Hi...

...I'm not feeling at all well today so I turned around when I was halfway to the YWCA. I have a doctor's appointment at 2 so I wanted to pop in and say hello while I had a chance.

I was just watching the news and I saw that a Georgia congresswoman, Cynthia McKinney, has been accused of assaulting a DC police officer because he didn't recognize her when she was going through a side entrance to the congressional office building.

If there's one thing besides money that will keep a person from being prosecuted for a crime like the rest of us, it's power. McKinney will not spend one day in jail, whether she's guilty or not. I doubt that a member of congress would EVER go to jail for anything short of committing murder. I find that despicable. If you or I assaulted a cop, even by simply shoving them in the chest like McKinney is accused of, we'd be sent to jail immediately without bond and without a court date in the foreseeable future.

McKinney has issued an apology and if she had done nothing at all, she wouldn't have done that. So, my guess is that the woman really got the cop good. There's absolutely NO justification for assaulting anyone, ever. Self defense or the defense of your children is a different story, but in general, there is just no good reason to hurt another person.

If the cop had done that to Ms. McKinney, I'm sure that the entire world would be hearing her whine about how the racist cop had abused her. Since McKinney hasn't complained about racism in this case...yet...I imagine that the cop must have been African-American. If he had been white, she would most assuredly accuse him of racism.

I'm so sick of hearing people use the race card whenever it benefits them. It takes a serious issue and belittles it. What truly IS racist behavior now? How do you define it when practically everything that a white person does is considered racist?

I stopped by a Mexican restaurant yesterday that had a Help Wanted sign outside. The man there said that the job was in McDonough, a town 50 miles away from here. I doubt that. Why would someone put a sign up asking for help in Marietta for a crappy job that's 50 miles away?

I'm going to have an Hispanic friend of my son's call and ask about the job. We'll see if the job is any closer then. My guess is that they want Hispanic servers and I'm obviously NOT Hispanic. OK, I just called Jorge...he's going to call them when he isn't busy and then he'll call me back to let me know. Hopefully, I'll have an answer soon.

Anyway, Jorge wouldn't get away with smacking a cop anymore than I would. It amazes me that the people who refuse to prosecute rich people and people in power don't mind if we know that they won't do it. Doesn't it bother them that all Americans know that rich or powerful people can get away with most crimes? You would think that they'd prosecute one of those folks at least a couple of times a year to make it look good. But they don't.

If I were Ms. McKinney, what would stop me from smacking everyone that bothers me? I guess she worries about re-election...she certainly doesn't have to worry about jail. She'll NEVER see the inside of one unless she's there to visit some poor schmuck with a television crew with her.

Doesn't that make you mad? It's not that I want to see the lady in jail, I don't. But I find it extremely offensive that Americans, while created equal, certainly are NOT equal. So much for the blindfold on Lady Justice. Apparently, while she can't SEE, she can smell money and power.

Meg

Dear Abby,

I'm planning to host a dinner party next month and invite a few of my friends...My problem is that most, if not all, of my friends live with their cell phones attached to their ears!...How can I politely let my guests know that I'd prefer they don't answer calls at the dinner table?

What? If this chicks' friends aren't worried about being polite, why should she? I wish we could purchase something that you could hang up like a car air freshener that would disable cell phones in our home. If I had a guest who was on her cell phone, I'd have someone in the back room calling them over and over again, beeping in and making it impossible to stay on the phone.

There are so many things about phone etiquette that are rude nowadays and it's hard for most people to keep up with all of the rules. If I don't have call waiting, people get annoyed at the busy signal, if I do have it, they get annoyed when the other line rings. And, since I don't have an answering machine, people are annoyed that they can't leave a message when I'm not home. I have a question...onec someone has put you on hold to answer the other line, how long do you have to wait before you can just hang up?

Who are all of these people who can't live without a phone on the side of their heads? I don't meet them. At least people that I meet don't admit to being phone-a-holics. I see them at the grocery store and that is so intriguing. They aren't asking anyone if there's any sugar in the cabinets, they're just chatting away. From now on, when I see someone in the store on a cell phone, I'm gonna toss a douche in their cart. That's what they get for not paying attention to what they're doing.

Abby told the woman to write, "No cell phones" on the invitations. First of all, I doubt that she's even sending out invitations. She's probably calling everyone to invite them. Secondly, she would offend them all by doing that and then no one would even come to the party. So, this woman might as well get used to the cell phones, no one is going to do without them.

I got an email from a guy who owns a pest control company. I sure could use one of them. I have carpenter ants in my kitchen. The kitchen is paneled in knotty pine paneling and the carpenter ants seem to love that stuff. It must be the season for them because the other day, I saw one of them walking on my printer. I got a paper towel and grabbed it. Then, I ran, screaming, into the bathroom and tossed it in the toilet.

An hour later, I went back in there and there was that carpenter ant, swimming in the water. I thought I killed it but I didn't squish it hard enough so it lived. Those are some giant ants. They're the type of ants that John Carpenter would write about.

If you've never seen one, they're about an inch long and they're all black. If I wasn't terrified of bugs, I'd get a leash and make one a pet.

OMG! I just had a hideous thought...they're probably living in my walls, thousands of them!

YIKES! I have to leave this place. If a man asked me to move to the North Pole with him to live, I'd go happily. I doubt there are many bugs up there. If I could find a place on this planet without bugs, I would go there in a heartbeat. I was watching Fear Factor the other day and I could not believe the things that those people would do for 50 grand. As broke as I am, I wouldn't eat bugs nor would I coat myself with molasses and let them crawl on me. Who thought that show up? I'm amazed that there's no shortage of people willing to do such creepy things.

OK, right now I find it creepy just to sit in this ant filled place so I have to leave.

I'm going to the Y and I'll be back later.

See ya!

Meg

OK...

...so I didn't go straight to bed. I found an article that I thought was interesting and I wanted to comment on it.

It dealt with unwed father's and their "rights" to the children that they father. Did you know that if a man father's a child, he has 30 days after the birth of the child to make it known that he wants to keep the baby himself if the mother doesn't want it? If he misses his opportunity, he loses his parental rights forever with no way what-so-ever to get his baby back. That rule applies to a man who doesn't even know that he fathered a child! I find that stunning.

Men are screwed every way they turn in this country when it comes to their rights as fathers. We demand that they pay child support and if they don't, we call them "deadbeat dads". We take away whatever licenses they may need to perform their jobs and we send them to jail if they don't pay. If they don't want anything to do with their child, we call them bums and other such nasty words. But when they DO want to be in their kids' lives, we do everything in our power to stop them. It just doesn't make sense and it harms the children EVERY SINGLE TIME!

If they find out, years later, that the child they've been paying for isn't theirs...they have absolutely no redress in court.

Yet, if the man wants to parent the baby and the mother doesn't, they're screwed. Only a total moron could possibly think that the way men are treated in this arena is fair.

The article that I read stated:

"Unwed fathers who contest adoptions are often faulted for not taking affirmative steps to find out about the child's existence, and in some cases are blamed even if they were actively deceived by the mother. Often, they're suspected of being abusers whose real hidden motive is to control the mother."

That's the truth, men are ALWAYS suspect when they do anything that a woman doesn't like. The men who do try to do the decent thing are almost always accused of some hideous offense and when they fight back, they rarely win.

Decent, thoughtful women would agree with me. Only a nutty broad would think that a child would be better off with a strange couple than with a father who loves the child. If a woman doesn't want her baby and chooses to give it away, what possible reason could she have for not letting the father raise the kid? There is NO rational reason to keep a decent man from his child. Only a wench from hell would be selfish enough to use her child as a weapon with which to hurt the father.

I think that men should be able to file a one time petition with the court system that states that they would never, under any circumstances, agree to terminate their parental rights. Then, a deceptive woman couldn't give the child away without his permission.

That way, no adoption agency in the world would even consider finding a home for a kid without the father's permission and you wouldn't have those dreadful cases where the kid ends up in the middle of a tug-of-war between the adoptive parents and the father.

As a child of a decent man myself, I would have preferred that my father himself be in my life over him sending cash. Our priorities in this country are totally ascew.

Read the rest of this enlightening article at:

http://www.fathers-resources.com/Default.aspx?tabid=581&EntryID=2348

OK...NOW I am going to try to go to sleep.

See ya in the morning!

Meg

Well...

...it wasn't my fault this time, the stupid computer shut down all by itself. I think it was the Jeopardy site itself because when I play that game online, I usually do get booted. Oh well. I'll wait for Millionaire to call.I got a sweet email from Rick tonight. That was odd. He said that he would call me this weekend so I'll be sure to sit on the phone waiting.

Ain't it a bitch when the only man that treats you nicely is your ex husband who you divorced for infidelity and domestic violence? Life is so strange.

I had planned on taking that test so I drank a huge pot of coffee and now I'm wired for nothing. Damn it.

It's the end of the month and that means that I have to go to my probation meeting soon. I'd go and get it over with Monday (I can go the first or second Monday or Tuesday of the month) but I don't have any money to give the lady. If I wait until the following week, I might be able to give her something out of my alimony check, but then I wouldn't be able to give Bartow a dime. I have to figure out some way to get those both combined so that I don't have to tell two people that I'm broke every month.

I'm so proud of my clean urine that I want her to test me, I could pass THAT test easily. But, they charge you for it so I can't show off my "abilities" in that arena. Oh well, maybe someday.

