When you want to be in a bad mood...

...what do you do? Personally, I just remember how much I hate people. Don’t they just suck? And...generally, aren’t they assholes? Well, yeah...they are. I’m mad at one particular person and that person is making me think that all of the other Earth people suck as well. Isn’t that odd how that works?Damn...I hate people. Oh well. I suppose I’ll just sit here alone by myself for a while. That should be good. I would drive somewhere and have some fun but I’m fiscally fucked at the moment and I can’t spend a dime on anything that isn’t specifically useful.

Driving out and having fun would be nice for the night...but it won’t help me in the long run so I won’t do it...but doesn’t that just blow? Don’t you just hate being responsible? I know I do.

I’m sure that this is somehow Rick related but I’m not going to worry about that part of it when I can be as exquisitely angry as I am right now. I’m perfectly justified, of that you can be assured. But I’m still in a disagreement...and long distance at that...and I am not enjoying this one bit.

One thing that I can say is that arguing by email is much nicer than arguing by mouth. You should try it. When you are separated from your significant other for one reason or another...you just email each other the argument du jour and get on with your lives. After a while, it doesn’t even matter much if the emails are separated by hours...you eventually get them.

After a moment's thought, I have decided that it’s probably too tough to bitch my email once you’ve bitched in person...so you might just want to confine this to relationships that you’ve recently begun. If you have, or if you do so soon, just begin that particular relationship by arguing by email. I promise...it’s much nicer. People have to actually perform duties and carry out jobs in between emails/bitches so they can have time to think a bit before they respond in some asinine fashion. So, while I personally prefer the bitch by email method, I do understand those who have already developed a method of bitching that does not involve a computer.

This is what I like about being single. You can always retreat to your lovely little home and fall asleep...never to be heard from again if you don’t mind that...and I don’t. I will speak to my pal again...but not tonight and that’s a good thing. So, instead, I’m going to watch some movies and veg out, once again. I find that to be a soothing manner in which to relax myself...I can just lie back and close my eyes...something that you can’t really do when you’re married. Married people keep coming back to your face and making you go nuts. So, I prefer to remain single for the time being. If I ever feel the need to get remarried, I can just watch Divorce Court or Judge Judy.

Then I can remind myself that I should never commit to anyone that I haven’t known for less than a year. I can do it, I just prefer to do it on a level that remains a tad below painful. That’s tough to do if you’re twenty seven, but not if you’re forty seven. So, I’m gonna remain reticent...and therefore, semi-bitchy...because that’s what I think is required at this point. I’m sure I’ll change my mind soon, but for now....that’s the feeling that I’m going with. So there. I’ve written it down and therefore committed myself to this particular path. I’ll let you know how it goes later.

See ya,

Meg

I hate grocery shopping...

...and I hate spending money on things like food and garbage bags. But it must be done. I remember shopping with my grandmother and buying cans of soup for ten cents. That means that in her entire life, soup couldn’t have gone up more than 10 cents a can . The price of soup today makes it useless as a cheap lunch idea. I suppose some of us are cheaper than others, but I find it offensive to spend an entire dollar on a can of tomato soup. I’d rather buy three candy bars for that dollar at the check out aisle.

Lettuce isn’t cheap anymore either. It’s two bucks a head now. The first time I ever bought lettuce, I paid a dollar for four heads (that I ended up throwing away because it takes far too long to eat four heads of lettuce) and I think about that every time I see the lettuce at 2 bucks a head. I pass all of these things waiting to come along something reasonable and I then can’t find anything reasonable. Once in a while, they have ten things for ten bucks and that’s always pretty cool. But I can only eat so many Pringles, loaves of bread and home-style macaroni salad.

I remember cash registers that had little metal tabs that popped up with the numbers painted on them so it’s tough for me to pay more than a buck fifty a pound for any meat. Especially considering that if you watch Andy Griffith, you’ll see those very cash registers and scenes with chicken advertised at 19 cents a pound ...the signs I could have painted myself. I was certainly old enough to draw numbers in the early 60’s.

That was so long ago that I actually remember it all in black and white. When life was all in black and white, no one had to check their own groceries out. No one had to pump their own gas. You had to go into McDonald’s to get your Big Mac and a bottle of Pepsi was only a dime. Nowadays, I’m happy to get a dime off of my next purchase inside the cap of my Pepsi.

I still remember when it all went downhill. I was about 10 and I had a nickel. My family was driving from Virginia to Chicago and I had been carrying that nickel from Virginia, all the way to Indiana. I was going to use that stupid nickel to buy myself some Juicy Fruit gum. I planned on buying a 5 piece pack of gum...that’s what you got for a nickel back then. When my parents finally stopped at some gas station in bum-fuck Indiana, I got out of the car to buy my gum. I walked up to the counter and asked for my Juicy Fruit, holding my nickel up for all the world to see.

“That’ll be 7 cents.” said some redneck bitch with white lipstick and shiny, sky blue eye-liner.

I was taken aback. I didn’t have 7 cents. Where was I going to get two pennies? They didn’t just leave those things lying around back then. Not with 5 younger brothers and sisters...someone had picked up every spare penny. I didn’t know how to get two pennies and I didn’t have the time to get them. So, I just walked back to my parents Ford Country Squire and sat in my seat, without a seat belt...breathing my mother’s second hand smoke the entire way home...and now I had no gum and no hopes of buying any gum in the foreseeable future.

Now...I’m not sure what ever happened to that nickel, but one thing's for sure...after that day, all hell broke loose. Prices have gone nuts and I can’t handle it. The damned dog food is crazy expensive. How can the animal crap be anywhere near as expensive as the people food? That’s just insanity at an upper level.

Jeez...the animal food should never be within 50% of the people food and it’s damn near the same thing if you look around. You can easily spend more on a can of beefaroni than you will on a can of dog food. That shouldn’t ever be an option. People food should always be cheaper than dog food. If this keeps up, I’m going to start feeding the dog Chef Boyardee instead of Alpo.

Well, now I have to find something better to do with myself...see ya later.

Meg

In the great state of Ohio, a county sheriff has taken to billing the federal government for the illegal aliens that he busts and therefore must prosecute and detain. On one hand, that makes sense; the government fails to do it’s job of defending the borders and as a result, Barney Fife has to lock up every illegal alien in the county. He thinks the feds should foot the bill and who am I to disagree? My usual reaction to such a problem would be...whatever.

But, it occurred to me that these illegal aliens are being busted, prosecuted and detained for the same reason FAR too many people are being busted, prosecuted and detained...the vile, malevolent and wicked weed...marijuana. African Americans, European Americans, Asian Americans and the entire politically correct assemblage of min/maj-orties (My own little word that politically correctly refers to ALL peoples in their proper min/maj-ority status, whatever that may be at any one given time. It implies neither positive nor negative connotations and it should offend no one. As everyone is either a minority or majority of any given group, you could technically swing back and forth between minority status and majority status. So, you see, this term is non-restrictive and therefore, very DE-scriptive.) The one thing, and the ONLY thing that these people have in common other than their crimes, it is that they are all relatively poor. Rich people don’t go to prison for possession. But some would rather see us bicker among racial lines because it’s just easier and it takes the heat off of the real problem...that of holding down...not the black man...not the Hispanic man...not even the white man...nowadays the offensive group is people of limited means. Also the group of limited education as well, these people are easily manipulated into a frame of thinking that revolves around blaming another group for it’s own problems. As long as they continue to bicker amongst themselves, whatever the ethnicity...they will continue to be “put down” because there is no one to organize them and organization is the only way to wield power in this society...just ask the women.

Anyway, far too many people are locked up for smoking a bit of the wacky tobacky while countless others imbibe on the equally wicked, yet legal to purchase, consume and abuse...alcohol. On my planet, this makes no sense. In this, the most enlightened society ever to walk upon YOUR planet...it is a crime to roll up even a medicinal doobie and this...I find dreadfully offensive.

In the 1980’s I worked on a cancer unit and we were participating in pharmaceutical trials involving Marinol, a pill form of some of the ingredients required to stimulate our endocannabinoids and therefore increase our appetite and curb nausea and other unpleasant symptoms. It worked to some extent, but nowhere near as well as plain, old fashioned marijuana worked for the people that I visited when I did hospice care. Those folk were dying and they didn't mind telling you that they feel as well as they did because of their marijuana. Even if they COULD find a doctor to prescribe Marinol, there’s absolutely no guarantee that it will work for them and actually, chances are, it won’t.

I didn’t keep numbers, that wasn’t my job...but in my experience, nothing worked as well as marijuana for a majority of those patients. Then...along came Nancy and her ever so Marie Antoinette...“Just say no.” After a few generations of teenagers dabbling in drug use and dangerous drugs at an all time high...the best we can tell them is to “Just say no.” Damn...why didn’t my parents think of that?

Anyway, the pharmaceutical testing stopped toot sweet and has never come back. The political atmosphere is the only thing that’s changed in the years between now and the day that marijuana was first restricted in the west to keep the Mormon’s out of states. And today, marijuana is placed on the dreadful Schedule I narcotics listing. That means that it is “of no medicinal value.“ That’s crap and there are too many people who know that it’s crap for the crap to continue.

Certainly in California, there are many doctors who understand the benefits but apparently, some are abusing the privilege which is a shame but it’s also possible that the people really benefit from it and the government sets too high a standard for use, pardon the pun. Of course, I haven’t investigated the claims so I don’t know how true the assertions of abuse are. But I sure don't see street crime on the rise over this. Every joint that someone gets from the pharmacy is one less joint that a drug dealer sells.

