Good morning!

I found my father. Well, actually he called last night while I was at work and asked my son to pick him up this afternoon at the airport. So, by the time I wake up this evening for work, my father should be sitting on my recliner, watching me sleep on the couch.

I do have to work tonight...I wasn't going to, but I realized that if I don't have any insurance next week, I'll have to pay for all of my medicines. The meds alone will be expensive, I know I won't be able to pay for the doctor's visits much less my surgery scheduled for Tuesday.

OK then...what else is new? Oh, I had a patient last night who is almost 100 years old. Her son sat with her all night and this morning when I went into her room to say good-bye to her, a different man was at her side. The man stood up to shake my hand and I assumed that he was the brother but he was the woman's HUSBAND! They've been married for over 70 years. The woman is a bit confused but the husband is as sharp as a tack and he's a spry old man. I couldn't believe how easily he stood up...he was as fit as most 70 year olds. He told me about how they met and how they waited until they were "older" to get married. They married when she was 26...I guess 70 years ago that was considered old for a woman to marry. Once again, it was quite touching to see them together and it makes me feel hopeful for my future but a bit sad that Rick blew our chance to be married for life like that.

So they took care of Saddam Hussein, what do you guys think of that? I was amazed at how quickly they hung the fat bastard. I guess I didn't realize that other countries don't have a thousand appeals that allow convicted murderers to die of old age before they die of rope burn.

I sort of think that we as a nation belittle our own sense of decency by executing people, I don't think that we really benefit much from the few executions that we actually carry out. If we fried them as quickly as Iraq just hung Saddam, it might make a difference. But people probably don't believe that they'll ever really get executed and if they do, they have so long to wait that capital punishment isn't much of a deterent.

My father (who is an attorney) told me that there are 4 reasons that we incarcerate/execute people. They are to punish, to deter, to segregate and to rehabilitate. Capital punishment, the way it's doled out here in America, doesn't really do much in the way of detering. I think that we would do better to just have the respect for life that the murderers lack. Unless we can do it in a more fair and consistent manner, I think that we would do much better just to sentence them to life without the possibility of parole.

In the mean time, I guess that we should just send the murderers to Iraq. With a swift justice system that executes people that quickly, it might actually do some good.

Well, I have to go to bed (couch?) now so I can get a few hours sleep before I have to wake up and go back to work. You guys have a great weekend, I'll be back in the morning if not sooner.

See ya!

Meg

The spaghetti chick...

...got too bold. I published her comment with a link to her blog and she got greedy, posting another comment for me to stick under another post. So, I deleted her first comment. What a nimrod, like I would seriously keep on posting commercials to annoy the hell out of you. She got by one of my publish-reject sessions, she didn't make it past two.

And someone else asked what I thought about falling for a person who you've never seen. Well, it can be done, I suppose. I sure as heck did fall for people I saw but never actually met. It isn't too nuts to go the other way. I was insane over Donny Osmond, my crush on him lasted longer than my first two marriages combined.

I have figured out that my father might have a tough of Alzheimer's Disease himself. He told me that he was going to spend 4 days at The Abbey in Wisconsin. Then, he was supposed to come back here for me to pick up at the airport. Well, he never told me when he was coming back and since it's been 4 days now, I called The Abbey to see when he was coming home. Well, he wasn't there and they said they didn't have him in their books at all. Now I don't know where he is or when he'll be coming back here. Isn't that lovely?

I have no clue what airline he's on or what city he's in now. I do know that his lady-friend has a doctor's appointment on the 2nd so he has to be back in Florida before then. Of course I don't have a clue who to call...if I needed to know where he was, I'd ask me and I haven't a clue. He also said that my bother was supposed to be operated upon this week but he isn't being cut up at all so far as anyone knows.

So, for all intents and purposes, I have lost my father and his friend. Of course, I've gained a cat in the deal...hers.

I just got out of the shower and my hair is all up on top of my head in a towel and I have to go to work in a bit. I guess I should blow my head dry so I need to run. I like to get dressed for work watching Seinfeld. Last night an episode that I've rarely seen, the one where George's fiance croaks, was on and I had to leave before she keeled over so I missed it again.

Oh, before I go, I ran into the cute nurse again...this time on purpose. I think that I'm going to ask him out...I just have to figure out the best way to ask the dude to go out with me without having it sound like I'm really asking him OUT. I would be, but I don't want him to think that until I'm ready for him to think that. I haven't asked a guy out in a while. I'm setting this one up pretty well. I should be ready to pop the question in a few days...I'm still busy greasing the pan.

Have any of you women asked a guy out? What do you guys think of women that ask you out? I'm pretty much looking forward to this. He is a CUTIE! OK, Seinfeld is on so I have to throw some make-up on my face and blow the head...then I'm going to work.

Ciao,

Meg

Well, here I am.

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I just saw...

...an interview with Mel Gibson. He was apologizing for his recent anti-semetic rant and justifying it by saying that his "rights as an American were violated". And...he said it with an American accent. I know that a person can have duel citizenship...but can you have duel accents as well?

And why didn't the press mention that little piece of acting that Mel did for us pions? They most certainly would have chatted it up if Bush started speaking with an Australian accent. I think that Mel and the media think that we are some stupid, stupid people. Are you guys gonna let them get away with that?

Meg

Well...

...maybe my first trip should be to Montana. That way I can get the divorce papers entered in a Montana and I could see one of the 6 people who live there. I can't believe I never thought of that until now. I haven't seen Rick in a while, it would be interesting to see him again. I would have to take a camera crew, though. It would be far too much fun to keep it all to myself.

Even though I've told him over and over again that I would work with him, he is hiding out over the insurance and I have a surgery scheduled for next week. Isn't that lovely of him? Montana wouldn't have been on the top of my list of places to go...but it is a place to go. I can take the time off of work, I had planned to do that for the surgery anyway. And if I can't have the surgery I won't need the money that I've saved up so I could easily afford it right now. I'd rather NOT spend my cash on a trip to the Twilight Zone...but I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I know that he reads this thing, I see his stupid ass during his normal work hours. I guess he doesn't have a puter...or else I don't see his home computer if he has one. But, I do see him during business hours. So buddy? How 'bout it? Are you going to return my phone calls or do I get to travel up to meet you in person? Either way, it'd make for good blog material. Find a man and ask him what he would do in these circumstances.

Hiding is just so Rick...he hates dealing with reality. I shouldn't have expected him to be any more honorable in the divorce than he was in the marriage.

Anyway, I should be getting to bed. I feel like crap and I'm in the mood to just stare at the ceiling. I'll be back later.

Meg

ROTFLMAO!!!!


I just recorded a greeting on my new phone/answering machine. If you want to hear it, you can. Just dial 770-428-4017 and listen to it. I don't mind, I'll be sleeping and the phone doesn't wake me up since I'll be sleeping in my own room today.

I bought myself a french press and I'm drinking the coffee that I just made with it. I used the scoop that came with it and I think I added too much coffee because this is some extra super caffeinated mighty coffee that I could have used last night when I was working.

Over the past two weeks, I've worked on a telemetry unit, an oncology unit, a surgical unit, emergency room overflow, interventional cardiology, in-patient rehab and neuro. I love this job. I never know what unit I'll be working on until I get there so I can't dread my job on the way to work as I have in the past. I love having so many different options of places to work. Even though the system is pretty much the same wherever I go (I work for the agency of a hospital corporation that has 5 hospitals in this area, I work at 3 of the different hospitals) and I know the system well, I've also worked in enough areas over my career to be able to float around the hospital. And, I'm a very good nurse.

I ran into another nurse from my agency who can't seem to get enough hours while I get more than I want at times. That makes me feel good. We're supposed to call them with our availability but before I get the chance to do that, they end up calling me. That means either that they think I'm good at my job or they realize what a sucker I am and that I can't say "No" if someone needs a nurse. Of course, it could be both of those reasons...so I'll take that and feel really good about the fact that I am one of the go-to nurses. They have confidence in my ability to cover so many departments so that makes me feel really good about my own skills.

It's also helping me to have a more rounded resume so that I can get jobs with other agencies in Florida and California. That way I can visit my father and my daughter and work a few shifts to pay for the trip and then some. I can travel, and take the time to work enough so that I don't have to worry about paying the bills when I do leave town. I also want to work for one of the traveling nurse agencies that sends you away for at least 13 weeks. I could still come home enough to work my 48 hours a month at my "real" job. These folks have been great to me and I love the work so it's all good.

My goal for the New Year is to be able to do some travel nursing. I can't wait. I always thought it sounded like fun, but had kids at home and a husband to take care of. Now I don't and I'm going to take advantage of my freedom to finally do some of the things that I couldn't do before.

Well, I'm going to play with my new phone for a while, entering my friends phone numbers as such. So, feel free to play with my phone as well, I really don't mind. Just dial the number and listen to the greeting.

See ya later!

Meg

By the way, I have a new email addy because of that stupid survey company that I signed up for. It's left my inbox so full of spam that I can't find the emails that I want to read. So, this is my new addy:

MargaretKelsoBroderick@gmail.com

Well...

...my father found an interesting way to get what he wanted.

He has been complaining for months that I don't have an answering machine. He kept asking me to buy one and I kept resisting because I didn't want one. But, I didn't want call waiting either and I got that because a bunch of people kept complaining about getting a busy signal. I stood firm against the answering machine because I was so annoyed about call waiting.

But, Merry Christmas!

My father got me a new phone with it's own answering machine.

Now I have to figure out how to hook it up all by myself and then record a message that doesn't sound like a million other phone greetings. I'll come up with something, I'm sure. But why did he feel the need to do that? If his number is on my caller ID, I always call him back...it's not as though I ignore his calls likes I ignore unknown numbers that call. I always return my father's phone calls. But that's not good enough...he wants me to be able to leave me a messgae. Whatever.

