I just put Casey to bed...

...and if I don't have a few minutes of down time, I'll scream. So, here I am.

I got a phone call from the bum today. He started out with, "I'm so sorry... can't we just go someplace to talk?"

I'm not about to give him the satisfaction of speaking to me. Nor am I willing to waste anymore of my time over this one. I imagine that whatever his motives may be, they are totally self serving and therefore, I won't speak to him at all. He said that he would give me some "time to get over everything and then we'll talk again."

How arrogant can one man be? This one is Bill Clinton arrogant. Any feelings of sympathy that I may have had for him are history now. I don't feel the least bit sorry for him after the way he's behaving right now.
If he wanted to make it up tome, he would come right out and say that he's sorry, he wouldn't ask me out to "talk". Whatever.

Casey and I watched a movie earlier, Fargo. That's as "chick flick" as we got this evening.


One of the ladies who works for her as a CNA wants to start her own nursing agency and she wants me to let her use my name and my nursing license as a back for her business. She has to have an RN involved somehow, I'm not really sure how. But, I won't just let her take my name and my license number and disappear with it. I told you I wasn't stupid.

Well, I have to get Casey to her beauty salon appointment in the morning so I better go to bed now. See you in the morning sometime!

Ciao!

Meg

Damn...

...I just spent a helluva lot of time trying to make pictures of a puzzle that Mr. Anderson, my 6th grade math teacher gave us in 1969. I've been working on it ever since and I can't seem to figure it out. Now, I can't get it to post. Oh well.

That stupid puzzle has been driving me nuts for decades and I thought that maybe I could get you guys to help me out with it. I'll never forget that teacher. Mr. Anderson taught at Grove Junior High School in Elk Grove Village, Illinois.

My extended family lived all over the country and I remember hearing them say that I lived in "Chicago" so I thought that I lived in some village called Elk Grove in Chicago. I wrote my parents at Elk Grove Village, Chicago Illinois. I'll try to get the stupid puzzle to post and see if you can figure it out later.

Now, I'm just going to meander mentally. I do quite a bit of mental meandering. Some people call me flighty. I'm not. My brain does somehow resemble a butterfly...but that doesn't make me flighty. I said once that talking to me is pretty much like reading the blog. These are the silly things that I would be telling someone who was right here in the room with me. Well, maybe not right now.

Right now if I had someone in the room with me I'd be watching Jeopardy. It's on in the background but it's no fun to watch alone. No one but the ghosts are impressed with my abundant knowledge of useless trivia.

I'm going to pick my friend up and have her spend the weekend with me. Before I couldn't remember what the name was that she wanted me to use when referring to her here in the blog but I asked her and it was Casey. So, Casey is spending the weekend with me. I had misplaced my xanax but I just found it so I should be able to deal with her. I love her but she can be quite demanding. She's an absolute "velvet hammer" and I must be careful around her at all times. Anyway, we'll probably just sit around the house all weekend. Maybe we can watch a bunch of chick flicks. Luckily, this is my house and we have to choose from my movies so I won't end up watching The English Patient or something equally annoying. I think that The English Patient is the female version of Waterworld. You have to be die hard to like either one of them.

Meandering right along...the ribs that I made for dinner last night were absolutely wonderful. I couldn't believe that they came out so tender and yet so well cooked. The meat was tender but not falling off the bone tender. That's a bit too soft for me. I like to bite into the rib meat. But, I don't like it tough like Chinese ribs. Mine were perfect. I also made a macaroni salad, it's on my recipe blog. If anyone wants to send recipes there, feel free to. I'll figure out someway to organize them all and give proper credit if you'd like...or if you're giving away a secret family recipe, I'll keep your name a secret.

And I want the men to send in their favorite meals...all men have at least one thing that they call their specialty and it's usually not too bad so send them in. I'll put all the men's recipes in a separate place. Anyway, here's the link to the site:

http://megsfavoriterecipes.blogspot.com/

And my email address is megbkelso@gmail.com

I'm gonna clean up a bit until our ride gets here to go get Casey and bring her over.

See ya later!

Meg

In less than a half an hour...

...Patsy Ramsey is going to be buried down the street from me, next to her daughter. I don't know what the heck happened back then, but I think her death assures that we'll never know now. The only hope would have been if Patsy spoke, her husband won't. Men are too good at keeping a secret. Of course, there's always the possibility that they had NOTHING to do with Jon Benet's death but if they DID have something to do with it, he won't speak. If he had cheated on her, she might have blown their cover, but other than that, he's too smart to talk now. He'd surely get busted for something.

Jon Benet is buried literally down the street, in front of a junior high. That school used to be the Marietta High School, but the year after my youngest graduated from there, they started using the new building. The old one was surrounded by houses so it couldn't grow at all.

One spring, shortly after the little girl's death, some high school kids vandalized the grave. But immediately after that was discovered, other high school kids cleaned the mess up and started keeping little angels on the tree over looking her grave and the grave itself. Jon Benet's half sister is buried next to her...she was Mr. Ramsey's older daughter who was killed in a car wreck, I think.

Anyway, the street will probably be blocked off at some point but with any luck at all, I'll never know about it because I'm going to go out in the yard and do some work. I have a new rosemary plant that I'm going to put on the top of my terra cotta planter. You know those terra cotta planters with holes in the sides? My grandmother had one with some sort of succulent plant coming out of all the holes. I grow different spices out of each hole.

OH...by the way....." i am the king, and your always wrong" ...I was wondering where in any of my posts did I give that impression?

Actually, it was either a lucky strike or serious perception because that sort of IS the situation. I'm dealing with that right now. I'm so patient, I let a lot go by without saying a word. It's not any good for anyone.

I even SAY to the guy, "I only deal with such shit for a while and then I stop." That's a good enough caveat if you ask me. Now, I just sit back and see what happens. Like I said, I'm very patient.

Of course, with the "John" incident, the other one has been elevated to "only guy" status by default. I don't think that I absolutely have to replace John right away. That can take effort and the effort never works anyway. You just meet someone else in some stupid way.

I still haven't met a guy in a grocery store yet but that's probably because I totally missed the line when it came. I may have taken a grocery store pick-up line like, "Do you know where the Hungry Man's Dinners For One are?" and assumed the guy just wanted to know where the TV dinner's were. I usually miss out on pick-up lines. Rick used to tell me that.

I would be talking to some guy, just to be pleasant, nothing else. And later on, Rick would say, "He was hitting on you." or "He thought you were hitting on him." He would say that guys take my chatting with them as flirting.

Whatever. I haven't changed yet.

When I was 18, I went on a vacation across the Southwest on my way to San Francisco (where I ended up living, actually Petaluma, Ca. for two years.). I was in Hollywood, on Hollywood Boulevard, waiting for my a guy that I met on my trip to come out of his office. I was literally sitting on the curb in front of the building. Some man came up to me and leaned over to ask me a question. He said, "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

I was so pleased with my bad self. I thought that I must be hot, to be getting hit on in Hollywood. Then, my friend came down and took me to a Greek restaurant for lunch. I told him about the guy who thought that I was pretty. He laughed and said, "He thought you were a hooker!"

I wished he hadn't said that. Up until then, I felt totally cool. That just burst my bubble.

Anyway, I just mis-read men so maybe I could have had a grocery store pick-up if I had paid closer attention. Or, maybe I could do the "shopping". Yeah, that's it. No that's no good, I would know all the answers to any questions that you might ask in a grocery store.

Maybe I should try an auto parts store! I can repeat a performance of a stupid thing that I did once The look on the guy's face when I did it was priceless. So much so, that I have to do it again, every so often.

The first time that I did it, I was really just stupid. After that, I did it for the amazing fun of it. I went to an auto parts store because the funnel that I was using for the oil was too big. So, I needed a smaller one. I told the guy at the counter.

He said, "They're all the same size."

"Well, this funnel is too big for my oil hole."

"That funnel fits all cars."

"Not mine."

He was insistent, "They are all THIS size!"

"Well, the hole on mine is a helluva lot smaller than that and the holes in every other car that I've ever had have been the same size. I need the SMALL funnel!"

"Show me where you're putting the oil."

So, I took him outside and showed him. He said, "That's the dipstick hole."

Then, he showed me a HUGE hole that his funnel would fit in. I was amazed. It took half as long to pour and you spilled much less. Then, if it wasn't bad enough that I didn't know that in the first place, I thought other people didn't know it either so I told them.

Eventually, I felt appropriately stupid. I guess I had seen someone check the oil but not need to fill it so I just thought that the stupid tiny hole was the one where you put the oil.

Anyway, after I bought a cam-corder, my daughter and I took it to an auto parts store and filmed me doing that to an innocent clerk. That was fun. I miss my daughter. We have so much fun together.

We go to the Dollar Store and ask for price checks, over and over again. We go to grocery stores or Target and throw tampax in some young dude's cart who happens to be shopping alone. Maybe a douche or two.

That really is fun. You should try it some time. It's really just good, old-fashoined, harmless fun. If you get really creative, you can have a lot of fun for very little money. Just remember to get in line behind the guy so that you can see his reaction when the checker scans the douche.

Well, my kitchen is a mess so I have to clean it up. Then, I'm going to go out and work in the yard for a little while. Have a good afternoon!

Meg

OK...

...I had a bit of fun last night. I love a practical joke and seeing someone shocked by something that I knew was coming.

My married friend used to work with my girl friend's son-in-law. My girlfriend lives in the apartment that used to be her daughter's basement.

