I woke up on my couch, wondering...


..."What time is it?"

Ordinarily it's dark outside when I wake up so I was confused when I saw that it was light out. I had been up for an hour before I remembered WHY I slept so long. I spent the night in the hospital.

Yesterday I noticed several faces around my couch and they were mostly speaking to me. I wasn't quite trusting of the faces, as a matter of fact, they scared the hell out of me. I didn't recognize ANY of them. They were asking simple enough questions but for some reason, I couldn't answer any of them. So, I just stared at them. I don't know why but I did.

Then a familiar face came into the mix. I couldn't put a name to that face either. But they seemed to want to take me with them and I couldn't really argue with them so I went.

By the time I got to the hospital, I knew why we were going, I'd just had a grand mal seizure while at the computer. I don't remember anything from the seizure, nor do I remember what happened right before it started. Actually, yesterday is a bit of a fog.

While I was in the hospital, they gave me some IV sedation because I ran out of xanax and it was the weekend so I couldn't get it filled until Monday. The doc (Dr. John Knox...a very, very kind and decent man, not to mention an excellent doc. I've seen him many times but as funkified as I looked, he didn't recognize me.) said that you can get seizures if you suddenly stop taking xanax. I didn't think it would do any harm over the weekend.

So, as I finally remembered this morning, yesterday wasn't a great day for me. I remember being wobbly on my feet which was probably from the meds he gave me. He put some ativan in an IV to get it into my bloodstream as quickly as possible. Then, he gave me another presciption for xanax.

And then, I must have gone to bed because when I woke up this afternoon, I couldn't believe how late it was. There's only one problem...I don't know what I did with those prescriptions the doctor gave me. I'm sure they're around here somewhere.

I'm afraid of my brain.

Uh oh, I've met a bright liberal...

...who is as wrong as he can be but when it comes to politics, his critical thinking skills disappear along with his scientifically open mind.

I belong to no particular party, I simply have opinions on issues like everyone else. But, I don't suffer from the need to worship any other human, be he a religious, political or musical God. And I certainly would never think to use degradation of another as my main talking point in a political or religious powwow of any kind. I can't imagine when I WOULD use degradation of another...unless of course the other is my lying, cheating, SOB of an ex husband.

When my electricity was out earlier this month, I did a lot of reading, mainly during the day of course. I happened to read two books about Reagan one week and I made a couple of allusions to him. For some reason the response I received was, "Everybody knew he had Alzheimer's while he was in office." I knew that if Reagan DID have Alzheimer's in office, it was early and no one knew about it. He was an old man and we old people do old people stuff. There's nothing wrong with that. Last week I found my purse in the lettuce bin. Do I have Alzheimer's? Who knows. But my verbal sparring partner went back over 20 years to when big hair was in, straight men danced in pink shorts in videos and Peewee Herman was still just a playful character just to find one point. He brought back some declarations that could never be proven or disproven.

Then he took them and entered them into a discussion about current events. What do you do when you're confronted with something stupid like that? I don't even know how to respond because it isn't one of the many things I've pondered over the years.

When things like that happen during a political discussion and not so subtle digs are made at those with whom I concur on any given issue, I realize that I am entering a "battle of the wits with an unarmed person". That pretty much ends any further serious discussion on my behalf.

I can see this behavior evoking emotional responses from some people, especially nutty women. He HAS to know that a heated argument is an option but he doesn't seem to mind. I must be terribly disappointing to someone attempting to pick a fight or make me angry because there just isn't much that I care about enough to bicker about or get emotional over. But still, many men have tried in vain to "get my dander up" and although they can be a minor irritant, they don't really get the reaction they're looking for so I win by simply limiting my exposure to such irritants.

You know, sometimes I think that I'm a bright woman but when I see men using blatant and poor manipulation techniques, I feel like a fricking genius. Especially when the man is well educated and can honestly claim some rather haughty accomplishments. But, when it comes to political discussion, he can't help himself...he MUST attack Republicans because he thinks that I am one. Whatever. I've met rednecks who made more sense than a liberalista who is consistently on the offense and more narrow-minded than a Democrat in 1956 Mississippi.

The party of segregation no longer despises black people openly but they can't overcome their intense desire to place themselves above someone...anyone. They've chosen Republicans and they justify the "viewism" that they practice in many varied ways but few of the ideas hold up to any degree of scrutiny.

Rude politicians like Harry Reid make unnecessary rude comments about Barbara Bush in a book and that's OK. But, had Newt Gingrich countered with Obama mama cracks, he would be pelted with tomatoes and demonized as a racist hypocrite. The last successful demonization of one group of people by another group of people resulted in the Holocaust. I never understood how the Germans could be so mislead but when I see a liberalista or a right wing fanatic, I start to see how it could be done.

Those Japs are...

...some funny mother fuckers. Ashton Kutcher ain't got nothin' on these "peaceful under embarrassment" victims of some hideous pranks:

http://www.break.com/index/japaneseprank9.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zc8VSo03T_c

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bYEeMb1g2U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWrE_E9SOhk&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYKDMBfuxDk&NR=1

Things that bug the hell out of me...today

'My Life Has Been Ruined' ...said a teenager convicted of sexting. What a stupid idea it is to felonize our youth. It's a shame that they don't portray teen sex as a crime...you can touch, but you better not look!