Now if he leaves me a stupid message about something that I don't want to discuss, I can just blow him off. I only return his calls because I'm worried that he might be sick or something like that. Now, if I know he's healthy, I can call whenever I want to. I like to see things in a light that is better for me.

I found out recently that my neice is expecting. I'm going to be a GREAT AUNT! That means that I am moving further up the generation ladder and closer to death. Oh well.

Since I worked last night, I slept all day. So now I'm wide awake at a quarter to 2 in the morning. I did wake up once when work called. I schedlued myself for Wednesday, Thursday and Friday nights. Then, I'll take it easy until the surgery and slowly go back to work as I can handle it. I have enough saved up to be able to take a few weeks off if I have to.

I think that while I'm recuperating, I'll send off for nursing licenses for two other states so that I can work in them when I visit. That'll be pretty cool, won't it?

Damn...the dogs are so happy to have me awake in the middle of the night that they are both competing for my attention. I think I'll play with them for a while so they'll leave me alone.

I'll be back in a few.

Meg

Dear Meg,

"...I've been with said boyfriend two years now, and have had enough. He lives with me. What's a good way to break it off?..."

Great Question!

So many variables come into play here, is he living in YOUR house? Did you guys get your own place? Has he treated you well? Would he flip if you were simply honest with him? I would always try honesty first unless I knew that it would get me harmed in some way. (If so, I would be sure to stop being alone with him, that's very important.)

As a dumpee who was dumped in the most heinous of ways...I would say that you should try the decent, honorable thing and just tell the guy that for whatever reasons, you are ready to move on. I usually said something like this, "There comes a time in all relationships where you realize that you need to get married or move on and I now feel the need to move on." I would be as loving and kind as I could be. If you guys are living in a jointly obtained place...you should offer to leave or at least leave it up to him as to how you two should dispose of the apartment. If he lives in your place, tell him that he has a generous time in which to find another place. If it's his place, just pack your stuff and tell him that you have to leave now. Tell him why, don't be afraid of the truth. It isn't always the easiest thing to do at the time, but in the long run, it will be much easier. And...it's always the RIGHT thing to do.

If he has been an ass...then you have some leeway here. If a guy had treated me poorly, I would just move out and leave a note. If it's your place and he's been an ass...then meet him at Denny's and tell him in public so that he can't throw a tantrum. Take your own car so that you can walk out and leave if you need to.

I guess the bottom line is that you know the situation better than anyone...and you probably inherently know the right thing to do...you just have to do it. And do it soon. If you read that last post...the point was that no one should waste their life with someone who they know they don't want to be with. If you know you can't love each other like you each deserve to be loved, then you need to just bite the bullet and get it over with.

It would be nice if they made it easy for you to be a jack ass about it...but be honest with yourself...don't make shit up just to justify rude behavior. Has he lied to you? Has he cheated? Is he a mean guy all around? Has he disrespected you? Has he consistently disregarded your feelings? If so, just do what you want to do and leave a note. Some people say that leaving a note is a crappy thing to do and maybe it is...but it's better than not doing anything.

In the long run, the most important thing is that you not waste your life. Don't sit around and do nothing for fear of change. If you don't take control of your life and change things when you want to change them, then you will be sitting back and letting life control you and that's no good. If there's one thing that I've learned in all of this...it's that. If you don't control the changes of your life, then someone else will. Or, if someone else doesn't control your life, then there will be no one in charge and you'll just be floating on the wind. So do what it is you know that you have to do.

So many people do what I did, they sit back and wish for things when all the while they could be working towards actually having the things that they want. I guess it's because we don't think that we are actually capable of certain things when in reality, we can do whatever it is we want to do. We just have to want it badly enough and believe in ourselves enough to dare to try the things that we want to try.

I've wanted to travel so much and all I did to obtain a ticket was to wait for life to take me somewhere. Well, the Earth didn't spin underneath me and put Paris under my feet. But, I do something as obvious as get a good job and work hard at doing the best job that I can and I could go to Paris tomorrow if I wanted to right now. It wouldn't be smart with the surgery coming up but right now I have enough in my savings account to go anywhere on the planet if I wanted to. Knowing that is good enough for now...I'll wait and do it when it's the smarter thing to do...but right now I know that I could do it and that's an amazing step for me.

You know, I learn as I say this stuff myself. It's really nothing more than writing things down and seeing them for what they are. So, I have faith that I'm not too different from most people. I think that all of us know what we should do...if we had a friend in our situation we could give them great advice. It's just a matter of being your own best friend. Tell yourself what's going on and then talk some sense into you. You can do it. Pretend you're speaking to your kid sister.

I bet you figure it out nicely.

Meg

Howdy!

So...I just got home from working all night and I'm wide awake. I didn't plan any shifts past Christmas so I'm off until I call and schedule some more. I actually messed up the day of my surgery this month, I thought it was the 21rst and it was the 12th. I found that out on the 18th. So, I've resceduled it for January 2nd...now don't let me forget that.

My father is probably landing in Chicago about now and then he'll be driving to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin for a 4 day holiday. He and his "pleasantly confused" third wife from whom he is now divorced are going to stay at The Abbey...a wonderful place that I stayed at when I dated men other than Rick. After I met him, I stopped staying at Marriott's and places like The Abbey and began staying at Super 8's. I'm not complaining...merely making an observation.

Something has occurred to me. As well as I'm doing now, if I'd have been rid of Rick sooner...I'd be much further ahead than I am now and I never would have stopped having fun in my life. I walked with Rick through the living room of life that was watching TV for 20 years. I watched TV with his bald ass every night for all that time and was always so fricking pre-occupied with his dishonesty that I couldn't really concentrate on myself and doing what I needed to do to get ahead and have the things that I always wanted. All I wanted was Rick and for him to be honest with me. Anyway, he's outta here now.

I'll be damned if I'm gonna make that mistake again. It still irritates the hell out of me that he wouldn't be honest...ever, ever, ever. Ever. Do any of you understand how something like that could still bug the crap out of a person? I wasted so much of my life on a liar and that's pretty much exactly like having your life stolen from you. There were so many things that I wanted out of life and so many things that I've always wanted to do and the only thing that has EVER stopped me was Rick.

My first husband didn't stop me, he surprised me with a schedule one day when I wanted nothing more than to go back to school. I wanted to take a few courses one semester after I had my daughter and somehow he found the money, registered me...and presented me with the schedule one night while we were watching television. I was so happy that night. I never stopped going to school after that even though I had another kid the next year.

Oh well, I have no one to blame but myself for that because I stayed after the first time. That was stupid. I have NO idea how much he got past me. He was a serial cheater, only once every 6 years or so...that I knew of. And the lies were scattered throughout the entire time we were married. So, I pretty much walked into that one. You see how you can let that happen over the years...esepcially if you're always wondering what's real and what isn't? You don't want to believe it and at some point it's easier to believe that YOU are the problem...after all, they tell you that you are! Part of believing a liar is believing that there's something wrong with YOU. That just naturally follows...doesn't it? So...that's just one hop skip and a jump from feeling rotten about yourself...isn't it? Try that for 20 years and see if you don't look around and say..."What the hell happened?" That's a real brow furrow-er...isn't it?

Wow...brow furrow-er is difficult to say out loud...try it. Brow furrow-er. Brow furrow-er. Brow furrow-er. Man, now I have to go away. That short circuited my brain.

