Happy Easter...to...someone!

Here's a story for you, I hope it makes you smile.

This Easter may be boring but it couldn’t possibly compare to the disappointment that I suffered on Easter morning of 1965.
The day started out well, I was the only one awake when the sun began to peek over Lake Michigan AND I was the oldest (by implication the smartest) and I was ready to find every egg the Easter Bunny had hidden before the brats even had a chance to find one.

As soon as I woke up, I noticed that something was amiss. There was no basket at the foot of my bed as there had been in years past. I didn’t mind too much, I figured that it had to be somewhere. So, I jumped stealthily out of bed and wandered through the hallway to the bathroom, keeping a watchful eye out for any eggs that might have been hidden in the crocheted toilet paper roll holder that sat on the back of the toilet. The lack of any hidden eggs didn't worry me yet, the Easter Bunny usually confined his egg-hiding activities to the other side of the house.

As I walked into the living room, I noticed very little evidence of any bunny activity. The light wasn’t good yet because it was rather early, but all I found was my mother sleeping on the couch.

Appalled, I tapped my mother on the shoulder and said, “Mom, the Easter Bunny didn’t come!”

For a moment, mother seemed as shocked as was I. She opened her eyes and looked out the sliding glass doors. I don’t know what I thought she could do about the situation but I didn’t know where to register Easter Bunny complaints and when I was that short, Mommy’s were in charge of pretty much everything so I was sure that my own mother would find the Easter Bunny, wherever he was, and demand that he come to our house immediately.

I was about to be severely disappointed.

Mother shouted, “Shit!” Then she jumped up and said, “QUICK!!! Help me hide the eggs”!"

Can you imagine how my little mind processed that unexpected turn of events? I had to come to terms with the fact that there was, in fact, no Easter Bunny. Not only that, but I had to hide the eggs myself while Mother tended to the Easter Baskets. That was a very vexing day for me and Easter has never been the same since.

Oddly enough, months later my father made that Easter even worse by blaming me for the egg that no one found. It had been stinking up the house for days and as a child, I never made the connection. It was only after an exhaustive sniffing out of the house by a family of 8 that the source of the foul odor was found. I had stuck it in a planter that hung on the wall. In the 60’s they used a lot of fake plants so it’s not like anyone watered it or tended to it. So, that egg just waited to be found through the spring and well into the summer of 1965.

How was that MY fault? It was my fault because I should have “known better than to hide an egg so high off the ground”. After all, how could my 3 year old brother Wayne find an egg that was 3 feet above his head? You know, that kid found a way to run out of the house naked on a regular basis and walked on the counters so much that once he had a spiral burn on the bottom of his foot. (I actually had one of those myself, only the spiral burn was on my hand. The real estate agent was taking us on the final walk through of our first new house in the suburbs. He showed my parents how to operate the electric stove and afterwards, my 6 year old mind wondered if it was hot when it was NOT red. So, I decided to find out. I put my right hand flush on the burner that had only 3 minutes ago been red. As we drove back into Chicago, I held my hand on the wet, cold, window to lessen the pain.) Anyway, who would have thought that the little monkey couldn't find an egg in a wall planter that actually had a wing back CHAIR UNDER IT!?

There are 2 kinds of people in this world…those who hide the eggs and those who find them. I’ve been hiding eggs ever since 1965 and I’m ready to find one…just one. Is that too much to ask? One damn Easter Egg? I don’t even care that I don’t have a ham, an Easter Basket or a bonnet…but the fact that I could look all day and not find one colored egg makes me want to take my 5 eggs and scramble the dickens out of them.

April Fool's Day jokes

For anyone who chooses to pass a doobie on April Fool's Day, here's something that promises to be rather annoying. It's simple enough, as you pass the item between your fingers, suddenly suffer a sneeze attack. I don't mean one of my father's ghastly sneeze attacks...he goes FAR out of his way (risking ruptured cerebral blood supplies...his, mine...anyone else's in the room.), I mean one of those quick little achews...you know, just enough to move your hand every time he or she goes to receive your "package". I thought of it after two REAL quick little sneezes...I just never stopped. I do so tickle me.

