Sometimes karma takes years...

...to knock a person back a bit but it always seems to do it's job. Personally, I'm counting on it to get my hideous ex back for the cowardly manner in which he ended our marriage. It seems to be working, I've been sent emails about him and he doesn't seem to be winning friends and influencing people lately. But today, karma seems to be on MY ass for something I did in the 80's.

My girlfriend Melissa and I had gone out for a drink after work. We were sitting at the bar at a cute little college hang-out around the corner from my apartment. We stopped by to chat and relax, not to find love for the evening. Whilst we were sitting there talking to each other, a creepy guy sat next to us and started a conversation that no one but he wanted to be part of. I looked at his face and saw a couple of nasty looking sores. I couldn't help but wonder how he had gotten the sores as he tried to engage us in some unwanted form of flirtation. He hadn't yet zeroed in on either one of us so I decided to narrow his options by insulting him. I looked him straight in the eye and said, "Those sores on your face look awfully contagious." Melissa laughed so hard at that comment that he gave up on both of us and just walked away.

That was a nasty comment, but no nastier than the face he used to assault us. Anyway, today I am the yahoo with a nasty face and I won't be going far to celebrate the New Year. For some reason, my face started swelling up the other day and now the entire right half of my face is red and swollen and all I can think of is that young man. I wonder where he is tonight and I wonder if the sores on his face ever healed.

And I also wonder if karma is headed for that cretinous ex of mine this year.

Happy New Years!

Is it me...

...or do emails like this one grate on anyone elses last raw nerve?

Dear Santa, I don't want much for Christmas, I just want the person reading this to be happy. Friends are the fruit cake of life --- some nutty, some soaked in alcohol, some sweet but mix them together and they're my friends . At Christmas you always hear people talking about what they want & bought.
This is what I want: I want people who are sick with no cure, to be cured. I want children with no families to be adopted. I want people to never have to worry about food, shelter & heat. I want peace on earth, goodwill and love for everyone! Now, let's see how many people forward this.
Merry Christmas

And there isn't a thing you can do to prevent them because you really do care for your otherwise intelligent friends and seriously, what are you gonna say, "Please stop sending me those emails about hope and kindness, they make me ill."?

Yeah, I'm a bitch. Sorry about that. But I got nuthin' but love for ya, buddy!

Johnny Cash cover of great Springsteen song!!!

As I've neared...

...the day upon which I kick the bucket, I've noticed some changes to my body, the likes of which I haven't seen since I was wearing the "Grows as She Grows" bra that my mother bought me in 1969.

Most of the changes were expected so, while sad, they weren't at all shocking to my body image. For example, I've heard about gray hair, bad backs and dowager's humps. Also, sadly, I can prove that gravity exists AND earn some Mardis Gras beads at the same time. If I tried to flip you off with my left hand, I would baffle you because arthritis has caused my left middle finger to bend sharply to one side at the knuckle. In addition, oddly, little tiny, itsy bitsy skin tags have begun to grow under my boobs which would have shocked me had I not encountered that special little symptom of female deterioration during my years as a nurse. Frustratingly, no matter how much weight I lose, taekwondo I practice or bike riding I do, I still possess and maintain Oprah arms that shake and wiggle should I wave. Beleaguering though these symptoms may be, none of them have been as perplexing as one odd "body change" that I never saw coming. And I mean that literally, I never saw this change begin and slowly evolve...one day I simply found it in all it's decrepit glory.

The particular change to which I refer is one that involves body hair. I was aware that body hair changes were an option...but I was expecting it to grow on my face or my upper lip. I knew about that possibility because I used to be married to an Italian with a large family that included numerous middle aged and older mustachioed women. But, being the fair Irish woman that I am, my facial hair changes are almost impossible to see so I don't waste time worrying about it. I certainly don't care enough to participate in any painful waxing activities.

(Some body hair is even open to fashion attitudes of the day...apparently pubic hair is currently out of style but once again, it doesn't bother me enough to give someone cash in return for the application of hot wax and severe pain so hairy I remain.)

But, one change involving hair I had never even considered was a change that I noticed relatively recently. To put it bluntly, I am now the unhappy possessor of some seriously virile and audacious toe hair.

I give, bring on the damn wax.

Morrison was right, people ARE strange.

Rick, get lost.

