My fashion decision of the day...

...is which blue jeans to wear and what color tiny t-shirt to wear with them. So, this morning when I saw this link, The annoying fashion mistake you’re probably making I hesitated to check it out...after all, I've been wearing jeans and a t-shirt since 1972 so even if it is a faux pas, I'm not going to stop making it now.

Imagine my surprise when the article actually DID contain a regular occurrence of mine! I'm not sure it's actually a mistake, I don't do it on purpose. But, unfortunately, I am guilty of it. Every morning when I get out of the shower, I towel off and immediately put on deodorant before this Florida heat starts to make me sweat. Then I get dressed and I attempt my most difficult task of the day, getting my stupid shirt on without getting deodorant all over it.

I'm successful about 42% of the time but that leaves me with white stains on the sides of my shirt on most days. I try to towel that off, but it rarely goes away completely. Now, some of you may say, "Silly girl, put the shirt on first and THEN put on the deodorant!" That sounds good but I follow the deodorant up with baby powder and it's hard to get that stuff under your boobs after you're wearing a bra and a shirt. Once again, this is Florida, boob bottoms need powder...not to mention a few points south. And seriously, if you're gonna have deodorant all over your shirt, who cares about a little baby powder?

I also hear some of you touting some new and improved clear deodorant but I'm a cheap SOB so I'm sticking with my Suave. I suppose I could move to France and kill 2 birds with one stone, I wouldn't even have to shave my pits anymore. That is unless France is going the way of women all over America and adding things to shave. When my daughter saw me stepping out of the shower once, she was aghast at the sight of my unshaven "triangle". I took 2 months out of my life trying to decide whether or not to participate in the new fad of bald...triangles. Many of you know I chose against it because I have enough trouble keeping red bumps off of my face, I'm not about to fight THAT particular red bump war. And the itching! Oh my God...the itching! Add all that to the fact that not one man has ever left my bed in disgust after finding my hairy triangle and I decided to keep the hair.

I'm still stuck with my problem of white crap on my shirts but you know what, if I can walk around with a hairy triangle, what the heck difference does a few white stripes make on the sides of my shirt?

If ever I have to go into a nursing home...

...put me here:

The truth shall set you free...

...and I'll be telling a lot of them from now on. First will be the truth about Walter James Lundy. He is still trying to get me to argue with him and in that attempt, he has had Kim Fernandez call me to threaten me with arrest for something that I had nothing to do with.

For a few days a box sat on the coffee table that was addressed to Jim Lundy so we all ignored it. One day Kim opened it up and found a bunch of make-up ordered from QVC. Long story short, Walter is accusing me of ordering the make-up. I never did, of course. If I had, I wouldn't have left it sitting around for days. Besides, that's not where I get my make-up (which I rarely wear anyway).

Walter said that "QVC recorded the order.". That should have been the end of it, obviously it is my opinion that Walter ordered the make-up in order to set me up as he did when he stole 2 grand from his father in order to convince the old man that I had stolen it. When I found proof of Walter's guilt, his father finally believed me. But, he is dependent upon Walter and Walter keeps his father under wraps so that the rest of the family can't get in touch with him. If they did, Jim might want to go live with his sister who, according to Walter, steals everything from his father and even would be willing to have Jim change his will, leaving Walter out.

When Walter sees me, he hollers out threats and other BS, I ignore him, he gets angrier and now he is "going to call the police". There is more to this one, but being in the middle of a lawsuit, I shouldn't discuss it.

Coming soon:

Why the Chinese should never give their girls to Americans.