What do YOU do at 2 AM?

I take pictures...

...of my broken ankle:





I couldn't get it at the right angle so that you could get a better view of the deformity. You can see the swelling to some extent, but trust me, it's worse in real life. And I was right, looking at this makes it hurt more. I think I'll wrap that sucker back up now.

Hello!

I'm wide awake at 1:47 AM because I slept today again. There isn't much that I can do with a broken ankle. I'm not supposed to put any weight on it at all until I see the orthopedic guy but I don't have insurance anymore so I can't do that. Rick only had to pay for the insurance for 3 years so he stopped that a while back. The alimony will be going on for well over a year yet so that's cool.

I let a nit wit park a car in my carport last year. He said that he was going to work on it, get it ready and sell it. Well, over a year later that car was still parked in my carport. I pay the rent and I can't use the only parking spot that will allow me to walk into the house without getting rained on.

I've asked the guy to move it a few times. I asked him to at least park it in my second driveway but he wouldn't even do that. Having the broken down car at my house was bad enough, but having it take up my best parking spot is just too much. It had been there so long the tires had gone flat. Nothing says red neck like a broken down car with 4 flat tires right outside of your house. I was way more than decent about it. But you know how some people take decency and consider it weakness? I seem to attract more than my share of people who think that I won't ever stand up for myself.

That's a stupid move on the part of people who read my patience and kindness as a big "USE ME" sign stamped to my forehead. I shouldn't let things get so far so I'll own that much of the problem. But the bottom line is that if someone is blatantly disrespecting me in ways that I don't deserve to be disrespected, I will get sick of it sooner or later. The bad thing is that I go from easy-going to steadfastly demanding respect. I get to a point where a line is crossed. And I think it's blatantly disrespectful to leave that car at my house AND in my only decent parking spot.

Anyway, after all my requests to move the car were ignored, I mentioned it to someone who saw me trying to get from a car to the door on crutches. They immediately called the cops to see what could be done about the car in my carport. I would think that there would be some sort of responsibility on my part with that car on my property. It's not as though I needed any other reason, the inconsiderate nature of the guy who owns the car more than justified anything that had to be done so that I can park closer to my door. So, a person who cares enough about me to get that car moved for me did so.

And I will never do that guy another favor for as long as I live. I have a point, like most people do, where I just refuse to take any further disrespect. If someone is not a positive influence in your life, that's bad enough. But when they are a complete negative for an extended period of time, sooner or later, something's gotta give.

When friends of mine would tell me how awful their husbands are, I never tell them to leave the guy. It wouldn't work. Until someone is ready to leave on their own, they'll just go back again. Unless my friend is being abused, I won't tell her to leave her husband or her boyfriend. Like me, they'll know when they've given all they had. Then, when they do walk away, it's with a resolve and confidence that allows them to be free of guilt.

Then, when the sucking nature of a negative relationship stops sucking the life out of you, it's time to breathe deeply and say...AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.

And now, when it rains or when I have groceries to carry in, I have a carport to keep me dry and very close to the door. Cool beans.

My birthday bumper sticker

That was attached to a gift that was a tad too risque to post. Even I have standards. :)

You may be aware that today is the last day of the fish thing. So, this is the last time that I'll bother you with it. But, with it being the last day, I need your help more than ever because I know that it can be done. If I were in 15,003rd place, I wouldn't bother. But I'm way up there out of well over 30 thousand people. I know that there are enough of you out there to actually do this for me.

I still don't know how it works, but it has something to do with the number of web sites that you visit. Most of them are personal blogs but most also have some sort of ads if they aren't web sites for one company alone. You don't have to spend a dime to help, all you have to do is visit a few sites quickly.

The prize is a trip of some sort and I want you guys to have a reason to do this. I'm quite sure that I can bring someone along to the Villa they're giving away. I WILL take someone who I don't know one little bit. All anyone has to do to qualify is visit at least one site. Then, copy the url and email it to me at megkelsobroderick@gmail.com. Don't send it yet because it will only matter if I were to win.

If I were to actually win this trip, I would announce it on my blog and then the first person to comment or email me with that url is the one that goes with me. That's the best and most equitable way that I can come up with to do it.

If you can think of something better, let me know. In the meantime, go out there and win that trip for me and for one of you!!!!

I don't see what you see when I sign on so I don't know what to tell you to do. So, just do whatever it says to do and then do it again. If you have an option to give me a "power boost" or a rainbow, do that. If not, just visit a few sites. Some of them are pretty entertaining so it's really not that tough to do.

Thanks again and for what should be the last time, before you read today's post, visit Dolly at this link, she really needs your help:

http://www.playballoonacy.com/show/81682315a650ad611eec1c2b8fd02730

Here I sit so broken boned...

...by the klutziness that I have honed. It's tough to get comfortable but I dare not take another pain pill. The last one knocked me out for hours and hours. At some point yesterday, my sister brought me a lovely dish of food. Her friend made a great big Sunday dinner and she knew that I would probably burn my hair off if I tried to cook so I got a bit of everything.

At the hospital they gave me something IV for the pain. I slept that one off for the first part of the day. When I woke up, I hobbled around just a little and it started to hurt again so I took ONE FRICKING PAIN PILL and it knocked me out until 5 AM. The only reason that I knew it was AM was that it was dark outside. It felt more like 5 PM but in Georgia, I don't think it's ever light at 5 AM. As soon as I woke up I had to jump out of bed and wash my face because I woke up in a dish of rice pudding. With raisins.

