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Monday, February 28, 2005

Hey,

What's going on here? There is an entire conversation going on in the comments section and it has nothing to do with me. What's up with that? This is my blog I tell you, mine. I feel as though my blog is turning against me. Alas, my final respite has vanished into the air. Oh well.

So, I am thinking about going out and doing the picture thing I spoke of earlier but it is really cold out there and I haven't quite figured out where to go.

Oh, Mr. Last Saturday...I got him. Now, keep in mind that the other day he told me he would call and he even made me apologize for underestimating him. OK. I spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to figure that one out, had to get answers from Laszlo in Hungary, and I wasted your valuable reading time. So, I had to know. And this is what I came up with. I called him to invite him over.

"Tonight?" he queried.

"Oh, anytime, you name it."

I listened to him rolling up his tongue for a moment and then I said, "Just call when you figure out what is good for you." He jumped on the opportunity to get rid of me. There. I closed another case.

Some of the side bar conversations are about when a kid should leave home. My Dad said, "18 and out." I believed him. Being the oldest, and the first one to turn 18...I left. And check this out...nobody else left for years. It was a bluff, he never meant it. I was just foolish enough to take him seriously. I didn't think we had to wait for the folks to literally toss us out on our cans.

Being a mother, I find it a little bit more complicated than setting a date. I think each kid is different and as long as they have a plan and are working towards it, they will be fine.

As a parent, you have one job and that is to raise a productive member of society. Some of the kids might need a little longer than others to accomplish that. As long as they are working towards their goals, I don't see a problem with keeping them at home a little longer. I wouldn't make it too pleasant for them...you don't want them to get really comfortable. They most certainly should pay. And don't be cheap, let it hurt a little. Even if you save it for when they do get out on their own. Somewhere in their minds you want them to think, "I could rent my own place for a little more than this! And I would have my freedom, I'm outta here first chance I get."

As to having children at an older age, if you are healthy enough to get pregnant at 46, God bless you. You will find the energy, it will build up as they learn to move. But sleep...forget it. But then again...older women need less sleep so there ya go!

Damn, I am bored. Well, let me see if I can come up with somebody to do.

Meg

3 Comments:

Blogger That Weird Guy said...

Worry not, we haven't forgotten about you or attempted a blog mutiny. You just bring up some interesting topics that foster conversation and occasional debate. I think that's great, and it's why I come back and read. :-)

It's funny, I did the same thing at 18, although I was an only child. My mom said you are either out at 18 or you go to college. I got a job, got into the community college, and asked her how much I could rent my room for. She said she was only kidding and let me stay for free while I was in school. LOL

That, of course, wasn't what I meant by the "18 years" conversation. I just meant that someone shouldn't have kids if they were going to be unable to deal with them 5,10,15 years later as there is a lot of work and drama to deal with throughout their childhood and adolescence.

Purple Hat's mother already knows this (better than me), having raised a self-sufficient mother of her own. My statement was clearly not aimed at her as much as giving an opinion on the late parenthood trend going on right now.

Late in life or not, there is a portion of our society having children as fashion accessories and that disturbs me. Those children are raised on video games and TV because their parents grow weary of dealing with them once the novelty wears off.

February 28, 2005  
Blogger László said...

Good, you got rid of him.
I chose the same, when I went to university I moved out and made regular visits 2-3 times a month to rob my parent's fridge. I have a good job now, live alone (ok, with gf sometimes) and still have the occasional moves on their fridge. Come on, they love it whenever I show up! But for mum, I do the shopping with her which is a huge sacrifice! It can take up to 3-4 hours for her! And my girlfriend shows the same symptoms. I'm doomed. But as HAGs always do, I am willing to spend that time in the damn supermarket, holding onto that huge shopping-car and thinking of the simplicity of being a catholic priest.

February 28, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Laszlo,

Yeah you are right, we do love it when the wee munchkins come a-munchin'. As long as they don't walk in on me whilst I am showering, or doing any of the other things I do naked, I love it when they come home. I love to feed them, I hate to let them go home without leftovers...YIKES!!!! I am my GRANDMOTHER!


Meg

March 01, 2005  

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...despite what my daughters father said to me: "You will never amount to anything..."


I wonder, do they teach that in some mean and nasty school? It is such an oft said phrase. And just when you feel like you have amounted to nothing, you are expected to go out and make it alone. What a bitch.

4 Comments:

Blogger Purple Hat said...

It worries me how some men can just talk to the mother of their child like that. I used to always blame myself when he told me that kind of stuff. (I wish someone would have slapped me in the face then)But, I know his mother, and she is not mean at all. Maybe it is because his father was like that to his mom, and left him at an early age. What is strange is that he never really met his own dad.The last time his father seen him, he was too little to even talk or walk, but his mom would later tell me that he ended up acting exactly like his father. Genes? (If that is the case, SCARY!! He is expecting a boy...)

February 28, 2005  
Blogger That Weird Guy said...

I don't buy into that "my father did it to me" crap. Every man is his own man and he makes what he can be whatever kind of man he chooses.

Obviously, we only have so much control over how much money we make or how we look, but the most important thing (character) is all ours to fashion for ourselves.

When I was younger, I bought into that mentality. I grew up thinking that I should never have children because I'd be destined to be a bad father because of my father.

I've met great fathers who had terrible fathers of their own. Those guys just made the conscious decision to be better men and not repeat those mistakes.

Those couple of guys showed me that the "my father did x to me" excuse is just an excuse that bad fathers use to explain their inexcusable actions.

If I remarry and have a stable home life, I'd be happy to have children now because I know that I wouldn't be anything like my father. I'm sure I'd make mistakes, but I wouldn't ignore or abandon a child. That's the worst excuse for parenting there is.

I truly feel sorry for his soon-to-be boy. His mother may not be as strong or capable as you have been, and the boy will suffer for it when jackass Inevitably moves on.

February 28, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

You know, the bad father thing isn't an excuse, it truly is the reasoning behind some of it. Not because you can blame it on the last father...just because fathers in general are so important to the development of some aspect of manhood. If they are absent or just plain jerks, the kid learns either nothing, in which case he gets his role model from Lord knows where or from the jerk father who teaches him how to act like that. Yes, bad Dads have produced wonderful kids and vice versa. You can't argue that the prisons are 90% full of people who were raised without father figures in their lives. Some people, like Guy, are smart enough to look around, take everything in and form opinions and values. Far too many of us have to do that. It can be difficult while the society itself is changing so rapidly. Oh well.

Meg

February 28, 2005  
Blogger That Weird Guy said...

Those are good points, Meg. I think you are correct that there is a correlation between a bad/missing father and having a harder time adjusting and working in relationships. I accept that not all men will spend the time and energy to work out this stuff.

I do, however, have issue with any man who uses it as an excuse. To me, if he is conscious of the issue, and he has kids, then he have no excuse for not getting the help he needs to work through it. He should get the help for himself anyway, but to have kids without getting the help is criminal.

I didn't figure out all this by myself. I got some help after figuring out my ex-wife's serial monogomy was just like my Dad's. How's that for the twist? I didn't treat women like my Dad did, I found a woman who would treat me that way. LOL

February 28, 2005  

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You know, it appears as though I have been a little rough on men lately. That was pointed out to be by a man, naturally. I certainly didn’t mean to do that. It’s just that I am a woman and when I bitch, it will usually be about men. But in general, I prefer them to most women.

I don’t want to insult women but I don’t mind saying that, in general, we have the power to be more cruel than any man could ever be. Not all of us take advantage of that power, but far too many do.

I am referring to the women that, for no good reason, keep their kids from the fathers. (I know some men do this as well, so don’t get too upset.)

A woman may not agree with a man or anything he does in the child rearing category, but they don’t have to. The father still has a right to see his children. And of course I don’t mean child abusers, that is totally different. But if the abuse is only in your head or in your mouth when you call DFACS, you are a nut.

I have seen far too many women say whatever they needed to say and employ whatever means necessary to keep a father away from his child. Friends I would have never expected this from have done it. Rick’s ex did it. Now, he sucked as a husband and he was very violent toward ME, but he never hit his kids, not even when his son tried to burn the house down. He loves his kids.

It is amazing how a person can take a loving relationship between a father and child and totally trash it to pieces. These people lie to the kids, to the police, the judges, anybody who will listen. And in doing so, they take time away from children who may truly be being abused. So, that kind of makes them an accomplice in the abuse that goes on while the caseworkers are all attending to false claims.

A loving mother wants her children to be surrounded by as many people who love them as possible. When you use the children as weapons to hurt the other parent with, you are not at all a loving parent. You are far from it.

Right now there is a nut case in Paulding County Georgia who is doing this very thing. The father started out smart enough to record his visits with his daughter until the mother went out of her way to make him feel guilty about that. As soon as he took the camera away, the lies and the fake 911 calls started.

I always wonder about the mother’s family. Aren’t they decent enough to at least TALK to the nuts and try to get them to see that they are being ridiculous? Apparently, they believe whatever the mother tells them. If my daughter ever did anything like this, I would smack the tar out of her.

If there is a family that has gotten along just fine up until a divorce happens, why would someone believe that a member of that fine family would all of a sudden become something they had never been before? It doesn’t make any sense and it doesn’t ever happen. The man who the nut married is still the same man, he didn’t all of a sudden decide to beat up the child he loved so much just because there was a divorce. I guess there may, somewhere in the world, be a man who does change completely after a divorce, but it would generally be a change towards the wife, not the kids.

As baffled as I am at the parents who disappear into that good night...I am more so by parents who teach their children to hate, fear and lie about the other parent. A parent who does this kind of thing would do the kid a favor by disappearing.

Once again, this is a case of numbers, more women do this than men. I am sure there are men who are just as guilty of this and they are just as disgusting. And, being a woman, when I complain, it will come out as though I have a thing against men. I don’t. But I do have a thing against people who care so little about their children that they steal a loving parent from them. Not only have they stolen that parent, they have stolen that parent’s family as well. What do you call it when you steal a kid away from a parent? And then the kid ends up without an entire half of his/her family and most likely will grow up like their mother, bitter, hateful and unaware of how wonderful life can be when you have two loving parents who put the children first.

20 Comments:

Blogger That Weird Guy said...

Fair enough. I don't think you're all that tough on men. You complain about them sometimes, like I complain about women sometimes. It all stems from not totally understanding the opposite sex, and some bad experiences.

I admit that there are times where I think about posting defensively, but I realize that I don't necessarily have anything constructive to say and that you are just venting. I do share when I think I have something constructive to say, though, and I'm always willint to honestly answer a question. :-)

February 28, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My daughter's dad doesnt try to see her. Really, he doesnt see anyone. Nobody really knows where he is at any given time. That being said, I still do take her to see his mother and his sister, and his grandfather. So, even though he can see her anythime he wished, but doesnt, she still knows her other half of her family.

By the way, how old would you say is too old to have a baby? I am 24, I am an only child. My mother is 46, she will be 47 in Oct. I went to visit yesterday, and she confided in me that she hasnt had a "visit from aunt flow" in about 3 weeks. She thinks she is either pregnant, or it is Menopause...but she is scared it is pregnancy. She does not believe in abortion, but she is afraid that people will think she is too old to have a baby, and they might laugh at her.........I think she is crazy!!

February 28, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Hi Guy!

Nice to see you. Thanks for the kind words, but I wouldn't mind if you wanted to vent yourself, especially if something I say makes you feel the slightest need to be defensive.

And how old is too old to have a baby? I think that the maker of us all knows exectly what he/she is doing. If a woman gets pregnant, she is obviously not too old! Your Mom should not worry a hoot about what other people say. Personally, I think it is weirder to have only one kid than to have one at the decrepid old age of 46. How nice for her! Not only is she a very lucky women to have a child at her age, but she has a built in babysitter as well. Nowadays, people are having kids older and older so even if she is concerned, she is really about the norm now. And, one other thing...there is nothing like running around after a little one to keep you feeling younger. I hope she is as happy as a woman in her condition should be! Now I think that even I would be disappointed if she isn't preggers. Please let me know!

Meg

February 28, 2005  
Blogger That Weird Guy said...

Meg:

Thanks. I will vent, but only if it's something more insightful than "I'm a guy, and I'm not a big, smelly liar." LOL

Anonymous,

The only time I think that one is too old to have a baby is when one is unable to put in 18 years of child raising. After that, you hopefully only have to help out occasionally? ;-)

If your mom wants to have another child, than good for her. Screw what other people think.

I'd encourage her to get checked out by her doctor early and find out what precautions she needs to take as soon as possible, however. There are special health considerations for a pregnant woman over 35.

February 28, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you both for your words. I will be sure to keep you posted, Meg.

RS

(P.S.-How do you get a name on this thing so I wont be "anonymous" anymore?)

February 28, 2005  
Blogger László said...

18 years to raise a child? I find this period very short. (László who finally signed up to blogger)

February 28, 2005  
Blogger That Weird Guy said...

I created a Blogger account to get a name.

If you choose the "Blogger" option in the "Choose an identity" part of the post page, you'll see a link below the login/password boxes named "Sign up here". If you click that, it'll let you create a free Blogger account.

I don't have a blog because I don't think I have anything that exciting to say and I don't think I'd update it enough to be relevant... but the account gives me a persona to comment on the few I read. :)

February 28, 2005  
Blogger That Weird Guy said...

soviet:

By 18 years, I mean the time that you are responsible for the child's growth and development under your roof.

I'm not sure what it's like in Hungary, but in the US it's the norm for kids to move out (for college or their life) at 18. Some stay longer, but those kids tend to be looked down upon by our society. When you hear women complain or joke that a guy "lives in his parents basement", those men over 18 still living at home are who they are referring to.

Hence my comment "After that, you hopefully only have to help out occasionally?" If you did things right in the first 18 years, you hopefully only need to be there for advice (and maybe some college tuition money) after that. :-)

February 28, 2005  
Blogger László said...

I did understand what you meant, but still I find this kind of approach a little bit heartless...18 is not enough. I still love the comfort my mother gives me, emotional and food of course;). I don't live with them, but still...it's just good to have them, it's just good.
Also, in my opinion parents should see their grandchildren. I mean born.

February 28, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How come every name I chose to use as a "User Name" says "Sorry this user name is not available." what am I supposed to put if It wont let me use anything?

February 28, 2005  
Blogger László said...

Try StalinandLeninandalsoZinovyev ..I have a feeling that it is still available. ;)

February 28, 2005  
Blogger That Weird Guy said...

You just have to keep trying names until you find one that someone else doesn't have. thatweirdguy wasn't my first choice, but it seems fitting now. LOL

By the way, you can change your display name from your login name in your profile after you create the account. My login doesn't have spaces in it like the name you see displayed. :-)

Soviet:
You're right about 18 not being the emotional support cutoff. But if you've done a good job raising your kids, they will be able to get on with their daily lives without constant supervision from you. They are also old enough to either be in college or taking care of business for themselves.

My 18 year old comment is more that I've seen some people who have kids at an older age and they have a 10 year old when they are 55 and don't spend any time with the kid. They just feel too old to deal with the noise and the hassles. If you can't deal with 18 years of someone underfoot, you are too old to have kids.

February 28, 2005  
Blogger László said...

Does a dog count?

February 28, 2005  
Anonymous Purple Hat said...

I give up on getting a blog account. I started, and FINALLY got a name that works, but they want me to do a blog, and I do not really want to. I just like to post my comments now and then.

February 28, 2005  
Blogger That Weird Guy said...

Blogger.com sets up a blog that you don't have to use. I don't use mine. :)

But it looks like you've found a way to list yourself as something other than anonymous anyway. That was the goal, right, so success is yours. :-D

February 28, 2005  
Blogger Purple Hat said...

