Ron Isakson is at it again...

...tomorrow is a court date where he tries to get his child support decreased because he has no job. The court has ordered that he LOOK for a job and that in itself has annoyed the tar out of him. When the judge ordered that he is to apply for ONE job a day, he actually responded, "NO! The Unemployment Office says I only have to apply for two jobs a week!"

The judge didn't appreciate his stupid comment and reminded him that she was not the Unemployment Office and that she had authority of her own. It should be interesting to see what he brings to court tomorrow. I can't imagine him doing anything once a day that doesn't have to do with pleasuring himself.

In case you've missed this little melodrama, Ron's ex-wife has spent a couple thousand dollars on attorney's fees and much of her time in court just so that her ex can argue that he needs to pay less in child support. Her attorney has told her that the child support may go down, but not very much at all. That would be almost tolerable if she didn't have to pay for the privilege of watching her children's only income go down.

So, while Ron looks for ways to avoid applying for one job a day, the mother of his children looks for ways to feed her kids and keep them clothed. He doesn't seem to worry about housing his kids at all, perhaps because he lives with one of his adult kids to whom he pays nothing. That's why he can't seem to fill out a form asking him here his money goes...he spends it on himself while his oldest daughter supports him.

This disabled woman has worked for years to support her family while she watched Ron watch television. Now that she CAN'T work, he still refuses to do so. She has worked so hard to earn a college degree only to find out that between her open heart surgery and other health issues, she isn't strong enough to work in her chosen profession, the care of those who can't care for themselves. She is broken hearted that she CAN'T work and Ron is acrimonious that he must look for a job. Life just isn't fair at times and in his fight to avoid manual labor, Ron has done everything so far except demand that the mother of his children work even harder than she does to support his kids. I wonder when he asks HER to perform a job search? He's done everything else in his effort to avoid suuporting the children of his loins, he would absolutely be monster enough to do that.

So, on December 1rst, at 9 am CST, think of Mrs. Isakson and her 2 children. That's when her ex will be forcing her to pay more attorney's fees in her fight to keep a few bucks of her ex's unemployment check for her children. And then, on the weekend, think about the creep who sponges off of adult children and the Illinois taxpayers while searching for ways to avoid paying for the upkeep of his young children. This yahoo actually sends his kids home from visitation with comments like this, "Dad said Mom steals 57% of his money!" and "Dad said he can't afford to take us to McDonald's because Mom takes all of his money!" But don't worry about Ron, his oldest daughter supports him and he has enough unemployment left over to smoke at least 2 packs of cigarettes a day.

The United States government...

...is, depending upon the source you believe, either annoyed at or the mastermind of, the leak of information recently released yesterday at internet "whistleblower" Wikileaks. (http://cablegate.wikileaks.org/) Apparently the US feels as though some of the information might prove damaging to diplomatic relations between America and her Allies. Well, it seems as though some of our embassy personnel never learned anything from junior high school extra-curricular activities.

Most of us learned very young that, "If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, don't say anything at all." Another lesson usually learned early in life is that you shouldn't tell people things that you wouldn't want announced on the radio...or, as technology advances, on the internet.

I would have assumed that PROFESSIONAL diplomats would have a firmer grasp of the rules of diplomacy than most 13 year olds. But, I'm no better at diplomatic assumptions than I am at husband choosing. Here is a short smattering of the comments that Wikileak has furnished the entire world:

Gaddafi is reportedly obsessively dependent on traveling with a Ukrainian nurse described as a "voluptuous blond" because she alone "knows his routine."

North Korean leader Kim Jong Il is a "flabby old chap".

French President Nicholas Sarkozy, in the view of U.S. diplomats in Paris, has a "thin-skinned and authoritarian personal style".

Regarding Russian President Dimitry Medvedev and Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, Medvedev "plays Robin to Putin's Batman".

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is "feckless, vain and ineffective as a modern European leader," according to a U.S. official in Rome. Another cable remarked on Berlusconi's "frequent late nights and penchant for partying hard".

Afghan President Hamid Karzai is described in one cable from Kabul as "an extremely weak man who did not listen to facts but was instead easily swayed by anyone who came to report even the most bizarre stories or plots against him".

So much for the above lessons of junior high school culture. A few other lessons that our diplomats might find helpful in the future:

1. The NEED TO KNOW LESSON. Who really needed to know that Kim Jong Il is a "flabby old chap"? (Who didn't know it in the first place?)

2. Don't give up an innocent third party when you try to insult someone. (What did the "voluptuous blond" do to earn mention as the object of Gaddafi's obsession?)

3. Name calling isn't nice. (AND... it is extremely unattractive when done by those over three years old.)

4. Treat others how you would like to be treated. (I doubt that our Secretary of State would like to be called "feckless", true or not."

5. Lying isn't too bright. Once you're nabbed, just admit your mistake. (Telling people that the world will end if they rat you out rarely works.)

Lastly, if it looks like a spy and walks like a spy, it just might be a spy so remember...those who look behind doors have stood behind many. The spy business is awfully unforgiving so be prepared to be an honorable, nice spy and not a two-faced diplomat!!!

It took me nine months to make her a person...and 30 years to watch her become a mother

When the Good Lord was creating mothers He was into His 6th day of overtime when the angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

And the Lord said, "Have you read the specification on this order? She has to be completely washable but not plastic, have 180 movable parts . . . all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that disappears when she stands up, a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointing love affair, and 6 pairs of hands."

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "6 pairs of hands....no way."

"It's not the hands that are causing me the problems," said the Lord, "It's the three pairs of eyes that Mothers have to have."

"That's in the standard model?" asked the angel.

The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks 'What are you kids doing in there?' when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front so that she can look at a child when he goofs and say, 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word."

"Lord," said the angel touching his sleeve gently, "It's time for bed."

"No I can't," said the Lord, "I'm close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one that heals herself when she is sick . . . can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger . . . and can get a 9 yr. old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of a Mother very slowly. "It's too soft." she sighed.

"But tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You cannot imagine what this Mother can do or endure."

"Can it think?"

"Not only think, but it can reason and compromise." said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran a finger across the cheek. "There's a leak." she pronounced. "I told You, You were trying to put too much into this model."

"It's not a leak," said the Lord. "It's a tear."

"What's it for?"

"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride."

"You are a genius!" said the angel.

The Lord looked somber. "I didn't put it there."

OK...