Meg

~~~By the way...I saw a cute nurse dude last night. Not many men can pull off being a nurse so well. :)

Dear Meg...

I only wish I could have half of your self esteem. Maybe if I sit here and write it down, I'll find that i have done more in my life than I've been led to believe.

What a great idea! Give yourselves a great gift today...sit down and write a list of the things that you have accomplished and your best attributes. Don't leave anything out, go back to the time you were 7 and just try to remember everything that you've ever done that makes you proud. Ask someone for help if you have to...but do it! After you do, stick that list somewhere and read it whenever you start to feel badly about yourself.

I'm nothing special, just a woman with a blog who has lived long enough to do things that I've always wanted to do. I have done things that I once thought were only dreams, like doing stand up. I always wanted to do it and finally one day...I just did it! I did it for about a year until I got really good at it and just then the cancer hit and Gail Glenn came into my husband's life. After that hideous summer, I didn't have any jokes inside of me. Maybe I'll do it again and maybe I won't. But no one can ever take away from me the fact that I did it and did it well. There are still things that I want to do in my life and God willing, I will someday.

Last night I got the best Christmas present that I could have asked for. I grew up in Chicago and every day as a child, I watched Ray Raynor, Garfield Goose and Bozo. Well, WGN had a two hour special about those 3 shows last night. I sat there, like a kid again, smiling at the things that I watched for years. I saw things that I haven't thought about since the 60's and it made me so happy that I can't imagine anything else that I want right now.

Every Christmas, they played 3 cartoons, "Hardrock, Coco and Joe", "Suzy Snowflake" and "Frosty the Snowman". And, every Christmas for the past 30+ years...I have wished that I could see them again. Last night I did. I remembered the words to the songs and I sat there like a kid and sang them...sitting all alone in my living room. My dogs just stared at me trying to figure out why their mistress was singing silly songs. I couldn't have been happier. I'm sure that thousands of other people around the country watched that show with the same awe that I did. I'd love to hear from anyone else out there who knows what I'm talking about! I thought about the fact that I may never see those cartoons again and it made me a bit sad. But, not enough to take away the joy of watching the show last night.

The program inspired me to have another dream...albeit a silly one...I'd like to be a clown! I'm going to work on my outfit and create a character and a little show for kids and then I'm going to do what I can to do make kids laugh in as many ways as I can come up with. As crazy as that sounds...it also sounds like bundles and bundles of fun!

My father is on his way up here as I type this and my grandkids are opening their presents at home. They'll be here soon to mess up my house in the most wonderful way it could ever be messed up...by opening a thousand Christmas presents. There's nothing more wonderful than having children in your house on Christmas. And having their great-grandfather is just the icing on the Christmas tree! Four generations will be here, all sharing the Christmas spirit and listening to Christmas music. I can't wait. And then, before the fun is over, I will have the privledge of going to work on Christmas and caring for people who are too sick to be at home today. I'll wear my jingle bell earrings and see if I can find another old man to jingle my bells.

Someone thanked me for the past 12 months of the blog. How sweet. But, I have to say that you all have kept me coming back...if you didn't come here, I wouldn't have come either. There have been days that I didn't feel like writing but I knew that some of you would be signing on to see what the newest escapades of Meg were so I trudged over to the computer and wrote for you anyway and I'm so glad that I have kept the blog up. I've gotten more from it than you will ever know. So...many thanks to all of you for coming back day after day. I look at the stat counter and see the same people coming back over and over again and it's for them that I'm here. Many of you have made comments and I LOVE that! But even the folks who just stop by to read are in my thoughts as well. I know there are many of you who never comment but always come to see what's new with me and I thank you all for that. I am stuck in a place in which I have few friends to speak to but you all have done quite nicely as my buddies and the folks with whom I have shared my ups and downs, my accomplishments and my not so proud moments. I'm so glad that you've been there for me to talk to...I don't know what I would have done if you all hadn't been there. So...once again, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Last night I got a call from one of my very good friends, the lady that I occasionally take care of who is bedridden. She had some bad news...her mother died yesterday. Then she told me that one of her home health workers was the victim of a house fire. She lost everything. She works at one of the hospitals that I work at so I know her quite well. I'm so sad for both of them and it puts things in perspective. I can't be too upset over my silly love problems when there are those who have had such dreadful things happening to them.

But all in all, it's been a great year. I started out on probation and jobless. I spent a couple of weeks in jail early this year and I've had some nasty little bitchy things to happen to me. But I've ended the year with a great job, I'm off of probation and I have some beautiful children and grandchildren. My father will be here soon and I have 5 younger brothers and sisters whom I love dearly. There are many things that I've lost and others that I've never had. But I choose not to think about those things because so many wonderful things are happening to me now. So...as bad as things have been in my life, as usual...life always come full circle and now I'm finally beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel and the silver lining in the cloud that was my divorce. I am now everything that Rick wanted and more. And...I'm so happy and so lucky and so FREE!

Well, it's time for me to set the table with my Christmas china (that I bought last year after Christmas for 90% off!...I do so love a sale!) so I should go now. But not before saying thanks again for the inspiration that you have been to me. You'll never know what it means to me. And..of course...Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukka, Joyful Kwanzaa and love to you and yours! Here's hoping that all of your dreams come true and that you are the best that you can be...through good times and bad, sorrow and joy, with loved ones or seperated from them...you are a gift from the Heavens and may there be many in your lives who appreciate you!

And I would be remiss if I forgot to mention those who are away from their loves ones fighting for our right to celebrate our own personal holidays, our right to speak what we want to speak and the freedom to live a life full of adventure, surprises and happiness. May they all safely return home before the next holiday and may their familes find the peace of mind to enjoy today and the days ahead...and may they all come safely home. I wish for them a quick return to the arms of their loved ones, may that welcome home hug come sooner rather than later!

Merry Christmas and a Joyous New Year!

With love and all my best wishes,

Meg

"Be glad that you uncovered this ones mad plans to control your world before it got any farther."

Oh my God...that comment hit me like a ton of bricks. Yes...it is exactly like some madman has plans to control my world! I don't know how I let this happen but I did. I totally allowed someone to take over my psyche in ways that I never would have allowed anyone to do before.

Like I said before, it happened so slowly that I didn't even see it coming. Not right away...I did see it start to happen a while back. But I honestly thought (Here I go again...) that if I waited and spoke to him, he would understand the logic that I would impart to him and he would, sooner or later, calm down and just enjoy our relationship. That never happened. Things just got worse every single day.

It was easy to let it happen because I didn't really have anything else to do. I didn't mind not going out...so he assumed that I would never want to go out again. I didn't mind his company because I was so lonely...so he assumed that I would never need another human being again. I didn't mind so many things because I wasn't doing anything else anyway...so he assumed so many things that I LET him assume. And...I assumed that if something that was really important to me came up, he would say, "Sure babe, if it's that important to you...go ahead. I love you so much that I want you to be happy."

Well...shitfuck. I screwed up. You know...I just mentioned the trip to Europe...I didn't buy tickets, I didn't even go get my passport replaced. I just mentioned that sometime, I would like to go to Europe alone. And then I spent the next 2 days arguing over every stupid thing he could think of...when the entire problem was that I said I wanted to do something that didn't include him. And...naturally, he told me how I would be NOWHERE if it weren't for him. So, basically...I am nothing but a bum who has him to thank for all that I have accomplished since I met him.

Naturally that means that I wouldn't be a nurse at all if he hadn't helped. Well, the truth is that I was a single mother on food stamps almost 30 years ago and using those food stamps shamed me into going to college and graduating with high honors...while rasing 3 school aged kids. Supposedly, his help negated all of that and even though I've been a nurse for decades...I wouldn't have a job today if it weren't for him.

I bust my ass for 14 hours a night...5 nights a week...to earn a nice paycheck. I care for people, I do all the paperwork (which is now computer work), and I sleep 5 hours in 48 to see to it that my patients are well cared for. But...it was HE who did this...simply by driving me to and from my job. The hands that are typing these words have healed people...the mind that is creating these words has known what to do when patients have gone quite bad...and my own sense of compassion has quieted worried family members as well as frightened patients. Yet, none of this would have happened if I didn't have his help to get from my house to the hospitals that I work at. So, obviously...all of my patients have him to thank, not me.

All that I have earned and all that I have accomplished is nothing. I am nothing. I would be nothing but a body with no hope had it not been for his help. He tells me so in his own words. He tells me what trash I am...in his own words...in a lame attempt to manipulate me and my emotions. I imagine his tactics have worked for him in the past...but not with this bitch. He tries so confidently to make me feel as though I owe him all that I am and all that I have. But if I was such nothing...why did he ever say that he wanted me in the first place?

He says that I used him to get all of his help. Does he honestly think that I would be sitting here with nothing to do and no cash if he hadn't come alone? It may sound a bit crass when I write these words, but the truth is I would have had another man to help me do the things that he has helped me with. And, I've had men with much more in the way of resources in the past. But, I chose him. That means nothing to him at all. Nothing except, obviously, I chose him to use.

Some men would feel honored that a lady chose them. They would be glad to help because they know that they would benefit from all they helped me accomplish. But this one took my intentions as dishonest and desperate. I was never dishonest, I was never desperate. I always had a man here or there to ask for help, I just chose not to ask some of them because I wouldn't have wanted to be indebted to them. I didn't mind asking this one, because he seemed like such a decent soul.

I've heard people say, "He (or she) changed right after the wedding." I never believed that to be true. I never thought that one person could, or even WOULD go out of their way to make someone fall in love with them, only to totally change after the committment was made. Well, it does happen. This one literally changed after I made that comittment. The man that I fell for, the bright and funny guy, the charming man who made me laugh...is gone. He has been replaced by someone who doesn't seem to like me at all. When I cry, he gets angry. I'm used to men who cannot stand to see a woman crying. They usually stop what they're doing and hold me close...and tell me that everything is OK. But this one just gets angry and says, "Stop that bullshit, I'm not falling for it." I never cry to get pity...but when I'm hurt so badly that I do cry...the man who cares for me is supposed to care enough to make that stop.