Hillsborough County Florida: A Safe Haven For Stalkers!!!

"Stalking is a term commonly used to refer to unwanted and obsessive attention by an individual or group to another person. Stalking behaviors are related to harassment and intimidation and may include following the victim in person and/or monitoring them via the internet."

"Florida Statutes define stalking as: Any person who willfully, maliciously, and repeatedly follows or harasses another person commits the offense of stalking. This is a misdemeanor of the first degree, punishable by a maximum fine of $1000.00 and or 1 year in jail. Any person who willfully, maliciously, and repeatedly follows or harasses another, and makes a credible threat with the intent to place that person in fear of death or bodily injury, has committed the offense of aggravated stalking, a felony of the third degree, punishable by a maximum fine of $5000.00 and/or 5 years in state prison. To "harass" means to engage in a course of conduct directed at a specific person that causes substantial emotional distress in such person and serves no legitimate purpose."

Those definitions appear to be rather straightforward but if you ask the police for assistance, they will tell you to "change your email address and phone number". When my stalker was sending emails to the wrong email address, he called the police when I didn't respond and accused me of stealing his drugs. As you can see in this email, he even purports to have a "wittness" (sic) who saw me run away with a handful of pills looking like I was eating them all as I ran. In this email, he also threatens to call my children and harass them:

since your sic mind doesnt know the reality of youre brilliant writings on youre blog is evidence of the crime yulling for help. you just stold my prescription meds. you nut calling sheriff tomarrow,its time for reality meg youre a thief tramp,celf centered mental patient. youre babbeling on the blog is one sided thats what you bank
on now the truth is coming out in the light.I have talked to the sheriffs office and the wittness that saw you run.saw you with a hand full of my pills and you acting like you were going to eat them,so phone calls to will,annie,sheriffs office in the am this time youre dun. you arent special, youre sick,you know it. so does everyone else. reality is a bitch now deal with narcotics theft.remember the last time.they werent narcotics these were,family knows everyone will know what a nut you really are.this isnt the internet not one sided you broke the law thats the truth thief,hope you get time in the mental hosp.its where you belong.tried to bate you over today,with zanny and vike but you dident bite you suck. white trash

The Hillsborough County Sheriff's were called after the stalker came to my home, knocking on my door and demanding that I open it to "talk" to him. When I showed the deputies the countless emails where this nutcase threatened suicide, continued harassment and even offered me "zanny and vike" (the drugs he reported that I stole from him, making that report hours after sending this email) they suggested that I change my email address. When my father mentioned the numerous harassing messages that the nut had left on his phone, the police suggested that he change his phone number. We didn't complain that we were receiving emails and phone calls, we complained that a nut was stalking us, harassing us and threatening to stalk and harass everyone we know.

(The nut did eventually contact my ex husband who I never discussed in front of him. But, from reading this blog, he gleaned enough information to be able to find my ex in Montana and engage him in "Isn't Meg a nut?" conversations. My idiot ex took the bait like the jack ass he is.)

So, I've been made aware that the nut has a gun, he has loaded it, he keeps in in plain view so I'm sure to see it should I be fool enough to return to his home after seeing it once. He has threatened suicide in emails to me which I showed the police. What did the men in blue do? They came over here, all three of them men, and treated the silly little female as though she were at fault. Obviously if someone is stalking me using emails, I should change my email address. If I'm receiving threatening and harassing phone calls, I should change my number. Ignoring a nutty stalker only serves to make the fool seek other avenues through which he can continue his behavior. This fool WILL NOT be ignored. After doing so, he knocks on the door...what do I do next, change my address? Perhaps I should brick up the door. If he shoots at me, is it my fault for not wearing a bullet proof vest? That seems to be the logic employed by the local men hired to protect me. I refer to the men in particular because the woman to whom I spoke on the phone was absolutely helpful and quite aware of the danger this nut poses. I guess it takes a man to assume that another man is nothing more than a mere nuisance, a gnat that can be batted away and ignored.

To be fair, Officers Santiago and Herd did offer me a brochure explaining what to do when you're being stalked. It even mentioned emails. But, it never suggested that a victim change their email address. It did say that the emails should be saved. But if you save them and show them to the police, your assistance is an EXTREMELY offensive, "Change your email address." I wonder, when one of these officers encounters an infant with a raging fever, do they drop the kid in ice water? That will tend to cool the baby off, but it really does nothing to address the infection that is actually causing the fever.

