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Sunday, September 30, 2007

Hello there!!!


I'm eating string cheese for which I had a coupon. I saved a dollar by buying one pound of string cheese...and it only cost me $6.69 to save that dollar. This is the stringiest string cheese that I've ever had. But it is pretty damned good, I must say.

In the background I hear that new show with Steve from Jerry Springer. When they asked if I had all of my teeth, I thought that they wanted peeps WITH teeth. It didn't occur to me that they actually preferred no teeth-ed peeps. I say that because only a toothless toad would go on that show and let Steve and his entire audience berate themselves. She is doing stupid stuff, of that there is no doubt. But this is surely no way to fix her problems.

Bless his heart, Steve's trying really hard but that's sort of the problem...it isn't familiar to him to behave that way. He's definitely NOT a natural. He appears uncomfortable and he paces nervously around his victim who...no matter what they've done wrong...looks much better when compared to an angry bald guy and the mob behind him. Even though the mob agrees with Steve, Steve just plumb tries too hard, that's all.

I'm having trouble sleeping again...so I thought that I would come out here and play with you guys. They say that you shouldn't stay in bed if you can't sleep because you need to associate being in bed with sleep...not tossing and turning, trying to get to sleep. Anyway, here I am...waiting for the Family Guy to come on. I love the precocious little Stewie...little did I know when I named Payton's cat Stewie, that he would actually BE an evil kitten. But he surely can be.

I'm eating my candy corn...and ice cream. I had Caramel Praline.....mmmmmhhhh mmmmmmmmmhhhhh!!!!

Well, I'm ready to try to watch TV on the couch, maybe I can fall asleep there.

Good night...morning...whatever.

Meg

3 Comments:

Blogger Lara Croft said...

I agree go to bed when ya tired, i hate tossing and turning and you know sometimes just getting up for a little while lets ya settle back to a good sleep. I confess if i was home during the day id nanna every afternoon too LOL

October 01, 2007  
Blogger akakarma said...

What kind of diet is that? Sounds good!

October 01, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

What kind of diet is it? It's the kind that works the best for me...the "I'm an adult and I can eat anything that I want to eat" diet. It's not only good, it's healthy...I DID have the string cheese!!!

LOLOLOL

:):):)

October 02, 2007  

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Hi!!!

Don't you hate it when you can't find the toilet paper? I know there's some in this house but I can't find it. What's worse, I didn't notice it until I had already tinkled. Men can just tap or shake but women have to wipe. When I realized that there wasn't any TP within reach, I had to get up and do the TP waddle that we women know so well.

Guys wouldn't know about it because if they were there when we needed it, we'd call them and ask them to get it for us. Then, we'd stick our hand out the door and wait for it. I waddled around for a few seconds and then I just waddled quickly to the paper towels. I saw those suckers earlier today...I know they're here somewhere. How do you lose toilet paper?

Anyway, I made a SMOD for you. Actually, I made two. Well, I made one, but I write two. One of them is a quick read but the other one is wso long that you'll either have to be a fast reader or else you'd have to move the button thingie under the picture back when you miss something. Anyway, here's the fast one:

http://flixn.com/play/hdanda/

OK, now here's the one that YOU have to read fast...it's good practice:

http://flixn.com/play/elqi8h/

OK then...Dennis, if you're still here, I bet you can read the second SMOD without having to go back!!! Nice to see you visit my little blog!

Have a good night ya'll!

Meg

PS I told you guys about Dennis...the first guy I ever made out with...over 30 years ago!!!!

2 Comments:

Anonymous m&m said...

Hi Meg,
Your friend is absolutely right. I think your expressions are so well done! Your writing is pretty good too. I completely lost it when you talked (wrote) about “Mrs. No Lips”. That was hilarious!
Meg, keep on blogging and SMOD(ing), and for heavens sake, keep on smiling.... I wouldn’t want to run into “Mrs. No Lips” any time soon!

October 01, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

M,

No...you don't. :)

Seriously, you haven't yet...have you?

M

October 01, 2007  

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I never did mention...

...the movie that Solaris referred to earlier. It's called "Why Did I Get Married?" and it was directed by Tyler Perry. I worked on that movie and unless they cut the ENTIRE scene, I WILL be seen this time. I try to do one movie a year and that was my movie for this year. They never tell the people working on the movie when it's coming out. I'm not even sure they know at that point.

I remember my first movie, I was so excited...I thought America has no royalty as such, so we must settle for Hollywood stars and Kennedy spawn when we look for someone to envy. We wonder what is must be like to live such a lavish lifestyle. So, when the opportunity came around to experience some of the lifestyle myself, it’s no wonder that I jumped at the chance. I was only too happy to wake up at 3 A.M. to drive over 100 miles south of my house so that I could arrive in time for wardrobe and make-up. We stood in line for hours but I didn’t mind. Why should I mind? In addition to letting me participate, they gave me $75 a day! A shot at fame AND cash. Who could refuse that? Not to mention the opportunity to meet William Sanderson of “this is my other brother Darryl” fame.

On my first day of filming, I noticed that there were 1,958 men for every woman there. I was to play a male, a union soldier being held captive in Andersonville, the Confederate prison of war camp. At least I was on the winning side.

In make-up, they smeared this stuff that was called MUD all over me. I am convinced that it is actual mud that they mix out back themselves. It was on my face, my hair, my clothing, everywhere.Next stop, wardrobe. The costumes were pretty good duplicates, down to the wool. We didn’t even need windbreakers then. The heat from the sun and the wool was dreadful. The hats only added to the heat conservation so by high noon I was ready to run through the set naked. Then I remembered, 1,958 men for every woman.

In my single days, I certainly enjoyed the company of men. When they were around, I made every effort to “accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative.” But never, in my entire life, did I have as many offers as I did during the two months I spent covered in MUD, whiskers and men’s clothing. I wouldn’t be rid of one guy for 5 minutes before another would come by and take a shot. They were as persistent as drunks at closing time. Even if I had WANTED to converse with these people I had no idea if they were nice people like me or derelicts.

As in any movie, you spend a lot of time just sitting around and that was when they would get me. I made friends with a huge guy named Christian. I asked him if I could just stand within 10 feet of him and he said, “Sure.” We hung out for the rest of the movie...(he spent the entire time protecting me and my virtue.:) Sometimes I would use his large frame to hide behind so I could get closer to the camera but they ALWAYS caught me. Not once did I pass as a man.

I taped down my entire chest during PMS and had a friendly make up man do his best to “man” me up but I always ended up relegated to deep background, one step ahead of the plywood cut outs. I did manage to get into one scene by burying my head in my arms so I AM in the movie, but I can’t prove it.

Being surrounded by strangers has possibilities. I had fun telling huge lies to amazed men who had some pretty wild stories of their own. Of course, it’s not easy to impress a lady who knows you earn $75 a day. It’s a must lie situation.The biggest laugh came when some bonehead actually wore a walkman during an otherwise perfect shot. Director John Frankenheimer himself fired the embarrassed rocker from 100 yards away. Very few missed that scene.

They did have free food. The best thing you could say about it was that it was free. I would wager that Mr. Sanderson ate a little better than we did. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, they got the clean outhouses and the huge salaries. Why should they eat food that would frighten a marine in boot camp?

I spent a lot of time just intermingling within the different groups, drunks and all. Where thousands gather, cliques form. Mostly, I hung out with the 60’s people. They appeared a little rough around the edges and decades older, but still stuck in the 60’s. I always wondered where the hippies went. They’re still out there, it’s just that arthritis prevents them from attending any sit-ins. Of course there were the “Shouldn’t you guys be at an AA meeting? guys. The most persistent of all the creepy people, they wouldn’t leave even after I insulted them and their mothers. They just stood there, swaying in the breeze. I kept wondering, “Why don’t they fall over?”

There was an interesting artsy-fartsy group of people but artsy-fartsy people are excellent liars so you can’t believe a thing they say.

Then there were the professional extras who considered this project beneath them. I didn’t see them often, they were all up front by the camera.

Other highlights include long hours away from home and meeting a bunch of stars whose names you can’t remember but you see all the time. I sweated like a horse and had MUD smeared all over me and then the sun baked it onto my face and hair. But I did have fun and nobody spat at me so, in hindsight, it was pretty fun.

Meg

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Saturday, September 29, 2007

SMOD made at midnight...

http://flixn.com/play/ove3oa/

In the SMOD, I mention that I'm running out of blue ink then I forgot and printed it with the messed up blue ink anyway. Oops.

Mea culpa.

It was midnight and I was tired.

Meg

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Karin offers to...

...accompany me on my stalking activities and I couldn't be more pleased. It's always nice to have an accomplice. But first, listen Karin...WHATEVER HAPPENS...don't tell the cops a thing! Not one little thing. When they tell you that I'm pointing the finger at you...just remember that I wouldn't do that! So, when you say:

"I would have loved to go with you and stalk the stars."

...I hope you mean it! Because anyone who would come up with this:

"Carrot top would have been fun."

...is my kind of people. I want to party with you girl.

First we'll go out for a few drinks and make fun of Phil Spector and try to figure out:

"who would want to sleep with this guy EWWWWWW!!"

We'll make fun of him, throw back a few brewski's and then go catch him, tie him into a chair and comb his hair properly. After the first couple of beers we'll come up with other such hideous tortures.

I always wondered how Elvis Impersonators could get laid. If they can, then anyone can. I don't get it anymore than you do. With that guy (Spector) it has to be the money. As tough as it is to imagine, there are women who would go out with a homicidal gnome for cash. Go figure. There are even cretin female slugs who would date OJ Simpson. That monster has a girlfriend...I saw her on the news. Can you imagine dating OJ Simpson? If you've ever really, really been in love, you would have to know that no one would ever truly fall in love with a known murderer. There has to be a reason other than love.

How could you be intimate to any degree with a man who you know has sliced off the heads of two human beings? It can't be possible. And it can't be possible that anyone would really LOVE Phil Spector. It's only money and power that these women are after. Of course, they never get it and as poor Lana found out...they could, however, get whacked.

So, yeah, I think I'll enjoy taunting Phil Spector. If there's anyone else out there who wants to taunt him with me, just let me know...I can work on your time frame.

Well, I think I'll make a SMOD...it's about bedtime. I've gotten myself into quite a pickle so far as sleeping goes. I'm sleeping far too late. Last night I tried going to bed early and instead of waking up early, I slept even later so I missed last night and this morning. I think it's the new medicine. Anyway, I need to go to bed so it's SMOD time!!!

Ciao!

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Friday, September 28, 2007

Here's a quick SMOD...

...of Payton being affectionate:

http://flixn.com/play/2ix91h/

See ya!

Meg

3 Comments:

Blogger SolarisGal said...

he's so gorgeous.

i just saw a big ad on the side of a passing bus for the movie you rehearsed for, "Why did I get Married". It made me laugh. looks like the movie is going to premiere on october 12.

September 28, 2007  
Blogger Sous Gal said...

He is SUCH a handsome boy!!!!

I luv the SMODs because yesterday, somehow, I blew out my sound card *yikes*!

September 28, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Sol,

Seriously? I hadn't heard a thing about when the movie would be coming out until you sent that comment. I have to write a bit about that in a post...I'll do that after I post this comment.

Sous,

So...now we have a GOOD thing about the SMOD's...you can still enjoy them without your OWN sound!!! I'm getting a video card from a friend of mine this week. He's getting a new one and sending me his old one which was quite expensive. I'm hoping that it will stop the jerkiness of the SMOD's...sometimes it looks like I've hit stop and then started again when in reality, couldn't do that if I wanted to!

Meg

September 29, 2007  

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Good morning!

I guess it's morning in part of the country...it's actually after noon here.

Whatever time it is, it's breakfast time and I just ate my Cocoa Pebbles. Those are good. My parents just had Cheerios, Wheaties, and Rice Krispies. I liked Rice Krispies...but with a lot of sugar in it. There were 6 of us so if Mom bought a box of Fruit Loops it would have been eaten in one day. You only eat Wheaties when you're hungry, you eat Fruit Loops because they're there.

One of the things I like about being an adult is that I can buy any cereal I want. Right now I have Cocoa Pebbles, Fruity Pebbles, Cocoa Puffs, Cap'n Crunch and Honey Nut Cheerios. I can't see what's in back but I'm quite sure that it's not Sredded Wheat.

The government is trying to legislate how much sugar can be in kids cereal. I think the food police are going a bit too far. We don't feed our kids STRICTLY sugar...but a parent too stupid to know how to feed a kid a balanced diet has some more serious problems. Maybe dietary restriction is the least of their problems. Some food police group set the sugar content at less than 12 grams and then they bitch that Fruit Lopps eeked by at 11 grams. Are they saying that their OWN standards are too high? If not, why would they complain that Fruit Loops are too high at 11 grams? Assholes.

If you'd have told my grandparents that there would come a day when the government would try to control they food and it's content at restaurants and cereal companies, they would roll over in their graves. This is so frickin' ridiculous. Things are changing and changing fast. Some of the changes are good...you wouldn't believe the places that people would smoke just 20 years ago. My ex carried one wherever he wen't. Not Rick, a different ex. When it came into law that you couldn't carry lit cigarettes everywhere you went, I sent a huge "I TOLD YOU SO!" to him by ESP. He didn't believe me that it was wrong...even though people carried them a lot, he took it to the extreme.

But most of the laws they try to pass are so arbitray and they (the politicians) do it because they want to look good, not because it's actually good for us to be treated like children. They've covered the biggies...no killing, stealing or arson. Now what? They justify their continued existence by making such silly laws whether we need them or not. I just want to smack these nimrods...don't you?