Giant Blob Found Deep Beneath Nevada...well, there had to be something out there. I've been to Nevada, there's nothing on top of the dirt.

Mother Gets 3 Months for Hitting Sex Offender with Baseball Bat Ya see? This is why women should be in charge. This woman should be given a medal. If she hit an Iraqi dude with a bat, she would be commended by the President of the United States of America. If more sex offenders were hit with baseball bats, there wouldn't be so many sex offenses.

Drew Peterson Calls Radio Show From Jail, Suggests 'Win a Conjugal Visit He may or may not have been serious, but if I showed up at his cell on visiting day...he'd do me. What possible reason could a woman have for NOT dating/screwing this guy? He'll find some ditz somewhere. In that way he's sort of like the Hugh Hefner of the wife murdering set...no matter how fat, old and dangerous he gets, there's always a line of idiots volunteering to be his next victim.

California Allowing Gay, Lesbian Conjugal Visits for Inmates I can't imagine the meeting where this was OK'ed. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when they addressed the fact that gays and lesbians are the last people to need a conjugal visit in prison.

I SEE YOU!

So...

...THIS is the first day of the rest of my life? Damn. I'm sweating from the Georgia heat and it isn't even 9 AM. This day might be a bad day to start living. But, since I could get hit by an airplane just sitting here in my dining room tomorrow, maybe I should make a plan.

I wonder what room people are usually in when planes hit them in their houses? I also want to know the low risk areas which I would think should include my crawlspace but I don't go there. I would, but I'm a girl and we hate spiders and snakes. And yes, I'd rather get hit by a plane than to go in that crawlspace. If you were in the room when I got my first MRI, you'd understand my reaction to extreme fear. If YOU were hiding in my crawlspace, you'd kick my ass out.

The same goes for my attic. Anne Frank wouldn't have lasted until lunch with me up in that attic. My reaction to the first spider would get the attention of every Nazi in Germany.

See how my mind works? I start out planning the rest of my life and I end up in Nazi Germany. That COULD be an omen.

But as soon as I change subjects, I won't care anymore.

OK then...last night I passed out on the couch while I was THINKING about having a Margarita. I didn't even open the bottle of Cuervo...I just THOUGHT about it and I was out until this morning. God forbid I should drink any of the stuff.

See, this is the time for me to drink. If I wanted to drink at all, I would have to do it in the mornings. But most people frown upon that sort of thing and I may want to drive somewhere so I must refrain for now. Of course, I could just go back to bed, wake up after 5 PM and knock back a few.

But, that's probably not a good thing to do on the first day of the rest of my life although, if I chose to be a drunk, that'd be the right thing to do. No, I can't be a drunk...I pee too much already. I would just be a urine odor waiting to happen. Damn it.

Maybe a cokehead? I can dismiss that out of hand because I couldn't afford to be a cokehead. On top of that, I wouldn't know where to get cocaine. Well, if someone dared me, I could probably find it...but I hate jail and heart attacks so I won't.

I totally missed the Ecstasy thing so I don't even know what the hell that is much less where to find it. Same with crack. I could walk past a huge pile of that stuff and I would just think, "That's a dumb place for rocks." Of course, I'm assuming that it looks like rocks...if not I'd think something else but it would never occur to be to get a pipe and smoke the "rocks".

I did try acid a bazillion years ago but that was no fun. I was fishing off a dock and I puked in the lake after eating some sort of acid. I'm not sure who was more messed up, me or the ducks that ate the acid filled puke.

Acid is like eating shrooms, I only did that once. I thought I was having a lot of fun until my date put in the movie Good Morning Viet Nam. I was doing just fine until the scene where the restaurant blew up. I took it rather hard because of the shrooms. I chose never to touch those suckers again either...especially after I learned from where they came.

So, as compared to others of the era in which I grew up, I didn't do too badly. I was rather enamoured with marijuana because nothing bad ever happened as a result of smoking it...ever. The only bad thing that can happen is jail and that's not because of the wacky tobacky, it's because of William Randolph Hearst and bigotry. The poor little plant didn't ask to be illegal.

Ah, I know...I'll campaign for Obama's second campaign...IF he decriminalizes marijuana federally. I'll get that little sucker re-elected and I could do it simply by being Meg Marijuanaseed. Like Johnny Appleseed, I'll travel the country planting all the seeds that my ex saved for years. And you'd see a voting revolution like you've never seen if every politician in the country promises to treat weed like gays in the military...don't ask, don't tell.

I am 100% sure that people underestimate the numbers of quiet little pot smokers out there. And if you did legalize the stuff, people wouldn't be so upset about the economy because pot will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no pot.

Anyone who doesn't think that the numbers are out there simply has to look for all the Marijuana stores springing up like McDonald's did 50 years ago. In one Los Angeles neighborhood not too far from West Hollywood, 6 new pot stores opened within the last 6 months. That's in addition to the stores that were already there 6 months ago. There has to be some serious cash coming in to someones pockets.

Well, if you want to run for an office in this country, I dare you to call for a Ganja King on every corner.

Even if my date...

...is a socially responsible gentleman, something always screws me up after I go out with someone. This time I had a great time and never once had to play defense. Of course, that brings out the affectionate side of me so I did grab a knee here or there. But that was on me.