My sister left the food next to me on the bed and at some point, I must have been looking for a man because the food was on the half of the bed that I rarely have to straighten out. No one ever visits that side of the bed. Well, almost never.

When I first opened my eyes I thought, "What's that?". "That" was a covered dish with a ham dinner on it. Only after I processed that thought did I begin to perceive the feeling of something wet and icky on my cheek. That wet and icky stuff was rice pudding. I had moved around enough to get the wrap off of the pudding and to get it all over the right side of my head. THAT'S when I woke up quickly and hobbled to get the rice and raisins off of my face, my hair and my bed. All in that order.

Then, I couldn't just sit down, I had to do the normal stuff that I do every morning. I had to make the coffee, feed the dog, the cats and the fish. I had to get dressed, wash my face and brush a couple parts of me before I could sit down. I can sum it all up in one word....OUCH!

I can't even look at my foot because it's deformed. It's so deformed that it would hurt too much to look at. I got a glimpse of it in the hospital and I haven't looked again. I don't even know if you can see it through to bandage and I'll never know because I am not going to look.

I saw the x-ray...that was bad enough. It convinced me that I was going to listen to the docs who told me not to put ANY weight on that foot at all. So, everything I do takes a lot longer than it usually does. Hell, it takes at least 5 minutes to flip a light switch because I have to get to it and then go back to where I started.OK, this part if all 100% my opinion:

I received this comment on a post that I wrote about my murderous cousin, Paul Mergel:

I've known Maryann Mergel for 20some odd years! She was one of my mothers best friends....Maryann would NEVER just go on some trip, or move away from her grandchildren!! They were her life, thats the only reason she moved to Georgia in the first place! She was murdered! Wake up and open your eyes people....there is a serious pattern here and the police need to dig deeper, it's not just about forgery or guns!! She was murdered and her grandchildren need to know who cared for them through thick and thin cause it certainly wasn't their mom or dad!!!!!

Mary Mergel is my aunt a my cousins and I want to see to it that the bastard frys for killing our her. I'll BRB, I'm going to post a picture of him again. I have to go find it.

By the way...

...a quickie here...I found a blog that I don't know quite what to make of it. It was so foreign to me but I had some odd urge to continue reading it. I thought that if you guys had a moment, you might find it interesting, mystifying and even addictive without knowing why you have become hooked. So, do be cautious, but do take a gander at this blog:

http://elliewants.blogspot.com/

I also posted it on my link list so it'll always be here for you.

:):):)

I'm trying to figure out a strategy with the fish thing. What I really need from you guys is for you to click on the link and go to a few web sites. If you're felling particularly froggy...jump all over them.

I was trying to think of some fair and easily verifiable way to choose a reader who has helped me out to take with on the prize vacation. They give you a villa so I'm sure that I could have at least one person and why not let you guys have a stake in it as well? After all, you're earning the miles the same as I am...I couldn't do it without you!

OK, I'm gonna go elevate my broken ankle.

See ya!

Oh, and as always, thank you all. And I KNOW that we can do it. If any of you can come up with some way to fairly choose a reader to accompany me on this great vacation, let me know. That'd be so cool. If you would want to try, let me know in a comment. I don't necessarily have to publish it so say anything that you think might word.

Now, onward soldiers...click those sites with rainbows and boost thingies. Thanks, you're hot! (That was my Paris Hilton impersonation.)

As always...here's the link!

http://www.playballoonacy.com/show/81682315a650ad611eec1c2b8fd02730

I'm going to elevate my ankle and try to make the pain go away. As I leave, I'm in 404th place. I'd love to wake up to find that I'm in 300 something...or dare I say...200! Thanks again and I'm gonna go baby me.

:):):)

Well...

...I'm home. I was having a lovely evening until about midnight. I was saying thank you to a friend of mine for the gift he gave me and when I turned around to walk back to my date, I walked down ONE step and my ankle gave out. It is now broken, (Happy Birthday to me!) and I can't walk without crutches. I spent my night in the emergency room and now I have to go to an orthopedic guy it have it casted.

Other than that, I had a marvelous time!

Now I need those fish things more than ever!

Meg

We're in the home stretch!

http://www.playballoonacy.com/show/81682315a650ad611eec1c2b8fd02730

Go below and hit home to read the rest of my sad little adventure last night.

:):):)

Oh, and naturally I didn't have a pedicure at the time.

My birthday apron...

...and now I shall take off my apron and go hither on a date. A little hint, I'm not enjoying HIM...but I WILL enjoy myself.

I'll explain that one tomorrow.

See ya!





Oh, click the fish an extra time for me tonight! I want to win!!!!!

Thanks a lot you guys.

Good morning!

I had my party last night and considering everything, I'm pretty impressed that I'm awake enough to write this. I don't even have a hangover although I don't know why. I got a LOT of presents but no one got me a pool cue. They all said the same thing, "I was going to buy you a new stick but I thought that for SURE someone else would get you one."

Well, no one did. I left my last stick somewhere and I think I know where, but I didn't know it was missing for so long that by the time I noticed it, far too much time had passed to get it back. What do you expect, a pool stick is something that I only use when I'm playing pool and I always have a beer or 4 when I shoot pool so I was bound to lose it sooner or later.

All I wanted for my birthday (besides wanting to see all of my kids and my grandchidren) was a pool stick and to get my electric bill paid. That damn $500 bill is gonna take forever to catch up on. I'll just add a hundred bucks to the payment for the next 5 months. It's a good thing I wasn't already behind on that, I'd be typing on a keyboard that had no power hooked up to it right now.