I moved out when I was 18, RIGHT after I graduated High School. Been on my own since. Had a daughter at 20, never once used welfare, or any kind of assistance. Took me a long time to get a nice place to live, but I did it. Own my own car (96' Lumina) pay my own bills, and get my daughter everything she wants. I am not trying to sound all holier than thou, but I just like to toot my own horn now and then.
I am proud of myself, I did it by meself, despite what my daughters father said to me: "You will never amount to anything. You will always be looking to a handout. I will be able to support our daughter better than you." But when I see him with his pregnant fiance, driving her mom's car, spending their food stamps, I just smile and tell him hello. Underneath, I am saying, "You are doing exactly how well you thought I would be doing." I think he tried to curse me, and ended up suffering it himself. Ironic.....

February 28, 2005  
Blogger That Weird Guy said...

Rock on, Purple Hat. That's awsome!

I was thinking that your ex sounded like a loser when you described what he said to you.

Funny that he proves that to be true in his subsequent actions ("I see him with his pregnant fiance, driving her mom's car, spending their food stamps"). :-)

From what you've said earlier, it sounds like he's not even capable of emotional support of his daughter. What made him think he'd be capable of anything else?

February 28, 2005  
Blogger Purple Hat said...

Because according to him, he is invincible. Mr. Know it all do it all. (And did, just not in a nice way.)hahahaha!!

I think women like Meg and I are underestimated. Our ex's made us feel so low, and kicked us when we were down. But despite how rough it was, we are here to talk about it and learn from it.

Are you there Meg? You are invincible!!! ROCK ON!!!

February 28, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

LOL, I thought you guys forgot about me:)

I was sad when I signed on and you made that stop, thank you. I'm glad you found a way to name yourself, it really gives a person a "body" online. I don't know why but it does.

Meg

February 28, 2005  
Blogger Anne Arky said...

Meg,
I have to agree with you that it is a shame women use their kids as weapons against their ex-husbands. The reason more women do this than men is probably because more women are the custodial parents.
One of the best examples of how NOT to do this was given to me by my ex-sister-in-law. She and my brother were married in a "have-to" case when shotgun weddings were still the norm, and they were both way too immature to sustain a marriage. However, after the divorce, she did some growing up, and as of now, some thirty years after the fact, I haven't seen a lot of signs of my brother's having done so. My niece (their daughter) was not quite two years old when they got divorced, and she is now 31; her father has not contributed a nickel to her support since the divorce.
When my niece was 14, her mother and I were talking and she told me that she had made up her mind that no matter what he did or didn't do, she was never going to badmouth him to her daughter, because her mother had done that when they (her parents) got divorced, and she (my sister-in-law) did not have a relationship with her own father until three years before he died -- all those years wasted. She said that if her daughter asked her a question, she would answer it honestly, without rancor (e.g., "Because that's the way he is, honey" vs. "Because he's a sorry-assed, good-for-nothing son of a bitch, honey"). As far as I can tell, no matter what kind of provocation he gave her, she was true to her word and has never badmouthed my brother to her daughter in any way, shape or form. For my money, she deserves at least canonization, if not sanctification.
My brother? He deserves a swift kick in the pants. When I told him he needed at least to call and/or visit his then-14-year-old daughter (since it was obvious he had no intention of supporting her), he whined, "Well, she never sends me a birthday card or Father's Day card." I asked him what he'd done to deserve either one and told him he should try to figure out which one of them was the child and which one was the adult, and if he figured it out, I hoped he'd let me know, because the lines were starting to blur significantly.
Sorry this is so long. Anyway, I'm glad you started this blog, because it's been interesting watching the on-going evolution. Keep up the good work.

March 01, 2005  

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Hey there...

I just realized that it took a Hungarian man to be honest and informative. Are you American men going to let that happen???? I know that competition isn't as politically correct as it used to be but c'mon, you can't let us women think that we need to go to The New Europe to find a guy.

I can hear a bunch of you saying, "Go ahead, go to Hungary to find men!" But it may not be that simple. What if word got out that Hungarian men were honest? THEY might decide to start coming over here and then what will you do? Can you see it? You are sitting there trying to be all suave and debonair and all of a sudden, in walks Laszlo with all his honesty. All the women would flock around him because they know that he is an honest guy. He seems to have the language thing down (a little too well, I admit) but if those Hungarians get the idea that American women are jonesing for honest men, hell, they might just see a target rich environment and aspire to come here and take away all the decent women.

I'd do Laszlo myself (that is, of course, if he isn't too short) if he came over just for the honesty thing alone. I LOVE Budapest.

You know, you would think that you guys would at least try the honesty thing, even if it were just a ploy. (Yes, Marc, I know there ARE some honest men and some dishonest women, just play with me here.)

(And competition...alas, I miss thee. Did you know that most competitive female swimmers of about 14 years of age can beat the times that Johnny Weissmuller won medals with? That is what competition did for us. Now we don't ever want the kids to compete, there can't be any perceived "losers".)

Anyway, I just wanted to see if you guys would accept this challenge. But fear not, I love you all and wouldn't change a hair on your heads (or in your ears, wherever you grow it) and I am still waiting to find one of my own. I am NOT taking a break from that....I never have and I never shall.


I must thank Laszlo again, he really gave me an insightful answer and that is exactly what I was looking for. Now, any questions?

Meg

3 Comments:

Anonymous László said...

You overestimate Hungary. Maybe it's only the paprika. It can make you rethink everything you have in your head...literally.
You love Budapest? Been here or you just wanted to flatter?

We, aka known as Hungarian Average Guys (HAGs from now on) have the same idiotism just as anyone else. For example I had the period, when I had been sitting in front of the TV set, watching "Superbowl" (untranslatable sequence) and as I stretched out for my beer can I had been producing skidmarks on my underwear. But times change and I grew up.
Of course we don't have Superbowl and HAGs never drink beer from a can, but otherwise it is based on a true story.

Funny, you have mentioned female swimmers. We have the bestestest one, the Queen of the pool, Krisztina Egerszegi and she was just 14 when she defeated those Eastern German pseudo-female swimmers in 1988. I was 10 years old by then. But, hey! I am at least tall! :)

I am thinking of creating a blog, but I must admit I am a lazy writer and Hungarian letters can be terribly evil when it comes to publishing. Also, who wants to read some hectic stuff?

February 28, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Laszlo,


OK, you got me. I have never been to Budapest but they showed it on a soap opera I used to watch and it SEEMED lovely.
I am quite sure that you HAGs are just as good, bad, ugly, handsome, quirky and skid mark ridden as the American men. I was just putting forth my "hectic" brain and the stuff it comes up with.
Yes, oddly enough, people DO read the blogs and somewhere, there is a reader for every blogger out there. So, do it...you have nothing to lose. Unless of course you are dumb enough to use your real name like I did.
And even then, it is still fun. I had a guy check me out (literally) at the grocery store and when he saw the name on my credit card, he said, "Have you ever gone by Meg?" (My name is Margaret) When I smiled, he said, "You're her!You're Meg!!!" He actually wanted my autograph which I found odd. He and another guy both said I should post more pictures and I am going to. As soon as I can find someone to hold the camera and push the button. Actually, that is my chore for the evening, I am going to go to a few different places and have strangers take my picture doing really weird things. So, hopefully, tomorrow, you will be able to see too many pictures of me.

See ya!
Meg

PS How tall are you?

February 28, 2005  
Anonymous László said...

190 cm. I won't convert it to your Martian system. ;)
I am creating this blog thing, terrible I am so maximalist (marxist by the way) that I got stuck into the template-thing.

February 28, 2005  

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Oh well, what shall I say? Blame the gene, there has to be some jerkgene pool somewhere over here.You know, we guys all have a strange desire to call without any good reason AND we expect you to be happy whenever we do! Don't look for reasons, it's at the corner of our Y-chromosome.Ok, seriously? When I call a woman back and I really want to talk to her then I'm into it. I mean the talking and yes, other things as well...Calling back (emphasis is on "back" now) a woman without a real topic or whatever? Come on, see the signs! :) You had a nice time together, he shaved his beard but he is kinda speechless when you meet accidentially? He has no idea what to do with your relationship;I have been in situations like that and I must admit I don't remember having big thoughts back then. AND that's the sign. Seeing a thoughtless guy? ;)Dream: Once, I repeat, once I could manage one dream. I ended up cruising in a construction site, was like playing a beta version of a shooter game, without any goals to accomplish. Felt like a stupid.To that yak-anonymous: She started it few months ago, if she still has it let's say in 2015 then she may change the blog title to Rivorcing Dick but now it is refreshing and I like it.By the way, isn't yak an animal or something?


Now I'm not sure if I am dreaming. I THINK I just woke up and sat at the computer with a cup of coffee. Then, I received an honest, informative answer from a man. Ahhhh, talk about refreshing. I get it dude! Thank you soooo much! And what have we learned here ladies?

I learned that I was right not to sleep with this guy even after all the lovely (perfect) things he said. Damn...that was close. And you know, it has been since September 9th, 2005 for me. I almost did it. It was REALLY close.

So, if there is anyone left out there who thinks that the guy you just met is worth going to bed with, let me tell you that I am no fool and this one had me feeling guilty about not sleeping with him. Not because of anything he said to push it, just that I was thinking that this was the right one to give it up to.

Whew.

And maybe he was serious that night. Maybe he was a lot of things but he didn't call all week and if he didn't think enough about me to call, (like the honest, informative guy said) he didn't think enough at all. Cool.

Next!

Meg

Oh, and thanks for coming to my defense. Yeah, when the divorce is over, I will give it an appropriate amount of time and then I WILL change the name to something like "Rick? Been there, done that".

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Meg, When do you think a person should tell another person that they have an STD?

March 02, 2005  

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Sunday, February 27, 2005

Ya’ll listen to this shit...

Earlier today I laid down on my couch to take a nap when all of a sudden a huge crashing sound came from the bedroom side of the house. The telephone was on the coffee table so I picked it up and dialed 911 as I was running toward the noise. The 911 lady knew the address so I sort of just threw the phone because I could hear somebody screaming. The sounds were all coming from my son’s room so I ran in and found a fire engine red Mercedes in the bedroom. The ENTIRE car was right there in the bedroom!

The first thing I did was to help the lady out of the car as the passenger door was closest. She was beautiful and dressed to the nines. I’ve never seen so many diamonds on one woman outside of the royal family. She was banged up and bleeding from a gash over her left eye but she seemed to be OK otherwise and was trying, as though she were panicked, to get out.

As I helped her out of the car, she stumbled a few times but then she got her footing and ran out of the room, obviously looking for the nearest exit. She was screaming and I was worried about the driver so I let her go. I wasn’t really in the mood to chase her anyway.

The driver was huge, like Arnold what’s-his-face in California. He was dressed like something out of a James Bond movie, he was wearing a CHARTREUSE turtle-neck. As I tried to help the driver out of the car, I noticed he was looking around for something. I smelled something funny (looking back, it was probably oil or exhaust but I didn’t really have the time to analyze the smell, it all happened so quickly) and I was afraid the car would blow up so I was saying...”Let’s just get out of here!”

He said, “Not until I find my gun!!!!”

So, I kinda thought, “Screw him.“ and as I turned to run, I specifically remember hoping that the woman had cleared a path for me when all of a sudden the guy grabbed me from behind and threw me against the wall. He pointed the gun at me and said I was his hostage. I was listening to him and everything got really quiet. Then, at the exact same moment, we both heard the 911 lady. The phone was on the floor in the hallway (and we were both in the hallway at this point, as well) and we could both hear the lady saying that the police were on their way. He looked at me, apparently changed his mind and ran down the hallway and out the door.

I heard the police cars screeching to a halt before the guy really had time to get to the end of my property. I ran to the front door to see if the guy got away when all of a sudden, the phone rang and woke me up.

I hate that, don’t you? I can never go back and finish the dream. I always just wonder. Sometimes I make up my own ending, the hell with the dream people.

Meg

4 Comments:

Blogger Steve Johnson said...

You had me going.

February 28, 2005  
Anonymous John said...

You had me until the part about the large driver with the turtleneck.

February 28, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Steve,

Sorry. I couldn't help myself.

John,

You believed the mercerdes was in the bedroom but a large guy with a turtle neck made you doubt me? Shame. But...just for the heck of it, he will no longer be in my dreams.

Meg

February 28, 2005  
Blogger That Weird Guy said...

Damn, woman. You scared the hell out of me. I guess I'm just not used to reading fiction on your blog. :-)

I know someone who had a car drive into their bedroom, so that wasn't so far fetched to me.

February 28, 2005  

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so what's the supposed to do? you yak and rag on guys who call you all the time. now you're ragging on this guy because he didn't call enough. maybe he lied because he just didn't know how to read you and didn't know what else to say. is it possible that at this point in your life NO man will ever be able to suit you? maybe you should take a little break or just score with some nearly anonymous guy just clear the cobwebs out of your head.sign me bewildered

Listen, I NEVER ragged on guys who called too much...I just said that one of red flags in the beginning of a relationship was a person who called EVERY SINGLE day and usually more than once a day. That, taken together with a bunch of other signs is usually a clue that something is wrong with a person, guy or girl.

And I never said he didn’t call ENOUGH, he didn’t call at all! And even THAT I don’t have a problem with. I was wondering WHY he was continuing to show interest. He didn’t have to, he could have walked away but instead he went out of his way to stay near me and continue the conversation. And besides ALL of that, he NEVER read the blog so he wouldn’t have had a chance to read anything about what I said earlier regarding the “guy who calls too much”. So, if he is confused, it has nothing to do with me.

And “take a break”? Take a break from what? Sitting in my house every night worrying about how I am going to pay the bills? Yeah, I should take a break from that. And what the heck does “score with a nearly anonymous guy” mean? Should I look for a masked man?

This is why I have trashed some of the comments. They are written by some anonymous freaks who have no clue of what they speak. But today I am in just enough pain to be a little cranky so I felt the intense need to respond to this anonymous person.

My motives are plain to see, I have clearly defined them in this blog. I do not put forth effort in some lame attempt to hurt another persons’ feelings. (That is the OTHER reason I trash comments, some people are rude to the other comment-ers. I wouldn’t allow a guest in my house to insult another guest and I won’t allow it here either.) So, my little angry freak, what are YOUR motives? I think it is pretty obvious, I just thought that perhaps you could use the time to reflect on the answer yourself.

I have friends I don’t discuss because they know how to get here and once you know the address of this blog, you are probably not going to read about yourself on it.

Have a lovely evening,

Meg

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Friday, February 25, 2005

I am having a loverly day. I was browsing online for ways to make extra money, I went to Craigs List to see what they had. This is pretty much it:


A note on compensation: at the moment we are not offering any.


...stable of science writers who make contributions on a monthly basis, please contact us with a note and an attached short writing sample (~1000 words). This will begin as an unpaid position...


looking for a partner to write and share ideas with.


No pay... but venting is healthy no matter which party you favor.


**Note: This is a call for unpaid, freelance submissions.**



There were some that spoke of compensation:


Give us your wit and we'll give you our money! Five bucks for every one of your ideas that sells.


Isn’t that charming? They will pay me an entire fin for my wit. Hell, I would rather just be sarcastic towards them for free. Some ads actually had the nerve to ask for MY money. The following ad was listed amongst “Writer Gigs” on Craigslist:


Beat the system and place a $20 bet now. If anything, it will make the show more fun to watch ;)


The logic there was, if you are a writer, you must know about such things so you can “Make cash quickly!” by wagering on the Academy Awards. (I never watch that show. I rarely go to movies because I am night blind. Once I have to go to the bathroom, the movie is pretty much over as I cannot find my seat again.)