I've been dumped in Hillsborough County ice water.

For years I've been...

...coming here and sharing stories about different things with an emphasis on my men du jour, especially the really good ones...and the ones who make me glad I don't identify the most red-flag waving men with whom I come into contact. There have been mashers, ego-maniacs, horny fat bald men...not to mention more than my share of simpletons, alcoholic rednecks and PTSD stricken Viet Nam vets. I'm proud to say that none of them, not even the simpleminded, PTSD stricken alcoholic redneck who I met in Cartersville Georgia...has ever harmed me in anyway, physically, mentally or psychopathically. So, I rarely use real names. As a matter of fact I think I've only done it 2 or 3 times and the last time was years ago. Of course, if I'm discussing a current event from the news, I do use the names previously published. Other than that, it takes an odious, loathsome, evil and malodorous soul to be publicly outed by yours truly.

Well, I'm about to do it again.

Now, I've mentioned CreepyDude and Hoveround-Dude numerous times lately. I never mentioned that they were the same cretin. I wasn't trying to hide anything, obviously...I just never thought twice about it because it really didn't matter a bit. But, at some point, his hoveround habits seemed outweighed by his creepiness...hence, the change in moniker. In case you missed some of the largest, brightest and most odoriferous red flags, let me list a few for you.

---He delivered the worst line I've ever heard......(and I've been listening since the late 60's):"It'll only take 5 minutes, I just need relief. "

---Numerous conversations of this ilk:

He: Could you look up Norelco?
Me: Give me a minute, I'm in the middle of writing a sentence.
He: But all I need is for you to..."
Me: I can't now, I'm in the middle of a train of thought."
He: This won't take long.".
Me: Let me finish this, it'll just take a minute..."
He: All I need is for you to order 2 parts!"
Me: LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!
He: Why do you always have to yell?

---He offers to buy me a car but bitches EVERY SINGLE TIME I walk out the door...any door.

---He visited me in the hospital, against my wishes, unannounced and said he HAD to because I wouldn't answer his phone calls.

---When I ignore him long enough he does malicious, iniquitous and fiendish things designed to punish me for not responding to his phone calls, shouts (OF MY NAME!!!) across the condo complex and emails, most of which he sends to the wrong email address. He just can't get mine right no matter how many times he sends it to innocent, unexpecting chicks with Gmail accounts and names similar to mine. The last two times I ignored him completely for any length of time, he has sunk to calling the local sheriff to accuse me of breaking and entering his condo and robbing him. He even told one deputy that I pinched his sad-ass homegrown quality bag-O-weed. Most recently, he sent an officer to my door last week accusing me of robbery again. (I think it was robbery, they didn't arrest me and appeared to be as embarrassed as I was. The poor flat-feet are only doing their jobs.)

---He calls OVER AND OVER again when he sees my father drive out of the complex. Dad's never gone more than 5 minutes or so before the phone rings which shows me that he is staking out my father, or at least his car. For some stupid reason, when my father isn't here, he calls from one cell phone...and when my father IS here, he calls from another one as though my father didn't figure it out after 2 or 3 calls.

---He "bought" me a dog. But...since I didn't have my license with me, we had to use his for the purchase but the dog was put in both of our names. While I was in the hospital, he kept the dog for me and when I got out, he wouldn't let me have him. When I left, he asked what he was supposed to do with "my dog" as though my exit was tantamount to abandoning the poor little guy. I told the nut to give me the dog and he said, "No, you'll take him to the condo with 1 white guy and 3 "n****rs" who run that crack house in B5.". I said I didn't know what he was talking about, I've never even SEEN crack (seen plenty of other stuff, but never, ever have I seen crack). But there wasn't a thing I could say, he had an hallucinatory, quixotic and condemnatory retort for any posture I assume.

---As further castigation for attempting to get this maniacal dullard as far from me and my life as possible, he told me that, "If I don't stay with him, my dog will die." He didn't actually say HE would kill the dog, but the potential occurred to me.

---He lied to me about his age and about 99.99998389 % of everything else he's ever told me.