She has her own phone line which is in her son-in-law's name. I told her to call me on "John's" cell phone between 8 and 8:30. I knew that by then we would have been sitting down for a while at the place that I had him take me to. I had him take me to the place that I had dates take me when I wanted to lose them. You may remember it, I've mentioned it before.

When we got there, I mentioned that a girlfriend of mine and her husband would be stopping by to say hello to us. He didn't mind.

While we were sitting there talking, his phone rang. I didn't tell him that I gave them his number. When he looked at his phone, he saw the name of a man that he used to work with. As I spoke on the phone to my friend (who had no idea why I told her to call, I just told her that I was playing a trick on someone and to go along with whatever I said.), I watched the nervous look in his eyes. John didn't say a word for a while. A couple of minutes later, he asked me what my friend did for a living. I said, "She's a housewife."

Then, he asked me what her husband did. I said, "Oh, he's an attorney."

He became very uncomfortable and said that he felt sick. I was sure that he did. He was trying to get us out of that place before my friends got there. Now, they weren't really coming, but he didn't know that. He kept trying to leave and I said, "They're not too far and Chasey has a surprise... she said that she wanted to introduce me to someone."

"Who?!" he asked me nervously. I responded, "I don't know, I was just talking to her and she jumped up and told me to wait just a minute. She ran upstairs and then came back down to ask what you and I were doing tonight. Then, she asked if she could stop by to say hello with a surprise."

"Did you tell her my name?"

"Yeah...why?"

"Uh-oh, we have to leave now. Let's get out of here and I'll tell you why."

"Nope, you tell me why and then we'll leave."

He realized that he had to tell me that he was married and as he started to tell me, I couldn't hold back my laughter so he sort of knew something was up. He asked me if I already knew and I said "Yeah, do you think I'm that stupid?"

He didn't know quite what to say and he didn't know if my friend's were coming or not and he didn't know what the surprise was. I told him. I said, "Chasey called your wife and they're on their way here."

He jumped up and said, "If you want a ride home, you better come with me now."

I said, "Nope, I'll get a ride, you better run."

Then, I played pool for a while and finally got a ride home. I can't possibly write down what happened and have it come out as funny as it was in real life, but it was pretty funny. I wish that I had a video camera set up on his face, but I didn't. I just sent him off into the night letting him believe that his wife was aware of his behavior and on her way to catch him. He wasn't too sure how much I knew about the whole set up but he was sure that, one way or another, his wife knew everything. I would have loved to have been to see the look on his face when he went home. I doubt that I'll be hearing from him again.

I ended up having a nice time and I ran into a few friends that I haven't seen in a long time.

OK, it's hot in here so I'm going to take a shower and get dressed, suck coffee and come back to tell you something else.

Be back in a little bit.

Meg

Yeah...

...it would be fun to have a roommate who enjoys my insane sense of humor! It would be so much fun that I'm sure that it would violate my probation in one way or another.

What I'd like to find is a retired person who has nothing better to do than drive me where I needed to go. If I had a driver at my beck and call, I would be able to work and pay the bills myself.

I made a stupid mistake. I didn't think it was a mistake, but looking back, it was. A "friend" of mine needed to use my computer and I didn't mind, of course. So, I let him. I don't sign out of most of my accounts, like Gmail and Blogger, because I don't want to sign in every time I need to go to them. No one else is here and I didn't think I would have to worry about anyone spying into the private areas on my computer. Well, he did.

There's nothing in there that's bad...even if there was, it's my personal computer and I shouldn't have to worry about what I have on it. He got really angry about a couple of emails that I had in there and he really had no reason to do so. He was here once when I was speaking to Rick and he got pretty upset about that. I should have taken that as a red flag but I didn't because Rick and I don't speak that often so I just sort of let it go. He was angry, not just because we spoke but, mainly because we spoke for over an hour.

Now he's seen my emails to Rick and to other people. He has misinterpreted one of them and is demanding that I tell him what it's all about. I refuse to do that. If it had anything to do with him, I would have told him in the first place, not the person to whom I was writing.

I'm dreadfully annoyed over this. I'm far too old to play jealousy games. I haven't had anything this childish happen to me in years. Now, I have to sign off of all of my accounts just in case he should come over and go into the computer while I'm not looking. It's not that I'm trying to hide anything, I just don't want to take the chance of him emailing people under my account or going into the blog and deleting it.

Isn't this ridiculous? And, to top it off, he keeps saying that if I DON'T explain it all to him, he's going to "break up" with me. I keep on not explaining it and he keeps on not breaking up with me.

There's no way in hell that I would explain this crap to him. It's none of his business and if I did explain it all, that would just make him think that I owe him explanations whenever he has any questions.

If I had done something like that to him, he sure the heck wouldn't give me any answers. He would be indignant. He even gets annoyed if I feed the fish behind him when he's on my computer. He's afraid that I'm going to read whatever he's writing. I wouldn't, I don't care. But, the fact that he is always worrying about whether or not I'm trying to sneak around to see what he's doing online and yet he goes out of his way to read what I've written just makes me acrimonious.

A long time ago I read something that said, "He who looks behind doors has stood behind many." So, I think I know why he was so worried that I would read his stuff and yet he feels the need to invade my privacy. He must be doing something online that he thinks would bug me.

I'm pretty damned bugged right now. And, I have to go help take my friend to the beauty salon and he has to help me. This was planned last week and yesterday I asked him if he was still planning on taking us. He said that he would since he promised to but this is going to be very uncomfortable. My friend's appointment is at 4 so I have to get dressed and ready to go. I'll let you know how it went when I get back if I have enough time before my fake date. I have some serious running around to do today so I’ll be back sooner or later.

See ya!

Meg

Luckily, they now sell the donut holes themselves!

I spoke to the married bum...

...and we're "going out" tomorrow night for my birthday since I don't want to blow my real birthday over this stuff. When I spoke to him, I told him that I've been getting a bunch of hang up calls (which is true, but they have nothing to do with him). Tomorrow the calls are going to get worse and by the time he gets to my house, his wife will be "calling me".

I just got my new phone books for the year. The front of the Yellow Page book has something that I've never seen before. It has a warning. The warning actually says, "Please do not use this directory while operating a moving vehicle."

Is this a big problem? Why haven't I heard about it in the news? I didn't realize that people were causing accidents while they were looking up phone numbers instead of paying attention to the road. My dictionary has no such warning, is it OK to use THAT while operating a moving vehicle? There's no such warning on lipstick and that's where we really need a warning. Far too many women are applying make up as they drive and I think that I'm going to start a group against that.

I'll call it WAWAMUWOM...Women Against Women Applying Make Up While Operating Moving vehicles. The bumper stickers will be pretty big but that's OK, we need to catch the attention of the offending women.

The first goal of WAWAMUWOM will be to ensure that all cosmetics contain a warning label presaging the potential dangers of application during operation of moving vehicles.

Then, we'll be pushing for harsher penalties for those women caught violating the first tenet of making up application...the one that says, "Thou shall not beautify one's face whilst thee is operating a moving vehicle." Please notice that sex is not mentioned in the tenet, so men are to be held to the same beautification principles as women.

If you would like to be a member of WAWAMUWOM, just send me a $100 one time only membership fee. You'll receive your membership card and one of those big ass bumper stickers.

In the meantime, just do your best to spread the message.

OK then, now I've bored myself. I'm going to clean my house...I feel like going on one of those all night cleaning binges. I only have one load of laundry to do, the bed is made with fresh linens (I needed to change the bed after my friend "visited" the other night) so all I have left to do is dust and clean out drawers. I'm thinking about getting a roommate again. My son is finally moving most of his stuff out so I can rent out his room. I need to decide whether to rent out a room for a set amount every week or month, or if I should "share" the house and split the bills down the middle.

If I could find the right person, I could rent out the room in exchange for yard work and chauffeur services. That'd be cool, wouldn't it? I could work whatever shift I wanted to work. Yeah, that's starting to sound like a good idea. I think I'll try that.

Meg

People from all walks of life...

...live in nursing homes. I've cared for housewives, businessmen, ex-boxers, countless veterans and even the Grand Dragon (or whatever they call them) of the Ku Klux Klan. Every one of them has things to say and if you're lucky enough to be in the company of any of them, you can hear some amazing stories, first hand from the people who were there.

I've listened to old soldiers tell stories about every war from WWI to Viet Nam. I've cared for old doctors and nurses who told me stories about how they cared for people without penicillin. I've spoken to teachers who taught in one room school houses. I sometimes think that I remember a lot of history...these folks were here well before I was so they remember a heck of a lot more than I do.

Wherever they come from, they are interesting people with lifetimes of experiences and varying personalities. They're someone's mother, father, sister, brother, son or daughter. They were, at one time, busy building the country that we now live in. Some of them are aware of their surroundings, some are not.

The people who have the capacity to remember when they felt useful now feel useless. Even some confused old people remember the need to work and feel valuable. I remember two ladies who shared a room and wanted to be useful so they would spend the entire night taking short naps and then getting up and making each other's bed. I wanted to make them REALLY happy and take them home with me. I'd let them clean house as much as they wanted.

I can't tell you how many times a man or woman has approached me at the nurses station, asking if they could fill out an application for employment. They tell me all of the skills that they have and where they used to work.

Sometimes I can give an old secretary a pen and pad of paper and she'll go sit down and take shorthand. I don't know what she writes about, but it makes her feel as though she's doing something.

The people who are now old enough to be in nursing homes come from a time when pride wouldn't allow them to take charity. They may be confused, but they still remember their pride and the ethic of paying their own way.

At dinnertime, some people need to be reminded to go to the dining room to eat. Or, they might need assistance getting in bed. Many times they tell me that they have no money to pay for their meal or for their room. I have to remind them that their children have already paid for them. They don't like that much better.