I guess today's problem is on me as well. Saturday night I went to a family bar-b-que with a date and had a wonderful time. People brought guitars and bongo's. The guitars were played but no one would volunteer to play the bongo. I hadn't had nearly enough to drink to pull off a bongo solo but I did have enough to sing. Now remember, I can't sing and as everyone knows, if you can't sing well, it always sounds better if you sing louder. Try it. Even without booze it works.

So, I sang right out loud. Yep, I sure did.

But that's not the problem. It may be A problem, but it isn't THE problem. THE problem is that I haven't gone anywhere since then, I didn't drive and I paid no attention to car keys. I'm not used to having car key responsibility. After looking everywhere I could possibly think to look, I called Mr. Saturday night who was in the shower at the time. I tried not to think of the guy naked as he spoke to me and I asked him if he had seen my keys.

Well, he didn't get out of the shower quickly to check, but after he got himself clothed, he found them under the passenger seat. Of course he was showering because he was on his way to work and he can't bring me my keys until much later, so much later that he doesn't even know when. "Sometime today." is the only promise I got from him and that's sort of vague. Anyway, I guess I can find something to do...sleep is always good.

I have a car but I can't get at it!

OK...

...I wonder if I can tell you this entire story in one post? I'll try. It was one of those situations during which, as it was happening, I began to think, "Oh man, this is gonna make some serious blog posts." So, as I knew I would whilst it was happening, I'm going to tell you a bit of the story right now.

First let me set the scene a bit. Although it's almost gone, I've been harboring a nasty cold sore of the right side of my mouth for the past week. This guy, who I'll call "SSI Dude", had been coming to get me every view days, taking me to his lovely home, making me lovely dinners and serving me cocktails.

Thursday night, SSI Dude was pretty much not speaking to me, rather he was spending the entire evening on the computer. At one point I mentioned his odd attitude and he responded by saying that he "was a bit miffed" because I kissed him on the cheek after assuring him that my sore was past the contagious phase and besides, I only kissed him in front of his ear so I know he was good. We didn't swap spit or anything like that. Not until shortly before he took me home did he tell me why he was behaving so poorly...he thought that I had given him a cold sore. All he had was a small bruise on his lower lip and it went away with 24 hours so by the next evening, he knew that he had made a mistake in accusing me and another in coming all the way to my house just to bring me to his house where he could ignore me and I couldn't leave.

Then, the next night, he wanted to bring me back over to his house and asked what I would be drinking. I asked what he had and he said cheap Vodka and expensive everything else. I wasn't in the mood for any more of his Crystal Light/Vodka drinks and I don't care for red wine. I suggested we stop at the store to get a bottle of Coke because his mixer collection is either discolored or was purchased in the 1980's. As we were driving back to his place (and I was waiting for him to stop and get some Coke), he made a comment that took me aback quite a bit. He actually said:

"Don't drink all of my good stuff like the Crown Royal."

Now, I've had much better in life than that. But the only thing I saw that I wanted right then was something that I've had a hundred times, for special occasions as well as ordinary drinking times...rum and coke. It wasn't my fault that all he had was Bacardi. And, I would wager that well over half of my rum and cokes were made with Bacardi. But his Bacardi rum happened to be from Mexico, with a Mexican stamp on it and everything. He wanted me to be "careful" with that bottled because it was some sort of "special rum from Mexico and very expensive". Actually my options consisted of the cheap, cheap, cheap vodka that he was drinking or ANYTHING else in the cabinet.

First of all, it was an ordinary bottle of Bacardi and it wasn't even 151. Then, I opened the bottle and saw crystallised rum indicating that it had been there for "years". When I asked him, he said, "Yeah, it's 4 years old." An old bottle of mostly consumed 4 year old rum and he didn't want me to drink much of it. I guess you never know when you might have a lady for whom you care over for the evening.

Now, remember, on the way to his place I had asked for Coke. So, after hearing his offensive comments assuring me that I am not quite up to par with the sort of guests that he would serve the "good stuff"...I was so stunned that I forgot about the Coke and so did he. When we got back to his place he said, "Oh! I'm sure I have Coke somewhere here." He proceeded to hand me cans of Diet Coke, Caffeine Free Coke and Sprite. I guess he was doing his darndest to avoid leaving the house for me and he even tried this gem, "My financial situation has been bad lately, I can't really afford to be drinking good stuff." To which I responded, "THIS STUFF'S ALREADY PAID FOR!"

In all my years on Earth, any man who has taken me on a date would have been delighted to run to a close store and get me some Coke. This guy did everything to avoid it. It was like dating a Middle-Easterner.

Eventually of course, my silence as I sipped ice water FINALLY got through to him and he ran out to get some Coke so that I could enjoy my Friday evening.

I thought that he was simply drinking wine and maybe he was but he seemed to get rather tipsy rather quickly. He asked me to "Show me your boobs!" and other various and sundry parts of me. I wanted to ask his legal opinion about a potential case, because he's a professor of law. Before he answered, he walked over to me and started to pull my pants down so that he "could watch that pussy" as he answered my questions. I went the other way, I kept them up.

Anyway, I'm not a total ignoramus when it comes to legal issues so I knew the most obvious tact regarding my legal dilemma. The problem was that the obvious tact wasn't an option. So, I asked if he had any other ideas.