At least I'll be able to tell her that I've done SOMETHING. I hope to have the community service done by the next time I see her. With any luck at all, I'll be able to tell her that I have a job as well. I have to do 40 hours of community service and the way that lady spoke, they could use me quite a bit so I'm sure that I could finish it within the next week or so.

Hopefully, they'll have me actually do the receptionist job so that if I get it, I'll be trained for it when I start. Wouldn't that be nice? I think so.

OK...I've spent enough time at this stupid computer for one evening so I'm going to go watch a bit of television. Maybe I'll find something boring enough to lull me into a nice deep sleep. A Kevin Costner movie would be good.

See ya,

Meg

OK...

...I'm NOT as smart as my mother said that I was. I just went online to take the Jeopardy test and saw that it doesn't start until 8 P.M. PACIFIC time! I thought it was EST. Strike one!

I finished my first day of community service at the YWCA today. That was actually kind of pleasant because all the people were so sweet. I think that I would enjoy working with them. They do have a job opening as a customer service person who works at the front desk. The ladies who were there today said that they've been working 12 hours a day because of how short they are. So, as long as they don't mind hiring one of their community service workers, or a person with absolutely no front desk experience whatsoever, I should be fine. I spoke to a couple of the people who work there already. Now, I just have to fill out the application and hope that the person who does the hiring is OK with me working there.

I had to warn them about my ex's nutty wife because I'm quite sure that she would call them and say some BS that would keep me out of work. They laughed at that because they usually get those kinds of calls from men because this place has a shelter for abused women amongst other things. I'm sure that my probation officer would be happy to confirm the nuttiness of the whack job.

She's still obsessing. She comes to this blog 7 or 8 times a day. I guess you could say she's my "number one fan".

Anyway, I spent a lot of time taking orange ribbons and making little loops out of them and then putting the ribbons in between a sticker and the paper the sticker's were on. They were name tags for women who are going to the YWCA's big annual event tonight. The entire time that I spent fighting with those ribbons, I was cursing Tony Orlando under my breathe for singing that song, "Tie a Yellow Ribbon 'Round the Old Oak Tree". If it weren't for that song, the entire planet wouldn't be covered with ribbons of one color or another. To make matters worse, thinking about that got the song stuck in my head.

I didn't get that song out of my head until I replaced it with, "I've Been Working on the Railroad". That was when I was washing windows. I couldn't leave until my son came to get me so after I finished with the windows, I cleaned one of their kitchens.

While I was cleaning the kitchen, a small group of teenagers came in. I asked one of them if she worked there and she said that she didn't. When she realized that I didn't work there either, she asked if there was any food in the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator and was about to steal food out of it. I stopped her and she looked at me like I was nuts. She said, "It's not YOUR food!"

I responded, "Well, it's not your food either." She said that we should take some of it and split it. I guess that was supposed to sweeten the crime a bit. Can you imagine that testimony?

"This woman robbed the place that she was doing her community service at!"

That would be charming. If I'm going to rob a place, I'll rob a jewelry store. I don't want to go down for robbing food from the local YWCA. Hell, they have a food bank, they'd GIVE me the food if I went about it in the right way.

Well, I suppose I should make myself a pot of coffee so that I can stay alert and awake until 8 Pacific time. I think that's 11 here, I'm not sure. I suppose I should PRETEND that I'm smart and check that out.

OK then, I'll be back after the test to let you know how I did...or how I think I did. I doubt that I would win at Jeopardy unless I was playing against celebrities. I could probably do well at Who Wants to be a Millionaire, I do all right in the online version. I haven't gotten to a million yet but I get to $250,000 or $500,000 quite a little bit. I could probably win at least $25,000 in the real game unless they had a Harry Potter question or some Hip Hop stuff. Barring that, I would do OK.

The Jeopardy thing is timed so you can't cheat on it but if you're really, really smart and want to TRY to help me cheat, just call me at 10:45. (That's EASTERN time, by the way.) Tonight is the last of 3 nights that you can take that test online. I registered last week and forgot about it the past two nights. If you read this before it's too late, you could still take the test yourself.

Well, I'm going to make that coffee, I'll be back later.

Meg

Hi!!!

Right now I'm about to take the online Jeopardy test to see if I truly am as smart as my mother said that I was. After I'm done with that, I'll be back to tell you about my first day of community service!

See ya soon!

Meg

The charm my sisters gave me for my birthday.

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I remember the day that my sister was born...

...the one who is younger than I am, not the one who is younger than she is. Lori is the middle sister and the day she was born, my father called the house to say that Mom had delivered a girl. I was somewhat annoyed at that. Up until then, I had been the only girl.

You'd have thought that maybe I would have a little friend, but my mother had another daughter who was closer to Lori's age so THEY were friends. And they wouldn't play with me. Sniff.

They ganged up on me. Sniff again. They even bought me a gold charm that said, "Bitch, Bitch, Bitch."

I've posted that charm before, but I'll post it again so that you guys can see how mean they were to me. Boo hoo hoo.

Once Lori and I ganged up on a couple of little bully girls who were picking on the younger sister, Marie. Marie couldn't walk home from school without these two brats picking on her so one day, Lori and I, who were by this time old enough to have cars, parked in a new subdivision waiting for the bully chicks to come out of the field they cut through after they harassed Marie.

We were right there when they came out of the field and we both confronted them, threatening hideous retribution should they bother Marie again. I don't think they ever did. I wish I had older sisters. Sniff.

One of my brothers is 14 months younger than I and when HE was picked on, by Jimmy Arrigo (I'll never forget that SOB), I walked around school with a fork in my hand. I was waiting for him to pass me in the hall and when I had my chance, I stabbed him in the ass. That was fun.

The rest of the kids pretty much handled their own bullies. It felt good to avenge my younger siblings. I felt all tough...even if the girls that we threatened were 13 and we were 16 and 24. But, 13 year old girls can be pretty damned mean and it takes a couple of older chicks to calm their asses down.

Anyway, Lori and Marie both live in Florida now...see? They still stick together and leave me up here in Gogia all by myself. I don't hear much from Marie unless she's disappearing for a couple of days and I know that Lori reads this thing everyday so I sort of stay in touch with her. Well, I guess that she actually stays in touch with me.

If I didn't know that she would read this, I'd talk all kinds of smack about her but I can't now. Maybe someday if her computer breaks down, I'll tell you what a brat she is, but for now, I have to say, "Hi Lori! How ARE you?"

I just called the YWCA and they said that if I got there before 11, I could start work today. Isn't that cool? I finally have a job and not only doesn't it pay, I have to pay them. I wonder what kind of a job 30 bucks buys you?

I keep thinking that if I can start doing any of the stuff on my list of probation things to do, I might meet other people who could take me to one of the other things that I have to do. If I could get to that first alcohol class, I could probably meet an alcoholic who could drive me to the rest of them.

I know how those classes operate, if you don't stand up and say, "Hi! I'm Meg and I'm an alcoholic!", they say, "Oh, you're in denial!"

But, I am not an alcoholic and I refuse to say that I am. I'll go, but I'll tell them the truth, I may drink twice in a year and that's it. So, maybe I did get stopped one of those times, but it doesn't make me an alcoholic. I think it's pretty lame to be evaluated for alcoholism by the same people who charge you to come to the alcoholic classes. They have no interest in saying, "No, you aren't an alcoholic, you're just an idiot." There are no idiot classes.

My son told me that a friend of his had the same problem so he just went to another place to be assessed and THAT place decided that he didn't have a problem. I'd have to pay another $75 and I don't have that. At least I won't after I pay the YWCA to clean up for them.

OK, I need to suck a bit more coffee and get ready to walk a mile and a half to pay people to let me work for them. Thank God it's a beautiful day.

I'll be back, sooner or later, depending on whether or not they let me start today. Have a good day!

See ya!

Meg

By the way, Lori, I lost your email address as well when Gmail wouldn't let me back into my regular address so could you send me an email at megbkelso@gmail.com? Thanks. I won't ever say anything bad about you....now smile, damn it!

I have no business being up at this hour but I can't sleep. I hate that. I've tried. I even tried listening to the History Channel but that didn't do it. The repeat of Larry King didn't do it. So, here I am.

Worrying.

I was worrying about my daughter. Sometimes I just do that for no particular reason. So, anyway, I couldn't sleep.

I remember worrying about my kids when they learned to drive...I became much, much closer to the Lord. To this day, I pray for my children on a daily basis. It never ends and I know it never ends because at work I met a woman who was, at that time, a million years old and she told me that it never ends.

There was the group of "residents" at work, a group of alert ladies and they all rolled their wheelchairs to the end of this one particular hall. They would chat for hours. I'm sure that it made them feel more "normal" in a situation that is most definitely NOT normal to these women.

I walked past them one day and one of them caught my arm and said, "I'm worried about my daughter, can you help me call her?"

"Of course!", I responded and began to wheel her down the hall, to the phone at the nurses station. As we went down the hall, the million year old lady said, "She left almost an hour ago and she hasn't called me. It's only 30 minutes to her house, she should have called me by now!"

Still somewhat concerned, but nowhere near as alarmed a moment before, I asked, "How old is your daughter?"

She answered, "65."

I couldn't believe it. I said, "You mean it never ends?"

She looked at me knowingly and answered, "No, it never does."

So, that's how I know that it never ends.

Ain't that a bitch?

Well, on that note, I think I can go to sleep now.

Meg

It's been a very long day...

...but a lovely day indeed. It had to be close to 80 degrees out there today, perfect weather for walking. For some reason, I thought it would be cool out there today so I wore my long john's under my clothes. That turned out to be a rather boneheaded move on my part.