...it's cold outside and I don't like it. I know that I grew up here but I haven't been around for a very long time and I forgot how cold it can be on this planet. Why would a creator make it so cold in the first place and why would his worshippers stay after the first winter? This just blows.

To people suffering through winter weather, I have a question...did you know that there are places with palm trees and sunshine? It's true, I've seen them.

When I decided to come back to Chicago, it seemed like such a good idea. I was thinking about the fact that my kids, wherever they were, would sooner or later come back to Chicago for a visit. If I were here, they would be able to see me and then they wouldn't have to travel to the Midwest to see one parent and then to the opposite coast to see the other. That made so much sense to me in June. It even seemed like a good idea in September when the leaves started changing colors. But now it's almost December and I'm beginning to think that I made a major boo-boo.
I have a winter coat, a scarf and gloves. I even have my long johns and I wear so many socks that I can barely get my shoes on. But guess what? It's still fricking cold!

If memory serves, I have at least one other nightmare to look forward to this winter...SNOW! I can't believe that I actually sat in Georgia and longed to see just one blizzard like we had when I was a kid. I even felt a slight twinge of envy when the weatherman reported that 18 inches had fallen over some poor sap up north. Before it got cold I actually thought that I'd enjoy one snowfall, and then perhaps I might get sick of it. But, the truth is that the cold air outside has awoken something in my brain and remided me that when I was 13, I would walk to school feeling dreadfully sorry for myself. Suddenly the memory of frozen toes and ears came back from when I walked the block to my junior high school.

Right now I am inside, the thermostat is set at 70, I have 3 pairs of socks on and my feet are cold. How the heck am I supposed to walk outside? Ordinarily I would think, "Well, at least the bugs are all dead out there!" Well, maybe they are dead out THERE...but they must have made one final attempt to keep warm because this one just scared the bejesus out of me as it was walking on the desk in front of me:

I don't think so...bugs and unrelenting, bitter, frigid temperatures? I'll be damned. If it's gonna be be this cold I can't stay and if the bugs follow people into the warmth of their homes, I WON'T stay.

Damn...that ladybug just flew away and hit me in the face as it did. The bitch read what I was writing, waited for me to finish and then assaulted me. I can NOT deal with this.

Little kids are such...

...unpredictable little suckers that I can't imagine too much comedy happening without them. Yesterday a friend of a friend was taking his blood sugar before he decided how much insulin he needed to take. I tried to freak out an onlooking kid by asking him if I could take HIS blood sugar. He asked if it would hurt and I responded, "I just need to make you bleed a little, do YOU think it will hurt?" That kid remained reticent while his little sister tried to explain it better than I had.

"It will be a big giant prick, that's all!" she told her brother. Being the sweet little thing that she is, she was the only person in the room who didn't laugh to high heaven. I guess she didn't get the "big giant prick" image in her mind the way everyone else did.

That's the same little girl who told her brother to "Just whack the head off!" when he wanted to pull a dead flower out of a vase last summer. I did have to tell her to watch who she told to "whack off" in the future. Of course, I couldn't have foreseen the "big giant prick" response coming at the time so at this point I have decided to simply let her continue making her sexual references without comment.

Fourth Amendment of the Bill of Rights

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

That is the text of the Fourth Amendment of the Bill of Rights. It usually applies to Americans OUTSIDE of an airport. Once an American enters an airport, that particular right is thrown out the window and innocent Americans become subject to searches that most criminals are protected against.

No police officer can stick his or her hands down my pants without due process yet I do not have the right to be free from that particular assault should I choose to visit my grandchildren. By breasts are no longer free from groping nor can I assume that my crotch is a "private part" of my body. Should I refuse to allow strangers to do things to me that most of my dates are not allowed to do, I can be arrested and fined up to $11,000. God Bless America.

This week is the most heavily traveled week of the year and if I were to be traveling, I absolutely would wear a coat over pasties and a thong, then when I got in the "security" line, I would remove my coat and stand proudly. Let the groper du jour figure out what to pat down when I've exposed most of my body to the traveling public. (I suppose if I were a man, I would wear a speedo.)

For some stupid reason, even after being warned, I took a Greyhound Bus to Los Angeles earlier this year. Upon that bus I was terrorized and assaulted by a drunken fool who had been allowed on the bus without passing through so much as one metal detector. Why do you suppose that was allowed to happen? Can't a hijacked bus do damage to innocent people? Could it be that those who don't pay top dollar do not deserve the protection given to airline passengers? I suppose it will take more than one assaulted middle aged woman for Greyhound to decide to protect it's customers but I would hate to think that it will take a hijacked bus crashed into a day care center to begin that protection.

I'm quite surprised that the TSA hasn't begun to grope bus riders, they seem to get such a charge out of it at the airport. It seems to me that there has to be some happy medium between absolutely NO security and the invasive, civil right obliterating searches imposed upon Americans thousands of times every hour at airports across this country.

Thanks to Greyhound and their lax rules, I've lost the hearing in my right ear and I have pain on both sides of my neck daily. After that assault, I do plan on traveling by plane next time where I will be further assaulted. Interesting, isn't it?

Is anyone in this country bright enough to protect Americans without violating the unalienable rights promised to us in the Constitution?

Family

Natalie Alexo inadvertently did me a favor...

...because sometimes life gets in the way of things that should be tended to. It's been a while since I posted something about my aunt who still hasn't returned from "her trip to California".

I don't even want to qualify this with an "opinion" disclaimer anymore, Paul Mergel murdered his mother. My family lives far away and perhaps we aren't as close as we could be but we are a family and we want nothing more than justice for our aunt, sister and fellow family member.

Natalie, your stupidity and unwelcome opinions did nothing but remind us all that our aunt deserves to be brought home and buried like the human being she was. If Paul Jr. is so concerned about being mistaken for the man who murdered his grandmother, he could stop that by turning his father, the murderer, into the police in Georgia.

You say that I have disgraced my family. I have not murdered anyone, be they family, ex husbands or annoying acquaintances. I wouldn't do you harm no matter how ridiculous you behave because I am, as is MOST of my family, a decent human being that respects life and your right to be free from harm.

If you were to suddenly come up missing, who would look for you? I know nothing about you but I would think that however asinine you may be, some family member would want to find you.

Usually the children of a murder victim try to get justice for their own but in this case, the only child is the murderer so the extended family is left to seek the truth. How dare you even THINK to call me a loser for seeking justice for my aunt!