I had a pretty serious illness a couple of years ago and I totally lost my appetite. My husband left in the middle of it all and that certainly didn’t help my appetite. I was losing so much weight that I was frightened. I didn’t WANT to lose weight...I just couldn’t eat. I came across a friend who had “connections” and went right home and watched a little Gilligan’s Island until I felt like going to get a McDonald’s milk shake. After that...I went from about 90 pounds to over 110 and then I was able to eat on my own again. If I hadn’t run into that guy, I can honestly say that I might not be here. Who knows where that would have ended? So, as far as I’m concerned, the crap saved my life when nothing that the doctors were doing was helping.

But, if things had gone a tad awry...it’s possible that I could have gone to jail over that. Me, a middle aged grandmother who rarely leaves her home except to buy green peppers and moth balls. I spend my time tending to my spice garden and my fish...not wilding or engaging in rumbles. I harm no one that I should happen upon and the most pressure I place upon society is an occasional letter to the editor and yet I...this woman who has raised 3 decent children and is enjoying her grandchildren, could have ended up in jail by self medicating like I did.

According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics (a part of the Justice Department) over four fifths of all drug crime is for possession alone. When addressing marijuana, arrests for sale or manufacture of marijuana total a whopping 5% of all drug arrests for sale or manufacturing of illegal substances. Yet marijuana represents a whopping 39.2% of all possession arrests, with heroin AND cocaine combining for a total of 22% coming in a distant second. These numbers are all from the Justice Department’s own web site. Who are we arresting and what is the problem with marijuana?

I’ll scream if I hear one more nimrod exclaim, “Marijuana leads to harder drugs.” DUH. If you ask a bunch of drug addicts if they ever smoked weed, they’re gonna say yes. THEY'RE FREAKING DRUG ADDICTS! But if you ask a bunch of college students, that number will be high as well. Once again, pardon the pun. But if you ask everyone who has every smoked a joint if they went on to become street walkers and drug additcs, chances are most will say, "Nope."

So, that argument is just a bad one and far too easy to dismiss. Where are the victims of this drug? Where are the bodies of strung out pot-heads, dead in the gutter with giant, suicidal sized blunts hanging out of their mouths? Where are all of the stoner sniper dudes...sitting atop bell towers, taking out one innocent person after another over some marijuana induced hallucination? Hell, prozac can do that and any one of us...particularly the less balanced of us, can obtain a prescription for that mind altering drug simply by complaining of some psychiatric disorder. That’s a frightening thought...isn’t it? The only people who even DO get the mind altering drugs legally are, by definition, are...how shall I say this...walking on a freshly waxed floor, mentally speaking. Yet they get all kinds of drugs legally just because some doctor who never smoked a joint or some politician who did but didn’t inhale...doesn't understand the idea of a nice, mellow weed buzz and therefore, none of us can smoke any. But, that doctor and that politician can put back as many Buttery Nipples as they’d like to. Once again, on my planet, this makes no sense.

But, in Ohio, as with everywhere else, illegal aliens and...everyone else...are being incarcerated because of some silly political atmosphere that has never, ever existed in the history of man or weed. So, when the good Sheriff from Ohio asks the government to pay for a few of his annoyances, why doesn’t he get all righteous over the people who are locked up for no reason other than possessing marijuana? Possession and other crimes associated with obtaining possession are actions that were never considered crimes as recently as 1937.

Before that, there were states that had outlawed the weed but not because of any altruistic motives that they may have possessed...the laws banning marijuana were then, as they have always been, based in racism. That comment comes from a died in the wool conservative so don’t think that I’m jumping on any bandwagons here, I know of what I speak.

Mormons, Mexicans and Blacks have all been targeted by the development of drug laws and there was a time when it wasn’t politically incorrect to say so...so they did. In 1927, a Butte Montana newspaper quoted a Montana legislator as saying, “When some beet field peon takes a trace of this stuff...he thinks that he has just been elected President and he starts to execute all of his political enemies.” In Texas, a legislator said, for the record, that “All Mexicans are crazy and it’s this stuff that makes them crazy.”

In 1934 newspapers editorialized, “Marijuana influences Negroes to look white people in the eye, step on white men’s shadows and look at white women twice.” Then, as well as now, the government uses our fear of each other and our concern for our children when they portray all drug dealers as predators, skulking outside of schools approaching our innocent little children.

Our innocent little children don’t need such a skulky character...they have their friends. In all my born days, I have never seen a dark, hooded character lurking in the shadows possessing the key too all that is evil on this planet. I had Cindy...my girlfriend since 8th grade who was as hippy as hippy can be while I was just putting away my Barbie dolls. Smack dab in the middle of suburban Chicago 1970’s...Cindy was wild and SHOWED me my first marijuana...I didn’t touch it, I was afraid. I had that healthy fear that silly shit like Reefer Madness put into the minds of children my age.

After all the years that I’ve seen marijuana use in one form or another...the worst "crime" that I’ve ever seen committed relating to it was done by a drug rehabilitation clinic. They charged a 17 year old boy $27,000 to cure him of the ills of cannabis. That was hideous. They totally preyed upon that family, their ignorance concerning marijuana and their love for their kid. Yet, in Ohio and everywhere else, the jails are full of folks who smokum the peace pipe and that’s just stupid. And it will continue to be stupid as long as the people who make these laws continue to drink martinis.

Dear Meg,

UPDATE THE BLOG!!! We are all sitting on the edge of our seats waiting for an update!

I just found that email as I was going through the mail that piled up while I was gone. I hope I didn’t leave anyone hanging there...I had a choice between staying home and close to my computer or traveling a bit to get laid. Ordinarily, I would make a guy come to me but I was having a particularly horny day so, sue me...I went to him. I was tired of waiting and I wanted to nail this guy at least one time after all the hours that I put in on the phone over the past 4 months. If that meant that I had to go to him, that was a price I was willing to pay. So...that’s what I did.

And things turned out better than I had expected them to so I was pretty pleased about that. I’m really enjoying this relationship, much more so than before I got laid. It was fun then too, but the getting laid part adds so much more to the fun...doesn’t it? It is odd getting used to a new guy and trying to train him to do everything just “so”...but I can handle it. So, since things turned out so well, I’m moving closer to where he lives. I was planning on moving anyway, now I will live in a place where I have family and even a few friends. I think I’ll eventually move to Chicago to be near my daughter, but for now, that’s the plan.

The guy is fun to be with and the worst thing that can happen is that we break up and like I’ve said before, if all this guy ever did was get me through the divorce, he’s served his purpose. The rest is just the icing on the cake. The tough part is over, he knows what a nut I am and did before he ever emailed me. He had been reading the blog so I never had to worry about telling him about it which has been an interesting subject to broach in the past. He knew more about me than most people do before they meet me. And, as I suspected...I was able to charm him into falling for me which was no easy task. If you think I’m a doll on the blog, you ought to meet me in person...I’m a hoot.

And Chip is a funny guy which I like...a lot. Not many people can make me laugh on purpose. This one can. I don’t find his presence offensive and that’s always a good thing. He’s a normal man but I knew that so I will handle the stupid man crap that he does because you must in order to have a man. He watches cartoons but that’s not a bad thing...I watched some of them with him and a few are pretty funny. I can’t quite get into the cartoon that has three fast food menu items who are in reality, super heroes that do nothing, but the one with the evil baby and the one with the Cyclops chick are OK.

So, basically, we watched a bunch of cartoons and had a bunch of sex. I missed my computer but I had a decision to make and I went with it. I’m back now and I won’t leave without it next time...I assure you. That was hideous, being without my puter. I’ll have to get one to carry with me when I win the lottery. Then, I’ll get a house in Chicago for my daughter and I’ll fly back and forth whenever I want to. But, in the meantime, I have to move all of my stuff and that’s a bitch. I’m definitely downsizing here. Once again, this is one of those times when the lottery would come in handy but it’s not working out as I had planned. Who’da thunk that you could buy those things for years and never, ever win?

See ya later,

Meg

I can pretty safely say that I have...

...my own personal man and that’s pretty cool. Although my freedom to screw other men is somewhat blurry at the moment, I do have someone to call in the event of a flat tire, local OR long distance. That’s pretty cool. I’m on my own with spiders but that’s only because I couldn’t keep my eye on one until he got here without totally freaking out. But...I DO have someone to call for bail money. That’s another biggie. With sex rounding out the trilogy of man-ownership...I can safely say that I own a used guy.