If that wasn't stupid enough, right now I'm making myself some hot chocolate. I have a can of the stuff and it has dehydrated marshmallows in it. The chocolate is hot but the marshmallows are still dehydrated. So, I stuck the cup back in the microwave so that I can burn my mouth on it.

Ah, now that's a good cup of hot chocolate.

Oh, I see, the marshmallows aren't dehydrated, they're just really, really tiny. OK.

My wonderful daughter asked me where marshmallows came from and I told her that they grew on a marshmallow tree. She was such a gullible little girl.

To this day, she occasionally realizes that something I said when she was a kid was total mom BS. I seriously didn't know that she believed all the things that I told her. When I would sing along to the radio and mess up the lyrics, I would say, "Oops! They changed the words!"

Who thought she would believe THAT? I think she was in high school before she realized that they never actually changed the words to the songs. She told me that one day...I never, ever thought she believed me.

OH! My dog is outside and barking at someone, I have to go get him, I'll be right back, don't go anywhere!

OK, I'm back. You know, these tiny marshmallows are pretty stupid. They just slurp into your mouth like tiny blobs of something odd rather that tasting like a marshmallow.

Oh, speaking of mouths, I had a molar pulled last December and now there's a part of the tooth trying to come out. That's rather annoying. When they pull a tooth, you would think that they would look at it to make sure that it's all there and that there isn't half a tooth still up there. This happened to me once before and when I finally got the stupid thing out, it bled a LOT. I'll just wait and let this one come on out by itself.

I pulled a tooth out of a man's head once. It was years ago (I must have been about 17 at the time) when I was waiting tables and one of the customers had a toothache. He offered me ten bucks to pull it for him. Back in the 70's, ten bucks was a nice piece of change for a teenager. So, I told him to go get some gauze and a pair of pliers. I used the gauze to grasp the tooth and just pulled. The stupid thing was so rotted that it came out pretty easily. But, I did get in quite a bit of trouble for that little stunt. I actually got written up for it.

After my supervisor wrote me up, she gave me the write up for me to add whatever I had to say. I just wrote, "I won't ever pull a customer's tooth again."8And, I never did. That's not really a situation that comes up very often. Most people don't ask their waitress to do dental work so I was pretty secure that I wouldn't be repeating the behavior.

I've decided that I should just go ahead and pay the 30 bucks to do my community service at the YWCA. It's only a mile and a half away and all of the other places are just too far to walk to and nobody is coming by to offer me rides. I thought that I had someone who would be willing to drive me to do that but that doesn't look like it's going to happen anytime soon so I might as well just bite the bullet and go to the YWCA. I still can't believe that they want me to pay them to volunteer for them. But, I do get use of their indoor swimming pool for a year so what the heck.

I hope they let me do it and fast. I have GOT to find a job. Maybe they'll need someone there. That'd be cool, I wouldn't have to worry about them finding out about my probation, they'd already know about it.

I got an email from a friend today who said that he dated a girl who did that CFNM thing. Apparently SHE liked it. She told him that it gave her a sense of power. I never thought about the woman wanting to do it.

Why is that? Why did I assume that only men were into something like that? When it comes to sex, we always assume that the men are the ones who are always the aggressors and that's not always the case. Right now, I'd be a bit aggressive if I had someone to aggress. But, alas...I do not.

Oh well, maybe someday. My little vacation was a while ago and it's wearing off a bit. I'm getting antsy again. Men don't just show up on my doorstep (at least not men who aren't wearing a badge and carrying a gun) and I've pretty much given up on those dating sites so I guess I'll just have to figure something else out.

Well, my kitchen is a mess so before I invite any men over, I'll have to do the dishes. I'll be back later!

See ya,

Meg

Guess what???

About an hour ago, I laid down on my couch to take a nap when all of a sudden, a huge crashing sound came from the bedroom side of the house. The telephone was on the coffee table so I picked it up and dialed 911 as I was running toward the noise. The 911 lady knew the address so I sort of just threw the phone because I could hear somebody screaming. The sounds were all coming from my son’s room so I ran in and found a fire engine red Mercedes in the bedroom. The ENTIRE car was right there in the bedroom!

The first thing I did was to help the lady out of the car as the passenger door was closest. She was beautiful and dressed to the nines. I’ve never seen so many diamonds on one woman outside of the royal family. She was banged up and bleeding from a gash over her left eye but she seemed to be OK otherwise and was trying, as though she were panicked, to get out.

As I helped her out of the car, she stumbled a few times but then she got her footing and ran out of the room, obviously looking for the nearest exit. She was screaming and I was worried about the driver so I let her go. I wasn’t really in the mood to chase her anyway. The driver was huge, like Arnold what’s-his-face in California. He was dressed like something out of a James Bond movie, he was wearing a CHARTREUSE turtle-neck.

As I tried to help the driver out of the car, I noticed he was looking around for something. I smelled something funny (looking back, it was probably oil or exhaust but I didn’t really have the time to analyze the smell, it all happened so quickly) and I was afraid the car would blow up so I was saying...”Let’s just get out of here!”He said, “Not until I find my gun!!!!”

So, I kinda thought, “Screw him.“ and as I turned to run, I specifically remember hoping that the woman had cleared a path for me when all of a sudden the guy grabbed me from behind and threw me against the wall. He pointed the gun at me and said I was his hostage. I was listening to him and everything got really quiet. Then, at the exact same moment, we both heard the 911 lady. The phone was on the floor in the hallway (and we were both in the hallway at this point, as well) and we could both hear the lady saying that the police were on their way. He looked at me, apparently changed his mind and ran down the hallway and out the door. I heard the police cars screeching to a halt before the guy really had time to get to the end of my property.

I ran to the front door to see if the guy got away when all of a sudden, the phone rang and woke me up. I hate that, don’t you? I can never go back and finish the dream. I always just wonder. Sometimes I make up my own ending, the hell with the dream people.

Meg

I just found that in the February 2005 archives and I thought it would be fun to rerun it. It was fun for me anyway.

See ya.

Good morning!


I have a few things to do today but I wanted to pop in and ask if any of you have ever heard of something called CFNM? If you have, you probably know what it is by the initials. If, like me, you're just a naive little ingénue who hasn't had much experience outside of your basic marital sex, you probably don't know that it stands for Clothed Female Naked Male.

Now, I must say, I am curious about that. Not like a bi-curious chick who wants to try sex with another woman...more in a "what in the heck is that all about?" way. Who is that for? The clothed female, or the naked male? (I think I have it right, I'm pretty sure that the female is clothed. If not, the confusion lessens.)

What's the appeal of that? All sorts of thoughts go through my mind. If a guy likes clothed females, all he has to do is go outside. There are a LOT of women with clothes on out there. I've seen them myself. If he HAS to be naked to enjoy it, is he kind of like a flasher?

Now, if BJ Billy had been into THAT, I think he COULD have used the "but it's NOT sex" line. I think. I'm not sure anymore. They seem to be coming up with new types of sexual behavior and I just can't keep up with it all. You would think that a woman who's been married for as long as I have and had dated as much as I have would be pretty well rounded sexually. But they're making new stuff up and now I feel all innocent again.

What does the woman do...just sit around in her clothes? If so, I think that I'd do that. I've never prostituted myself, but if some guy wanted to pay me to sit around in my clothes while he walked around naked, who am I to complain? I can't even imagine that it would be illegal as long as the guy didn't run outside. If we were raided, the cops would probably just stand around laughing at the naked dude.

You know, now that I think of it, my ex (Mark) used to take his pants off and hang them up on our coat tree when he came home from work. That bugged me because he would walk around the house in his underpants and I thought that probably wasn't a good idea with kids around. I couldn't get that fool to keep his pants on to save my life (when he was at home or out at night). Now I'm wondering if he wasn't having sex without telling me. Damn...that annoys me...even now.

I wouldn't even think that a boyfriend would get angry if I was sitting around in my clothes with a naked guy walking around the house. He might, but it'd be silly considering that I'm a nurse and I've seen more naked men than I ever wanted to. So, maybe I've finally hit on a way to earn some cash...OK naked males?

OK.

Yesterday my son took me on a couple of errands and while we were driving down the main road near my house, two Cobb County Sheriff cruisers came racing from behind us with the sirens blaring. We pulled over to let them pass and once they passed us, they turned off the lights and stopped at a stop light. Almost immediately, three more of them came from behind going just as fast, lights and sirens again. All five of those cars were stopped at the light and then they just made a u-turn and went back the way they came.

My paranoia had me thinking that they realized that they passed me and were coming back to get me but they didn't, they just kept going. I have NO idea what the heck that was about but it was awfully dangerous. I asked my son what he thought they were doing and he said, "It looked like they were racing."

I can't imagine that the cops would do that, but I have to admit, that's what it looked like. I've seen them turn the sirens on to go through a red light. I guess that's just some lower priority call. But I can't imagine what kind of call would have five police cruisers racing to a red light, sirens blaring, only to stop and make a u-turn. Well, they DID pass Dunkin Donuts...

OK...I'm off, in my clothes.

See ya later!

Meg

Mike,

I can't find your email addy because it's at my old addy that I can't access so could you email me at megbkelso@gmail.com? Thanks dude.

Meg

I can tell...

...what people search to find this blog with one of the tools that I've installed. Today, someone found it by searching, "How to cope with a boyfriend going through a nasty divorce." What's wrong with that picture?

Here's a clue, if you have a boyfriend and he's going through a divorce, it will be nasty. Call me kookie, but I've never had a boyfriend who is going through a nasty divorce because I DON'T DATE MARRIED MEN.