An old farmer may be too confused to toilet himself but he can gently hold an infant in his arms, somehow remembering that he is the stronger of the two and must be gentle with the baby.

Confusion can take many things away from a person. But it's amazing what remains. A lady too confused to realize that she's in a nursing home still remembers how to take shorthand. A gentleman who has no idea what town he's in still remembers that he has to pay for his keep. Men too confused to tell you their name still remember that they must behave like gentlemen.

Rare is the person who is too confused to remember the pleasure of being around another person. No matter how totally brain damaged some people may be, they can almost always grasp your hand when you hold it. An old lady who takes her dinner and spreads it all over her face may not remember her manners all the time, but she will always remember that she enjoys visits from her children. An old man who may just sit and stare for most of the day will still smile and welcome his grand-children onto his lap. These people may or may not know who it is that comes to visit them, but it doesn't really matter. They're always happy to have a visit. They may not remember the visit 10 minutes after it's over, but for the time that they were visiting, they were happy.

I find it fascinating that these people keep so much of themselves, even after so much is gone. They hold on to their dignity through so much that you have to be impressed with how much dignity they had in the first place. It would be so easy for our country to make good use of our elderly. It would be smart of us to start now. In the next few years, the numbers of elderly are going to rise dramatically as the Baby Boomers all start to....that's right boys and girls...GET OLD!

Meg

I've been paying attention...

...most men are ticklish in between their butt cheeks. Not really sure why...just something that I have grown aware of.

I made mental notes of some things that happned to me today. I don't usually do such things but so many bad things were happening, I just had to take notes. I couldn't believe the run of luck I've had today. First of all, my telephone doesn't work. The phone company dude came to my door shortly after I noticed that it didn't work and he said that it was a result of the downed tree from Saturday evening. He explained why, but I didn't understand what he was talking about.

Then, I fell asleep in my recliner and awoke with a crick in my neck. Is "crick" even a word?

My kitchen sink has a slow leak, most of the time. This afternoon it developed into a large leak. The good news is, there was a bucket under the sink. The bad news is that, without thinking, I emptied the bucket back into the sink. This time there wasn't a bucket under there.

I forgot it was Monday. I thought all day that it was Sunday which explained why I couldn't find Judge Judy earlier. I sat on my glasses, actually breaking the screw that holds the left lens in the frame. I over boiled a hard-boiled egg that I was making for a Chef's salad. I actually BURNED a hard-boiled egg.

While flipping a potato pancake, I splashed oil all over the stove-top and the one remaining, functioning burner. Doing the dishes, I put a bowl into another bowl when they were both under hot water so it formed a vacuum. I spent at least 10 minutes getting those bowls apart...my son even gave it a try but couldn't do it. I knocked over the sugar bowl, which rolled...getting sugar all over the counter AND the kitchen floor. I had bare feet.

I washed the floor a few times since it rained and the dogs kept making muddy paw prints all over the floor. I noticed a bunch of itchy bug bites on the area in between the top of my socks and the bottom of my capri's...that I was wearing yesterday while I was trimming the hedges.

Then, just a little while ago, I dropped the top of the toothpaste down the bathroom sink hole. But, luckily, the sink is slow to drain so I just had to let it back up until the top of the toothpaste floated up. So, all in all, it was a pretty good day!

Meg

PS The toothpatse thing reminds me of something that happened when I was about 9 or 10. One morning I was watching my father shave and all of that stuff. When he put the lid back on the toothpaste I said, "So YOU'RE the one who keeps putting that thing back on the tube!"

He didn't see the humor in my little joke.

OH!!!! I almost forgot, today is Kathy Hornburg's birthday. I went to second grade with her. I don't know where she is now but I remember her birthday...it's 3 days before mine!

I've been busy...

...starting another blog. This one is about cooking. My friend Anne gave me the idea. She typed all of her recipe cards over again and I thought that she should put them in a book, they were that good. She's already authored a book so it's not as though she doesn't have it in her.

Mine, of course, is brand new so there aren't many recipes just yet. But, if you have any that you'd like to share with everyone else, feel free to do so. Here's the link to What's for Dinner?, my newest blog:

http://megsfavoriterecipes.blogspot.com/

I hope that you enjoy it and that you have some recipes to contribute!

Meg

Good morning!

I've just gotten up and fed my menagerie. The stupid menagerie is still growing. I bought two pretty little fish and one of them didn't last the first 24 hours. I would save it until the next time that I go to PetSmart but the house already has this fishy odor that I've noticed lately. I have to hide the cat's food so the dog doesn't find it and I seemed to have hidden one bowl of tuna cat food just a bit too well.

I guess it'll show up sooner or later. In addition to the new fish, there's a new generation of snails in my fish tank. I've been scooping them up with my little net and dumping them out in the yard. The other day while I was trimming the hedges, I saw a HUGE snail shell. Apparently, outside isn't bothering these snails. I just hope that I don't find their nest. I'd hate to stumble across a hundred huge snails.

I've heard that the snails are asexual and that they only need one to multiply. Who knows, there're so many of them in there and just when I think that I've scooped them all out with the net, sooner or later there's a bunch more babies. I think that I'm going to have to clean the entire thing out even though technically, you aren't supposed to. The bottom sludge (under the gravel) is supposed to be a part of the natural filtering system.

I've been thinking about getting a teaching job. In this state, they had such a teacher shortage that they lowered the standards...just a bit. They just said that you don't need a degree in Education. I think you just need a degree of any sort. I'm not sure. I have a degree...I could teach. I would imagine that with all the education that I've had, I would be able to teach at a few different levels. I could even teach nursing at some level. Like my father said, "Them who can...do. Them who can't...teach."

I'm only kidding. I wouldn't be anywhere without teachers and for most of my childhood, I wanted to be a teacher. So much so, that I used to snag work sheets after school and collect them. I had a very well stocked classroom...in my garage. It was stocked with hot educational materials. I had to be the teacher because I was the bossiest and the oldest of the group. Either one of those titles would have made me teacher. Oldest AND bossiest...well, the kids were at my mercy. Plus, I had the stolen work sheets and a bunch of #2 pencils.

I'm sure that the statute of limitations has run out on these crimes...but for the first time anywhere, I'm going to admit them here. I'm over the shame of it all.

Sometime around the Work Sheet Heist, I also pulled off the Strawberry Caper. We lived in a brand new subdivision, sort of like the Poltergeist neighborhood. It was Elk Grove Village, Illinois back when a farmer named Busse was selling off parcels of his farm to Centex Corporation. They built houses. A lot of houses.

Anyway, the people who lived across the street from me all had corn behind their back yards. We could run in the corn fields all we wanted to. We would even crawl around to see if we could get lost out in the fields.

One time when I did get lost, I finally made my way out into a back yard that had a strawberry patch next to the corn field. I was halfway out of the field, on my belly, waist deep into the strawberry patch. I ate every strawberry that I could find. After I discovered the strawberry patch, I would go back down the street and crawl through the corn field and come out at the strawberries. I never came all the way out, just as far as I had to come out to eat the berries.

The most daring and heart thumping jape that I had ever gone on...it cured me of a life that seemed destined to be headed toward crime. I was 7 years old and if I wasn't checked...and soon...I would be into some seriously criminal behavior before I was 8.

I had a girlfriend who lived very close to me. She and her family were going on a vacation. She had one of those mothers who kept her house full of goodies. They had individual bags of potato chips, graham crackers and Flintstone Vitamins. I planned my first inside job. I was lucky if I could make myself a butterball. I'd take a table spoon of butter, mix it up with a big spoonfull of sugar and mix it up. Then, I'd shape it and freeze it for a while. Those were good. And I would take a piece of bread, flatten it, spread butter and jelly on it and roll it up. Then, I'd cut the roll into tiny jelly rolls with a butter knife. I had fun cooking then and I have fun cooking now. But I digress.

While the family was going through that last mad scramble through the house, I unlocked the sliding glass door that led to the patio in back of the house. I went home and waited what must have been an entire 3 minutes. Then I went back.

Of course, I couldn't just cross the street. I had to use my usual route to houses across the street...the corn field. I came out of the cornfield in my friend's back yard, opened the sliding glass door and I was in. I ran to the kitchen for a few Flintstone's Vitamins and as I was chewing a handful of them and grabbing a bag of Jay's (not Lay's) Potato Chips...I heard the key in the door. They had forgotten something and come back.

Somehow, I ran to the back of the house and hid behind a bathroom door without being noticed.

The bathroom led to a bedroom and whomever came into the house came into the bedroom. I could swear that I remembered hearing my heart in my chest. I waited behind that door for what seemed like 2 days. Then, I left the house, ran home and hid in my room for a very long time. I never committed a crime after that.

Well, not a property crime, anyway.

OK, I'm going to take a shower and check out teaching jobs. See ya!

Meg

OK...

...I'm back! My company has left and right about now, he's somewhere on the top-end perimeter headed to 400. (That's traffic talk here in Atlanta.) I bet he has a smile on his face, wherever he is. Tonight I paid him back for last night.

Earlier, I said that I would tell you about some people whom I've met over the years. Caring for old people is an amazing job. Think about your grandparents and then think about getting paid to hang out with a bunch of grandparents. When most people get to a certain age, they treat younger people like they're children in the way that they love them and find them pleasant to be around. They just love to be around people.

And most of them are very wise and patient. And, even after some of their logic and reasoning skills are gone, their memory is still there. They might be in 1954 while you're in today, but they are just as alive and alert as we are. They're just alive and alert in a different time. You can't ever underestimate them.