I also advertised for a room-mate. What a delight that has been. I mentioned Payton, my boxer, to one guy. I told him that I got the dog because I was kinda scared of being alone. He said, and I QUOTE, “The dog is nice. But...there is nothing like the sound of a Colt 45 revolver cocking with a round in the chamber to get rid of unwanted company.”


“Next!”


I told him about the dog, he couldn’t have mentioned the guns? I guess he did, but he should have “felt me out” about that one before just tossing it into the conversation. He asked me a thousand questions and raised every red flag there was to raise, to say the very least. But he never asked me this question, “How much?”

I emailed to him that I was “unnerved” by the fact that he didn’t ask how much. He replied thusly:


OK, how much? I thought it would be a bargain because we were to share duties. Was I mistaken?



Share duties? What the hell does that mean? He offered to cook for me in one email. I guess he thought I was advertising a chef or some form of live-in help. But, no, I wouldn’t give up my privacy for some whacked out cook with a pistol. I don’t want a new human. They require far too much time and effort. I just wanted help paying the bills. But the room-mates don’t want to pay and neither do the jobs. I give up.


Meg

3 Comments:

Blogger That Weird Guy said...

That's why I could never live with roommates (unless I had to, of course). There are just too many scary people out there.

February 25, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Guy,

So, aren't there any normal people out there? This is far too creepy. The problem I was trying to fix is just getting wierder and wierder.

Meg

February 26, 2005  
Anonymous László said...

Hi, I'm from Hungary. I have never seen a divorce-blog (maybe there wasn't any before? Who knows with you, Americans ;)) First I just ran over it, but then I came back. (I like the template you chose, btw.)
After reading for a while, I have decided to put it into my favs.
Take care of yourself and don't let anything nor anyone harm you in any way.

László, Hungary

February 27, 2005  

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Thursday, February 24, 2005

Well. What was the point I was going to make? Damn it. I forgot. Something about guys being nice. Yeah, it is feasible. I’m pretty much going on faith there. Nice, yeah, honest, hhmmm. Not for any length of time. Most of us, women or men, are going to gild the lily now and again.

Yeah, I think it’s fair to say we are all liars. We just vary in degree. I think most men would be as amazed as I am at the best of them. Damn, they are good. You WOULD NOT BELIEVE what lengths some men would go to. Maybe you would, I don’t know. People are either honest or dishonest deep inside. Rick was a liar to the core, he would lie before he gave it any thought. And once the lie was out there, he wasn’t taking it back. That’s his story and he’s sticking to it. No matter how many laws of physics the lie breaks. I would be the opposite way, I would tell the truth before giving it any thought. It isn’t always the smartest thing to do either.

Some men are such good liars that they should be given a medal or something. Maybe they need to register that ability with the FBI because that can be some potent bullshit. They don’t need a knife or a gun, their line is so smooth by itself. It must work for them at times or they wouldn’t do it at all. I figure for every lie I caught Rick in, he must have gotten away with ten. He wouldn’t do it at all if this was the truth, “I swear to God, every lie I have ever told, you have found out about. There are NONE that I ever told you that you don’t know about.” What a jack ass.

Anyway, the lines...oh yeah. I think the funniest pick up line I ever heard was when this guy came up to me, licked his finger tip and then touched my shoulder and then his own shoulder, looked me dead in the eyes and said, “Come on, let’s go get out of these wet clothes.” I liked it. but as most women I tell are grossed out by it, it must have taken some balls to try. I didn’t appreciate how many balls it took until just now. (How many balls it took?)

Anyway, I have seen some damn good women liars, although, since we don’t depend on each other for sex, we have much less reason to lie to one another. If you depend on a person for sex, it is amazing what kind of crap you will buy. Every friend in the world could point it out and you wouldn’t believe them. I have sat back and watched girlfriends lie with less than stellar performances and then see the men fall for it. If I hadn’t met Rick, I might not have believed it possible. But a smart person can be fooled as easily as an idiot can be. Rick isn’t the only liar I ever met, not by a long shot. He just got close enough to do damage.

Did you ever meet one of those liars that are actually laughable? Should you attempt to point out their less than sincere efforts, they are terribly offended that you don’t believe them. They will somehow find a way to blame it on you. That, by the way, is a cardinal sign of a dishonest person. If you find yourself starting to feel guilty when you are the one who first claimed offense, you just might be being manipulated by a master manipulator.

I suppose I should go see what I was going to write about. Have a good evening.


Meg

2 Comments:

Blogger That Weird Guy said...

First off, let me say that I am not claiming to never lie. You are correct in saying that we all lie from time to time.

That said, I lie very little. I found that I was a terrible liar when I was younger and I almost always got caught. Even if I got away with the original lie, something would unravel later and it would blow up horribly in my face.

So now I try very hard to be totally honest. Sure, sometimes it blows up in my face, but at least it's an honest blow-up. I'd rather have someone mad at me for the truth than mad at me for the lie as well as the truth it was covering when they eventually find out.

Most of my lies are little lies to cover up something embarassing. Sometimes I catch myself doing it and backtrack on the spot. I figure it must look funny, but it's worth it for the peace of mind.

Example or a real conversation I had with coworkers the other day about a traffic stop I had: "...and then I handed the officer my motorcycle insurance card to show him that I ride bikes as well as the car so he wouldn't think I was just a car driver with no regard to motorcycles. He realized I was a rider and let me go with a warning. OK, wait, not really. I accidentally handed him my motorycle insurance card because I was nervous as hell and the dates were right. I didn't look at the vehicle. He did let me off, but I'm not really sure why. (insert stupid embarassed smile here).

I was embarassed that I was too nervous to hand over the right paperwork, but thrilled that it seemed to work out. So as I'm telling the story, I catch myself starting to tell it like it was my brilliant idea instead of an dumb accident that worked out. I don't like doing that, so I caught myself and corrected it mid-story. I'm sure I looked a little looney, but it felt right.

February 24, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Guy,

I know exactly what you mean. That EXACT SAME THING happens to me all thew time! Well, not ALL the time but...

Meg

February 24, 2005  

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Is it possible that I am giving men too much credit? Should I give up and assume they are all nimrods? I am going to address this topic next....see ya soon.

Meg

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Good morning...



This morning I am just kind of watching the kids...that is my granddaughter and her brother. I have adopted the little guy as my own. His father took off before he was born. I often wonder what men think about when they do that. Do they think about the kid at all? Is there anyone out there who walked away from a child and has never gone back? Can you, under the cloak of anonymity, explain the thought process behind doing something like that? I have always wondered. My son would cry out loud in his room when he couldn't see his daughter. He spent a lot of money on attorneys and did whatever it took to see his child. I am so proud of him for that.

If you did walk away from a child, can you tell me, did your father walk away as well? I wonder if a man is more likely to do this if he never really had a father himself. As the daughter of a very good father, I couldn't imagine growing up without a father or keeping my children from theirs. I think a kid needs all the people who love him/her in their life that they can possibly have. I get very angry at friends of mine who, for no good reason, kick the father out of the kids' life for no reason other than spite. Melissa, a very good friend of mine, was extremely cruel to her kids and their father. I couldn't believe she did it. SHE was the one who cheated yet she took him to the cleaners. I would like to hear from fathers who did walk away and from fathers who were pushed away. No judging, just curiosity. And the hope that someone might learn from your story.

Meg

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

My daughter will be four years old this year. Her father walked out on us right after she was born. He spent a little time with her, but as the years passed, he stopped. He always told me "Please dont ever keep her from me." and I havent. I always told him he could see her anytime he wished, but do you think he does?? (No) We have joint custody, and I dont really know why anymore. I recently found out that he is expecting another baby, a boy, and is planning on marrying his new girl.(She is very young.)We seen them both in the gorcery store and I stopped so that she could say hello to her dad. She kept saying "I love you daddy." and he gave her a hug and walked away. I kept wondering "How could he not want to see her." I mean, if I had a child and she/he kept telling me how much she/he loved me, I would not be able to just walk away. But he did it. It didnt seem to bother my daughter at the time, maybe she isn't quite aware of what is going on, I dont know. But it bothered me, because I know he will probably always be like that, and some day it will hurt her.

February 24, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Now, this is exactly what I mean. I hope that there is a man out there who is strong enough to answer this question for me and this lady as well. What do you tell your daughter when something like this happens? I know people will justify everything they do but is there not any guilt involved when you do justify it to yourself?

Meg

February 24, 2005  
Blogger That Weird Guy said...

My father behaved the same way as anonymous's ex. He was never there despite my mother giving him full access to me. I remember walking by her bedroom one day when I was maybe 6 or 8 and hearing her begging him on the phone to see me. From then on I had no interest in seeing him.

Meg, you ask if there is a man of that weak character who is strong enough to answer. There won't be. If the man was strong to begin with, he'd be spending time with his child and taking care of his responsibilities.

I can tell you that I would never behave that way if I had a child, especially after experiencing it as a kid myself.

February 24, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Meg,

Did you really think that men would admit to anything? They are'nt that nice.

February 24, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Well, I guess that is a good point but I try not to assume much(that if they did it in the first place they wouldn't be strong enough to answer now) It is possible that a man who left a child behind years ago would feel comfortable sharing that now. But, I still stand by what I said yesterday, most of the men that read this are decent men so perhaps the kind who would leave a kid wouldn't be here in the first place. As the mother of 2 sons and the sister of 3 brothers, I don't just assume that they are all bums although I certainly have more than enough reason to assume it. I MUST believe that there are decent guys out there. I absolutely MUST. Otherwise, I should getteth my ass to a nunnery now.

Meg

February 24, 2005  
Anonymous Fanny said...

hey meg, just wanted to chime in here.

My sperm donor (these guys do not deserve to be called "father") ran out on my mom after getting her preggo and was never to be seen again. This was back in the late 60s when pregnancy was still a womans fault and there wasn't much in the way of support enforcement.

I wrenched my guys over this SOB for years wondering why he wanted nothing to do with me, and finally came to the conclusion to live a happy life I had to quit thinking of him as "the dad that rejected me" and think of him instead as the sperm donor.

And yeah, I'll bet the bastard is some couch potato football dud jacking off to scrambled porn on tv just like Rick.

You are very lucky to have gotten rid of this guy! I still think you need a nice geek guy instead. :-)

Fanny

February 24, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Hi Fanny,

Hey, I NEVER turned geeks down as an entire group. I just haven't had my pick of them...never run across them in my browsing. I have a problem. My catfish algea eater thing had gotten so big...I think I could keep it if I caught it. PetSmart closed down all the small pet stores that would trade with me. Does anyone want a clean, disease free catfish? I bet I would need a geek to fix this one...'ey? Glad to see you!

Meg

February 24, 2005  
Blogger That Weird Guy said...

Hi Fanny,

I like the sperm donor title. I think that's the new title for mine. I always kinda cringe when I refer to him as my father.

I'm hoping your geek push takes off. We can use the dating help. :-)

Meg, the problem with running into geeks is that we're not a very social group. We tend to hang out at home with our computers or with friends we're already comfortable with. We won't be walking up to you at the bar using a bold/cheesy "let's get out of these wet clothes" line. ;-)

February 25, 2005  

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Wednesday, February 23, 2005

It would appear as though Terri Schiavo is about to be free of the aggressive life support system that we in the medical profession call nourishment. You may know it as breakfast, lunch and dinner. According to her husband, Terri stated she never wanted to be kept alive artificially. One must wonder if she ever meant that she wanted to be starved to death.

As a nurse, I have personally requested that doctors discontinue certain medications (with the families’ approval) once a person has been in a vegetative state for a long period of time and quality of life is non-existent. We have stopped heart medication, blood pressure medication and even pain medication but I have never requested that a diabetic patient have his or her diabetes medication stopped. That was too close to starving someone to death.

There are certain things that are considered minimal care and are given to every human being, regardless of what percentage of their brain is pudding. We clean them, move them to prevent pressure sores, clothe them and yes, we feed them.

Which one of those life support measures would you want us to leave out should your child enter a persistent vegetative state? Should you even have a say in that matter? Or should the decision be left up to someone who has a financial interest in the outcome? If the judge had a financial interest in this matter, he or she would step aside as it would be considered a conflict of interest. But a husband with another family that would receive a windfall is allowed to make this decision. It is stunning.

There are people all over the world that are in persistent vegetative states and we aren’t starving them, why are we going to starve Terri? They have families that visit them, love them and would mourn their passing. I couldn’t even imagine broaching that option with those families for fear of being called a heartless, uncaring nurse.

When people don’t want to be kept alive artificially, they sign a paper. If they enter a state such as Terri’s, the family still has the final say. You could sign a paper everyday stating you don’t want to be kept alive artificially but should your family request that life support be maintained, maintained it is. That is because the family has the potential to hire an attorney and sue. So, we listen to the family.

Usually, the family is more concerned with the patient and their wishes. They would never go out of their way to fight for years to starve their loved one. To remove a respirator, yes. To stop dialysis, yes. But to starve them, never. That is, unless the family has a new family and wants the money that the death would guarantee. There is no other reason that a person would fight so hard to “allow death” to occur. With a family willing to take over the responsibility, why is Mr. Schiavo doing this? He says it is because he is honoring her wishes. Does anyone seriously believe that Terri would have wished this hell on her parents?

Did Terri feel so strongly about this issue that she would have chosen to put her family through this pain? If so, why didn’t she make it legal and sign papers to make her wishes known? If she had, she would have found that you can check certain life support measures that you want and others that you don’t want. That is because different people have differing opinions regarding what is considered extreme life support. Some people consider nourishment to be a basic necessity of life, not an extreme life support measure. So, once you make the decision not to be kept alive artificially, there are STILL decisions to be made, such as what exactly you consider life support.

This is a topic that should be brought up with your loved ones. Every person should make their wishes known. They should discuss it with someone that they trust enough to make that decision for them should the time come. Usually, that person is your spouse. But if your spouse has a new spouse and could use the money your death would make certain, would you still want them making your decisions for you? Or would you prefer to leave that type of decision up to family that most assuredly has no other motive than their love for you? One would think that once a husband has moved on and begun another family, he is no longer a viable candidate for this position. I sure the hell wouldn't want Rick involved to ANY extent. I have a feeling that Terri would not wish to have her husband and his new family profit from her death. But that's just me.


Meg

2 Comments:

Blogger runslothrun said...

i don't know, meg. it's not like this happened a year ago. it's not like he left her and had another family and THEN she was incapacitated. it's been 15 years.

i can look back over the last 15 years of my life and see all the changes i have gone through personally and socially...to think that after that long he is still an active part of her life speaks volumes of his commitment to her happiness.

so he remarried. so he has a new family. what about the cross he has had to bear for so long...in love with two women, one here and one 99% gone for so long. and to have to know that and watch it and feel it. he could have abadoned her and simply walked away...but he didn't. he fought to let her go physically because mentally she has been gone for so very long.

her family should have supported this decision a long time ago. they should have supported her husband...christ, he's been there this long you'd think it was apparent that he loved her.

i'm not sure what financial gain he could get from her passing. if anything, surely it would have to be reapplied to medical bills and attorney fees. and, if not, so what if it goes toward a new family? do you think it's possible that she would have wanted her husband to move on and be happy if something ever happened to her? do you think that now, being brain dead and if you believe in an afterlife, that she is looking down at him cursing his new family?

her family has been extremely selfish in their actions. when two people are married the family starts there. it may extend back to include everyone else but your husband or wife IS the root of your family. at least, that's how it should be and more marriages would last if people acted as such. her family choose to push him out and not respect his wishes or hers. they judged his character for moving on but still loving their daughter. they fought him for caring enough to let her go.

thoughts?