I was blown away. He spent the next 2 hours telling me the benefits of going with the original tact and how good he was at convincing people to do something they never wanted to do in the first place. There wasn't a damn thing that I could do to make him stop trying to convince me that my original idea was best, no matter how many times I told him it was NOT an option. I wanted to slap him on the side of the head. I had to take a pill.

He had obviously had a bit too much of the drink to be driving and I didn't have my car so even if I knew HOW to get home from there, I couldn't have done it.

So, I flopped on the couch and listened as my creepy date swapped IM's and pics back and forth on the computer in the next room. That's where I woke up in the morning.

Then, when I got home, a guy whom I haven't seen in a few months showed up to surprise me with a gift. That was so sweet! So, when I decide to invite someone to my place for dinner and a movie, guess who'll be coming to dinner?

I don't know if...

...I'm just really good at reading people or if people are just really bad at manipulating me but I can pick up on the most subtle sign of manipulation that is ever aimed at me. I was on the receiving end of a barrage of sly little insults, none of which had anymore effect on me than would a 4 year old who stuck his tongue out at me. It's good for a lot of reasons, self protection being a biggie. But it's an absolute deal breaker because of the childish nature of most of the little arrows sent straight at my self esteem.

I spent last evening with a very bright man. He is a scientist, he has a law degree, he taught law for years and he holds several patents on numerous inventions of his own. But when it comes to petty banter, he isn't any smarter than a high school junior who wants to annoy a female. We all have our own particular genius and mine is reading people. Obviously it doesn't always work, I did marry a bum after all. But when there aren't as many feelings involved, the verbal cherry bombs are as easy to identify as a raspberry sprayed in your face.

I have to deal with this guy now but I'll be back to tell you how I spent my night...and it's an interesting story, especially how I ended up sleeping on the couch.

BBS.

At this very moment...

...there is a dude outside sitting in a beemer waiting for me. What he doesn't know is this is the night that I'm going to assess his ass and everything else with the brains God gave me. Come back soon...chances are I'll be telling you another hideous man story but there's always that possibility that Prince Charming will show himself.

LMAOROFL...yeah right.

Meg

When I sit down...

...to write something in the morning, I usually hope to make people smile. But sometimes stupid stuff annoys the heck out of me and I have to tell you about it. When possible I try to make my rantings amusing but it's not always easy to do. Let's see what I can to with the reporting of serial killers.

This morning I was listening to the news and I heard the following sentence, "The DNA has been matched to the murder of 6 women, 5 of them prostitutes." I have no idea what the last woman did for a living, but apparently it isn't salacious enough to mention. No one wants to hear, "The victim worked at the local McDonald's."

When I was a kid, the news ALWAYS referred to black victims as "colored victims". If there was no mention of race in a report, you could be assured that the people involved were white. Race was ONLY mentioned in a news report if the victim or perpetrator wasn't white. I think I was about 8 when I picked up on that odd little praxis. It made no sense to me but I was only 8, maybe there was something that I didn't know.

Later in life I noticed that movies, TV shows, and the media NEVER do anything without a reason. It may not be clear right away, but eventually you see why the the leading lady cut her finger. Nothing is done simply for the sake of doing it.

I can think of one reason that the media described black people involved in a crime as "colored" or "Negro". At the time the media was perpetuating the notion that blacks are somehow different than white people. Can you think of any other possible reason to mention race in a news report? It may be a pertinent fact but more often than not, it was mentioned for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Were we supposed to hear that "A colored man was shot last night." and think to ourselves, "Oh, for a minute there I thought, that's so sad. Thank the Lord they told us it was only a colored guy."?

Which brings me back to the serial killer and his 5 prostitute victims....what does the fact that the victims were hookers add to the story? If they had gone into detail and were discussing the actual crimes, it might have been pertinent. But the way it was tossed into a report about DNA, it served no purpose at all. And, as I said before, there is ALWAYS a reason for what the media does. What reason could they have for mentioning the job of a prostitute but not the job of a non-prostitute?

Are we supposed to react the same way when a prostitute is murdered as we did in the 1960's when a black man was murdered? Are we supposed to think to ourselves, "Oh, well they were only hookers, they were begging to be raped and murdered."? If not, why would they mention it at all?

Of course there are times when the job of a victim is a pertinent fact in the commission of a crime just as it's occasionally pertinent to mention the race of the victim. Years ago, the media stopped mentioning race unless it added something relevant to the story being reported. And newspapers did away with Help Wanted ads for "Females" that were separate from the Help Wanted ads for "Males" decades ago. It's a shame that prostitutes can't organize. In today's age of political correctness, I doubt it would take more than one decent sized protest to put a stop to the useless practice of mentioning the jobs of murder victims, but only if they are hookers.

I'm sitting here wishing...

...that I had a reason to get in my car and drive down the highway with the top down but I'm still as broke as I can be so there isn't any justification for wasting gas. Oh well, I'm sure I'll have plenty of opportunity's to do that.

For now I'm trying to get a roommate so that I can make it until the next alimony check. You wouldn't believe some of the responses I got from the ad. Of course you have the run of the mill, "I have two dogs." But every so often an original story widens my eyes and drops my jaw.