Oddly enough, for a man who tried to inculcate a sense of "SHUT UP!" in his children, his sneezes are unnecessarily and frighteningly loud. I've seen him terrorize babies with his startlingly frightful and ridiculously loud sneezes. If one of his children had tried that ONCE he would have started with an "Is that NECESSARY?" and then continued on in a manner consistent with his mood. To this day he scares the crap out of me every time he sneezes.

But, back to practical jokes. With April Fool's Day coming up, I've been thinking about some of my favorite pranks. One that I've enjoyed over many, many decades is one that requires a bobby pin, rubber band, button and an envelop. You might need a small pair of needle nose pliers (I do.) or just really strong fingers.

OK...that's the picture that I drew in Paint. It actually took me over half an hour. Don't ask, you had to be there. Turning the ends of the bobby pin back so that the rubber band doesn't slip off is the part for which you may need the pliers. The yellow part is the rubber band, tie it in a square not to one end of the bobby pin, then before tying it to the other end, put the rubber band through one hole in a button and then through another one so it comes out the same side of the button. (I know there should have been 4 holes on the button I drew but it was too tough to draw the 2 stupid holes that I did put there so I just assumed you guys would know that the button was wrong and mock me.)

OK...now you need to spin the button around and around, also twisting the rubber band at the same time. (If your button has holes too large to hold the rubber band taut, tie the band in knots between the button holes. I'd just find a button with smaller holes.)

Now, holding the button in place, slide the entire thing into an envelop, close the envelop (tuck in the flap, don't seal it.) and fold it in half. Some people just write "Rattle snake rattle" on the envelop but I don't. Instead, I wait until the moment the person I hand it to has reached the point of no return and opens the envelop and I say, "Is that alive?" Anyway, you're supposed to write on the envelop and then hand it, still folded, to them. When they begin to open the envelop, the button spins, hitting the envelop and making it shake with a scary sound. Most people, especially girls, will freak.

Watch this video if you want to see it done and at least hear the sound (low as it may be on the vid) and get an idea what I mean.

Now, I have to go eat dinner. I'll be back with other jokes for April Fool's afterwards.

I have quite a following

So...I'm used to the dog curling up at my feet when I sit on the porcelain throne. But this morning, an African Grey parrot walked in the bathroom, climbed up my jammie bottoms and sat on my knee. I'm not sure what it is about me in the bathroom, but I'm attracting a managerie every time I go.

Sorry, I had no pictures of the animals in the bathroom, I didn't have a camera on me. But the above pics are pictures of Henry. He loves to spend time walking all over me and he's really an affectionate bird, if you like bird beak kisses.

Butkis...my wee munchkin...

This is the source of all the affection I receive or need. He has never once lied to me, I know where he sleeps every night and he's never once come home with a bitch. None of my husbands can say the same.

Twinkies vs. Peeps...A fair compromise?

Leave it to a friend from junior high school to come up with a happy solution to the problem I discussed in the previous post. If I was willing to eat a bacon wrapped Peep, I shouldn't have any problems with the Twinkie Peep-mobile.

That was a very creative Peep recipe and I envy the person who had the time to take this creation from inception, through planning, shopping, the actual creative process (productively speaking), and the actual presentation of their opus. But I think I'd take this one step further...I'd shove a stick up the Twinkie AND the Peeps backside and make them palatable over a nice little campfire. I wish I could build a camp fire, but someone always thinks that you need a firetruck to put it out and I just don't think so. As a girl scout, we made little camping cooking grills out of a churchkey can opener, an empty coffee can and some screen for the actual grill. (Of course, you wouldn't need the screen to roast the Peenkie's) If   altogether year old girls can avoid starting a forest fire, I think we can hanlde them ourselves. But, since the firemen always bring cops, I think I'll just avoid the fire altogether.

Anyway, I think I'll relax a bit before I go to bed...so off I go to do just that. See ya later!

Lord...I hate Peeps.

OK...maybe it does evoke an "Ick!" but seriously, the bacon can ONLY help those despicable little suckers. I've scraped more Peeps off of my carpet than ANYONE ever ate.