For some reason, when it's your birthday, strangers send you drinks. I totally lost count after a few of them came to me. I had to start giving them away as party favors. My girlfriend roped off an entire section of her bar and had the party for me. I'm so glad that I didn't have it here, I would have had it tonight and that means that I would be running around cleaning and cooking appetizers right now instead of relaxing around the house. I have a date tonight too. I wouldn't have been able to go on that if I'd had the party tonight.

Three guys who I've dated came to the party last night. Luckily none of them showed up until I had enough to drink so that I didn't care if they ran into each other or not. Two of them wanted to act like they were my date for the evening and I had enough Jack Danial balls to tell them that I was going solo for my party. If one of them was my date, he would have wanted to take me home to give me a birthday roll in the hay but I wasn't at all in the mood for that. Besides, I wanted to dance with everyone and I did.

I'm not as sore as I thought I would be but I don't feel like mowing the lawn at all. If no little magic people show up today to mow it for me, I'll have to do it tomorrow myself. That's OK, I'd rather mow the lawn myself and sleep alone.

I got the cutest little apron for my birthday and I can't wait for a mess to clean so that I can wear it. I always wear aprons when I'm doing the dishes and my last apron lost a string so I haven't been able to use it for quite a while. I never thought of aprons as being cute, but this one is adorable. I've NEVER seen such a cute apron. Any other apron I ever wear now will be ugly compared to this one.

OK, somehow you guys have brought me up in the standings of that fish race thing. I'm only 700 miles away from the leader so it's not entirely out of the question for me to get up there. If you guys could just go to a few web sites on that thing each, I could do really, really well. Of course I doubt that I'll win, but who the hell knows? With friends like you guys, it could happen! So, help me out and make the others eat my dust!

http://www.playballoonacy.com/show/81682315a650ad611eec1c2b8fd02730

Is this racist...or does it depend on who said it?

'They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English. I can't even talk the way these people talk:

Why you ain't,
Where you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...
And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk.

And then I heard the father talk.

Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.

In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around.

The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal.

These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids. $500 sneakers for what??
And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics.

I am talking about these people who cry when their son is standing there in an orange suit.

Where were you when he was 2??

Where were you when he was 12??

Where were you when he was 18 and how come you didn't know that he had a pistol??

And where is the father?? Or who is his father?

People putting their clothes on backward: Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong?

People with their hats on backward, pants down around the crack, isn't that a sign of something?
Or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up?

Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles [piercing] going through her body?

What part of Africa did this come from??

We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa.

With names like Shaniqua, Taliqua and Mohammed and all of that crap, and all of them are in jail.

Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem.

We have got to take the neighborhood back.

People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now.

We have millionaire football players who cannot read.

We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs. Black folks have to do a better job. Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids, you are hurting us.

We have to start holding each other to a higher standard.

We cannot blame the white people any longer.'

-Dr. William Henry 'Bill' Cosby, Jr., Ed.D.

Remember my trip to NYC to try out for 'Millionaire'?

Hi hi!

I'm back and I'm exhausted and apparently, I'm NOT going to be a millionaire. I, along with 92 others, failed the stupid test. I was expecting questions like this one:

On your table you might find salt and _______ ?

But, instead, I got this:

Who on Bush's team dropped out of college to work for the Young Republicans Committee?

Oh well, they're coming to Tampa, I'll try again now that I know they aren't easy ass questions. I had no doubt that I would pass the test...have you seen some of those morons? Well, I'm dumber than they are and I didn't have a clue.

I read the first hard ass question and thought, "Well, I'll come back to that one." Then, I read the second question and thought the same thing. When I read the third question, I said "SHIT! I'm in trouble here!" Out of 100 people, only 7 passed the test and they were all weird looking old men with very long beards. Hell, I even cheated...but I was copying from another person just as stupid as I was. Oh well, I did get a Who Wants to be a Millionaire pencil and a refridgerator magnet for my trouble. But...I left the pencil in my hotel room.

My hotel room was another surprise...I was surprised it didn't crumble down around my ears while I was sleeping. In the morning after I showered, I went downstairs and asked the guy when the bus ran. He said, in a thick accent, "Every hour on the hour." It was 3 minutes after 9 so I went back to the room but when I got there, I did the math and decided that I should probably take a cab. So, I went back down to ask the clerk to turn the phone back on so that I could call a cab. When I did, he said, "Oh, if that's all, I call you cab." So, I let him.

He said that the cab would be there in "Five...maybe ten minutes." Twenty minutes later I went back in and he said, "I saw you were still there so I call them myself, they'll be here in three or four minutes."

Ten minutes later I noticed the motel shuttle. THAT was the bus he was talking about, I was asking about the real bus, not the motel shuttle, which, by the way, they should have told me about when I asked for a wake up call. Anyway, I was getting good and annoyed at this point. The accented guy called the cab again and now I'm beginning to realize that he was calling cousin Ishbob (or something like that). He called and acted like he was making a real phone call. Then he said, "One minute".

I said, "Call another company." He said, "Oh no, he be here." I said, "I don't believe them, call another cab and stop dicking me around!" I added that for the benefit of the freaks hanging out in the lobby who might have thought that I was a good target for pocket picking.

"But ma'am, he be here in one minute!" I repeated myself..."I DON'T BELIEVE HIM!" Three minutes later, a stretch limo pulled up and it occurred to me that I was gonna get hammered for that ride to the airport. I had to get there so I plunked my ass down in the back of the limo and thought about it...I didn't TOUCH a thing in there, I didn't turn the TV on or take a bottle of water from the bar...I didn't want to hear, "I charge you limo price, you use limo TV."