The other day a guy came to look at the room. He seemed normal enough, and pleasant. He was on the quiet side which is a bonus in a roommate. Basically, he was a bit nerdy so I was beginning to think that he was probably a good choice. Then he told me a bit about himself.

He began with this shocker:

"I am a convicted felon and just finished serving 34 months in federal prison for internet child pornography."

Of course, he was set up, "It turned out to be a FBI undercover sting site." But not to worry Meg, "I am safe and harmless and have never and would never hurt anyone." What a relief THAT was!

Apparently I would have to allow his probation officer into my house and I'd have to answer questions a bunch of questions about myself because, as the man said, "I am on probation for 25 years." I go to great lengths to avoid having cops in my house and I would hate to have someone else bring them in. I'm sure some cops are nice people, but the less I see of them, the happier I am. They NEVER bring good news.

And then of course, we have my grandchildren who I don't offer up to anyone. I adore those kids and I don't think their mother would let me keep them for the weekend very often if I had a registered sex offender living in the room down the hall. I can't be sure, I haven't asked her. BUT...I think I can safely guess her thoughts on the matter.

Well, my daughter is, as I type this, driving here from Chicago. She had flown there from LA to come down with her father and his family to see my son graduate from law school this weekend. He just finished 3 years at Mercer in Macon. My plan had him going to UGA for undergrad AND law school. Sadly, he met a goofy chick from Macon and somehow ended up going to school down there instead. But, I've heard a lot of good things about Mercer Law School so I'm not worried. And the kid made the Law Review so he'd have done well anywhere.

Since my daughter is coming to my house, I should be sure that it's good and clean. I did most of it last night but I still have a few things to do. And then of course, I have to do my task du jour. I'm doing one thing a day to make my life better and I have a plan for today. I may or may not get much done toward that plan because I'm really looking forward to spending time with my daughter.

You know, I keep calling that job that I was offered pending the drug test and the background check and I never get an answer. The drug test was fine of course and I THINK the background check should be as well. So, I'd like to know if they've gotten it or not so I know whether I have a job or not. If so, cool. If not, that's OK to because one way or another, I'm going to use this time to look for a better job.

Of course, I could also look for a cheaper place to live. This guy is offering a room for free:

"No Rent For Cute Female Seeking A place To stay to get on feet, It will be a Live in Girlfriend Arrangment. . Bus Stop is outfront of complex. had setup twice before worked out great!! We Can discuss details.

I wish I were cute, I'd jump all over that one. In case you're cute and need a place to stay, here's the ad:

$50 free place to stay for female*Im Seeking Live in Girlfriend -

Apparently all you have to do is the unpleasant things that a wife does without any of the legal benefits. Nice plan he's got going!

Marietta Meg

Good morning!

Ever since that Monday when I got sick of crying, I've been accomplishing SOMETHING everyday to fix all of my current problems. I have a plan for today but I don't like talking about such things, it'll jinx me. Besides, I'll just tell you later anyway.

But this morning I have to tell you about yesterday. My task for the day was to get a car. I had $173.55 in my pocket and I carried an accordion file with any paperwork I could possibly need. Of course, my credit is now shot and I don't have a job. (I'm waiting to hear from one when they get my background check.) I was NOT exactly the customer every salesperson is waiting for.

Anyway, Payton and I walked over to Roswell St. and some of the side streets. If you walk long enough and far enough, you get to a bunch of car lots. I stopped at every one that I saw. I must have gone to 6 of them before I went to Auto Barn on Roswell St. in Marietta. I spoke to the owner and told him what I had already told a bunch of other car lot owners...my sad tale of woe. Before I got to Auto Barn, I had been told that I couldn't do a thing without a down payment...a few times.

I was almost to the Big Chicken and I was getting rather exhausted. I had been at it for hours and I still had to walk home. I thought about it for a minute and I just kept going. I was sunburned, my legs were killing me and I was terrified that I would fall. Oh, I brought Payton with to keep me company and even he was getting sick of walking.

I decided to walk over to Auto Barn and I'm glad that I did. I told the owner that I had $173.55 in my pocket, my checking account was overdrawn, I had no job and my credit sucks...could he please sell me a car? He surprised me by telling me to pick one out, so I did.

The owner paid the $151.60 for my down payment on full coverage...of course, I gave him the cash, he just used his credit card so that the car would be insured when I left the lot. So, I had a bit over 20 bucks to my name and a car.

I bought a black Chrysler Sebring convertible and put the last of my cash in the gas tank, windshield washer stuff and a can of oil. My first payment is due June 1rst and I plan on having SOME job before then.

When I got the car home, I washed it and made it as pretty as I could. After I hosed it down, I took it for a ride to dry it off with the top down. By the way, I need some sort of scarf, my hair goes nuts when the top is down.

OK then, my car and I have things to do today so I'm outta here.

Wish me MORE luck!!!

OMG! It's actually RAINING! I washed MY car and now it's raining...why must every silver lining have a cloud?

Malicious Accusery

tea bagging-the act of lowering one's balls onto someones face, or into their mouth while they are laying down. Kind of resembles dipping a tea bag into a hot cup of water. (Source: www.UrbanDictionary.com)

The unkempt Janine Garofolo seems to have some problem with reality, America and a sense of decency...not to mention a lack of the slightest bit of class. She epitomizes the idea that, "If you disagree with them, they will call you racist."