It seems as though the ONLY freedom we'll have is freedom of religion and everywhere you look, religion is pretty much being phased out as an authority of any sort. The family was phased out years ago when the government started paying women to lose the father of her children. The role and nature of the father has been reduced to that of a joke. Television played a huge role in that little ploy.

I've stood in front of buildings a thousand years old and marveled in the beauty and the contruction of places like Notre Dame and catherdrals all over Europe. Castles like Hever Castle are simply stunning and they leave you feeling an amazing sense of approbation for the skill and the broad base of knowledge that such accomplishments require. I stood in awe looking at the round pegs that they used as nails of some sort. Someone had to make the NAILS! That looked like quite a chore in itself.

I looked at Big Ben, the buildings of Parliament, Westminster Cathedral, Buckingham Palace, St. Pauls Cathedral and so many others. I was flabbergasted by their capacity to imagine and accomplish such astonishingly long-lasting yet delicate undertakings.

In southern Scotland and northern England, there have been a lot of border wars. Many of the buildings there have been, a long, long, long time ago, destroyed by one skirmish or another. But you can tell by whats left of the buildings that had they not been so violently attacked, they would still be standing. I wondered how these people were able to accomplish so much with so few tools.

Anyway, I eventually came home and American life took over again. But, still, I would find myself back in Europe, staring at the stupendous workmanship of those northern Europeans. I wondered how they managed it and how many years it must have taken to complete any one of those amazing buildings which are still, hundreds of years later... still standing.

Months after my return from Europe, we had a hideous ice storm. The power was out all over the Southeast for days.

Of course that meant that we had no TV. The Christmas before the ice storm, I bought my son a small, portable television. It had a 2x2 inch TV screen and it could be held in your hand. I remember our entire family of 4 (I wish I had my family back HERE in this house where they belong...I'd settle for 2.) sitting on the couch trying to get a look at that tiny screen. That's when it hit me...those people from the Middle-Ages were able to build such wonderful buildings because they didn't have television. I think we should all get rid of our televisions.

There wasn't very much available to us as children back in the 60's and we spent our times outside playing. Play is important for all ages...from the time that an infant stares at red balls hanging from a mobile to the time that adults play behind closed doors. Age-appropriate play is a VERY important component of a healthy person's social, mental and emotional development. Our kids don't play much anymore because of any one of a hundred television related activities.

A thousand years ago people who had comparatively no tools to speak of accomplished so very much more than we do when we have so many tools at our disposal. Oh well, maybe someone will develop a bomb that only kills the TV'S.

Meg

Now I'll fix this post...draft one

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Thursday, September 27, 2007

Middle of the night SMOD...

Excuse my sleep face...I'm very tired:

http://flixn.com/play/1v4y9h/

OK, I'll be back in the morning!

Meg

3 Comments:

Blogger Karin's Korner said...

Oh man Meg, I just got back from LA. Well, close to there anyways. I would have loved to go with you and stalk the stars. Carrot top would have been fun. I just watched him recently on Gene Simmons Family Jewels where Gene was checking out some of Carrot tops props and got his hand super glued to a vibrator...now that was funny!! I would also love to come and taunt Phil Spector with you...my question is who would want to sleep with this guy EWWWWWW!!

September 28, 2007  
Anonymous m&m said...

Meg,
Alone Again Naturally?.....I don't think so! As long as you have your readers, friends and Payton, you will never be alone again (naturally or otherwise).

September 29, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

M,

And don't underestimate your own contribution! You've taken up most of my alone time, a pretty neat trick, all things considered.

Nice to blog-hear from you,

M

September 29, 2007  

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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

You know...

...it feels like a Friday night to me. I don't know why...but it does.

I'm up just messing around and I thought that I would produce a SMOD for you. So...here it is:

http://flixn.com/play/tnitzy/

OK then, now I'm going to go play!

See ya!

Meggers

2 Comments:

Blogger E said...

Payton's father is adorable. So are your videos. I enjoy them more than I can say in a simple comment.

Thank you for brightening my day.

September 27, 2007  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

I am a die hard new york fan, but if we don't make it to the playoffs, I'd like to see Chicago win. I also think Piniella deserves to have that chance. I felt bad for him when he had to manage those terrible tampa rays. but it wouldn't surprise me if the Cubbies screw up the post season... or it would be intersting to see how the wrigley curse pans out this year. I read bartman is a guest of honor and has another front row seat?? lol

September 28, 2007  

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Hi ya’ll!!!

I just got home from the doctor’s office and I have my new medicine. At least I THINK it’s medicine, it could be a placebo. My doctor suggested that I would be a good candidate for an experimental drug study. So I figured, “What the heck?” It’s certainly worth a try. The tumor is in a place that can't be operated upon so this medicine is about all that's left to try. Oh well, I hate talking about that so I'll drop it for now. But the study thing is pretty neat...I'm glad that they accepted me.

I had no idea how much was involved in this study! I have a machine that is hooked up to a phone line and it has a thing that you keep on the modem but you can take it out and go places with it. It asks you questions and dings when you have to do certain things. It’s too much to explain here but I received my lesson in working it this morning.

OK then…do you remember the SMOD where I told you that the dumbest things happen to me? Well, I have another dumb thing to go along with my spider bite…an annoying pimple IN my nose. Why me? Of all the noses in the world, why did that pimple have to choose mine to live in? Well anyway, it hasn’t swollen much but I could be wrong…the swelling from the spider bite is on that side as well so maybe the nozit (nose + zit= nozit) is swollen but the spider bite swelling is hiding the nozit swelling.

At my age, zits should no longer be an issue. Most women my age are using Oil of Olay and here I am…still in need of Clearasil. That’s SO annoying! Oh well, maybe some day I’ll have to worry about wrinkles…but for now I’m still struggling with pimples.

Rick used to have a recurring nozit, but it was on the outside of his nose, not the inside. Every few weeks he would have a Bozo nose from that stupid zit. I spoke to him last night but I didn’t ask him about his nozit…he was busy telling me about his new grandson. That makes 2 grandchildren for him. I have 2 as well (one is biologically mine, the other is her brother and his father bolted before the baby was born so we were lucky enough to “adopt” him as our own. If we were still together, we would have 4 grandchildren! Talk about feeling old!

I told William how lucky he was…he got a son for free! And what a lovely little boy he is. He’s as smart as a whip (not that whips are particularly smart) and that sweet little boy just loves his Daddy! My son pays child support for his daughter of course, but the son is free except for the stuff we choose to get for him.

I don’t know how a father could just walk away from their child, I never have understood that one. This little boy is so precious and the biological father will never know what he’s missing. I won’t complain though…if he had stayed we wouldn’t have the little guy and that would be awful.

I’m so proud of my son. Not only is he a wonderful father to his daughter…he is a great father to that wonderful little boy. When they’re together, you would never know that my son isn’t his real father. Actually, my son IS his REAL father…the other guy is nothing more than a sperm donor.

Of course, my son had 2 great step fathers who taught him well. Both of them weren’t much in the way of husband material…but as fathers go, they were pretty good. I can’t complain about that. Actually…I COULD…but it wouldn’t be the truth.

Well, somehow my house is a mess again. I don’t understand how it gets so bad…it’s just me with a smattering of William here and there. And another thing I don’t understand…those damned DIRTY DISHES!!! I buy paper plates, cups and plastic eating utensils…yet somehow my sink seems to be full of dishes all the time.

OOOOOHHH! I just had déjà vu…again!

Well, considering the state of affairs in my kitchen…I believe that it is time for me to get off my skinny butt and clean the house. When I’m done, I’ll make another SMOD for you guys.
Have a good afternoon and I’ll be back later!

Meg

6 Comments:

Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

Don't feel bad. I'm on Clindagel (since the first thing they gave me made my face melt off) and differin.

And I can beat you - I had one IN MY EAR!!! I swore it was a tick. It was the single most painful thing ever. I've had one in my nose before...it hurts too.

September 26, 2007  
Blogger Jaded said...

I have more acne now than I did as a teenager. The doc says it's a combination of my polycystic ovarian syndrome and peri-menopause. Yeah, it's great to be a woman.

Also, be VERY careful of the nozit. My brother had one in March, which he popped. It got sore, so he put himself on 2 different antibiotics. (he's a doctor) Well, neither worked, so he ended up in the hospital with a staph infection which had to be treated by an infectious disease doctor with an antibiotic that is apparently the Lexus of antibiotics. He was in there for a week, and said he was in the worst pain of his life. They were worried about the infection being so close to the brain. The whole side of his face blew up like 3 times the normal size..it was frightening! BE CAREFUL!

September 26, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

YIKES! How in the hell did he pop a zit INSIDE of his nose? That never occurred to me. Ick, ick, ick!

I JUST told my son what your brother did and he said, "I stabbed mine with a tack." I had no clue that my kid was stabbing himself in the nozit!

Is that a man thing?

Your brother is lucky that he didn't get staph in his blood. That's the single most prevalent nosocomial micro-organism that there is.

(Nosocomial means an infection that is acquired in the hospital, not nozit causing bug)

Well, me and my nozit will be fine...I don't stick sharp objects up my nose.

:):):)

September 26, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

OH...Eliza...

...I can imagine that an earzit would hurt. Jeez, I didn't even know that was an option! Anyway, you're right...this sucker is quite sore.

I'm just putting warm compresses on my nose...I can't get one UP it.

:(

September 26, 2007  
Blogger Jaded said...

I don't know how he popped it, but he did. And you'd think he'd know better...the dude is a doctor, for cryin out loud. It's gotta be a man thing!

September 27, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

Meg? Get one of those Vick's things for the shower, stick it in a bowl of boiling water, stick a towel over your head and over the bowl of boiling water, inhale through nose. The eucalyptus and menthol will dry that puppy right up...and it's good for your skin too

September 27, 2007  

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Good morning!

I just woke up and I’m sucking coffee as quickly as I can because I have to go to the doctor’s today. I stayed up too late last night and then I woke up too early today.

I wanted to say a few words about the Alzheimer’s post that I wrote the other day. Although just anyone might not understand all that I wrote, anyone caring for a family member with Alzheimer’s would most certainly get it. I’m always glad when something that I write is especially meaningful to people. When something that I write catches my father’s attention, I’m especially pleased. He’s a tough nut to crack and as any child would, I like it when my father is happy with something that I’ve written.

Here’s the email that I received from my father yesterday:

Margaret,
I read your post and I am very impressed. You should find some way to have it reproduced (published?) and make it available to all Alzheimer’s families.
I am struggling with my own patient. I just discovered the solution to one of our problems. When **** dresses herself, she will often put on the same clothes she wore three time last week. I bought her several outfits recently but I couldn't convince her to wear them. Yesterday, I took a garbage bag and bagged her worst choices. I just realized that if she doesn't see them, she doesn't miss them. I just drop the old clothes at a clothing recycling box.
Dad


He didn’t know that I was already getting it published but anyway…I’m glad that my father found meaning in my words.

I could write about Alzheimer’s patients for hours and never get bored with it. I’ve worked with so many of them and I’ve enjoyed almost every minute that I’ve spent doing it. Any nurse whose been around for any length of time has a wealth of stories to tell and I’m just another nurse with my own stories. On this blog alone I’ve written about my patients often and those are some of my favorite posts.

OK then…I have a doctor’s appointment this morning and that’s why I’m up so early. Before I get ready for that appointment, I wanted to make a SMOD for you.
I’ll do that now.

Meg

OK...here's SMOD for Wednesday morning:

http://flixn.com/play/o6iem6/

After my morning so far, I'll have to make another SMOD later!

Bye for now!

1 Comments:

Blogger Karin's Korner said...

Hey Meggers!!

Just got back from vacation, and love, love, LOVE your SMOD's. way cool!! Also, trying to catch up on everyone's blogs, noticed the war....OMG!! Some people should grow up but I have to admit, I did get a chuckle out of them a bit :)

September 26, 2007  

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Tuesday, September 25, 2007

This post is just a...

...quick note to all of the other bloggers who have been annoyed by the freak who speaks like an illiterate fool. I just figured out who it was...and guess what? It's the plagiarizing skank that has been trying to annoy the entire blog world.

They BOTH used the word "fuctard".

Alrighty then...one day too many. If she would have stopped acting like an idiot a couple of days ago, we wouldn't have known it was her. Now we know.

Sorry to break my own rule banning her from the blog but that was too important to let it slide.

OK...I'm banning her from the blog starting....NOW!

Meg

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG! Meg, you're right! Call me and I'll give you MY proof that she's the nut who did that. If you didn't mention the fuctard thing I wouldn't have thought of it.

KLB

September 26, 2007  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

about the the illiterate - lord have mercy - as those were some very nasty and embarrassing comments.

Now hurry up with your visitor caus eyou've left me in suspense!

September 26, 2007  

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OK...

..until I fix something, this is the SMOD for now:

http://flixn.com/play/8wobh/

Now...I'll have the next one ready soon, hopefully!

Meg

PS OK, I got it! My friend figured it out for me. Now, if only he could help with the sound stuff...

...I'd be golden!

http://flixn.com/play/uwptxd/

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To my wonderful children,


I watched you as you walked out of the Alzheimer’s Unit today and I know you thought that I didn’t remember you. I saw your tears and I wanted to make them go away but I didn’t know how. Even though you tried to hide it, you seemed so sad. I wanted to make the sadness go away but, once again, I didn’t know how. I heard the doctor tell you that I didn’t know who you were. I had to let you know that nothing could be further from the truth.

There’s a very special place deep inside of me where I dwell along with my memories of you and of all that you have ever meant to me. In that special place, I know who you are. You are my child. For as long as my heart beats, you will be inside of it…and I never go anywhere without my heart.