Oh...and I remember looking forward to chocolate bunnies, jelly beans and the one toy we always received and I can assure you, I NEVER looked forward to Peeps. I would have traded them to my obnoxious brother for an egg yolk. And now that I think of it, I don't EVER remember one of my kids asking for them. I only bought them because they were decorative. If I made marshmallow amoebas and coated them with sugar...would you eat them too? I'm sorry, as you can see, I have a hard time with Peeps. They've been darkening Easter for decades and they just won't go away. BUT...TWINKIES on the other hand...are out. Aleins looking at our dietary habits would shake their heads in confusion because even to an alien, a Twinkee beats out a Peep every day of the year. Oh, and Twinkees don't disappear for most of the year. Screw those stupid little ducks!

Other stuff that probably doesn't help...

...and I wouldn't have really thought about it but a friend mentioned it to me. I seem to be missing a faculty or two insofar as my brain is concerned. They're things that don't seem as though they would make a difference but they do make me wonder what I HAVEN'T picked up on.

Every so often, when I'm in the company of others, I find myself wondering where the heck they went. I look around, get up and try to find them and then, if I'm worried enough, I call them. Once they mention it, I DO remember them telling me that they were going to the store or whatever. But if they didn't tell me, I'd think they were missing. I attributed that to getting older. I also blame age  for the fact that when they put words on the TV, subtitles or weather alerts, I can't finish reading them before they take the words down. When I was in elementary school, they took me out of my reading class to go, by myself, to the learning center where they would stick me in a dark closet and I would sit there on a chair, reading the sentences that rolled past me from a projector behind me. After I read the story, I would take an SRA quiz and then they'd stick me back in the closet and run another story, only faster. After another quiz, the same cycle continued. They were amazed not only at the speed of my reading, but my comprehension of what I read. In college, I always finished exams first because I was so fast at reading and making the correct decisions that I graduated summa cum laude. Now I can't keep up with the subtitles in The Lord of the Rings when the elf's speak elvish.

A few times a week, I find myself lying on the bed or sitting on the couch and I have no idea how I got there. I attributed that to petit mal seizures.

A few other minor things occur and most of them, and the ones I already mentioned, began after my last stroke. Things like loss of balance, left-sided weakness and sudden onset stuttering can annoy the dickens out of me but they don't really worry me too much, I just adapt my behavior and get around these things.

Some things can't be blamed on age or strokes like the fact that I have hallucinations. Auditory mostly but some are olfactory and sensory. I've had them since I was in my 20's. They scared me at first, but I realize they're not there so after I say, "What?", I go on about my day. I'm so used to them that I don't think I've mentioned it to a doctor. Actually, I only mentioned it to some Jehovah's Witnesses and they didn't believe me so I pretty much just keep it to myself. Nowadays they might perplex me for a moment, but I figure it out quickly, I don't lose touch with reality although sometimes I wish I could.

These are all things that I just deal with, they've become second nature to me. But as I said earlier...what am I missing?

I may be stupid...

...but apparently I'm not Gold Medal stupid. I've never paid a dime for fortune tellers, palm readers or astrology-type seers. Nancy Reagan, Princess Diana and all 10 0f the idiots listed on this link:

http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/tv/long-island-medium/10-celebrities-who-use-psychics.htm

and I would NOT get along. The extent of my own personal "pyschic" activities consists of opening fortune cookies after enjoying a lovely General Tso's dinner with a nice spring roll on the side. I actually enjoy eating the cookies with hot tea after dinner. They're not as sweet and heavy as most desserts yet they satiate my sweet tooth after dinner. I always enjoy opening those suckers except when I'm on a first date. That can be an embarrassing moment if my fortune says, "Today you will meet the man of your dreams." or if his says, "Beware of red heads." Barring that, I do enjoy fortune cookies. Practically speaking, I have used the lottery numbers from them in the past, once I got 4 out of 6 numbers for about 70 bucks.

Outside of fortune cookies and an occasional reading of my horoscope (for entertainment purposes only, of course), but only if it's next to the Jumble, Sudoku or the daily crossword puzzle, I leave the psychic's, mediums and readers alone. I don't even bother to call their patrons out on the scam...if people want to spend their disposable cash on such things, who am I to judge? I could own a beautiful, championship size pool table with all the quarters I've pumped into other people's tables.