It's a handy little hint and it will see you through life pretty well if you stick to it.

So, coping with such a thing hasn't been a problem for me. I was watching one of those judge shows earlier and a guy was suing a broad that he cheated on his wife with. She didn't think that he would sue her because he was married. Apparently, he was married to a woman who would rather see the tramp pay the cash back than just let her keep it.

The nutty woman tried to make herself look good by saying, "He didn't tell me he was married until it was too late." What the heck is too late? It's never too late to send a guy back to his wife although most wives would be better off if you just kept the bum.

A woman doesn't look any better because she found out he was married after the third date or the thirtieth date. If she stayed with the bum for two minutes after she found out, she looks bad...period.

I can't imagine dating another woman's man, that's a given. But what I find intriguing is knowing that somewhere in this country, there's a chick who is searching websites trying to get help "coping" with the guy and his divorce. I hope she finds the help that she needs. I'm sure she'll be back some day...after a search of "How to cope with a cheating husband" brings her here again.

And how do I know that he'll cheat on her? Because I finally figured something out...cheaters CHEAT! That's what they do. I know that there are men who don't cheat and I'll have one of them, please. If I have to sit here alone until all the men my age are crippled and half dead, I'll find one who doesn't cheat. Most of the men out there who are my age are already married and what Rick didn't teach me about cheating men, these guys have. I'm stunned at how blatantly a married man will hit on a woman. With the same ease that they wipe their combover over their bald heads, they hit on me. What bums.

Oh well, I hope that the nasty divorce leaves that guy so poor that the chick who is "coping" with him needs to work an extra job to make ends meet. Unless you're sleeping with Donald Trump, you're gonna need some cash because nasty divorces cost a lot of money. I wonder how much a man would spend on his mistresses if they realized exactly how much they were costing them? Rick dated Gail for about a year and between alimony and insurance, he'll be paying $1,100 a month for five years. If you do the math, that's over $180 a day for the entire year that he was with her.

I hope she was worth it.

Meg

Cheaters wonder how they get busted...

...with little, if any, actual evidence. There are so many ways that a person can tip their own hand that it's pretty tough to fool anyone who knows them at all. One of the many ways that I knew Rick was cheating was the fact that he didn't call me from work as often as he usually did.

When I would ask him why he wasn't calling like he did, he would say something lame like, "How many times a day do you want me to call you? I'm at WORK!!!" I didn't care how many times he called me from work and I wouldn't have minded if he never called from work.

But...when he changed his normal pattern of calling me every two hours, I knew something was up. That's one of the things that cheaters don't consider when they're cheating, the normal pattern of the relationship that they no longer follow. If Rick had never called me from his job in the first place, I wouldn't have minded. I understand that, as a nurse, I can't just sit on the phone when I'm supposed to be working. But when his normal pattern changed, I had to assume that something about our relationship had changed as well.

If it isn't bad enough that I was left to wonder what was going on, I couldn't ask any questions about the subject without being called unreasonable for expecting phone calls from work. When you confront a cheater with a concern like that, they have this annoying habit of turning it all back on you and making you feel like an idiot for even broaching the subject.

Rick would say, "I'm working, I can't just call you whenever I want to. Do you want to talk to my boss? Do you want me to prove that I'm at work? You tell me, I'll sit on the phone with you now until they fire me, then will you be happy?"

He would totally dance around my concern, the fact that his normal pattern had changed abruptly with no reason that I could see. There would be absolutely no way that I could get him to address the real issue because he wanted to turn it all back on me, calling me ridiculous for expecting him to call from work.

Men (I know, women too, but being heterosexual, I bitch about men) have such a predictable pattern when they're cheating that it's amazing that they don't see it and try to hide it before the women notices it. As predictable as it is that a cheating man will change the way he treats his wife, it's just as predictable that he will get angry and defensive when she brings it up. They will find some way to make the woman feel like an idiot for mentioning that she is upset over something. This is an example of such a conversation:

She: "I've noticed that you don't call me as much as you used to."

He: "I'm at work!"

She: "I know you are, but you used to call me a lot more often."

He: "I can prove I'm at work, do you want to talk to my boss? How about the guy next to me, would you like to talk to him?"

She: "No, I know you're at work, I was just wondering why you don't call like you used to call."

He: "I work ten hours a day to pay the bills and all I get is BULLSHIT! This is BULLSHIT! I'm paying the bills and you are harassing me!"

She: "I don't mean to harass you, I just worry when you act differently then you usually do."

He: "OK then, I'll just sit here on the phone with you to make you happy and then we won't have a house and we'll be living on the street. THEN will you be happy?"

She: "Of course not, I just worry, that's all."

He: "Well, you're doing it to yourself, I'm just working my ass off in order to pay the bills and you're telling me that I should call you 50 times a day and chat for hours!"

She: "That's not what I said at all."

He: "Well, that's how it sounded!"

She: "Never mind, I'm sorry."

That's about the way our conversations would go when Rick was doing Gail Glenn. It's the way he spoke whenever he was cheating. When he wasn't cheating on me, he acted like a loving man who cared for me. That was quite a huge jump in behavior but as I said, as predictable as the sun rising in the morning.

I guess that cheaters actually believe that they are being reasonable when they act like this, they have to convince themselves that they're doing nothing wrong and that the cheatee is being totally UN-reasonable. But the fact that they SAY these things doesn't make it true and it doesn't make the cheatee believe them one bit. A cheatee MAY buy this crap a couple of times, but after a while, they get to know the patterns of the relationship and even though they may not know exactly WHAT is wrong, they absolutely know that SOMETHING is wrong when those patterns change.

What to do about this is up to each individual person. No one solution fits all problems so every woman (or man) has to decide for themselves how they need to handle their own relationship problems. Personally, I wish that I had called Cheaters back when I had the chance to do so but I never really KNEW in my head what I knew in my heart, that Rick was cheating on me. It took me months to admit it to myself and a bit more time to actually figure out exactly how blatant the cheating was.

(To this day, I occasionally find more evidence of his affairs. Not only that, but I also find myself having these little epiphany's where I figure out what happened when I was curious about something 3 years ago. Just a couple of weeks ago I found that Rick had been communicating with his bimbo du jour on AIM. I tried to install it to communicate with a friend in Arizona and found that it had already been installed on this computer with the user name KelsoRick in the box. He hated IM'ing and never used the computer for anything other than "paying the bills" when he was here. At least that's what he told me.)

My purpose in writing this isn't really to offer a solution. I write this and things like it in order to help people know that they aren't "crazy" and that they aren't "doing it to them self". They really do have legitimate reasons for the way that they feel. So, no matter how much someone else tries to make them feel like dirt when they mention things that bother them, they really, really aren't nuts.

Now, I have to do a couple of things for the probation officer, I'll be back later.

Meg

email me at megbkelso@gmail.com

Some lady was pulled over the other day...

...(not me this time) because she had a bumper sticker that said something like, "I'm fed up with this BushShit." The officer gave her a ticket for that. He didn't charge her with a crime, he didn't lock her up, he simply ticketed the woman. Naturally, she felt that the ticket was a violation of her free speech:

"This is all about free speech," Grier said in a telephone interview Monday. "The officer pulled me over because he didn't agree with my politics. That's what this is about, not whether I support Bush, not because of the war in Iraq, but about my right to free speech."

I don't think so. I think it's about the right's of other people to drive down the road with their children and not have to hear, "Mommy...what is BushShit?"

What statement is the woman making? That she can't think of any other way to express herself without using vulgarity? That she has no respect for elderly people or children who see that bumper sticker?

I'm confused...exactly what is the message here?

That woman could have chosen any number of political statements to place on her bumper for all to see but she chose one that is offensive to a large number of citizens, whether they support Bush or not. She wouldn't have gotten a ticket if she had chosen a bumper sticker that said something less offensive.

She could have chosen any number of forums from which she could excercise her freedom of speech yet she chose to slap a sticker on her car and lazily drive away. Nobody would have given her a ticket if she had written a letter to the editor.

She could begin a web site that discusses the war in Iraq and other issues that she disagrees with the president about and no one would have given her a ticket.

But, when she put that vulgar bumper sticker on her car and drove around the most populated area of metropolitan Atlanta, she forced her foul speech on a population of Americans who, like it or not, make up a huge sector of the Bible Belt. In this country, we allow community standards to set the norm when we consider what is offensive and in this particular community, we consider it offensive when a person forces their vulgar words upon us as we innocently drive down the road.

In a nation where we're assaulted daily by vulgarity, it's nice to know that somewhere there's a police officer who has the nerve to risk hearing some stupid diatribe on freedom of speech. He had to have known that the woman in the car would do that, what else would she have said to defend herself? Knowing what he was in for, he still had the nerve to pull the woman over in this time of "anything goes". He risked hearing the jokes of his fellow police officers and the wrath of all who dislike Bush.

The woman said that the officer didn't like her politics. I don't know his politics. I don't know the woman's politics either. All I know is that she has no respect for other drivers on the road and the officer does. Those are the only two messages that come through clearly.

Although I felt as though this blog had no place in my trial last month, it was, indeed, admitted. I'm sure that I offended a few of the people involved with what was written in it. But, the judge never said that I couldn't do it, he didn't even say that I COULDN'T use my probation officer's name...he just asked me nicely not to and I politely agreed. I don't see where anyone in these here parts are trying to squelch free speech. Rather, the judge specifically said that this blog and my thoughts were protected. When the woman goes to court, I'm sure that another fair fact finder will decide whether or not that bumper sticker is protected speech.