The first and last time that I listened to another nurses' opinion regarding the mental capabilities of a person was a learning experience. A nurse told me that a man named Mr. Berman was "not all there". I believed her.

I was in his room feeding John, a man who had been institutionalized for his entire life because of severe "mental retardation", as it was called then. Mr. Berman was on his own side of the room in a geri-chair (They don't allow these anymore. They're considered a "restraint". That's ridiculous, they saved many people from suffering broken hips. That's what lawsuits will get you. All you have to do is take it off if they ask or if it appears uncomfortable.). A geri-chair is a high-backed chair on wheels but it has 4 small wheels instead of two small and two really large wheels. It also had a retractable tray that could be stored on the side of the chair but it could also be "locked in place" in front of the person so that they didn't fall and they had a place to eat and put books or whatever they might have with them.

Anyway, Mr. Berman was sort of babbling on about something and I was absent-mindedly responding to him. I wasn't really hearing what he was saying. The guy I was feeding wasn't capable of carrying on a conversation so I kept "talking" to Mr. Berman.

At some point he said the word "Arkansas". I said to him, "I bet you don't know the capital of Arkansas...do you?"

He banged his fist on his table and said, "Little Rock! Know it well!" My father made me memorize all of the state capitals so Mr. Berman and I quizzed each other on them. He knew them all. Well, he didn't know about Alaska and Hawaii...but he knew the other 48. We actually had a conversation, in the present. He was fine. It was just that at times, he liked to visit the Forty's and Fifty's. The man never forgot my name after that.

Another old lady named Belle, who had 8 long hairs all held back in a pony tail comes to mind when I think of people who always made me laugh. She weighed no more than a pancake and she sat hunched over in a wheelchair. She was a mean and nasty lady (as my son used to call me when I was not making him happy.).

One day, for some reason that I don't remember, she was calling me names. They made no sense but I could certainly make sense out of the way that she said whatever it was that she was saying. She was obviously trying to call me names and I specifically remember being called a "Schlah" to which I said, "Now Belle, that's not nice."

She looked up at me and said, "Shut up or I'll bite your head off." I chuckled and said, "Belle, you don't have a tooth in your head."

She, still looking me straight in the eye, responded...without missing a beat..."Well then, I'll gum you to death!"

It may not be the most glamorous nursing job out there, but it certainly is interesting. You never know when something notable is going to happen.

Oh, when I worked at the Villa, I had an emergency to take care of in a patient's room. As I was going into the room, a man stopped me and tried to ask me something. I didn't know what he was saying. He only spoke Italian (they can forget English after speaking it for 60 years) but I speak some Spanish so we usually could communicate but I didn't know what this guy was asking me. But, I had to get to the emergency so I told him, "Yes, just wait until I'm done in this room." in Spanish. He understood me.

In the course of handing the emergency, I ran in and out of the room a few times and when I did, the old man would catch me and ask me this question again and again, I would assure him that, "Yes, I will...but after I finish with the sick lady." He was fine with that.

After I took care of the woman, I walked back to the nurses station where I saw the old man...standing next to the station. He had one hand on the counter to hold himself up and his pants were down around his ankles. He was whacking off with the other hand and saying, "OK...now? We do it NOW?"

Apparently, I had assured this man, numerous times, that I would be doing him that night. I felt badly, but I just couldn't screw him. I'm no Anna Nicole Smith.

I had a bit of a problem. I had to sit at the nurses station to do my job. I didn't want to run the risk of annoying him further by stopping him.

Actually, I didn't know what to do. So, I took the large coffee pot that sat on the counter and put it between us. We couldn't make eye contact. Then, I called my supervisor who advised me to stay calm and let him finish. She said that I wasn't in any danger because I could "run faster than he could". She was right, of course. So, I let the old man whack off right there at the nurses station. Thank God that all of the other patients were in bed. This was right in the middle of the day room, where almost all of the residents were during the day.

Well, I think that I'm going to go to bed now. I'll see you all later.


Meg

Hi there!

I'm in one of those fine humors today, the sort of humor that I always seem to get into after I have great sex. No bragging this time, at least not about MY proficiency...nope. This time I can swank about HIS performance.

Yes-sir-ree-bob...he seemed to be putting some hellacious effort into his routine. You would think that he was applying for a very high paying job or on some sort of "mission from God", like the Blue’s Brothers or Al Sharpton. I don't know what got into him but I sure was glad that he put it in me. He fell asleep immediately (of course...don't they all?) and I didn't wake him up.

I figure if he needed to be at home, he would wake up and go home, he always seems to do that on work nights. So, I just cuddled up next to him and tried to fall asleep myself.

Now, this is the same guy who beat me up when he was dreaming that he was having a squabble with someone else. Last night he seemed to be having another whacked out dream so I got up and went to sleep on my couch...just in case. I've never seen anybody act out their dreams like this guy. He seems to have some very energetic dreams and he pretty much acts out what he's doing in them. I wish he would dream that he had one of those giant lollipops.

Anyway, I am in a good mood. When I woke up, I liked him more that I did yesterday. If I were him, I would do what he did every single night. Especially if I were going to be around the next day to reap the benefits.

He's still here and I've been waiting on him hand and foot since I woke up. He let me sleep later than I had planned on sleeping so when I woke up and offered to make him breakfast, he was ready for lunch. So, I made him a nice lunch and if he's still here for dinner, I'll certainly make him a nice one of those, too.

Right now he's snoring on my couch. That's not very sexy. I just peeked over at him and he's lying there with his mouth wide open, just snoring away. I think I'll go grab the disposable camera that he brought over and snap a picture or two of him sleeping. I won't tell him that I’ve done it and one day when he's running errands, not thinking about me one little bit, he'll flip through those pictures and see himself...mouth wide open.

Yeah. That's what I'm going to do...be right back.

That was good. He's flat on his back and when he inhales, his mouth opens wider so I waited for an inhale and snapped the picture. I'll be getting a phone call over that thing...I'm quite sure.

I like this one so much today that I don't want to let him leave and if that means letting him sleep for as long as he stays asleep, I'll do it. Isn't that silly? He's just there on my couch, taking up space and snoring. But, I like having him here, even in if he pretty much IS just taking up space and making an annoying sound. But, having him here sleeping on my couch is better than being alone. I know that sounds stupid, but it's the way that I feel. Even though I've finally learned to enjoy living alone, I still like to have a guy's company like this. When we went to the Georgia Coast, I enjoyed spending the weekend with someone.

This is the closest that I've come since. He came over yesterday to take me shopping and he's been here ever since. He'll probably go home tonight since he doesn't have work clothes here but I sure would like to keep him again. On second thought, maybe it would be good if he went home before he fell asleep for the night. I'd hate for him to dream about his divorce with me right there. I'm sure he'd start socking me in the head sooner or later. So, better that he just does me and leaves.

For some reason, I've never been able to ask for exactly what I want in bed. Even with a guy like this one who is perfectly comfortable giving directions.

"Put your left hand here, reach around back with your right hand and tickle me right here...then stick out your tongue and await further instructions."

He can get that fastidious with his desires, but I can't find it in me to say, "Could you do that a bit harder?"

I wonder why that is. I would be perfectly comfortable saying, "Would you mind doing that thing that you did last night again, pretty pleeeeeeeeease???"


Right now I'm going to go into the living room, cut a piece of yarn off of one of the tassels on my afghan and stick it up the man's nostril. That'll wake him up. I just made a pot of coffee so I'll take him a cup of that after I stick a piece of yarn up his nose.

OK then...I'm outta here.

See ya!

Meg

The day before this woman left to join her husband. In the meantime, she had reminders of their love all around her.

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OK...

...I've started this a few times. The first couple of times the PC just booted me and the last time my power went out. It sounded like a bolt of lightning took it out but there wasn't any lightning. The sky was getting darker and the wind was picking up, but it didn't seem bad enough to knock the power out. It turns out that it was bad enough to knock down a rotten pine tree which took out a transformer.

The folks across the street were pointing down the side street that forms the corner that I live on. I didn't know what they were looking at. Within a few moments, fire trucks came down the street and turned the corner.

That's when I finally did look and I saw the downed tree. My power was out for hours so I had nothing to do except watch the pretty young men who had blocked off my street and were doing all that man work. The one in the cherry picker was pretty cute but there was another one that was even cuter down on the street. If I were 20 years younger, I would have had to invite him in for lemonade or some such refreshing drink.

The power came on just before I fell asleep. I was too tired to do anything except go to my room and wonder where the pretty boys were spending their Friday night. Then, I woke up this morning and started watching Band of Brothers, but that was too depressing for me even though I know that they won the war. I didn't want to watch all of the carnage.

So, here I am. The post that I was trying to write last night was about some of the people with whom I have had the privilege of working. I mentioned in one of the comments that I worked with a man who survived the Bataan Death March. His name was Frank Barker and he was a very kind and gentle man. He once told me that the Philippines were nothing compared to living in a nursing home. That's a pretty sad commentary on the way we treat our elderly.

When I first started working as a nurse, I remember reading the history's of my patients and many of them were born in 18-something. I haven't seen any of those in a long time. I've had the wonderful experience of caring for men who have fought in every war since WWI.

I was 17 when I started working in nursing homes. Back then, you didn't have to be certified to be a nurses aide, you just had to apply. So, I was never a CNA, just an NA. My first job in a nursing home changed my goal from that of wanting to be a teacher to one of wanting to be a nurse. I was a straight A student in nursing school. Before we graduated, we were all getting our jobs lined up.