He has slowly taken control over so many aspects of my life and I let it happen because I had no other plans at the time anyway. I didn't have anyone else to hang out with so he assumed that I never would want to hang out with anyone else...not even my baby sister. I don't really go out much at all, so he assumed that I would never want to go anywhere. And when I asked him to take me to my favorite hang out...he said, "Oh, I would never go to a redneck dive like that...but I will drop you off if you feel the need to go there."

That comment is supposed to make me say, "Oh no! You're right, I wouldn't ever want to go there...I never realized what trash my friends there were...how could I have been so stupid! Thank you for helping me see the error of my ways!"

Well, those people have never made me feel badly...they've always made me feel welcome as soon as I walked in the door. It's one of the few places that I can go and not be annoyed by drunks...my pals there would put a stop to it quickly. I'm NOT trash for wanting to go out and shoot pool...I'm just a chick who enjoys shooting pool! And..I'm damn good at it, too! But, instead of saying, "Man! You ARE good at that!", he says, "Why would a lady even WANT to shoot pool? Don't you want to have people think you're a lady? Well, everyone knows that only sluts play pool!"

And, my desire to go to Europe alone was translated into, "You must be a slut who wants to fuck men in every country you visit!" I was supposed to respond, "Oh! Please don't think that of me...I'm not a slut...I won't go...just to prove to you that I'm not a slut! Gosh...don't think that, I'll do anything to make you think good of me!"

I shouldn't have to prove to my man that I'm not a tramp...he should have known that when he chose me as a girlfriend. But, he uses the threat of being called a slut, a dive-dweller, a user of men and an all around rotten human being as his tools of control. Well, he ran up against the wrong slut this time. I don't care what he threatens to call me...I know what I am and I know that I'm a decent and kind human being. I know that I have many good points, a few bad ones and even some GREAT points! I'm a great friend, a hard worker, a loving human being and a swell person to hang around with. I make people laugh, I can carry on a conversation with a garbage man or a senator. I fit into most every type of social setting in which I find myself. I'm a great dance partner, whether the dance is the two-step or a waltz. I can carry on a converstaion about football, politics or the writings of Plato. I make people feel at ease when I speak to them and they tell me so. In my life I've been called beautiful, bright, witty and clever. I'm kind to everyone and I'm grateful to anyone who has ever done anything for me. I never forget a favor and I'm willing to do anything that I possibly can for another human being, no matter who they are. I would give you the bra off my back. I can navigate a menu at Denny's or in a fancy Parisian restaurant. I speak more than one language and I can muster up the cutest Southern accent that you've ever heard. I can take a sad person and make them smile. I can relate to anyone and put them at ease, in the most tense situations that they find themselves. I respect all people, no matter where they come from. I see the good in everyone and I tell them what I see. I have been all over the world. I have college degrees that I earned with high honors. I've worked in a factory and some of the most world reknowned hospitals that there are. I've done stand-up comedy and I've appeared in quite a few movies. I've met presidents and movie stars. I've worked with congressmen and doctors as well as waitresses and people who wipe asses for a living. I'm an excellent writer and I've been published in world class publications. I also enjoy writing for you guys in this humble blog.

So, if some nimrod thinks that he can make me feel like slime for wanting to do something on my own...LOLOLOLOLOL...he had better think again. There isn't a damn thing that anybody else can do to make me feel worthless. Rick did that so well that all else pales in comparison. Over the past two years I've worked on my self esteem and now I know that I'm not a bad person. To the contrary...I am a wonderful human being and I know that quite well. So, the next time someone tries to manipulate me into feeling like a piece of dirt...I will give them the biggest "BWAHAHAHAHA!" that I can come up with.

Have a nice life...freakoid.

Meg

Dear Meg,

"...I would not be in a relationship with a guy who thought he had the right to control my every action! Life is short, make your dreams a reality and do it YOUR way!"

"...My parents have been married for almost 40 years. They do spend A LOT of time together, but every so often one of them will take an excursion separately..."

"...The time apart should not be to get away from the other person, but to be on your own and do whatever you need to do..."

"...I can't even begin to tell you how insanely cool it is plane hopping solo in a different country.. You build soo much confidence and KNOW you CAN DO IT lol.. Who ever has travelled US solo will fully know what I am talking about :-)..."

I have traveled the United States alone already...been there, done that. But, I have never traveled overseas alone. I absolutely LOVE traveling alone. I love traveling WITH people too...but I've always wanted to go to Europe alone. The people who commented understand what I mean.

But, the freak who was so out of joint when I mentioned the idea honestly believes that I want to travel alone so that I can get laid. I can get laid anywhere, anytime. I don't need to go to Europe to do so.

The asshole actually said, "Go ahead, I don't care. You can fuck all the Euro-trash you want!" How insanely assinine! I can't believe I even let myself get involved with such a needy, jealous, controling asshole. He is so unbelievably...what the hell is the word? INSANE. That's it. Then, 5 minutes after he made that insulting, rude and all around idiotic comment, he said, "You arn't going to write about me on the blog are you?"

FUCK YEAH!!!

The same day that I mentioned the trip, I told my sister that I would buy tickets for her to come visit me. Then, after the European trip comment, he was actually upset that I would invite my sister to visit me without mentioning it to him first! Unbelievable.

I have NEVER been involved with a man who thought that he had the right to control me as much as this yahoo.

I've been traveling alone since I was 18. I went from Chicago to San Francisco that year and it took me weeks to get there. As a kid, I had the right to do these things and there was no one in the world who would have even tried to stop me. Now, here I am...48 years old...and some nit wit thinks that he can control me and every aspect of my life that he can get his grubby little mitts on.

Here I am, a full grown American woman...and there is another person who thinks that I can be pushed around like a 4 year old. My father stopped telling me what to do back in the 70's. Rick stopped telling me what to do in 2004. Now I'm all grown up and single...and there is a person who thinks that I have to be joined at the hip with him until the day I die. He thinks that I should ask him before I make plans with my family. He thinks that I should take him with me wherever the hell I go...or I don't go.

He was here one day when I was sleeping during the day. When I woke up, he had taken a bunch of phone messages for me. I never asked him to answer my phone, I sure the hell wouldn't have answered his phone. I let that go even though it bugged me. That was a mistake. He has slowly taken every inch that I've ever given him and stretched it out to about 6 miles.

Let that be a lesson...for ME!

A control freak doesn't get less controling as time goes by, they get MORE controling. And when someone does what I did...just let it go because I didn't want to argue...it just gets worse. He figured that if I didn't mind this thing or that thing...then surely I wouldn't mind his acquisition of my entire person...mind, body and soul. I can't think of more of a turn off than a total control freak.

I let a bunch of the stupid things that he did go because he has been so helpful to me. But, I never once said that he could own me in return for the help that he has given me. I appreciated all of the things that he did for me, but a favor can be totally blown if the person doing the favor rubs it in your face every chance he gets.

How dare I want to travel alone? After all, didn't he drive me to work when I needed a ride?

How dare I invite my sister to visit me? Didn't he help me out when I needed the yard cleaned?

How dare I spend a dime on myself? Didn't he loan me money when I needed it?

Every favor that he's ever done for me has been totally negated by the constant rubbing my nose in "all that he has done for me".

What he doesn't seem to grasp is that if he weren't around, I would have had other guys doing me favors. My entire adult life, men have been nice to me. Before I even met this guy men were helping me out. If he weren't in the picture, other men would have been. His mere presence keeps other guys away. So, has he really done all that much for me? He has made sure that I haven't had a moment to be alone so that I wouldn't have a chance to so much as SPEAK to another guy.

He keeps bringing up all that he's done but he seems to think that me and my life are nothing at all. I've given him my time, to the exclusion of other men. But, that's nothing to him...absolutely NOTHING!

Men have been kind to me for decades. Not counting the idiots that I married...men have all been so good to me that I've rarely wanted for much at all. And, I got by before this creep came along. Yet, he attributes everything that I've done to him and his assistance. How much can you appreciate a person who does you a favor when they TRY to make you feel like dirt for accepting the favor? I never, ever...not ONCE...said that I would be his slave in return for the things that he has done for me. But, he seems to think that I owe him my entire life.

So, he wants me to give up my dream of traveling alone because naturally, any woman who would do so is looking to get laid.

Well, any man who would say such a thing has nothing but contempt for me. He has absolutely NO respect for me. I don't even know why in the hell he wants me...obviously he thinks that I'm a tramp and an ungrateful bitch. But still, he wants to "talk". Talking to him is me sitting there listening to him tell me all he's done for me and how rotten I am. Well, I have nothing to talk about anymore. Another one bites the dust.

Meg

Meg,

"...I hope death isn't so scary if you lived your life with those qualities being decency and honour. I think we are all souls encased in matter, when this journey ends I like to believe there is a better one ahead..."

Yeah, I think there is another leg of the journey myself. I don't know what form it takes or how much of our soul we take with us as we travel...but I'm quite sure that there's more to it all than this walk around Planet Earth. I also think that honor and decency are signs that we are on a higher plane then we were before.

Yes, life is a journey and I don't have a clue where the end of mine will lead me...but I hope to go there with courage and a sense of fierce independence, strong moral fiber and an intense desire for adventure. My kids are grown and I have so much time in front of me, God willing, to do the things that I've always wanted to do...the way that I want to do them.

I try to be fair in all dealings with other fellow travelers and sometimes it's a joy. Other times, I look at my fellow travelers and I want to pluck their nose hairs...just to be a bitch.

One of the things that I have always wanted to do is to go to Europe alone. (I wouldn't mind taking my daughter, but other than her, this dream of mine has always been me, alone...walking down the streets of Paris, Rome, Prague...wherever my heart takes me, not saying a word to another soul...just minding my own business, thinking my own thoughts, and enjoying my own company.) Well, that dream of mine has offended a man whom I have been seeing lately. I mentioned to him that I was pricing trips to Europe and he became quite irrate. Apparently, I was supposed to either stay home or take him with...anything but me doing what I've always wanted to do. And then I was made to feel guilty that I wanted to do this wonderful thing that I've been dreaming of for so long.