Let me know what you think about this issue by voting in the poll. It will be the first question asked on the left side of this blog, below the Link List.

Thanks.

Meg

UPDATED OPINION: After drinking a couple of cups of coffee and giving the matter further thought, I do think that, while offensive, the woman had the right to put the stupid bumper sticker on her car. Damn. I hate when I have to admit that I spoke too soon and was wrong. But, I was. I guess.

There seem to be...

...quite a few ramifications from my online survey experience. I should have created a new address for that stuff. Crap. It's nothing major, just annoying. I'm amazed at the audacity of some people. I hate when company's sell my address to other people. I didn't like it when they sent me junk mail but this junk e-mail is really a bitch. It hides the real e-mails and I accidentally delete them. Anyway, that was stupid of me. In the future, I won't use my real addy when I'm playing games.

The people who sent the e-mails say that they've read the blog but if they really, really did....they wouldn't have the nerve to ask me to pay them for ANYTHING. I've said that there's no room left on my credit cards and that I only have $4.22 in my PayPal account. They all want a lot more than 4 bucks so I'm not sure what they're after. They sure the heck aren't about to get my 4 bucks.

Today I saw a commercial that outright flabbergasted me. It actually said, "Oprah is a rerun today so watch us." I swear, that's what it said. They were so completely drained of positive things that they could say about themselves that they had to sort of attack Oprah.

Now, I'm not part of the Oprah Revolution but I do recognize deflection when I see it and that station deflected attention away from their own deficits. And, in some way that I can't quite put my finger on, it took a bit of a jab at Oprah. That wasn't nice. How would they like it if she came back with, "Their anchorman stutters so watch ME."?

I like to see that most of the poll answers regarding television agreed with me...the best that they said was that TV was mindless drivel and the rest thought, as I do, that it is "meant to bring society down". It's tough to think otherwise, isn't it? I'm glad to see that so many people see TV for what it is. If I had a tool with which I could make people agree with me, I probably would use it to do so. It's tough to think that the people who DO have that tool wouldn't do what most people would do under the same circumstances. That's what makes it especially dispiriting when the journalists can't seem to remain objective. We don't have much in the way of non-partisan reporting of the current events in this country at all anymore.

When a television station can't do any better than this particular station did, it pretty much supports the other opinion, that TV is mindless, harmless drivel. It doesn't seem explicitly calculating so you can't really toss responsibility or careful deliberation on them. They obviously know not what they do.

When he was still in high school, my son had to read, and write a report on, the book Fahrenheit 451. I read the book as well so that I could help him study for the test related to it. In that book, firemen don't put out fires...they start them. They burn books because they're illegal to possess. They're illegal because something in each and every one of them contains SOMETHING that offends SOMEONE. For some sort of "mental stimulation", the equivalent of television in the book is little more than pretty images and mindless conversations.

We don't have many out and out laws against our freedom to speak, but there certainly are other very effective ways that we can shut each other up. Declaring a person's words politically incorrect is one great way to shut them up. The fear of being labeled politically incorrect keeps many a thoughtful mouth shut. Being politically incorrect is just a hop, skip and a jump away from being a racist and that's about the worst thing that you can be. What's really unnerving is the fact that you can be racist, or at least politically incorrect without even trying. (I did it myself by referring to a person as "Oriental". A very nice lady e-mailed me and told me, in a very nice way, that "Oriental" is now considered offensive. I didn't know that.) A person can't so much as REFER to color without being branded a xenophobe of some sort. That's a shame.

Couples can shut each other up easily as well. I think it's a male-trait but I'm sure that women can be good at shutting a man up. Generally, all a woman has to do is talk. Most men can't get a word in. But, if that woman so much as MENTIONS emotions, feelings or the current state of the relationship...she will be shut up...most of the time.

Rick was good at shutting me up when I would bring up any of those things, just by acting all angry. That would scare me a bit so I did just shut up. That's not a good thing because it makes you try to keep things inside and that never works. All of that crap has to come out in one way or another.

The same reasoning that you use when you're speaking of one specific person applies to society in general as well. Groups of people can be shut up in basically the same manner. You make them fear the wrath of some other group and then sit just back and wait. Sooner or later the group, like the person, will explode. You would have thought that we'd have learned that lesson by now.

By the way, here's one of the e-mails that I received in response to my post on the online surveys:

...Perhaps, you are looking for some security, a way to generate some extra money each month for you and your family or maybe you are looking to make a lot of money, retire early and truly have the time freedom you've always wanted. In any case Meg, our Home Business may be exactly what you have been searching for. Let's go to the following website and find out together...

I must admit that this lady is pretty good at what she does and, she's quite persistent. But, I'm not sure what part of DIRT POOR and BROKE she isn't getting. She wants me to send money to someone who won't be giving me so much as a gallon a milk for that money.

There's one e-mail that sounded quite concerned for me and my plight and empathized sweetly up to this point:


Meg,
I know how it is; I used to stay up all night searching for ways tomake money on the Internet, reading one website after another...For many months, this continued. I almost gave up...Until I discovered this website...

I should always check the bottom of e-mails for the following sentence that I found on the bottom of the above e-mail:

This message is a solicitation.

Like the chicks in jail that seemed so bright and resourceful, I have to wonder what these folks could accomplish if they spent their time more productively.

Oh well, I suppose I could get a bit productive myself. I'll be back later.

Meg

Some people can be so stupid...

...and if you have to have a person obsessed with you, it's best that they be a stupid person. My personal online obssessor isn't too bright. She has friends who, while not much brighter, are smart enough to take their time in an attempt to stalk/harass me. One nut who has been slowly taking their time it befriend me made me an offer after I posted that I couldn't retrieve the comment tool for this blog. She made me a "friendly" offer:

" Also I'm off work this weekend & if you want I can fix your blog to where you have the comments back. You'd have to put me on as a team member of your site & give me rights to change your template & then you can take me back off."

I don't know why she thought that I would be stupid enough to give her access to the working section of this blog, but she was. There are 3 people that I've trusted with that information, my daughter, my friend Anne, and a guy who I was dating. Not one of them messed anything up and I would still trust them with the information. There are a few others who, if I thought that they could fix the comments, I would trust. Other than that, I wouldn't give anyone else that info anymore than I would give them my jewelry.

I hope there isn't anyone reading this who would waste their own time and energy hating people. It's just so negative and it saps you of your time and energy, not to mention the fact that you could be doing something positive with that time.

There's a saying that goes something like this, "The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference." I'm very indifferent to my ex and I usually don't think much about him at all. I know that I don't love him. I DO, on the other hand, love my children and on their father's birthday, Father's Day and other appropriate holidays, I remind them to call him or send a card. When they arrive at my home after a long trip, I tell them to call their father so that he doesn't worry.

I don't do any of that because I care about him one way or another, I do it because I want to raise decent children. My concern for them far outweighs any negative feelings that I have for their father.

There was a time when I would say nasty things about my ex in front of the kids and that was a very, very long time ago. But the last time I did something like that, my son was crying and I did that to him. I couldn't believe what I was doing and, after I did it, I swore that I'd never do it again. I haven't. And, I wouldn't.

The kids tell me some of the things that are said about me in that household and while it doesn't bother me anymore than a cup of spilled milk on another continent, it does bother me that the kids have to put up with that bullshit.

The obssessor will only treat my children decently if the kids participate in the "mom bashing". If they refuse, they are belittled and hollered at until they break down in tears. Sooner or later, children do grow up and they see the situation and the nuts for what they are.

There's no reason to speak ill of an ex in front of the kids, ever. And, that behavior is usually banned in divorce decrees. I met a woman in jail who was in some sort of battle with her ex and she was telling us what she was going to tell her kids (bad stuff about the father) when she got out of jail. My friend Melissa and I tried to talk her out of it but we could tell that the lady wasn't listening to us at all.

There are parents all over the world who, as we speak, are trying to convince their kids that the other parent is an ass and that disgusts me. Parents who would never beat their kids would hurt them with words against the other parent in such a way that causes pain worse than a smack. I don't know what goes through their minds, but they seem to think that doing such a hideous thing will somehow earn them points. It won't. It will just hurt the kids intensely. When the kids grow up, they'll remember what was said and even if the parent has learned their lesson, the memory is still there and the damage will most certainly leave emotional scars.

I don't even open the constant e-mails that the nut lady sends and when I receive one from any of her henchmen, I ignore them too. I haven't seen the nut since my daughters high school graduation ( and she's 16 years old now!) and I probably won't see her until one of the kids weddings.

She doesn't pop up in my mind at all during the course of a day, I am quite indifferent to her and her husband. But, when she hurts my kids, I know (and I tell them) that the kids haven't done anything wrong and that she's only doing it because she knows that there's nothing that she can do to annoy me. She just takes it out on the kids instead.

Karma comes around sooner or later, and usually in the same way that you put it out. I have wonderful kids and I know that. Unfortunately, when karma comes around to the nut, it will attack her child in some way. What a shame.

OK, now I'm going to write something completely different for you guys, see ya soon!

Meg

Get paid to take online surveys...

...or, sign up to be a sucker and waste an inordinate amount of time. Considering my current status as a dirt poor chick, I've been wondering about those "get paid to take an online survey" things. I searched the subject and found that you had to pay to gain access to the web sites with the information. Of course, I wouldn't do that so yesterday, when I saw a link to one that didn't require payment up front, I clicked on it.