What does slightly annoy me isn't the fact that these people do what they do, it's the fact that some of the scammers (many, actually) seem to think that this blog is a good site on which they may attempt to advertise for free. They "hide" the ads in comments on posts written years ago and some of them try to imply that they've actually read the post. Here is an example of that type of nitwit:

An Excellent Blogpost Relevant to the Topic. It really generates a new thinking pattern in the viewers. Please pursue with your Blogging Activities.

That comment was followed by a link to some "Dr. something" who claimed to be able to cast spells. I never had my comments moderated until some whack job started attacking readers who left comments. He's been gone for years but I need to keep people free to comment, anonymously if necessary. I never minded dealing with people who attacked me, as you've noticed if you've been here for awhile. But, I can't let people abuse normal people. I hated to have to moderate the comments but the advertising scam is another good reason to have the moderation. And what some fail to realize, no matter how many years back you go to comment, they are all sent to me by e-mail and I decide then whether or not to post the comment. I haven't had to deal with the lunatic who began the moderation for a long time but you never know. So, normal people, feel free to spout off about anything, do it anonymously if you'd like, I wouldn't blame you. You can always get in touch with me personally by e-mailing me at Megkelsobroderick@gmail.com or friend me on Facebook under Meg Kelso in Tampa.

Anyhoo, back to the reason I started this post, here is a "comment" left today:

his is a testimony that i will tell to every one to hear. i have been married four 4years and on the fifth year of my marriage, another woman had a spell to take my lover away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 2years until i meant a post where this man Send Me Cash have helped someone and i decided to give him a try to help me bring my love Husband home and believe me i just send my picture to him and that of my husband and after 48hours as he have told me, i saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids and that is why i am happy to make every one of you in similar to met with this man and have your lover back to your self. His email: sendmecash@hotmail.com he is a good man and straight forward human  

Obviously, I changed the name and e-mail addy, but I simply pasted exactly what I copied, the entire "comment. Yes, it began in the middle of a sentence. I know not why but I sense a of lack of experience with the English language.

Robbery Update

I gave the robber dude until 6 PM to bring me the money he stole or I would call the cops. He just came by 5 minutes ago (it's about 5PM) and gave me a good chunk of the cash he stole. He was very repentant and, with his head hanging low (literally), asked me to take the money he had and give him until payday to give me the rest. I agreed, considering myself lucky to get any of it back. He acted so sadly apologetic that I did what I do, I shook his hand and thanked him for bringing back the money and I literally forgave him and told him that I've done stupid things too. I think more people should hold their stones.

How do I do it?

Yesterday I was asked, "How do you get yourself in to these predicaments?" I immediately thought that it was a good question. It's not that I haven't asked myself that same thing, but yesterday it just struck me as something that deserved to be pondered and put down in writing...for the benefit of others as well as my own.

It's been my experience that whatever your issue is, you can assume that many others are having the same issue stressing them out as well. The Internet has proven that point. This blog has proven it to me, over the years, many people have written to say that they were experiencing the same things that I was experiencing. Therefore, I assume that some of you have some of the issues that I plan to discuss. With any luck at all, it will help someone.

I've been thinking about the question and I think it boils down to the fact that I'm too trusting. I do the dumbest things, things that, in hindsight are embarrassing to put out here. The following is a perfect example:

The other day a guy wanted to borrow 60 bucks from me. I said that I couldn't access it until I went to the store and used the ATM. He convinced me that he needed it now and he talked me out of my card and my PIN. He stole hundreds of dollars from me that day...all taken out from an ATM on Racetrack Road.

I can't think of a word that does justice to the stupidity of my behavior. In hindsight, I did something that I myself would call another person an idiot for doing. But, at the time I handed over my card, I just couldn't imagine that the dude would rob me. He knew that the money was from the state, given to me so that I could relocate out of the area of the guy in the mugshot below. It was all I had. I wanted to go to the Goodwill today and buy some clothes but I can't do that now. I wanted to buy something for a grandson's second birthday. I have no further money coming in and no hopes of receiving any money in the foreseeable future. How could anyone take advantage of a person like that? It just never occurred to me that anyone could do that.

Rick did so many things that would point to him being an adulterer and if I were on Jerry Springer's stage, the audience would break out in uncontrollable guffaws when Rick gave them the same lame excuses I fell for. It just never occurred to me that the man I was married to would lie to me about something so serious. Surely the man I loved and respected wasn't a cowardly, lying cheat...and a cruel one at that. No, that can't be.