When you were a tiny baby, I would hold you in my arms and stare into your eyes. I watched you stare back at me with such a look of awe…I wondered what was in your mind. You couldn’t tell me then and I can’t tell you what’s in my mind now. But trust me, just as you were behind the eyes that I stared into back then…I am behind my eyes today. Maybe people can’t see me, but I’m there. And, in my special place, I have you with me.

I get frustrated sometimes and things get a little confusing for me. I try to tell you that I love you and instead, I take off my shoe and stick it in the sink. I want to cook dinner for you and instead I throw food on the floor. My heart wants to hug you but my hands just make circles in the air. I don’t know why these things happen any more than you do. But please don’t think that I have forgotten you. You’re right here, inside my special place.

And please remember that I’m still your mother and that I want what’s best for you. If it means that you have to take care of your own family, please know that it just serves to make me proud of you. All I ever wanted was for you to have a life and a family of your own. Please don’t feel as though you're neglecting me. You’re ALWAYS right here with me, deep inside my special place.

I don’t want you to think that I’m sad, I have so much here inside of me. So many things are here in my mind. I remember them so clearly. There’s no rhyme or reason to my thoughts, but I know them all. They’re thoughts that I’ve had before…but they come in so randomly that I can’t really make heads or tails of them. But I DO know them all, and you’re a huge part of my thoughts. That’s because instead of coming to me in real time, my thoughts are coming from my special place.

I have so many things in here with me, recipes, phone numbers, the ice cream man who came to our neighborhood when I was a child. I have school dances, tree houses and my purple bicycle. With me are memories of being in love, holiday dinners and driving through the mountains. And of all the things that I have in my special place, you are by far the most precious.

I may have lost the ability to know how to put on a pair of shoes…but I remember putting yours on when you were 4. I may not know what to do with a telephone but I remember when you called to tell me that you had just gotten engaged to be married. I can’t, for the life of me, figure out what to do with a spoon, but I remember feeding you with one. I can’t find my way to my bedroom but I remember tucking you into bed with a kiss at night. It may not seem like I know much at all, but here in my special place, I have a wealth of knowledge…and I earned most of it from raising you.

So, don’t be too sad. Instead, look at your life, your children and your happiness. If you can take care of all that you have and all that you are, then you’ve done all that I’ve ever wanted you to do. Your life makes mine worth all that I have, all that I know and all that I’ve ever done.

And remember, you’re with me always, always. I keep you deep down in the core of my soul with all that I am. It may be hard for you to understand…but in my special place, the essence of you exists in a way that I can recognize. I know exactly who you are, you’re my child.

Mom

5 Comments:

Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

Jesus, Meg, why do you have to go and make me cry first thing in the morning?

September 25, 2007  
Blogger Sous Gal said...

Your capacity for empathy and compassion is astounding. I'm dealing with the second generation of altzheimer's and I appreciate reading posts such as this one. Keeps me grounded.

Thanks :)

Oh.. and thanks for the link! Just noticed that yesterday...d'oh!

September 25, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

In one capacity or another, I've been in nursing for over 30 years. I started as a nursing assistant in 1974. In all of those years, my favorite patients have always been the Alzheimer's patients. There aren't many other nurses who understand that...heck...there aren't many people at all who understand that, nurses or not. But I have enjoyed them since I first cared for them in '74.

OK then, I'm going to watch Judge Judy...yes, again...and then I'll make a SMOD for you!

Meg

September 25, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My father has alzhimers and I was so touched by your story that I had to tell you how much I appreciated it.

I'm going to send copies of this story to all of my siblings in hoping that they will be as touched as I was as I was reading it.

I hope you don't mind, thank you.

Kenny

September 25, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Kenny,

No, I don't mind if you show your own family. I'm very sorry to hear about your father and I hope that he's doing as well as can be expected.

I wrote this for a magazine and that means that I've sold first rights so please don't give it to anyone else but your family.

Good luck!

Meg

September 26, 2007  

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Monday, September 24, 2007

I have some more...

...goodies to share with you guys! I hope you're hungry...I have plenty!

http://flixn.com/play/94h4h5/

Meg

6 Comments:

Blogger mylifeatfullspeed said...

OMG! I gotta quit eating while I'm um..well, now it's not reading your blog anymore...I guess it's watching your blog...anyway, I damned near shot a baby carrot out my nose when I saw the Cock soup.

You need a disclaimer for those who don't know what to expect. Not for me, of course, I knew better, I just had a momentary lapse there.


WARNING: DRINKING AND EATING WHILE WATCHING MEG'S BLOG COULD RESULT IN THE NEED FOR THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER OR WINDEX AND PAPER TOWELS TO WIPE OFF YOUR KEYBOARD/MONITOR/DESK AREA.

:)

September 24, 2007  
Blogger MB said...

I stumbled over from Jaded's blog. After reading the sad letter to kids, I almost died laughing at the video (cock soup). Talk about going from one extreme to the next. Thanks! I'll be back!

September 25, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha ha! Cock soup from GRACE, that is a Jamaican brand fyi. Place chicken, whole or pieces in water, add your favourite veggies and seasonings, you may also add a can of drained pumpkin and peeled potatoes. Empty a packet of 'Cock' soup into the pot and let cook 'til done. Yummy. Of course, there is no real 'cock' in that package, neither feathered nor hairy...lol....I guess 'cock' is more of a 'sell' than 'rooster' soup.

September 25, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

MyLife,

Sorry about the carrot in the nose, I can't imagine that was too easy to pass.:)


MB,

Thank you for the comment, it led me to reading your blog which is very sweet and very relatable (is that a word?). I enjoyed it and wanted to post a link to it for other boomers:

http://blogmemama.blogspot.com/


And Anon:

Thanks for the recipe! I was happy to read the history of the cock...I can't believe that the word COCK would be used as a selling point for SOUP!

LOLOL, Love you guys!

Meg

September 25, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Meg, just wanted to correct my 'recipe' Don't add the entire package of 'cock' soup powder to your soup. As the saying goes 'there might be too much salt in your soup'....is that a saying btw? I thought there was a 'soup' saying...oh well! LOL.

Anyways, add and taste, add and taste, to your taste.
Then enjoy.

September 27, 2007  
Blogger Dennis said...

It's been many years and I guess I've been missing out on more that I thought......I mean there is you but now this whole "cock soup" Hummmmm.....what next.
Blast from the past.... ;)

September 30, 2007  

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Sunday, September 23, 2007

That poor little thing...

...must be one sad, sad female. She wasn't happy that I traced the nasty comment that she left on the Sally Field post below. When she saw that I knew it was her, she decided to do the OPPOSITE of plagiarism...instead of taking another person's work and putting her own name on it, this time she took her own work and put other people's name on THAT.

I have an entire life and it seems as though that pitiful female can't stand the fact that I have something she doesn't. I don't know why she's so obsessed with me, but she is. Between the entries that she's left on my blog and responding to every single comment on her own blog...I'm not sure how she has anytime to work. Does she have a job or does she just sit at home awaiting another comment from one of her readers?

I, on the other hand...am at work as I type this. I'm on a break so I wanted to pop in, say hello, check my emails and send a couple out. For some nutty reason, I thought that Little Thing would stay on her side of the blog world but I was wrong. If you check the post below this one, you'll find some of her handiwork. She has taken the names of a few normal people and left her usual comments using their names.

I don't have time to address this any further right now, but I shall...in the very, very, very near future even though I would much rather do ANYTHING else. If you would like to see how Little Wing spends her Sunday afternoons, read the comments on the post below this one. Then, when I get home this evening, I'll squash the bug, ban her from my blog (the first time that I've EVER banned anyone!) and then I'll watch the Bears game!!!!

Have fun and I'll be back ASAP!

Toodaloo!!! (I hope that I spelled that properly!)

Meggers

3 Comments:

Blogger Sous Gal said...

"da bears". An SNL skit with Norm!!

I wanted to tell you the vids are HIGHLARIOUS! And Payton...such a handsome boy! And Stewie...well now Stewie...ummm.. "gotta luv him!" :)

I can't wait for sound omg I might burst an artery or something :)

While you're doing the declaw thang...maybe someone needs their wings clipped?

Your blog, your veto.

September 23, 2007  
Anonymous Limerick Gal said...

Somebody obviously has way too much time on their hands!! I agree with Sous Gal - your blog, your veto.

September 24, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Yep,

And I hereby veto any and all people with that much free time on their hands!

I'm going to make a video for you as soon as I finish my coffee. I worked so much that I slept until after 1 PM Monday afternoon! That's what I get for staying up so late in communicado with my pal.

OK then...the lunatic will have to go back to bickering alone. I'm bored with the whole scene, man.

See you soon!

(Or you'll see me anyway!)

September 24, 2007  

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Uhhhh....


"Is this the problem you are having?? I meant the model number of the Camera...http://www.tomshardware.com/forum/21338-3-audio-logitech-4000"

YES! Somebody understands me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH!

The model number of the camera is V-UAY22.

...Ok now Master...what next? I am going to work and I shall look forward to hearing more of your wisdom while I'm taking care of sick peeps!


Meg

16 Comments:

Blogger Jaded said...

I just did a quick search for you, and since I only know the model number and not the name of the model, I found a TON of stuff here:

http://forums.logitech.com/logitech/board?board.id=quickcam_software

If you have a motion sensor on your webcam, there is a known bug that fails to record audio. But, you could poke around a little on those boards, and even ask one of those techies some questions.

September 23, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Yes, Jaded, there IS a motion detector, it will follow you around if you set it that way. I'm at work checking my email...when I get home I'll check out the link.

Thanks girlie girl!

Even IF I ever get this fixed, I'm still making SMODs because they are fun. I can do both, depending on my mood!

See ya, I get off at 7.

Meg

September 23, 2007  
Anonymous John said...

Jaded is correct...here is the same forum, but specifically searched with your model number.

http://forums.logitech.com/logitech/search?submitted=true&type=message&sort_by=score&q=V-UAY22&page_size=50

September 23, 2007  
Anonymous Eliza Doolittle said...

Only a jackass would not understand how to read simple instructions. Meg.

September 23, 2007  
Anonymous Limerickgal said...

pffftt!! Where's your other son, cause I'm growing cobwebs waiting for his call! Loser!

September 23, 2007  
Anonymous SolarisGal said...

fuck off loser Bitch!

September 23, 2007  
Anonymous Mylifeatfullspeed said...

Meg is a fuctard!!!!

September 23, 2007  
Anonymous Lara Croft said...

Bitch bitch!!! Vile piece of shit old lady!!

September 23, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

John and Jaded,

Thank you so much for your help, I really appreciate it. As I said before, when I get home from work I'll check out the sites! Thanks so much!

Meg

September 23, 2007  
Blogger Lara Croft said...

LOL how sad is this individual, I guess they don't like being exposed!

September 23, 2007  
Blogger mylifeatfullspeed said...

Wow! I can post comments even when I'm miles away from my computer!!

I'm amazing!! LOL

:D

September 23, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

The real Eliza says:

Will the class-less identity thief please step forward? People, if you are going to pretend to be me you could at least STUDY me and pass off a decent doppleganger....

Besides, meg knows my IRL name.... :-)

September 23, 2007  
Blogger Jaded said...

What's so funny to me about this is... isn't this the same person who claims to be so popular, worshipped, have tons of comments etc? If she really had the life she says she has, how would she have time to post bogus hate messages on anyone else's blog? What a lying skank!

September 24, 2007  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

Wow...seems like someone went kabloy. Well, with the way that I was portrayed, I don't see any academy awards in sight for the aspiring actress.
Well except for maybe laras and mylifes imitation just kidding.

September 24, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

LOLOLOL...I love you guys!

I just have one question...what the hell is a doppleganger?

Meg

September 24, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

German for your evil twin!

September 25, 2007  

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Saturday, September 22, 2007

OK...

...this is the Sally Field Story. In 1977 I was living in Petaluma California and I had a neighbor named Kristy. The town we lived in had been used as the setting for American Graffiti. When they were filming that movie in Petaluma, Kristy dated Harrison Ford. I didn't live there then and I didn't know until recently that he was a married man at the time.

When I lived there, they used the town to film another movie called Heroes, with Harrison Ford, Fonzie and Sally Field. The cast was having a party at The Adobe Inn and Harrison had called Kristy when he got to town and invited her to the party. She asked me if I wanted to go. Of course, I did. Harrison and Fonzie were there, Sally wasn't. I was so young and it was 1977 so I was excited to meet the Fonz...I had never even heard of Harrison Ford so I was NOT impressed with him.

Anyway, I got to chatting with a few of the folks there and they told me that I could come to the Sonoma County Fairgrounds the next day and watch them film. So, I did.

They were filming a race car scene. They had this one car that was full of cameras and had one seat for the driver. That car was used to drive around the track and film the cars in the scene as they drove around the track.

When the production broke for lunch, it started raining and I ended up hanging out in one of the trailers with a chick I had met that day and some of the crew. It took a while before they were able to film again and when they were getting set up to begin again, I walked over to that camera car to look at it. All of a sudden, a crowd began forming around the car. The driver hopped up into the seat and a lady standing next to me asked him, "Can I ride with you?" That was supposed to be funny because there was only one seat. I thought it was lame. I looked at the woman who had said that and it was Sally Field. I asked her, "Are you Sally Field?" She answered me, "If I'm not, all these people are surrounding the wrong person." She said it in such a snooty way that I was kinda disgusted. I said, "Oh. Well, I was looking at the car." And I turned around and walked away.