After a ten minute drive, we arrived at the airport. I had two twenties in my hand and if that clown said anything more than forty bucks, he was gonna get stiffed. Since the "cab driver" was 15 feet away from me, I had to get out of my ostentatious little ride and walk up to the passenger window and ask how much it was. He asked me, "Didn't he tell you?"

I said "No, he didn't tell me." So now I knew for sure that this guy was, indeed, cousin Ishbob. I think that he was about to say "Fifty dollars." but the look in my face made him rethink that idea. He said, "Twenty dollars." so I ripped one of the twenties out and tossed it in the limo with no tip and then I took off for the curbside check in where the stupidest man on the planet was checking people in. He took twenty minutes to check in the lady in front of me and then he checked me in. I had my seat assignment and I was just happy that I didn't get bumped. About then it occurred to me that it should be mandatory for everyone at the airport to get a Xanax one hour before they leave their house. I'm sure it would cut down on violent crime.

They tried to bump me on the way there but as I was standing at the gate counter, the computer opened up a seat and I got it...lucky for me...LOLOLOL.

My son said that if one thing went wrong, my plans were totally screwed. He was so right. But, unfortunately, every damn thing went just fine. I got there on time, I found the studio and I even found a hotel, such as it was...and there was even a room unoccupied by hookers so I got it.

There wasn't a remote control, the bedside table had dried coffee stains on it and the room smelled like stale cigarettes...but on the bright side...it only cost $130 for the night. Last weekend I checked myself into the Marriott for $99 a night.

Anyway, I boarded my flight and sat in between a fat man and a little girl. I tried to sleep but it wasn't going to happen so I just listened to XM radio all the way home. That was the high point of my trip...listening to the 70's station.

I got home in time to take a short nap and then got up and went to work and then I came home and here I am!

Also, I've decided to start dating again. I lost one dude last week and he was the only thing keeping me from dating so I'm ready to start again. And...I'm ready to tell you guys all about my escapades. And by God...I'm gonna have ESCAPADES!

Well, not right now...right now I'm exhausted. But soon!

Meggers


See why I need to win this dumb thing?

http://www.playballoonacy.com/show/81682315a650ad611eec1c2b8fd02730

OK...

...I'm going to ask you guys to keep going to that fish thing as much as you can today and over the weekend. As I've said, I don't know what you guys see but if you can see the web sites with stars, rainbows or seltzer water bottles, go to them. I THINK that's how I get them but I'm not sure. This race is close enough (by the numbers) that we should be able to surpass a bunch of people out there.

I guess it goes by computer so if you have a friend who wouldn't mind doing YOU a favor for ME...copy this link and send it to them. I'm bound and determined to do the best that I can. Don't forget about me when you go online at home! We can do this...I'm almost 50 and I can honestly say that I've never won anything good. With your help, I'll never be able to say that again!!!

Thanks, you guys are really helping poor Dolly out.

:):):)

http://www.playballoonacy.com/show/81682315a650ad611eec1c2b8fd0273

Do I believe it?

This is a story that my mother used to tell about a friend of hers named June. Imagine my surprise when I got it in an email:

Black Robbers

For anyone who didn't see David Letterman's take on this: (And it's a true story...)

On a recent weekend in Atlantic City , a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right back and we'll go to eat," she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator.

As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black.

One of them was tall...very tall...an intimidating figure. The woman froze. Her first thought was:

"These two are going to rob me." Her next thought was: "Don't be a bigot; they look like perfectly nice gentlemen." But racial stereotypes are powerful,and fear immobilized her. She stood and stared at the two men. She felt anxious, flustered and ashamed. She hoped they didn't read her mind but gosh, they had to know what she was thinking!!!

Her hesitation about joining them in the elevator was all too obvious now. Her face was flushed. She couldn't just stand there, so with a mighty effort of will she picked up one foot and stepped forward and followed with the other foot and was on the elevator. Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator doors as they closed. A second passed, and then another second, and then another.. Her fear increased! The elevator didn't move. Panic consumed her. "My God," she thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed! "Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore.

Then one of the men said, "Hit the floor." Instinct told her to do what they told her. The bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator floor. A shower of coins rained down on her. Take my money and spare me, she prayed. More seconds passed.

She heard one of the men say politely, "Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to, we'll push the button." The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh. The woman lifted her head and looked up at the two men.

They reached down to help her up.. Confused, she struggled to her feet. "When I told my friend here to hit the floor," said the average sized one, "I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am." He spoke genially. He bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not laughing. The woman thought: "My God,what a spectacle I've made of myself." She was too humiliated to speak.

She wanted to blurt out an apology, but words failed her. How do you apologize to two perfectly respectable gentlemen for behaving as though they were going to rob you? She didn't know what to say. The three of them gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled her bucket. When the elevator arrived at her floor they then insisted on walking her to her room. She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor. At her door they bid her a good evening. As she slipped into her room she could hear them roaring with laughter as they walked back to the elevator. The woman brushed herself off. She pulled herself together and went downstairs for dinner with her husband.

The next morning flowers were delivered to her room - a dozen roses. Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred dollar bill.

The card said: "Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years."

It was signed;

Eddie Murphy
Michael Jordan

Snopes.com says it's an urban legend. But, my mother used to tell this story years and years ago.