Do not think I am alone, I know I have family that cares about Mary Ann Mergel and they proved it by helping to circulate the post below this one. So, when you call me a loser, you call us all losers. Common sense should tell your stupid self that an entire family can't be wrong. If there was ANY doubt that Paul Mergel murdered his mother, there would be at least ONE person in our family who stood behind him. But, we all know that he is absolutely a murderer and you will never find one of us giving him the slightest benefit of a doubt. The facts are what they are and you can't blame us for that. If Paul Jr. doesn't like it, he has no one but his father to thank.

Calling me a loser doesn't make it so. But, the fact that Mary Ann has never returned combined with the evidence Paul Sr. left behind absolutely convinces us ALL that when I say Paul Mergel is a murderer, it IS so.

Have a nice day.

Politics makes for strange bedfellows. Notice the family resemblance between Reid and Granny:

Found at:
www.heartlandconservatives.com

My own personal opinion

Senator Rockefeller isn't the only...

...person trying to stifle free speech. Some nit wit Named Natalie Alexo sent me this email:

Sounds like you need to subscribe to LOSER.COM! Stop disgracing the names of your other family members when you don't even know of them or who they are. Paul Mergel Sr. is innocent and you are making his son Paul Mergel Jr. look guilty by posting the wrong name!!!

No one in my family seems to know who this yahoo is but she has taken it upon herself to comment on things she knows nothing about. In case anyone is getting the Mergel boys confused, here is the one who knows what happened to his mother, my aunt:


YOB: 1967
RACE: WHITE
GENDER: MALE
HEIGHT: 5’09”
WEIGHT: 205
EYE COLOR: BLUE
HAIR COLOR: BROWN
TATTOO/MEDIUM ANKLE/RTTATTOO/MEDIUM ARM/RTTATTOO/LARGE ARM/LFT
A.K.A. MERGEL,PAUL ROBERT SRA.K.A. MERGEL,PHANTOM MAN

Paul Mergel killed his mother. Her name was Mary Ann and she was my father’s sister. He seems to be getting away with matricide because my aunt’s body has never been found. I’ve been mentioning this situation every so often. I was hoping that the things that some cousins and I were doing would turn something up, if not the murderer himself. He’s now skipped town and no one knows where he is. He’s wanted in the state of Georgia so this should be the one place that he isn’t. That means that he’s probably closer to you than he is to me. For my aunt, for my father and his brothers and sisters, and for the family of the woman who died in the trailer fire (another murder he seems to have gotten away with) I’ve posted all the information that I could get my hands on.

To protect myself from a potential lawsuit, I call this all my opinion, but you will read nothing except verifiable facts on this blog. Those facts may convince some idiot that my cousin is innocent, but most thinking people would read the facts and conclude that Paul Mergel is a murderer.

After the way you all responded to the search for Rosie, it occurred to me that you guys might also help locate a killer by posting a link to this post. If he hasn’t done so already, he will most certainly kill again. He is absolutely armed and dangerous and living next door to someone out there. He has to have been seen somewhere. Email this to everyone you know, it doesn’t promise to grant you a wish and you won’t have bad luck if you don’t, but you might just be responsible for putting a murderer behind bars. If we circulate this post around enough, the man can’t possibly hide out for much longer.

Wouldn’t it be cool if we could catch a murderer and put him behind bars? I would LOVE it! We can do it with a few strokes of our little keyboards. Just remember, this guy is dangerous and has nothing to lose by killing anyone who might turn him in so if you DO see him, don’t confront his fat ass, just call your local police and let them handle it.

Here is a letter that my father wrote in answer to some claims made by someone pretending to be Paul’s son. It pretty much explains a few of the reasons that we suspect Paul of killing his own mother:

YOU CLAIM THAT THE POLICE SEARCHED YOUR HOUSE AND YARD AND FOUND NOTHING. I SPOKE TO THE POLICE AND THEY SHOWED ME THE NUMEROUS WEAPONS THAT THEY FOUND AND ADDITIONAL WEAPONS THAT PAUL PAWNED IN THE NEXT COUNTY. (BY WEAPONS, I MEAN ILLEGAL RIFLES) I ALSO SAW YOUR YARD AND SAW LITERALLY HUNDREDS OF SHELLS FROM A VARIETY OF GUNS. BUT THEN, MAYBE I SHOULD BELIEVE YOU AND NOT MY LYING EYES. I SPOKE TO THE POLICE IN NEW JERSEY WHO ARE INVESTIGATING A PREVIOUS MYSTERIOUS DEATH THAT INVOLVED DEAR OLD DAD.
IT SEEMS THAT HIS GIRLFRIEND WAS GETTING TO BE A BOTHER TO HIM AND SHE FOUND HERSELF DEAD IN DAD’S TRAILER. IT IS SURPRISING TO HEAR YOU DEFEND YOUR DAD. YOUR GRANDMOTHER WAS THE ONLY PERSON WHO EVER PROVIDED A HOME FOR YOU. IT IS MY UNDERSTANDING THAT YOUR MOTHER WAS CONVICTED OF SOME DRUG OFFENSE OR ANOTHER AND THE STATE CHOSE TO PUT YOU IN A FOSTER HOME RATHER THAN LET HER HAVE CUSTODY.
BUT, BACK TO DEAR OLD DAD. IF THE POLICE FOUND NOTHING, WHY WAS YOUR DAD ARRESTED, TRIED AND CONVICTED OF OFFENSES THAT LEFT HIM IN PRISON FOR SEVERAL YEARS?
IF HE WAS NOT INVOLVED IN GRANDMOTHER’S DISAPPEARANCE, WHY DID HE TELL HER RELATIVES AND FRIENDS THAT SHE GAVE HIM HER HOUSE, HER CAR AND HER CHARGE CARDS AND WENT TO CALIFORNIA?HOW DID YOU WIND UP WITH GRANDMAS CELL PHONE? HOW COME THERE WERE $10,000 IN STRANGE CHARGES ON HER CREDIT CARDS SHORTLY AFTER SHE “LEFT”?
HOW COME A MAN, LATER IDENTIFIED AS YOUR DAD, WAS SEEN CASHING ALLEGEDLY FORGED CHECKS ON GRANDMAS ACOUNT?IF DADDY REALLY WANTS TO CLAIM INNOCENCE, I AM SURE THT HE WILL BE WILLING TO COOPERATE WITH THE PERSON APPOINTED BY THE COURT TO HANDLE YOUR GRANDMOTHER’S AFFAIRS.
HOW COME IT HAS BEEN ALLEGED THAT FRIENDS OF YOUR FATHER WERE ALLOWED TO GO INTO THE HOUSE AND REMOVE ALL OF THE VALUABLE ITEMS THAT YOUR GRANDMOTHER OWNED? THEY EVEN DISCONNECTED AND STOLE THE WASHER AND DRYER! YOU SAY THAT YOUR FATHER “RAISED YOU BETTER”. YOUR FATHER DID NOT RAISE YOU. YOUR GRANDMOTHER RAISED YOU. SHE WAS THE ONLY PERSON WHO EVER PROVIDED YOU WITH A HOME AND CLOTHES AND 3 MEALS A DAY. FATHER WAS TOO BUSY COLLECTING GUNS AND A CRIMINAL RECORD. NOW, YOUR GRANDMOTHER IS DEAD AND YOU DON’T SEEM TO CARE. DON’T HOLD YOUR BREATH WAITING FOR AN INVITATION TO THE NEXT FAMILY REUNION!