That made me dislike her and then her acceptance speech at the Oscars shortly after that, "You like me...you really, really like me!"...made me gag. So, I don't like her.

I did meet the Fonz and Harrison, but as I said, I didn't care about the Harrison dude. I remember that Fonzie smoked Vantage cigarettes at the time and that Harrison was cute...but I hadn't seen Star Wars and I had no clue who he was. If I had known he was a married man...I wouldn't have been as nice as I was.

I was watching Biography one day last year...it was Harrison's Bio...and they said that he and his wife got divorced in 1979...shortly after he had been dating my friend Kristy. I'm sure she wasn't the only one he cheated with...but she was one of them. I was kinda shocked that she would date a married man.

Anyway, that's my Sally Field story.

Meg

6 Comments:

Anonymous John said...

My comments on your video..

1. Of course payton would like Filet Mignon flavored alpo...who wouldn't?

2. Bummer about Sally Field...I always did like her.

3. My god woman..how much paper are you using??

4. Have you ever successfully had a microphone work on your system? Easy common problems include the mute being checked in the control panel/sound app.
And of course, not being plugged into the microphone jack on the back of your computer.. If you let me know the model name/number, maybe I can give you another suggestion..

5. Cute socks!!

September 22, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Well, first of all, John...I can make the web cam work and create files with sound and audio but I can't get those suckers to do anything. I can't save them, upload them, download or whatever. So, the mic on the camera works and I can hear it. I don't know what the problem is. And I can't get the PC to recognize the mic in the web cam so I don't know what's wrong.

I'll give you the model number and name...if you tell me what model number and name you want...the PC? The Camera? Something else?

I'm baffled.

I thought about wasting paper, then it occurred to me that if I mailed them all out, I'd use more paper. Now I only have to use one copy of whatever I write. I don't have to send out multiples!


Thanks for your offer of help!


Meg

September 22, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Only a BITCH would dance with a dog. Bitch!

September 22, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Hi Little Wing...always a pleasure!


IP of that commenter:

San Jose California United States
dialup-4.182.150.52.Dial1.SanJose1.Level3.net (4.182.150.52) [Label IP Address]
diaryofmydivorce.blogspot.com/
diaryofmydivorce.blogspot.com/
us.f592.mail.yahoo.com/ym/ShowLetter?MsgId=3778_45118_6859_1829_683_0_17835_1358

September 22, 2007  
Anonymous John said...

Is this the problem you are having?? I meant the model number of the Camera...

http://www.tomshardware.com/forum/21338-3-audio-logitech-4000

September 22, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well stat counter sure doesnt lie does it!~

September 22, 2007  

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Good morning!



I just got home from work and I am pretty tired right now. But before I went to bed I wanted to stop in and say hello. I worked in a psych unit last night...that was interesting. I don't mind so much but I'm rather claustrophobic and if I think about being locked up long enough it freaks me out. Of course, I didn't think about it much.

My son said that Stewi (the evil cat) was clawing at his neck while he was sleeping and that the cat "had to go". Yeah, right. The cat only eats a buck's worth of food a day and he doesn't bitch if it's too hot. My electricity bill was $500 bucks for the past month. The AC cools the bedrooms and the bathrooms before the rest of the house so it's freezing in the bathrooms...I don't like cold bathrooms, I tend to wear less clothing there than anywhere else and it's quite annoying to be so cold when I don't have many clothes on. And I don't even want to talk about the cold toilet seat.

I suppose I should just take Stewi to get declawed...he is a bit of an asshole. Of course, if we lose the testicles as well the problem should be solved. He keeps attacking McFly who is already declawed so I really do need to get those claws off of him.

Damn...I'm getting really tired. I guess it's time to make a SMOD, I can't think too clearly on no sleep and those one sentence things are easier to come up with than a bunch of paragraphs. Yeah...that's what I'll do. BRB...it's time to start production.

Alrighty then...here is the Weekend Edition of Meg's SMOD.

http://flixn.com/play/t1gs8e/

Ciao bella!

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Friday, September 21, 2007

Payton dances!!!

Here he is!

http://flixn.com/play/42ql77/

OK, now I'm leaving the house, I'll be back sometime.

I hope.

Anyway, have a nice evening...I'm outta here!

Meg

4 Comments:

Blogger kellie said...

love it love it love it - I actually don't want you to get sound - this is truly a unique way of blogging ;)
but I hate you wasting trees.....

still.... enjoying your videos

September 21, 2007  
Blogger Grammie said...

I love your silent videos!

I don't know who was having more fun...you, or your dog!?!?

September 21, 2007  
Blogger akakarma said...

Clap, clap, clap clap!!!

September 22, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

I'll have to teach Payton to take a bow! He's usually much more into the dancing than he was there...he just likes to make me look silly.

:):):)

September 22, 2007  

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OK boys and girls...

...here's my SMOD (Silent Movie of the Day):

http://flixn.com/play/bexmd6/

Hope ya like it!

Meg

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yessss, I like it. But you must remember to hold the pages with more info a bit longer....yes, I am a slow reader. It is a blast.
Those creatures in the packets are not really for eating nor are they real, are they?

Meg, sorry to tell you but if I remember correctly your dad is retired so you will have to pay for a lawyer if you want to sue someone or just say, 'what the heck'!

September 21, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

The creatures are for eating. My daughter got them from some guy who works for the Discovery Channel on a show called "Bizarre Foods".

Shhhhhhh! I was trying to appear mighty!!!!


:):):)

September 21, 2007  
Blogger Lara Croft said...

Great fun Megs !
I hope we can all meet oneday, you remind me of my darling friend Barb, I stayed with her for two weeks while in the states in 01.
She was a hoot !

September 21, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

I'd love to meet you too. Are you gonna be in Vegas? I may be in LA when you're here so maybe we can meet!

I'd like to have a huge blogetogether!!!


:):):)

September 22, 2007  
Blogger Lara said...

I sure am, Sol has all the details !

September 22, 2007  

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Why is it...

...that a hundred things in your car will breakdown, but that damn alarm just keeps going? I can't seem to kill my alarm. I rip parts of the sucker out of the car and it STILL keeps blaring away. I have never, ever had to take my car in to have the alarm fixed...I can't kill that bastard!

Damn, the alarm system is like an old Maverick I had with half a million miles on it. I bet that car is in the junk yard somewhere with the radio on and one headlight shining. That's another entity that would not die. Christine had nothing on that sucker.

Well, my phone woke me up by ringing nice and early...which is odd because I usually don't wake up to the phone. But...it did ring so here I am. I should have gone back to bed since I was up until the wee hours again...but I wanted to get back to my desk and see what I could try today to get the damned sound to work. I may have to go another route...and it's a much tougher route than the FLXN.com site. That site makes it so easy to make a video, but I can't get the stupid mic to work...at least I think it's the mike that won't work.

OK...now I'm going to make another video for you and then I will go back to playing Meg....Slayer of All Obnoxious Computer Programs. Until then, just remember, the fork goes on the LEFT!

:):):)

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Hi there!

It's so very late that I have to go to bed without dancing with Payton...even he doesn't want to get up off the floor. I'm exhausted and my back is killing me...time to go horizontal for me!

But, as soon as I get up and ready...I'll be back with a video of me and Payton dancing! That'll be cool.

Did you ever have one of those experiences where you're just walking around (or sitting, it isn't integral to the story) where you're thinking about one thing that leads you to a different thought that pops into your head, with no warning...and suddenly you say to yourself..."Did I just think that? I'm in love with him? How could that be?"

Then, suddenly it dawns on you, from out of the clear blue sky...you ARE in love! You smile all the time, constantly want to be with them and then Cupid shoots you with an arrow...right in the back so that you don't see it coming.

It's nice to feel that way again. It's lovely to feel wanted...and, as I told Rick...it's also lovely to feel like a woman. He stopped doing those things. So, now I'm ENJOYING SOMEBODY ELSE!!!

Ta da!

Oh! The new name of the blog is going to be, Enjoying Somebody Else.

And I shall.

OK...bedtime!

Nightie Night!

Meggers

2 Comments:

Blogger Lara Croft said...

That is the best feeling, when you smile thinking of him, its blue skies everyday sigh

September 21, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Oh...the smiling! That's just insane! My cheeks hurt constantly!

:):):)

September 21, 2007  

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Thursday, September 20, 2007

Sorry that I haven't written much today...

...but I've been trying to get the microphone AND the camera to work at the same time. In the meantime, I have made this silent film for you!

http://flixn.com/play/w9i8uq/


OK then, now I have to get back to trying to fix this dumb thing!

See ya!

Meg

9 Comments:

Anonymous Limerick Gal said...

You're cracking me up!!!

We gotta do drinkies again one night........SOON!

September 20, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

We can do that! Right now I'm yelling at a guy in India who doesn't know what the hell he's talking about!

September 20, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you certainly are a cutie

September 20, 2007  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

Beautiful! Thanks for that! I was thinking... you should put a video link on your dating profile. I'm sure you'd get lots of dates!

September 20, 2007  
Blogger kellie said...

OH my gawd you are killing me - that was too funny!!!!!!!

September 20, 2007  
Anonymous John from Indy said...

That cracked me up...and Peyton is a good looking dog...yes PEYTON..oh wait a minute, he's named after the OTHER Payton (best rb ever)..

September 20, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

LOLOL...yes...THAT Payton! But yours is cool too!

Thanks, I'm gonna do another one in a while...with Payton dancing with me.

Meg

September 20, 2007  
Blogger akakarma said...

Too funny Meg!

September 20, 2007  
Blogger Lara Croft said...

Oh that was awesome !! and definately worth the wait !!!
Definately the best silent movie Ive seen in a long time....

September 20, 2007  

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Wednesday, September 19, 2007

OK...

...I've been working on this stupid thing for hours. I had the audio working with Live Messenger but it wouldn't work for this thing so there isn't any sound...but here is my very first video...I made signs so you don't have to read my lips:

http://flixn.com/play/yvrkmg/

Now...if you have a CLUE what I'm doing wrong...please let me know! It's 2:51 AM and I can't think anymore. BUT...I'll be back soon to try again!

Meggers

OK...now it's morning and once I get some coffee in me (and my jammies off...well and some NEW clothes ON), I will once again go back in front of that obnoxious thing and try to make the sound work. This is the problem...I use the thing on Messenger and it worked well except I got voice through my speakers but I couldn't SEND my voice. Then, I could create a video WITH audio on the QuickCam thing but I couldn't figure out how to make THAT video do anything except play for me and I really, really HATE looking at myself so that was no fun and pointless to boot. Then, a friend told me to go to flixn.com....which was a GREAT site! I could easily create a video...but with no sound.

I can't imagine what the hell else I can do, I stayed up until 4 AM trying before I just went soundless. Maybe with a couple of hours sleep, I will be able to figure it out but I doubt it....I had a computer genuis on the phone for a LONG time trying to help me. I don't know where the problem is...with the camera, the computer, the programs or the speakers.

I've spent too much time and too much money trying to do this to just keep holding up signs everyday. I don't know who I can yell at to get this working either...no one but me has ever used all of this stuff. I may call Circuit City and bitch to them....but they DO remember Rick over there and they kinda like him so I don't want them to say, "No WONDER he left her!" So, I can't bitch too much at THEM! I wish I had thought about that when I bought this computer!

If you know anything about puters and think you might know something that I can try...feel free to help! In the meantime....back to the drawing board!

Meggers

11 Comments:

Blogger Sous Gal said...

omg that's fukin highlarious!!!! I vote keep the sound off :)

September 20, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are much more photogenic than I am. My webcam just seems to enhance any negative features and seems to create some like real dark circles under my eyes when in reality they aren't there. Cute video!

Wendy

September 20, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Well thank you. I was a bit worried after hours of being annoyed over the stupid sound problem...but it was 4 AM so I didn't really care. I was getting slap happy and my son brought a drunk chick to my house so I had to run into my bedroom to avoid that situation. Then, I fell asleep and now I'm up...but I haven't had much sleep so the next video very well may have REAL circles under MY eyes!

Meg

September 20, 2007  
Anonymous Limerick Gal said...

Do you have a mic with your computer?

September 20, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

By the way, to answer a private question...there are too many of them...email me the ones you mean and I'll see what I can do!

Meg

September 20, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Lim,

I don't know. I know there's one on the camera...maybe that's why the camera thing works...ya think? Also, I couldn't get the computer to recognize the camera's mic so I bet that has something to do with it, ya think?

I could still do this is I could figure out how to get the videos from THAT program...but Flixn is too easy!

Meg

September 20, 2007  
Anonymous Limerick Gal said...

Yeah I played around with that site after I talked to you last night - I liked it. Might have to give it a whirl sometime!!

September 20, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I vote to keep the sound off too, you could be onto something 'different' here. It was very funny.
Could you please let us see the fish tanks too, especially the new salt water tank.
Remember, forget the sound, everyone does sound....too boring.

September 20, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Well, for the time being...that's the deal. I've been working with this thing literally for hours and haven't gotten it to work yet. Actually, I did, but then I had no video. It was very frustrating. I need a break from that so let me make another silent film!

Meg

September 20, 2007  
Blogger mylifeatfullspeed said...

OMG!!! Reverse Cue Cards!!! I was laughing so hard I almost peed!

I'm gonna be chuckling over that for the rest of the day! You are one funny lady!

:)

September 20, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Uh...you know, I wasn't trying to be funny so I'm not sure what to make of all the comments saying that it was funny. But, as long as you enjoyed it...whatever!

Meg

September 20, 2007  

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I've got my new camera set up!!!

And now all I need to do is figure out how to take a video. I think I can do it...it's such a cool camera with great resolution...let me see if I can make a video...BRB.

