I just spent a half hour tryiing...

...BRB. Oh well, here's the video I hope. :)





I hope you enjoyed that bit.

It's 1:36 AM and I can no longer think. I only stayed up this late because I get to use the computer and I was doing all of my summer clothes. It took two days to complete the havoc reeked all over.  Yesterday I went I had to wash the clothes that have been around, but today it was just exhaustively so basically, I just spent all that time and that left me with a closet full of slacks on one side, shirts and jammies on the other.
I can't remember the ending of whatever I was saying and that's happened at least 8 times so I'm just going to skee-daddle and hit the hay. :)

They say the Irish are...

...impervious to psycho analysis and I believe it. How can you be psycho analyzed when you weren't raised to discuss a dang 'ol thing? Any discussion I would like to have with my father somehow NEVER happens. I can't give a reason, I just haven't ben able to get a break in a discussion since March.

His peeve du jour was the fact that he asked me "two times" to vacuum the living room. First of all, he only asked me once and I vacuumed that day. Twice. He hadn't said, "The living room looks nice!" so I did it AGAIN. I wanted to perfect the work I had messed up by walking through the living room out to the balcony to water flowers. I'll Take some pictures for you. Anyway, during both vacuuming episodes that day, my father was out of the house so he never saw me do it.

Anyway, my father said that the vacuum cleaner in his bedroom hadn't been touched since he asked me to vacuum. The thing is, we have two.

I'm 15 years old again.

Te laptop Im usin...

...as no working g or h. Whatever spellchecker couldn't fix was painstakingly fixed by copying and pasting the stupid  and h . Anyway, Its not been a bad Mothers Day at all. Oh, the apostrophe is gone too so excuse the lack thereof.
In case there is anyone left who doesn't know that I'm a flake, I offer the proof you need to realize what a nitwit I am.

Last week I went out to shoot pool. Tats wat I do wen I feel like going out. My dad drops me off and I play for a while and then he comes to get me. Waiting for him, I walked over to a nearby laundromat closer to te entrance because there were te outside and it was closer to te feckin entrance. Wen I got ome I realized tat I didn't ave my pool cue. I caisrgt I left it at te laundromat so I went back tere. I walked to te bar and looked were I ad been sitting and asked te bar chick if someone turned it in. Se said no so I went ome. A couple of days later I realized I couldn't find my wallet. I was losing everything I ad.

Te oter day, just for te ell of it, I called te bar again after I printed out MISSINg posters wit a picture of my stick, Rosie. I call er tat because se as roses on te fat end. For no particular reason, I called te bar aain and tey ad it. Se asked me to describe it and ten I went to et er. Ten, I just assumed tat I left my wallet on te oter cair at te laundromat. I ad given up looking for it.

Today I was looking for something else tat I lost. After a couple of ours, just for giggles, I looked in my purse and wat did I find in tat sucker? Wy, my wallet of course. Te one place a woman keeps a wallet is te only place I never looked for it. Later, I found te tird ting I ad lost in a place I ad already looked often...on my desk under a stack of papers. In my defense, I rarely carry a purse. I usually just grab my wallet for ID and stuff, but I rarely carry a purse.

So, I spent 10 days thinking I ad lost a bunch of important stuff wen in reality, I'm just a ding dong. happy MotersDay


I ive up copying and pasting because my back hurts too much to sit at te desk any loner. Back later.

How do you know when...

...it's time to sign off of a internet chat? I hate to annoy people by chatting too much but I don't want to leave anyone thinking that I didn't want to chat with them. I've always been rather sensitive to other people's feelings. Any ideas?

I think I figured out my problem...

...of course it could be my imagination or I could be just plain wrong. But, after spending time with my dad, I remember why I'm nuts. Yesterday he was annoyed at something and he spoke for at least 15 minutes about how my mistake had inconvenienced him. I respect him enough to listen for a long time, but seriously...within reason for God's sake. I think my Xanax wore off at one point of his diatribe and I said, "You had me at 'You fucked up'. Everything else you're saying is superfluous."
He barked, "It's for emphasis! I gently mentioned that the things he says are hurtful. I think he apologized or said "fuck you"... or something like that.

I thought about being a kid and thinking that all his ramblings were evidence that I wasn't good enough for him, or anything else for that matter. I'm surprised I didn't leave for San Francisco to be a hippie sooner than I did. Actually, if I had left sooner, I would have enjoyed the hey-days of Haight Ashbury instead of marrying a marine who got out of the Corp by way of Section 8.

Anyway, I'm doing well...for a suicidal wreck who uses the hope of good stuff to stick around. If I did commit suicide, I would do it where someone I didn't like would find my body. I'd eat a lot of laxatives just to be a bitch.

And they call us stupid.

Dollar to a donut he's bald under that cap.

Get busy living or get busy dying

I've weighed the pros and cons and although I know what's right, I sometimes wonder if I have the strength to do it. I can only count on others for so long and then I see no purpose in existing. People stay around you as long as they can gain something. Unfortunately, I have nothing but myself and my love for my descendants. I have come to the conclusion (with much help) that I am a detriment to the people who I love the most. What is the obvious thing to do?