After a while, I became a little angry...how dare he do this to my feelings? He doesn't have to appreciate my dream, he doesn't even have to approve of it. But I would love it if he cared enough about me to allow me to go and do what I want to do without making me feel afraid to anger him or making me feel guilty. Why would someone throw a guilt trip at another person just because they want to do something alone? We aren't Conjoined Twins. If I had to be a Conjoined Twin, I would have chosen a woman, preferably a deaf-mute, like Hellen Keller.

Even if this guy and I were married, I would expect the same respect. I CERTAINLY have no desire to stop him from doing the things that he wants to do. I even told him that when he mentioned going back into the service, knowing full well that he could end up overseas, that I understood his desire. I care enough for him and his dreams to understand that if he doesn't sign up soon, he'll loose his last chance to go into the service again. I care more about his feelings of living his dream than I would feel about my selfish feelings of wanting to go with him. Sure, I'd WANT to be there (or even have him NOT GO!) but that would be the ultimate act of selfishness.

I find it to be an extremely frightening notion that there are people who cannot be apart from each other for any length of time at all. Some would have their "loved" one so close that they are only seperated when somebody has to go to work or to the john. It's just not normal to NEVER BE APART! Many, many people live years and years in a happy relationship, going on vacation after vacation together. But every once in a while they go on there own little excursions and that's OK! The thought of having the same person in the room with you everywhere you go, everytime you go there and never, ever having them out of your site...until the DAY YOU DIE is a frightening thought indeed.

I can share my time, my life, my soul with another person and be happily in love, giddily awaiting the next time that I see him and somehow STILL go on my own little trips and live out my own little dreams...and be happy for the rest of my life. It would make me a more rounded, more interesting person for my man if I did. How boring to be a clone of your spouse, joined at the hip.

What do you guys think about seperate vacations...or just one of you feeling the need to experience something that you've wanted to do for decades? What about the person who doesn't allow that? I'd love to hear your comments.

Thanks!

Now, I'm off to bed again!

Ciao,

Meg

You know...

....I was just thinking about the lady that I spoke of the other day...the one who was dying and had the sweet husband who was sitting by her side.

The last time that I went into her room, I was trying to put a new vial of morphine in her PCA pump and the entire time that I was there, she was apologizing to her husband for putting him through so much. Isn't that sad? That lady was on her death bed and all she was worried about was her husband's feelings.

It was sad to listen to but so nice to see. Those two had married decades ago and there in that hospital room, they were doing exactly what they had vowed to do on the day of their wedding. They were loving each other, honoring each other...through sickness...until death. I don't know what they weathered that would be considered "richer" or for "better"...but they certainly did listen to the vows they took and they honored them.

When you drive down the street, you have no idea what's going on in the houses that you pass. People are living life in all it's facets and stages. They aren't anything other than regular people but they absolutely are living life and dealing with it as well as they can and that makes them amazing people. We won't read about them anywhere because they do so in such quiet reverence. But, when you are going through the best that life has to offer, remember that life has some downsides as well and thank God that you are able to enjoy the best of it. If you live it with honor and decency, when the time comes, someone will be at your side. And when you do drive down the street...look at the houses that you pass and remember the lady and her husband...people like them live in houses on every street that you will pass.

Meg

Hey!

You want to see a silly look on your spouses face? Ask him or her (with a straight face) if he or she wants to go caroling.

Oh, another question I ask when I want to evoke an odd look, (this one you have to ask at a hockey game) "Honey, how do they get that big piece of ice through the doors?" Every guy I've ever asked that of has explained the answer to me, thereby letting me know that they truly think I'm that stupid.

Even my father thinks I'm a bit foolish. I asked him, during a discussion about Pilgrims, "Isn't it a coincidence that they landed in a town with the same name of the town that they left from?" He said, "They didn't KNOW it was Plymouth when they landed." Duh.

To me that's funny...but for it to be funny, you have to get that I'm asking a non-sense question. Not one person has grasped that, all of them have chosen instead to assume that I'm an idiot. You guys don't even know me and you probably knew that I was bright enough to know that they had a machine that makes the ice and that Plymouth Mass. was named after Plymouth England.

I asked a guy if he wanted to go caroling and he said, "Come again?" and thought that I was stupid because I didn't get the theatrical reference that was his answer. You can't get annoyed at my igorance for not knowing the joke in your answer to MY JOKE OF A QUESTION...unless you got my joke first.

Now, I have to go to work. I got up this morning and realized that I hadn't shaved my legs in a very long time. So, I shaved them and then I went to get a mani-pedi. My feet are good now. And...my nails are lovely.

So, I'm off. That was fun.

Ciao,

Meg

Well...

....I've woken up in the middle of the night again and here I am...watching TV in the dark. That was freaky. I found The Others on and watched that...just to freak myself out a bit. Now, Pulp Fiction is on. I'm listening to that now...it has some really good music playing in the background. I did the Twist in my long johns...that was fun.

Now I have to clean up some more. Mostly because my father is headed up here to take a plane to Chicago for the Holidays. So, I have to clean up a tad. If my cousins are reading this, they may know what I mean. I think that my father's siblings would be as uptight as he is. I don't bother trying to get away with anything anymore...I just do what I know would make him happy. And what makes my father happy is a clean house. Whatever.

The house is a mess because I've been working and when I'm working, I don't feel like waiting on anyone, not even myself. So, I just sort of let it go until I'm off for a couple of days. And the past couple of days I've let it go pretty well. So, I'm sitting in a mess and I have until Christmas to clean it all up. The grandkids are coming this weekend so that'll make the mess messier. But, it will also engage my son so he'll have a bit of responsibility to clean the place up, too.

My son's birthday is the 4rth and I was thinking that since I bought him something good for his birthday, I should just get him clothes for Christmas. That's not really fair...is it? I didn't get clothes for Christmas no matter what I got for my birthday. But, my birthday's in June. And, I did just buy him an iPod. Then, he got two flat tires and I gave him the cash to buy new ones. So, I don't think that clothes are really a bad thing. And, he does need them. The problem is he wears a 32x34 and those are hard to find, for some reason. So, I rarely find more than one pair at a time. I'd like to just buy him a bunch of pants and be done with it, but I can't. I hate shoppin.

I should learn to enjoy it some...now that I have a few bucks in the bank. But I still hate it. I'd rather save it up and go to Europe next spring. I think I'm gonna do that.

Well, I'm going to post this before it dissappears. And if I think of anything scintillating...I'll be back. You're welcome to offer suggestions regarding something scintillatiting. I don't know if I spelled that properly, but it's the best I can do right now.

I have to get a new puter and then I'll have a word processor that would work.

Meg

Yikes!

I've miscounted my cousins! I gave my Aunt Karen a kid she didn't ask for or give birth to. Sorry about that, I could have sworn there was one more kid in that branch of the tree! Well, nuts. No wonder I wasn't sure if it was a boy or a girl. Well, there are a shitload of us...I'm glad that I don't have to worry about buying Christmas presents for all of the grandchildren my grandmother had. I guess that's why we got 2 bucks for Christmas.

I had to mention that right away so I didn't look like the worst cousin in the world...and so that my aunt didn't star looking around for a missing rugrat.

What I wanted to talk about this morning was a comment that I got:

"...I should trust my inner voice. It's never failed me in the past, yet I still find myself questioning it somehow. A woman's intuition is stronger than we give it credit for sometimes..."

Yes, it truly is. I don't mean to sound cliche when I say to trust your feelings...I mean it quite literally. We learn so much as we go through life and when we do, the things we learn come out in different ways. One way is that nagging voice that speaks to us and tells us that something we're doing isn't quite right.

I used to go around asking friends for validation when I felt like someone slighted me in one way or another. Then, I finally learned that I didn't need to ask for anyone else's opinion...I just needed to trust my own. I think that we all feel the need to confirm our own feelings from time to time and then we go to our friends and sound things off of them. But, if we need to figure out how to navigate our own way through life, we can usually just do what we already know is right.

Did you ever find yourself saying something like this, "My spouse made me feel stupid last night...do you think I was right to feel that way?" Well, you FELT that way...so you didn't need to ask the question. If someone made you feel badly...then they made you feel badly! You already know how bad you feel...why do you need to ask for someone else's permission to be angry about that? So you don't need to ask anyone else what you should do, you just go to the person who made you feel like that and tell them how they made you feel. They deserve a chance to make it up to you and to learn from what they did. And you deserve to be made better.

I hate to talk about "feelings" like that because it seems so Morris Albert...but the fact is that your feelings are something that you entrust to another person when you're in a relationship and they need to know how to take good care of them. So, you should really try letting people know how you feel.

I went into work last night and I worked on the oncology unit. I had one lady who was not going to be around for very long. She was very sick and had lost her hair. She was on a morphine drip and she held onto to that button all night long, trying to get some relief from the pain. She was so pathetic yet she was so lucky that I actually felt a bit envious of her. Her husband sat by her bedside the entire time, just carressing her face and petting her bald head. He called her what Rick used to call me, "Honeybuns." Corny, yes. But she had a husband who adored her and did all that he could to make her feel better. He sat there so helplessly, just watching his wife suffer and I sat there watching her die and I was envious of her! She has something that I don't have and I felt badly that I felt like that...but that's how I felt. And, like I always say, feelings aren't good or bad, they just are.

I have to work on that and I will. I don't need to envy a dying lady...I can go out and find someone who would love me like that. I thought that I already had.

Meg

Damn it...

...I did it again. I had the entire post done, all that was left was to write the word "Meg" at the bottom and I would have been ready to go to sleep. But the computer fucked up and I lost it all.

I was talking about trusting someone again and I guess I basically said that if you have any doubts, you should trust yourself and respect the doubts. There have to be reasons that you have them. If you aren't generally considered to be an unreasonable person, you can pretty much trust yourself when you have nagging doubts about the person that you're with.