Meg

Damn! I've made the video and I can't figure out how to get it to do anything except play. I don't even know how to save it. Oh well, I'm getting there.

Meg

2 Comments:

Anonymous Limerick Gal said...

Waiting patiently....... :)

September 19, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Lim, Call me and tell me how to do this!

September 19, 2007  

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It takes a LOT of thought…

…and time to keep up a blog day after day. If you enjoy writing, it’s the perfect outlet because you get to hear people respond to what you say, you begin a discourse and ultimately everybody learns something.

The toughest part of blogging has got to be coming up with a new idea every single day. Sometimes I have an idea, sometimes I just sit at the computer and start typing. I have no clue what’s going to come out. I just hope that what I’m writing isn’t too boring. Take this morning for example…nothing has happened since the last time that I wrote you guys so what am I supposed to say now? The most exciting thing that’s happened to me since I last wrote is that I woke up this morning and the icky tasting orange toothpaste that my son picked out was gone (or close enough to gone) so I went to my bathroom, opened my cabinet and pulled out a tube of cinnamon flavored toothpaste that I had been waiting to use. It’s amazing how long a tube of toothpaste lasts if you WANT it to go away. Try to make it last and it’s gone immediately…but, it’s taken me well over a month to help the kid use that funky orange toothpaste.

There have been days that, for one reason or another…I just didn’t have a clue what to write…or I just felt too badly to write that day. I have gone back in the blog and re-run some of my favorite posts, I’ve posted links to other blogs in with a paragraph explaining why I did that and I’ve even gone without so much as looking at my computer for an entire day.

But…no matter how tough it’s been to deliver a post on a daily basis, I have never, ever, not once so much as considered plagiarism. I’ve used other people’s work but I always use quotations, italics or different colors…some form of notice that this is not my original work. This font is the only font that is all me, any other font and it’s someone else’s material. It would never occur to me to take another writer’s work and take credit for it anymore than I would steal a person’s paycheck. Plagiarism is most definitely a crime of sorts, certainly a civil transgression, and there have been people who have paid dearly for claiming work as their own when they did nothing but change a few words to suit their purposes.

Also, in nearly 3 years of blogging, I’ve never seen another person plagiarize anyone’s work although I did hear once that someone had stolen MY work…much to my chagrin. But, yesterday I learned that there most assuredly is a plagiarizing blogger that blogs under the name of Little Wing.

I don’t want to plagiarize ANYONE else’s work, so I will just post the link to the proof right here:

http://larass.blogspot.com/2007/09/how-bizarre.html

Read the story if you like and then make up your own mind…I am a FIRM believer in people being free to think for themselves…it makes us all so interesting. But, after I wrote the post about cyber-tease and women who don't allow men a free reign with their own minds, this Little Ping thought that I was speaking of her. So, ever since then, she’s been sending the nastiest, most vulgar emails that you could imagine.

Shortly after I began this blog, it occurred to me that I was calling people out for things and yet I wasn’t perfect either. Assuming that at some point someone might throw something from past out into the open, I decided to beat them to the punch. Every damn one of us has done things of which we are not proud. I trusted that my readers would understand that…think about their own transgressions, and allow me mine. All of my mistakes hurt me…I’m no OJ Simpson. I wrote an entire post admitting to the worst things that I had ever done in my life.

I did that when I was still in a lot of pain from the divorce and I already felt as though I had nothing to lose…my life was over anyway…it was all gone. I didn't have so much as a thing to worry about. Also, honesty is an extremely freeing experience and has saved me a LOT of worry.

Having nothing to hide is an absolutely wonderful feeling. Apparently Little Wing doesn't know that...she's threatening me with the things that SHE thinks are frightful. She's actually indicting herself when she attacks me. She's been emailing me about all of the things that I admitted to and some things that are total fabrications…and she’s threatening to use them all against me.

Here is the most recent threat:

How dare you talk to me like that. I'm not doing a wrong thing, but you are a drug USER. Keep lying to yourself and Keep hating men. You ARE a very bitter idiot Meg and no one can argue that you are a moron. NO WONDER YOUR HUSBAND LEFT YOU!!! No FUCKING wonder!!
I have people here that BACK me because they LOVE me NOT cause they FEAR me. Your friends are a bunch of dopes and if they're not dopes they’re BITTER, FAT or BOTH!! Im not scared of you like they are. You will never be competition. And dont think that we have not found the *very* dirty stuff about you on the Internet by your son with your FAT picture. Dont mess with us. BITCH. Just turn around and Go back to AA and everything will be cool beans. Got THAT? Good!


I never spoke to her, I know not what she's talking about. This is a perfect example of a person bickering all by herself. The main reason that I owned up to all of my sins was to take that power away from those who might attempt to use it against me. I now do the same thing with Little Wing. It was just serendipity that being totally honest has been so damned FREEING!!! It’s a wonderful feeling and one that everyone should have.

I remember a time when I was drinking too much and I was beginning to think that I had a problem. I lied to everyone else about my drinking, how much and when and where, whatever I had to lie about. Then one day…for no reason in particular, I shared the truth with a friend.

I had been denying the truth for so long out of fear that everyone would think ill of me. I didn’t want to lose my friends or my family. But, the most amazing thing happened to me…when I told the truth to my friend that day…she stayed my friend. So I told more truths to more people and suddenly I found myself much lighter. I had stopped worrying about how I need to cover this lie or drink that 12 pack…it absolutely made me feel lighter.

Eventually telling the truth just became a habit and I still have all my friends and family. The people that I care about like me, trust me and would vouch for me any day of the week. It’s a great way to live. It doesn’t change the mistakes that I’ve made…but it’s no sin to make a mistake. It’s a sin when you don’t learn from them.

Little Wing, I promise, you have nothing to fear. EVERY SINGLE ONE of your friends would still be your friends if you were 100% honest with them. I promise. Also, I’ll tell you what I used to say to my kids, since I’m such an “old hag” I can do that. I’ll give you this one chance and assume that you didn’t know that plagiarizing other people’s writing was wrong. But…here is the definition (notice how I cite the source):

Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of Law
Main Entry: pla·gia·rizePronunciation: 'plA-j&-"rIzFunction: verbInflected Forms: -rized; -riz·ingEtymology: from plagiary plagiarist, from Latin plagiarius, literally, kidnapper, from plagium netting of game, kidnapping, from plaga nettransitive verb : to copy and pass off (the expression of ideas or words of another) as one's own : use (another's work) without crediting the source intransitive verb : to present as new and original an idea or work derived from an existing source —pla·gia·rism /-"ri-z&m/ noun —pla·gia·rist /-rist/ noun


So, now you are responsible for that information because I know that you know it. If you do it again, you will be severly reprimanded.

Have a lovely day!

Meg

Here are some more emails from the person who "can't stand all of this drama!":

You idiot, you don't make sense. Weren't you once arrested for DUI?Didn't you attend alcoholics anonymous? Your children must all bemanipulators, you drunk bitch! Put your panties back on and if youcan't do that, put them over your head. Make sure the dirty parttouches your nose so you can take a good wiff at your loser self. I amthe winner, not you. You bitter losing bitch! I AM THE WINNER. See mycomments? I have MORE comments than you will ever have. I am betterlooking than you or your ugly fat friends. Only bitter ugly girls whogot left behind comment on your blog. You sagging old bitter hag.

A webcam of an old drug addict lady on meth! Gross bitch! What is thisfuckin world coming to?

BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH!!!Drug addict!!! AA bitch!Drug
addict!!!Drug addict!!!


This girl needs some serious help.

14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bugger that littlewing jadey rose. She should be ashamed of herself stealing information from the internet like that

September 19, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

jadey rose? is that what she's calling herself now?

ROTFL!

September 19, 2007  
Blogger mylifeatfullspeed said...

Whoa! That was really really disturbing. Really.

(I just can't possibly say really enough there.)

:)

September 19, 2007  
Anonymous katy said...

Honestly, that doesn't sound like her at all. Maybe someone is tricking you?

September 19, 2007  
Blogger Jaded said...

I am TOTALLY lost!

And so what if I have a fat ass? I've been happily married for almost 12 years, so what's fat got to do with it?

I'm bitter about having to deal with psycho bitches like the one emailing you. Does that count?

September 19, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now there's a side you don't see too often, and here I was thinking she was a sweet natured soul who wouldn't harm a fly?
Such language from one so LITTLE.

September 19, 2007  
Blogger akakarma said...

Keeping up a blog is hard work! Keeping out of the middle of a blog war is hard work! It's sad...
I know all parties feel wronged and are being triggered- this group has been through a lot of trauma. Keep in mind- we are all flawed humans who make mistakes. I can deal with all of that and love all of you- the only ones on my list are the OW's! Meg, you are prolific and generally entertaining as well as stimulating- thanks for your blog.

September 19, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Honestly, that doesn't sound like her at all. Maybe someone is tricking you?



LOLOLOL, honey, THAT'S MY ENTIRE POINT!

That's the real her...I knew her when she liked me too.

September 19, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The blogosphere never ceases to amaze me. This is just bizarre! Also very sad.

September 19, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is truly sad is someone believing in creating an inauthentic life will somehow make her popular, even if only in blogland.

September 19, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Exactly...and she'll probably never understand that I was serious in my advice to her. I know the benefit of honesty...it would help some people more than they'll ever know. They just need to learn to like the real them...flaws and all.

Meg

September 19, 2007  
Blogger Anne Arky said...

How strange! I've found that most sites on the internet at some point deteriorate to some bizarre 8th-grade level on somebody's part, with people choosing up sides like it's a damned volleyball game. I think it's the same three people who spend their entire lives surfing the net and looking for some place and some way to try to create a major bickerment. I'm not sure exactly what kind of power trip they get from it, but that's what it seems like to me.

FYI, Meggers, I have a whole blog now that's openly based on plagiarism -- it's called "In Other People's Words", based solely on the fact that I found something that someone else said (and I don't always know who, only that it wasn't me) that I couldn't or didn't feel moved to try to say better and that I thought was worth sharing. Some of it's ranty, and some of it's mild humor, and some of it's both. It's usually something that I received in an email pass-it-on. As I'm sure YOU know, but for the benefit of your "friend" here, the difference between what I'm doing and what she's doing is that I'm not taking credit for having written any of this stuff.

Anne

September 20, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Hi Anne!

Yeah...it's amazing what some people will do with their time, day after day. Oh well...I'm dealing with a new problem now...SOUND!

I like the idea of that new blog, that's really a cute idea. I started one along those lines once but I had enough trouble finding enough time for this one.

Nice to hear from you!

Meg

September 20, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i just read this, is this the same jadey rose supposedly from chico?

April 08, 2008  

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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

And the award goes to...

...all the cyber-teasers in honor of the men they cyberwhip.

5 Comments:

Blogger akakarma said...

Hey, that looks like my OW!

September 18, 2007  
Blogger mylifeatfullspeed said...

ooooo...she's bringing out the Skank...someone's in trouuuuuuublllle!! LOL

September 18, 2007  
Blogger kissmekate said...

Not like my wopig....the legs are too skinny!

And the hair is not bright and tacky supermarket-dye red.

September 19, 2007  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

Cow-leen the adulterous girl from airmont who stole my husband must be jealous!

She's been knocked from the chart!

September 19, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Yes, I thought of that. But gnats have little wings and you can swat them away easily enough...cow-teen WILL regain her title.

:):):)

September 19, 2007  

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By the way...

...if any of you happen to run into Sally Field, the nit wit who said that, "If women ruled the world there would be no bleep bleep wars!", give her a message for me.

Tell her that in the past century, the 3 most famous women rulers ALL led their countries into war.

Indira Ghandi----war
Margaret Thatcher---war
Golda Mier---war

OK then, I have to go to the store now. See ya!

Meg

4 Comments:

Blogger SolarisGal said...

Margaret B. Kelso----BlogWar

September 18, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

LOLOLOL...I don't think that one counts. I never hear a thing about blog wars until they're over. It's amazing how people can fight a totally one sided fight. Odd folk.

Meggers

September 18, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

Historically there are lots more: Catherine the Great, Elizabeth the First, Eleanor of Aquitaine....the list is REALLY endless.

And one could make a case that the chasing of tail led to the greatest war of all - the war between Catholics and Prots - so thank Henry the 8th and Anne Boyelyn for that one...

September 19, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Absolutely. Anne Boleyn is one of my favorite characters from history. I've even been to her family home, Hever Castle.

Yes, women are people too and power is a mighty seductive device. Just look at all the manipulative women you meet who are in charge of 4 people...women would absolutely start wars. They would just do it quicker to prove they are powerful. So, you have a person who loves power wanting to prove herself...Sally is an idiot.

September 19, 2007  

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I KICK MYSELF

(Sung to the tune of the Divinyls 'I Touch Myself')

I like myself, I want you to hear me
When I feel down I know you could be near me
I’ve searched myself I see that you’ve owned me
I forgot myself and I just let you bone me.

I just want somebody else
When I think about you I kick myself
Ooh I just want somebody else
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes.

You’re the man who from whom I should run
You’re the one who has blocked all my sun
Since you’ve been here it seems I’ve stopped laughing
I am so glad that we’re done

I close my eyes and see me before you
I started to die when I didn’t ignore you
The fool I was I completely adored you
My knees are still sore from bending before you

I just want somebody else
When I think about you I kick myself
Ooh I just want anybody else
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes

I don’t want you, I want anybody else
And when I think about you I kick myself
Ooh, ooh, oo, aah

I just want somebody else When I think about you I kick myself

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Ever since I’ve been speaking…

…to that wonderful friend of mine from my much younger days, I’ve been remembering a lot of things. Mostly because we’ve traded so many memories…but also because it just has my head back in the 70’s. I think one of my favorite memories isn’t really something that (let’s see…we have to name this guy for ease of reference…let’s just call him Melvin) Melvin mentioned…it’s more of a result of remembering what I was like back then.