One day we were all talking about where we'd be working once we graduated and I said that I was going to stay at Villa Scalabrini. That was (and probably still is) a nursing home for old Italian people. My fellow students thought I was nuts. "Why would you want to work there when you could work anywhere you wanted to?"

That was the first time that I realized that nursing home nurses are sort of looked down upon. I had never known that before but I certainly know that it's still true. But, the stories that I have and the people who I met are nothing to look down upon.

I adore working with those folks, specifically the Alzheimer's patients. I don't know why, I just love it.

There's enough different places for a nurse to work, you can pretty much pick and choose the place that you enjoy the most. Every few years I would go to a hospital to sharpen my skills, but I always go back to a nursing home sooner or later.

I worked at one place as the supervisor of the Medicare unit and every so often, they would ask me to cover a shift on one of the other units. There was a unit that had a room with a married couple in it. They had been married for 76 years. The wife was alert, the husband, not so much.

When I would go in there to give them their meds, the wife would say, "Daddy, are you cold? Please Nurse, cover him up. He's always so cold." So, I would do it. More for her than for him, he didn't seem to know if it was cold or not. Can you imagine? 76 years. Those two had been married before WWI. They remained married through that war, WWII, Korea, Viet Nam, the moon landing, Water Gate, the entire Cold War, Disco, the Reagan Administration, Michael Jackson's entire career, the Clinton era, the Persian Gulf War and a few space shuttle explosions.

One day I went to work over on their unit and when I went into their room, he was gone. The man had passed away quietly one night and his wife was alone for the first time in decades. There can't be a much lonelier feeling than losing the man with whom you've spent over 76 years of your life. She died shortly after he did, and I was very happy for her. I wouldn't want to face life without him either if I were her.

One place that I worked had 8X10 frames hanging outside the resident's rooms. In them was a picture of them when they were young and a card with a brief history of their lives. I had one patient who asked his girlfriend to marry him before he went to fight in WWII. He didn't want to marry her first in case anything happened to him. The picture in his frame was that of a very young, very handsome soldier. He had suffered a stroke and didn't remember much. He couldn't speak, but when his wife walked into his room every morning, his face lit up as though he was a child who had stolen a peek at Santa Claus. He didn't know much, but he knew when the love of his life entered the room. He was a large man and she, a tiny lady.

He would reach out his hand for her to hold, and she did. She would sit next to him, holding his hand until he would fall back asleep and then she would crochet all day. She made afghans for her husband. She wanted to do something for him, anything. She felt so helpless and she just stood by as we delivered his care. But she didn't realize that she was doing the only thing that he needed and the one thing that we couldn't do for him. She was THERE. What a smart man he was. He invested his life in a woman who paid him back in dividends that he couldn't have ever foreseen the need for. But, he covered all of his bases. His wife gave me a pair of silk pajamas right before I went to have surgery for my first cancer. I think of them everytime I put those jammies on.

There was Mary, a lady who, at one time, was a lovely, gracious woman who wouldn't have ever said a swear word to save her life. She had been a teacher for years. She developed some type of neuropathy that changed her personality. All we saw was a nasty woman who cussed at us every time we walked in her room. She was a major pain in the ass. But her husband, who remembered the lady that he married, came to sit with her every day. He always brought her favorite foods with him and tried to feed her even though she would nag the bejesus out of him the entire time. We wondered why he would subject himself to that treatment. She didn't seem to care if he was there or not. But, the answer is so obvious, he was in love. He loved her so much that when he looked at her, (these are his words) he "saw the same beautiful girl that I met in 1941."

Then there was Clara. Clara was a funny, funny woman. She would get up every morning and put her make up on, get dressed to the nines and then she would walk out the front door of the home to wait for her husband. She would sit on the bench outside the front door, all prettied up, waiting for her date. Every morning, he would show up and they would walk around the facility to the back door (she said that it made her feel like they were going out on a date) where they would enter the dining room as though they were walking into some restaurant. They would sit at a table alone, sharing her breakfast and talking. After more than 50 years of marriage, they still found things to talk about every single day. They were oblivious to the rest of the people in the dining room. After more than half a century, they were still the only people in their own world.

One day she had a stroke and she was unable to move. She developed huge bedsores in both of her hips and we had to be sure to change the dressings before he showed up in the morning. That's because one day he walked in while we were doing it and he broke down into tears. She didn't seem to know anything but when he finally passed away from a heart attack, she seemed to wait for him for about a week and when he didn't come back, she died in her sleep.

I could go on forever telling you about these love stories. The world is full of people who have spent their entire lives together, quietly loving each other. Unfortunately, our society doesn't value such love anymore, so there aren't as many of these couples as there used to be. To hear it on TV or watching any neighborhood, love is some hot and heavy lovemaking session. Not the daily caring that leads to lifelong partnerships. Real love is what I see in the eyes of an 80 year old man who sees the "same beautiful woman that he met in 1941." Although it's a very selfless thing, it pays you back in ways that you never dream of. It's two people who have been together long enough to have children and watch those children have children and then THOSE children have children. Even when one of the lovers dies, they can look around at their great grandchildren and see their love every day that they live. How do we get that back?

63 years and counting...two of the lucky people. No bikinis, no boob jobs, no mansions...just each other. Brad and Angelina will NEVER be this lucky.

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Damn...

...This chick and I could spend hours philosophising over relationships:

"I think when you marry someone you are (whether you admit it or not) marrying who they are at that point in time. Most folks, myself included, don't deal well with change. When someone's nature changes over time, their partner can find that extremely hard to deal with. Perhaps the qualities that attracted them to you or you to them are no longer present? I always used to tell the ex that the first years were going to be rough, but if we stuck to them, things would get better...-Cassie"

You know, things do go bad at times in a mariage. But, like the vow says, "for better and for worse". If you enjoy the good times, you need to suffer the down times and if you do stick it out, there's more than a prize at the bottom of the box.

I've gone through times in my marriage where I would look at Rick and want to hit him in the head with a hammer. I've gone through times when I thought that I didn't love him anymore. But, the more I went through those times and stayed, the more I really did love him. If we had been lucky enough to stay together, we would have found that at the end of our lives we would be happier than we ever could have dreamed.

The problem with most people today is that when they start to feel like they aren't madly in love anymore, they give up on the marriage, cheat or just stop trying. The other day I told my father (who has recently been having some prostate problems) that all men, if they lived long enough, would eventually suffer prostate problems. He said, "Well, that's the bright side, isn't it?"

Yeah, that's the bright side. And, with marriage, if you are married long enough, you WILL go through those rough patches. Prostate problems are a bitch, and bad patches of a marriage are a bitch as well. But the alternative to being old enough to have prostate problems is death and the alternative to having a marital problems is divorce. So, a long life for a man means prostate problems and a long, successful marriage means enduring the rough patches.

Of course it takes work to have a happy marriage. But it's well worth the time and effort. I can't tell you how touching it is to watch a husband sitting next to his sick wife, holding her hand and telling her how much he loves her. I've watched many a man stare at his beloved wife as she slipped into a place that he could no longer reach her. I've seen men (and women) visit their life partner in a nursing home every single day. They sit next to the bed and watch TV or read a book, just to be close to the person with whom they've spent their life.

There used to be a time when my biggest fear was the day that one of us would have to bury the other. I worried what I would do without Rick and even more, what he would do without me. I would think about what the surviving one would do at the end of the other's life. I fully expected us to share the rest of our lives together.

Marriage does take work...we've all heard that a million times. But how many of us are willing to actually DO that work? It's not too tough at times, it's downright miserable at others. But there truly is a wonderful gift for those who do the work. You couldn't possibly know how great that gift is unless you stick around and see it for yourself.

Rick robbed us both of that gift and there's no way that I could ever forgive him for that. I may be able to be his friend but I'll never have that lifelong love that I had planned on and I deserved. We all deserve that. Even Rick deserved it, but he never knew what I meant and now, he never will.

We live in a disposable society and we are trying to recycle many things. But it doesn't work with people. I may marry again and I may even be happily married, but I'll never be able to remember that husband when he was young. I won't be able to say, "We have been together since we were so young that I remember when we stayed up all night talking and dancing". I won't remember the struggles of a young couple. I won't remember our children when they were little ones. All of those things are the result of a life long marriage that began with 2 very young people and ended decades later with 2 very old people.

Anyone who's been married long enough knows what I mean about the rough patches. Those who were wise enough, mature enough and strong enough to stay during those times know that they do end and the happy times come around again. Maybe those particular rough patches weren't too bad and the next one will be worse. But they, too, will end and the happiness will return. Sometimes I wonder if I made a mistake by divorcing Rick but at that point, I had to. He was becoming more and more violent and even though he may not have meant to kill me, that most certainly could have happened. I couldn't take that chance. And, I couldn't set such an example for my daughter...or my sons for that matter. Violence is NOT OK and I didn't want to send the message that it was. But, I would have liked to have set another example...that of how to earn the gift of a lifelong marriage.

Oh well, I pray that they learn that lesson on their own.

Meg

There are some very important lessons...

...that aren't taught in school. No matter how many people are interested in the topic, there isn't always a class available for the people to attend. Well, thank goodness that we have the internet, we can learn whatever we want to learn about whatever we are interested in.

For example...blow jobs. There are few classes out there but many web sites that offer knowledge that isn't available anywhere else. At least nowhere else that you would feel comfortable applying. A little while ago while searching some of the sites that people who come here have visited, I found this:

http://forums.adameve.com/m_265/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm

Many people there have questions and others have answers. It's a veritable treasure chest of blow job infomation! Go there and see if there's any info that you can use or any lessons that you can offer. Men tell what they like and women tell what they have learned through experience. This is one of those sites that most people can benefit from. Enjoy.