When the time is right, you'll know. I guess it's a bitch taking a chance, but with the right person, you can be happy again. I'm sure. I've seen plenty of old people who didn't cheat, but they stayed with their first spouse until they died and afterwards they fell in love again. They know what it's like to be married and they know that they can be faithful so when it's the right time, they simply fall in love with another person with whom they can be happy.

As much as it sucks to be cheated on, how would you like to be the cheater? How would anyone ever know that you could be trusted? You don't even know that about yourself. Yeah, they all lie to their family's and their mistresses and they say hideous things about the person that they cheated on...but they know the truth. And the truth is there's never a justification for cheating. There just isn't.

Only a coward would start a new life without the balls to finish the old life with some degree of decency. My father was right, Rick is a coward. But I'm doing fine, I'm learning to take care of myself. Things are just fine right now with a few minor exceptions...but Rick is still a cheat. He is still a dishonest man who will never, ever know that he can be faithful. No matter how old a cheater gets to be, they can never know that they can be honest with another person. That must blow.

I don't know if I will ever have a relationship like the one that I had with Rick but I do know that I dont ever want another relationship like the one that I had with Rick. Whatever the hell that bullshit was, I'm just glad that it's over. I knew better. I honestly did. I actually remember saying to myself, "That's OK, you'll learn to live like he lives." I actually married someone that I knew was totally different than the people that I grew up around. He was white trash and I knew it. He just proved to me something that I already knew. So, from now on I will listen to any nagging doubts that I may have. It'll be a cold day in hell before I ever ignore my little voice again.

Meg

Well, that's what I get for answering the phone. Worked called me and said that one of the hospitals that I work at was in "dire need" of nurses tonight so I'm going in from 11 to 7...just to be sweet. So, off I am to work a quick 8 hour shift. I'll be back in the morning. Have a good night!

A betrayed wife...

...now has her husband back. He's there right now doing everything he can to prove how sorry he is. He is doing all of the things that he should have done before he strayed outside of the marriage. He's acting like the perfect husband. The wife wonders:

He tells me he is trying? Is he?
He tells me he loves me. Does he?
He tells me he will never do this again. Will he?

Is he trying? Yes, he really, really is. Does he love her? Yeah, he probably does. Will he do it again? You betcha. Next chance he gets.

There are two types of people in this world, honest people and dishonest people. Those who can live with the guilt of what they've done and those who cannot. There are people who would never, under any circumstances...cheat on their spouses. And there are those who would. They are absolutely sorry when they get caught. And they absolutely do everything that they can to make it up to you. They can even be very good for years and years on end. But there will come a time, when you least expect it and don't see it coming that he (or she) will grab a roll in the hay because the opportunity presents itself at precisely the right time.

Then, when you do catch them, they can easily blame it on you because over the past few years, you haven't been perfect. So now they'll dig up every stupid little mistake that you've made and throw it in your face as the reason that they strayed. It's YOUR fault...not theirs. A lifetime is a long time if you're lucky and you can't count on a cheater to stay honest for an entire lifetime if they couldn't stick out 10 or 20 years without stepping outsides the boundary of the marriage.

Rick was always sorry when he cheated. So very sorry. I knew he meant it. I knew that he truly was sorry. But that didn't change anything when he ran into someone else he wanted to screw at just the right time in our marriage. If she had come along two years before, he might not have done it. If she had come along two years later, he might not have done it. But the timing was just what it needed to be and he was the weak, dishonest coward that he has always been.

Should that make you sad? Should it make you feel like giving up? Hell no. It should make you glad that he's someone else's problem and that he will have to live the rest of his life with the knowledge that he gave away the love of his life because he couldn't stick out the marriage in good times and in bad. You still have a chance to find someone who will grow old with you. Don't stick with some loser who will probably only quit cheating when he suffers a paralysing stroke. And, you look like a heel if you leave him then.

Just get out now while he looks bad and you'll be golden.

Meg

Knowing that my aunts...

...and their kids are all reading this, I wonder how sedate I should be? I could watch my mouth...I tend to get a tad foul at times. But then if I did that, I wouldn't be me, so fuck it.

When I told my father that I had heard from another one of his sister's kids he said, "You hear more from my family than I do!" Well, if they're his family...and if he really IS my father...then they're MY family too. And I have been really, really pleased to hear from a couple of cousins whom I haven't seen since the 70's. Somehow they've turned from the little brats I remember itno full grown adults. Married ladies and attorneys. What do you know.

Well, my kids have done the same things since then and for the most part, I didn't even have any kids the last time I saw these folks. We really do go a long time in between family visits.

There are some people who anchor a family together. My grandmothers were those kind of people. So was my mother. They all anchored different parts of my family, but there were anchors. Now there don't seem to be any. My siblings and I have gone to the level of never being in the same state without a funeral. I guess when 6 adults all live in different states, life doesn't let you all get together very often. I know where they are and I could call them at any time, I could even visit them. But chances are really good that the next time that we will all be together will be my father's funeral. And, if I don't see all of his neices and nephews there, I may never see them again. Isn't that sort of sad?

Maybe one of us will get all organized and have one of those "The Descendants of Tom Joad" parties. That'd be cool. So...who's game for that? I would even be the one to do it. Yeah!

The more I think about it, the more I see that it IS my responsibility! I am obviously the OLD cousin, I'm certainly the "OLDEST sister" (as my bothers and sisters constantly introduce me, "Here's Margaret...she's the OLDEST."). One thing the anchors all had in common was that they were all old. So...being old myself, I guess I should act more like an anchor. So, hey...any cousins out there...would you like to come visit me to discuss having a huge Descendants of Lorraine Crombie parties...or we could even go so far as to have the Wilsons...but there's a slew of those and they just had a party last year. Grandma had 7 kids and my dad had 6. If I remember correctly, your mom had 5...as did the McFarland's...crap, that's 16 right there not counting spouses and children. I don't happen to have a spouse right now...but perhaps we could rectify that before then.

The way familes dissipate as they get further down the cousins line...it's a wonder more of us don't marry family. I wonder if we have been doing that at all? It would explain the nuts on Jerry Springer.

My grandfather used to take a Sunday drive after church and you would never know where he'd end up. I went with him one Sunday and he drove to a house out in the country. It was my eigth cousin. We figured that out when we were there. My great-great grandfather was a doctor out in the mountains and he had two sons. One of them was my great-grandfather. The other was the great-grandfather of the family who lived in the house then. It was really neat...they had the "parlor" set up like it was when the old man had the doctor's office in the front room of his home. I did one of my houses like that when I lived in an old, old house. I got the idea from them. I did it in antique office. It was pretty cool. Anyway, there's no way I would have known that I was related to these folks if I had met them anywhere else.

I'm glad that I've heard from my cousins. Long lost as they have been. I remember these little ones visiting us and I remember visiting them when their father was stationed at an army base. Other than that, I just know them from pictures sent at Christmas time. But we have a lot in common and I'm glad that I've heard from them. I hope that I get to see them soon. They were raised by the people who grew up with my father. There aren't that many of those. They have some stories to tell about my grandmother and so do I. There aren't any people on the world who know the same people that we do and that makes us special to each other. So, I really hope I get to see them sometime.

Well, the coffee just finished perking and I have a doctor's appointment later today so I need to go find out what time that thing is...I don't know if it's at 8 or at 3...I totally forgot. But I won't be gone for long.

See ya,

Meg

Meg,

I remember when we visited you in Chicago when we were all "happy families". I am Steven, Karen's son. Your dad is my God Father, and I am a lot like him in many ways.
Odd, though, I am a divorce lawyer and Mom and my sister Lori were talking about your blog yesterday.

Well how about that? I'm hearing from cousins that I haven't seen since they were little munckins and now they're old enough to be attorneys! Damn, I must be quite the old kid...I remember these cousins as youngins.

Anyone like my father would be a formidable opponent...I bet you're a great lawyer. I bet your Mom is proud of you...of all of her kids. I've heard nothing but good stuff about "Karen's kids". I saw a baby announcement at my father's once and the baby had been given Broderick as a middle name. My father thought it was a great idea. I had to remind him that I started that little fad when I named my oldest William Broderick. I wanted to name him after my father but I didn't like the name Alfred. I know it's a family name but I just didn't like the sound of William Alfred so I went with William Broderick. If I had know that none of my brothers were going to be reproducing...I would have used it as his first name instead of his middle name.

My father was the only son in his family to reproduce and when he had 3 boys...I'm sure he thought he had ensured the Broderick name would be carried on. But, unless my youngest brother gets busy soon, there won't be any Brodericks from our grandfather's family and the Broderick name will be carried on in middle names alone.

My father once said that he thought he would have 20 grandchildren by now. My sister, Lori, and I are the only kids out of 6 (not counting my sister who died as an infant) to have any children and we each have 3. So, my father is barely averaging one grandchild per kid.

My father called me as I was writing that sentence and is telling me about his upcoming trip to The Abbey, a lovely resort up in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. He is taking his lady friend, or whatever it is you call his ex-wife that lives with him. She went to the doctor and heard that she may need to go on dialysis within 3 months so they are going to try to have fun while they can.

I hope they do.

Anyway, I'm done speaking to him now and my daughter called as we were saying goodbye. I guess it's not in the cards for me to write this post right now. I'll try again later.

Meg

I need a new computer...

...and badly. I got booted again yesterday after writing a bunch of crap. Then, I was so tired that I had to go to bed. I actually sleep on the couch so every so often when I wake up, I look around and see who's there. It's usually just my son but every so often he has someone else over and it creeps me out.

Last night I woke up for a little while, heard that the Bears won a close one and then I fell back to sleep. Then I woke up again when some cable channel was showing old Star Trek episodes so that was fun. Then I feel asleep again. This time I woke up long enough to stay awake until there was coffee available so I may just stay up for a while now.