Melvin did tell me how much fun I was, and he was right…I WAS fun! I’ve tried to keep up the fun in my life…but so much bad stuff keeps happening, especially with my health…that I just sort of slowed down more and more.

There were so many things that I did back then that I remember doing, and I did them for the pure fun of it all. I enjoyed every single say and I was always happy. I was extremely energetic and up for just about anything that came along.

I’m not sure what happened to change all of that. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with being broken down by the people that I cared about the most. That’ll do a number on the way you feel about yourself…won’t it? It can make you feel like a failure, like you’ve been used until you’re all used up and as though you’ve been duped. That kind of stuff just doesn’t lend itself to having much fun.

But if you’re lucky, someone like Melvin will come along and allow you to peek back into the past…long before the damage was done. I’ve been doing that and I like the chick that I’m remembering. Melvin and I enjoyed each other thoroughly and that was because both of us were just easy going, nice people who enjoyed having fun. I didn’t worry about every little thing that came along…I just rolled with the punches and kept on truckin’. I think Melvin was sent here right now for a reason…I NEEDED to remember who I was.

Of course, it took years for that person to be executed and replaced with a cheater’s Stepford wife…the pathetic woman who is constantly worried, always wondering and trying to fix herself. But…the upside is that it doesn’t take that long to fix yourself. You just remember the person that you were and visualize the life that you led, the things that you did and the smile that your wore. Then, you just put effort into having fun. Sooner or later fun will become a habit, then a life-style and then it’ll just be YOU!

It’s the smiling that means so much to me. It’s very rare that I smile enough to make my cheeks hurt…but hurt they do!

Smiling from ear to ear,

Meg

1 Comments:

Blogger akakarma said...

Glad to hear it Miss Meg- you deserve every bit!

September 18, 2007  

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Don’t you just hate the word...

...Penis? It just sounds so stupid that it’s no wonder that people seem to rename their ‘members”.

I think it is kind of funny that you don’t rename the body parts until you know someone really well. Up until then, you have to use the word penis. What a stupid word. Penis. I hate that. Say it out loud a couple times, Penis...Penis…Penis.

Penis’s do give us some information...if you ever wondered whether or not God is a woman, look to the penis for the answer. If God WERE a woman, the penis would be on a man’s chin, not in between his legs. The penis will tell you how large a man’s foot is as well. You find one big enough and you can be sure, there are some big ass feet walking around somewhere. A funky penis will tell you that your date has been visiting a certain trailer park in Kennesaw, Georgia where the appellation trailer trash is considered a compliment.Although I don’t know any people named penis, I did have a boss named Mr. Penisis. He was the manager for the Yankee Doodle Dandy Restaurant that I worked at when I was 15. I would use his phone and if he left his name tag on the desk, I would cover up the IS at the end. He never noticed it before he put it on. I can’t believe I was paid to laugh that much. I wonder what the record is for using the word penis in a paragraph? Let’s see…

Penis is a word that doesn’t flow too well, say it again, penis. You can’t really work penis into too many sentences. What can you really say about a penis? After the penis envy conversation, why would you ever use the word penis? You can’t just stand up and shout, “Penis!”, not even in a crowded movie theater. As a nurse, I was able to write penis occasionally, but not often. I did have a patient with a damaged penis once. I had an order to do a dressing change on his penis. I thought that perhaps a doctor should take care of the penis. A lady shouldn’t touch a strange man’s penis if there is another penis person around. So, the penis wielding doctor took care of the penis for me. Of course, I had to ASK him to change the penis dressing which meant I had to say the word penis to him. You can’t replace penis with One Eyed Wonder Worm at the nurses station, you just have to say penis. Shouldn’t the plural of penis be peni?Well, I am all penised out. (Funny, that never happened when I was with Rick.)

When my son slammed his penis with the toilet seat, the doctors at the emergency room told me to take him home and elevate it. (You use a rolled up towel.)Apparently, there are some penis stories in my family I didn’t know about. My father and I have been discussing penis’s and he told me that one of my brothers zipped his up and hid in his room with it zipped up.Talk about delicate.That explains a lot.The Chicago White Sox had a pitcher named Gary Peters who was injured. The paper ran a story that said, “Sox to play without Peters!” I’ve been a Cubs fan ever since.


It’s one thing for we women to be interested in the male member, but I find it mystifying when a man devotes too much time to his OWN wanger. I don’t mean their little love affair between Mr. Hand and Mr. Happy…I just don’t understand why would anyone actually draw pictures of the thing? For some strange reason a man did just that...AND he posted it on the internet:


WOW!!!


Now, why he chose to show the entire world a drawing of his “member”, is beyond me. But what truly perplexes me is why on Earth he felt the need to pencil in his own ruler? Now, perhaps that might be a good idea for some men, but in this guy's case, I think he would have been better off leaving the measurements out of the picture. Many men, and a number of women, I am sure, are concerned with the size of a man's penis. In case you are one of those folks, here is a guide with which you see how your penis “stands up” in relation to others:



And, should you check out that chart and find that your penis doesn’t quite “measure up”, you can always try:


Enlargel A transdermal male enhancement gel proven to rapidly accelerate permanent penis enlargement!


Apparently, if you take a big handful of this stuff and rub it on your penis...in a rapid up and down fashion, you will see immediate results!!!!


By the way, if you think that your penis is particularly extraordinary, please help out these folk:


We need your penis pictures! Pictures are of great help to many men. Please submit your pictures today. Just send them via e-mail to rubent2@yahoo.com or upload them yourself at our Yahoo Club.


Of course, some men may prefer to keep a "little" secret, and I certainly understand that. If you are one of them, you have my sympathy and I shan't ask you to disclose anything that you don't want to disclose.


In researching the mighty penis, I found an affliction that I had never heard about…even after YEARS of nursing school and college:


The other day I was masturbating and afterwards when I got soft my penis was softer than usual and since then it bends to one side and I have no sensation on the one side it bends to one side when I get an erection...Signed, Bent and confused.Well, Bent and confused didn’t just sit there, wanger in hand, wondering what the hell was going on. Oh no, he wanted to know what had caused his penis to become warped. So, he sent an email to a doctor who, for some unknown reason, decided to post Bent’s problem on the internet for the entire world to see. I don’t know why...perhaps Bent and the doc had more than a patient-doctor relationship and then Bent betrayed the poor doctor. Of course, this is just a guess, I could be wrong. One way or another, the doctor answered Bent’s question:It sounds like you caused yourself some trauma while masturbating. You may have what is known as a fractured penis. Usually, the penis will become limp immediately, and you will have some noticeable bruising and swelling, which it sounds like you had. A fractured penis? I didn't even know that was an option....BUT...it does explain a LOT.

OK, once more…I’m sick of the penis talk…too much penis makes me gag. I'm ready for some penis action.

AND DON’T TAKE THAT AS AN INVITATION! I meant it rhetorically!

Meg

6 Comments:

Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

You know, Vagina and Vulva aren't any nicer.

Does anyone actually say either of those during sex? Like...I can't wait for you to put your hand in/on my Vagina/Vulva????

LOL

September 18, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Eliza,

I certainly did consider that same thought...but I decided to try to figure out a way to bring them up in a seperate post. You are sooo right!

Meg

September 18, 2007  
Blogger Eliza Doolittle said...

Maybe we should have a contest for the silliest housewife porn description of sex possible? Must, of course, be originally authored.....?

September 18, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

OOOOOHHH! Good idea!

We could call it Meg's Forum! Let me think about that one!

I like it!!!

Meg

September 18, 2007  
Blogger akakarma said...

I want to join- let's call it Wendy's forum!

September 18, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Well, who's gonna start the Forum? Let's hear a story folks!

Meg

September 18, 2007  

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Monday, September 17, 2007

Remember back when I first bought...

..my new computer and I was talking about making video posts? Well, the proper web cam should be here Wednesday. When it arrives (after I figure out how to use it), I'll start making the videos. It has a microphone and a camera so it should be all that I need to do such things. That's one of the things I told the salesman that I wanted to be able to do when I bought the computer.

Now I just have to figure out how to do that and I should be good to go. I haven't decided what I'll say...I might end up just sitting there staring into the camera. But if that's what I do, that's what I'll post.

If I had the sucker now I'd probably say something about that pig, OJ Simpson. This should be interesting...if he comes up with cash to pay his bail, couldn't the Goldman family take it away? I suppose he'll have someone else do that for him if he has a friend who WOULD and COULD pay for whatever bail is set at. Wouldn't you think that a 60 year old man would have better things to do with his life than to go around acting like a thug?

What a joke. He can't even commit a crime properly. First he leaves a trail of blood all the way to his bedroom and then he allows himself to be taped while committing a string of felonies. He's such a bumbling fool of a crook yet he seems to get away with whatever he does.

I've heard one yahoo defending OJ...and what he said will no doubt become the official "party line" that OJ defenders will parrot. None of them are bright enough to come up with a thought of their own so this guy was out there giving those defenders an excuse to call OJ innocent. Until they get that story...they just sit there with their jaws dropped as the facts come out, awaiting a line of shit that they can all use. Well, they have it now. Apparently his excuse is that "you can't steal something you own and OJ didn't know the guys had guns."

Legally, neither argument is a defense, but it IS enough to convince a moron and somehow a few morons make their way onto juries. All it takes is one. Damn...this'll be fun. One moron and they have an excuse to commit jury nullification. I think that OJ could walk up and stab one of them in the chest with a knife and they would STILL find a way to let that man walk free.

I guess he's a moron's moron. As long as he's free, the rest of the morons feel as though they're free as well. But life goes on and the prisons are full of morons less effective than OJ at creating sympathy. And for some reason, people who actually have to serve their time will still applaud OJ's freedom after committing murder. That, I don't understand. I like to think that the rules are the same for all of us. I wouldn't think kindly of ANY murderer who managed to get away with the crime.

Well, one way or another, this should be interesting.

I think I'm going to clean my kitchen so that I can mess it up again making dinner. What to cook? What to cook? Uuuuuhhh, chicken. That's it...chicken. OK then. What to do with the chicken...see ya.

Meg

7 Comments:

Anonymous Limerick Gal said...

Will you be posting random videos of a certain hottie to entertain us???

September 17, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow insightful. I never considerered the aspect of children of addicts actually learning manipulation from them, and at such a tender age with no one there to right them it is little wonder they continue this pattern in cyber life

September 17, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Limerick...just for you...any chance I get!

Anon,

Yeah, they learn from manipulative adults. Only a manipulator extraordinaire would be a successful addict. And the kids don't learn normal coping measures because they don't see any. Then, the manipulation works for them so they go with it.

Kinda sad.

September 17, 2007  
Blogger mylifeatfullspeed said...

OMG!! Meg is gonna be loose with a Video Camera? She is going to single handedly take blogging to a whole new level! I can't wait to see it.

(you know...since it's famous anyway, you could have a Meg's Bed Cam and just have it watch your bed...alllll day...EXCEPT when you are um...using it (for sleep and other private activities). THEN you make it display an image of a doorknob with a red ribbon tied around the knob (or something like that) to indicate to the viewer that you are busy and they should come back later...LOL)

I'll make the image for you when The Bed is ready to enter the world of Reality Blogging. :)

There are people who have cat cams and those things move less than your bed, I'm sure. You'd at least get a ton of visits out of curiosity!! LOL

:)

September 18, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Girl...you're on! The camera is coming tomorrow and then the a guy friend of mine is going to help e set it all up. Then, I need you! Email me your number, you know I can't hold on to a number longer than it takes to dial it.

Thanks chickie!

September 18, 2007  
Blogger mylifeatfullspeed said...

You've been emailed. :D

September 18, 2007  
Anonymous Limerick Gal said...

Hurray!!!

Uh........I mean I look forward to reviewing all your video postings with interest.

September 18, 2007  

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I recently received an email...

...from a dude who was the victim of a cyber-tease. I've heard of a few guys who have had that happen to them, although it happens with women as well. With women, the guy just wants to chat online and use a web cam if at all possible. That's his way of "cheating" on his wife without actually leaving the house. But...when women do it, they usually do it for different reasons. But, if it suits their own purposes, a woman will do a tad of cyber-sex...but that's as close as these guys will ever get.

The guy was stunned because he thought that this little thing was something that she wasn't. She put herself out to be a "never married" and available woman when in reality, she was divorced and simply getting a kick out of the attention and the control that she wielded over the guys. If you're having a similar situation, ask yourself a few questions:

1. Do you actually have feelings for a person that you've never met?

2. Does this person have other men communicating with her on a daily basis?

3. Have you changed ANY of your own behavior because of something that this little woman has said to you?

4. Are there things that you enjoyed before you cyber met the tease that she has convinced you are bad things?

5. Do you feel the need to hide ANYTHING from this woman for fear of incurring her wrath?

6. Does she ever discuss actually MEETING you or does she somehow seem to have a reason to keep your relationship totally via phone lines and cable modems?

7. Does she speak ill of other women in a way that seems rather disproportionate to the actual circumstances?

8. Are there any other women that associate with her for any length of time or does she seem to surround herself with men, sooner or later finding SOMETHING wrong with EVERY female who comes along?

9. Is ANYTHING that she says verifiable...or are you believing her out of the trusting nature of your heart?

10. Does she have a sob story that makes you feel like she needs your protection?

There. If you answered yes to 3 or more questions...you are being cyber-teased.

