Either I'm having a run...

...on hoarders or the problem is all over and exploding. If you try to clean anything in a hoarder's home, there WILL be a negative altercation. That is because, as everyone knows, the first thing to go is the trash. Herein lies the problem. People have differing ideas on what is considered trash. At a friend's house, I tried to throw away party favors, like those stupid hats with rubber bands, the blow thingies and napkins. You'd have thought that I had kidnapped one of her kids. Her youngest is 10 and wouldn't be caught dead wearing a rubber band hat and the entire household had their birthdays in the previous 6 months and no one asked, "Don't I get those blow thingies? I want to toot."

That was a while back. But hoarding has reared it's ugly head again. This is a conversation that I just had:

Me: "Wait a minute, I'll give you the bucket to throw away after I fill it with trash."

Hoarder: "I'm not throwing away that bucket."

Me: "Why not?"

Hoarder: "It's a good bucket."

Me: "We can go out and drink 6 more beers and get another one if we need it."

Hoarder: "But it's a perfectly good bucket."

Me: "A lot of stuff is perfectly good AND garbage. We can't keep everything we think we may use in the after-life."

I THINK I won that one, the bucket seems to be gone. But, you never know, I could find it under a sink. Anyway, hoarders are annoying.

Wisdom of the guilty

1. After years of people treating you as though they don't care what happens to you, you get out of the habit of acting like a person who is cared about.

2. Vow to stop apologizing for things you did in the 80's.

3. Over which of the following do you have control:

a. It was what it was.
b. It is what it is.
c. What will be, will be.

4. It is a social impossibility for any mutual negativity to result from the action of one person. Like a tango, it takes two.

5. At what age does a "child" receive the common courtesy one offers a stranger on the street?

6. The Golden Rule contains no exception for family.

7. Love through good times is a gift. Love through rough times is a responsibilty.

8. The true malcontent is the one who slings the most arrows.

9. Denying one's self of the opportunity for communication is more destructive than any wrongdoing. It is an absolutely essential ingedient in the recipe for a happy life.

10. You can apologize for something, but you can never heal the injury. That's not easy for ANYONE to live with. It's called being human.

In case you were unaware...

...flashing your lights to warn other drivers of a speed trap is considered freedom of speech and, in Florida anyway, will no longer get you a ticket. That's not to say that the idiotic state legislature won't change the law if they get a chance, but for now, flash away.

It seems as though Republican office holders think that they have to out-nasty each other to win votes from "conservatives". They are missing the entire point of being a conservative. True conservatives want the government out of our lives, not controlling them.

Well...

...I no longer have a boyfriend that I don't like. I had to get rid of him because he annoyed my father.

My father didn't like the nature of the phone calls, one of which Dad overheard. We both answered the phone at the same time and only I spoke, not aware that Dear Old Dad was on the other line. Then Hoveround Dude started asking me for sex and offering me one tantalizing tidbit after another. I kept trying to hang up the phone and then leave it off the hook but I couldn't hang up on him because there was another phone in the house that was off the hook. So, Dad got to hear Hoveround Dude making more offers than usual, because I couldn't hang up the stupid phone.

The next day, when the phone rang, my father told HD not to call here anymore. That freaked out HD and he decided to get back at ME...so he called the cops and said that...now read this clearly so you fully understand the ramifications of what he did...he reported me for "stealing his pot". Of course, I didn't do that. He had given me a roach which I had emptied into a bowl. My father asked me if I had anything that he had given me and I, being an honest person, had to tell my father the truth.

"Yes, dad, I have some weed."

He told me to flush it down the toilet and I said that I could, but I didn't know the Florida laws regarding paraphernalia. So, my father said that he would get rid of the bowl. But, he wasn't going to leave for a little bit so I asked him if I could just smoke the rest of the shit instead of flushing it. He didn't mind.

So, now Dad has to take the bowl and dump it in the drink. I recognized the situation as a caper and told my father what a cool caper it was. Although the humor wasn't as obvious to my father as it was to me, he did handle it well.

Soon the cops came to the door and wanted back the cell phone HD gave me when Dad told him to stop calling the house phone. I gave it back and then went to my room and opened the window to hear what the cops were doing. There were two of them out there, one who had come to speak to me and one who stayed with HD. The one who stayed with HD told the other cop that HD couldn't believe that they wouldn't arrest me for stealing his pot. They both laughed and then drove away.

Then, I went to bed, woke up and watched the Bears win. It was a swell weekend.

Bloomberg is an idiot

Mayor Bloomberg is refusing to allow clergy people and cops at the memorial service Sunday. He is calling on the "constitutional right of separation and church and state". That is nowhere in the constitution, maybe Bloomberg should be sent a copy of it. What the Constitution actually says, pretty much sounds like the Founding Fathers actually would have wanted those people there:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

My First Political Cartoon

This took me hours, I made it a la South Park. Finally, here it is. Whew!

Stalin had his 5 Year Plans.
Mao had his Great Leap Forward.
Obama has his Stimulus Plans.

What did they all have in common?

A. They had NO business experience.
B. They all failed.
C. The first to return to capitalism is the most successful (China).