He even has his own spare tire. I like that in a man...the automatic, convertible belly/cushion thing that so many men possess. I like having access to one of them, too. There has to be just the right amount of hair covering the belly to make it just Neanderthal enough to please without being alarming. That’s a tough line for most men to walk...isn’t it? They have to use just enough of that testosterone as not to be Sicilian (and I say that after being married to one, not in any attempt to be NOT PC or anything like that...whatever. I didn’t even know that “Oriental” was offensive until I used it recently. I thank the lady who informed me for doing so but isn’t that ridiculous? Changing the name means nothing. I don’t ever remember “Oriental” being a bad word. But, I do remember the “N” word being bad. We were taught to treat it like the “F” word. And that meant that we have to be standing in a defensive stance because the nearest parent was about to make a pretty concerted effort to knock you down before they start wailing on you with the nearest belt...and it was the 70’s...Dad had skinny AND wide belts. Mom just went nuts and hit you with whatever she had. That may have been a dish rag...it may have been a steam iron, you didn’t know and you certainly didn’t want to find out what that little woman was capable of when she lost it. It was rare that the woman ever lost it and THAT’S what made it so scary. Anyway...WE, as nice white kids, were taught the evil of that word and we hold it back, stored in a very lonely place...under “Words we would never, under any circumstances, say out loud”. And then what happens? The African-Americans (?) will jump all over it, DIS-empowering the word...I guess and they use it at will amongst themselves. Well, you know what? That doesn’t take away the offense that I take when I hear it. I don’t care what the reason for using the word is and I don’t care. The necessary result is that after such wide use of the word...in television and movies if not in real life...it loses it’s sting and others then feel as though the word is acceptable and it isn’t. I don’t see how people can pick and choose the vestiges of the past that they find offensive or not. Nobody wants the Confederate Flag flying when it was never intended to offend. Now, that it does offend is a fact, but the people who want to preserve it today are not at all doing so with thoughts of racism in their minds. That’s just a fact, too. And while the men who designed the flags may have owned slaves, I doubt that they gave the slaves much thought when designing the flag in the first place. I can’t imagine that they ever INTENDED to OFFEND when they designed the sucker so, while it may have been designed by bigots, they weren’t thinking about bigotry when they made the stupid thing. Now, the swastika is a totally different thing...it was specifically designed to invoke fear.) but still have enough belly hair to qualify as a man. I like a proper amount of body hair on a dude. I don't agree with those guys who shave their entire bodies in an attempt to be all "metero-sexual", whatever the hell that is. I like the fact that men are different. I wouldn't want to start blurring that particular line. I think we've blurred it enough as it is, we don't need the men to start worrying about crows feet and graying temples. Oh well, the bull may be out of that particular stall.

That’s what I think anyway. I don’t even remember what the hell I was talking about. I guess I should leave then. I’ll be back when my mind comes full circle to a place where I can follow along a subject.

OH....I just remembered...it was the man ownership stuff. Yeah...that’s pretty cool. I may not get as much sex as I want all the time, especially when I’m in Gogia...at least I know it’s in the foreseeable future. That was the tough thing about remaining reticent for so long. I never knew when I would get laid until I was actually getting laid. Up until then, I didn’t want to count my chickens before they hatched so I just sort of played along until I sensed a “binding” that assured me that I could finally stop working AT getting laid and work ON getting laid. That was fun.

Well, my brain has left me again so I’m going to run along. I’ll be back after a while.

See ya,

Meg

Dear Meg,

...I find it hard to believe that you wouldn't mind if your new boyfriend went to a strip club. Can you honestly say that it wouldn't bother you if he went to look at other women naked?...

First of all, I never said that I wouldn't mind. I don't really know if I would or not but I would hope that I wouldn't mind. I say that because I fell in love with someone who always freely admitted to stuff like that. He comments on other women as well and that doesn't bother me. He always has and it never occurred to me to change him. To be honest though, it hasn't come up so I don't know how I would feel.

I do know that if Rick had done it, it would have bothered me a lot. That's just because I know that there would be lying involved and I would have a hard time with that. He came into the relationship lying and it's on me for staying but it led me to live with a frame of mind that was always wondering what was really going on. That touched every aspect of our life and ultimately trashed the marriage. I couldn't trust him as far as I could throw him and I knew it. I've never caught this one in a lie so I have absolutely nothing to worry about. So, no. I don't think I'd mind dreadfully much if he went to a strip club. It's not as though they can't see as much on any given television show or movie that they might watch so I don't see what difference it makes. But...until it happens, I wouldn't be able to say that it wouldn't bother me.

I know me pretty well and what stuff like that USED to do to me...B.R., (before Rick). It just would have made me do something else by myself that reminds me that I, too, have the freedom to do such things. I wouldn't go to a male strip club...I'd just go out and shoot pool in some nice little sports bar and mind my own business. Actually, that's probably a pretty good idea...you just both go out and do something that you really enjoy. If the dude wants to go to the titty bar, the chick should be free to go out and do something herself. Both should chip in for the baby sitter if that's an issue, but they should both go out knowing that the other person is doing the same, having fun innocently. Now, that word is relative so it means different things to different people. To some women, a man at a strip club is reason enough to be the OPPOSITE of innocent. And, there are men who think that a woman flirting at the pool table is never innocent...but I know that flirting can most certainly be done innocently...and anywhere.

So, do you believe me now? Another part of your email asked if I was "sorry yet". Nope. Not yet. I'm going go to a place where I have more of a support system and that's always a good thing. So...nope, I'm not sorry. I like my new place and I look forward to fixing it up. That's gonna be part of my rent and I love to decorate stuff so it will be fun for me and I'll have it just like I want it and I have good taste so that's a good thing. I'll take pictures and post them as I fix stuff...that is if I can find a replacement cord for the one that my dog ate. That's the cord that connects my digital camera to the puter. I can take pictures, I just can't take them off of the camera. OK...I just wanted to address that email. I'm going to go write something that I wanted to write now...unless I find some other email that I feel liike responding to as I answer the deluge that I have in my inbox. So, one way or another, I'll be back soon.

Meg

Some people have far too much time...


...and very little to do with their weekends. I just waited for hours for Chip to call only to find out that he spent most of his day on the phone, unnecessarily, with the tech support people at his computer server. Then, he realized that the problem was a small one and something he had asked the tech support people about hours earlier. But the tech support Super Sunday crew assured him that it wasn't the simple thing but some unknown problem that required hours of searching whilst on the phone. After hours wasted speaking to some inept tech support nerd, he found that it was indeed the simple thing that he asked about.

Then, for no sound reason, he felt the need to call them back and bitch at a supervisor even though it takes a half an hour just to GET to the damned supervisor, thereby wasting even MORE time on the telephone with these freaky people who can't work their way onto a Monday through Friday job if their lives depended on it. So, he's had a chance to bitch by phone, which is apparently much more gratifying than bitching by email. Whatever. So, basically, he wasted hours on the phone and then spent another half an hour on the phone in an attempt to complain about being on the phone.

Oh well. I have to transfer all of my utilities as well so I'll be dealing with the freaky people myselves soon. I have thought about it and I could probably do without electricity...I could find alternate ways to keep warm and have light. I don't even think I'd mind terribly if I couldn't have cable. A good book is always better than a good television show and I like newspapers. But, I would hate to have no access to the internet. There's nothing else that holds such connections once you leave your nuclear family. Not only is it an easy way to stay in touch with the people with whom we're already close, it's also a way to form new connections and to maintain those new "relationships" that we all form once we "go online". I missed my puter when I was away from it and I shan't be taking any such chances in the future. I shall be sure that I have internet access at my new place before I lose this one. Yep, that's what I'll do then.

I haven't answered my email yet and that seems to be such a daunting task that I'm not quite ready to go at it but I'll have to do it soon. I hate daunting tasks...don't you? My hatred of daunting tasks used to keep me from attempting to do anything about them until my father said to me when I complained that "The room is too messy for me to clean up, I don't know what to do."

He would say, "Just pick up one thing at a time and put it where it belongs. Then, come back and do it again. Keep on doing that and before you know it, the room will be clean." Of course, he was always right. That's the thing about parents...isn't it? They always seem to be right. And, as daunting of a task as moving is, I've got to get it done now. I've never wanted to be Samantha more in my entire life. That's what I'd do if I had magical powers...I'd twtich my nose and be moved. The lottery thing isn't working out.

But for now, I'm gonna go veg out on the couch for a little while. I have to plan this big move that I have coming up. See ya,

Meg

OK...it's official,

I'm moving. I hate moving. I am going to throw away more things than I'll be taking with me, that's for damn sure. I haven't decided exactly what I'll be throwing away and what I'll be keeping but one thing's for sure...if Rick and I weren't already divorced, we would be after making decisions like that. I have so many things that are important to me that no one else in the world would think worthy of a small spot in a big box full of junk from every junk drawer in my house. I have more of those than I thought, by the way, at least two junk drawers for each room in my house.

We've lived in that house for close to 10 years so there's a shit load of crap built up in there. I'm sure I will come across things that I haven't thought of since the 90's. I hope to find my passport sometime during the move...if I don't then I'll know for damn sure that Rick did, indeed, steal it. That's OK though...I have a box full of all the childhood piftures that he owns. I was holding it hostage at one point in my insane attempt to keep him from leaving but it didn't work. So, somewhere up in my attic I have that box which, when I find, I will be sending back to him...if I find my passport.

Each of my kids have lived there at one point or another so I should find a good bit of their stuff as well. Also, something that I haven't seen in years, a huge Hefty bag full of blue jeans that I started saving after I saw some program that mentioned blue jeans that were worth a lot of money. I must have 75 pair of old blue jeans in that trash bag...now if I can just find the stupid thing, I may take it with. I also have ten years worth of pretty gift bags...all in a couple of large gift bags. I'm sure that those damned things are worth something...they've each only been used once. My encyclopedia is from the mid 80's and still has two Germany's in it but I keep thinking that if I save it long enough...it'll be an antique collection of books worth something. I hate to part with my stuff.

But, I can't move every twisty tie that I've ever saved so I will be tossing some very valuable crap out soon. I hate the thought of that. I've been carying around a decorator plate that my grandmother had hanging in her hallway but it is a collector's edition from the Centennial of the Civil War. I used to hang it up but I got tired of taking it down whenever I had friends over who might have found it offensive so I just left it down. I don't see racism coming into style anytime soon so I probably won't be hanging it up in my new place either. Not that I consider it racist...or even slightly offensive, but I am sure that some people do so out of respect, I'll just refrain from displaying it until I'm so old and crazy that no one would think anything of it. Or...I'll find a nice bigot to sell it to...whatever.