February 24, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Now, I have just woken up and I don't have my wits about me yet but if I look at it from his point of view I still wonder why. Can he truly move on if he doesn't walk away? Can he possibly do either family justice while trying to give it to both? I don't know. I wrote that for someone who asked me to write it from that particular point of view. I just threw it up there for the hell of it. I don't know. The money is from a lawsuit. I DO have a huge problem with that, but it is an entirely different subject.

February 24, 2005  

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By the way.....

You know how we have stupid little quirks that keep us from stepping on cracks and stuff like that? Why is that? What possible survival instinct would account for this?

"These are the things that bother me, not a lot of things across some sea."



Meg

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Two of the most difficult things about going through this divorce have been the loneliness and the wondering of why. I got over wondering why a long time ago. I am still curious, I just don’t obsess about it anymore. The loneliness has been a little bit more difficult. For months, I just didn’t let myself be alone and awake too much. I was pretty much dependent upon other people to distract me from my self pity party.

I’ve always told people that they should learn to enjoy living alone before they get married. That way, you know you aren’t getting married just to avoid being alone. If you enjoy being alone, chances are you might avoid an irrational decision because you wouldn’t want to give it up for just anything or anybody. I’ve also always told people that they should be their own best friend and counsel themselves accordingly. I keep trying to do that myself but I have to admit, it is difficult to listen to me sometimes. In the past, I have never been able to fathom being alone much less enjoy it. So...I just didn’t do it.

I did do a lot of sleeping. It was either that or drink and I don’t really drink so I just slept. (And, I started this thing. This has really been great because I have “met” some very kind and good people through it. It reinforced what I already knew, that there are plenty of decent people out there. And they are funny, charming, eloquent and wise. I have pretty much allowed myself to be in the presence of a person who was an idiot. I didn’t branch out too much from that. So, it is nice to see so many bright people. They really are BRIGHTER. In every sense of that word.)

Anyway, I have been forced to be alone for so long now that I am sick of sleeping and I want to be awake and doing something. So, last night I was doing something and realized that I hadn’t minded being alone. I didn’t need to be around anyone else and I was wide awake. Of course, I screwed it up by overanalyzing the entire little epiphany, but nevertheless, I didn’t mind being alone. So, distracting myself was a very good thing.

Meg

2 Comments:

Blogger Susan said...

I agree that everyone should learn how to live alone before they get married.

I went from my parents' house to my first husband at 18. I had two sons with him and found myself divorced and a single mom at 24.

I stayed single (living alone) for almost 9 years - willingly! I found my independence, worked, bought a house, and learned to love ME. Sure, I dated. And I fell in love twice too. But, giving up my independence and 'freedom' wasn't something I was going to do frivolously. It had to be for the right man.

He came into my life unexpectedly when I was 32 years old. I knew he was the mate I had been waiting for. I gave up everything (job, house, *independence*) to marry him and move 700 miles from my family and my life.

We traveled some bumpy roads - as in any new marriage - but overcame the difficulties as a team. I'll be celebrating my 13th wedding anniversary with him in April. I am always thankful I took the leap of faith and followed my heart.

However, I also knew/know that I could do it alone - and that knowledge gave me the freedom to embrace life and take the chance.

February 24, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Susan,

You are exactly right. And one other thing, it is a different marriage when HE knows you can take care of your self as well as you do.

Meg

February 24, 2005  

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Good morning!

The coffee is starting to kick in and I think even my fingers are waking up so I thought I would just pop in and say hello. I have nothing specific on my mind this morning, is this what it is like to be Rick?

"Whatcha thinkin'?"

"Nothing."

I used to wonder but now I believe he was telling me the truth. Hard to tell with that one. I actually DID think of nothing once. I was lying on my bed and I did it, for just a split second...it was almost like an out of body experience. It scared the hell out of me. I thought my brain would stop and never start again. Rick was the only one there so there really was no one to "jump start" my brain. I will never try that again. Well, I'll be back when I have something worth saying. Knowing me and the way I value my own opinion, it shouldn't be very long at all.

Meg

3 Comments:

Blogger Jane Doe said...

That blank moment, for intelligent people like yourself, is called zen. The moment when all meaning, worry, burden and everything is gone. You just ARE.

For Rick, it sounded like it just meant the t.v. was off.

:-)

February 23, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Rick is TECHNICIAN MAN. The TV is never off.

Meg:)

February 23, 2005  
Blogger Jane Doe said...

Well, something was "off" :)

February 24, 2005  

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Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Building a new man from scratch might be illegal. Maybe you could find one you like and clone him? From what I read lately, it's all the rage with sheep and cats. LOL

Cloning? If I have learned anything from being around Rick it is that cloning is immoral. And besides, I haven’t finished browsing amongst the herd I already belong to. It’s really a pity because I wouldn’t mind prison for a while. I just haven’t thought of a classy enough caper yet.

I'm always aspiring to be a better man. Only, lately, I'm realizing that I was never as bad as I always imagined. :-)

None of us are. We all do the best we can with the tools we have on any given day of our lives.

Can anyone adequately describe what this feels like:

I distracted myself tonight.

Meg

4 Comments:

Anonymous Stacey said...

Last time I tried to distract myself, all the blood rushed to my head and I brained myself on a guard rail... proving yet again that wire mesh and Glenfiddich just don't mix.

February 22, 2005  
Anonymous Stacey said...

You know, a copy is never as sharp as the original. Frankly, the genetic material floating around Georgia just isn't of a caliber that could withstand cloning. You're suggesting we dive into the shallow end of the gene pool, and that ain't a BabyRuth floatin' by.

February 22, 2005  
Anonymous Stacey said...

The "distracted myself" thing is bothering me. Maybe it's like making sure all the snowflakes are different?

February 23, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Stacey,

You are cracking me up this am. Haven't had me coffee so me wee brain is foggy. But Baby Ruth...LOLOLOLOL

Meg

February 23, 2005  

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I noticed that many guys I got serious with would kind of cut off when something was wrong. It was like they had too much pride to say they were sorry or to even act sorry. What is up with that?


I think it may be that I’m sorry also means I’m wrong and a lot of people have a problem with that one. It probably has nothing to do with you personally. Admitting you are wrong is kind of hard to admit to yourself, much less to another person. And you know what? I don’t think it is specifically men that have a problem with that, it’s just that you are a woman and your experience is with the men. I can have a hard time when I’m wrong and it is basically because I hate to admit that I allowed myself to get into a position where I must apologize. What’s more important is the way someone behaves. Rick could say all the right things but he lied about everything. So, if he apologized for something, it was only because he had to in order to get something he wanted.

If a man wronged me, I would prefer he simply not repeat the behavior. The apology might be nice but it means absolutely nothing if the behavior doesn’t stop. I guess it is all in how you were raised. Some parents go out of their way to instill specific values in a child. My father would lecture me until I thought, “Just whip my ass and let me go.” But, I remember the things he taught me. One of his biggest issues is personal responsibility. I remember him saying that admitting when you are wrong is a sign of maturity. So, I can easily do it, I just don’t like it because it means that I screwed up. Contrary to popular opinion, men DO have feelings and one of them is pride. I am a woman and I have a hard time with it so I cannot even imagine how difficult it must be for a good man to admit he screwed up. A bum will easily apologize and then do the same damn thing the next day. So, I think it is actually a good sign in a way. It means that they DO feel badly about something they did.
OK men...did I get that one right?

Meg: I also am in disbelief in some of your Rick stories. And in a secret guilty way, they make me feel better about myself.

You know, I knew that some men would feel this way. I also think that when you feel better about yourself like that, the next logical step is to try and aspire to be a better man. So, my secret is out. I am trying to build a new man from scratch.

Meg

2 Comments:

Blogger That Weird Guy said...

Building a new man from scratch might be illegal. Maybe you could find one you like and clone him? From what I read lately, it's all the rage with sheep and cats. LOL

February 22, 2005  
Blogger That Weird Guy said...

P.S. I'm always aspiring to be a better man. Only, lately, I'm realizing that I was never as bad as I always imagined. :-)

February 22, 2005  

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Meg, I thought I should clarify on the sports comment.. to be clear on this what I really mean here are men that sit in front of the tube with sports. I call these guys football duds. Now it's just too damn bad that this might offend the widdle feewings of a few men reading here. The bottom line is, in my personal anecdotal experience I have NEVER had a good man who was a sports dud, they've all been the same. I see televised sports as the #1 indicatorof problems with a man, period. When I decided that I did not want any man like that, and that I wanted a man who hated sports as much as I do, it was like the assholes disappeared overnight. I'll tell you what else goes hand in hand with this crap, and that's the porn. You can bet if a man is calling phone sex or looking at porn he's also a sports dud on the couch in front of the TV with bad personal hygiene and a cheating heart. And I say this as a former phone sex operator people!!! When I worked in the phone sex business we could predict our traffic and plan our business based on whether or not "the big game" was on TV that weekend or night. EVERYTHING in the business in regards to traffic planning was made like this:1. Game on TV (gonna be slow)2. The Stuporbowl (we take the day off, no business at all)3. Family Holidays, (men are with their wives and families, slow traffic)4. Business always picks up during tax refund season 5. Business picks up after football and basketball have gone away.Ok, and here's something else, the men who call phone sex are just like Rick. JUST LIKE HIM. Take it from someone who knows. When I worked in the biz I talked to so many heartbroken wives on the phone who had their credit cards used by these guys it was insane. THEY ARE ALL MARRIED LOSERS!!!

Dear Fannie,

I believe you and I am sure that you are speaking from your own personal experience. That is ALWAYS valid. My experience was different but hey, we all make our own rules and go with what works for us. Don't ever feel as though you need to prove anything to anyone...it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, your experience is your experience. I speak from my own experience and I don't feel as though I need to prove anything, I put it out there and I take my lumps if I must.

That being said, I think that perhaps men in general just like sports. Home Depot is empty during the Super Bowl as well. Rick never cared much about any sports unless the Vikings made it to the play-offs. I had another husband (I can’t believe I have let him off so easily, I imagine I will get to him someday) and he only watched games that he had money on. Do you want to hear something funny? I LOVE sports! I am the biggest Cubs fan you will ever meet, my first crush was on Bobby Hull (until I saw a picture of his bald, toothless self) and I dated a quarterback for the Bears. I am totally into baseball, football and hockey. When I was a little girl, I would RUN home from school to catch the end of the Cubs games and I remember wearing a hidden radio with an ear plug to school during the 69 baseball season. I was 11. I used to take my allowance and catch a bus to Wrigley Field to watch the Cubs play and my parents never knew. I would even go sneak into the ballpark on off days to watch the players practice. I would sit on the first base dug out and chat with the players, Cubs, Phillies, Mets, Cardinals...all of them. So, I see the appeal of sports and to me, a guy who was into sports would be a plus because it would be something we could enjoy together.

I am absolutely convinced that you are sincere and I am positive that you are not the only woman who feels like you do. That is why I put your last comment up here. There are some very decent guys who read this blog (if there are any ladies near Monument Colorado, do I have a guy for you!) and I think that they read it to learn about women. You are a woman and you have shared your experience with the men who are reading. They will most likely not appreciate your opinion, but I think that is because they are mostly good men. Whack jobs like Rick wouldn’t bother reading something like this because they are far too self involved to care a bit about a woman’s opinion.

Personally, I appreciate it. I said in the beginning that I wanted to learn from other people and I meant it. I have read and absorbed what you have written and I am glad that you took the time to write it. And, as annoyed as they might be by your opinion, I think that they are the type of men who are open to hearing what different women think.

So, are there any other women out there that have identified a trait that they find to be revealing about men? And men, what do you have to say about us? Inquiring minds want to know.

Meg

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi... it's me. The guy who commented on Fanny's earlier comments.

I'm truly sorry if I gave you the impression that I was insulted. I was just sharing my opinions as well to give you another point of view. I found your opinion interesting and thought I'd share mine.

Your opinions are valid, as are your experiences. I just think it's unfortunate that you have filtered out 90% of men based on a small percentage of them. It is fortunate, however, that you found someone you are happy with. :-)

The funny thing is that I agree with you for the most part, especially when you clarified them as the sports duds. Those guys who do nothing but sit in front of the TV for the next event tend to be losers. My stepdad was like that and I didn't like my mom dating him let alone marrying him. The funny thing is that it was her that wound up cheating, not him.

As far as my "widdle feewings". They weren't really hurt and I wasn't at all upset about your comments. I find it funny that you need to lash out at me for having a counter opinion.

It's important to keep in mind that all of our opinions and experiences are valid, not just yours or mine. It's also important to remember that both you and I are posting to a public forum. That means that we will get some opinions counter to our own.

Honestly, though, do we learn anything if all we see are posts like, "yeah... you're totally right" all the time?

February 22, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Exactly.

Meg

February 22, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks, Meg.

Your blog has opened up some interesting conversation.

I'm fascinated by the phone sex facts. It makes total sense to me, but I never really gave it thought before.

February 22, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a personal anectdote now that I'm thinking about Fanny's sports/porn correlation.

I have only one friend who didn't watch the Superbowl this year (both sexes), and he is the biggest porn fan I know of. He watches no sports, but boy does he enjoy his porn.

Conversely, the biggest sports fan I know doesn't dig porn, at least not that he admits to. I admit that he could very well be a closet porn fan, but I doubt it from what I know of him.

February 22, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Yeah, it is interesting and I am learning quite a bit from you guys. Maybe, if we speak really slowly and try really hard, we might get to understand each other a little bit.
I learned last year that appearances can be very deceiving...no one would believe some of the things that Rick did/does. The more I hear from normal men, the happier I am that he is someone else's problem now. Let the tramp who screws married men deal with him, they deserve each other.

Meg

February 22, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I noticed that many guys I got serious with would kind of cut off when something was wrong. It was like they had too much pride to say they were sorry or to even act sorry. What is up with that?

February 22, 2005  
Blogger That Weird Guy said...

Hi... it's me again. I created a login for myself. I know it's no less anonymous, but at least I have a name to put to my posts now. :)

Meg: I also am in disbelief in some of your Rick stories. And in a secret guilty way, they make me feel better about myself.

After my wife left me a couple years back, I keep wondering what I did that was so bad. She never had a bad thing to say about me (that I know of). in fact we still get along nicely as friends.

So hearing about some scumbag like Rick makes me realize that I'm not a bad guy. I never cheated on her. I didn't masturbate to the scrambled porn channels. I brushed my teeth and wiped up after myself (never thought I'd actually list that as a positive quality LOL). I NEVER even came close to raising my hand to her.

Her friends all have theories of why she left. Mid-life crisis being the most common. My friends, predictably, say she's insane and always was. I think that's just what friends do.

Now I know that while I may never really know why she left, I know that there are far worse guys out there than me. I hope she never gets stuck with one of them.

February 22, 2005  

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Good morning!

OK, now I have pontificated upon what NOT to do. I thought I might mention a few things that are very nice to do. Most of us are very easy to please, we are usually pretty happy just to be loved. I've heard it said that women give sex to get love and men give love to get sex. So, you have to figure out what love means to your woman. Some of us are cryptic, and some of us aren't but I think that most of us would tell you exactly what it means to us if you asked. So ask. Ask what you can do to make her feel as loved as she is. Tell her you don't want to ever look back and say, "If only I had done more for you." But, on your own you could:

Bring her coffee in the morning before she gets out of bed.

Offer a backrub after the day is over. (And EVERY SINGLE TIME she says, "My back is killing me.")