---When he shops at Best Buy, he walks all over that big store. They don't always have motorized carts with little baskets so he just has to ramble on over to the furthest reaches of the store. BUT...when we shot into the grocery store to get one thing that I walked straight to, I had to wait forever for him to find me after he darted off, unbeknownst to me, to jump on his ride and meander over to the dishwashing liquid aisle. My patients roll around in those suckers, not men who should be trying to impress me.

---He parks in the handicapped spot even if there's an empty spot for anyone immediately to the left of the gimp spot. He can't even save the handicapped spot for someone with a REAL disability who might come along and actually NEED the spot.

---He has offered these incentives should I agree to be with him:

1. His elderly parents will die soon, he needs someone to help spend him inheritance.
2. I would get him, a "pretty good catch, it's not like he "doesn't know how good looking" he is.
3. He has promised me a car in the past but all I want is the freedom to walk away, barring that a car is useless to me.
4. He won't follow through on the plan he "developed with the sheriff's department" to deliver the SWAT Team to the "crack house" I've been "seen" frequenting.
5. A new pair of glasses, Christmas gifts for my kids, a "wonderful life" where I don't have to worry about a thing.

---He told me that he has a gun because lately so many people are messing with his happiness so yeah, he's gonna carry the gun in case anyone gets in his way. That was today, last week he mentioned off-handedly that, "I decided that I should load my gun so, just so you know...it is loaded." Then, one day when I went over to try to get my dog, he got upset when I wouldn't cross the threshold. He chose that moment to mention that he had started keeping his gun handy as he pointed to it. It was on a dining room table less than 5 feet from the front door which was open so I had a clear view of the gun. I quickly bolted and haven't returned.

---As a result of my constant rebuffs, rejections of his "offers", rebukes and refusals, he sent me the following email that I copied and pasted directly from the email to this post:

"iam ready to take all my pain plls think that will help me i do cya"

---He drove around the complex and when he saw me sitting in the shade of our Florida room, he shouted out, "CUNT!!!" I laughed because I was the only person who knew it was for me. All the other neighbors just had to wonder why a 63 year old man was driving around, alone in his car, shouting obscenities out the window.

---When he couldn't get in touch with me, he went to my girlfriends condo harassing her. She told me that he knocked on every door in her building (she's the only chick) and a few other doors around the complex (where other men live) accusing the occupants of "harboring" me. (Harboring was his word, hence the quotes.)

As stupid as it might sound, I actually had a good reason for associating with him. (Well, I thought it was a good reason at the time.) And, if I ever finish recording my walk on the "act like a child" side, it just might benefit me in some way. Anyway, I'll explain that some other time. That rationale doesn't remove my responsibility for what has happened...I'm aware of that. But, I hope my reasons mitigate my culpability to some extent.

I've been trying to give him as little information as possible so that he couldn't harass as many people as he could if he knew more about me. He's also made it clear to me that anyone I care about, may care about or ever have cared about is not at all safe from his wrath. But, even as I was trying to protect, myself, my family, my friends and other people who have nothing to do with this pathetic situation...he did find this blog. And what he did after that is what will get him the honor of being publically outed as the degenerate, miscreant and all around reprehensible loser that he is.

I had foreseen a few potential acts of treacherous behavior. I knew about the gun. I knew he was manipulating me using the love my dog and I have for each other and the concern I have for Butkis when I'm not with him. I knew he had embarrassed me in front of people I've never met when he disturbed their lives in a most unpleasant manner. I knew he had intruded upon every aspect of my life that I ever mentioned to him. But, today I found out that he has been communicating with my ex-husband and pathetic members of his family who have nothing better to do than to communicate with a potentially dangerous, obviously unbalanced misfit as long as it means meddling in my life. So, since my ex and the aberrant nitwit that I foolishly associated with seem to enjoy chatting with others who know me, perhaps some of you might be interested in contributing. Here is Walt's Facebook link, feel welcome to accuse me of things I've never done, call me some undeserved names and be sure to give him lists of my current activities. Don't worry if you don't have a clue what I've been up to, veracity is not required in his games. If you friend the nut, you can even keep up with his self-serving babbles.

Walt Lundy
rick i live in tampa fla and think i have met youre x wife,meg kelso . i have heare her bash you , cuss you for a while, i was dateing her over the summer,i wanted to find out if she has severe mental, drug problems,we are not seeing eachother any more as she has broken into my condo, stole my nerve pills sleeping pills and recently she robbed me for my pain meds. called sheriffs if youre the rick in montana or out west i sure would like to talk to you i really think shes a timebomb, please reply if youre the guy thanks walt

Rick Kelso
Hey Walt, Yes I am the guy, sorry to hear what she did to you. Wow it's really hard to believe she is still bashing me after almost 7 years, i forgave her a long time ago. I would suggest to stay far away from her as possible as she can be very vendictive.