My father deserves to have his questions answered as do all of his other siblings. I have 2 other aunts, 2 uncles and a slew of in-laws, cousins and friends who all knew Mary Ann. Here are a couple of comments by 2 of them:

I’ve known Maryann Mergel for 20 some odd years! She was one of my mothers best friends….Maryann would NEVER just go on some trip, or move away from her grandchildren!! They were her life, thats the only reason she moved to Georgia in the first place! She was murdered! Wake up and open your eyes people….there is a serious pattern here and the police need to dig deeper, it’s not just about forgery or guns!! She was murdered and her grandchildren need to know who cared for them through thick and thin cause it certainly wasn’t their mom or dad!!!!!

And:

There is little doubt that Paul Mergel was, in some way, involved in his mother’s disappearance. Whether it was in a fit of rage or drug addled pandering, he knows what happened to his mother.Regarding the NJ incident…Funny how he just happened to sleep at his mothers the night the trailer that his mother paid for him to live in, caught fire which burned his girlfriend to bits inside.Although the evidence may be circumstantial, the truth is quite clear. Paul Mergel is responsible for the death of his own mother and has a deadly way of ending relationships…beware all who know this cold blooded killer. (Including his children.)

Here are some links to other posts that I’ve written regarding the cold blooded killer, if you are curious about this murderer amongst us:

http://diaryofmydivorce.blogspot.com/2005/04/meg_111282780355661025.html

http://diaryofmydivorce.blogspot.com/2006/04/dear-meg_30.html

http://diaryofmydivorce.blogspot.com/2006/10/this-is-100-my-opinion.html

http://diaryofmydivorce.blogspot.com/2006/11/my-father-read-comment.html

http://diaryofmydivorce.blogspot.com/2008/04/this-post-is-100-my-own-opinion-meg.html

http://diaryofmydivorce.blogspot.com/2008/04/we-found-article.html

Thanks for caring

A Timely Rewrite

I hear that Jay Rockefeller...

...is actually blaming Fox News for the ills of the country not caused by Bush. Apparently Fox News and the republicans are far too much of a force to reckon with for the Senator. Do you think THAT is the message the Senator is trying to send?

I doubt it. I think that, like my ex-husband and his insane 2nd wife who have been harassing me for over twenty years, the Senator feels he can only hold the Democrats together by identifying a common enemy. Rockefeller is of the school of politics that very few media types mention anymore, the politics of personal destruction. He just takes it a bit further and applies the destructive tactics to private companies, institutions and networks.

If you pay attention to any one person, an ex spouse, a bad cop or a President, sooner or later you begin to pick up on their personal behavior patterns. My ex used to be verbally abusive while I was crying...but as soon as I stopped crying and started getting angry...he would cave like the weak-spined bully that he was. Naturally, I just began to skip the crying part of the game and I went straight to being one acrimonious bitch. It saved a lot of time...and mascara.

I've been watching the democrats long enough to notice that whenever they meet resistance of any sort, whether it be in the form of poor poll numbers or thousands of protesting Americans, it seems as though they default to being nasty...just like I did. So, I can't say it's a bad thing, but I will say something that I wish the liberals would learn to say, "It is what it is."

I find that common sense usually will stifle any opposition I meet. If not, I agree to disagree and walk away. This is an example of the common sense of which I speak:

Q. Bill O'Reilly is a racist.

A. First of all, that's a simple declaration, it needs to have facts to back it up. Saying that O'Reilly is racist doesn't make him a racist anymore than crossing my arms and blinking delivers me a tall and handsome man. Secondly, if someone IS a racist...what do you care? This is a country that makes room for racism. If racists formed a union and suffered discrimination, the ACLU might even help them in a lawsuit against PUSH. They did it for Nazi's because it nazi-ism is allowed in this country. You don't have to like it, you don't even have to understand it. It just IS.

Your rights don't begin until mine stop and if I were of the mind to be a racist, I have every right in the world to be one as long as I don't tamper with YOUR rights. Therefore, the comment "Bill O'Reilly is a racist." is not only a pointless, time wasting tactic, it's also a sign of a person who can't think up a serious argument for anything worthwhile.

America not only makes room for racists, it makes room for American citizens to form a network which they may use for practicing First Amendment rights. You don't HAVE to like what they say. If you wanted to fault someone, Rockefeller COULD fault CNN for being so biased to the left that the right decided that they needed their own news network. But I sort of doubt that Rockefeller, Obama or Pelosi would say anything anti-CNN.

Now that the evil insurance companies have been demonized along with Fox News and the republican minority, I wonder who our next "common enemy" will be? The possibilities are endless. Here is a smattering of possible future Obama Demons:

1. The people who make Pringles
2. Richard Nixon
3. Starbucks
4. Nascar
5. First class airline passengers
6. Pharmacists
7. Limousine owners
8. Amtrak
9. Irish women who use less then a 30 SPF when tanning.
10. The wigs that Hasidic women wear after marriage.

If I wanted to, I could demonize anyone or anything on that list. I learned how in high school on the speech and debate team. I bet someone with more experience and education could be very successful demonizing anyone they felt the need to demonize. I absolutely CAN imagine our government creating an enemy out of anyone on that list. But, there are also people and organizations that would NEVER be demonized, no matter how bad they may get. Here are some of those entities:

1. NOW
2. Teachers
3. Nurses
4. Death row inmates as a whole
5. Local police departments
6. Florists
7. Obese people stuck in a bedroom
8. Nursing home residents
9. The turkey industry on Thanksgiving
10. Covens of witches

I think that list is pretty safe from hidden camera incidents and Senatoral wrath.