I have to go Christmas shopping and that's no fun for me. I'd rather just shop online but I can't do that...it takes a lot out of the season. I guess I really don't mind shopping that much. Not if it's for other people, I don't mind that. It's more fun spending money on other people than it is on myself. I hate spending money on certain things that I have to have, like bras and purses. I hate paying money for bras and purses.

I'll use the same damn purse until it wears out or the zipper breaks. And bras...I just hate the fact that I have to spend a lot of money to get a good one. I didn't even know how bad the cheap ones were until I bought one at Victoria's Secret. Now I won't wear anything else. And there's nothing cheap at Victoria's Secret so I have to spend at least 30 bucks for a bra that I probably won't be showing off to anyone else.

But that's OK, today I'm going shopping for other people. And none too soon...I had no idea Christmas was so close...just a week away! I worked so much that it was Thanksgiving and then, all of a sudden, it's Christmas. I wish I were still a kid. Then someone else could worry about Christmas and buying presents. Paying the bills takes all of the magic out of the season.

Yep, I need a new computer...this one is losing the letters off of the keyboard. My "N" and "H" are totally gone and half of the rest of the letters are pretty much missing. I have a complete P, Q, Z, X and K...that's it. If I see a really nice computer when I go Christmas shopping, I might very well buy that instead of continuing to shop. That's what I want, but there isn't anyone in my life who likes me enough to buy me one of those so I'll have to get it for myself. Hell, I doubt that I'll even get those ruby earrings that Rick owed me.

You know what else I want? I want a DVD player that I could watch all by myself. That's so cool...I want one of them. It sort of reminds me of when I was a kid and got a Show and Tell for Chritsmas. I loved watching the Peter Pan slides on that thing. It had a record player on top of a screen and you listened to the record and watched the slide show on the screen. It was like I was in a world all my own when I watched that stupid thing. If I had a DVD player all my own, I could do that again. I could just lie on the floor and watch my Lord of the Rings movies and go to Middle Earth for a while. Those things are dangerously cheap...I could buy one easily and not miss that cash...but I can't make a habit out of such stuff or I'll go broke quickly.

There's enough money in my savings account to buy round trip tickets to Europe and that's another dangerous thing. I could easily get in a crazy mood and just go buy them one day. Then I'd have to just go the rest of the way and rent hotel rooms and a car...before you know it, I'll be headed to Paris all because I had a wild hair one morning. I'm just the fool to do something like that.

I have no business doing such things right now but it is fun to think about. Right now I have to concentrate on getting my license back so that I can drive to the grocery store. Then, I can worry about Paris. And the next time I go to Paris, I want to go either alone or with my daughter. I've always wanted to go alone and I've always wanted to go with her...I hope to do one of those things next year. She can't come visit me until after the Golden Globes and she doesn't really have time for me to visit her before the awards either. She is working at the place that hosts them and she has a lot to do with the planning of the entire dinner side of the show so she said she would be too busy from now til after the awards show. I want so badly to go with her. That's be so cool...if she doesn't grab some steady beau...I just might!

OK then, I think I'll go suck some more coffee, then I'll pretend that Christmas is a week away and go shop til I drop.

See ya!

Meg

Well...

...I'm as tired as I can be and it's still morning. This month surely did sneak up on me. I forgot when the surgery is and I've waited too long to get the cheap tickets to Tampa. I have GOT to get my driver's license back...and then a car would be nice.

I have been so busy that I haven't even gone to court for a ticket that I couldn't pay for last year. Now I have the money, I just can't seem to wake my ass up in time to get to court by 8:30 which is what I have to do. The lady at the clerk's office said that I need to come to court at 8:30 one morning between Monday and Thursday...prepared to pay the ticket in full. Then she said that she had no idea how much it would be. So, I guess I have to take a LOT of cash to ocurt with me.

Then, I have to pay 2 re-instatement fees and I haven't a clue how much that would cost. I had my license suspended twice. I don't know why they bothered. I guess with 2 suspensions...you really, REALLY can't drive. Crap, it will probably cost me more in fines than I want to spend on a car. Of course, as cheap as I am...I don't want to spend much on a car at all.

I'd love to buy a 1972 Chevy Impala. I paid $600.00 for one of those once. I would gladly pay 3 times that if If I could find one that ran. But, now they're considered "antiques" or classics so they cost a lot of money. I was looking in the paper for a while and saw a few but the cheapest one that I saw was 2 grand. Oh well, I'll find something.

I know that most people would consider that car a hoopty or some such piece of shit...but I love them. I need to feel protected somewhat should I get into an accident and those Battle-Star Galacticars are great for that. I hate driving in small cars...even really nice small cars.

When I was a teenager, my father would occasionally drive me and my brother to school in a '73 Volkswagon and for some reason, I always had to sit in the back. I would get all claustiphobic back there. I could have gone into a full blown panic attack if I hadn't been too afraid that my father would have smacked the hell out of me. Not that he WOULD have smacked me...I just had that healthy respect for my father that kids had back then.

I used to hear it said that people were divided into 2 groups, those who remember JFK being shot and those who don't. Well, it seems as though too much time has passed and that we need to come up with another dividing line...something a bit later. I'd rather it didn't have anything to do with OJ Simpson or Muslims. Can you guys think of one?

We need to figure out when parents stopped being allowed to spank their kids so that I could have one group of kids who did get spanked and the latest group who didn't get spanked. Is there anyone out there under 30 who got spanked? I'm trying to figure out how old the spankees are right now so that I could figure out what event to use to divide the people up.

I started writing this post yesterday but the computer went nuts so I couldn't sign back on to finish it. Today is Sunday and I just finished a 4 day stretch at work...or should I say a 4 NIGHT stretch. I know to pwople who work Monday through Friday, 4 days doesn't seem like much, but when it's 4 twelve hour shifts that are actually 14 hour shifts...it does make you a bit tired. I had worked over 40 hours before I went in to work Friday night so that means that I worked the last two shifts for overtime. When I realized that I would have a lot of overtime for both weeks in the pay period, I decided to take my father's advice and go to Personnel to change my deductions. I changed them to 5 for the rest of the year. I need every dime that I can get my hands on. I have no clue how long I'll be out of work.

OK, I did just get back from work so I'm really tired. I know I've been neglecting you guys lately but I'm off for the next 4 days and I'm going to make it up to you...I promise!

Meg

10 minutes later-Aw heck...I don't have to work tonight, I can write some more. So, now I'm going to pee and then I'll come back and write something else. Don't go too far.

OH MY GOD!!!!


Some insane adulteress has gone and blogged about her hideous, freakish behavior! I am absolutely stunned! As I think of words to describe the author of the following post, all that comes to mind is freaking INSANE! I had heard about this whack-job earlier but I was about to begin a work week so I decide to check it out today while I was putting the links up there. I had abso-fucking-lutely no CLUE how INSANE this woman is!

You guys are not gonna believe this....here, you have to see it for yourself (although you can't get the full effect unless you see the picture of the trashy, bad dye job, over made-up sleaze bag that she so proudly displays right smack on the blog, you couldn't avoid it if you wanted to!).

Of course, I shall interject a comment here or there:

I have taken down my last post as it was causing too many dramas. (The BLOG caused drama? Didn't you cut your teeth on fucking married men?)
God you people need to get a life or just go watch some reality TV or something. (Or what? Or you'll DESTROY their life?)
Ramblin' Rose - The nasty comments I have received have all been anonymous, except for one that I now realise was posted using the "other" button (My name is MEG KELSO)
(didn't have your picture) (notice the lack of an obtrusive picture of me with neon red hair)
with the name "ramblin' rose" and with a link to your blog. It does appear from my statcounter that the IP was Exetel NSW, and you appear to be coming in on a Telstra IP, so I don't know? (What the hell are you? The muscle for the local cathouse?)
Someone causing trouble. (As opposed to the calm, live and let live life that you lead? ARGH )
God only knows how many are involved in this fucking mess now. (Why? Have you begun fucking another married man?)
Obviously I have a copy of it, but I don't wish to have a copy of it here on this post because it's very upsetting and I don't really want to see it every time I come in here. (No, you'd rather see your own puss, like The Wicked Stepmother staring into the mirror)
It called me delusional, a "double adulterer" as I'm still married (we do have to wait 12 months after separation until divorce), (But you're STILL married you nit wit! You ARE a double adulterer! You fricking ARE! And...I think you're frickin' delusional as well!)
a piece of work not fit to be a mother and that I should be "jailed" for my crimes, amongst other things. (Hell, I'd lock you up for stupidity alone.)
Thank you for the offer of emailing with you Ramblin' Rose, but I have no wish to have email contact with any of her readers/supporters. (No, you just want to obsess about her and make a TOTAL and COMPLETE JACK-ASS out of yourself over her!)
I have also been accused of reading her blog and leaving nasty anonymous comments, which I can guarantee I haven't and her statcounter will reflect this. (A man cheated on his wife with you? Oh my GOD! He SOOOOO deserves what he gets with you!)
Late last night someone posted a comment suggesting that "he" was suicidal and that "he" and I should do the planet a favour and do a "joint suicide" so that Kate can move on. (Are you still here?)
That really worried me. (Next time, fuck a married plastic surgeon, he can botox your wrinkles.)
I think I might take another little blog break. (Headed back to MarriedMen.com?)
I hope you are all having fun. (Actually, I'm a little ill.)
Cos I'm certainly not, and I'm sure it's not doing their marriage or their states of mind any good either. (WHY...just give me one good reason....WHY are you even mentioning another woman's marriage?)
This shouldn't be what blogging is about. (Oh...but it is EXACTLY what blogging is about you psycho slut. Read the article in the Atlanta Journal Constitution about blogs, mine is included in the article...this is most assuredly a BLOG.)

You are the single stupidest person that I have run into in months. Maybe even years. I'm quite sure you're the trashiest person I've come across since I ran out of gas in Buford Georgia. I cannot believe that a man with a triple digit IQ lied to his wife about the likes of you. And it sickens me to think that a wife actually cried over a joke like you. She should be laughing her ass off at the nut that he cheated with. I don't have to even know the wife to know that chances are astronomical that one man found two such hideously low creatures in one lifetime. Whoever she is, she'd have to be better than you. There just aren't that many of you. Thank God in His infinite mercy.

What a complete and utter joke you are. And, I hate people who spell 'cause' COS.

That bitch gave me the shivering willies.

Hi ya'll!