Just go back to being yourself and doing whatever you want to do. Adults don't have to explain their behavior and they should never have to change their behavior for anyone. If someone doesn't like you and your behavior online...do you really think that the future holds much freedom for you? If someone truly cares about you...they'll enjoy you and your behavior...not manipulate you and other men into changing their behavior to suit her purposes.

Have fun!


OH, by the way, another important thing to remember is that Adult Children of Alcoholics have their own support group. They grow up learning how to manipulate others quite well. So, be careful when dealing with the children of addicts, no matter how pathetic their stories...normal people don't dwell on their past.

PS... I can't believe this...but a nut (Little Wing) must have thought that I was referring to her when I wrote this post. I didn't know that she was into manipulating men...but just in case there are other women thinking that this post was about them...it came from a person in Michigan. LOLOL, why would someone take this post and say..."LOOK! I'm the cyber-tease she's talking about!" Some people are simply childish. Too funny.

Here's part of her LATEST email to me:

You bitter losing bitch! I AM THE WINNER. See mycomments? I have MORE comments than you will ever have. I am betterlooking than you or your ugly fat friends. Only bitter ugly girls whogot left behind comment on your blog. You sagging old bitter hag.

LOLOLOLOLOL....Methinks she doth protest too much. I must have truly his a nerve when I wrote about cyber-teases. Sorry if I screwed up your plan hon...just continue to disallow the men to communicate with other women by dangling the hope of a meeting...I won't interrupt...if they're that stupid, I can't help them.

And if it makes you happy, yes child...you are the winner. I'm not sure what the contest was...but you can have the prize. One nice thing about being an old hag is that old hags aren't bothered by brats anymore than a 30 year old man would be bothered by a two year old calling him a "poo poo head".

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I couldn't do that... I would feel bad cyber-teasing men.

But I feel that men who allow themselves to be "pussy whipped" by a woman in the way you described are just as much to blame.

If I saw a guy whom I liked online, and I saw that the guy was flirting with 30+ other women who are also commenting on his blog, what would make me think that I'm so special??? Just because we email little fantastic thoughts to each other doesn't mean anything. I just don't see why anyone would fall for this...sooo, I say it's just as much the guy's fault.

Excellent post, Meg!

September 17, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For some its an art, the art of deceit. They are so clever it takes a genius to catch them out, I also think they very much decieve themselves, not only those they touch.

September 17, 2007  
Blogger Lara Croft said...

I think you should suggest that quiz to http://www.blogthings.com LOL.

September 18, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Hey Lara, I'll look into it!

Thanks girlie girl!

September 18, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Lara, I can't find the submission button!

:(:(:(

September 18, 2007  
Blogger Lara said...

Bummer, oh well, you could always create your own quiz LOL..
Now back to your last bit of comment, all I can say is if the shoe fits???

September 18, 2007  

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Sunday, September 16, 2007

All right men...



Here is a set of fake boobs that I found on another blog. (Thank you, Sous!) Now...are you guys sure that THESE are the boobs that you don't like? I have to be sure that we mean the same thing when we say "fake boobs":




OK...I'll await your confirmation.

Personally, I think they look sort of painful. I have a tough enough time sleeping on my stomach already...I doubt that those implants would shift as easily as the real ones do. Oh, I just thought of something else...I'd be afraid that if I slept on my belly the boobs would flatten. As a matter of fact...what keeps them from doing that? DO they flatten? Do women just stop sleeping on their bellies after they get these monsters?

Oh well, an old lady I took care of years and years ago cleared my brain of ever getting them. This women looked like she was so old that she must have gotten the very first pair of implants EVER. I didn't realize that they even HAD implants when this lady was young. Anyway, she was lieing flat on her back and I took her gown down to stick electrodes on her for an EKG. I immediately noticed the huge round things where her boobs should have been. BUT...there were no nipples on them. I thought that was odd. I had more electrodes to stick on her so I pulled the gown down some more and I noticed something going under her left arm. I moved her arm and pulled the thing out from under her. Much to my horror...it was her left breast. She had implants....and her own boobs...but the two pair were nowhere near each other.

With all these little blue pills and plastic surgery....old people are going to be having a lot more fun...I guess. But, I had to wonder....if a man was having sex with this woman with 4 boobs, what would he do...go after the round things on her chest...or be a gentleman and go on a search for her nipples?

Terrific...Viagra and plastic surgry...now you'll have men wielding plumbing long since out of warranty on women hawking parts decommissioned years ago.

Don’t you think we are tempting fate a little with all of these unnatural goings on? I do. Imagine the potential progeny of Joan Rivers and Bob Dole. Jonathon Winters comes quickly to mind.

My parents embarrassed me enough when they were in their twenties, I wouldn’t even want to think about a couple of horny eighty year-olds dropping me off at school. I think that those little blue pills are some man’s attempt at getting even with women for that whole Garden of Eden fiasco. Why else would they do that? Were the men complaining that they didn’t want it anymore? I know that the women didn’t whine after the men stopped “performing”. You wouldn’t think the men would whine...if THEY have no urge there is no problem, right? I know there wasn’t a man saying, “You know, I must think more of my poor wife. I wouldn’t want her to go without.” I don’t think old men think that way, do you?

So, who’s idea was that little blue pill? I must know. And one other thing I must know, how many do you have to slip a man before he gets one of those four hour erections? I promise to seek medical attention...after I have tried everything I know to solve the problem myself.

Anyway, no fake boobs for me. I've thought about it like a lot of women...but I never seem to think it's worth it. I'd much just rather stuff my bra.

Have a nice Monday!

9 Comments:

Blogger akakarma said...

I'd worry they wouldn't flatten since I am a stomach sleeper! Learning to live with who you are is one of life's greater challenges!

September 17, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Yep...it can be a bitch. Did you say that you would worry that they WOULDN'T flatten??? I'm confused. The only thing worse than two huge fake boobs would have to be having two huge flat fake boobs.

:)

September 17, 2007  
Anonymous Oprah said...

Oh I dont a woman needs big boobs, she just has to be willing to put her bikini shots online.

September 17, 2007  
Blogger Sous Gal said...

yw Megs :) For the record, a male friend of mine said "no way!" to liking those boobs.

As for posting a video on your site:

Youtubedotcalm and when the video you've chosen is playing there, underneath is the option "post video". You click on that, type in your blog url, the title and description you want to appear on your blog for that video, and in a few seconds, the video appears on your blog!

September 17, 2007  
Anonymous ooh lala check out my body! said...

Jq comments by email? Wowzee! Maybe he doesn't want the one who's trying to fly to find out he's communicating with you!

Flyyyyy, flyyyyyyy - how does that song by bette go again?

September 17, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Sous Gal...thanks...I have to try that. I was wondering what a man would think of those tits.

Ooh,

You've just confused me. BUT...that's OK...I stay confused.

Meg

September 17, 2007  
Blogger akakarma said...

Well, if they wouldn't flatten just a little at least, it wold be like sleeping on two balloons- not comfortable! Real ones at least spread out a little so you can get comfortable!

September 17, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mon Dieu! Ohhh, the backaches! Ohh, the shoulder pain! I couldn't even walk slowly without knocking myself out if those babies "flexed" at all!
TW

May 16, 2012  
Blogger Meg Kelso said...

All I can say is, "Ouch!"

May 16, 2012  

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Some nit wit named Alex…

…who obviously hasn’t read much of this blog, came by, read a couple of posts and decided that, “…You love to stereotype all men as pigs, and yet womenwith your same attributes manage to get by…”

Anyone who has been reading this blog for any length of time knows how ignorant that statement is. I have NEVER forgiven women for committing the same transgressions as men…EVER. I did point out that MY own personal experiences were with a man so that’s what I talk about. I am painfully aware that women can be as disloyal and as nasty (if not nastier at times!) as can any man. I’ve heard from men who have told me their stores and I have known men who were treated poorly.

I just choose not to continually offer that caveat…but apparently I have to do so periodically. If I were so unfair to men, I wouldn’t be promoted by Father’s Rights groups for my articles bashing women for the way that SOME of them turn their children in weapons, pointing them straight at the father and then firing…without regard for the children…these women seem to hate the husband more than they love their kids.

Certainly men can be guilty of that behavior…but I haven’t seen it. I’ve seen women do it…so when I write under MY name…it will be about MY experiences! DUH!

All men are not pigs and all women are not angels. I hate having to say that over and over. Another thing that I am not happy about is having to explain when I’m trying to be funny. I’ve heard from people who just don’t get it before and as I told them then, I tell Alex now…blow me.

Oh, and another thing Alex, it is NOT “self-absorbed” to talk about yourself on a personal diary blog. DUH. Of whom should I speak? Mick Jagger?

One thing is for sure…you are an odd fellow. If you don’t agree with me, are not entertained by me or just plain don’t get it…don’t come here and subject yourself to such objectionable material.

Oh, and what do you think that you can accomplish by writing a nasty statement to someone who has been writing a blog for close to 3 years? Do you think you have anything new to tell me? After well over a quarter of a million visitors…what do you think I HAVEN’T heard?

So, here it is, my obligatory proclamation that I am not, nor have I ever been, a man-hater. I have stood up for men numerous times and anyone who has read this blog for any length of time knows that. So, Alex, before you make such ignorant comments to people, you should take some time and make sure that you know what you’re talking about.

:):):)

5 Comments:

Blogger Sous Gal said...

Sometimes someone just jumps right in and shoots their mouth off. Unloaded, of course.

September 16, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Yep, those who are at the top of the Ignorant List.

September 16, 2007  
Blogger Jaded said...

Maybe he has a cat. That would explain things.

September 16, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

LOLOL, yeah, that'd do it!

:):):)

September 16, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sous, ya know that's not the ONLY thing they "shoot off."
The proper term is "Premature Ejaculation." And it sounds like that idiot had one of the verbal type to go with his other problem as well as an inability to read and comprehend.
Huh. Once again they get one head mixed up with the other.
No wonder.
TW

May 16, 2012  

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Saturday, September 15, 2007

Well, well, well...



I wasn't quite sure what it was...but I knew that there was something going on out there in the world that was making some men stupid and ME comparatively smarter. For years I've been trying to figure out why certain men acted like morons and were seemingly impossible to educate.

Luckily for me, infectious disease researcher Nicky Boulter has discovered "A common parasite can...Make men more stupid...".

That explains a LOT. Now I understand how such nasty ass females were able to entice my ex-husband into an affair. They, after figuring out that men who somehow ingested cat dung, realized that the men seemed to find the funky females (who had already been infected with the germ) bizarrely attractive. It wasn't really Rick's fault...his drinks had been spiked with the mind altering cat feces. He couldn't help it...he was actually a victim. I wonder when Oprah will get around to covering this story and I just can't wait until the first man uses the cat shit defense in court.

It's really the perfect crime...as far as I know there isn't a law against infecting a man's food with this particular parasite even though "Human infection generally occurs when people eat raw or undercooked meat that has "cysts" containing the parasite, or accidentally ingest some of the parasite's eggs excreted by an infected cat." Ick, just the term cyst in the same sentence as "eat raw" gives me the shivering willies. Even so, an infected female, in full funkified regalia, could easy slip a married man a cat poo mickey.

"Interestingly, the effect of infection is different between men and women," according to Dr Boulter. He goes on to say that, "Infected men have lower IQs, achieve a lower level of education and have shorter attention spans. They are also more likely to break rules and take risks, be more independent, more anti-social, suspicious, jealous and morose, and are deemed less attractive to women." Sound like anyone YOU know?

Dr. Boulton goes on to say that, "On the other hand, infected women tend to be more outgoing, friendly, more promiscuous, and are considered more attractive to men compared with non-infected controls." TA DA!

This explains so much. For example, victims of the parasite "...were more likely to take risks". There you go....motorcycles.

Also, we have been wondering for years what it is about some people who are "marital deviants". How can two relatively normal people stoop so low as to break the most sacred vow that they ever take in their entire lives? And how does a man who has the bug find a woman who also is under the influence? Well, apparently the disease is present in pandemic proportions..." About 40 per cent of the world's population is infected with Toxoplasma gondii..." That's a lot of horny men and slutty women. Oh! By the way, don't blame me for those allpellations. It was Boulder himself who said, "In short, it can make men behave like alley cats and women behave like sex kittens".

Oddly enough, the differences are quite unfair. The increased sex drive that the micro-organism causes in men is accompanied by stupidity and risk taking. In women, the studidity levels pretty much stay the same. Even IF "...infected women tend to be more outgoing, friendly, more promiscuous, and are considered more attractive to men compared with non-infected controls.", you would think that they would still have the brains to say no to a married man but maybe that's just how these women take THEIR risks. They don't jump out of as many planes, climb as many mountains or sail as many oceans. You may think that the men perform riskier behavior...but you'd be wrong. Have you ever experienced the life-altering fall-out from a wopig attack? The behavior that seems to get their blood pumping (And this is also the first step in attempting to steal a married man) 1. they suck a lot of dick.


There ARE some positives related to the disease (And it is a disease, disease being defined as anything that puts your body at dis-ease). Just consider this fact. Since the beginning of time betrayed wives have been trying to figure what THEY had done wrong to "push" the husbands away. Well, apparently all they did was get a cat. This is the same germ that causes the problems in pregnant women so it is quite real, I'm not making this up...Ho Ho...I wish that I were. They told us about the pregnancy problem...but they never told us that our men would turn stupid. So, it clearly is NOT our fault, ladies.

You know, we adopted a cat in 1999 and according to my calculations/suspicions, I believe Rick started cheating again in 2001. You know, forget any other talk show...I wouldn't be surprised to see this topic covered by Oprah to the point where I look like the heel for not forgiving him. Only she could evoke that type of reaction from others.