I immediately figured out that the entire concept was scam. But I spent a bit of time doing it so that I could sort of "investigate" what is was all about, for the purpose of writing this post to inform anyone out there who might be curious as to what these things are all about.

In case any of you have been considering doing it, or if you were simply curious, here's the deal. Basically, the "surveys" were web sites where you give all of your personal information and your credit card information. The sites themselves were selling you their own products.

Even the few that didn't require a purchase at that point did require that you give them a credit card number. At Stamps.com, I tried to sign up, using a maxed out credit card that is currently in collections and they didn't take it. So, even though they say you needn't purchase a thing, they do access your credit card company in some way. If you don't have a valid card with room on it for further purchases, you can't complete the survey.

The surveys that didn't want you to buy something consisted of a lot of links to other sites that DID want you to buy something, or at the very least accept a free offer for which you had to pay shipping and handling. If you did find one that actually LOOKED like a survey, each question that you answered took you to a link where they asked for money in some way. For example, if the question was, "Do you plan on purchasing a new television in the next year?" and then answered "Yes", a pop-up ad for Circuit City popped up.

There wasn't one of the links that didn't want your personal info and as I said, most of them want your credit info. The only actual survey that I did take was one that I took using the user ID and password that I found on my receipt from my trip to Home Depot, where I purchased my new trash can. They asked about my experience at Home Depot and my shopping habits. So, I DO know what a real survey looks like, but not from anything that I saw online.

There were a few sites that did seem to really offer you something for completing a survey, but after 45 minutes of answering the questions, all of the sites suddenly disappeared after I finished. 38 pages worked perfectly, but the LAST page didn't. Hitting the back button did no good because the "time had expired". That happened far too often to be a coincidence.

You might think that I had such an experience because I accessed a free online survey. If so, read on. When using G-mail, G-mail has the ability to recognize certain keywords in your e-mails. So, when you open one, you see small links to related web sites. Since I had a bunch of online survey e-mails, there was a link to a site that said something to the effect of, "Online Surveys are a Scam" so I clicked on that link in the hopes of learning more about the subject. Clicking on THAT link actually evoked a pop-up ad for an online survey. I read the site itself and saw that it, in itself, was an advertisement for another online survey site. Of course, this one discussed the racket and said that most of the paid sites offered you links to sites that no longer existed. They said that most of them are fly-by-night operations that take your money and shut down before you can get your money back, that is if they've even offered a refund as an option and most of them don't. Of course, sooner rather than later, they simply revamp and start again under a new URL.

All of my work wasn't for naught, I did earn "points". Those points were redeemable for merchandise or cash but I couldn't redeem my 110 points for so much as a Burger King coupon. The site said that you had to accrue 1000 points in order to convert the points to cash, but it didn't say how much cash my 1000 points would be worth.

I've seen many sites that offered you a gift or prize if you completed their survey but after a half an hour of answering questions, it said, "Now, sign up for your CHANCE at a plasma TV!" There was another site that offered me $50 immediately for taking their survey. It said that it would put the $50 in my PayPal account. But, after answering all the questions, I checked my PayPal account and there's nothing in it but the 4 bucks that's been there for over a week. If I thought it would work, I'd go back and complain, but I don't have the slightest bit of confidence that it WOULD work or that it would even be there today.

If there is ANYONE out there who has had a positive experience with these surveys, I would LOVE to hear from you at megbkelso@gmail.com but I don't expect to receive any e-mails telling me anything like the things that they post on their ads...

...Jeff G. from Walnut Grove Minnesota-
"I was wondering how I would feed my 12 children and down to my last $4 when I found your web site. Since joining, I've purchased a new home, three cars, traveled the world and I have more money than I can spend!"

So caveat emptor and if it looks too good to be true it probably is. I'm sure that most people are too smart to try these things but if there's anyone out there who is desperate enough to try anything to earn money, just keep up with the job search. Taking online surveys is, in reality, an very stupid and tedious way to shop.

Meg

What does it take...

...for a person to trust again after being cheated upon over and over again? How does a woman (or a man for that matter), recognize an honorable human being when she has never seen one before? How do you learn to trust after decades of dishonesty?

There's a man who has been trying to tell me that he cares for me and I have been looking for signs that he was lieing about that. There's nothing more than I would rather believe than the man is telling me the truth, but how can I when I've never had a man do that in the past? How do I keep him from paying the price for what other's have done?

In the poll question where I asked if a person would ever cheat on their spouse, the overwhelming majority answered, "Never." They are answering anonymously so I have no reason to believe that they would lie. So, why is it that I can't believe that such a man exists for me? I'm a nice lady, I'm a faithful woman, I'm educated, friendly, somewhat attractive and I have a heart full of love to give. So, what's the problem?

The problem is that I wouldn't recognize honor if it slapped me in the face with a wet washcloth. How could I? I've never seen it before. I don't know what it looks like. I'm not going to beat myself up over it, that would serve no purpose. But I've got to get it through my thick skull that a man could, absolutely, mean it when he says that he cares.

I've justified my mistrust by looking for lies like a physicist looks for sub atomic particles. Every imperfection, every semi-questionable situation, every mispoken word has been scrutinized with the tenacity of a wolverine. Why?

I understand it, I just don't know how to fix it. My mother said that I "look for reasons to end a relationship before the man has a chance to hurt me" and she must have been right. I push them away, subconsciously, yet effectively.

It was pointed out to me that I was doing it again...and this time to a man who has given me no reason to doubt him. Rather, he has done everything in his power to prove himself to me. So, rather than trust him until he gave me a reason not to, I distrusted him until he accomplished the impossible task of earning the trust of a woman who has been disappointed at every turn.

Tonight, I did it again. I didn't plan to do it. I didn't even know that I was doing it. But, do it, I did. Damn.

I haven't totally blown it, I think...and I hope that I don't. The best that I can do at this point is make an effort to put away my fears and my past and, as he said, "Just don't push me away." He followed it with the following request, "I'm not asking you to DO anything, I'm just asking you NOT to do something, just don't push me away." That should be simple enough, shouldn't it?

Alrighty then.

Meg

Isn't this sweet? It was sent to me by a very good blog pal of mine:

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.

Dear Meg,

"...so I was wondering what you think about interracial dating? My mother has a big problem with the man I am seeing now..."

Well, I have this philosophy that is pretty much based on the idea that if it doesn't affect me, I don't really care. I also have another philosophy that is based on the principle that parents are USUALLY right. I don't know your mother but I would be curious whether or not she has any other problems with the man. If a man made my daughter happy, I would be just fine with it. Does she come right out and say, "I don't like him because of his ethnicity?" Or, does she mention anything else when she "bitches" about the man?

You say that you live away at school so I'm assuming that you are old enough and responsible enough to make certain decisions on your own. If you were my daughter, unless I thought that you were in danger, I'd probably keep my mouth shut. If you were a good enough student to be accepted into a major university, I would be proud enough of you and let you learn certain lessons on your own.

Acceptance of inter-racial dating is a relatively new phenomenon, "relatively new" meaning something that I remember. When I was a little girl, an inter-racial couple would evoke stares from everyone around. There were basically two types of people, those who were offended by it and those who didn't mind but worried "about the children". People who "accepted" the concept always qualified their acceptance by saying, "I just think that the children might have problems being accepted by society". I don't think that's a huge problem anymore.

You have to remember that your mother probably remembers the same things that I do and that she is coming from a totally different time. My grandparents were not prejudiced the way that we define it nowadays, but my grandfather used the "N" word quite a bit. He did it in a way that, while it offended ME, it wasn't meant to be offensive. (It was simply the way he referred to black people.) People of my age know what I mean when I say that.

About twenty years ago, I had a very good friend who was black (a word that replaced the "N" word proudly back in the 60's, before black was replaced by African-American) and her name was Patricia. I also had a great aunt named Mamie, who has since passed away.

I spent a lot of time with both of them and they both heard me speak often of the other one. I never told Aunt Mamie that Patricia was black, it just never came up. One day I took Aunt Mamie fishing and on the way, we stopped to put gas in my car. When we did, Patricia pulled up at the very same gas pump only on the opposite side. I introduced them to each other, pleased that they finally met.

As I pulled away, Aunt Mamie made a comment that blew me away. She said, "I never had a black friend." She MEANT that to be offensive and it shocked me because her sister, my grandmother, was not in the least bit bigoted. Eventually, I told Patricia about that and she responded, "Well, she comes from a time when people thought like that." She was quite understanding about it and I think that you should be understanding of your mother as well.

If I were you, or your boyfriend for that matter, I'd go out of my way to show your mom how mature the two of you are.

While I'm talking about prejudice, I'd like to mention something that came up when my friend, Anne, and I were speaking the other day. We were talking about men and I asked her why she didn't have a boyfriend. She came right out and said that it was because of her weight. She's a big girl and hasn't mentioned many men in the entire time we've known each other. I think that's a shame because she's one of the sweetest, most giving people that I know. Any man would be lucky to have such a woman as his own. Weight seems to be one of the last "acceptable" prejudices nowadays. Personally, I prefer a bigger guy but I wouldn't turn down a tiny man simply because of his size.

Anne works two jobs and owns her own home, she is as decent as they come and she would treat a man like a king. But, because of her size, she is alone and that's just awful. Perfectly good people go to waste because of things that wouldn't matter if we were all blind.