How's it going? Recently I had a problem with the blog and I had to replace the template with my back-up template and I lost a bunch of my links when I did that. There's a bunch of you who's blog I'd like to visit or list on my links and I can't do that because I didn't remember all of them. I have collected a bunch that I do remember and I'm going to add them when I have a half an hour to do that. Ah hell, I'll just do it when I'm done here. I'd just keep putting it off and off. I'm the world's worst procrastinator. I think I mentioned that I did a research paper the night before it was due...6 weeks after it was assigned. And, somehow I got a C on the stupid thing. I didn't know what the hell I was doing then and I still get ibid and op cit mixed up. So, I'll just type in the links that I do remember now...and if you have ever sent me your blog, or if you just want to, send it to me in the comments. I won't post it if you don't want me to.

A recent commentator mentioned that she sends my posts to her boyfriend when I make a point that she can relate to. I wanted to write a post for her to send to her boyfriend...but how would I know whether or not she would relate to it? I might write something for her and she could just wrinkle her brow in confusion. But, I had to take a chance. So, I'm going to write something for her and her boyfriend...and as I type this sentence, I have no clue what I'm about to say. Hhhhmmm....what to write? What to write?

What would this lady say to her boyfriend if she could?

How about this...Honey...first of all, let me thank you for reading this for me. I know it's not something that you would peruse at the check-out stand. So, I appreciate you for being the kind of guy who would even read this crazy chick's blog.

I know I can be a bit confusing at times but I'm not really trying to be. I know it seems as though I get angry over the strangest things and I respect your confusion. But if I FEEL slighted in some way by you, I will react. You may not understand where I'm coming from and that's OK. But try to respect the fact that my feelings were hurt and that's really all that matters. You don't have to apologize for whatever it was that you did or said that upset me...just let me know that you want me to feel better. That's all I really need anyway.

You know, feelings pretty much are what they are...they're not inherently good or bad...they just are. If my feelings are hurt, they're hurt. So whether I'm "right" or "wrong"...and whether you're to blame...it really doesn't matter. All the arguing in the world won't change what I'm feeling. And that's really important because so many arguments happen when one person feels hurt and the other person totally doesn't get it. People want to get defensive because they didn't mean to hurt anyone and anger gets all misguided and before you know it, more feelings are hurt.

And...I shouldn't forget this...as long as there are other females on the same planet as you and I...I will be jealous at times. So will you. When you're jealous, I KNOW there's nothing for you to be jealous about...please know that YOU may know that YOU'RE totally innocent in a certain situation, but consider the fact that you get jealous too. We might have different levels and tolerances, but we all know the feeling. It's not a good one. Help me out here when I need you to.

And, promise me that if I should ever make you feel badly, you will come to me and tell me how I made you feel, don't bitch at whatever it was that I did. If you promise to do that, I'll promise to listen and respect your feelings too. And if you need a hug, anywhere, anytime, anyplace...I've got a great big one for you.

You know what I would like? Making out. Making out is good. I love it when you kiss me.

You know, it's amazing how far a hug will go. And a kiss on the cheek out of nowhere. Take a moment out of a day and look at me...really, really look at me. Tell me what you see.

Let me know how you feel about me in ways that don't cost a dime. An unexpected phone call when you're busy...ten seconds just to say "I love you."

Have fun with me...that's what I'm here for. Let's drive 100 miles away for lunch. We could ask Santa for some Lincoln Logs for Christmas! How long has it been since you've looked for a 4 leaf clover? We need to play some more...in bed and out of it. Playing is fun. If you do it, it becomes a habit. Let's make it a habit to enjoy each other because I really do like you.

I would be remiss if I didn't address sex a tad more darling...I simply must say that all of the things that I've listed above will naturally roll over into the bedroom. And if you should feel the need to have a mistress, let her be me.

Now, I think you should call me.

Meg,

"...When he was about 12 he started doing some odd things, walking into furniture he knew he'd just passed, etc. the vet said he was getting senile...is that the same thing? They both sure sound the same (as far as a dog goes...it's not like you can ask them questions to determine the extent of their confusion..."

Yeah, they all mean the same thing. Since the 70's alone, I've heard it called so many different things that I couldn't remember them all. But they all mean the same thing. I've heard it called senile dementia (the old word for Alzheimer's), organic brain syndrome and altered mental status. The underlying disease process may be different, but the effects on the brain are pretty much the same. The brain does so many different things and one of them is to connect thoughts and to reason. When the part of the brain that does that is damaged in any animal, it isn't pretty.

It certainly is fascinating though. Like I said before, people who have spoken English for 80 years totally forget the entire language. They can't tell you what they had for lunch but they can describe how they heard about the death of FDR. The senses take in everything around them, but the input makes no sense. I would think that it would be the same with a dog...so he would be walking into things.

My dad's wife walked away and she never turned a corner. She had no clue what to do, no plan, nothing. She just walked and walked and walked. She can't tell you what she was thinking because her only knowledge of the entire incident is what you've told her...she can't remember it at all.

I never thought about animals getting the same thing but I should. My cat is getting pretty old and I'm just waiting for the day I find him sick or dead. He still jumps up to the platform where I have his food, out of the dog's reach. So, I figure he's OK for now. But he is getting up there. That cat has only been out of this house twice in his life. Once he got his balls hacked off and the other time he lost his front claws. He wouldn't leave this house if there were tuna cruising down the street. Damn...that's why I shouldn't have pets. They always die on me. Oh well, too late now, I have a houseful. I was actually thinking about getting another cat since McFly was so decrepid.

I'd love to see what my male dog would do with a kitten. I doubt he would eat one but you never know. He pretty much respects the cat but every so often he bolts after him and he ends up back in the crate. I don't know why he does that. So, I thought he might be funny with a cat who would scratch the hell out of him. That'd teach him.

OK, now I'm really going to bed.

See ya,

Meg

Is it me...

...or is Dear Abby an idiot? Her mother had the ability to read between the lines and she was an extremely perceptive woman. Well, so am I and I can tell you, she didn't pass that talent on to her daughter. I don't know why the younger Abby even has a column, what did she do to earn the stupid thing? I wonder if she has ever even been out there amongst the folk...she doesn't seem to have a great deal of insight into what people are thinking or feeling, in my opinion. A man wrote to say that his lady friend had developed a close relationship with a guy she told him was gay. This is part of the letter:

DEAR ABBY:

"...I am a 35-year-old man, deeply and madly in love with a 36-year-old woman who has two kids. I'll call her Whitney. We would both like our relationship to lead to marriage and more kids, but something -- or rather someone -- has put a damper on things. Whitney has been talking to this other man (who she thinks is gay) for quite some time. A few weeks ago, he finally asked her out...(at this point he goes into detail)...Does this look innocent to you? Can a gay man be attracted to a woman? And more important, can a woman be attracted to a gay man?..."

Then, "Abby" says:

"...Although you say you are not a controlling person, you appear to be insecure in your relationship with Whitney. For heaven's sake, your lady friend has not tried to hide anything from you. She has told you she talks to this man, and how often, and what she has and has not told him. Even if she had a ring on her finger, she has a right to spend time with whomever she wishes..."

Now...first of all, with or without a ring...this man has the right to say that he is uncomforatble with his woman spending time with another man. If she doesn't like it, she can leave. But he does have that right. I had the right to ask for a husband who didn't ogle other women when I was standing right there. He knew that. It didn't make me controlling, it made me uncomfortable when my husband gawked at other women when I was right next to him. Nothing more, nothing less. He didn't have to marry me and this chick doesn't have to date this guy...but if she IS going to date him and take his ass off of the market...she needs to put his feelings first occasionally.

I think I understand why a guy wouldn't want his wife spending time with a guy who has asked her out. And...judging from what I've seen on television, they have to worry about other females as well nowadays. Anyone who wants to have sex with your better half shouldn't be hanging around a whole helluva lot.

But, I think that's the LEAST of this guy's problems. I know what's going on here and it has nothing to do with homosexuality at all. Much was made of the fact that the chick TOLD the guy everything so she was being open and upfront. It all sounds like a total fabrication to me. This guy isn't any gayer than Blowjob Billy, our esteemed former president. The chick is taking semi-truths and manipulating the dickens out of this poor guy. He has no clue what he's in for here. This is the type of situation that ends up with someone saying, "What hit me?"

She's probably really, really good in the sack and therein lies your problem. The guy wants to protect his pussy and she is being pursued by another pussy wanter (male or female). And then, she can snow this guy with bullshit because she is so open. But what she's open with is her own version of what she says happened. She can tease the guy and make him jealous with stories of this other guy who shows an interest in her. And then, she can tell her boyfriend all about it...proving her "open and up-front" attitude while making him squirm with jealousy. And what can he say? She's being "honest" with him.

These are the kind of women who take husbands away from decent women and this is how they do it. The guy who wrote this letter is so smitten with her that he can't see past all of her "honesty".

Now, the bitch wants to be able to keep recieving all of this attention so she has to come up with some line to cover her trysts and she's chosen a good one...he's "gay". And it worked, the guy is buying it. On top of ALL of that...he's feeling guilty and writing to Dear Abby. And she's no damn help, she smacks the poor dude down saying:

"...So calm down and let this play out. The "one thing" he may be looking for may be friendship, and it's something that eventually you could offer him, too..."

So, it's not bad enough that he has to let the skank hang with the other guy, he has to offer HIS friendship as well. Is this woman nuts?

Abby! Are you daft?!?!

I think someone needs to start a "Get a New Dear Abby" campaign...and soon. America cannot be without a Dear Abby. But this one has got to go. Somebody needs to help the poor schmucks who have lost thier love, who hate thier step-mothers or who don't know how to hang a roll of toilet paper.

I gotta go to bed now...in the morning I'm having a bunch of things hacked off of my neck. They started growing there after I turned 40. There are about 3 of them. There used to be 4 of them but I accidentally scratched one off last week at work. I bled like a sonofabitch. They have to go. I don't know why they're growing there, but they have GOT to go. There are a bunch of stupid things that happen when you turn 40 that they don't tell you about. The things that grow off of you are one of them. Tomorrow mine will be gone so tonight I have to go to bed. I got called in to work for 4 hours tonight and I did it as a favor. After those killer 12 hour shifts that are really 14 or 15 hours...4 hours was a walk in the park. I went in, said hello to each of my patients, then got them their 9 O'clock meds and I charted. Then, after they all went to sleep, I picked up a chart to read and someone said, "I'm here for report." The night was over. I couldn't believe it. It felt like a half an hour.

Anyway, off to bed I go. See ya.

Meg