Surprise her with flowers, delivered to her, for absolutely no reason at all. (Can you imagine her co-workers telling her what a great guy she has?)

Call her unexpededly just to say "Hi, I was thinking about you and had to call."

Demand that she take a day off and take care of her "chores" for that day leaving her to be free to do whatever she wants to do.

Call her, tell her to dress up and go to a local nightspot. Then go there yourself and pick her up like you've never met her before.

When shopping, be alert to little things that she would enjoy and take them to her. (Pay for them first.)

On a fine spring day, make her a little flower patch in your yard.

Pitch in while she's cooking dinner.

Ask her if she knows how much you love her.

There are a million and four things you can do that are not at all costly, no matter what currency is involved. And they are ALL good investments. A woman who knows she is loved is just plain better in bed. She has less to worry about in the self esteem department and can then take more time to feel and enjoy you. When we don't feel loved, we get pretty worried about it and we can spend a great deal of time wondering what we could do to make you love us.

Rick once told me that he missed the self confidant woman that I used to be. He forgot something. I was self confidant because I felt loved. When he stopped doing nice little things for me, I was no longer so confidant and I was worried all the time. He didn't like me and I didn't like me much either.

I'm not saying that she should be dependent upon you for her happiness, just that if you want a more carefree, responsive wife, make sure she hasn't anything to care about except making you a happy husband. It pays off in dividends you never thought about. I promise.

Meg

4 Comments:

Anonymous Stacey said...

Can I add one? Kiss her like you mean it, even when your pants are still on :o)

February 22, 2005  
Blogger mrmc80 said...

I like how you reflect your thoughts and I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am deeply sorry. I feel for you. Keep writing with your heart. We need more blogs like yours on here. I hope something good will come out on all that crap you are dealing with. Truly, to a stranger, to stranger, you deserve it!

February 22, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

First let me say HI to Tiger Lily, I am glad you are still out there! Don't feel too badly for me, I am getting better every day.

Secondly, DAMN IT STACEY! How did I miss that one!!!! Of course, kiss her like you mean it! Shame on me for missing that one after MY weekend.

Meg

February 22, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yep Tigerlily, it's strange. Kinda Emily Strange. Do Horse and Jew know where you are?

February 22, 2005  

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Monday, February 21, 2005

Hi ya'll!

I just had a very long conversation with a friend of mine who is going through a divorce. It's one of those divorces where the wife is accusing him of everything under the sun and I didn't understand it because he is such a nice guy and doesn't deserve this. Well, tonight he mentioned something that finally gave me a reason why this woman is acting like she is. Although I feel uncomfortable second guessing a woman that is so unbalanced, I thought of you when he told me what he told me.

He mentioned that he enjoyed pornography once the marriage had disintegrated to the point where they were sleeping in separate bedrooms. When I gave him a woman's perspective, he was truly surprised. It occurred to me that other men might be as clueless as my friend was and might be interested in one woman's perspective.
I understand that some men enjoy pornography and find it to be innocent fun. I get that, I really do. But unless it is part of a "team" effort, it is akin to cheating. Not all women feel this way, but plenty do. I know there are even women who enjoy it as well but trust me...some find it to be extremely offensive.

"Tom" said that he considered his wife to be the love of his life and that sex with her was wonderful as well. He told me how important she and thier intimacy was and in the next sentence said that when he stopped getting it from her he turned to porn. So...basically, he was saying that the wonderful feelings he had when he was with her were evenly swapped out for pornography.

Nobody gave me the job of being a judge of other humans and I am trying very hard NOT to sound like one. But...can you see how a woman can feel as though she is easily replaced with scum? We all know how degrading to women in general that porn is in the first place. But to say that you need it if you can't get it from your wife is saying to the wife that the relationship is something less than she might have thought it was. So it degrades not only women but the relationship as well.

I know that you can be a very loyal husband and enjoy pornography. I also know that some women don't mind one little bit. But I am referring to the ones that DO mind. To most of them, it isn't a matter of jealousy. It is simply a matter of respect and consideration. As innocently as men may pursue this little hobby, they are pretty much saying to thier women that sex is no more than a bodily function. Sometimes it may be but if you are in a relationship that involves fidelity, sex should be a bit more than that.

FYI...some women feel as though a guy who needs to dabble in the manly art of smut is obviously not at all happy with the woman he is with. I wonder what my friend would have thought if his wife was the one enjoying the porno crap. I should have asked him and I will the next time I speak with him. How would your ego take it if your woman used other men to "relieve herself"? We women can be pretty sensitive and we don't take kindly to being a toilet for somebody's sperm. If sex is no more than a fart to you, then stop reading now. But if it is a part of a beautiful relationship that you cherish, consider how your partner would feel if she found out that you enjoy looking at another woman rather than at her.

YOU might not see it that way, but trust me, WE do. So, if you have someone that you want to keep around, let her be the only one that does it for you. And...remember what I said in an earlier post, if you want to go and get all crazy, look at your wife. She just may have more in her than you realize and she may be waiting for you to bring it out of her. And if, occasionally, you can't help yourself, keep it in the bathroom with the door locked.

Meg

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Howdy Meg
I actually went through something similar to this, so what you said wasn't that big of a surprise to me. When my now-wife moved down to live with me some years ago, I still looked at porn from time to time as much from habit as anything else. In my own mind, I was not cheating on her. Of course, this caused her lots of problems, moreso because her father had abused her for all of her childhood (calling her fat, stupid, etc.). When I finally understood what the porn did to her (and it took a while I'm afraid, but then, I've never been that smart of a man, rather dense actually), I stopped looking at it and have never turned back once. My relationship, both intimate and everything else, is MUCH more important that smut. Thank you for writing that article from a female's perspective, it might help a lot of guys salvage a wonderful relationship that might fail otherwise due to the smut.
Mike
Austin TX

February 22, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Dear Mike,

I am so glad you took the time to respond. Only a decent, considerate man would have done so. That was my entire point.
This is one man who's wife feels more important than the celluloid bimbos. What a lucky woman.

Meg

February 22, 2005  
Anonymous Stacey said...

Meg, thank you very much for being brave enough to be honest in an open forum. You put your heart out there knowing all the pot-shots people take. You're a stronger woman than I.
When I got married, I didn't complain about porn because I din't want to bitch. But, to me, it was fantasy cheating. He was telling me, I'd love to fuck her, but you'll do. I hate to think that the only thing I have going for me is convenience. I didn't mind when he watched porn WITH me, but when he watched it INSTEAD of me, I thought I must be pretty low.

And Mike, my husband is from Texas, too (10 minutes down the road from you, actually). He had the exact same reaction as you when I finally broke down and told him how unwanted I felt. I think they raise 'em pretty good in Texas :o)

Hugs to you Meg. So few women can appreciate a good man. A decent man is going to be so unbeleivably lucky to have you in his life.

And RIck? I hope Rick finds a female version of himself. I cringe just thinking about it.

February 22, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Hey Stacey,

I'm so glad you wrote that. You don't realize how bright and witty you can be. You are pretty darn good with the words yourself and I am glad that you added them here. LOL, I have seen some of the pot shots and I take them for what they are. But there have always been enough kind, decent people to make me just laugh at the pot shotters. A female version of Rick? Yeah, I'm cringing as well.

Meg

February 22, 2005  
Anonymous Fanny said...

Meg, I thought I should clarify on the sports comment.. to be clear on this what I really mean here are men that sit in front of the tube with sports. I call these guys football duds. Now it's just too damn bad that this might offend the widdle feewings of a few men reading here. The bottom line is, in my personal anecdotal experience I have NEVER had a good man who was a sports dud, they've all been the same. I see televised sports as the #1 indicator
of problems with a man, period. When I decided that I did not want any man like that, and that I wanted a man who hated sports as much as I do, it was like the assholes disappeared overnight.

I'll tell you what else goes hand in hand with this crap, and that's the porn.

You can bet if a man is calling phone sex or looking at porn he's also a sports dud on the couch in front of the tv with bad personal hygeine and a cheating heart. And I say this as a former phone sex operator people!!! When I worked in the phone sex business we could predict our traffic and plan our business based on whether or not "the big game" was on tv that weekend or night. EVERYTHING in the business in regards to traffic planning was made like this:

1. Game on tv (gonna be slow)
2. The Stuporbowl (we take the day off, no business at all)
3. Family Holidays, (men are with their wives and families, slow traffic)
4. Business always picks up during tax refund season
5. Business picks up after football and basketball have gone away.

Ok, and here's something else, the men who call phone sex are just like Rick. JUST LIKE HIM. Take it from someone who knows. When I worked in the biz I talked to so many heartbroken wives on the phone who had their credit cards used by these guys it was insane. THEY ARE ALL MARRIED LOSERS!!!

February 22, 2005  

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You know...


I had not even realized how much I had missed cuddling. Man, it felt good. Do yourself a favor and cuddle with someone tonight. And, never, ever take it for granted. It is a lovely thing to do. Also, making out is pretty damn fun as well. There is something nice and sweet about making out when you know there is NOT going to be sex involved. I had forgotten THAT as well. It was great. (Except for the rash on my chin from the little beard thing.) Take your significant other onto the couch tonight and make out. TRY it without having to consumate the evening. Then, let me know how it went. I can't be the only one sharing here!


Meg

8 Comments:

Anonymous FannyTheFan said...

Meg,

Just wanted to say hello and tell you that I am a fan of your blog.

Let me say this, not all men are scum, it's all about who you choose.

First of all you need to pick a man who is not into sports. This, believe it or not seems to be the biggest indicator of assholery in a man. I married a big geek who hates sports as much as I do and never once has he stepped out on me or even look at another woman the way the sports idiots did when I was in the dating scene.

Second, I did meet my husband online ten years ago! But not through a dating service, noooo. You see, online dating services are where men like Rick hang out. Nice geeky guys that hate sports and nonsense like we do hang out places where geeks hang out like science and tech sites/message boards/discussion groups. Anyplace where lots of science is discussed there will be lots of single geeks. :-)

Ok, now I want to tell you something else, I used to work as a phone sex operator years ago. And Rick TOTALLY
reminds me of the kinds of losers that used to call and pay $3.99 a minute to jack off. They are all balding, fat, middle aged, boring, into sports, and cheating on their wives.

Good luck and let us know how things are going!

A Female Fan

February 21, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Fannie,


You gave me quite a smile with that comment, thanks for that. Oddly enough, Rick wasn't into sports. He literally had no interests in life except to watch and be sure no one stole the television. I'm so glad that there are people like you out there...it is what keeps me coming back and doing what I am about to do...write the next post.

See ya,

Meg

February 21, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Fannie,

By the way, love the new word...ASSHOLERY.

Meg

February 21, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fannythefan,

The assertion of a sports fan link is erroneous. I'm sure you've met asshole sports fans, as have I, but to lump them all together as cheating assholes is a bit of a stretch.

It would be like me saying that every woman that enjoys dancing is a cheating whore. Sure, sometimes I'd be correct, but many times she will be nice women who enjoys dancing.

Rick is the perfect case in point. He apparently didn't like sports, and I think it's clear that he has more than his fair share of "assholery".

I'm a geek who likes sports, so I guess that makes me half-asshole? ;-)

February 22, 2005  
Anonymous Fanny said...

When I worked in phone sex we planned our biz around the televised sports events, that's how we predicted cash flow and traffic.

Sometimes the truth hurts. lol.

NEVER DATE A MAN WHO IS INTO SPORTS.

February 22, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is an interesting fact. The generalization is rash and groundless outside the phone ssex business.

The vast majority of men are into some sport (watching, playing, or both) and most of them aren't calling sex lines or abusing women.

It's sort of akin to saying that most women who go to a bar are going to cheat on you because. The bar isn't the issue, it's the woman in question. Decent attached women will go to a bar, have a drink with her friends, and go home alone.

Just for the record, I have my sports-based relationship generalizations... because I'm just as bad as you are with the generalizations: :-)

I totally agree with you if you are talking about a guy who does NOTHING but watch sports. I've known some of those guys and they tend to just drink beer and relive their high school glory days while never doing more than the 12oz curl for exercise. Those guys are still traumatized that their glory is in their past and will do whatever it takes to prop up their shattered ego.

The same is true for a dating a woman who believes as Fanny does. I've found that you can't date a womam with that view on sports because it's the first sign of the me-me-me personality that can't handle a man having an interest in something other than her. It would be the same if the interest were in horror movies instead of sports. It's just something that he digs that she isn't an integral part of that turns her off so much.

I find the true happiness is in the middle ground. I'm always happy to turn off the ball game to talk or go out, but I also expect to have some understanding if I want to watch some events, like the Superbowl. The best is when she is interested in it enough to enjoy it with me. :-)

February 22, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my God. I really should have proofread that before I submitted it. There are some horrible gramatical errors in that post. I apologize. :-)

February 22, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

LOL, I hate when that happens. But I, master of my blog, can go in and fix them all.

Fannie, I think you sparked something. When people make each other think and respond like this, everyone wins. It's all good.

Meg

February 22, 2005  

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what does the opposite mean, meg? I've had the tendency to find the "distant" men. Go out a couple times, enough to show interest... then they get "busy". (I am by far not overzealous myself... I'm not talking about having to go out every day or even talk every day to each other. I understand the possessiveness you are referring to.) But when I finally make a comment relating to the fact that they don't seem interested and perhaps we should go our seperate ways, suddenly they show attention for a little while... until they get comfortable again.

Sounds to me like you are just busy kissing the frogs. They are certainly out there. You don’t say how old you are and that makes a big difference. If you are in your 20’s, this is just dating. If it has been going on for decades, I would ask questions. Literally, I would call a few of them up and say, “Listen, I am trying to figure out why I haven’t been terribly lucky in love and I was wondering if you could tell me what lost you?” I know that sounds nuts to most people but to me it makes perfect sense. You have nothing to lose and you might get lucky and find an honest man (LOLOLOLOL) that would answer your question.

Oh, there is one thing I picked up on that I would suggest, just my opinion, but I wouldn’t tell THEM that they are not seemingly interested. I would just make it apparent that I wasn’t terribly interested. I don’t know why, but that works well. You know, the whole “chase them until they catch you” crap. One other thing, I never say the words, "go our separate ways" until I mean it. Those words should be the end of a relationship, not the beginning of an argument.

I am going to assume you are young if you are still trying to play the dating game by being so blatantly honest and open with these guys. These are men, they cannot handle it. Just do what they want you to do, play it a little closer to the cuff. Sorry guys, I live and learn, I don’t make this shit up.

saturday seems to be suspiciously missing. anything happen that you'd like to share with us?i smell news here and would love to hear it.


Hhhmm. Very good. I am wrestling with this one. Well, if you are paying that much attention, then you might remember that I was dancing around my house Friday night. After a while of that, I felt froggy so I jumped. This really cute guy who is my age but doesn’t look a day over 33 anywhere I could see seemed to take a little liking to me. Yada, yada, yada...I made a lovely filet dinner Saturday night. :)

Meg

And yes, I got you his picture. LOLOLOL.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Stacey said...

ALRIGHT!!! WTG, Meg :o)

February 21, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

And you know what Stacey? I can proudly take a bow. Damn. We gotta talk. I hope you're feeling better!

Meg

February 21, 2005  

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Sunday, February 20, 2005

Hello, I've been reading this for a little while now. I just wanted to say that it has helped give me the strength to leave my ex-as-of-last-night fiance. He is very verbally abuse towards me, calling me fat and whatnot, even when I was pregnant. Oh, and he decided to tell me, a year and a half later after the incident(s?), while I was pregnant, that he cheated on me. I lost the baby and all, but I know that's for the best.Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for helping to save me from what could have been a very miserable marriage!