Oh, here's the link Balloon link, it's almost over so do your best to help me out...pretty please!

http://www.playballoonacy.com/show/81682315a650ad611eec1c2b8fd0273

You know...

...you guys surprised me with your answers to that little poll thing about executing people who have raped children. It's not that I didn't think that you all would have let them off scot free (or however you spell scott free), I just didn't realize that so many people would want to see them hang for it.

I never gave that specific question any thought because I just assumed that we only executed people for murder. And, I'm not at all saying that I disagree with the people who think we should fry child rapists...I just think I need to consider it some more. I purposely didn't give my opinion first because I didn't want to sway people who might answer the poll question a few posts down. Now I see that you guys are overwhelmingly in favor of keeping rape a capital crime.

Interesting.

I also found your comments interesting:

IMO, they have murdered who that child was before they were raped so they should get the death penalty

You're absolutely right. But then I would have to say that any rape would qualify because they ALL kill the person who would have been.

Although I think they deserve death, I do not want to give a rapist an incentive to kill the girl after raping her. If the price is the same then he has nothing to lose by killing her so she can't talk.

This is an excellent point.

My only exception to that would be someone who is "slow" (or whatever PC word you want to use) because I am not sure that they would fully understand the ramifications of their actions.

To that I have to say that I disagree. I don't have that type of sympathy for "slow" people. I guess the PC way to say it would be something like socially challenged. Some people won't like that term because they'll say that it's not specific enough nor does it address the "real problem" of the person we're discussing. Well, I chose it very carefully.

Think about it, if people can be vertically challenged, mentally challenged or emotionally challenged, a bunch of other challenges would come in. And I would think that only a socially challenged person would rape ANYONE...much less a child. And to let people off for such a crime because they're challenged in any way is an insult to challenged people everywhere. Most of them are as harmless as are most of us. Probably even more so.

When people say that they would only execute people for the most heinous of crimes, I think that's exactly what they meant. If a challenged person can commit such a heinous crime, then I say give them the same punishment that you would give any other person capable of doing such evil things.

On top of that, I think that this country defines "challenged" in too many ways. And...if you combine that with the way we honor victims of all sorts...even victims of a specific challenge, you might end up with far too many people under that umbrella. If any one of us thought about it for any length of time, I bet we could all come up with a good argument for why we are all victims of one sort or another. And if I had a few lobbyists and a good speechwriter in my pocket, I could make a helluva a victim out of spouses who have been cheated upon.

None of that really matters, I just don't think that a challenged person has earned any special dispensation when it comes to raping children or murdering classrooms full of them. I know that may not be politically correct, but when have you ever known me to be politically correct? Even if I tried to be totally PC, the rules change too often to keep up with them all.

A few years ago I published an article about the fact that a government in the Far East had asked it's citizens to "never retire". In that article I used the term Oriental. I was blown away when I received letters saying that Oriental is a now considered a derogatory term. I couldn't believe it, I was supposed to be saying Asian. Well that's just STUPID. I bet it wasn't an Oriental person who said that. Most of them are smart enough to know that Oriental simply means East while Occidental means West. If you're not smart enough to know what a word means, you have no business telling me that it's an offensive term. So, fuck the people who say Oriental is bad.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. My point when I digressed was that ALL people deserve the same punishment. Certain things shouldn't matter. An accident of birth certainly is something that shouldn't matter. People are born different in so many ways and none of them can control their skin color, their gender or their intelligence. But all of those things have been taken into account when deciding who should be executed for any one particular crime. You shouldn't let someone off the hook because he's a moron any more than you should let them off because they're a white female. It insults the rest of us and it doesn't matter to the dead or raped children. Would YOU feel better if the person who murdered you was a moron? I'd probably feel worse knowing that an idiot got the best of me.

If a moron is smart enough to get me into a situation where I am totally helpless, they're smart enough to fry for killing me.

And NONE of that should be taken to mean that I am PRO capital punishment...I am pro the equitable disbursement of justice. I waffle too much on that subject. It's a tough one for me and until I'm actually on a jury with the decision left up to me, I can continue waffling.

Now I have another question. This time I'm asking it AFTER I told you my own opinion and I don't want to sway your answer...if you agree with me, cool. But if you don't, that's cool too so don't let what I said influence your answer:

Do you think that we should consider intelligence when deciding who should receive the death penalty?
	Yes
	No
pollcode.com free polls

By the way, I may finally be figuring this race thing out. Could you guys really help me out in the stretch? I need for you to actually land on a web site. The boosts are helping, but apparently I need both of them. So if you could all go to the fish thing to the left there and land on a site, I would really appreciate it. This one is totally out of my control so there's nothing that I can do. But if you would all do that today, tomorrow and Sunday, I would consider it a great birthday present!

(Yeah, I know, it's bad to manipulate people like that, but what the heck...I'm desperate here.)

So, here's the link and a great big thank you!

Damn it...


...I'm still awake! I can't fall asleep when I'm not tired and I'm just not tired so I'm here. I knew that staying up so late last night would mess me up. I should never have done that, my sleep habits are bad enough.

Sleeping is like eating, I'll do it when I feel like doing it. In the meantime, I can try all I want to but I just can't sleep if I'm not tired anymore than I can eat when I'm not hungry. I considered going to the store for a bottle of wine but that's a lot of trouble to go to so I guess I'll just go back to staring at the ceiling.