You know...if someone found a way to culture that organism, turn it into a powder and package it...they could make a million bucks in wopig sales alone.

If anyone does that, I want half the profits.

Gotta go play with the grandbabies!

Ciao!

2 Comments:

Blogger Jaded said...

Makes sense...I've always known that some men are just full of shit. I just didn't realize it was cat shit.

September 15, 2007  
Blogger SolarisGal said...

We also got our cat in December of 1999... and his job was to clean out the cat litter box, cause as he'd say, "I dont' want our baby to be infected with Toxoplasma".

Indeed - a sacrifice to the Cause!

September 15, 2007  

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Friday, September 14, 2007

Well, I did it...

...I told my father that I was innocent of the cupcake caper. I explained how it came about that I learned what really happened over 30 years ago when I was accused of stealing 2 cupcakes. His response was, "Well, I'm happy that you've been exonerated."

He's HAPPY? He should feel like a heel. Oh well, I guess I'll let it go this time. But I'll tell you, that cupcake incident impacted me quite deeply. Because of that I have always had a very strong aversion to being falsely accused. Luckily that doesn't happen very often...but when it does, I always think of those cupcakes and I get angry all over again. My nimrod brother is going to hear about this from me...if he hasn't read it here already.

I'm not going to call him right now...he's expecting it. I may just tell the rest of the family. DUH! Of course I should tell the rest of the family! I was so eager to tell my father about my innocence (at his age I can't just assume he'll be there to tell later.) that I forgot about telling the rest of the family!

You know, not only did the cupcake incident make me rather sensitive to false accusations...it also made me err on the side of trusting my kids...no matter how unlikely thier stories were. When my kids would come up with some wild explanation for one transgression or another, I would think, "CUPCAKES!" and believe them.

On top of the cupcake story is the fact that most parents want to believe their kids...I certainly didn't think that mine would lie to me...why would they? I never beat them or hung them from their toes, why would they lie to me? I've just never understood why my kids would do that...but they certainly have.

Apparently, my parents didn't have the urge to believe their kids or they would have believed me when I said that I never touched the cupcakes. I told them then that I wouldn't lie about a couple of cupcakes...I was 14 or 15 years old and I had much bigger and better things to lie about. I would have copped to the cupcakes.

Ah...finally. My name is cleared once and for all.

But, I'll tell you this...if I were my father, I'd watch my cupcakes around me from now on.

:):):)

2 Comments:

Blogger Lara Croft said...

Hey Meg, I found this article that might interest/inspire you.

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2006/12/26/1166895290973.html?from=top5

September 14, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Well Lara...you were quite right young lady!

Meg

September 15, 2007  

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Thursday, September 13, 2007

Uh...

...I can't believe something that I just heard. For some reason, a bunch of stuff from my past has been popping up lately. You know about my old boyfriend...well, tonight I heard about another incident from the 70's.

One night when I was about 15 years old, give or take a year...my mom made two dozen cupcakes. Apparently, she went into her bedroom and when she came out...two of the cupcakes were missing. My parents weren't the type to let the disappearance of 2 cupcakes just slide. They had all of us stand at the island in our kitchen. It was sort of rounded on one side and that's where all six of us were standing at attention.

My dad told us all to look down and close our eyes. Then he said, "I want the guilty party to raise their right hand and no one else needs to know who it is." No one raised their hand. I certainly didn't...I never touched those damned cupcakes.

At some point my father asked my mother, "Who do you think took the cupcakes?"

She responded, "I think Margaret did it."

My father concurred. He said, "I think you're right, look at the pimples on her face."

Apparently, "If she has a zit, you CANNOT acquit!"

I happened to be going through puberty...so naturally I was a cupcake thief. For some reason that I don't remember now, I thought that my little sister had taken the cupcakes. But, my parents found the cupcake wrappers under my bed. I knew that I was innocent...and, as I said, I "knew" that my sister had taken them. So, I tried to get her to admit it. My father walked in just as I was saying, "...just TELL them that you took the cupcakes!..." My father thought I was trying to get her to lie so I got in a LOT of trouble.

Remember...I had done NOTHING wrong.

Over the years I've told my father over and over again that I never took those stupid cupcakes and every time single time he laughs at me and says, "The wrappers were under your bed!" He thinks that I remember it all wrong. I may have forgotten some of what happened...but I remember that I never took the frickin' cupcakes.

Well guess what? My sister never did admit to eating the cupcakes herself. She has denied it for all these years as well.

Tonight I found out why. She didn't take them either.

A little while ago I was walking through the house and I heard my son laugh...and laugh and laugh and laugh. I should tell you that I've told him the cupcake story quite a few times...that incident has stuck with me for over 30 years and I've been trying to clear my name ever since then. It turns out that my son was on the phone with my brother and he was laughing at what Uncle Mike was saying.

The two of them had been comparing stupid things that they had done when they were younger. My son was listening intently to my youngest brother as he told this story:

"Don't tell your mom...but I let her take the blame for some cupcakes that I took once." That's when my kid STARTED laughing.

Then my brother went on to say that he "grabbed the cupcakes and tried to find a place to eat them". He couldn't go through the living room because I was in there with my sisters. He couldn't go to my parent's room because THEY were in it. The one place that he could safely run was into MY bedroom. He went in there and ate the pilfered cupcakes. When he finished eating them, he stuck the wrappers under my bed. And then, since my room was so close to the back door, he ran out that back door and played with Kevin, my brother who is 14 months younger than I.

According to my son, my younger brother remembered much more than I did about the cupcake incident. He remembered that my father interviewed each of us, one at a time...and when he spoke to Kevin, Kevin said, "I know it wasn't Mike because he was outside with me."

Well...it turns out that it was Mike after all.

So...I have been vindicated. It took well over 30 years to find the justice that I so voraciously sought...but I DID find that justice. I haven't spoken to my father about this yet...I heard this all too late to call him tonight. But...I will be speaking to Daddy Dearest the first thing in the morning.

I HAVE ALWAYS MAINTAINED THAT I NEVER TOOK THE CUPCAKES...AND...IF I HAD, I WOULD HAVE SAID SO!

So...after close to 4 decades of assumed culpability, I am to be exonerated, excused and...exculpation awaits...I will receive it all as soon as I speak to my father and I assure you and the planets...I will do so as soon as is socially acceptable.

My nimrod of a brother probably won't tell my father what happened...but with just the right persuasion, I'm sure that I can get my son to repeat the story for D.O.D., (Dear Old Dad). My father will have to face the facts...he falsely accused, condemned and "severely punished" me for something that I DID NOT DO! And he's an attorney!

Yuch, yuch, yuch!!!

Meg

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Good morning!

I woke up trying to remember if last night's conversation with my first adult boyfriend was real. It was. I still can’t get over the fact that he’s been looking for ME all this time! I kind of wish he had found me during one of Rick’s affairs…I might have just left Rick if I had known that this one was still thinking of me. Then again, probably not. I keep forgetting…there was a time when I was madly in love with Rick…but there was also a time when I was nuts about this one!

I suppose that I’ll take a while to get over the excitement of hearing from this guy…what a pleasant surprise! Of course, he doesn’t live anywhere near Atlanta so I doubt we’ll be seeing each other anytime soon but it’s just so nice to chat about the 70’s with someone else who was there…with me!

A few years back I ran into another "old boyfriend"…my high school sweetheart. I had been thinking about him over the years as well and wondering what it would have been like if WE had gotten married. I should have left well enough alone. After running into him and having a chat over coffee…all of my fantasies were shot to hell. I couldn’t imagine him when my life got boring anymore because he was still 140 lbs. and 6’4” tall. As we sat across the table from each other, I couldn’t help but notice how narrow his shoulders were. It didn’t bother me in high school…but it did as an adult. I preferred my memories over the reality 8 days a week. My escape fantasy was shot to hell.

This guy sent pictures so I know what he looks like…his father! How odd to be looking at my old boyfriend and see the man who used to frighten me!

Even after chatting with him for over 3 hours…I keep remembering things that I should have mentioned…like the time his parents went to Europe and we had a party in their house. Someone dropped a cigarette in the couch and started a fire on the cushion. We turned them over and hoped for the best. I forgot to ask if his parents ever discovered that bonehead move of ours. Ooh! I didn’t mention one of the times that I spent the weekend at college with him. He was a pre-med major and he had a dissecting kit and a large bag of marijuana. He had a Saturday class and I stayed in the room with the weed and that dissecting kit…I smoked then…and I took all of the tobacco out of my Virginia Slims and replaced it with the weed. Later on, when they had a dorm party, no one could figure out where the “skunk” smell was coming from. I didn’t mention the time that he…and I STILL can’t believe that he did this…put a green dress on because I asked him to. I don’t even know why I told him to do that but I did. Before he had a chance to take it off, the song, “You Are the Woman That I’ve Always Dreamed Of” came on the radio and I laughed and laughed and laughed. Oh! He was with me when we met Bob Hope...and one time when I crashed Wrigley Field and found the Phillies practicing. We have SO much more talking to do.

We mentioned how we both immediately think of each other when we hear certain songs…funny, we’ve been remembering each other over the same songs. It’s so nice to know that there IS someone else thinking about me that I was totally unaware of. Like that list I posted a couple of posts down says, “Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.” He said that he’s been thinking about me before he went to sleep for years. This is just too wild! I am still in utter shock. This is going to be one of those things that I remember for the rest of my life…and I’ll smile every time I do so.

One last thing…this guy is one of the last people around who calls me Margie. That’s what I went by in high school. My best friend and her family call me Margie and anyone else I run into from high school calls me Margie. His voice hasn’t changed a bit and if I closed my eyes and listened to him call me Margie and then continue speaking…I could almost take myself back to 1975 or 76.

You know…it just occurred to me that I mentioned this guy briefly the other day…actually I more or less referred to him:

“…I just got over being sad when I heard my first fiancé’s song from when he was with his previous girlfriend…Happy Together…”

Well…this is the one I was talking about when I wrote that. We also had “Wouldn’t it Be Nice” by the Beach Boys as one of "our songs". Remember the line, “Wouldn’t it be nice if we were older, then we wouldn’t have to wait so long...”? Well, we sure the heck are older…and I don’t think that I’d make him wait very long at all.

Our REAL song...if we had to pin it down was, "Love Will Keep Us Together." Ha. It never seems to...does it? But...I would just love to chat over a glass of wine instead of our usual coffee at Denny's.

Alas, logistics being what they are…damn it.

Meg

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Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Well…

…what do you know about this? I went to my email account and saw an email from Classmates.com that said I had two messages waiting for me. I went straight to them and I was utterly astonished. They were both from my first real love…the one who bought me a “pre-engagement ring”…whatever the heck those things were. We were together for 2 years and when we broke up, I was entirely brokenhearted.

This guy is so special to me that I couldn’t give out any identifying information regarding him…but I am going to tell you guys things that couldn’t possibly distinguish him from a thousand other men around America. Besides…his identity couldn’t add to the story…our relationship was more than enough to be interesting.

First of all, imagine my shock when I saw that the emails were from him! I haven’t spoken to him in decades. His email had his phone numbers in it and a request for me to call him. I didn’t hesitate…I grabbed my phone and called him that very moment. And then, after all this time…we spoke for over 3 hours without so much as one break in the conversation. I had to pee really, really quietly.

We talked about his cars…the music we listened to…the trouble that we got into…the time he was being chased by a cop and he beat a freight train and turned over the tracks before the cops got there. He was only speeding…no real reason for that except youth…I guess.

He brought up the time that I snuck into his room after our date. I was afraid of his parents so when he wanted to go wake them up to tell them he was home…I talked him out of it…let sleeping dogs lie was my thinking at the time. Well, of course, when he didn’t wake his parents up, they woke up by themselves and peeked into his room. I was lying on my back, in between my boyfriend and the wall…wearing a bra that was NOT covered by the blankets. I had my pants on…but I never got a chance to prove it. Anyway, I thought that if I laid there really still, like I wasn’t there…he wouldn’t see me. Instead, I heard him shout, “Sarah!” (Not his wife's real name.)

To make a long story short…they called my parents who told them to bring me home and they did. It was a long and quiet ride back to my house…his father drove.

I told him about how many times I had wanted to get in touch with him (and I could have…I knew his name, profession and general area.) I just didn’t want to disrupt his life. I had no way of knowing that he had been searching for me on and off for years…and when he found me on Classmates. COM…he emailed me through that.

He told me all of the things that he had been doing to try to find me over the years and he told me that he was seriously considering a private investigator. I was blown away! I said, “I had no idea that I was P.I. worthy!”

We discussed the music that we used to listen to ( Afternoon Delight...:) ), the restaurants we used to go to and the movies that we saw. I adored speaking to him. He actually sounded exactly the same as he did when I was dating him. He said that I did, too. We spoke about his father and my mother who had passed away, our brothers and sisters and friends. AND…we have so much more to talk about.

He had to go because he has to get up early in the morning but he assured me that he would call me back…soon! I’m going to fall asleep with a smile on my face…I told him that. And he told me that he would be doing the same.

Now I’m going to bed to smile about some lovely memories and how sweet it was to hear from him after all these years.

:):):)

2 Comments:

Blogger awannabe said...

I haven't read your blog much. I don't know if you're married. But I found my 1st love on classmates last year and am married. It has been a heartwrenching bumpy ride...

October 06, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

I'm not sure how to take that but the guy is a long, long way away from me and I'm heading to LA so I'll be gone for a long time. I'm safe for now.

Thanks for taking the time to write.

Meg

October 06, 2007  

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