I'm definitely taking all of my collectibles...even my lighthouses. I collected them for a few years but I accumulated so many that they eventually overtook my house like Christmas is trying to do. I had lighthouses everywhere and ON every THING as well. Not a gift giving occasuon would go by where I didn't receive a lighthouse or something with a lighthouse on it. They put lighthouses on everything now...I have trivets on my table with them and magnets on the fridge, they're on a rug, shower curtain, calendar and kitchen AND bathroom towels. When you collect something like lighthouses, you never get anything else but lighthouse crap for your birthday or for Christmas so I'm just collecting diamonds from now on.

Oh my God! I just thought of thr outside stuff. I have 3 lawn mowers alone. Man, that stupid shed is full of crap and I just may have to leave it all. If there's a man out there close to Marietta georgia, you may find a treasure of tools out there...all you have to do is come and take it away. Hell...take it all away. I'd rather just buy new stuff. I may do that. I think I better go get some boxes and a bunch of Hefty bags...it's time to start throwing stuff away. Somebody...please help me.

Meg

It's not me!!!!!

I've finally figured something out. I had suspected it all along but now I'm sure...it's NOT me!!!!! I am not a crazy, insanely jealous wench pycho bitch from hell! Rick drove me to some crazy behavior and turned an otherwise (relatively) normal woman and turned her into a jealous nut, constantly looking for signs of a lie do jour. When Rick would be having his affairs, I would sense the change in his behavior towards me but he always denied any wrong doing. He even went so far as to tell me that there was nothing wrong and that any problems I had were "all in my head" and that I should get "professional help" in dealing with my "trust issues".

I even fell for it a couple of times, going to counselors who eventually told me that I had no problems, but rather that I had reason to be suspicious and that marital counseling was what was called for. Rick never went to more than one meeting with these professionals but continued to tell me that I had trust issues and when I would tell him that his behavior was "driving me crazy", he would just tell me that I was, "doing it to myself.

The purpose of this post isn't to fault Rick or even to attempt to place blame at all...we're all responsible for our own lives and I stayed with Rick after more than one affair, far too many lies and even violence. I wasn't perfect either so I'm not at all trying to attack him here. I'm just explaining something in the hopes that perhaps someone else can benefit from my experience.

I'm with an honest man. I haven't been with one of those animals...ever. For the first time, I have absolutely no reason to doubt anthing that he says and I like that. I don't find myself looking for hidden meanings and analyzing everything that he says, looking for discrepencies. After years of being lied to, it was difficult to listen to Rick without trying to find the bullshit in whatever it was he was saying. When I get in Chip's car...I don't find myself looking for other women's make-up...because he's been so upfront and honest with me that I know that I have nothing to worry about. If I do see something that belongs to another woman, I know who it belonged to and why it's there because he has always told me about the other women in his life, whether I asked him or not.

You have no idea how nice it is to know that I am not and inherently jealous woman and that I'm actually a pretty normal women who doesn't at all mind a man who wants to go out "with the boys" for a few drinks after work...because I know that that's exactly what it is...the guys going out for a few drinks after work. People do things like that without cheating on their partners. At least some of them do. There are some people (ex husband's of mine that shall remain nameless) who can't even go to a gas station without hitting on the attendant behind the counter. He couldn't tell the truth about staring at another woman's ass. Chip will look right at the ass and tell me it looks nice. I like that...his total honesty when he does something negative like that lets me know that he would be honest with me about something easy like the positive stuff like, "I love you."

I consider myself very lucky to have figured this out. I love that relaxing feeling of knowing that I have nothing to worry about from one day to the next. If he met someone else...he's the kind of man who would tell me. So, there won't be any surprises. That's not to say that there won't be any bullshit along the way...just that when I ask if there's any bullshit going on...I will get an honest answer.

That feeling spreads to other apsects of a relationship and I think that everyone benefits from that type of honesty. Unfortunately, a lot of people are out there never quite sure what's going on with their partners. I hated living that way and I'm tickled pink that I don't have to do that anymore.

GOOD MORNING!
I'M STILL VERY HAPPY TODAY OVER MY NEW BOYFRIEND!


Todd has given me permission to use his "real" name...Chip. That's not his given name, but it is the name he goes by. So, from here on out, I'll be referring to him as Chip.

Things are still going well with us and I sincerely think that they will be going well for a really long time. He feels the same way and that makes me so fricking happy that I can't possibly express how happy in words.

Last spring, when this blog was featured in the Atlanta Journal Constitution, the reporter asked me if I feared that the blog would scare men off, neither she nor I even considered the possibility that I would actually MEET a man because of it, but I did. And he has a quality that I consider more important than ANYTHING else...honesty.

After being lied to and cheated upon by EVERY SINGLE MAN that I have ever cared about, I find his honesty to be refreshing, attractive, sexy and more than anything else...extremely different. He certainly isn't perfect but, after the Rick experience, honesty makes all the "bad" things easy to accept.

A woman who doesn't have to wonder what her man is lying about from one day to the next is free to relax and enjoy life.

Life is supposed to be enjoyed and I am so glad that I can finally do just that. At the risk of sounding like some corny Miss America contestant, I think the world would be a better place if more people were able to sit back and enjoy their lives. There would be fewer miserable hags around who's only source of happiness is the misery that they visit upon those around them.

My other ex's wife is one such miserable hag. I have not seen this lunatic more than five times in the past twenty years, I don't speak to her on the phone and I have never lived in the same state that she lives in...EVER. Nevertheless, she is so obsessed with me that she calls me constantly (I don't answer when I see her number on the caller ID), emails me on a regular basis (I delete them without reading them), and she harasses my children about their "crazy mother" CONSTANTLY...for no reason at all.

She was 17 when my 33 year old ex married her after dating for a couple of years. She was a whack job then but I attributed that fact to her age and figured that she would mature with time. Close to 20 years later, that freak is as insane as she has ever been. Between my elderly ex in-laws and my innocent children, she has wreaked ungodly havoc and caused intense pain and misery whenever the mood strikes her self indulgent, childish and downright unbalanced self.

Over the years, I have tried to figure out what causes this freak to behave in such an atrocious and demeaning manner (to herself) and I have arrived at the following conclusion. It's a fact that when people abuse drugs (alcohol included), they stop maturing emotionally. Therefore, if someone begins abusing drugs at the age of 13, they continue to behave as a 13 year old would until the substance abuse ends. So, if one abuses drugs from age 13 to 40, at the age of 40, they find themselves with the "maturity" of a 13 year old when they are 40. This woman , who is now in her mid 30's, has the maturity of a teenager...and an extremely obnoxious teenager at that.

Now, I readily admit to poor behavior in the past myself. But I saw the pain that it caused my children so I vowed to put my kids and their feelings ahead of my childish urge to act like a total jackass. I am so grateful that I have the ability to see my own behavior for what it is and I thank my parents for instilling in me a decency that this quasi-woman will likely never possess. If it was not for the pain that she inflicts upon people that I care deeply for, I wouldn't give her and her antics a second thought. But when I got back from visiting Chip, I found an email from a member of my ex's family describing a recent incident that caused my elderly ex father-in-law serious pain and embarrassment. The thing about all of this bullshit that shocks me the most is the fact that my ex husband isn't man enough to control his wife and protect his children and his parents from this drunken, spoiled rotten brat.

I don't know what it is about some men that precludes them from protecting their loved ones from the nutty women that they marry. But I hope that this post hits home with someone out there who might be dealing with a miserable woman who can't be happy unless those around her are as miserable as she is.

Life is short and, as far as I know, we only get one of them. So it would be a damn shame to look back and realize that you have spent that life suffering and spreading pain to the people around you. Personally, I'm very happy that I have been lucky enough to find a man who loves me. I hope that I never take this luck for granted. I plan to take full advantage of the time that I have left and I pray that I never attempt to find happiness in the misery of others, ignoring the gift that I've been given.

It's a damn shame that more people can't appreciate the love that they have been given.

Meg

HI I'M TODD,

I am going to keep Meg for one more day, and then I will let her go home. I won't let her stay there very long, just long enough to get her things and come back to me.

I never thought I would write on something like this, but here I am. I want to bring her closer to me. Things could not have worked out better for us.

Well, I am not much for writing things on the internet, so I am going to sign off.

Meg will be posting again herself by Wednesday or Thursday.



IN THE MEANTIME MEG WANTED TO RERUN HER FAVORITE POST:

My dog just farted. Jeez, I hate that. I thought that all the nasty farting left with Vex. Oh well, at least I KNOW the dog doesn’t have enough sense to go into the restroom for such things. There has always been a farting man in my life. When I was a little girl, my grandfather, a very successful businessman, would read the paper in his recliner at night and literally lift his leg and fart with no shame or “Excuse Me.” Of course, when I got a little older, my brothers got a thrill out of farting. I left home and got married so I immediately had a farter of my own. Then, without missing a beat, I married again and had another farter. I swear to God, I had him convinced that woman just don’t fart. Next, I was single for a few years but I was working as a nurse so I saw a lot of stuff much worse than farts. Then, I met the fartmaster. (My spellchecker REALLY didn’t like that one.) When my oldest son attained a certain age, he developed a facsination with farting that he pretty much still has. He laughs so hard at his own farts, but you can truly annoy him by farting back at him.When he and Vex where both living with me, it was one great big fart-a-rama. A few years ago, I was in New York and I had this great beef sandwich with peppers...three kinds. I went into the restroom and noticed what a hideous bouquet that sandwich had summoned. I smiled. I began developing my stratagem.It was so marvelously brilliant and the timing couldn’t have been better. They were both in the living room watching television. I went back into the living room and sat down as though all was right with the world. Serenely secure in my evil scheme, I withheld the pressure that was my vengeance for the years of anguish to which I had been subjected by the fartmaster and his little partner in crime. I smiled cunningly as I remembered the silence that preceeded the appalling stench. I knew that there would be no forewarning for my victims. I waited until just the right moment and unleashed what was the most foul, repugnant, revolting “silent but deadly” that I had ever had the misfortune of suffering. And then I sat back and watched the consequences of my reprisal ensue. It was breathtaking...literally.When the effects of my opus first touched their noses, they immediately glanced at each other. Then, they inhaled again. Oh, it was magnificent. I laughed so hard that I instantaneously gave myself away. They both actually got up off of their chairs. The looks on their faces were identical and said the same thing, “How can I leave the presence of this gruesome entity?” Their eyes went back and forth as though they were looking for an exit. You would have thought that they were a couple of mice in the presence of a lion. Such a sense of contentment, I have never felt. I assure you, that one fart made up for the years of olfactory assaults that these two yahoos had released upon me. I have tried, in vain, to duplicate it but haven’t found the proper combination of weapons with which to do so.OK, enough fart talk, the dog just farted again. I guess I asked for that one. Well, I have to clean my kitchen so I can mess it up again by making dinner.