Well, if the only I ever accomplish with this thing is to save one person from a life of hell, I am happy.

Now, I don’t know whether or not abusive women follow the same pattern as abusive men but the pattern that the men follow is very predictable and can be hard to resist. That is, if you have low self esteem. And somehow, they seem to know who the women with low self esteem are. If by some chance you DO have a shred of self esteem left, they will call you names and try to be sure that you will never feel as though you could do any better. A man who loves a woman tells her how wonderful she is, not how fat she is. PERIOD.

The initial behavior is very hard to resist. They tell you they love you before they could possibly even know you. They never end the first date, coming over every single day and calling when they don’t come over. A woman with low self esteem could have a hard time resisting that. That’s how it starts.

Next, they have somehow gotten you to stop seeing your friends. Usually, they tell you that your friends are “sluts” or some such crap and they would be happy if you would just stay home with them. A healthy relationship is like two circles that overlap. But, part of each circle should have its’ own space. So many women will stop seeing their friends when they meet a new man. It may seem so sweet in the early phase of a relationship but it is stupid. And that is because, sooner or later, you WILL want to go out with your friends. And then, you are in trouble. An abusive man will see this as a step backwards in a relationship and he will assume that you have a new man. Why else would you suddenly want to go out without him? You have let his circle overlap yours and you have left yourself no space at all.

I had a man get jealous of a book I couldn’t put down. An abusive man wants you to be totally under their control, and waiting at their beck and call. They can even seem so loving but if they wore a big “I ABUSE WOMEN” sign, they would never get a date. So, they know how to charm you, and quickly. And then you have forgotten about the guy you met two weeks ago and take off with the new one because the other one didn’t call you enough. Well, THAT was the normal man. He has a life and is taking care to keep it healthy and happy. Healthy relationships don’t usually start off like a ball of fire, they take time to nurture and grow. But they are infinitely more worth it. There is nothing like having a friendship that slowly develops over time into something really wonderful. Never feel like you have to jump on the one that seems to easy to grab hold of. There IS a reason he is so available!
What courage this lady has. I only hope that very soon, she will feel what I am feeling, the excitement of wondering what life has in store next. Personally, I can’t wait to find out!


Meg

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

saturday seems to be suspiciously missing. anything happen that you'd like to share with us?
i smell news here and would love to hear it.

February 20, 2005  
Blogger Jane Doe said...

what does the opposite mean, meg? I've had the tendency to find the "distant" men. Go out a couple times, enough to show interest... then they get "busy". (I am by far not overzealous myself... I'm not talking about having to go out every day or even talk every day to each other. I understand the possessiveness you are referring to.) But when I finally make a comment relating to the fact that they don't seem interested and perhaps we should go our seperate ways, suddenly they show attention for a little while... until they get comfortable again.

February 20, 2005  

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Friday, February 18, 2005

HI!!!!!!


I am blasting music throughout the house and dancing like a fool. Thought I would catch my breathe and say hello. Today was boring. Oh, to the person who left that nice comment, I am not sure if this is considered a nasty divorce or not. I've been very sweet myself. :)

Oh, good song...gonna dance some more.

See ya soon,

Meg

1 Comments:

Anonymous Kim said...

Hello, I've been reading this for a little while now. I just wanted to say that it has helped give me the strength to leave my ex-as-of-last-night fiance. He is very verbally abuse towards me, calling me fat and whatnot, even when I was pregnant. Oh, and he decided to tell me, a year and a half later after the incident(s?), while I was pregnant, that he cheated on me. I lost the baby and all, but I know that's for the best.
Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for helping to save me from what could have been a very miserable marriage!

February 19, 2005  

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By the way....


I forgot, I am going to audition for a role in a movie called Horror Hill tomorrow, LOL. I will probably be killed in the first scene. But..I WILL NOT wear a mask!

Meg

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

good luck with the audition. i found a link to this on an other site, and you've had me coming back a few times a day just to see how thigns are going. i'm goign through a nasty divorce myself, so i'm broke. but, as soon as i have a few extra bucks, i'll send some your way. :)

February 18, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

OH...don't be silly, just keep coming! I will as long as you do.
:)

Meg

February 18, 2005  

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Solomon, my new friend and his new friend!

Posted by Hello

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HI


I did the shoot yesterday. It is a movie called The Gospel with Boris Kudjoe and some other folk you all know. I found out that the movie I did last year, Warm Springs, will be out in April on HBO. I spent yesterday freezing my ass of at an abandoned mental hospital that they used as a location to shoot this movie. They also shot Dumber and Dumberer at this location. I was used as a technical advisor as well as an actor. As the technical advisor, I told them the nurse should wear a mask in one scene I set up. So, like and idiot, I masked myself in this movie. Once again, I am in the movie, but I covered up my own damn face. Oh well. I did make a new friend, he is in the picture with one of the actors from The Gospel. His name is Solomon and he is a great young guy who I am glad to call a friend. I didn't know him 24 hours ago. Life is funny.

When I got home, I was flipping through the channels and came to the Comedy Channel. I almost went past it as Rick and I used to watch stand up all the time. I realized that I was avoiding all the things I used to enjoy because everything reminded me of Rick. Well, screw that, I am going to make new memories and continue on with my life. Unfortunately, the next thing I have planned for my life is a dentist appointment and I have to go and get ready to go there. I will be back to make you smile this afternoon.

Have a great day!

Meg

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This is one of the guys I worked with yesterday, He was in Ray. Back soon!

Posted by Hello

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Thursday, February 17, 2005

Well, that was a big fat waste of my time.

I was so damn bored that I wanted to just spit. (I don't know what that means, but it sounded good.) I went to two places and they were both dead. The bartender guy at one place was nice, but he works on tips so I don't know how to take him. Then, a huge pimped out guy was being very attentive, but I don't like the hours. It was stupid to go out on a Wednesday night and think there would be more than five people out at a sportsbar, esepcially when there really aren't any good sports going on right now.

And you know what? I had my father's car and I felt guilty just driving it TO a bar, much less driving home in it after drinking two beers. What is it about parents? I will be 50 years old in 4 years and I was worried that he would somehow find out. One night when he was staying here, I went to a friends house. This friend has a chronic illness and is bedbound. I sat with her one evening watching movies and came home at about 1 am. My father had locked me out of my own house! I had the keys but he put on the dead bolt on one door and the hook latch on the other. I got in, but I had to tippy-toe into my room just in case dad wanted to "talk". MY HOUSE, MY AGE, and he still wants me in at a decent hour. Jeez.

Well, I am up early because I have to go do that shoot today. the lady called yesterday to ask if I had any nurses uniforms. Yeah, I do. So I am going to take a shower and BRUSH MY TEETH (all of them) and be on my way. When I get home, I will tell you all about what this shoot is, I still don't know. Hope your day is going well, see ya later.

Meg

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well Meg, I'm sorry to hear that there were no men available for an interview last night. You're correct, however, that a Wednesday night in Marietta, GA may very well be a strecth in terms of socializing.

Considering your less than favorable outing, I would like to volunteer myself to be interviewed. Since I'm not geographically available, I can only offer a phone in interview. With that, please have your list of questions at hand and I'll call when you're ready.

Sincerely,

DC guy

February 17, 2005  
Anonymous Stacey said...

WELL??? How'd it go? Don't just leave us hangin'. Are congrats in order?

February 17, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

WELL!!!! Hell yeah!

Call me, hang up when I answer, and I will call you back!

Meg

February 18, 2005  

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Wednesday, February 16, 2005

OK, OK, OK...


I am so pysched. I just had a great idea and I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner. I am going to go out and interview men (maybe women but only if there is a shortage of men.) I will have to get a pad and pen so it doesn't look like I am just hitting on them (I can't make this thing straighten out and I am sick of trying so if it is crooked, I am sorry. Oh, now it isn't crooked, I give up),LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.and see what happens. (It just occurred to me that it IS possible that nothing will happen. Crap.) Oh well, a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

I will tell you what happens when I get back.

Wish me luck.

Meg

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A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a Genie. The amazed woman asked if she actually got three wishes. The Genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So... what'll it be?"
The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring peace and harmony.

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I'm good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable."

The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know -- one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time and is faithful. That's what I wish for... a good man."

The genie let out a big sigh and replied, "Let me see the friggin' map again..."

Thank you, Lori

2 Comments:

Blogger Jean said...

Reading this blog from the beginning... and I had to reply to this, even though it's two years old.

I congratulate you on all you've achieved, Meg, even though I haven't read the whole blog so most of it is in 'the future' for me. Best of luck!

Any way, I just wanted to respond to the joke.

I found him first! He's mine! Hands off!

:P
Jean

December 18, 2007  
Blogger Meg said...

Thank you Jean,

I thought about it a LOT and realized that everything I've ever REALLY acheived, I've acheived when I wasn't married. Why one Earth would I want to do that again?

I hope you enjoy the past...I think it just gets better!

Meg

December 18, 2007  

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Now I have a question.....

As I have said before, if you want advice about a man, ask another man. So...men, why is Rick STILL denying his affair? I know and he knows I know, why would he be denying it at this point? I must know.

Meg

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well..my first thought is he might be frightned of the local court system being favorable to women in divorces, and thus is trying to make YOU look like the badguy, so he gets better treatment.
of course, he could also be deluding himself or just be a plain jack@$$. He is probably denying all connection with his little girlfriend so it doesn't look like he cheated on you first.
Hate guys like that.
Hope things work out for you!
I rather enjoyed your commentary on why women get angry, might even help with my wife (I saw some things I did that might have been annoying her, time to change that!)
Mike

February 16, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't have a "from experience" answer for you, but I'll venture a guess based on basic male divorce behavior.

We (guys) constantly hear divorce horror stories where the courts will give the woman everything.

I personally know a guy who had his wife cheat on him, empty their bank account, and move directly in with another guy as sge filed for the divorce. She was awarded alimony, got the house, and one of the cars. This, and they never really looked into the bank account withdrawls. Since they were done while they were married, it wasn't seen as theft.

So even if a guy is wrong, as is clearly the case with your ex, he won't want to give the court ANY information they can use to screw him.

February 16, 2005  

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Meg,

What have you learned from your divorce? How do you avoid ending up with a nut?

Actually, I can answer both of those questions with one answer. Now, it may be a very long answer, but it is STILL one big answer. What I learned is that I should have never deviated from my RULES. When I was in my 20's and had endured a few yuchy experiences, I developed a set of rules to date by. Like any true jack ass, I tossed almost ALL of them out the window when I married Rick. And I did it on purpose. I knew he didn't fit the rules. I also knew that by marrying him I would be leaving a lifestyle behind that I had enjoyed. I just thought that this marriage would be a better way to go, LOLOLOLOL.

Everyone has to figure out thier own rules but here are a few of mine that I blew off for the Rickster:

1. Never date anyone who makes less than you do. (This rule was to weed out the guys who thought that by nabbing a nurse, they would more than double thier income. I would then have to question thier motives.)

2. Never date anyone who had been in a serious relationship within the past year. (This one was to avoid being the rebound chick.)

3. Never date anyone who drives a battlestar-galacticar. (Some degree of financial security is good in a man.)

4. Never date anyone who sits there and talks crap about thier ex. (You will be the next one he rags on!)

5. Never date anyone who lives with his mother. (No explanation needed here.)

6. Never date anyone who "loves you" within a couple of weeks. (Red flag for stalker people.)

7. Never date anyone who calls you EVERY SINGLE DAY after the first date. (Too desperate or stalker.)

8. Never date anyone under 6'2". (This one was from my ex, he was short and violent. I thought I had discovered "short man's" syndrome only to learn about the Napolean Syndrome later.)

I had a bunch of others that I cannot remember at this moment but you get the idea. I learned that I should have trusted my first instinct and followed my rules.

I met Rick a few months after his divorce. He was living in a cock roach infested (studio) apartment. I had never seen a cock roach in my life. I felt so sorry for him that my nurturing side slapped my brain down and the rest is history. He was driving an old beat up car and he made 6 bucks an hour. OK, I broke EVERY SINGLE DAMN RULE THAT I HAD CAREFULLY THOUGHT OUT!

Well, he SAID he was 6'2", but he was only 6'1". I have since learned that men add an ego inch to thier height. (I also know that all short men don't hit and all tall men don't avoid hitting, but hey, I was only 23.)

To avoid the creepy people, develop a few rules and stick to them. Don't get anxious, the right one will come along. I have always told my kids that as long as they had a plan, I didn't care what they were doing (as long as it was a legal plan, of course.) I told them that you get the jobs you apply for. So, apply for the BEST JOBS out there! It may take longer, but you will get one of those jobs unless you keep putting in applications for jobs requiring a paper hat. You may have to wear the paper hat while you are looking, but DO look! The same thing goes for most everything else in life, jobs, mates, friends, houses, whatever, have a plan and go after the good ones. You won't get good people, jobs or whatever if you are stuck with a bad one.

Notice that no where in my rules did I list good looks. That has never been terribly important to me. The biggest reason is that a person can be a 10 until they open thier mouth and then they suddenly become a 3. And, that works the other way around as well. A goofy looking person can become quite attractive if you get to know them and find out how funny, kind, decent and charming they are under that face. Maybe that explains the attraction between Camilla and Charles.

Back to having a plan...set a goal for yourself. Whatever category that goal is, if something is important to you, set a goal and develop a plan. You can't just go through life floundering and taking the easiest route every time. You will end up in some God forsaken state that you have never been to before and your entire support system will be gone.
When I felt sorry for Rick, something in my female-nurturing system took over and I forgot about myself and my plan. Although I knew my lifestyle would change drastically, I never knew I was slumming until it was too late. You have to learn to control feelings like those. And, you have to remember what you are trying to accomplish. I don't mean to make love and life sound like a business, but you can't just let your feelings lead you through life. Feelings are natural, not good or bad, they just are. So, learn to put them in the proper perspective. You can be flexible with your rules, but don't ignore the majority of them. Had I obeyed even TWO of my rules, I wouldn't be going through divorce court now.

Meg


Back in a few with something else.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha....Mom Kevin says he's 5'8' and I know damn well he's 5'7. I'll deal with it I guess(for now) he still is taller than me. Except when I am wearing stileto's. Is that how you spell Stileto's?

February 17, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Annie,

No, it is not. Getteth thyself a dictionary.

Mom

February 18, 2005  

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Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Mr.Smiley said...

I'm thirty, clean, don't cheat, don't beat, don't stray, don't play. So, I'm single. Women say they want nice guys, but that doesn't give me somebody to cuddle with on Friday night, now does it? Actually people either think I'm asexual or gay. I'm in Augusta, one of the only nice guys here.


You know dude, I don't think you are very smiley at all. At least not at the right time or not at the right places. People enjoy being around other people who are enjoying themselves. Go do something fun and do it often. Act like a kid again. Eat Fruit Loops once in a while and read the back of the box. Look for a four leaf clover and see what picture the clouds are painting. This is stuff you will NEVER regret doing.

When I was 15, I read, in one of those teen magazines that young girls read, that you should just go out and make a friend. I happened to want a friend and there happened to be a new girl in school. I just went up and asked her to come over to my house on Friday night. She did and eventually, I stood up for her at her wedding. I made a friend simply by solicitation. And all because of a silly teen magazine that I bought for the pictures of Donny Osmond, my first love. My crush on Donny Osmond lasted longer than my first marriage. Seeing him on Pyramid is a bit freaky, I must say.

Anyway, my point is that you should go up to a woman and ask her out. What have you got to lose? Be romantic, send flowers, silly cards and things like that. We love that crap. It is cheap to find out if she is interested. And it is also worth a few bucks to weed out some whackos. If you make a concerted effort, sooner or later, one will stick. I promise.