I don't know how long Garofolo has been around but I've been here long enough to remember REAL racism. As a child I saw no point in it, if God made other people, how could we not love them? It made sense to me then. Certainly as an adult with a lifetime of experiences, I remain true to that sentiment. I have NEVER acted with racism in my heart. I like to consider myself rather bright and the way I see it, racism is for morons. Anyone with a triple digit IQ clearly understands the total hypocrisy behind racism. It's also senseless from a selfish point of view, racism is bad for everyone in one way or another. Life is better in America than it was when racism was the norm.

We've come a long way baby and I've been here to witness a bunch of it so I know of what I speak. Racism was clearly evil and there was absolutely no justification for it. I certainly don't want to see that phenomenon to happen again. I agree with Ferris Bueller when he says, "-Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself."

If enough people listen to Garofolo and those of her ilk, I predict that some -ism will come out of it. Even if it's just viewism (a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human philosophies determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own view is superior and has the right to rule others." I do believe Garofolo qualifies as a "viewist" at the very least.

I added the definition of "tea bagging" to this post in case you didn't know what Garofolo meant when she called people who disagree with her "tea baggers". I certainly never knew before Garofolo's most recent obloquy. I find it rather telling that Garofolo knew that word and used it as though it was a fait accompli in her own life.

So, what is the danger in allowing people like Garofolo to say what she said in the video? Not much...except for one thing. I fear that she may adulterate the meaning of a truly obscene, offensive, and unpropitious presupposition. So...I have decided to do my part to remind Garofolo of what racism actually is. Hopefully she'll apply the same logic to her own case of viewism.

Racist...or not? Choose the racist comments.

1. a. Black people have smaller brains than white people.
b. African-Americans played a large part in building this country.

2. a. Black people ARE the missing link!
b. I believe taxes are too high already.

3. a. In my opinion, quotas hurt all people, not just African-Americans.
b. Them niggers got no right to live in my neighborhood!

4. a. To stop young monkeys from jumping on the bed, put Velcro on the ceiling.
b. People who own property feel as though they have a stake in America's success.

5. a. Forcing darkies to the back of the bus.
b. I believe Ronald Reagan will go down in history as one of our greatest Presidents ever.

6. a. If Janine Garofolo was from the old Soviet Union, we'd see her exactly for what she is...a proponent of hatred towards those who happen to disagree with her.
b. To shut up a colored baby, lick his lips and attach them to the wall.

7. a. My father is a stoic republican.
b. Using one of the following appellations in reference to an African-American: nigger, spear chucker, boy, spook, cotton picker, jigaboo, velcro head, knuckle dragger, cocoa puff, burnt cracker, aunt jemima, jungle bunny, spade, darkie, blue gummer, uncle tom, eraser head, monkey, oreo, semi-simian, pickaninny, moolie, spook, tar baby, cotton picker or baboomba.

8. a. Let's go lynch us a jigaboo!
b. I may disagree with what you say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it.

9. a. Look at that knuckle dragger run, those darkies sure are fast!
b. Citizens of America are free to dissent over political issues.

10. a. Defining the true meaning of racism using examples.
b. Don't hire anymore moolies, we've met the quota.

OK...do you think you see the difference? Disagreement and racism are not related in anyway, unless of course you disagree with a non-racist. For that Garofolo chick (?) I'll give you the answers to the above racist vs. non-racist quiz:

1. a
2. a
3. b
4. a
5. a
6. b
7. b
8. a
9. a
10.b

Janine, review it and take it again it you must. Also, you might want to get a copy of MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech.

Hi hi!

It's me again, Margaret! I've been in a good mood lately that I couldn't have imagined being in last week. Ever since last Monday, I've been determined to get myself out of this situation because the lottery idea wasn't panning out and Prince Charming never showed up.

So, in the past week, I had the power turned back on, avoided having the phone turned off, brought my overdrawn checking account up to a positive number, I spent two days with a yard sale, I got my lawn taken care of and as long as the background check comes back OK, I will have a decent job. I went through 2 interviews and I passed the typing test, the grammar test and the drug test. Wouldn't you know the stupid background check would take so long? If mine had been one of the first to come back, I would have been able to start today. As it is, now I have to wait until May 26th to start that job.

Now all I need is a car to get to that job (or any other job that I might find in the meantime). Also, I do enjoy walking but after a couple of miles my knee hurts and I WILL fall all the way down because of the Multiple Sclerosis. I hate when that happens. Besides, the job certainly is NOT within walking distance anyway.

I know it sounds asinine but I went online and googled "free cars". You'd be surprised to learn that there aren't many at all. If there ARE free cars, I couldn't find them. I wouldn't even mind paying for one but I need a down payment and a couple of paychecks first. I'll buy the first hoopty that I can afford...you'll know me by the black smoke coming out of the tail pipe.

Oh! I had a guy come over today to look at the room that I'm renting out and a lady with two kids who is leaving her husband wants to come by Thursday. Since I have 2 empty bedrooms I figured I could handle that. After all, by renting the room, she's helping me out so I don't mind helping her out.