See ya,

Meg Kelso

Hi again!

I've finally found a computer that I can use for now and I hope that I can continue to do so until I get home. I wanted to let you all know that I'm stilll alive and at my new "beau's" place. I'm truly enjoying myself and that's something that I haven't been able to say for a very long time. I should be going home soon but I'm not exactly sure when because it's very possible that I may be moving closer to Todd's home.

That's a very scary propostion for me because, for obvious reasons, I have a lot of trust issues. One of the things that I truly love about this man is the fact that I never, ever doubt a thing that he says. (Unless I'm having one of my freaky "Nothing this good could ever happen to me" moments.) I have never been with a man about whom I could say that and I like it. Oddly though, it's myself that I'm having trouble trusting. By that, I mean that I'm having trouble trusting my feelings and deciphering what they mean. I've never felt like this about a man before so I'm not sure what's going on here. I thought that I loved Rick but if THIS is love, then I can't honestly say that I ever did.

I have quite a bit of thinking to do...that's something that I never really did before. I pretty much just went with the feeling du jour and assumed that it was love. I'm as confused about that as I can be, but that's the way it is. I have to wonder if there are other people out there who are in rocky relationships that they are trying to hold on to for the same reasons that I tried so hard to hold on to my marriage.

Of course, it's always possible that I WAS in love and that there are different types of love. If this is making sense to ANYONE out there, please write and let me know that I'm not insane. If anyone else out there has ever felt these same feelings, I'd like to know so that perhaps other people can learn from us and what we are going through or have gone through.

Not everything is perfect right now...there have been a few bumps over the past week. But, I can't blame any of it on Todd. Each time we hit one of those bumps...it was because of me and something that made me feel like running away. It's all that I can do to tell myself that I need to stay and work these things out. I am determined to learn how to enjoy a decent relationhsip and not run at the first sign of fear which is usually what I do. It's always been very easy for me to bolt whenever anything bad happened. My mother used to say that I would do things to trash a relationship myself before the other person had a chance to disappoint me. If that was true, I certainly didn't do it consciously. My mom was a pretty smart cookie when it came to people so I kind of trust that she was right.

I certainly think that she may have been right when I start to get scared with Todd. Over the past week, I've found myself ready to leave a few times. I felt prefectly justified each time but I forced myself to stay and wait to see what happened. And, what happened was that after a little while...I realized that there wasn't anything wrong at all. So, I'm quite glad that I didn't book and I hope that I can keep telling myself to shut up and trust Todd. Now, I just hope that he can put up with my "issues" long enough for me to get over this hideous habit of mine of leaving rather than working through whatever is bothering me. Lord knows that a lot of men wouldn't bother dealing with some nutty broad who doesn't seem to know what she wants.

I DO know what I want. I want him. And if he can handle my psychotic episodes a bit longer, then I think that we will have a great time together...for a very, very long time.

I'll be back the first chance I get....see ya!

Meg

meg.kelso@gmail.com

Hello there!

Well, I have officially consumated my divorce at least a few times and I'm not finished yet. I cannot tell you how much fun I'm having but I'll do my best when I get home. I feel like Thelma after she nailed Brad Pitt in Thelma and Louise...I've finally been laid properly...and now I know what all the fuss is about. I didn't even realize that I was missing the best part of relationships until the past few days.

Todd and I are havng a wonderful time and of course, it's going by too quickly. I apologize for neglecting you all but please forgive me...this is just too much fun and I've waited far too long for this so I need to make the best of every single moment that we have together. All too soon, I'll be back at my desk, typing away and telling you all about the fun I'm having...well, not ALL about it...but I certainly do have a lot to tell you about.

Right now it's Saturday night and we just finished dinner with his parents. Soon, we'll be back at the things that we are NOT discussing with his mother and father. So...I'm sure that you'll understand if I sign off quickly and go back to Todd, I have to suck his face some more.

I'm having a lovely time...things couldn't be more perfect so I'm going to go back to him now. I hope you guys are having fun as well...I'll be home soon enough and I'll be full of stories to tell you when I am!

Love you all,

Meg

Hi!

I am about to go meet Todd...for the first time and if you’ve been reading this thing for any length of time at all...you know what I’m in for this week. I can’t wait.

This was a surprise trip, I hadn’t planned it but I should have a BEE-U-T-FUL week! I’ve been waiting for this for a while. It’s a shame that I have been free to have fun for close to 3 months but I haven’t. Well, my time is nearing.

The next time I post for you, I should be typing funny.

Wish me luck and think about me! I just have to hope that I can find a few minutes to break away from the antics and post from Todd’s place.

So, give me a day or so to get there and to “introduce” myself to Todd and I’ll be back to let you know how everything is going!!!!!

See ya after the “antics”!

Think about me....

Meg

I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!!

Good morning!

I woke up to the news on my television and I heard that they were still keeping the Israeli Prime Minister in a coma to try to save his life. That’s not because he had any hope, it’s because his family begged the doctors to do it since he was “such an important man”. After a massive stroke, and that’s the term they used, there isn’t much left to keep alive. The doctors were ready to declare him dead the first day.

They wouldn’t have ever made that decision unless they knew for sure that the stroke had left this man in such a devastating state that there would be no quality of life at all for the man. But since he was so important, they decided to “do everything humanly possible” to keep him alive.

It’s odd how just a few months ago we were listening to the arguments as to why Terri Schaivo should be allowed to die. I don’t know the answers to these questions anymore than the doctors do but I do know that there are people like Mrs. Schaivo all over the place that are being cared for by family members and nursing home staff. But because her ex husband said that she made some offhand comment about not wanting to be a vegetable, they just let that particular woman die. It’s a shame that she wasn’t more “important”.

We’ll never know for sure what that lady wanted but I would be willing to wager quite a few bucks that she wouldn’t have wanted her husband to make any life or death decisions for her after he had moved on with his life and started a family with another woman. I feel pretty confident saying that. But, if there are any women out there who think that they would want their husbands to make that decision after he had moved on to another woman, let me know.

I sure wouldn’t want any of my ex’s to make those types of decisions for me. Especially considering that I’m still getting hang up phone calls and emails from my ex’s nutty wife. She seems to be quite obsessed with me and I don’t get that at all. I haven’t seen that woman more than once in the past 10 years and yet she is still overly concerned with me and my life. I couldn’t imagine being so obsessed with my husband’s ex and leading a happy life at the same time. So, I guess I should feel sorry for her but she’s still trying to manipulate my kids something awful so I just feel a bit of anger but I know that sooner or later, the kids will be able to see her for the nut that she is if they haven’t already. I don’t discuss her with my kids, I prefer to let them enjoy speaking to me without fear of me putting them in the middle of this nasty situation.

There was a time when I wasn’t as grown up about these things and I did say some awful things but I saw the pain it caused my son and I never did it again. It’s not worth hurting my kids over. Besides, there’s something very satisfying about knowing that the nutcase is out there, still annoyed and still dwelling on the past...I couldn’t feel that way unless I had just given up on those old feelings and moved on.

I heard someone say that the absence of love is indifference, not hatred. So, as long as my ex and his wife continue to be incredibly concerned with me and what’s going on in my life, I know that he isn’t over our marriage and she is miserable.

Oh, my new phone has a nice feature that I use whenever they call here. I can push a button and the phone stops ringing but it doesn’t turn the ringer off. It just stops that one call from ringing. I like that. I used to turn the ringer off and then forget to turn it back on so this is good.

I have to go to the doctor again today so I need to take my doctor bath in case he asks me to disrobe at all. I hate that. I never know what I’ll be taking off, if anything, but I have to be ready to take everything off just in case. I’ve heard horror stories about some patients who come in not quite ready for disrobing and I’d hate to be the subject of that conversation so I’m going to be squeaky clean everywhere.

Oh, by the way, if you guys remember the lady who's hubby was playing at another woman's house down the street and eventually left the wife and married the other woman before the divorce was final, you should know that there will be some fireworks in Alabama regarding that situation. I haven't gotten the go ahead to tell you about it yet but when I do, I'll be sure to let you know what's going on with that one.

Have a good day!

See ya,

Meg

I use to say that...

...I’ve never been to a titty bar. I can’t say that anymore. Now I have been to a titty bar. I went with a friend of mine tonight and we had a pretty good time. I was rather surprised that there were people who weren’t paying attention to the ladies. If I was taking my clothes off, I would expect everyone in the room to watch.