A guy that I've only been out with once called earlier today and during our conversation, he said that "after we get to know each other better" we should consider moving in together. He said he usually spends his weeks out of town on work so I'd never see him. Yeah...right. I'm not giving up my alimony over any guy and I'm not making the mistake of bringing someone into my house. People tend to get comfortable and it gets hard to get them to leave when you don't want them around. His suggestion was so non-committal and not very serious but that's a mighty serious thing to me.

You know, I wouldn't even want to commit to seeing someone every weekend. As soon as you DO give up freedom for someone else, they begin to expect you to give it up all the time and one day you might want your freedom back. You might only want it long enough to do something for a day but if you've already given it up, it's hard to get it back.

That's why I don't like to see or speak to anyone on a daily basis. As soon as you want them to leave you alone for a day or two, they think you're taking a step backwards and they start to wonder what's wrong. There doesn't have to be anything wrong at all, I could just want to visit my father or my daughter for a few days. But if I've started seeing someone too often, that trip would be a sign of a problem. The problem with that is that I wouldn't even want to bother explaining that to anyone.

That's another thing that I can't stand, having to explain myself. The people who deserve an explanation shouldn't need it and the people who need one don't deserve it. So, if I find myself trying to justify something that I've done, I get annoyed at the person that I'm talking to and at myself. Don't you hate that? How old does a person need to be before they can just do what they want to do without anyone questioning them? I couldn't tell you, I haven't reached that age yet.

OMG! It just occurred to me that my sister will need a ride to work in the morning! Damn, damn, damn...she'll be calling me in a few hours so I have to go back to bed. YIKES!!!

That's OK, I'll go to bed in a minute. I still haven't figured out that Internet race thingie so I don't even know what to ask you to do. If you guys keep on giving me more power that should be fine. Whatever you guys are doing is keeping me in a decent position although unless you guys all multiplied like those little Gremlin dudes and then got your own keyboards, I may not win anything. You know, I don't even KNOW anyone who's ever won anything really good. And it's not like I haven't tried!

I went to NYC for a day to try out for Who Wants to be a Millionaire but that sucked. I went to The Price is Right in October and they didn't think that me and my homemade shirt were worthy of putting us up on stage with Drew Carey. I haven't bought lottery tickets in a while so I can't bitch about that.

Oh, the Supreme Court struck down a ruling that I didn't know existed. They made it impossible for a state to execute someone who raped a very young child. I didn't even know that was an option. Out of curiosity, what do you guys think?

Should someone who has raped a child under 12 be executed?
	Yes
	No
	Only under certain circumstances
pollcode.com free polls

Payton's hungry!!!

I hope he's happy now! I took him to McDonald's for a couple of cheeseburgers. This is why he goes nuts when he sees those "Golden Arches"!

Hello there!!!

I overslept big time today because I stayed up until 3:30 AM. I did that because I came home from playing pool at about one and then I wanted to stay awake long enough to watch Family Guy. So, I slept the first part of the day away instead of sleeping the third part of the day away. That puts me on a nasty sleep schedule. It may take me a week to get back to normal.

I absolutely do NOT understand that Internet Race thingie. I see that you guys are doing your part...enough of you gave me boosts of energy or whatever it is that you do. But I don't know what in the heck to do with it. THIS is STUPID. It says to go faster with the boosts but it never says how the hell to go. I wish you could see what I see. If anyone out there DOES know how to make this thing go, please tell me. I'm completely stumped.

Thank you guys for doing the thing, I appreciate it. I WILL figure this out. Very early this morning I pushed a button and it took me up to 300th place which isn't bad out of 30 thousand. But I have no clue what's going on so I'm flying, I'm just flying blind.

You know, on Sunday I turn 50. (Rick is ALREADY 50...LOLOLOLOL. He hates when I do that.) Anyway, at this point in life I don't know if the design of the site is messed up or if my brain is. I could be sitting here bitching about the site and the whole time I could be missing a great big button that says "GO!". I could be getting Alzheimer's but how would I know? There's no one here to tell me not to cook a shoe so what if I suddenly did something like that?

You know, apparently AARP sends you crap as soon as you turn 50. That's just not right. I don't want any AARP shit coming to my house. If I want the senior discount, I'll ask for it. No one needs to remind me that I'm getting old, I'm aware.

And do you know what old people do in the middle of the night? Well, we go through all of our coupons and take them to the grocery store. I did that last night. It's so peaceful in the grocery store at 2 AM. For some reason, there re a lot of pet food coupons out there so I'm getting a lot of dog food that I would never pay for. I hope Payton enjoys it because he'll go back to Alpo soon.

My sister didn't have to work today so I guess that's why I was able to get away with sleeping so late. She's probably sleeping all day too. Damn it, I have errands to run today so I need to shower again. That's every day this week and I haven't gotten dirty once. I don't know why the world requires these daily showers.

Oh! After I turn 50 I should probably be putting some handle-bars in the shower so that I don't fall in there. I would be looking around for someone to help and the only person around is usually a dog. Maybe I should look into getting one of those, "I've fallen and I can't get up" necklaces, ya think?

I suppose that I could just bathe but even that can be a tad dangerous at times. I was lying back in the tub one day last month when the cat suddenly slipped off of the side and into the water. It made me laugh for such a long time that I could barely breathe. Normal people don't want to just sit all alone in a bathtub laughing themselves silly. It's unseemly.

When I was a single mom going to college, I started getting mail addressed to The Parents Of: ME. That's the first time that I figured out that schools and other government agencies all sell your addresses to private businesses. I don't appreciate that. I don't call up rocket factories and give them NASA's number and the government shouldn't sell my address to AARP. Can you imagine the nerve of them? How dare they tell ANYONE that I'm turning 50...much less AARP people. That's rather presumptuous if you ask me.