Most recently, I dealt with another manipulative bully. He called everyone I knew including my ex-husband, my children and every friend he had access to, whether it be from my phone, his phone that I may have borrowed or the minute I actually friended him on Facebook. He actually spoke to the doctors when I was in the hospital. He did it on a Monday and afterwards, every single staff member treated me differently. The doctors had a very angry affect that they seemed to restrain with difficulty. The nurses weren't any better. I'll never know what he told the doctors and I'll never know what he told my kids. One of them hasn't spoken to me since the last time Walter called them. Every single time he did something atrocious, he would spend days blaming me for the most recent nastiness.

At some point, I couldn't take anymore of that, but while I was there, I bought the stupid "reasons" for his behavior. Usually he just denied it but if he couldn't, he would have some excuse or another...either his health was bad, he was off his meds, his mother was in a nursing home and then, when she passed away I didn't even want to stick around to see what he would excuse with her death.

So, basically, I guess I'm an idiot. I admit it and they say that's half the problem.

One last thing, I have trouble saying. "No." People who know me for any length of time know that and many of them take advantage of it.

Now, I must finish with this, I take too much and then when I'm ready to blow, I do. I've given the guy who robbed me until he "gets off work at 6" and then I'm calling the cops. The way I feel right now, I may not even wait.

Stay tuned, we'll be right back!

Yesterday, after someone perused the posts below this one, they queried of me:


"How do you get yourself in to these predicaments?"

I responded that she had asked an excellent question and that I was going to address it in a blog post. I planned to do so this morning. But, before I had a chance to do that, I found out that I had been robbed of hundreds of dollars. So, girlfiend, I've done it again. Let me go to the blog and see if I can figure out what the hell keeps happening to me. Back soon.

I just found this information regarding a family member...check out the names of some of the towns!

Here is some long sought after information regarding the death of my great aunt Virginia. It just fell into my lap-top when I was doing some other family research. I have been trying to find out how my great aunt Virginia died. It also contains other information about my great grandmother Pansy and other family members. This will be interesting to anyone descended from The Leedy or Mathena families from Tip Top Virginia and Bluefield.

Mathena/Reynolds Deaths, 1940 or 1941 - Tazewell Co. VA

FORMER VA. SIDE GIRL, TIP TOP MAN VICTIMS

Van Fatally Injures Noah Mathena and Virginia Reynolds

A Bluefield Va., girl and her uncle, a native of Tip Top, were fatally injured early today when struck down by a huge moving van on the highway some 25 miles north of Roanoke. Victims of the dual highway tragedy were Mrs. Virginia Leedy Reynolds, 26 of High Point, Md., and Noah Mathena, 43, of Washington. Today in Bluefield sanitarium, Mrs. Pansy Leedy Whitlock, of Roanoke, herself injured in an accident Saturday night, was told of the deaths of her daughter and brother.

TIRE BLEW OUT

A tire blew out on the automobile in which Mr. And Mrs. Mathena, their daughter, Connie May, and the niece, Mrs. Reynolds, were driving to their eastern homes. Mr. Mathena stooped on the road to fix the tire and Mrs. Reynolds was holding a flashlight to guide him when the dual tragedy occurred. The wife and child were not injured.

The party had left Tip Top only yesterday afternoon for home after paying a last visit at the sanitarium to Mrs. Whitlock, mother of Mrs. Reynolds and sister of Mr. Mathena. Mrs. Whitlock, wife of a Roanoke railroad man, had been visiting her sister and brother at her old Tip Top home when she fell and broke her ankle Saturday.

JOINT FUNERAL

Bodies of both the Tazewell countians will be brought to Bluefield today and then taken to Tip Top where joint rites will be held tomorrow. Ms. Reynolds, the youthful auto accident victim, was born in Bluefield, Va. on August 4, 1914. She attended Graham high school and on September 22, 1938, was married to Ernest Reynolds, of Brooklyn, N.Y., formerly of Bluefield, Va. She is also survived by the following sisters: Mrs. Mamie Caldwell, of Hollins, Va.; Mrs. Ruth Dillon, of Radford, Va.; Miss Louise Leedy, of  Roanoke; and two brothers, Harry Leedy, Jr., of Hollins, and Steve Leedy, of Roanoke.