But my friend just sat there and chatted with me as I wondered what was happening in the pants of all the men in the place. But, apparently a hard on is not a prerequisite. I asked and my friend told me that no, he didn’t get one. There were a bunch of women there watching as well, I’m not sure what they were there for. I figured that they were there to please their boyfriends but a couple of them looked pretty damned pleased all by themselves.

I did sort of feel sorry for the girls, they seemed rather bored with their jobs and I can’t imagine that would be much fun for them. My friend said that he thought it would suck to be a stripper and go home to a boyfriend who wanted to get it on. I said that I thought it would be cool, as long as he didn’t ask me to strip for him too. Who knows, neither one of us are strippers so we just speculated. If there are any strippers out there, you can answer that one for us.

One of the girls had some really cute boots and I asked her where she got them and she said at Hot Topic for 40 something bucks. I think I’m going to buy some of those boots.

I was a tad uncomfortable at first, not knowing where to rest my eyes. I didn’t want to glare at the women but I didn’t want to be rude either. I went to the rest room and there was a stripper sitting right inside the door and I almost tripped over her. Then, I went to go into a stall and there was another stripper in there. I was a bit taken aback when she slammed the door shut. I thought that was an odd time and place for modesty.

The women came up to us and offered table dances...I left it up to my friend. I am a staunch heterosexual and that kept me from sticking cash in their...whatever it was they wore. But I told my friend when he should go up and give them more cash. So, I did donate to the cause in my own way.

I could easily tell who had real boobs and who had fake ones. I was a bit surprised at the numbers of tattoos on these women. I caught one pulling her string out of her butt cheeks so I now know that there are NOT any women who find that comfortable. My friend wants me to go back with him and I really wouldn’t mind. Of course...we were there on a Sunday night...not exactly the most exciting night of the week to go to a strip club.

When my friend got hungry, we left. He didn’t want to eat food cooked at the titty bar. I found that interesting. Whatever, we went out to eat and then to play a bit of pool and then he dropped me off at my house. It’s a good thing that we aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend, I would have felt obligated to get it on with him after he watched all of those women dancing around naked.

It wasn’t bad at all...but it wasn’t anything that I would have spent money to do. If my buddy hadn’t have paid for me, I wouldn’t have gone. But, I wasn’t offended and the women were very respectful when they came up to us and offered table dances...they asked me...not the guy I was with. I guess they didn’t want to get me angry but they didn’t know that I wouldn’t have. I guess they aren’t terribly stupid women...just a bit confused.

But...apparently they are confused women with quite a few bucks in their hands tonight. And I guess that’s what theyre there for so who am I to judge. You know, with all the men that come to this blog after searching for CFNM (Clothed female, naked man), I would think that I could be up on that pole with my clothes on and a bunch of naked men all around me. But...I’m not quite sure if it works that way. There’s really not a whole lot about such things that I do understand. Whatever. So, now I’ve been to a titty bar. And I’m very tired so I’m going to bed now.

See ya,

Meg

There’s a singer dude...

...who wants to run for Governor. And the news chick just said for me to come back to find out why “he thinks he has a shot at it.” Well, she doesn’t need to tell me why a singer dude would think he might have a shot at Governor. If people are dumb enough to put a professional wrestler and a Terminator in the mansion, why not a singer dude?

Did we even check the local high schools for some government teachers before we decided to put professional wrestler’s in office? I didn’t hear anything about that. I would think that we could even use some PE teachers before we had to use the professional wrestlers. But that’s just the way I think, you should put a guy with some sort of reference other than speaking well. Hell, I can speak well, they just don’t give me the microphone. Who do they give the mic to? The bigger news story. A wrestler running for Governor is certainly more of a story than a smart ass woman running for Governor.

The media can pick and choose our representatives simply by repeating the names of the people they’d like to see in office. They’ll tell us who is winning and why everybody else will lose. The polls will support them and the people will buy it. Is it me or is that a scary thought? News people never run for Governor...do you think it will be long before one decides to try?

Oh well. What can you do. I’m bored again. I’m also hungry and I’ve already eaten pizza rolls so I guess I’ll have to go for the yogurt. But that doesn’t help the boredom. If it gets much worse, I may go climb that mountain again. This time, I’ll go alone so I can take breaks anytime I want to. The people there would always make me wait a while after I said I needed to stop before they would stop. And that was getting on my nerves because I would hold it in for as long as I could before I opened my mouth. By the time that I said something, I was dying. I HAD to stop. but, I plodded along anyway. Whatever.

Now of course, my legs are sore and tomorrow they’ll be worse. That was sort of stupid, wasn’t it? These things always seem like such a good idea at the time. If someone asks you to hike up a mountain with them, you have to say yes. And then, you have to do it or go back alone. I didn’t have any matches so I couldn’t have even started a fire for the rescue people. I’d be on the news and I live my life with great attention to avoiding just that.

I don’t want to be on the news. That’s never good. The news and Jerry Springer are two shows that nobody wants to be on. Nobody normal anyway.

Damn...I’m hurtin’ for certain. Damn that mountain.

And damn me for even thinking that I should be climbing mountains. What a nit wit I can be.

Well, this is one of those days where I have to go be bored in the other room every so often so I’m going to do that. If I finish doing nothing, I’ll be back later today. :):):)

Meg,

...How can you say things like that about women? Who’s side are you on? How do you know that the wife isn’t telling the truth? How dare you defend men...

Oh Jeez. I’m on no one’s side. I just have opinions and a blog to put them on. If you don’t like them, you needn’t come back. I’m not “defending men”, I’m defending what is right. If that happens to put your own personal story into a bad light then, too bad for you.

I know that my friend is telling me the truth for a bunch of reasons, none of which I am going to put here because you don’t deserve an answer. I have seen what women are capable of when it comes time to divorce the father of their children.

Rick’s ex kept his kids from him and my ex did the same only it was because he was pussy whipped by his new wife. Until she came along, our divorce was lovely because we both cared so much for our children. She is such a manipulating freak that my ex in laws call me on the sly...afraid of annoying this nut and hearing how “unfair” it is to speak to the first wife and mother of the grandchildren.

When women are selfish enough, there isn’t one damn thing that they aren’t capable of. My friends ex has totally destroyed the beautiful relationship that he had with his daughter. It’s not my fault that is wrong, that’s just the way it is. Yeah, there’s an occasional man who acts like this but in our society, women are the creatures most likely to have the selfish tendencies that make them do the things they do.

They use their children as weapons. They fuck up the kids heads by making them afraid to be nice to a parent that they have always loved. They file false police reports accusing men of repulsive things just to get them out of the house or out of the picture altogether. They lie to the children and constantly say negative things about the father’s of their children in an attempt to make the child too afraid to say, “But Daddy never hit me!” They twist the little minds of these young children into whatever serves them best.

So, defending men? No. Defending children, perhaps. The true shame of it all is that the men haven’t organized themselves into any type of group so that they can lobby for changes in the laws that seem to cater to women who have been organized for quite some time. Until the men become organized, it will always be this way.

I’ve gone out of my way to see to it that, like Johnny Carson, you can’t tell what my political persuasion is. I discuss issues in generalities. But, when it comes to father’s rights...I have to get specific because there is no one else really speaking out for them. Well, maybe an angry man here or there, but no women are out there helping the men who love their children and there absolutely ARE men who love their children.

But, to hear N.O.W. tell the story, men are all evil beings that must be stopped and women are all victims that must be paid. Like the Lifetime Channel, everything is because of some wicked man who did something hideous to some innocent woman. It makes me ill.

As the mother of a son, I know that there are good men. As the daughter of a father, I know that there are good men. As the sister of 3 brothers, I know that there are good men. So, all in all, I just know that there are good men. I refuse to jump on any bandwagon, no matter how enticing, if that bandwagon is playing some Evil Man Song.

When one of them does something evil, I’ll say so. I believe I made that perfectly clear when I began this blog. But, when I see them trying to be honorable people and they end up getting screwed in the process, I have to say something.

Fathers are more than wallets. When one wants to be in the life of his child, he should be assisted along that path, not resisted. I would have rather grown up poor with a father than rich without one. I think that all children would feel this way...that is, before the monster mothers twist their little brains.

So...my guess is that you are some nut who is doing something evil to your kids in order to get back at your ex. There’s no other reason that you would be upset at anything that I wrote when I discussed Parental Alienation Syndrome. You must be one of those monster mothers who has more concern for your own life than you do for the lives of your children. If your ex had done anything truly foul, you wouldn’t be threatened by what I wrote. Just so you know...I think that women like you give the rest of us a bad name and I’d be happy to see you all banished to some island where you can just sit around a campfire trading your “evil man” stories. I also wish that there was a tattoo that could be placed upon your foreheads so that unsuspecting men don’t fall into your gruesome webs.

It takes real evil to explain stories like this one: http://abcnews.go.com/2020/US/story?id=1474625

Good morning!

I climbed a mountain yesterday and I almost wish I hadn’t. It was 3 miles to the top of it and I ran into a few guys practicing to climb a real mountain, Mt. McKinley. They were just practicing but they maintained their male competitiveness, they pushed themselves harder whenever another guy got close to them. I just said, “Go ahead...” and let them pass me, I was lucky to be able to keep going, I didn’t need to turn it into a race.

I don’t understand men but that’s OK because they don’t understand us either. We shake hands and just notice how warm their hand is while they’re out there squeezing each other’s hands really tight to prove what men they are. How silly is that? If anybody squeezed my hand really tight, I would have to smack them a few times to get them over it. What’s the point? I COULD squeeze their hand...I choose not to.

I should make use of this innate thing about men and see who can clean the most of my yard or paint the most of my walls. Where are all the men who’d like to compete now?