Fox News was a perfect target, big enough that most people are aware of it and conservative enough to annoy liberals. I feel the need to remind liberals that there is NO law criminalizing conservative thought...yet

If Rockefeller wanted to set a precedent and stifle the free speech of the media, many liberals would applaud him. But, the precedent can easily fall back on liberals when a Republican majority pops up and stifles liberal thought. That's what you call fair and balanced in it's truest sense.

METEORS!!!

For the second morning in a row...

...I woke up at 3:30 and then woke up an entire family to accompany me on a meteor viewing mission. Yesterday it was far too overcast to see any of Leonid's Beads but this morning the sky was as clear as it could be. So, it was with great confidence that I took a family out into the 30 something degree November air to watch the famous meteor shower.

We were all bundled up but as the meteors failed to appear, my party started giving up one at a time until I was left alone with a hearty 10 year old girl who had never seen a meteor in her life. She and I were lying flat on our backs on the frosty ground staring straight up into the constellation Leo, hoping for a glimpse of one little meteor.

After waiting for over an hour in the frigid Chicago air, I saw a fireball but it was such a fast flash that I didn't even mention it. Then I saw cloud cover moving in from the west and started to think about going back into the warm house that was right behind us. Just as I was considering giving up, a meteor flew right out of Leo to our left. This was one that the little girl and I BOTH saw so we both knew that we had, at last, seen a meteor. Then, within a few minutes, we saw another one to our right.

Our screams of delight brought the rest of the family running out to see what all the commotion was about. Unfortunately, the cloud cover was rolling over our heads at that same time and they didn't get to see anything but the clouds.

As the wee munchkin and I waited to see a meteor, we prayed to every dead person we could think of to send us "just one little meteor". Being the agnostic that I am, I felt a little silly but I do like to cover all of my bases so I went along with the prayer session. I'll never know for sure whether or not our prayers were answered or if serendipity was involved, but I do know that the little girl and I, most definitely, saw a couple of meteors today.

Then we came back into the house and I made some french toast for the family that waited patiently, if not outside, for the stars to fall around us. So, right now the house smells like french toast and coffee and I'm wide awake, along with a family who would normally be asleep at this time. There's not much left to do now except wait for school to start so that's what the kids are doing.

I have some errands to run myself so I guess I'll just enjoy the rest of the early morning hours and bask in the delight that belongs to me and the little girl that stayed outside with me long enough to see a couple of flashes in the sky. Now that's a kid I could hang with!

You will all be happy...

...to hear that Erika Winchester has stated “I did not have any charges against him.” Of course she is referring to Hugson Jean, the ever patient and compassionate postal worker at whom she aimed a barrage of racist, foul mouthed and despicable comments the likes of which I have never heard...and I lived in the South for years.

Apparently, Mrs. Winchester is known about town as a kook and Mr. Jean was aware of her unstable nature which is why he maintained such a graceful constitution during the her verbal and allegedly physical assault upon him. May the God of your choosing have mercy on that kind man.

There are many words for the incident that has gained worldwide attention over the past few days but there is one aspect of this debacle that fascinates me. That is the fact that racism may very well be added to the next issue of the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).

That fact brings many questions to my, admittedly slightly askew, mind. For example, how does one diagnose a racist and who in their right mind would seek treatment for such a hated condition? Obviously Winchester qualifies as a racist, no matter what ANYONE says in her defense. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but Winchester has left no room for doubt. Perhaps I could forgive an angry outburst but this woman went so far as to say that she has seen the statistics and that blacks rank quite low on the IQ scale. So, what do you do with her if she is actually suffering from a "disorder"? Do you take her and force her into treatment? She has proven herself over and over again to be a danger to others, that alone qualifies her for a stay at most loony bins.

And once she, or any other certifiable racist, is admitted into treatment, how do you treat them? A fear of spiders is treated by slowly desensitizing the arachnophobe to the object of their fear. They are actually introduced to one spider after another until the irrational fear is gone. Do you take a certifiable racist and stick them in the midst of an AME Church service? Would you rent them a room in Los Angeles on Crenshaw Boulevard somewhere near MLK Boulevard for a month? Maybe they could spend some time with Michael Jackson's family. The main problem with those ideas is that I don't know why one would subject any decent Americans of African descent to a woman of Winchester's ilk, I simply cannot imagine a human being that would deserve what Winchester has to offer.

After doctors do draw up a treatment plan for a person suffering from racist inclinations, who pays for the treatment? ObamaCare? That's far too ironic to even contemplate.

The next question that begs for an answer is this one...what other types of assholes will be up for an appointment after we call racism a disease? Movie stars like Mel Gibson? Spouses who have a propensity to cheat? Nit wits who expose their own children to the world like those nuts with 20 or so kids (and still counting! Even after it's been proven that the mother no longer has a cervix strong enough to carry a child to term.)?

I also wonder, if every idiot in the United States is simply ill, who will be left to pay for treatment of their idiocy? I currently have a nasty cold and no one is sending me any free Sudafed...why should I pay to treat a racist hag without the brains to keep her hateful comments to herself?

I like America and it's true that we have the right to be racist if we so desire. But that right ends where Mr. Hugson's right to be free from assault begin. People too stupid to realize that fact don't deserve taxpayer funded treatment, they deserve to learn from the wrath of decent human beings which is why we as a society simply must continue to demonize true demons.

BTW, I fully support most of the ideas proposed by the Tea Party.

I sure hope this woman doesn't belong to the Tea Party!

This charming old hag is a perfect example of someone who gives all white people the despicable appellation of prejudiced bigots.

After signing for a letter addressed to her husband, Erica (or Erika) Winchester changed her mind and wanted the postman to return the receipt she had signed. Of all the options available to her, she chose one of the most hideous of them all, she attacked the postal worker, Hugson Jean, verbally and, allegedly, physically.

After watching the two videos, one can only marvel at the result...Hugson was fired. Apparently, Winchester has friends "in high places".

Even after Hugson refused to file charges against the miserable excuse for a human being, "police filed a criminal application before a clerk magistrate for assault and battery as a hate crime". In a further show of patience and inexplicable decency, Hugson, who had already lost his job over this lunatic, refused to testify against her and eventually the charges were dropped.