Looks matter as far as immediate attraction is concerned, but it doesn't have a thing to do with long term happiness. I've discussed the fact that I've been both heavy and tiny. The difference in the way that I'm treated based on weight is stunning. I'm the same person at 110 pounds as I was when I weighed 160 pounds. The day that I dressed up as the Pillsbury Doughboy, I was treated in such an amazingly odd way that I couldn't WAIT to get home and take that stuffing out of my clothes. Men literally looked right past me. They weren't as pleasant as they usually are and they didn't make eye contact with me...it was awful. Not one man started a conversation with me and it made me think about how heavy women must live every day of their lives.

If your boyfriend treats you well, God bless you both. If your mother has some legitimate points, other than the mans' color, maybe you should listen to her. One way or another, she has your best interests at heart so don't be too hard on her. If you guys stay together and end up happy, she'll eventually come around.

As parents, we all do the best we have with the tools that we have on any given day of our lives. Some days, that's not too good. It may even suck, but it doesn't change the fact that we love you. Your mom is human and that means that she's fallible, just as you are. I'm sure that she loves you and I'm sure that you love her so just do your best to let her know that and to be more understanding than she is...it'll make you a better person in the long run and it might even teach her a thing or two.

Every chance you're given, take the high road...if you do, people will always look up to you. If not, they'll have to look down on you and that's no good for anyone. Someday, you'll have kids of your own and karma is a bitch and a half, at the very least.

My son just walked in the door dressed like Michael from Halloween and he scared me half to death. I think I'm going to go smack him around a bit so I'll see you guys later!

Meg

You know...

...the inside of a Hot Pocket can be pretty damned hot. Actually, I think that they can be MacDonald's coffee hot. I just burned my finger on one and I think I have a lawsuit. If I didn't mind being on the news as the idiot who burned her finger on the hot stuff in a Hot Pocket, I'd do it.

I couldn't get past the phone call to the attorney without feeling pretty stupid. I could hear that one now:

"Law office, may I help you?"

"Yes, I burned my finger on the guts of a Hot Pocket and I want to sue the bastards."

"How did the Hot Pocket get so hot?"

"I put it in the microwave oven."

"Why?"

"I wanted to heat it up."

"Well...did it work?"

"Hell yeah it worked, I burned the hell out of my finger!"

"Did it have a warning on the box?"

"I don't know, let me look....NO! NO! There's no warning on the box!"

"Well, it IS called a HOT Pocket."

"Yeah, and coffee is supposed to be hot too but that MacDonald's chick got millions."

"Good point, I'll get the attorney."

Alrighty then. Oh, I just found the warning, "Product will be hot." I don't know how I missed that. Well, it doesn't have any special instructions like, "Handle with asbestos quality gloves" so I'm pretty sure that I do have a lawsuit.

It's tough to type with a third degree burn on a finger. That sucker is blistering already. I think I should hold my iced tea with that hand and type with the other. Great. This will be a really, really slow post, sorry about that.

I hate a burn. I'd rather break my leg than burn myself. I don't know why...I've broken my leg and that hurt pretty bad...but a burn just sucks. That and pain above the neck. Earaches, toothaches, sore throats and scratched corneas...all hurt more than a broken leg. Oh yeah...and brain surgery...that hurts too. But a burn hurts more than all of those things.

Actually, I'd rather have ALL of those things at the same time than a burn. I just noticed that my finger doesn't hurt anymore. That's cool. Now I'm afraid that I just cursed myself and will have all of the things that I just mentioned.

Crap.

I better go lie down before lightning strikes me. Lightning is hot and with my luck, it'll hit me on the top of my head and come out of all the orifices in it, giving me a toothache, earache, sore throat, blown up eye balls and then they'd have to operate to fix them all.

OK, see ya,

Meg

Who says I don't have any supernatural powers?

I have many. Over the years I've become aware of many of the amazing powers that I possess. Unfortunately, I'm not quite Samantha Stevens, but I can:

Make it rain simply by washing my kitchen floor!

Make 5 minutes of commercials begin by fixing a cup of coffee and sitting in my recliner!

Spark my bladder to need to empty by getting under the covers of my bed!

Will a server to bring food to my table by walking to my car!

Summon a police officer out of thin air by driving 2 miles over the speed limit!

Bring the coldest weekend in Florida's history by driving to Tampa!

Make the Cubs blow an 8 run lead by watching the game!

Make my phone ring by sitting on the toilet!

Will my son to spill Kool-Aid in my fridge just by cleaning it out!

Find any object that I've lost by merely accusing another person of stealing it!

Eradicate the ability of a cashier to think simply by entering his or her line!

Make the stylish nature of a pair of shoes go away by just buying a pair of them!

Ensure that I will spill at least one tablespoon of coffee within 5 minutes by putting on a white uniform!

Make my doorbell ring by taking off my clothes and stepping under the shower!

Sink a cue ball with the same stroke of a stick that I've used to sink the eight ball!

Ensure that a horse will lose a race by just putting a measly 2 dollar bet on it!

Make a man sleep with ANOTHER woman simply by dating him 5 times!

These are extremely consistent powers of mine and you can wager any amount of money on my ability's. If you doubt this, knock on my door and see if I don't come to it soaking wet with a towel wrapped around me or just call my phone number and listen closely. The next time it rains, come over to my house and look at the kitchen floor. It will be spic and span clean except for the muddy dog prints all over it. It's incredible! I imagine that some of you have a few powers of your own. If you'd like, you could e-mail them to me at megbkelso@gmail.com and share them with the rest of us.

Right now, I'm going to freshen my coffee and take it into the living room so that I can watch some commercials.

See ya!

Meg

I can be far too friendly...

...and I've got to learn to stop doing that. There are two people who are still calling me from jail and I haven't accepted any of those calls. I don't know how much longer either one will be calling me, but if they don't stop soon, I'm going to have to get my number changed.

One of them is in jail for some crime related to being a con-artist. She's the woman who wanted me to get her out of jail in exchange for cash. She just needs someone stable enough to sign the bond and although I may be just that, I'm not stupid enough to sign to get a con-artist out of jail.

The one really decent person that I met while I was there, Melissa, told me that this woman, let's call her Fiona, owed money to everyone that Melissa referred her to. She owed money to the bail-bondsman and the attorney. Yet, she still calls the attorney's office at least six times a day. The attorney's office isn't dumb enough to accept her calls and...this one time...neither am I.

Fiona said that if I signed to get her out of jail, she would give me two grand...within seven days. I'm actually insulted that she thinks I'm that stupid. I'm absolutely convinced that if I did sign for her to get out, she would bolt at her earliest opportunity. That chick has no intention of showing up at her next probation meeting, much less her court date.

I don't know what happens to people who sign for a crook that takes off, but it can't be good. Fiona actually tried to let me in on some of her scams and after she did, basically admitting to me that she was a con-artist, she thought that I would fall for one of her scams. As I said, that's downright insulting.

The other person calling me said that he would pay my phone bill if I accepted his calls. Apparently he is about to inherit a bunch of cash.

That's actually true. I spoke to his sister and she verified it. Even if I would accept a bunch of cash from the guy, my phone would be turned off before he got his inheritance.Somebody told me not to speak to a SOUL while I was locked up and I should have listened. But, being the outgoing, friendly person that I am, I just couldn't help myself. I spoke to anyone and everyone. One day when I actually felt pretty good, I walked around chatting with people and asking them what they were in for. One chick didn't want to answer me and the way she looked at me, I thought that she might just twist my head off of my shoulders. I just sort of changed the subject and kept on speaking to her and eventually, I won her over. She did tell me what she was there for, she even described her crime to me. I already knew what she was there for, my "bunkmate" had already told me. At some point in our conversation, I let on that I already knew why she was there. She wanted to know who told me and I responded, "I don't remember who it was and if I did, I wouldn't tell you anyway." At that point, I really didn't remember who told me. We were near my bunk and my bunkmate said, "I told her."

I don't know why she blew her own cover, I wouldn't have if I had remembered. I guess she wasn't intimidated by the broad...I sure was. I didn't let on, like Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder in Stir Crazy, I sort of acted all cool. I don't know that I pulled it off any better than those two did, but I tried my best. I didn't get the broom treatment in the shower so I guess I did alright.

As large as that pod was, a person could get murdered before the guards even noticed that there was a problem. They don't have any weapons in there, but some of those women looked like they didn't need one.Well, my phone just rang and it isn't a collect call so I think I'll answer it.See you later!

Meg

My old place. I was in one of the circles.

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I didn’t even know...

...that there was a foot care aisle but, according to the commercial, that’s where you find Lamisil and the entire line of Lamisilk Foot Care products. Special creams for feet, that’s nice, isn’t it? A couple of years ago an Avon lady gave me a box of stuff that she had accumulated over the years and in it, I found a tube of Butt Cream. I’ve never had much of a butt at all and now I know why...I didn’t apply any Butt Cream. It’s supposed to make your butt "baby soft and firm"...both at the same time.

Who knows how my life would have turned out had I discovered Butt Cream years ago? Rick’s always been a butt man, maybe my marriage could have been saved had I known about such a product. Oh well, que sera, sera.

There’s a lotion for every area of the body because just plain old moisturizing lotion wouldn’t do. Nope, we need to have a special lotion for the face, the hands, the feet...and now the butt. Once I caught myself just before I rubbed the Butt Cream on my hands. Lord knows what would have happened if I hadn’t stopped when I did, perhaps my palms would have plumped up and then what would I do? Those stupid hand cuffs wouldn’t slip off so easily and then I’d never be able to escape should I go back to jail. I don’t even want to know what would happen if I put the stuff on my face.