My dog is even acting all male now, he’s barking at everything that moves. I have to bring him inside to keep the testosterone kings...the cops...from knocking on my door. So, here he is, eating my hair comb again. I guess it’s about time to get rid of his testicles. There’s far too much testosterone in this house.

Testosterone is at the heart of most of the planet’s problems. It certainly has something to do with war. Only men would think that war, in any form, is fun. Back in the day when they lined up and marched toward each other firing cannons and muskets, ya gotta wonder...why? Couldn’t they just flip a coin? Then they could have made up some great story about how they fought and no one would have gotten hurt. Instead, they just kept coming up with better ways to fight until now...we can just push a button and send a missile into a window. We’ve gotten much better at war, but not at preventing it. I would think that even fake war games would be better than real war. They could all play video games and then declare the high scorer the victor. Or, they could use paint balls. At least then when you do get shot, you can get back up again and go home.

Only men would convince each other that it’s more manly to actually be a warrior that to find ways to avoid war. They have convinced themselves than words like courage, honor and duty have something in common with killing other people. If they would just let the women take over for ONE war...I bet we could show them a thing or two. We wouldn’t want our sons to die so we wouldn’t send them away to fight.

We’d probably just have a pot-luck dinner and after we chatted about everything under the sun, we would just pull straws for the winner.

One of the problems with war nowadays is that nobody seems to know when the hell it’s over and what victory looks like. In Viet Nam, there were a hundred occasions where all we had to do was pull out, go home and claim victory. Who would have questioned that? I think that we could still do that today...if we pulled out of Iraq, went home and claimed victory...who would question us?

But, there’s that testosterone thing again. The men must be able to say that they got a boo boo so that they could win the boo boo medal and drive around with a boo boo license plate. It’s testosterone that makes men think that the guys who get caught by the enemy are heroes. I think that a hero is someone who never gets caught. They shouldn’t give medals to the clods who get caught, they should give them to the guys who are smart enough to evade capture.

But that testosterone is mighty potent stuff. Men say that women dress for each other...I don’t know how true that is but I’m sure of this...men work out for each other. Women don’t want a muscle bound moron who spends all of his time trying to see how wide his neck can get...they’d prefer someone who has spent some time out with other people, learning the social graces.

But, as long as the men are in charge, I guess we’ll all just have to sit back and watch them kill each other. It’s an odd way to spend your time but for now, we can’t get into that clique of controllers so we can just quietly sit back and wait for our turn to run things. It’ll come soon enough.

Meg,

Here's my thought on the men out there who expect women like me to put out - I feel as if they think I'm desperate. Like I'd take anything because I'm dying of thirst out here in the barren, lonely, fully ensconced in middle age desert. Whatever! I'd rather be alone.

Exactly. That’s what I think too. Especially with the youngun’s. The guys in their twenties pretty much come right out and say stuff like, “I bet your friends would be impressed that you’re out with such a young man.” Barf.

I wouldn’t tell my friends that I’ve gone out with a guy in his twenties. They seriously think that an older woman should be more than happy to be with a younger man. Barf again.

If I were to be with a man in his twenties, I can assure you, it would be me doing the favor. I preferred older men when I was in my twenties, I see no reason to change that thought now. A self confidant MAN sitting across the table from you is ever so much more appealing than some nit wit kid in a short sleeve shirt with some Egyptian markings around his biceps. There’s something mighty sexy about a full grown man in a nice suit and there isn’t a damned thing that a twenty something can do to beat that.

That ladies email reminded me of something that I had forgotten to mention when I was talking about dating. That’s the safety issue. The park dude that I spoke of earlier was out in the town square and he was all proud of IT. I can’t imagine what he would have done if I let his ass in my house. He’d still be here, chasing me around the table. You have to be really, really careful about these things nowadays.

You can have a lot of fun meeting people but if you aren’t very careful, you can find yourself in a pickle. One guy gave me a ride home, that’s all it was supposed to be. But he past my driveway and kept going to his apartment complex. When I balked, he just kept saying that he wanted me to meet his wife. I had such a bad feeling about that one that I just got out of the car and walked home. I would have gotten out of the car if I were a thousand miles from home. There’s something freaky about a man who wants you to come and meet his wife. Even if his wife really was in that apartment, I didn’t want to walk into it with her husband.

But I don’t think there was a wife. I think that guy was trying to lull me into a false sense of security to get me into his apartment. That thought still freaks me out. I honestly think he was jack the raper or someone like that.

You just have to use your common sense...most of the people out there are OK and harmless enough. But just a icky, pushy man is annoying enough. That’s why it’s nice to spend some time in a public place for a while. Maybe all of the serial killers seemed like “such quiet men”, but a pushy man will get pushy early on if you give him the least little bit of room. The park guy didn’t assault me in the restaurant, he waited until we got to the park in the middle of town square, literally. If he can do that outside, I don’t want to know what he’s capable of inside.

I like to confine myself to men who’s family came from the northern hemisphere because they were really cold and spent so much time inside that they know how to do it. But even that doesn’t always prove anything...the guy who peed at my door was certainly of European descent.

Oh well. There’s only a couple of alternatives and I don’t like either of them so I’ll keep plugging away at this heterosexual thing. But I promise to run at the first sign of an unwelcome penis, whether it’s just THERE...or peeing at my car door with me looking out the window aghast.

Meg,

I love Cynthia Nixon!!! How did you get her picture...

I worked in a movie called Warm Springs with her. I try to do at least one movie a year. I know a chick who owns a casting company. Well, actually, it’s two people with a cell phone but they do seem to get the jobs. I love doing this crap. It’s quite fun, you should try it sometime. You won’t be a star, but you get to play with some of them and that’s pretty fun.

I put these pictures up last year but I forgot that there are people who haven’t been reading for that long so I put a few more of them up there.

The rest are somewhere on this thing, I don’t remember where. I suppose that you could do a search if you wanted to. There’s a built in search tab at the top of this thing and before I noticed that...I added one to the bottom.

I guess I’ve told most of my best stories, after all, I’ve been doing this for a year at the end of this month. I’ve done some wacky stuff, I get this Lucy Ricardo thing happening occasionally and I have to be in a movie.

Once I wrote an article for a trade publication about a movie that I did called Andersonville and since I had the pictures, I sold them too. I got paid to work in the movie and then I got paid for telling the story and for the pictures. If I could do that all the time, I wouldn’t have any worries. Actually, I think it’s time to look for another movie. That’d be fun to do.

It’s not at all demanding unless you’re bored by sitting around talking to people all day waiting for your scene to be shot. You might actually shoot for 10 minutes out of the day and the rest of the day you’re just sitting around. They have a lot of food, although it’s not the best in the world unless you’re the star. Craft services does have fruit and some good munchies, but the meals aren’t that hot. But it doesn’t matter, it’s pretty fun and you get paid for it so I wouldn’t mind eating prison food if I had to.

I finished a feature film called The Gospel last spring, I think that it should be coming out sometime soon. They don’t feel the need to tell the peons so I never know when the movies will come out until I hear about them on TV.

I’ll put up a few of the pictures and one of me right now. Then, I have to do some housework. I seriously need a hired hand that will work for nothing. Isn’t there anyone out there who would love to be at my beck and call? I hate details. They’re killing me.

See ya,

Meg

Me now.

Me and Kenneth Brannaugh, FDR.

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This is the costume I wore on the train.

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I loved this car.

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Me and my "husband".

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Me and an old car.

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I was discussing Sex and the City today and had to admit that I've never seen the show. But I forgot to mention that I've worked with the star of it. So, this is my way of mentioning it.

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Hello again,

I received an email from a lady who was wondering how a person gets back into dating after being in an exclusive relationship for years. I told her that I just get dressed up and get in the car and wait to see what happens. She was a bit surprised and said how smart that was, there were no expectations. Well, of course there are a few expectations...things like no one will pee outside of your car door (I had that happen on a FIRST date once...had to jump the pee to get out of the van), you expect not to starve to death while on the date and you expect a gentleman. Other than that...I’m not sure what you should expect from a date.

They’re all crap shoots. You should hope to have a little fun, but if you don’t...you really haven’t missed much. That’s all I ever expect out of a date...just a bit of fun. I’ve read articles that say that women are always considering the future on dates...thinking about what kind of husband material this guy would make. I don’t know how true that is...I never do that. I’m usually too busy just enjoying myself or chatting to think about anything else than what’s going on at the moment. Of course...I’m a total airhead and maybe that helps, but I never think about marriage or a future with a guy I just met.

Of course, on a date (especially a first date) I expect to leave my wallet at home except for the mad money. A while back I was corresponding with a guy from LA and when it came time for me to fly out to meet him, he said, we “shouldn’t expect to spend the first night together so why don’t you book yourself a room at the Beverly Hills Wilshire Hotel." Yeah right.

I could see that scene, he walks me back to my room...I’m sure all he would want was a peck on the cheek at my door knowing that I have a bed all my own on the other side of the door. He asked me to book the room before he even mentioned buying tickets so I suppose it was up to me to get to LA myself. What a nerd. I have to wonder if that crap doesn’t work for some men...I hope there aren’t women stupid enough to do that. I wouldn’t mind paying for this or that once I’m in a relationship...but not for some dude who wants me to deliver all of my assets to him personally without any mention of payback. I don’t want to end up on Judge Judy having to explain to her why I ever paid for these things in the first place. I can hear Judy now, “You madam...are an idiot and a whore.” I’d have to agree with her.