Even I...with all of my experience and expertise, have learned a few new things. I tried to register at the site so that I could offer an answer that a woman who asked about gag reflex and how to get past that. But, I couldn't seem to find the page where you register.

I've had an interesting evening, one that I can't discuss just yet because I don't want to annoy the fool who made the night so interesting. I'm not going into details about what happened, but suffice it to say, he won't be getting a blow job tonight. And after the way he acted, I doubt that he will ever enjoy my talents again.

While I was reading the posts at the blow job web site, I actually came away with a few questions that I don't understand. A few of the guys mentioned how much more they enjoy it if the woman "swallows". I don't understand that at all. How do they know if we did and if they can tell, how does that add to their enjoyment of the act? If there are any men out there who do know why it's more enjoyable to be swallowed, please let me know in the comments section.

When I am the meal for the evening, I don't know whether or not the guy is swallowing. Hell, I don't know what there would be TO swallow. (Don't bother, I don't WANT to know.).

Well, that was an interesting hour of my life. It's left me feeling quite sorry to be alone, especially considering it's bedtime and I have to go stare at the ceiling and count sheep. With any luck at all, perhaps I'll be asleep sometime before the birds start singing.

Have a nice morning and I'll be back when I wake up. I may sleep late again, I've been up late cleaning house again.

See ya!

Meg

Hello...

...finally. My PC is acting like a bitch today. "John" called me this morning but I didn't answer the phone because I haven't come up with a plan yet so I didn't want to speak to him. I'll do so when I decide how to handle this.

I've been trying to figure out how he fooled me so well. Usually, I'm a better judge of character than that, at least I like to think that I am. He didn't show the usual signs of being a married man but in hindsight, of course, I see a bunch of signs that I missed. Although I called him a few times in the evening, he never called me at night. He always called me during the day.

Then, there were the infrequent dates that I attributed to his busy job. I didn't mind that anyway because relationships that start out like a ball of fire always seem to burn out quickly so I like to start slowly. I hate those "dates that never end" where you go out once, the phone calls start the next day and then, before you know it, the other person expects to see you every day and when you eventually want to go out with a friend or do something that doesn't include them, they say, "What's wrong? Why don't you want to see ME tonight?" They take your desire to do something without them as a sign that you don't care as much about them when in reality, you just want to go out with your friends.

A lady named Cassie brought up an interesting point earlier. She wondered how she ever got involved with someone so different from her.

Who knows how these things happen? That chemistry that we feel toward another person pretty much blinds us to logic and reason. We don't think about things like compatibility, we just go with our feelings and forget to consider things that make sense. Sometimes that works well, other times it blows up in our face. When Rick and I were dating, I knew that we were different. I knew that he was unfamiliar with the lifestyle that I was accustomed to and I knew that I was giving that lifestyle up when I married him. I actually DID consider things like that, our differences and the things that we were both used to. I knew that I wouldn't be going out to nice restaurants anymore, I knew that I would be giving up life in the social circle that I was used to.

When I did that, I did it on purpose. I actually thought that Rick would be happy to have someone who was different than anyone else he ever knew. He came from a place that I was unaccustomed to and I knew the same about where I had come from. I thought it would work in my favor.

But, I should have considered the fact that he came from a social circle that was not only different in lifestyle, but was different in ethics. The people that he grew up around didn't think twice about having children out of wedlock and didn't think twice about sleeping with anyone with whom they wanted to sleep. They were the type of people who pretty much did what felt good, whether it was the right or wrong thing to do.

They did drugs, serious drugs, not just weed or alcohol. His friends did things like shoot up drugs into their veins. I thought that he was better than that. He wasn't, my vision was just clouded by emotion. I actually felt sorry for him and felt that he was the victim of a family that was unlike mine. He may have been a victim to some extent, but he didn't mind. I thought that he would be happy to live a life of honor. It turned out that he had no honor, he just acted how he thought I expected him to act. Unfortunately, he couldn't live like that for any length of time. There was no way that he could live that lifestyle forever.

Not only did he act like he thought that I wanted him to act, he told me what he thought I wanted to hear. And for some reason, he continues to do just that. He has been involved with quite a few women since our seperation but he has NEVER admitted that he's been with anyone but me. He seems to care what I think of him, but he doesn't care enough to change his lifestyle. That's just fine, I don't care. But, he has some odd need to have me believe certain things about him. I know he's lying and he even knows that I know, but he keeps it up anyway.

So, Cassie will never really understand how she let herself get dragged into a relationship that she wouldn't be in if her emotions didn't cloud her vision. It's simply the old saying, "Love is blind." Love is not only blind, it's a moron. So, there's not much we can do to understand things like that.

The best that we can do is learn from our mistakes and try to avoid making the same mistake again. I did that by developing a list of rules for dating. They may keep me from a lot of mistakes, but they won't guarantee that I won't ever do it again because of people like John. Even though I wouldn't ever date a married man, I can't avoid situations like the one in which I find myself now. I take people at thier word and assume that they're telling me the truth. I do know the signs of a married man, but with a good liar, I can easily find myself involved with one anyway. I'm not going to kick myself over it because I'm not perfect. No matter how much I try to avoid certain things, there's always going to be people who are better at lying than I am at spotting a liar.

OK, my PC is letting me write this, I don't know if it will let me post it. So, I'll do my best and that's about all I can do. I have to go to my drunk class shortly so I'm going to try to post this and then I'll get ready to go.

I'll be back later, if, that is, my PC let's me back.

Meg

I've been dating a married man...

...and of course, I had no clue. It isn't Biff, thank the Lord...it's the "wonderful" guy who took me to that great restaurant. I say, "thank the Lord" because I've slept with Biff, I didn't sleep with the married dude.

He doesn't know that I know yet but he will find out soon. I haven't decided how to let him know, but when I do, it's going to be in a very interesting manner. If anyone has any ideas as to how I can let him know that I know he's married, leave your idea in the comments section or email me at megbkelso@gmail.com.

I found out quite by accident. My friend who I occasionally take care of and I went to the wound care center this afternoon and when we got back to her house, I was chatting with her daughter. The daughter is married to an attorney and the bum is an attorney. I mentioned that one of the guys I was dating was a lawyer and she asked me what his name was. When I told her, she told me that the bum was married. It was quite a coincidence because of all of the law firms in Atlanta, the bum happens to work at the same law firm as her husband.

I would LOVE to tell you all his name, but his wife doesn't deserve that. I would hate to be the cause of the type of pain that Gial Glenn put me through. Let's just call him "John" for now.

John is very good, I never suspected for a moment that he was a married man. None of the regular clues were present. He gave me a phone number and I called him quite a few times. He took me to an apartment once and I assumed that it was his home. It was a studio and quite sparsely decorated but he said that he hadn't lived there for very long. He gave me his work number but I don't call people at work unless it's very important and I never had a good enough reason to call the bum at work.
His car didn't look like there had been a child in it. He drives a BMW and a sporty little one at that. It's a two seater, not something that I would expect a married man to be driving.

Damn...I never saw this coming at all! I told the woman who told me not to say anything but I would bet 4 bucks that she'll tell her husband. That's a lot of money for me because other than the alimony check that I just received, I only have 6 bucks to my name. I just hope that she doesn't tell anyone else that might send the word back to the bum. I want to be the one to let him know. I just have to get creative about this. I'm far too stunned to be very creative right now. But that's OK, I'll figure something out.

I won't tell his wife, but I want him to think that I will. We've made out a few times and therefore, he has made me a woman who made out with a married man. Aren't there enough trashy women out there? Do people have to drag decent human being's into their webs of deceit? Damn, I'm annoyed.

OK then...ideas are running through my head already. I could go to his studio and stick a note on his door saying that "I'm sorry I missed you...I'll be over at your house." Or, I could tell him that I just got a call from his wife and that she's on her way to my house and I need for him to come over and protect me.

That asshole even told me that I could decorate his place if I wanted to! We went shopping one day and I chose a lamp for the table next to his sofa-bed. He was going to take me out for my birthday and I can't think of a better time to spring the news on him. What a wonderful birthday present that would be!

OK, help me out here, how can I let this man know that I know he's married in a way that would totally FREAK him out?!?!?

I'm going to go think on that one for a while...any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated!

Meg

Good morning!

I had a bit of a scare last night when I came to the blog and it was gone. For about a half an hour, I was getting nothing but a blank screen and I had just about resigned myself to the fact that it was gone forever. Luckily, Biff is a computer dude so he helped me get it back up easily. All he had me do was go to the template and hit save edits without editing anything. That worked immediately but it got me thinking, what would I do if it did disappear?

I guess I'd have a lot more free time on my hands. I would start another one but then, how would you find it? For now, the only answer that I have is to tell you to email me at megbkelso@gmail.com but I'm currently talking to the blogger people (don't they sound like a scary group?) and I'm going to find out what happened. This has never happened before, ever. I've had a bug here or there, but nothing close to having the entire thing run off into cyber-land.

I think I have an idea what happened but I'm not going to say anything until I'm sure. When I find out, I'll let you know. I will get to the bottom of it, to be sure.

Today I'm going to take my friend to the wound care center. I was calling her May but she gave me another name to refer to her as only I forgot what it was. I'll ask her again today. Anyway, she has a new wound today, one that occurred when I was taking care of her the other night.

I was wheeling her from her table to the phone (a distance of about 6 feet) so that she could speak on it and somehow, her foot dragged in such a way that her entire toenail came off. She didn't feel it at all, thank God. I didn't even know that it happened until I saw the blood on the floor. I was about to give her a pedicure and as a result of that mishap, I only had to do 9 toenails.