Right ladies?

Anyone out there from Augusta?

Meg

6 Comments:

Anonymous Stacey said...

Right on, Meg!!!
Can I throw in my two cents? Different women are attracted to different things. Maybe the women you're after, aren't the kind that appreciate a nice guy. You know those girls that you never give a second glance? One of them might be someone who'd enjoy you. And I don't just mean the dogs and the ditzes. Beautiful women almost NEVER get asked out by nice guys. Egocentric jerks are usually the only ones they get. Dogs and Ditzes? Maybe nobody ever really gave them a chance to be anything else. Go treasure hunting, you might be surprised what you find.

February 15, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I work at a place with about 450 employees. Abot 15 years ago I gave a valentine card to every woman in the place. Just one of those little cards that kids exchange in school. That small investment paid off handsomly for YEARS.

February 15, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Meg,

What have you learned from your divorce? How do you avoid anding up with a nut?

February 16, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I still lived down south I would go out with you. I am one of the woman who appreciate a nice guy.

Also, the Valentines Cards were a great idea!

Ann

February 17, 2005  
Blogger Uncle Enore said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

February 18, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Yes.

You didn't purposely say hurtful things for no reason. What you really think is OK if you don't just want to be mean. If you cannot do it with taste, humor and flare, don't do it at all.

Meg

February 18, 2005  

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Well...I had an interesting day!

Rick wanted to get the divorce over TODAY! He may want to get married again before the baby is due. Anyway, he actually said that he left me because I WAS CHEATING!!!!! No evidence, just that little accusation. So, on February 25th, he must give me $850.00 to make up for the rent for the month he left without paying it. Then, I will receive $800.00 a month in alimony until the final hearing at which time alimony will be $700.00 a month for one year, $600 a month for one year, $500 a month for one year, $400 a month for two years. There are a few other silly little things that will be added and I will go into more detail when the final decree is issued. Not only did he accuse me of cheating, he said that to THIS VERY DAY he hasn't had a girlfriend, date, or even a phone call from another woman. I can prove that he is lying but it doesn't matter, I am happy with what I am getting. So, that is what happened in court today.

Now, I am looking forward to the new role I will be starting on Thursday. I will keep you updated about that. So, now that court is over for the time being, I can concentrate on my health more, I am not so stressed about rent, the $850 will cover March so I have some breathing room. Oh, we will have the final hearing within 30 days. And then...I will have the criminal proceedings to report on.

Thank you to all of my blog buddies, your support has given me smiles where none existed. I have something in mind to (hopefully) entertain you so stay tuned!!!!!!

Meg

4 Comments:

Anonymous Lisa said...

You go girl!

I signed my papers last week at the lawyer. They had to be filed with the court and the idiot should get them this week. It would be nice if one had the potential to get it over quicker. Is there a "wait time" where you are? Wisconsin has a mandatory 120 day wait period before you get a court date, regardless of circumstance. (so you could prove a guy tried to kill you, but the government prefers you wait 120 days to be SURE you are ready to divorce him... LMAO)

February 15, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Nope, we could have finalized it today and had the papers in two weeks. Yeah, right. Not without that W2.

Meg

February 15, 2005  
Blogger Uncle Enore said...

Good deal, Meg...but...did I miss something? What happens Thursday? Oh, you are gonna report on that later...ok...sorry, too many drugs when I was a kid...

February 15, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the court date. I'm sure you're happy to see some progress.

Something to consider: how is Rick to pay you the monthly alimony? Is there any lannguage in the decree adressing default? You should get as much detail approved by the court as possible. Requesting a copy of annual tax returns and the potential of wage garnishment would be prudent. Its one thing to have a court order, its another to have the order followed. Why not have your counsel incorporate some "teeth" into the decree. Rick sounds like a guy who would ignore a court order. I have no clue on how GA law works with respect to divorce, however, having some language that identifies how your alimony will be collected upon default may give Rick reason to think twice.

Sincerely,

DC guy

February 16, 2005  

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The court date is over!!!!


I am going to call my family and tell them what happened and then I will be back to tell you!

Meg

2 Comments:

Blogger craig said...

I'm glad your court date is over hopefully all will be well for you now regards craig

February 15, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Thank you Craig, I have truly been dreading this day but wanting to get it over with as well. I am glad it is over and I am glad that I have made friends like you and the others who have given me more support than anyone else.

Thanks again and call me!

Meg

February 15, 2005  

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Good Morning!

Unless they call and cancel again, I will be going to divorce court today. I don't know what it is for, the paralegal said any time you file for divorce, you automatically get a court date. So, this is that date. I don't know why they do that since Georgia law requires mediation before a judge hears the case. But, today I will ask for Rick to reimburse me for September's rent. He left in the middle of the month and didn't tell me he hadn't paid the rent. I will ask for the car as well, although, if you have been reading this blog, you know that car isn't insured. But...it moves!!!

Anyway, I have to meet my lawyer at his office at 1 pm EST and the court is 1:30 pm, so, be thinking good thoughts for me at about that time. I will be trying to receive them.

You watch and see, I bet Rick even brushes his teeth for this. I can't know if he wiped his ass but I'd give odds he won't. OH! If any of you are in Marietta and have nothing better to do, come to the Square and attend my divorce! I would love to see you! If you can't be there, I will understand and update you afterwards.

So many schools are teaching Sex Education and Family Life...I think they cannot possibly teach the kids anything more than they can learn at court. The boys should all go to support enforcement court and the girls should all go to domestic violence court. And, ALL of them should attend a day of divorce court.

I want to thank Stacey, because of her I have a pair of crush velvet low rise slacks and a cute little top that will be appropriate for court. Not only that, but they look good on me! Now, what to do with my hair? Rick always wanted my hair cut short, I guess he was jealous of me as my head had hair and his ears, nose, unibrow and back have it, but alas, not his head. I remember him doing that comb over camouflage thing. He insisted that it was just his natural part. I told him that no one had a part behind his ears and he should grow the hair from both sides and he would have twice as much camouflage.

I haven't cut my hair since he left as I never wanted short hair in the first place. People, make YOURSELVES happy, not some nimrod who puts such store in YOUR personal appearance.

Well, it is early in the morning and I have to do a few things before court. If I have time, I will be back before court...but if not....come back later and see what happened today in court!!!!!


Have a great day!

Meg

4 Comments:

Blogger Uncle Enore said...

Good luck in court today, Meg, assuming you actually get there.

I AM conflicted about Richthedumbass's hair...well, actually, your comments on his hair. While not being bald, I DO have a very attractive bald spot...not shiny yet...still some cute little fuzz on it...and, what with my hair being snow white and all...makes me look...oh, I don't know...how about...SAINTLY? Now...um...about the rest of it...I seem to find my poor ole bod pretty well covered with hair. In fact, I have been thinking of combing my back hair up over my bald spot...except I'm not really sensitive about it. There is ONE place where I ain't got no hair...sigh...on the palms of my hands. Hmm...wonder why THAT could be?

So, does this mean you hate all old Italian hairy guys?

February 15, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Uncle, Uncle, Uncle,

Rick was bald when I met him when we were both 24. Baldness is caused by increased levels of testosterone so you are just SO MUCH MAN that your hair blew off of your head! I pick on Rick's baldness, not any one elses.

Meg

February 15, 2005  
Anonymous Stacey said...

Go get that car, Meg! If you get pulled over for no insurance, it could be a chance to meet a cute cop.

Uncle, being bald just means your ears get pulled more :o)

February 15, 2005  
Blogger Uncle Enore said...

You're so nice to me...and, of course, with all that back hair there is MORE to hold on to, right?

February 15, 2005  

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OK, I don't know why, but for some reason the last post I created...PRACTICING FOR COURT ended up two posts back. I don't know why and I can't fix it. So...scroll down for the latest post. This should work. Unless of course, this post is ten posts down.

Meg

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My Horoscope for today and...

READERS SPEAK OUT!

Horoscope....

Your coworkers will be sensitive to your current conflict between rebellion and security. Don't get defensive. Instead be truthful. If you share your discontent, your brilliance will be received more openly


See, even my horoscope thinks this is a good idea!

I just read your "blog", it was linked from the Metafilter site. You are funny, in a good way.

Well, you have to give some credit to Rick, he is my inspiration for all things humorous, good way or bad way.

Gimme candy said cutie pie Stace,
All covered in leather and lace,
Yeah that would be nice,
I might do it thrice,
Don't get it all over your face.

OK, OK, I asked for this.

Jesus Christ!! Did I write THAT? Sigh...

Now you know how I feel some mornings when I read yesterday's post.


let me say that Rick is a fool and it's a damn shame he was so selfish and blind.


OK, go ahead and say it. I won’t stop you.

"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

Nothing to add, just a sincere thank you to the many people I have met through this blog.

I was just looking at your blog. Do you like bluegrass?

I just don’t like weeds, any grass will do. But blue grass would have let Rick know that the stuff in our yard is crab grass.

so where is your dick head ex hub to be now?
Mine ended up being ok....we live about 4 miles apart


YIKES! Only 4 miles away?They allow that? I didn't even know it was an option.

"Happiness is finding your glasses before you've forgotten why you want them."

Or, in my case, remembering the thought I had until I find a paper and pen to write it down with.

I know that shit is a pain in the ass.

Speaking of which, how do you get shit out of your hubby’s underpants?

I'm going to fix the ex. I will exact a fitting revenge, fear not. Ok, that's handled. Tell me about you and what you need.

Uh, I think I can handle it myself, thank you.

I was just reading your article and found it interesting that you were located in Marietta. That’s where my ol' boy lives. And I had to teach him a lesson or two in honesty as well.

So, tell me, how did YOU do it? I’d like to know. And...by the way, did you use dioxin?

I am discreet, little lady, and can do for you anything and everything, you need only ask it of me.

Well, well, well. That’s intriguing. Let me think a while and I will get back to you.

Dump the jerk and get to a church, almost any church.

Well, one day some Mormons came by. I was too busy to talk but I told them to come back later. They didn’t. I consider that to be the worst form of rejection.

After reading about your husband, I now feel better about mine. The worst he does is snore.

Like I said, as he is snoring, stick a little string up his nose and twist it. The look on his face will be priceless. And, for a moment, the snoring will stop.

I divorced my wife because she made everything hard except the one thing I wanted her to make hard.

We all have our cross to bear. Did you ever try Rick’s old trick of watching sex channels that you didn’t subscribe to? He got pretty hard watching those slanted, distorted movies.

Sometimes a woman needs to be slapped, my father taught me that!

Are you Rick’s son? You can write Daddy at the Cobb County Jail.

I found that a good way of dealing with the emotional strain is to joke about the situation.

OK, A toddler was riding his tricycle down the street. As he passed the penitentiary, a man came running out the gate shouting, “I’m free! I’m free!” The little boy said, “Oh yeah, well I’m four.”

Damn, I love a corny joke.

That one got me onto the speech team in high school. Frank Tarango, the greatest teacher/coach I ever had, had a healthy respect for anyone with the nerve to tell such a stupid joke at a large audition. I love him, where is he? Last I heard he was teaching at Elmhurst College.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Meg,

Best of luck today. I wish you well and know that good always prevails, its the waiting for it to pay off that is the hard part. What goes around comes around and that cliche' may just be facing Rick today.

I look forward to speaking with you again. I called on Friday and I enjoyed our brief conversation. Stay stong and give 'em hell in the courtroom.

Sincerely,

DC guy.

February 15, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

You got it!!!! And...call me this evening, I look forward to it!

Meg

February 15, 2005  
Blogger Uncle Enore said...

Odd, but religionists hardly ever come HERE...could be the 666 in virgin blood on the door...

February 15, 2005  
Blogger Uncle Enore said...

LOL...and what are you doing re-posting my "love limerick" to Stacey...funny...I was just sorta perusing the comments...and there I was, staring back at me...

...Scarry...LOL

February 15, 2005  
Anonymous Stacey said...

Where does one find virgin blood these days?? I invite them in and try to get them to explain the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition (no one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition!!), etc. I actually sent a Jehovah's witness home with a copy of "Leaves of Yggdrasil" once :o) Watchtower my ass.

February 15, 2005  
Blogger Uncle Enore said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

February 15, 2005  

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PRACTICING FOR COURT:

Yes, your honor, Rick is a liar and a cheat. He is also an abusive bully. His penis is truly twisted and misshapen. It also has a problem, it doesn't work for any length of time. I tried to fix it but it only went faster. That would be good for a drive through window, but not for a penis. He sits on the couch picking his nose without a care in the world. Is that grounds for divorce? Or would you just classify it under emotional abuse?

Anyway, he isn't too bright but he is amazingly cunning. How do people who are so stupid lie so well? I'm sorry, your honor, I digress. He also has a butt wiping problem as evidenced by his underpants, I doubt the court can remedy that, his mother didn't try and I couldn't get him to do it. He blamed it on his hairy ass but I have a lot of hair on my head and there is no shit in it. He started brushing his teeth daily and he was busted! Only one of his tramps du jour would evoke dental hygiene from him. He left me carless, jobless, and in very poor health. BUT...at least he left.

OK, I think I am ready.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Hi there!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!

When I returned from taking my Dad to the airport (he is letting me keep his car while he is in Chicago!!!!!) I saw a number on my caller ID and thinking it was someone I had met through the blog, I called it back. It was the casting agency who I auditioned for to get the part in the Warm Springs movie that comes out sometime this year on HBO. I never expected to hear from them again but they called me and offered me a part in another production. She gave me the details but all I remember now is that I will be playing a nurse. She said, "We chose you because you look like a nurse." When I told her I was one, she freaked like I was freaking. It will only be a few days work but every little bit helps. I will give you the details when I am paying more attention. My first call is 2/17...I just realized that 2/17 is this week! What a nitwit I can be. Well, she said they will call me with the details the day before the call. I am sooo excited because this is the first part I have been offered as opposed to seeking out!!!!

On a lighter note, the lawyer's office called and said now we WILL be going to court tomorrow at 1 PM. I don't know why but I asked if opposing counsel had anything to do with it and they said no, that the opposing counsel was as surprised as my lawyer was. Soooo, as usual, I will let you know what happens. I am a little curious myself.

Well, a very kind reader/friend has sent me a gift today so I will be enjoying that and my granddaughter gave me a dozen roses, I counted them, THERE ARE 12!!!!!!!!!! I guess grandchildren are pretty loyal.

Well, now that my dad has left, I must do laundry (he hates the sound of the washer and dryer.) and try to come up with something decent to wear to court. Have a great day!

Meg

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Just a thought...

Writing a blog is like writing anything, you just talk in your head and write it down. Don't worry about grammar or spelling, whatever. There are people who will do that for you. And, editors edit. So many people have written me to ask about creating a blog and it is truly easy. You just do a web search for free blogs. If I can do it, anybody can.

Before you think you have to go out looking for more "intense" sex, check out your spouse. Women in particular, guys, just need some prodding. Not all of them, but I swear to God, there are a lot of them. They just want you to bring out that side of them, I promise. Ladies, will you ANONYMOUSLY give me an Amen! in the comments section on that one?!

And if I am wrong, I must accept the fact that I am truly a freak.

Hhhmmmmm....I must come up with at least one more thought to make this post seem balanced to me. Oh well, all I can think of is RICK SUCKS!

That's all there is, for the moment.

Meg

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

AMEN!

February 14, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

TWO MINUTES AFTER I POSTED IT, THE FIRST AMEN!!!!!! I KNEW I WASN'T A FREAK!!!