OK, I wanted to thank you guys who are taking time out of your days to click on stupid shit for me. Keep doing it and I'll try to figure out how to make it work. If I could get to 300th place without really trying, I suppose it shouldn't be too touch to put effort into it. Thanks again and if anyone knows how to make this race thing work, let me know!

Here's the link for the race thing:

http://www.playballoonacy.com/show/81682315a650ad611eec1c2b8fd02730


BY THE WAY...this is an important piece of information should you be shopping at Best Buy:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/business/restock.asp

Let's see if this works...

Click on this and then choose boost this ballon:

http://www.playballoonacy.com/show/81682315a650ad611eec1c2b8fd02730

I'm STILL trying to figure it out.

The first Internet Balloon race has started...

...and I'm still not sure how it works. Could someone click on that thing and tell me what it has you do? I can't figure it out and I don't know if you see the same thing that I do.

I'd like to know what I'm sending people to before I start to do it.

Thanks,

Meg

This morning I'm a little giddy...

...so that news clipping was quite funny to me. Maybe it's because I can't feel too sorry for a Hooter's waitress who applies for a job as a man toy and then gets upset when the men play with her. Maybe it's because it really IS funny. What do you think ? Does this woman have a lawsuit? (And I don't mean attire for an attorney.)

I guess you would have had to have been there to know for sure. If all they said was, "You have a chance to win a toy Yoda!", she probably doesn't. If they went further to make the servers think they would win a car, then perhaps. I'm not an attorney so I don't know. But I come from a family full of attorneys so perhaps one of them will read this and let me know....Steve? Dad? TJ? It seems to me that the blindfolded walk into the parking lot made things worse.

Oh well. That chick does NOT look happy at all, does she? The fact that she even found a lawyer to take her case means that she probably does have a chance. I can't wait to see what how this one turns out.

My molly is huge pregnant again. I think I'll induce labor today by changing the water in the aquarium. That stupid molly has two groups of fish in there already and I think the older ones are most likely old enough to reproduce as well. I guess I'll find out when they blow up like this one does every month. Mollys get laid once and that one roll in the gravel keeps them getting pregnant over and over again for months. The last group that she had was the first group of which more than 2 survived. Actually, about 50 of them survived so I have a tankful of youngster's in there. She's ready to go again and she will, as soon as I change out some of the tank water. Then, I will be able to say that I have over 100 critters in my house.

Now, what to do with those suckers! Our local paper runs free ads if you advertise something for free. That's how I get rid of the scum suckers when they get too big for the tank. I advertise them for someone with a pond or a HUUUGE freshwater tank. It took a while for me to figure that one out, I had one scumsucker that got to be a foot long. I would ask people what to do with it and every guy I asked said, "Flush it down the toilet." Well, I couldn't do that.

I was ready to just take it to PetSmart and drop it stealthily in one of their tanks when my son told me about the newspaper so I started giving the fish away like that. But now I have SO many that I'd be lucky to find enough people to GIVE them to. If anyone out there want's a molly, come and get it. I won't give them ALL away at once, they're not going to end up as food for some other fish. The only way to ensure that without charging for them is to make people drive over here to get a couple or maybe even a few, but the ride wouldn't be worth it to someone who wanted enough to use them as feeder fish.

I could keep a bunch, but I'd have to have them fixed first and I don't know of any doctors who perform sterilization surgery on fish. I don't even know one that can perform surgery underwater and with a fish, that's pretty much what it would take. Ain't that a bitch? Fish get no surgery because they live in water. All of the anesthesia machines are for air breathers. I guess a crab or an octopus would have to create the underwater version of that machine...they have appendages that could be considered as close to opposable thumbs as you'll find on any animals.

In the meantime, the best that I can do is induce labor by shocking her into dropping those fish. She'll thank me for it tomorrow.

I wish I could figure out how to get the tank close enough to tape it for you. If I could film that bitch giving birth, it'd be pretty cool, wouldn't it? Well, they've finished eating so I can do it at any time now.

OK. My dog has gotten extremely verbal lately. I think he's figured out that he can get my attention instead of just waiting for me to do what he wants. It's like that dog had an epiphany and just started talking one day. It was cute for a day and a half and now its just annoying. He will sit there and softly say, "Ar ar ar arrrrrrr." If I respond correctly, he goes "AR AR AA AARRRR!" If I don't, he keeps on talking as though it will help. I bet he thinks the same thing I do..."You would think that after all this time she would KNOW that I want ice in my water!"

He wakes me up like that now. Every morning as soon as it gets light out, he wakes me up. He doesn't want anything, not even to go outside. The only thing that I can figure is that he doesn't want me to sleep anymore. He's a great alarm clock...if I need one at daybreak. When I need an alarm clock I usually need it earlier than that so he's pretty useless to me.

I have so much stuff to do today that I don't even want to get up from this desk. As soon as I do I need to jump in the shower and start my day which will end when I get done with my pool league tonight.

DAMN IT! I tried to set the clock on the fancy Cuisinart coffee-maker that my daughter gave me a couple of Christmas's ago. I did it wrong but while I was messing with it, somehow I set the carafe warmer to stop warming after the coffee is done. I can't have it kept warm for any length of time. I just don't know what I did and I don't know how to undo it. Drats.

I just convinced myself that I have nothing to write about and therefore I should let you go about your day. See ya after the birth! Oh, I AM going to TRY to move the credenza so that I can tape the birth. I might have that up here later.