When I saw what had happened, I immediately grabbed some guaze and applied pressure for a while to stop the bleeding. I saw the toenail on the floor before she did and I was so upset that I didn't say a word. She asked if her nail had been damaged and I used my eyes to point out her toenail. Up until then, it just looked like a drop of blood since it had red polish on it already.

She has some serious medical problems and they've caused such severe neuropathy that she didn't feel it at all. As a nurse, if I see people injured, it doesn't usually bother me. I just do what needs to be done. But with people that I care about, like my kids, my reaction is a bit different. Then I react like anyone else would when I see an injury. It's a gut feeling that any parent who has ever had an injured kid would understand.

Well, that's the feeling that I had when I saw her injury. Apparently, I care more deeply for her than even I had realized. She's a lovely woman who has had some of the most awful things happen to her during her life. I feel so badly for her. In one year, she lost her father, learned that she had MS and had her husband walk out on her. She raised her kids alone and has been alone ever since. She comes from an old Southern family. Her father and his entire family were all doctors and they even owned a hospital in Rome, Georgia.

She certainly had a nice life as a young child and a young woman, but once she hit her 30's, her life has gone downhill ever since. Now she is unable to walk and her upper body is losing it's ability to move as well. Her daughter had her basement remodeled into an apartment for my friend to live in but she pretty much just stays down there in her bed all day with no one but paid care-takers who visit occasionally. The daughter will go down there and toss a sandwich at her but she rarely has anyone to talk to.

People ask me how I handle my problems. Well, if I ever start to feel sorry for myself, I just have to think of her. People all feel sorry for themselves now and then, but there is ALWAYS someone else who has it worse than you do. All you have to do is look far enough and you'll see someone else with problems worse than your own. My friend handles her problems with such grace that I would have to be a completely self involved ass not to realize that my problems aren't as bad as they could be.

We certainly all feel that our own problems are worse than anyone else's and that's OK. But we have to acknowledge that other people have their own problems and to them, theirs are always worse. That's just human nature. If you want to insure that you are miserable, just dwell on your own problems long enough and you will be as miserable as you'd like to be. I've certainly had my moments where I felt as though I was the most pitiful person to ever exist, but luckily, those moments don't last too long.

Today I have to wait for her daughter to come and pick me up, then I'll go over and get my friend dressed. Then, we'll wait for Cobb County Transit to send a senior citizen's bus out to pick us up and take us to the wound care center. When I was driving, I took care of her well enough that I kept her sore under control. But since I haven't been able to drive, that sore has gotten much worse and she has even developed a few new ones.

I feel badly enough that I can't drive but I didn't think how that affected anyone else right away. Not only has it affected my friend, but it's also affected my dog. He loves to go for rides in the car with me. He isn't able to now, of course. Occasionally, I'll ask a friend if the dog can come with us if they have a vehicle that would be appropriate for a dog.

I don't understand something. I lost my license for a year, supposedly. They took it last May but it wasn't officially suspended until I went to court in October. So, before it's over, I will have gone without it for well over a year. Of course, it's been suspended twice so I'll have to pay a couple of re-instatement fines before I can get it back.

I guess if your license is suspended twice, you really, REALLY can't drive. A friend of mine told me that I should go to another state and get a license. I don't know how that works. But, for today, I don't have one at all so I won't be driving. But, I will be traveling!

I'm going to get ready for my ride to come and get me, in the meantime, have a good day and I'll see you later!

Meg

Hello there!

I'm very happy now because I've opened enough stupid emails to get a $10 certificate from Starbucks. I haven't gotten it yet because I'm not sure if that's what I want to do with them but I have finally accrued enough points to actually redeem them for something!

It seems as though if you keep the points and keep opening emails, you can get more than you could get if you spend them early. For instance, with 1400 points, I could get a $10 gift certificate to restaurants.com but for 3500 points, I could get a $50 gift certificate for the same thing. So, for the time being, I'm just going to keep on opening emails and see what I decide to do later. Maybe by Christmas I'll have enough points to do all of my shopping that way.

If you want to get points for opening stupid emails, go to MyPoints.com and sign up. Most people open a bunch of stupid emails anyway, this way you can at least get something for doing it. If you do, use an email address specifically for that or your inbox will be full of even stupider emails. You could earn many more points by buying something from any of the merchants there, but I don't have a credit card with any room on it so I don't do that, I just open the emails. I open 3-5 a day to accrue these points. The emails that you need to open all say the same thing so you know which ones not to bother with. I didn't know any better so mine all come to my regular email address. By the way, if you want a G-mail invite, email me at megbkelso@gmail.com and I'll send you one. I make that offer every so often and I usually get a few emails asking me for one. I've been offering to do that ever since I saw that people were selling them on eBay. I've seen them sold for anywhere from 50 cents to 5 bucks. I just give them away since I don't care. A bunch of 50 cents's wouldn't help me much so I don't mind at all.

I went to the store today and got a bunch of fruit so I've been stuffing myself full of strawberries, grapes and peaches all afternoon. I absolutely ADORE fruit. I can't believe that something that tastes so good is so good for you. When I'm lucky enough to actually have an appetite and be able to keep stuff down, I take major advantage of it like I have been today.

The other night when I went to my girlfriend's house, we stopped at the store first and she got me a box of lime Popsicles and I can always eat those. I eat them a box at a time. They only have 6 in the box so I don't think that's too much for one evening although it may look piggish.

I also got a few more plants for my deck. I got another pepper plant, another tomato plant and a basil plant. After I make dinner and clean the kitchen, I'm going to go out back and put them all in planters. Sometime this year, I should be able to have a lot of vegetables out there. I already have spices that I use. I have one chive plant that I've had for three years. I don't know how, but somehow, it seems to last the winter in my kitchen window sill. When it was given to me, it was almost totally dead. It only had one or two living blades on it but it still survived that winter and I've been eating fresh chives ever since.

I got an email from Rick today saying that his grandfather passed away. He's being nicer to me now than he was for the last two years of our marriage. I don't understand him at all. Oh well.

His youngest son has moved from Virginia to Montana to live with Rick. I asked him if his son wouldn't miss his daughter too much and he said that the mother wasn't letting him see her anyway. As bad as that is, the boy's own mother is siding with his ex-wife and I think that's hideous. She has always treated her sons poorly. When we were paying child support for her kids, she had kicked them both out of her house yet she still was able to take the child support. When we first got married, we had both of the boys living with us. She didn't give us a dime the entire time. One day she had a hissy fit and took them back. We never went to court to get the custody changed so when she took them back, she was able to go to court to get Rick to pay the back child support for the entire time that we had them. She is one of the most hideous mothers that I have ever seen in my life. She took the child support and never bought the boys any clothes.

We bought them clothes and sent them home but they would still wear stuff that you couldn't have sold at a flea market when they came to our house on the weekends. One day the youngest was wearing a rope around his pants instead of a belt and we were going to take the kids all out to dinner. I told Rick that we needed to buy them some more clothes because I would be embarrassed to take him out in public the way he was dressed. We didn't realize that he was standing where he could hear us and he walked into the room and said, "I'd be embarrassed to go out in public like this." I felt so bad for those boys. We ended up just buying them clothes to keep at our place so we could dress them properly when we had them. She has a daughter from another man and the daughter always had decent clothes, but for some reason, the woman seemed to really dislike her own sons. She seems to still dislike them and that's such a shame. She never asked the daughter's father for a dime. Her name is Diana Callahan and she lives in Roanoke, Virgina. If you know her or her husband Donny, you should let them know that you think they treat thier boys badly.

Well, that's about all I can think of right now. I have to clean the kitchen now so that I can mess it up again because I'm having some male companionship this evening. I hope he brings me some Popsicles!

See ya!

Meg

Dear Meg,

My wife and Iare going through a nesty divorce. My daughter wants to live with ma and my mtoher. She is mad at her mother and me and my mother are supportive of her. I want her to know I back her in all things. The problem is my father who says that we shoould stay out of it but if we do she might not get to live with us in the end of the divorce. We need to show her that we believe the things she says and we want her to be with us. How should I explain this to my father so that my daughter can live with us?

Your father is right. You and your mother are behaving selfishly and I think that you're kidding yourselves if you think that you're doing your daughter a favor by continuing to "dis" her mother. A loving father wants to see his daughter happy and emotionally healthy. What you and your mother are doing is wrong and will not contribute to your daughter's long term happiness.

My father and I went through a period where we were estranged. Before she died, my mother gave me the greatest, most selfless gift that she could have given me. She gave me back my father. Things between them were very contentious but she knew that my happiness depended upon a healthy relationship with my father, whether or not I had good reason to be angry at him.

How would your daughter feel if her mother died and they never had the opportunity to find each other again? Do you really want to see her live with that guilt? Do you really want to see her live without her mother in her life? If she is young enough to have custody be a concern, she will need her mother sooner or later. I have to wonder if you are really concerned with your daughter's happiness or your own need to fuel the anger that your daughter feels. Are you trying to get out of paying child support? Are you using your daughter as a weapon? When a parent takes a child and fills them with anger toward the other parent, then aims them at that parent hoping to cause pain and derision, they are not thinking in the best interests of the child at all.

Immaturity seems to be the problem with far too many parents who enjoy seeing a child angry at the other parent. There is no other excuse.

Loving parents want to see their children surrounded by as many people who love them as possible. When a person uses children to hurt people with whom they are angry, that is the most hideously selfish thing that they can do. Show your daughter how much you love her, help her mend the fences that keep her away from her mother. Your daughter will love YOU all the more for it and she will learn some valuable life lessons.