Meg

February 14, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

AMEN to that!!

February 14, 2005  
Anonymous Lisa said...

Screw the anonymous... AMEN SISTER!

February 14, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amen, Amen, Amen!!!!!!! I am showing this one to my husband!!!!

February 14, 2005  
Blogger Uncle Enore said...

HEY, HEY, HEY...I don't know about any other men...but I grew up as a 60's hippy, and have always been intensly sexual. Of course, I suppose that grows out of my intense hedonism...well, what the hell.

As far as "prodding" goes...I'm up for anything...YOU can prod ME...or...I can prod YOU. I'm easy to get along with.

Hmm...maybe I misunderstood...ahem.

February 15, 2005  

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Ain't poetry special?

Ordinarily, all I remember is that iambic pentameter stuff that I learned in high school. (F-F-F-E-N, T-T-T-O-N, F-E-N-T-O-N, Fenton, Fenton, Fenton! -Fenton High School, Bensenville, Illinois....Class of '76!)
But, I do seem to remember haikus as well.

The comb over job
Camouflaging your bald head
Fools no one but you.

OR...

How neatly you space
Those eight hairs on your head
Try hair plugs next time.

OR...

Misshapen penis
Evokes laughter from many
Keep it in your pants

OR...

Oh, Rick how you like
To hit those smaller than you
You belong in jail.


Be back later with more updates of the life of Meg.

Meg


1 Comments:

Anonymous Stacey said...

LMAO! Yes, coffee all over the monitor first thing in the morning....

February 14, 2005  

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Are the horoscope writers reading my blog?

My horoscope for today:

If you are holding on to a feeling from the past, today may be the day that you can finally let it go. Don't be afraid to use a simple ritual to leave something behind that you no longer need. Light a candle, do a dance, say a prayer or stare at the stars -- but do something special. Afterwards, you can focus your intent on the present moment.

Do a dance? What dance? The jitterbug? The foxtrot? The Hokey-Pokey? I think I'll go with the "do something special". It gives me much more latitude. Hhhmmmm, what special thing can I do?

I know, I will leave it up to you all. Now, consider the fact that I am broke and unable to get a job without a car and I am in constant pain. Perhaps you could send me the instructions on how to create a voo-doo doll. Do you know where they sell dioxin, LOL? OH! Maybe you could send me a Valentine's gift! Lord knows I won't be getting one from my husband, even if we were still together. I could still use a dozen roses, a dozen, not 11. I prefer red but any color would do. But, I do like surprises so you could use your imagination. Now, one year Rick and I had a mouse problem. He gave me earrings that I thought were cats. He said, "No, they are mice, remember the mouse we had last fall?"

Thank God we didn't have cockroaches.

So, not to appear ungrateful, but no vermin, even if they are in the form of 10 karat gold. You might ask how that is "me doing something special". Well, receiving a gift would be terribly special to me as I have rarely gotten any since my marriage to Rick. And, then I could tell the world that I am worth the time and effort it takes to buy a Valentine gift. Or maybe, it would be you telling me that same thing.

Meg

3 Comments:

Anonymous Stacey said...

Promise me you'll buy yourself something... anything, okay?

February 14, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

OK girl,

If I have any cash left over after I buy a gumball, I will buy myself something. But I wouldn't count on the gumball.

Meg

February 14, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Stacey,


Just for you and because of you, I am going to do just that. I might take me out, I am so much fun to be with!

Meg

February 14, 2005  

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Good morning!

As much as I enjoy venting on this blog, I get the biggest kick out of reading the comments you guys put out there. I wanted to share a bit of advice with all of you who haven't figured it out yet. If you are having trouble with your mate, do not, I repeat, DO NOT ask advice from one of your OWN kind, go find one of the other. They understand the motives much better than your own kind ever will. The best advice I have ever gotten regarding men has come from other men. Of course, you have to be sure the one you ask is objective. You could find yourself getting advice from the one who secretly wants you (or your man)! Nobody asked about that but I thought I would toss it in as it is barely 6 am and my brain hasn't absorbed the coffee yet. I will be back later with much more clearer thoughts after I take my father to the airport this am. In the meantime, let me tell you a stupid joke:

There was this string. He was walking down the street on a hot summer's day and he had a taste for a beer. He hopped into a bar and onto a bar stool and said, "I'll have a beer!" The bartender replied, "We don't serve string here!"
The string left, walking down the street. He came across a friendly appearing man and the string asked the man to tie him in a knot. The man hesitated, but he tied the string in a knot. The string then asked the man to fray him around the edges. The man was a little confused, but he did as the string requested, he frayed the string around the edges. The string then hopped back into the bar, hopped back up on the barstool and said, "I'll have a beer." The bartender asked, "Aren't you that same string who was in here a while ago?" To which the string replied, "I'm afraid not."

Yeah, yeah, I know it is dumb but I still laugh when I tell it as it is amazingly stupid, corny, and to me, funny.

Love ya!

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

frayed knot! LMAO! cute!

February 14, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, there is a piece of sausage and a piece of bacon in a frying pan, and the sausage says to the bacon, "Man, it sure us hot in here!"
And the bacon replies, "Aiiii! It's a talking sausage!"

February 15, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

LOLOL, how did this one get by me? Too cute. Keep 'em coming.

Meg

February 21, 2005  

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Sunday, February 13, 2005

Dear Meg,

Rick seems to be the typical scumbag, someone whose personality men can understand but at the same time, Us good guys fear that part of us, seems like Rick just let it all slide, What a worm! Marriage is hard, raising children is hard, but so is everything else that is worth a damn in this world. I have no repect for men who take the path of least resistance.

Yeah Dude,
I guess you are right. All men (and women, for that matter) have the potential to be all sorts of freaky things, I suppose. I guess it's behavior left over from our barbaric ancestors. But a bunch of us had fathers that went out of their way to actively teach values. I often thank God that I did. Certainly mothers play a great role, too (But I am answering the man who posted the above comment), but to the men who would grumble that men are losing control of society, remember that old adage: The hand that rocks the cradle rocks the world. We all just assume it refers to women. It does not. We may no longer need the family unit to survive, but I kinda think we need it to survive with any degree of a peaceful easy feeling. Children raised without fathers (or by fathers that were women abusers, liars, cheats, gun runners, pimps and/or drug dealers) fill the jails and wreak havoc on the outside. So, if you want to be a real man, woman, or just a decent member of out society, consider what behavior you would want your children to emulate. They will most certainly do it.



Meg

6 Comments:

Blogger Uncle Enore said...

Re: The Dude...

What the hell are you talking about? I agree Rick is a scumbag...but I CAN'T understand his personality. And I have NO fear of that sort of thing in ME. I am NOTHING like this bag of shit, and think if I gave it some thought I'd resent the implication that we all (men, that is...) have the potential for acting like an uncivilized barbarian. I don't.

Crap, you sound like we're all muslims or something...

February 13, 2005  
Blogger Uncle Enore said...

Um...the last line above: "...have the potential for acting like an uncivilized barbarian..." SHOULD read: "...have the potential for acting like uncivilized barbarians..."

Sorry. I'll try to do better in the future.

February 13, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think we all have the potential to be lazy, whiney shit-bags, not just men. I personally could quite easily get sloppy drunk every day, molest every man of legal age that looked sideways at me and take no responsibility for anything. Point of fact, I DID that for a few years (can't remember most of it). I think we all make a decision every day to be productive or honest or whatever you personally want to be proud of. I behave because I can't afford the therapy it would take to staighten my kids out if I didn't. To each his own. That's why I have no sympathy for Rick. He chooses to be a rat. We all have excuses, only the losers use them.
-Stacey

February 13, 2005  
Anonymous Lisa said...

Stacey-replace the booze with a little of the green stuff and I'm there with ya... LOL

Men/women, black/white, young/old... there are assholes in every "group" you can name, and there are decent compassionate people too. I teach my daughter to look at each person as an individual, and to look at that individual's actions as a marker to judge them.

February 13, 2005  
Anonymous Stacey said...

Lisa-

Mr. Herb and I were pretty good friends, too :o) And I agree with you completely.

February 13, 2005  
Blogger Uncle Enore said...

I'm not much of a drinker any more. Seems like the older one gets, the larger toll hang-overs take. And, I really haven't done drugs for the last 10 years...sigh...HOWEVER...in the good ole days!! Ah, the good ole days...to show you just HOW old...I was taking LSD way back before it was illegal, believed that smoke was invented just for ME ("smoke 'em if you got 'em...which I did continuously...) and used to think it was normal for my nose to bleed all the time...must need another line to cauterize that flow. Ah, yes...those were the days. (Of course, I'm not all that certain of my memory of them...perhaps that's another subject...)

February 14, 2005  

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There once was a man named Rick
He had a freaky twisted small dick
His wife tried to teach him
But she just couldn't reach him
You'd think he'd at least learn to lick.

But Rick was not very bright
And nothing he did in bed was quite right
His wife was very frustrated
She thought he should just be castrated
As she lay there in bed every night.

He often played with his very own knob
Even though he could have had a great blow job
He had very odd views on sex
Blaming every little thing on his ex
Said she cheated on him with some guy named Bob.

Rick turned out to be a big fat liar
Can't get the truth out of him with a plyer
So his ex wife most likely was decent
He lied then and told more lies quite recent
And many illegitimate kids he did sire.

Now, the sex was not that big of a deal
But violence made him feel like a big wheel
He smacked his wife to feel like a man
He never learned how to wipe in the can
I guess he is just a big fat schlemiel.

15 Comments:

Blogger Uncle Enore said...

I enjoyed reading this post...
About the asshole you continue to roast...
Shove a stick up his ass...
and give him some gas...
And have a death about which to boast.

February 13, 2005  
Anonymous Stacey said...

Oh I love it! Now, tell me the one about the man from Peru :o)

February 13, 2005  
Blogger Uncle Enore said...

I think Rick is an asshole sublime,
Whose foreskin is covered with slime,
Skin it back, jeeze,
Just look at the cheese,
All green and lumpy with grime.

February 14, 2005  
Blogger Uncle Enore said...

Or how about...

Using tweezers to grab at his dick,
He jacked it, this asshole named Rick,
He hoped that the sore,
Would be ugly and more,
That the scar would make it look thick.

February 14, 2005  
Blogger Uncle Enore said...

Too bad I have to go to work now. THIS is habit-forming. More tonight...

February 14, 2005  
Blogger Uncle Enore said...

Maybe just one more...ahem...

His cock is tiny and weird,
Its head is not to be feared,
It's twisted and mashed,
Looks generally trashed,
Mouse fucking is how it is geared.

February 14, 2005  
Blogger Uncle Enore said...

Rick fucks an androgynous cunt,
This boy that looks like a runt,
He's skinny and tall,
More ugly than all,
Hey, no pussy? Ok then he'll punt.

February 14, 2005  
Blogger Uncle Enore said...

Hope you people are happy...NOW I'm gonna be late for work...

The ole hippy was late to his truck,
Too bad it's not from a fuck,
It's because of the dick,
Of a short ugly prick,
On whose ragging I seem to be stuck.

February 14, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

There once was a man that was called Elnore,
I thought I roasted Rick but Unc did more,
Women may dis men and haunt them,
But other men can truly haunt them,
Cause they understand their bad side so much more.

Hehehe
Meg

February 14, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

OOPS!!! As I cannot figure out how to edit a comment, I must just correct my mistake by adding this comment, THE SECOND HAUNT should have read TAUNT in my last post. If anyone knows how to edit these things, please let me know.

Meg

February 14, 2005  
Anonymous Stacey said...

Uncle, you are such a wonderfully delightful, dirty old man :o) I'd take candy from you *ahem* LOL

February 14, 2005  
Blogger Uncle Enore said...

Gimme candy said cutiepie Stace,
All covered in leather and lace,
Yeah that would be nice,
I might do it thrice,
Don't get it all over your face.

February 14, 2005  
Blogger Uncle Enore said...

Jesus Christ!! Did I write THAT? Sigh...

February 14, 2005  
Anonymous Stacey said...

LMAO!!! Wow, I feel just so special, I've been immortalized in a limerick :o)

February 15, 2005  
Blogger Meg said...

Stacey!!!! I tried to call and got your machine, I will call again after court! Have a great day!

Meg

February 15, 2005  

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Dear Rick,

You will never know how much it hurt me when you hit me in the face the day you left. Not so much from the pain of the smack, but from the nasty words you said to me. I couldn't believe that the man who promised to take care of me forever was hurting me in such a cruel way. The contempt with which you looked me in the eye as you were hitting me broke my heart. The bruises healed, but I will never forget that contempt. I will never forget how you promised to stay if I jumped through all of your hoops and tried so hard to make it work, like a fool, I admit. But you never intended to stay. The decent thing to do (look up decent in the dictionary, you can find one at the library), would have been to tell me the truth so that I could try to prepare for life alone. But that would have taken courage and you don't have a shred of it.

I accepted your twisted penis with it's rapid fire qualities, I accepted a few affairs. I accepted the life you chose for us, watching the televison as in an effort to assure it was never stolen. When I inhaled next to you, I didn't vomit from the odor and even bought you your first deodorant. I asked you to go to the dentist when your teeth began to get longer from the recession of your gums. You balked at that and didn't even have the decency to brush those teeth on a daily basis. When you did go to the dentist and they gave you the rinse to help with the hideous periodontal disease, you didn't care enough to use that. When you started brushing your teeth and buying mouth wash, it wasn't for me, it was for one of your trashy bimbos who thought nothing of bopping a married man. You watched Dr. Phil and said what bums those men were who cheated on thier wives as you were keeping your own little secrets. You punched holes in our walls and I just sat back and watched you repair them so that no one wouold know what a freak you were. I stayed anyway, I accept full resposibility for that but I have one question, how do you look at yourself in the mirror? I don't mean "How do you keep from cringing at your teeth? but rather, "How do you justify your behavior?"

I didn't ask where the viagra was going and I didn't even realize that when you used me for a toilet for your sperm that you were really only attempting to get off so that you MIGHT last a little longer for your tramps. Why, after decades of calling me your soul mate and telling me that I was the only family that you had, did you leave me when I was too ill to take care of myself? I accepted the anniversary gifts that never came and the fact that you never took me out of the house. How many women would go for that for any length of time? Not many, I assure you. You, your twisted freaked out one eyed wonder worm that is just a tad dysfunctional, and your nasty teeth will not satisfy the type of woman who would accept you and your BS for any length of time. Well, she probably wouldn't mind the nasty teeth, but the other things will grow old sooner or later.

When you said that our sex life was not as "intense" as it used to be, you didn't even realize that you were admitting to having sex with other women (I assume they were women). Well, honeybuns, it takes effort to keep the fire burning and you will never know how to do it as long as you keep leaving when the honeymoon phase of your newest squeeze gets old. A mature relationship of over 20 years can never compare in intensity to the new relationship and sooner or later you will be bored with that one or she will become bored with the Speedy Gonzalez type of sex that you are soooooo good at. I do have one question, why did you do this to me?

Have a lovely day.

To all other people who are cheating, read that very carefully, maybe you will learn something and then you can have the wonderful benefits of sticking out a marriage and the warm, loving feelings that go along with it.

Meg

2 Comments:

Anonymous Lisa said...

Meg,

I think Rick and my ex-to-be are related. Cousins perhaps?

Lisa

P.S. to Uncle Enore:
I found your website. MAN is that some funny stuff!!! :-)

February 13, 2005  
Blogger Uncle Enore said...

LOL...thanks...I just started a bulletan...bulliten...bullatan...bulleten...board...check it out...

http://uncleenore.proboards45.com/index.cgi

February 13, 2005  

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