TIP TOP NATIVE

Mr. Mathena, the other victim, was born at Tip Top in 1898, son of the late Mr. And Mrs. S. P. Mathena, and was first married to Miss Flora Peak, of Bluefield, Va. He leaves on daughter, Connie May. Following the death of his first wife, Mr. Mathena later married Miss Mildred Clark, of Roanoke. He leaves his wife and the following sisters: Mrs. Ella Barrett, of Nemours; Mrs. Jane Mathena, of Mud Fork; Mrs. Mary Tate, of Nemours; Mrs. Willie Clara Dawson, of Tip Top, and Mrs. Pansy Whitlock, of Roanoke; and the following brothers: S.P. Mathena, of Boissevain, and John Mathena, of Tip Top.

The accident which took the lives of two Tazewell countians reportedly occurred at 1 a.m. today on the Lee highway three miles south of Buchanan, Va. Relatives here were informed by wire of the fatalities.

Tip Top, VA. Walter Mathena Correspondent

Tip Top, Va., Sept 28. - Last rites were held here Wednesday afternoon for Noah Mathena, and Mrs. Virginia Reynolds, victims of a dual highway tragedy agout 25 miles north of Roanoke, Va. The accident occurred while Mr. Mathena was fixing a flat tire, as his niece, Mrs. Reynolds, held a light for him. A large moving van, from North Carolina, struck the two, killing Mr. Mathena instantly, while Mrs. Reynolds lived to reach a hospital before succumbing.

Both victims well known here, Mr. Mathena having been born and reared in Tip Top. He was employed on a construction job in Washington D. C., at the time of his death. He is survived by his wife and one child, and the following sisters, Mrs. Ella Barrett, and Mrs. Mary Tate, of Nemours, W. Va.; Mrs. Jane Mathena of Mudfork, Va.; Mrs. Pansy Whitlock, of Roanoke; Mrs. Willie Clara Dawson, of Tip Top, and two brothers, S. P. Mathena of Boissevain, and John Mathena of Tip Top. Mrs. Reynolds was formerly from Bluefield, Va., although she lived here for several months last year. She was the daughter of Mrs. Pansy Whitlock, of Roanoke. She is survived by her husband and several sisters and brothers.

Joint funeral services were conducted by the Rev. Dan Gillespie, of Bluefield. Interment was in Mathena cemetery.

Submitted by June Barnes

Annoying conversation...

...that I had yesterday with someone playing Words With Friends:

HE: How do you spell "feisty"?

ME: F, E, I, S, T, Y.

HE: "That doesn't work, could you look at my phone and make a word? I can't come up with one and I'm losing."

ME: OK, give me the phone.

HE: Thanks! 42 points! Wow.

HE: Is There one or two E's in the word "gleeful"?

ME: Two.

HE: That won't work, could you see if you can make a word?

ME: OK, give me the phone.

HE: Here.

HE: Thanks! That put me ahead!

ME: Good for you!

HE: I only have consonants, what do I do?

ME: You could find a vowel and put a consonant before and after it.

HE: Show me how.

ME: OK, here's an I, you could put the M and D on either side.

HE: Here, I made MID! Look!

ME: The D is on a triple letter square, you should have made DIM.

HE: Why? MID worked.

ME: (This is where I tried to explain why the triple M would be worth more than the triple D. It took awhile but it finally sunk in.)

HE: Oh, I see. Could you make another word without vowels?

ME: It's not your turn yet, wait until your opponent plays and they might give you a better place for a word.

HE: They made SWATHE all along the side, I can't leave a letter in the middle. Here, what should I do?

ME: OK, let me see. Well, you could put the D on the triple word space below SWATHE and then you'd have SWATHED for triple score.

HE: I'm stuck again, could you see if you can make a word? I don't want to lose again.

ME: If you can't do it, why don't you see if the computer can make words for you with your letters?

HE: No, that would be cheating.

Do you know me well enough...

...to know when I'm being dry or serious? I have a friend in the publishing business who made a comment. I responded to it (without giving my OWN beliefs one way or another) and was hit with a stunning comment. What do YOU think I was trying to say?