So, if everything works out, I should be almost out of this hole in which I find myself. It really could have gone either way at one point. I was about as depressed as I could be and stressed to the max. If I had let that go on much longer, someone would have taken me to a rubber room so I talked myself into motivation. I can be very persuasive! I didn't realize how good I was until I got myself with it!

If good things keep happening, I can only imagine getting more motivated. When the bad things kept on happening to me, I was a bit deflated. But since I gave myself an attitude adjustment, good stuff keeps happening. I just can't wait to see what GOOD STUFF happens next!

"I really don't know how you do it!...you get handed one bag of crap after another yet you keep a positive attitude."

Oh, I have my moments. I cried for two days after I came home from the hospital and found the power off. I did that for a bit and then I thought, "This is stupid." Crying may be OK for a while but it does absolutely NO GOOD!

Last Monday morning I woke up and decided to do whatever it takes to get the lights on and get this situation behind me so that I could relax and get back to normal. So, I decided that I was going to do at least one thing everyday to fix something.

So, what do people in the South do when they need cash? Why, they have a yard sale, of course! I sold 4 TV's, all of my electronic stuff, a bunch of my yard fixer things and assorted other stuff. That worked, my lights are on now! And you know what that means, don't you? I CAN USE MY COMPUTER!!!

Oh, before I sold all of the yard stuff, I used it all one last time. I trimmed the edges of the yard and got some nice man from Craigslist to come over and mow the lawn, trim the hedges, sweep the driveways and clean off my deck. I wish I had thought of that last summer. So, my yard looks pretty good and if I wanted to, I could turn lights on and see it. Well, not during the day, but you know what I mean.

Also, a friend of mine is trying to get me a job where she works and she'll drive me everyday so if that works out, so it won't hurt so much not being able to work in nursing for now. It's a not a bad job, it doesn't pay anything near what I'm used to, but it WILL pay the bills. I'm also trying to get another roommate. Between all of that, I should be fine.

The multiple sclerosis isn't that bad, besides falling a lot, I stutter, which I have never done before. My muscles jump for no reason and sometimes I can't swallow so it really, really could be a LOT worse!!!

I have my dog and he kept me company while I was in the dark. I'm SO lucky to have him. So, why not be positive? Trust me, I've tried negative...it doesn't do any good. So, I talked to myself for a while and scolded me for the self-pity thing and then I took a long, long walk. It was a lovely day and while you're taking a walk on a nice day, the world doesn't look so depressing. It was actually quite beautiful.

So, once I gave myself the pep talk, the rest was easy. I just got up early every morning and did something productive. Once you do that, good things start to happen. For example, I may get that job (I'll know by today sometime.) and if I do, that'll be a BIG help. The yard sale helped too.

Yesterday I walked to the grocery store and bought myself all kinds of fruit. I LOVE fruit. So, today is a fine day indeed. I have lights, Internet access, my yard looks good and I don't feel too badly at all today. A week ago, all of those things seemed close to impossible to accomplish. But when I'm confronted with a daunting task, I just do one thing at a time until I've taken care of it and that's what I'm doing now.

So, it's all just common sense, you have to be positive to do anything because negative doesn't help. And of course, the closer you come to finishing the task at hand, the better you feel so since I got a lot done of things this week, I feel quite well.

On top of ALL of that, I cannot believe that I've gone through all of this, the illnesses, the cheating bastard of a husband and the loss of the car for nothing. I FIRMLY believe that something good is in store for me. I have no clue when it'll happen and I really wish it would happen soon...but I'm sure it's gonna make this all worth it. Otherwise it's just one big joke and I hope someone's getting a laugh out of it.

Like Morgan Freeman said in Shawshank Redemption, "You gotta get busy living or get busy dying." I like my kids so I'll stick around and do my best to accomplish whatever I have to do.

:)

Hello!

I've had a most interesting couple of weeks and if what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...I am The Bionic Woman. If I hadn't experienced this all myself, I wouldn't have believed it but you can check all my facts, this ALL actually happened to me.

First, I've been falling a lot lately. Recently I fell in the street and I went to the hospital. I hurt my shoulder but not badly. BUT...the docs were wondering why I had been falling ( and have been suffering from a few other neuro deficits) so they admitted me and ran tests. Long story short...I have Multiple Sclerosis. Keep in mind that the MS follows gall bladder surgery, female surgery, brain surgery, parathyroid cancer at the same time my husband of twenty years had an affair, he then became violent with me and left. Also, I had a stroke close to 2 years ago. I've had numerous spinal injections for a bad back. I think I'm leaving something out but you get the idea. All of this happened in the past 10 years give or take a year.

Add that to the the fact that my car died, and I have to walk everywhere and THAT is a recipe for disaster. My main symptom from the MS right NOW (the symptoms seem to change every so often) is a problem with my equilibrium so I keep falling down. And as I said, the last time it was in the street.

I'm trying to set the stage for you so that you can appreciate the adventuresome qualities of what I'm going through. At one point I was crying (a LOT and HARD!) That didn't do a damn bit of good. On Monday morning it occurred to me that it was actually sort of funny. Then I got giddy and and I still am smack dab in the middle of a stir crazy/half giddy mood that I actually like.