When they came out with feminine hygiene deodorant, I felt so stupid. I had just been washing myself with soap and water. I didn’t even realize that I could have just sprayed the odor away. My mother never told me about such things...I feel so neglected.

I’m a bit better now that I know about the foot care aisle. I’m just wondering what I should do with my knuckles. I don’t have a thing to rub on them. Sure, I can pumice the rough spots away, but then what? Am I just supposed to put regular hand lotion on the knuckles? How stupid would that be?

And those areas behind my knees...what do I put there? FOOT CREAM???

I'm pretty broke now but when I have some cash, I like to shampoo, condition, mousse and spray my hair. Then, I wash, condition, moisturize, de-zit, de-wrinkle and sun block my face. I have to use soap, feminine wash, deodorant, feminine deodorant, lotion, powder, cologne and perfume on my body. I have to apply hand lotion, foot lotion, butt cream and cuticle ointment. Then, and only then, can I start with the eye liner, eye shadow, mascara, lip liner, lipstick, foundation, blush and then a fine mist of make-up stay put spray. I haven't even STARTED with my nails yet and I still have to get dressed. When I get home, I need to use eye make-up remover, make-up remover, astringent and Pond's on my face, but only after I've washed it with Noxema. I need Q-tips, make up remover pads, cotton balls and special brushes.

Now that I'm poor, I have to confine myself to soap, shampoo, deodorant and the natural look.

It could be worse...my poor grandmother didn't even HAVE these things in her time!

Meg

Everytime I start to whine about men...

...a woman pops up to remind me, once again, that men don't have the market cornered on asshole-dom. There's a woman who has written to Dear Abby who is trying to come up with reasons why she and her hubby should NOT have their son tested for genetic predispositions to illnesses. The woman is worried for a very good reason:

The horror I really have is that, 18 years ago, I made an awful mistake. I don't know if my husband is the father of our son. I'm having panic attacks about his finding out how awful I was 18 years ago.

So, this lying sack-O-shit betrayed to her husband a couple of decades ago and continues to do so to this day. We all make mistakes and can learn from them, but DAMN!!! How can this chick NOT have learned by now that lying is NOT the way to "win friends and influence people"?

On top of that, she is less concerned with the health of her son and his future family than she is with being found out by her husband. What trash.

Now, the entire family is about to explode because this selfish brat has everyone believing that the young man is the natural son of her husband.

If Abby really wanted to help this nut, she would have told her to get the husband into a counselor's office, maybe even their pastor's office or the home of a trusted family member and just come clean once and for all.

Living with a lie is so hard to do. I would think that for selfish reasons alone the woman would try to do the right thing and just get it over with. Her life would be a bit of a mess for a short time, but in the long run, she would be much happier and she might even learn the value of honesty.

A guy wrote to me yesterday asking me how to break up with his girlfriend. He didn't want me to use any of his e-mail on the blog because he was afraid that she might recognize his writing style. Apparently, he HAS tried to break up with her but it always ends up being a huge disaster with her crying and him caving. They haven't been together for a very long time and she's sort of acting all psycho on him.

The only advice that I can offer is this...meet her at Denny's and do the dumping there. I know that sounds sort of cruel, but if you've already made the decision to leave, all that's left is to find a way to pull that bandaid off.

When I had a guy who was tough to lose or that I thought might make a scene, I would have him meet me at Denny's, or some other 24 hour place that I knew would be open for as long as it took to get up the nerve to have the chat and then to actually have the chat itself. I suppose that any restaurant would work, as long as there are a bunch of people around. We would have to "meet" there, in separate cars so that I could leave alone and not leave the dude stranded.

Most people won't throw a fit in a restaurant. Of course, some will, but that just gives you a perfect reason to walk out, get in your car and drive away. Nobody would blame you for that. Anyway, after you've made your little speech, which you should have planned out in advance, you pay the bill and leave. The speech should be short and sweet and given after the meal. Let the person have their dinner first. It's not only nice, it cuts down on the things that they can throw at you. Actually, it's a good idea to wait until your table has been bussed to begin your discussion.

One VERY important thing to remember when you're dumping someone...don't get yourself into a position where hearing the question, "Why?" is an option. In your speech, you should have explained why you're doing this. Then, if they do start with the "why's", you can say, "I've explained it already, I'm not going over it again." Offer to send an e-mail if you have to, just don't get yourself caught up in a battle of why.

I hate the "why" BS. You can't win that one. For every answer that you give, you'll get 5 arguments in return. So, don't set up a "why" skirmish. As a matter of fact, don't answer anymore questions than you have to. Most of them are just set ups for another bicker battle. Even simple yes or no questions have the potential to be further problems. Once you answer a question yes or no, if you get sick of answering anymore questions and decide to refuse any further questioning, you could hear, "So, I've hit a nerve right? Why won't you answer THIS question?" The non-answer can be misinterpreted as an answer in itself and you can find yourself in a nasty predicament right there. Questions CAN be a bad thing...if asked during a break up. So, whatever you do...try to avoid answering anymore of them than you absolutely have to.

By the way, you should tip the waitress well and be very nice to her so that she doesn't think that you're a total jack ass. Besides, if she's cute, you may want to return alone. Now she knows that you're available. In general, this entire endeavor should be approached in a very kind manner for a lot of reasons. I know that a lot of men, Rick included, seem to think that you have to turn into a beast from hell when you are ending a relationship, but that is NOT mandatory. Nor is it mandatory that you blame it all on the other person. That might make you feel better about things temporarily, but in the long run...it's not even a good thing for YOU to do and it sure as hell doesn't make things any easier for the dumpee. That entire concept is, in itself, material for another post and sooner or later I'll probably address it.

But for now, just consider what I've just said. I'm sure that this is not the perfect solution and that people could come up with better ways to go about dumping a person. But, it's the best way that I've come up with so far and it's served me in good stead (whatever the heck that means).

OK...I have a job interview soon so I'm going to get ready to go get that out of the way. So, have a good afternoon and I'll be back later!

Meg

Yes!!!!

It's NOT "all in my head"!!!!! Whilst reading blogs, I came upon one that I've visited before: http://findingmyway1.blogspot.com/ and I found this sentence:

"When you are married to a liar, your antenna is always up. You are always suspicious and distrustful."

I was soooo happy to see that. For a while now I've been pretty hard on myself over the divorce. I wondered if my "suspicious and distrustful" self pushed Rick away.

You see, after a while, people tend to forget the bad things that have been done to them. Rick treated me CRAPPILY and I was actually blaming myself lately...especially considering how sweet he's been since my trip to the slammer. I don't intend to be nasty to him now...it's been too long. BUT...it does make me feel good to hear another person say what I've felt for years.

A very long time ago, I found a phone number that Rick had hidden. I questioned him about it and naturally, he had some lame story about who's number it was. I eventually called it and a man answered. I was baffled. I knew he was lying, but I couldn't figure out exactly what he was lying about or what that phone number was.

He was also treating me pretty badly then (as he usually did when he was cheating) and at some point I said to him, "You're driving me crazy with these lies!" He responded, "You're doing it to yourself." I believed him and I allowed my self-esteem to suffer as a result.

Then, one day he was sitting on the couch chatting away on the telephone and all of a sudden it hit me...I had the wrong area code. We were living in Roanoke, Virginia then and our area code was 540. He worked for Montgomery Wards and sometimes he worked in Lynchburg, a town about 45 miles away. The area code there was different. And, as you know if you've been reading this for any length of time, Rick likes to screw women that he works with.

Anyway, I said, "Oh! I get it now...I had the wrong area code!"

He knew exactly what I meant. His chest rose up as he was speaking to his boss (at least I think it was his boss, who the heck knows?) and I could tell that he KNEW he was busted right then. Later, I called that number and I was right, he was screwing some NASTY bimbo named Noreen. OMG, she was hideous. I saw her one day...she had long stringy, greasy hair and she was wearing a Heidi-like black dress with a bib thing and a dirty white shirt under it. On her feet were gold lame shoes which I'm sure she thought were simply the cat's meow. Well, all that glitters ain't necessarily stylish and this wench was pure white trash.

I pointed that all out to Rick and he said, "You know, now that you mention it, you're right...she is pretty nasty." Perhaps one should actually LOOK at what they're screwing. It just may be that with any degree of scrutiny, you might find that the wench who behaves like trash...is trash.

The last I heard she was pregnant and living in upstate New York with some other poor schmuck named Pat who worked at Wards. If Rick had kept bopping that bimbo, he could have been the daddy of one butt ugly kid. She was pregnant so quickly after they broke up that it was pretty obvious she was trying to find a "baby's daddy". It was also obvious that she wasn't any more concerned by whom she became pregnant than my husband was with where he parked his rod.

When he was nailing Gail Glenn, he fed me that same line of BS...I'm doing it to myself and I need psychiatric help with my "trust issues". I actually DID try to get help with my "issues" but they never found anything wrong with me. Rather, they said that we needed marital counseling. Rick went once with me and once by himself. It was all a joke by that point, he was on his way to that trailer park in Kennesaw and there wasn't a damn thing that I could do to stop him.

Anyway, my point is that the line that I read in the other blog just re-enforced what I already knew in my heart...liars will take a sane person and make them do insane things. It wasn't "me doing it to myself"...it was a natural reaction to being lied to for years.

I've been with a few other men since Rick and I divorced (not in the biblical sense) and I haven't behaved at all jealously nor have I been distrustful. I've actually been acting like I did before Rick turned me into a pathetic, mistrustful wife. It was NEVER me in the first place.

OK...I feel better.

Cool.

I can go to bed now.

Meg