Lest one attribute Winchester's behavior to a bad day during which she forgot to take her Prozac, consider some of her other colorful (no pun intended) antics:

Winchester once threatened a cop that she would “chop off” his genitals after he arrested her for trespassing.

During a community play rehearsal, Winchester told a cast member “that anyone who wrongs her would ‘get it with a machine gun.’”

Winchester was arrested in August 2005 for drunk driving after she crashed her Volvo through a street sign and narrowly missed driving head-on into a minivan, according to a police report. Cops found a bloodied Winchester, who reeked of booze, in front of her Kimball Beach Road home.

She was also charged with drunk driving, endangering, and leaving the scene of an accident.

Source:(http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/vile-viral-video-stars-raging-past)

Yet, with this history and a good friend in the USPS, Winchester remains at large and Hugson is unemployed. What a wonderful statement on the condition of justice in America.

Should you desire to congratulate Winchester, you can reach her here:

Erika F Winchester
55-59
21 Kimball Beach Rd
Hingham, MA 02043-1145
PHONE: (781) 749-2865
Randall E Winchester
Phone: (781) 749-7895

Later on this morning:

The more I think about this situation, the angrier I become. It's been decades since I've been witness to any peons holding this type of animus toward their fellow human beings. Every time I think this crap is over, admittedly a naive assumption, some yahoo pops up out of nowhere to prove me wrong. I apologize to anyone I may have offended by implying that racism was history. In my own defense, I knew that there were still racists hiding in isolated wooded areas, but I wouldn't have thought that you could find them in a supposedly enlightened suburban town in this day and age. My bad.

I know of a young man (a term I use lightly) who has recently been using racial slurs against his fellow students during school hours. My emotions have been taking a roller coaster ride as I've tried to wrap my head around what he has done.

I've gone from anger to confusion to disgust. When I tried to ask the kid where this comes from, he had no answer. His mother is NOT a racist and as far as I know, no one in his family is either. Yet, the N-word is coming out of his mouth as easily as his breathe comes out.

Without excusing the behavior and the hideous verbal attacks delivered by the kid in question, I've been wracking my brain trying to find the root of the problem. I have no idea where it comes from but during my discussions with the kid, he did say this, "I hear ni**er used all the time." I was stunned.

Then he explained that black kids and their close friends of other colors use the term amongst themselves. Once again, I am not at ALL trying to mitigate what happened but when kids go to a school with other students of many different ethnic backgrounds, you will have some kids using the term, albeit in a different way. I understand that.

But, when you're dealing with 13 year olds, how can you expect them to know when it's OK and when it's not? Where should the line be drawn? And even if you DO find a line, do you seriously expect 13 year olds to recognize that line responsibly considering their immaturity? A responsible educator is neglecting his social obligation to these children if he/she fails to punish ALL use of such a derogatory sobriquet.

The kid in question hears the term used so often that at some point, he necessarily becomes desensitized to the term...at least to some extent.

This incident occurred at Kimball Middle School in Elgin, Illinois. If the authority figures there can't figure this one out on their own, perhaps we need to help them.

The principle is Alan Tamburrino and the number to the school is 847-888-5290.

Two many boobs...

http://tinyurl.com/y8ufsnp

A Veteran's Day

I love this guy...

We will never have another generation like Tom Brokaw discusses in The Greatest Generation.

That is really a bad thing because that generation saved the world from Hitler and Nazism. The way they grew up, most of them suffering through the Depression, they had strength and ethics the likes of which we haven’t seen since. They had no welfare or entitlement programs so they had no other choice than to learn to take care of themselves. Pride stood in the way of taking hand outs. I’ve been around long enough to have seen things change and even long enough to see the backlash to some of the changes that have occurred.

It’s interesting to look back and see how people have changed over the years. I remember the Viet Nam War and all of the protests that occurred then.

That war has affected us far more than most people would be able to tell. There were a lot of people who thought that the war was so bad that most Americans we actually looked down upon the soldiers themselves, something we couldn’t imagine nowadays. Many people evaded the draft in one way or another and didn’t feel the least bit bad about it. A lot of them did it legally by going to college and majoring in education. That way, the schools have been full of relatively liberal teachers since that war and now those students are running most of the universities and that is why so many of them are so liberal. As those people age and retire, we will begin to see more conservative people taking care of colleges.

I remember that there was only one girl in my high school that got pregnant, at least only one that everybody knew about. She didn’t tell us, we found out. But the originally story was that she had rheumatic fever. Society itself kept pregnancies from happening because we had bad words for girls who “did”. Then, when they legalized birth control in the early 60’s and abortion in the early 70’s, it wasn’t so important anymore whether or not a girl “did”.

So, we had that crazy decade we so fondly remember, the 70’s.

We had been an agricultural society for 5,000 years so we pretty much had to depend upon the nuclear family to survive. But as we have gone from an agricultural society to one based on industry and then technology and service, we have changed so much that the nuclear family isn’t as necessary as it once was. That, combined with birth control, abortion and the loose morals of the 70’s has changed us so quickly that we can’t stop long enough to figure out what standards are important to us anymore. Not that birth control is a bad thing, but the timing of it’s availability sucked.

Less than 200 years ago, a person rarely traveled 30 miles away from his birthplace in his entire life. He pretty much knew that he was going to live and die in the same place and work the same job and stay with the same family for his entire life so he knew what he was up against.

Nowadays, we have no clue where we will die or who will take care of us until we do. So, there is quite a bit more confusion when we try to figure out what we should base our actions upon. Our roles are less clearly defined and when someone does try to define a role, we bash them down and call them racist or sexist or some word that ends with ist and then they shut up and anyone else who might come along and try to define a role is stifled and quieted before they even open their mouths. That’s why I think blogs can be of such importance nowadays.

People can speak quietly without being afraid of losing the next election or losing their entire customer base. I am not afraid of some nut who would like to get his or her name on TV by calling me names, who cares what they call me? I can write whatever I’d like and I really have nothing to lose. So, I don’t have to worry about political-correctness, I can just be honest and speak my mind in a society where you generally must follow some silly rules to be able to speak publicly. We seem to have found a way to fill our country with people that say what we want to hear. Isn’t that nice? The entire purpose of freedom of speech was to be able to keep us better informed and therefore better able to make informed decisions. But, we stopped that, didn’t we? If you think that this country has freedom of speech, try to stand up and discuss fatherless families amongst the different races. We have the freedom to say politically popular things and no more.