OK...when I was diagnosed with the MS, I had to stop nursing with patient care. I can only work in management where I can't do too much damage. After I stopped work, my roommate moved out unexpectedly with no notice and, of course, owing me money. Then I received a $558 electric bill which I paid (I had to). Anyway, that all set me up for a downward spiral thing.

I fell again and went to the hospital. They did all sorts of tests and stuff related to the injured shoulder and the MS. I hated every minute of it. But, if I had known what was waiting for me at home, I would have stayed in the hospital. I found myself in the dark because my electricity is off. I didn't realize that it had been so long, time is messed up when you're hospitalized or paralyzed with fear.

So, I did what anyone else would have done. I tried to call for help. This is where it gets funny. The only phone that I have that works without electricity is a 50 year old rotary phone with a broken ringer. Obviously I can't hear the phone ring. Everybody that I called to request assistance from REQUIRED either a button or leaving a message. I could leave a message but I couldn't hear them calling me back. Even 211, the United Way's emergency help number will hang up on you abruptly if you don't push a button. And it's rather rude about it...it says, "Good-bye!" as if to say, "You ARE the weakest link."

I would have even tried to walk for help (against doctor's orders) but it has been raining almost constantly for the past week. I have gotten out a couple of times, to get to the grocery store and things like that. Ever since my car died I've been walking a LOT. I don't really mind, it's not really bad except for the part where I keep falling in the street or on the side of the road. Also, I take my dog and he sometimes trips me accidentally. BUT...when I do fall, he won't leave my side...PERIOD. That dog has been the best friend I've ever had. I don't care if he isn't a human...he is the most loyal companion I have EVER had, bar NONE!

So, I've been trying to get the lights on for over a week. I must say, living in the dark doesn't have to be a totally negative experience. I've actually gotten a LOT of reading under my belt recently. And I don't mean lightweight stuff. I've been reading some serious political books and enjoying them! I'm averaging about one 300 page book within every 24 hours...the kind with small print. Ordinarily books like that would take me a week or two to read. So, the reading is a good thing. And...it keeps my mind off of my hideous problems.

Another positive thing about having no power, the refrigerator. Within a couple of days everything in the fridge goes bad. That doesn't really sound positive but it's a blessing in disguise because it's a great time to clean the freezer and fridge out. If you throw everything away, you can easily clean the emptiness. Cool, huh?

Oh, and I can't leave out the value of a newspaper. The only news that you get with no electricity is what you read in the paper and what people tell you. I could call people on the rotary phone, they just couldn't call me back or a machine wanted me to push a button. Very few, maybe 3% of the phone numbers that I called, would eventually get you to a human if you waited long enough. The problem with those folks is that they aren't really blessed with the ability to think "outside the box". Even after I spent 5 minutes or so explaining my plight, (remember the food went bad over a week ago!) the ding dong phone people would give me someones voice mail or another useless number. But if the phone people didn't have a number to give me, they had no clue what to do and said so. After a while I began asking them if I should just wait until I feel like I'm going to pass out and call 911. I hate to say this, but there are a LOT of stupid people answering phones all around the country!

I'm sure I'll get myself out of this situation, it isn't fatal and I've survived other bad stuff, obviously. After brain surgery, cancer and Multiple Sclerosis...living in the dark is small potatoes.

The list of negative things about having no power is quite long, as you can probably imagine. I couldn't cook, not even in the microwave. The food all went bad and started to smell but as I said, I seized the opportunity to scrub the fridge. Of course there was no TV but I don't watch much of that anyway so I didn't really mind, the books were fine. Oh, and I had that antique phone thing going on so I couldn't hear it ring and I had no buttons. I was picturing the news flash, "Grandmother found dead in her home next to rotary phone and a list of numbers she called for help but because of no buttons, woman is now dead"

That'd show 'em. With no power, there's lots of time to clean the house but I can't take a shower because I hate to stand under cold water so I just take sponge baths with cold water...it's a bit better. Washing my hair under cold running water is a BITCH, by the way.

Right now it isn't raining so I walked up to the library to use their computer. I thought that maybe I could find some help this way. So far I haven't but I'm not done looking. It's OK, I have plenty of time, it took an hour to walk here and it'll probably take at least that long to get home so I'm going to hang out here for a while. If I accomplish nothing else, at least I can get some more books.

Over the past weekend, I actually hated waking up every morning. I went to bed as soon as it got dark so I would wake up while it was still dark and then I would sit there until there was enough sun light to make phone calls or walk somewhere without getting soaking wet.

Anyway, I realize that suicidal ideations are a bad, selfish and lazy thing to have so I took my Prozac last Sunday. I only had 2 left so I took one Sunday and then another one on Monday. I realized that my state of mind was much better so I HAD to refill that prescription. My daughter wired me the money to pay for it. She had that much, but she didn't have nearly enough to pay the electric bill. So, I've had my Prozac and I've actually been in a pretty upbeat mood this week. Of course, I'm still sitting in the dark, but c' est la vie. As long as I can still smile and I don't run out of books, I'm good. Of course my dog helps a LOT as well. Oh, and I've lost a LOT of weight! Of course the food went bad but I've been so nervous that I couldn't really eat if I wanted to. I've had a couple PB&J's over the past 10 days, but that's pretty much it.

So...that's what's new with me...how about yourself?

I'm at about 42 seconds, the first person on the right with braids.

:)