Walt Lundy
does she have mental problems? drug dependance all she talked about is she needed her zanex and she would be fine right, she ran off half crazy

Rick Kelso
She hasn't learned to forgive so the drugs take the place. Course I smoke a lot of weed myself.

Walt Lundy
youre right thanks

Here's Walt's Facebook link:

http://www.facebook.com/walterjlundy

Today I found out...

...that CreepyDude knows how to get here and read what I wrote. I asked if anything was "untrue" and he had to admit that nothing I had written was false. So, now I know he found my little rant rag. After a bit of thought, I decided not to let his discovery color what I write here. So, on with the latest report of his actions that leave me jaw dropped and head shaking.

I walked away (to be more accurate, I RAN away) from him recently after I tried to leave his place and he refused to allow me egress so I did the best thing I could think of at the moment, I shouted for help and ran out the back door before he could stop me. Now, most people would take that as a hint that perhaps a relationship is souring a tad. Not CreepyDude...he saw that as a "snag in the relationship".

Before I continue, let me say that I had considered the fact that I would look like a jack-ass for participating in this odd behavior. I thought that perhaps I should keep it all to myself and never admit to any of this. But, then it occurred to me that I've admitted to other stupid stuff so what the heck...perhaps someone will learn something from my antics. So, here it is.

A snag can be fixed and CreepyDude is attempting to fix this one. After I escaped he left me alone for a short time and then he began his efforts to de-snag our relationship. His first efforts were reruns...he waited until my father left and tried calling in an attempt to catch me alone. Thanking the tech gods for caller ID, I easily avoided those annoying tidbits. So, he came up with a better idea. This morning he stopped outside of the condo, honked his horn, shouted my name and basically embarrassed me immensely but I couldn't let that work for him lest he begin doing it on a regular basis.

I got myself dressed and went into the kitchen where my father and I were having a lovely chat when CreepyDude came up and knocked on my door. He caught me off guard and my first reaction was to leave my father to deal with him alone but I quickly decided that Dear Old Dad had done nothing to deserve that so I opened the door myself and quickly walked outside to lessen the effect on my innocent father. CreepyDude wanted to "talk" so I said, "Go ahead and talk."

That wasn't good enough for him, he wanted me to go to his place and chat there. I told him that I wasn't in the mood to be kidnapped and that I had things to do. That's true, I told my dad I would dismantle his screen door and clean it. But, I knew that I had escaped his place so quickly that I left a few things over there so I had to go get them anyway. That's how I ended up back at the scene of the crime.

Once I got there, he began to argue his case. He lacks the self confidence that is required of one who wants to be cared about for himself alone so he feels the need to ply me with things that he thinks I (or any other woman) would want. This is not new, he has promised me a car in the past but all I want is the freedom to walk out the door, barring that a car is useless to me. What was new was his offer. I'm paraphrasing somewhat here, but the point (and most of the words) are accurate:

He: The other day my mother's nurse took her blood pressure and it was 150/130 so he called the doctor to find out what he should do. You know, my parents won't be around much longer. When they go I'll be left with their condo, my condo and 3 cars. I need someone to help me spend the money.

Now, it's true that his parents are old (89 and 90) but they are lovely people and despite the spike in blood pressure, they could potentially be around for a good while. Of course, even if they died tomorrow, I wouldn't behave like a vulture, circling around waiting for their financial carrion.

Next he told me that he wanted to marry me so that "everything will be mine". Now, it IS true that I have been known to say that my next husband will be rich and extremely close to death, but "rich" is a relative term and "extremely" is the operative word in that phrase. I can't imagine how much cash it would take to get me to marry a man who is still walking and driving around town. I suppose if the man were somewhat pleasant, I might be able to wait a while for his demise. But, that is NOT the case here. Besides, this is just the type of person who would get me disinherited from every will I may or may not be in on my own.

Well, I did get out of that conversation with my belongings and my freedom but I am sure that I have not heard the last of CreepyDude so stay tuned.