How we have learned to trust this government is beyond me. We have allowed ourselves to become dependent upon the same government that tells us what we can and cannot say or do. They have, with the help of a very strange media, cut the ties that bind. It is very unpopular to say that fathers are a good thing. Who needs them? The government has taken the place of them so that’s one tie broken. The nuclear family is no longer of any value and if you get up and try to point that out, you will be called sexist. If you even suggest that certain minorities would be better off if they had a lower fatherless rate, you will be called racist. God forbid you should mention religion in any other than a negative light, you will be called a far right fanatic. So, we have been effectively shut up over the past few decades. We can speak, but we can only say what the media wants us to hear. As a writer, I have seen so many times when liberal publications wouldn’t accept my work unless it was an issue that I had a liberal slant on. The same thing with conservative publications, they won’t buy my work unless I have a conservative slant. So, in this nation of freedom of speech and a free press, this blog is the very first time in my life that I have had freedom of speech or the right to publish whatever I wanted to publish. I wonder how long it will be before someone is offended by a blog and doesn’t like the way it makes them feel. We won’t even have this for very long. Somebody, somewhere, will find a way to sue us.

To the knothead who responded to the post below this one

OK...

...I've laughed too much and it's barely 7 AM. All I had to see was Women's Institute before I realized what the motivations of the WISER Institute were.

You have to understand, not ALL women are idiots...just those who can't see past abortion, health care and their own convoluted ideas of feminism.

"So, after calming the decent women who have been brainwashed by the media into thinking Feminism has something positive to do with all women and any child, I will continue addressing the lies of the less-than Wiser Institute."

Let's see if I can make it simple for you nimrods who believe that Tea Party members are racist. As I said, my case that Obama is a big plateful of spaghetti loses steam when he fails to show up with a meatball on his head. I still see no such meatball on the heads of the Tea Party members.

I didn't ask for a half assed "survey" taken by some liberally slanted Women's group, I asked for nothing more and nothing less than one simple example of racism attributed to a Tea Party member. If they are truly racists, that can't be terribly tough, not even for a group of women.

PS Why does that comment seem so Upper Eastern to me? Upper Eastern, liberal and female at that.

It seems as though...

...calling the Tea Party a bunch of racists is getting popular again. I still haven't heard a single example of their racist ways but what the heck, you don't need logic today, do you?

I could call Obama a big plate of spaghetti but without a meatball on his head, my case looses some steam.

Once again, I invite anyone who thinks of the Tea Party as racists to present one single example backing up their claim. Go ahead, try it, I dare ya.

I like this team...

If memory serves...

...the last time I has sex, it was wonderful. My BF and I went out to eat, had a lovely conversation that continued to my house and evolved into a make out session on the couch. Things took their course and before I knew it, we were in my room having some serious adult playtime. Somehow, we ended up in an upside-down 69 position (is that a 96?) and, blah, blah, blah...we both had smiles on our faces.

Without a thing to complain about, I laid back and basked in the post-orgasmic glory that follows excellent sex. Before long, however, I realized that I had somehow become the unwitting recipient of a head full of cum. My day began with a shower and a head full of clean hair. But, as fun as that romp in the hay was, it left my head full of clumps-O-cum mixed with hair. I couldn't leave the house like that (what if other sexually active people noticed the tell tale signs of a post sex head full of cum?), so naturally, I needed to take another shower and wash my hair again.

Now...my BF had been as pleasant and as charming and he could be. He treated me to a nice meal and he even made sure that our playtime was pleasant for me. He was a peach. But, that didn't change the fact that my head was full of cum.

President Obama campaigned as a charming candidate, made me promises and told me how badly my previous President had treated me. He assured me that he would treat me so much better that I smiled a LOT, feeling as though I had happened upon a wonderful guy...one who would care for me and my needs. He offered me solutions to my problems and assured me that I would be cared for in my old age.

Like a new lover, he called all the "other guys" my enemies and promised to make them ride in the back seat as he and I rode in the front, with all of the controls at my fingertips. He promised to see to my needs first, to work with all the other "good guys" and to respect me in the morning.

And after all of those hopeful plans, here I sit with cum in my hair. And what does Obama do about it? He blames my last President for putting it there even though he was the one who promised to wash it all out! Geesh.

Alrighty Then

An Oregon man has settled a federal lawsuit over what he says was his First Amendment right to express himself by giving the finger to sheriff's deputies.

The Oregonian reports Robert Ekas settled the suit for $4,000.

In his lawsuit, Ekas said that in July 2007, he flipped off a Clackamas County deputy while driving, and the deputy gave him tickets for illegal lane change and improper display of license plates. Ekas was acquitted on the citations. A month later, he gave the finger to another deputy, who detained him but wrote no tickets.

Ekas alleged he was being harassed.

A story earlier this year in the Portland newspaper brought Ekas national media attention, including an appearance on Comedy Central's "Colbert Report."

County officials say it was cheaper to settle the case than to proceed with defending the suit.

Years ago...

...I voted in a booth that had a curtain which opened as you pulled the lever that cast your vote. I haven't seen them in a while and I don't know if they even exist anymore.

One election day, when I was married to my idiotex, I assumed that he had voted. After all, he said he would. I HAD voted and even had my Georgia peach sticker to prove it. I asked him if he had voted and if so, where was his peach sticker? He said that he had, indeed, voted and gave me some forgettable story about what had happened to his sticker.

I had that eerie, "This fool is lying again." feeling so I asked him another question. "Did the curtain work right? You know, how it opens when you pull the lever?" That nit wit said, "Oh yeah, that's what happened."

Since I really HAD voted, I knew that Georgia did NOT have that type of voting booth. He was caught in a bold face lie. Once again, he lied over some stupid fact that wouldn't have mattered one way or another. I wish I had a similar litmus test for all of his lies, but alas, I did not. And, he was quite good at lying. He could convince a woman that the legs on her panty hose didn't match.

I doubt that he voted this year but I really don't care. I do, on the other hand, care about today's election.

I actually READ the piles of campaign literature that came to the house and in doing so, I read a two page letter supposedly written by Cathy Hurlbut's husband. (I'm not making that name up, she's running for county board here in Kane County.) That entire two page epistle was totally void of any idea, opinion or piece of pertinent information. Rather, it was nothing but a "charming" account of Mrs. Hurlbut's personal history including the story of how she met the dismally named Mr. Hurlbut. Needless to say, I was not impressed.