THEY SAID: I shared an email blast on LinkedIn about Bill Clinton, gay rights and the constitution, only, about 15 people were offended. They threatened me because I said being gay is a sexual preference and marriage is between a man and a woman. I'm straight, and I'm not for gay marriage, that's it. I learned many years ago that sex is in the mind, we were born with sexual organs that tell us if we are a man or a woman. If, people want to have sex with a man or woman, that is called a sexual desire, it's not something we are born with. Well, anyway I was attacked by the gay bi-sexual patrol. lol.

I SAID: Fascinating. You must not simply agree with another's RIGHT to their own sexual preference...you must go further and ENDORSE it. You have no business in their bedroom, but they feel right at home in the midst of YOUR moral bedroom. Hypocrisy at it's most severe.

THEY SAID: I'm not a racist, I'm a realist. You can't handle the truth. Remove yourself from my LinkedIn connections.
I SAID: I just reread your email BLAST to ME again, I didn't deserve that one little bit. It's one thing to simply misunderstand what I'm saying, it's quite another to behave so unjustly. My dry sense of humor has been mistaken before, but this is the first time it wasn't by a 13 year old hormonal she-bully.

THEY SAID: What is your problem Meg?  I didn't get back to you in time, I was on the phone because I have a business I'm attending too.  Please explain to me what you are exactly trying to say.
Let me give you some advice, when you are being funny use LOL after what you write because people don't know when you are being funny or not, especially dry humor.

I SAID: I usually do when I think it could be mistaken. My paragraph was obviously not serious. You seem to have better access to it...reread it. I'm not the impatient one here, you told me to stay away from you forever because you misunderstood. Let me give YOU some advice, if you think that a person you've been aware of for years has suddenly annoyed you, obviously ou'

t of character and unexpectedly, see what they meant before you cut them out of your life forever. Also, I didn't care how long it took you to get back to me, I just thought about how long I've been your contact and I couldn't believe that you would end it over a misunderstanding. The more I thought about that, the more irritated I became.

OK, so what do you guys think? Was I being obtuse? Was I accusing my friend of "racism"? If I was wrong, I NEED to know. If my friend was wrong, THEY need to know. Help me out here folks.

UPDATE: I guess it's my bad. According to the latest response:

"Meg, this is such a non issue, it has nothing to do with what I am doing, I'm an investigative news reporter, when I send a email blast I am just seeing the reactions of people like you, however, I do not know you at all, we are just connected on LinkedIn, so right there you're off the charts. When you want to have an intelligent conversation or debate, you can call me, until then, take care."

OK, as I was always told by the abusive dude I dated last year, "You get mad for no reason!" I have a reason, I know when my feelings have been hurt or I have been angered. I don't allow people to tell me that MY issue is a non-issue...I take that for what it really is..."You've gotten me backed into a corner so since I have no logical answer to your statement, I will dismiss you and your feelings by saying, YOU HAVE NO REASON TO BE ANNOYED!"

BTW, beware of anyone who listens to you state your position and then responds by saying that you have no reason to be annoyed or that you are hurt over something stupid! Trust yourself, if your feelings have been hurt or if you've been angered, then your feelings are what they are, neither good not bad, they simply are what they are. You don't have to justify yourself and if someone would rather totally invalidate what you say to them regarding your feelings, know they're an idiot and would rather dismiss you than simply say, "I'm sorry if I made you feel badly."

Also, in case you didn't know, big important investigative news reporters are too busy to be civil.

Random thoughts: They serve a purpose all by themselves

I think that when you tell a kid what to do, you should tell them why. Otherwise, you might as well send them to boot camp right away.

If you like peppermint and a friend likes wintergreen, sooner or later they should buy peppermint and you should buy wintergreen. If a person lacks that courtesy and you hang around, you will find many other  courtesies lacking as well...and that's never good.

As solid as the Theory of Relativity is the fact that when you take a barky Chihuahua and a yappy dachshund and make a chiweenie, you absolutely cannot override the power of genetics. The chiweenie will never shut up. Like a dude I spoke to the other day, I can't pay attention because all I think is, "Why doesn't he ever take a break? You'd think he'd get a jaw cramp or something." This is one of  those situations where I find myself quietly chanting The Serenity Prayer.