The ability to forgive, maturity and decency are only a few of the gifts that you'll give her. Show your daughter that you love her more than you hate her mother.

Thank God my mother was such a selfless human being. If she had fueled the anger between my father and I, I may be without a parent right now. Instead, I have my father back as well as a wonderful friend in my life. I wouldn't have that if it weren't for my mother. Give that gift to your daughter, you won't lose a thing and you will gain her respect and admiration for years to come. She will be a much better person for it and will not have to live with all of the negative emotions that you and your mother are promoting right now. Your father sounds like a decent man, aren't you lucky to have both of your parents in your life? Do your daughter a favor and give her the same thing. Let her live her life free of the pain that is caused by the estrangement between her and her mother.

OK, my friend in England and I are still trying to work out the bugs in the new template. I tried to put the new one up and it didn't have the old posts and comments, oddly though, it had the comments from HIS blog.

In the meantime, if you'd like to see what the new template looks like, here's the link:

http://megkelso.blogspot.com/

Let me know what you think of it if you have the time.

I see that he's sent me another email regarding the new template and when I have the time to play with that, I will. Hopefully, it'll be up and running soon.

Yesterday was Rick's birthday so that means that I am in the ten day period where he is older than I and that makes him an old man. I won't celebrate until 9:36 AM on the morning of the 29th...I like to hold off turning a year older for as long as humanly possible. I haven't decided what I'd like for my birthday yet...well, I have a few things on the list, but nothing reasonable. I did get one early gift, I found out that my brother is out of jail.

A long time ago I mentioned that my baby brother had been in and out of prison for most of his adult life. The last time he went, he had a wonderful woman who stood by his side until he got out. Because of her and her support, he was let out years early. Then, last year, I heard that he had screwed up again and I was sure that he would have to serve the time remaining on the last sentence PLUS the time he would get for the new crimes that he committed. When people tried to tell me what happened the last time, I stopped them. I didn't want to hear it. That was just so painful for me. I had resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn't see him again until he was a very old man.

But somehow, he got out and is back at home with the woman who has stood by his side all of this time. They married a couple of years ago and bought a house. He had more than I ever thought he would have and when I heard that he screwed it all up, I was blown away. I don't know what happened to get him out this time, but he is out and at home, and he still has his wife, home and job. That's all just great.

But, I'm a bit angry at him. It seems that he told his wife that the last time I went to Virginia to visit them, I gave him cocaine. First of all, I don't do that. If he had said marijuana, it would have made more sense. Secondly, I wouldn't have done anything that might get my baby brother thrown back in jail for deacades. Also, I wouldn't have betrayed his wife like that, she's too wonderful of a human being and wouldn't deserve that from me. AND...I wouldn't be traveling with my father holding drugs of any sort.

I don't know which hurt more, the fact that he would make up such a senseless lie or the fact that she said, "I don't know who to believe." I have never lied to her nor have I done anything that would make her think that I would do drugs like that. I believed some things my husband said that only a fool would have believed so maybe she just WANTS to believe hers. Once my brother tells a lie, he stands by it to the end, no matter how many laws of reason and physics the lie would break. So, even though I'm happy for my brother, I'll have to remain happy from a distance. I can't afford to associate with people who would say such things about me with a probation officer in the picture. I discussed it with my father and he's as baffled as I am. Thank God my father knows that I wouldn't have done such a thing. I wish my sister in law knew me as well as my father does. If she did, she would see that I would have never done anything that my brother has accused me of. The cocaine story is only one of a few bullshit stories that he told her. Common sense should tell her that it's all bullshit, she has no reason to believe what her husband said about me but every reason in the world to believe that he would tell a lie.

Oh well, I guess we all believe what we want to believe.

OK, I'm going to suck some more coffee and straighten up the house a bit so that I can go run some errands and come home to a clean house. Then, I'm going to work in the yard again. While I'm trying to get the yard in shape, I'm confining my garden to the deck out back. I have my spices and vegetables out there. Yesterday I saw that I have the cutest little bell pepper that you'd ever see growing on my pepper plant. Now, if my tomatoes would just start bearing fruit, I can go out back and pick one whenever I need one. I love that. Oh, I love having the fresh spices, too. They're so expensive in the store but so easy to grow. They don't come any fresher than picked off the plant and chopped up right away. Anyway, I'll be back after I get a few things done.

See ya!

Meg

A lady wrote to Dear Abby...

...to ask how she should respond to people who ask her why a woman as pretty as she is isn't married yet. Abby gave her an adequate answer. But my father taught me a much better answer to such questions.

When a person asks me a stupid question, I look them straight in the eye and ask, "Why would you ask anyone a question like that?" It's a great way to shut up a jack-ass without going off on them and looking like a jack-ass yourself.

Once when I was at work, a supervisor grabbed my arm as I was passing by her. She was sitting on a chair at the nurses station and I was walking out of it. As I passed her, she literally grabbed my forearm and held onto it as she asked me a question. I resisted the urge to rip my arm out of her hand and smack her. Instead, I just looked at her and asked, "Why would you grab me like that and restrain me from moving?" She dropped my arm and looked rather embarrassed.

There were a bunch of other nurses and a couple of doctors standing in the nurses station at the time. I made my point and made her look foolish without acting like an idiot myself.

My father is such a smart man. I wish that I would have started listening to him a lot sooner in life. Had I done that, I would have spared myself a LOT of pain and bullshit.

Meg

I just got home...

...from my friend's house. I spent the night taking care of her and chatting. We watched a movie and I gave her a pedicure. I'll be going back to help her out again on Wednesday.

I've gotten a lot of emails and a few comments saying to go ahead and take the Marinol. I will eventually take it, especially after the way that I've been feeling lately. For most of the weekend I haven't been able to hold down water or tea so I most certainly need the stuff. They gave it to me to increase my appetite but it also helps nausea so it will help me in a couple of different ways. The only thing that I'm waiting for is to talk to the PO and find out what I should do so that if they do test me next time, I don't end up waiting in jail for some lab to tell them that I did take Marinol and not smoke pot. The regular tests that they give you right there in the office don't tell that, it would just come up positive for THC and that can't be. I am so NOT in the mood to sit in jail. I was freezing the entire time that I was there in February because they didn't have heat and as bad as that was, I don't want to be sitting there in the Georgia heat. I went outside early this morning and it was already hot out there. It would be miserable in jail.

Besides, if nausea and loss of appetite is the problem, jail food is certainly not the solution. That stuff was the nastiest food that I have ever eaten. In the morning they give you a box of cereal and a bag with 4 slices of bread and some low grade bologna and cheese. I don't like Oscar Meyer bologna, I certainly couldn't tolerate that crap that was probably rejected by Alpo. Every night they serve breaded and fried meat by-products. One night they'll call it chicken and the next beef, but I think it's all the same nasty crud covered in some bland, congealed pudding/gravy shit that's a different color according to what they call the meat. If they are calling it chicken, the congealed pudding crap is yellow, if they call it beef, it's brown. Marines in boot camp would go on strike if they were served that slop.

Bartow's food was delicious after eating the Cobb County crap. I honestly believe that they go out of their way to make it nasty, there's no way that anyone would come up with food so bad without putting effort into it.

If I hadn't been to Cobb's lovely resort already, I would feel quite righteous in taking the Marinol, but having been a visitor already, I'm a bit paranoid about that place. I come from Chicago and I doubt that corruption there is as bad as it is here. The only people I saw who seemed to realize that they worked in the justice field were the judges. Everyone else seems to have been chosen for their immense egos. Only a person who has some serious control issues would behave like these people do.
I'm not saying that criminals deserve a lovely stay, but humane treatment is guaranteed in our Constitution and there's no way in hell that these people understand that. I saw sarcasm and cruelty that is usually confined to the eighth grade and would probably be outlawed if anyone listened to some of the complaints of the people who have been guests of that facility. But no one seems to listen and even if they did, they must not believe the people complaining because it seems to be tolerated. Cobb County is the most conservative county in the country and the people who they hire to police the place are about as sadistic as they come. It's a shame what they get away with and when I'm off of probation, I'll do a bit more than just bitch about it here but for the time being, I'm too sick to take a chance of being locked up with Dr. Death again.

I wasn't surprised that they didn't give me all of my medicine, but I was stunned that I couldn't even get my heart meds and my blood pressure meds. Right now I'm taking some medications that I need too badly to risk going back there.

There's no way that I could adequately describe the treatment that people are subjected to here in this blog. People wouldn't understand how bad it was without actually seeing it. I wouldn't have believed it myself if I hadn't seen it. I wouldn't have thought that medical personnel would risk their licenses in such a way. But, they most assuredly do.

I also got some emails from other women who understood what I meant about over-analyzing that email from Rick. I don't know why we do it. Men don't do it. It seems to be a female trait. I don't understand why men don't anymore than I understand why women do.

An email from a guy said that it was probably sarcasm, all of the men that I've heard from have said the same thing. Like I said, if you want to know what a man meant by something, ask another man, so I believe them. I don't understand it, Rick was the one who wanted another woman. He got what he wanted so why in the heck would he begrudge me another man? Damn, you guys are confusing.

OK, I need a shower so I'm gonna go take one so that I can start sweating again. I have to go to the store and then I'm going to trim those stupid hedges some more. I have two years of overgrowth to work on and it's taking me longer than I thought it would. But, it has to be done because I want to start planting some flowers and it would be stupid to plant flowers in the middle of a jungle.


See ya later!

Meg