Then, one day last week my friend and I were sitting on the couch chatting. We were about 15 feet from the front door. Shortly after that, I went outside to check the mailbox again. (We are still waiting for our Oprah Show cache!) On the door, I found some campaign literature from Mrs. Hurlbut that had written upon it, "Sorry I missed you!". No one had knocked on the door at all BUT this time, pertinent issues were discussed.

There were two issues that I was particularly curious about. I wondered what Mrs. Hurlbut's rationale was when she cast her county board votes, past and future, so I accepted her kind invitation to, "Feel free to call or email me if you have any concerns or questions!" I sent this email to the email address printed next to her invitation:

Hello Cathy,

I have two questions for you. Firstly, why did you oppose the red light camera? Secondly, now that the county is operating with such a large surplus, what are the plans for that cash? Could it be given back to the people who overpaid OR will there be a tax decrease to reflect the overpayment?

Thank you for your time,

Meg Kelso

As I said, that was last week. My mother was a Du Page County Board member so I know that there aren't millions of communiques flooding into a member's home. There is an occasional question and an occasional nut who calls the house, but other than that, there aren't a lot of people who really seem to care enough about county politics to go out of their way to query the candidates.

To this day, I have not received a reply from the esteemed Mrs. Hurlbut. I have concluded that either:

1. She doesn't really want to be on the county board.
2. She is extremely confident that she will win and therefore feels no need to respond to questions from her constituency.
3. She has no good answer to my questions.
OR
4. She lied when she said that "concerns or questions" were welcome.

Well, Mrs. Hurlbut, I need all the information I can get before I vote today. Thank you very much for your assistance in that matter!

What would YOU do...

If you woke up one morning and saw this:


Personally, this is what I did:



As did my friend:

Too much fun:

Ahhh...this is nice:

Now THAT'S a Scary Dog!!!

Here is the ONE pet in this house that I didn't kill yesterday. After I scolded a kid for overfeeding his new goldfish (thereby making the water far too cloudy) I decided to change the water in that fishbowl as well as that of his sister's fish.

They left for the morning and I assured them both that with all of my fish experience, I could be trusted to oversee the care of their new companions. Earlier, we had taken a pitcher of water and set it aside because if memory serves, that's what you're supposed to do with tap water before you introduce it to your fish. Ideally, I would have waited overnight to use the water but I figured that a few hours might work. I carefully cleaned both fishbowls and then I poured the sparkling clean water into the sparkling clean bowls and next I lovingly grabbed the fish, one at a time, and placed them into their new and improved environments. I was pleased.

About an hour later, I went over to peek at my new charges and I found the fish as dead as dead can be...laying on the bottoms of their respective bowls. It could not be denied...me, myself and I had killed them both. As I thought about the fact that those two kids would be home within an hour (and most likely rush to see their new pets), a panic grabbed me. I wondered how to rectify the murderous act I had just committed.

OK, I thought, goldfish are easy to replace, even if I had to make up some lame story about how the tail of the little girl's fish was no longer light enough to distinguish it from the boy's fish. I figured the new water could explain away a lot.

I immediately began trying to call the mother of those kids but to no avail. I had to get a ride to Wal-Mart and I did. At that point I was just hoping that the local Wal-Mart had fish.

Now, I should mention that I had just taken a shower and hadn't yet brushed my long, wet hair. My ride came so I ran to the car, brush in hand, trying desperately to brush out my wet and tangled locks. I couldn't do that fast enough so when I ran into Wal-Mart, I looked as though I had just stepped out of a shower. Of course, I had, so I must have looked a fright as I approached the nearest cashier.

"Do you have fish? This is an emergency!!!", I declared with a look of panic and a wet head. I attracted a bit of attention but I didn't care. Those kids would be home soon and I did NOT want to tell them that their fish had been unceremoniously flushed down the toilet. The cashier pointed toward the fish and I ran, very pleased, in the right direction. I found a relatively small collection of tanks, all full of various fish. I glanced into the tanks one at a time, and then I glanced at them all for a second time. I was panicking again as I realized that there wasn't a goldfish to be found in ANY of those tanks.

Time was of the essence so I had no time to go out searching for goldfish. I sucked it up and decided that a couple of live Molly's were better than a couple of dead fish so I made the decision to get 2 of them, a yellow one for the girl and a black one for the boy.

Naturally there wasn't an employee to be found so I ran to the pharmacy around the maxi pads and requested an announcement for ANY assistance in the pet department. The pharmacist, obviously annoyed, looked up from his medicine long enough to refer me to the teenager at the pharmacy register. Once again I explained my plight, only this time I confessed my crime.

"I killed two kid's fish and I have to replace them, NOW!"

I waited semi-patiently for help that never arrived so I decided that I could simply do it myself. There was a sheet of paper hanging on the wall that explained how the employees were to "bag" the fish and mark them for sale. I grabbed a big bag, a net and a huge cup for the water. I removed enough water from the tank to fill BOTH fishbowls and then I went hunting Molly's. After a few minutes, I caught the black one but that yellow sucker was a feisty little fish. Eventually I had them both in my bag so I finished the job by putting the UPC number and quantity on the proper area of the bag.

I had been continuously trying to call the mother of the kids whose fish I has assasinated and while I was waiting in the check-out line, I finally got her to answer her cell phone. "Where are you?" I queried. "On my way to Target." she responded. Pleased that I had chosen the right discount store, I told her what I had done, what I was doing and what I was going to do. Then I requested that she not come home for a half an hour. She agreed. She also agreed that it would be best if the news of the deaths came from me.

I quickly went home, washed the death bowls and filled them with Wal-Mart water and new fish. Then I waited for the victims of my crime to walk in the door.

When they did walk in a few minutes later, they did exactly what I thought they would do...they ran to visit their new pets. When they saw the new fish, they were momentarily ecstatic, thinking that I had simply gotten them more. Then, I watched their pathetic faces as they realized that neither of the new fish had a bowl-mate. The reality of the situation was setting in.

Kids being the fickle little suckers that they are, they quickly overcame their grief and fell in love with the new fish. I promise you, I shall not have anything to do with those Molly's. They probably won't survive the week, but it won't be MY fault when they croak.

Have You Ever Seen...

A male camel toe???