Since I'm cooking as I write this, I'm going to publish this post now because I need to take a large onion and chop part of it up for macaroni and tuna salad, mince part for pico de gallo and slice yet another part for the hamburgers. I'll do my best to get back to the desk before I forget any random thoughts. One way or another, I will be back with more thoughts as long as I'm still physically and cerebrally intact.

See ya really, really soon!

OK, here I be. I was just sitting by the water feeding the local fauna and looking out at the sun glistening off of the relatively calm little waves. It should have been a lovely experience and I guess it was, except for the fact that every so often, something made a splash in the water out of my field of vision. I have no idea what kept making the splashes because whatever it was seemed to be as elusive as the tiny floaters that occasionally visit the periphery of my sight. After I thought about that, it occurred to me that I NEVER see the splashes. I assume they're fish, I DO seem to see the occasional bird crashing onto the surface of  the water. But, if the bird gracefully and quietly slid into the water, I might not see that so it still COULD be a bird.

Anyway, that's how I spent my lunch, sitting by the water in Florida drinking a huge strawberry smoothie that I made myself. It was like fishing only without the alcohol, worms, hook baiting and fish with holes in their mouths. Ya know what? I think I'll be back again, I'm in a good mood and I still haven't finished the smoothie. I shall now do so in the sun.

:):):)

How is the weather?

I was listening to the radio today and I heard Happy Together by the Turtles and when it got to the part where he goes...

"Happy together,
How is the weather?"

...I wondered why the heck they tossed that line in there. I know the whole song is a bit pedantic but seriously...'how is the weather'? The entire song is about love and happiness and then all of a sudden he sings about the weather. Whatever. I bet they had weed at THAT meeting.

OK...earlier this afternoon, when I heard the song, for the first time in over 40 years, I noticed how stupid that was. It was a thought, nothing more but it was one of those thoughts that I write down. I do that a lot, if I can find a pen and paper before I forget what I wanted to remember.

Anyway, when I got the pen and paper, I wrote down my thought and then I kept writing. This is what I came up with, verbatem, as I wrote earlier:

Happy together.
How is the weather?

Why is that sentence there?

I am still writing because I wanted to see how long it would the other person in this room to ask me what the heck is taking me so long. You'd think he would say something sooner rather than later. OK, now he is busying himself with stupid stuff within his reach. I doubt he'll wait too long after he finishes what he's doing, he's rather impatient and we're supposed to be on the way out the door after I write down a thought. Now he's asking me about Google. He's checking his phone. I hope he doesn't explode when he does get sick of waiting. I'm writing this by hand so it's taking me a long time to do it. Ya know, I wish he would just jump us and say something, I'm getting writer's cramp. Now he's talking to me about T-Mobile and roll-over minutes. AHA! He just pleasantly asked me if we could leave now. Uh oh, he just asserted pertly, "I guess that's it!" and he bolted for the door...Gotta go!

Are women stupid or do men just think we are?

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OK...that is an example of the hundreds of advertisements that I have had left in my comments. (I delete them, so you wouldn't see them.) In all the years that I've had this blog, never once have one of these ads seemed to come from a man. Is that because magic only works for women or is that because women are idiots?   Well, being a woman (and a relatively bright woman at that) I know that women are NOT idiots. Of course, some idiots happen to BE women, but that's OK because I've met more than my share of idiotic men as well. So, that leaves us with one option, SOME men (OK, maybe most of them) think that women are stupid enough to believe that contacting a magician who happens to be a man will get us the answers to all of our romantic qualms.   That leaves me with a vexing question...if a magical man can get me the man of my dreams...how does he handle it if he IS the man of my dreams? Does he protect himself from my stupid self, or does he just answers my dreams? OK then, if he knows how to protect himself, he should be able to help other men with that protection, right? So far, not ONE man has offered to sell other men the secret to protecting themselves from the magic that we "stupid" women are using to manipulate them.   And THAT, my friends, is all the evidence that I need to prove that the mind-readers, spell casters and romance curers are fake. Now, if you were already smart enough to figure that out, good for you. If not, I hope that this information saves you from spending money on these charlatans.

A simple etiquette question:

If a doobie is being passed from one person to another and the pasee gets burned...who is at fault (assuming, of course, that fault MUST be assigned), the pasee or the passer?

I simply must know.