As I said, you should expect not to be put in the position of having to play defense on a date. I was doing that quite a little bit last year...almost every single date I went on ended with me saying, “Oh please...not again.” If the first kiss isn’t well timed and mutually enjoyed...then there’s no reason to think that the end of the date signals time for that kiss and whatever else should “come up” at the time. I actually TOLD men about how I was forced to play defense on a date and they were entirely discusted with the behavior of the cad I was discussing. Then, they decided that I must want them so I’m back on defense again...after explaining that I hate that. There's one guy who I went out with in September and he was the worst. He actually put my hand on IT and said, “See what you do to me!” as though just the hint of a stiffie would get me to take my pants of right there on the park bench. This one has a hard time getting the message, he’s still calling me. Well, he’s calling my phone, I don’t answer it.

When men act like that, I feel like telling them that it’d take about a grand for me to take off anything at all for them. But I like being able to say that I am not now, nor have I ever been, a hooker. A friend of mine who has some idea of how many first dates I’ve been on asked me why I haven’t slept with any of them. Well, that’s why. None of them acted gentlemanly enough to deserve a second date and therefore, I never got laid. I could have...it’s pretty damned easy. But...I’d like to want the guy myself and that isn’t going to happen until I see that he’s willing to put in some time and effort. Todd calls me for hours at a time so I know he’s serious...barring that type of attention...I’m keeping it to myself.

I like the first dates where I'm taken to a lovely place and someone has obviously made an effort to see to it that I was shown a nice time. It’s funny but the man who spent the most cash on me, buying lunch at a great restaurant that included two very expensive bottles of wine, never went for anything more than a nice kiss and he let me take over for that.

He was smart enough to just say, “I’d love to kiss you right now.” That was smart because he let me know that he wanted a kiss but that he was sweet enough not to suck face with me against my will. After he said that...I leaned over and kissed him. And it was a good one. I liked that. Usually when men start buying a bunch of alcohol, a woman has to worry about something. But even after the wine, he still left it all to me.

That was so smart because if I didn’t want to kiss him, I would have just smiled pleasantly and blushed or some such coy shit. He did everything right as opposed to the freak with the hard on.

I find that if a woman is just out having fun, she will attract any man that she wants simply because she is having fun. Men seem to like that in a woman. Conversely...if a man has made an effort to show me some fun...I can’t help but like him.

I couldn’t imagine ever appreciating a man who has pants full of fire just for the sake of the fire. But, with the regularity with which they seem to pop up...I have to think that it must have worked for them at some point or they wouldn’t be doing it. Where are those women? I’ve never met one that admitted to doing anything like that and I doubt that any self respecting woman would appreciate it. I don’t care how many bottles of expensive wine that he bought.

My friend is wondering how to get back into dating and I hope I helped her a bit by writing this although I’m sure that she is smart enough to figure it out for herself. I just had a jump on her with the freedom crap so I’ve encountered enough men to know a few things that she would have seen for herself. I think that the most surprising thing that I’ve learned since Rick has been gone is that there are so many men out there who think that a first date is an opportunity to get a nut. So, I don’t have as many expectations as I might have early last year. I’m just happy not to be assaulted. That shouldn’t be such an odd thing to expect, but obviously it is. I’m so happy with the guys who don’t do that stupid horny stuff that I feel as though I almost owe them a bit of something but I’ll wait until the time is right for that...it will be soon enough.

For now I’m just happy to correspond with a guy who enjoys chatting with me and has no expectations of ME. That’s kind of sweet. And sweet is always good. A stiffie in the park is NEVER good and neither is a man who wants me to set up a little bordello in a hotel in Beverly Hills.

Good Morning!

I had a particular reason for posting my email addy the other day (meg.kelso@gmail.com) and then I received a few emails that I hadn’t expected, a couple emails from chicks who enjoy reading this thing. That surprised me because although I expected women to read this when I began writing it, I realized long ago that 9 out of 10 of the people that write me are men. I was surprised then but I’ve since gotten used to it and I’ve pretty much assumed that I was speaking to men. I’m just glad that there are some ladies out there as well. So, since I know that now, I’m going to write for them today.

Aren’t men asses?!?!? Not really, most of them are pretty cool....I just keep choosing asses. In the past year, I’ve learned more about men then I ever did in my entire life. I used to think that they were sort of like us. I guess I didn’t really THINK about the differences at all, I just figured people were people.

But...that is NOT the truth, men are extremely different. I’ll never trust one again the way I have in the past but that’s turned into a good thing.

For example, I now know that there isn’t one man on this planet who wouldn’t cheat given the right circumstances. The only difference is what it would take for one man to cheat as opposed to another. Rick would screw anyone who became horizontal for him and other men might break at the sight of Angelina Jolie. We as women won’t ever know what it would take for our man so all we need to know is that it IS a possibility. We need to take that knowledge and figure out what we need to do to keep ours from cheating.

I have a cousin who would go to her husband’s office and bring gifts for his staff. She didn’t like them, she just wanted to befriend them and let her presence be known. At the time, I thought it was rather ballsy of her, but now I think she was just being quite smart.

I don’t want to come off sounding like some 50’s housewife who is about to tell you to stay home, bake cookies and “stand by your man” but it would be smart to try to be his mistress yourself. I don’t think any of you need advice in that arena...but if you do, go to sugardaddies.com and read some of the profiles of women who are out there advertising themselves to your men, blatantly asking for the men to come up and see them some time...for a price. Now, most of our men don’t have that price, but they can always lower their standards and find a cheaper women who is willing to act a fool for them. If you doubt that, just go to this funky little trailer park in Kennesaw Georgia and look where mine ended up. My ex was certainly no prize, but to some women, he was da bomb because....well, damned if I know why, maybe just because he had a job, who knows. The point is, a goofy looking nerdy technician guy CAN find some flea bitten tramp to screw if he waits long enough.

If you are married to man a with money...look out! There are men out there who wine and dine women like Richard Gere in Pretty Woman and there are plenty of pretty women waiting for their own Richard Gere.

If you’re out there thinking, “Not my man!”...get over it...YES, your man too. They will tell women how rotten you are, how they’re in a loveless marriage, that you have cancer and he can’t leave while you’re so sick, that you’ve been sleeping in separate rooms for years, that you have agreed to a divorce as soon as the youngest graduates college, whatever. I’ve heard all of those this past year and I never even knew I was accepting dates from married men until they decided to share it with me and thank God they did, I would hate to end up being the other woman in any marriage.

I’ve been stunned at the numbers of married men out there on the prowl. One of them hung out at a place that I go to all the time. I’d seen him so many times before and he was always alone. One night I needed a ride home (one of the freaky dates that I had to ditch) and he was happy to help. I asked him in and we ended up making out like banshees on my couch. The next week he left a note in between my screen door and side door asking me to call him. I did. I asked him over for dinner and while he was here, he decided to mention his wife. His story was that she was older than he (I was older than she!) and that she was sort of the bread winner and he didn’t know how to leave her because he didn’t think he could afford to live alone. I sent him packing but all that did was get him to start leaving little gifts in my door next. It took a while to dissuade that one. I feel awful knowing that there’s a married woman close by me who thinks her hubby is being true to her. This guy is a drummer in a band and as cute as he can be. I don’t know why he bothered with me...he certainly has his choice of little girls who would love to hang out with some drummer from a third rate band.

Then there was the one who’s wife "had cancer". He waited quite a while to tell me that one. It was easy for him because he lives in California and travels all the time. That’s another type of husband to look out for. These men actually put out ads saying, "I travel to Atlanta quite often and I need an escort when I’m in town.” They tell you that they are “wealthy” and willing to ‘buy the clothes you need to accompany me”. These guys literally have a girl in every port.

Then there was the doctor from Emory who wanted to date me. He just moved to Atlanta in June and didn’t know a soul. When I mentioned that I used to work at Emory, he freaked and said, “Ooh, I’m married and that’s too close for comfort.” So, once again, there’s another woman in Atlanta who thinks she is lucky to be married to a doctor and there she is, waiting at home as he goes out making “house calls”.

I don’t assume that I should ask questions like, “Are you married?”. I assume that they must be single or they wouldn’t be asking me out. But, I can say with a good degree of certainty that 7 out of 10 of the guys who’ve asked me out in the past year are married men who’s wives are sitting at home thinking they have a decent husband.

Of course there are decent husbands out there, but not as many as you would think. I’m corresponding with one married man who is trying very hard to make his marriage work but his wife is making it tough for him by treating him like he is always lying or doing something “bad”. He isn’t. Not now anyway. He is doing everything that he can to learn how to be faithful. I know that shouldn’t take effort but it does for some people and when there’s one who is trying, you have to support them all that you can or stop bitching when they do cheat. If Rick had EVER tried to ask me to help him stop or if he would have told me what was making him cheat, I would have rolled up my shirt sleeves and jumped on that job. But he didn’t. I didn’t see it coming. I had him on some pedestal for the longest time and the day that he jumped off of it was the end of our marriage and that happened 15 years before we separated. I just didn’t figure it out until last year.

The worst part of cheating is that you leave someone at home who deserves to be out there having a little fun themselves. When I think of all the fun that I could have had while Rick was playing games in that trailer park, I wish I had bought some anti-freeze before he left. I hear it makes a great chili.

Anyway, I’m not sure what to tell anyone to do with this information...I just wish I had known it myself. There are PLENTY of other women out there who DO know this stuff...so if we know it too, we might have a chance. So, go forth and spy on your hubby if you have any suspicions.

Oh, one more thing...EVERY SINGLE TIME I THOUGHT RICK WAS CHEATING...HE WAS. Trust yourself and your gut. Unless you are a total psycho wench from hell, you are most likely right when you start having suspicions. I think that every married woman should have a wad of cash around to use to hire a private detective when she has suspicions. No one need ever know but you and the dick.

See ya!

Meg