See ya!

Today...

...at some point that balloon race is supposed to start. I don't know if it will or not but it's supposed to start today at lunch time. It was also supposed to start earlier today so I'm not sure what the problem is. I'm not sure how it works either.

I guess I'll just wait until it starts and see if anything happens. LOLOLOL, I don't know what the hell COULD happen, but you never know. If something happens, then I won't have to do anything. If nothing happens, that probably means that I have to do something and that would most likely involve you. Hopefully it won't be anything that we have to put effort into.

There's a song in the background going like this..."Sunshine lollipops and rainbows..." It's an upbeat little ditty.

Anyway, I guess it's lunchtime somewhere so perhaps the fish thing is working now. I don't know. Then you have the fact that I'm writing this at one time and you're all reading it at different times. So there are just too many variables to try to figure this one out.

Oh, you'll be happy to know that I have a large head. It took a large helmet to protect it while I was go-carting. I have pictures but the guy sent them zipped and I can't find them to post them on this stupid thing. I don't know where zipped stuff goes.

Damn it, my dog is barking outside. That means someone is here. If it's those Jehovah's Witnesses I'm not gonna answer the door. I end up talking for hours and I can't seem to get them out of here. Rick was good at that, he could make them go away but I end up converting rather than being rude.

I used to order stuff knowing that Rick would cancel the order when he got home. It was easier than trying to say no to some people. I would have a hard time refusing anyone who got their foot in the door. I'd join a cult rather than argue with them. I wouldn't be into it, I'd be one of those people who ran into the bushes when Jim Jones was conducting that mass suicide. I may cook for the cult leader but he'd have to shoot me in the ass because I'd turn tail and run before I drank poison Kool-Aid. I wouldn't care if it was a drill or not, I'm not dying for anyone that I didn't give birth to.

OK then, I'm going to go check my fish.

Good morning!

I had an interesting weekend. The house is a mess as it usually is after the kids spend time here but before I clean it up, I have got to tell you something. A friend of mine came by late last night while I was watching Family Guy. That can be annoying under the best of circumstances.

My friend walked in, sat on my couch and asked me if I had ever heard of "salvia". (At this point a bunch of you are saying "Uh oh!" and the rest of you are probably saying what I said.)

"Sure." I answered. "I've grown them in my garden."

"No." she responded. "Not the flowers, the herb."

Well, I've only heard of the flower salvia, not the herb so I told her that. She told me that it's something that is completely legal and it gives you a very short "buzz". That's what she said. She said, "It's perfectly safe, legal and only lasts for a few minutes and afterward you are perfectly fine."

Then she pulled the stuff out. It was in a small, thin brown bottle and it looked like large flakes of pepper. She told me that it was something like pot. Well, it's not. I've smoked pot...this was nothing at all like that.

I really didn't think anything at all would happen. How could a legal substance give you a buzz? I didn't believe that it would do a thing so when she asked me to try it, I thought to myself, "It's legal, it's safe and even if it does something, it'll only last for ten minutes and then it'll be fine." I had nothing left to do but go to bed so I decided to try the stuff.

Now, some of you live in one of the 8 states that have already criminalized this stuff. But most of you live in a place that has no law whatsoever against this "herb". It's legal in most of the countries on the planet and as I said, in all but 8 of the United States. The reasoning behind that is pretty logical...since the Internet has come out, apparently this stuff has been easy to get and has a become very popular. Ask your kids if they've heard of it, I hadn't. I don't know with whom it is so popular but it seems to be gaining in popularity and since the emergency rooms haven't mentioned any cases of salvia toxicity and the cops haven't reported any salvia related crimes, no on bothers criminalizing it.

I'm not sure how I feel about that. What happened to me was not a pleasant experience at all. It was also nothing at all like pot or booze, which is really all I've ever done except for a brief stint in the mid 80's when I dated a professional football player. Anyway, salvia is something totally different.

I never did any of the psychedelic type drugs. I was born a bit too late in the Baby Boom to be around while the kids were all doing the good acid in the 60's. I can safely say that I've never left my own world. For VERY close to 50 years, I have remained firmly footed to this planet. Salvia took me someplace that I've never been...a totally different dimension. I visited a place that I didn't know existed. In that world I am a wall.

I don't know how else to say it other than that, I became a wall. I didn't want to be a wall. I tried to leave the wall and find my body. It caught me so off guard that I tried quite hard to fight the feeling of being a wall because I didn't know how I had become a wall. I never considered the fact that the salvia had done it. It didn't last long at all and my friend was right, 10 minutes later I was fine.

I was sitting on the couch next to her and as I said, I didn't expect anything to happen at all. So, I stayed sitting up on the couch. When I was fighting being the wall, I was, on THIS planet, climbing on my friend. She was fine with it, I wasn't hurting her, I was just climbing on her.

When I regained my senses, I was absolutely stunned that this stuff was legal. It's not what happened to me that bothers me about that. I'm sure some people have a simply lovely trip when they do salvia. But, for the entire time I was a wall, I was 100% incapacitated. If someone started to strangle me, I wouldn't have been able to stop them until it was too late. I'll never let that happen to me again.

I read everything that I could find about the stuff and everything my friend said was true. It was legal and it was totally "safe" so far as the physiology of the herb is concerned. But what if I had been an outside wall? I could imagine jumping off of a balcony to stop being a wall. And what if some guy gave it to some young girl who hasn't learned enough about life to know that she needs to be alert at all times when she's away from her parents? I certainly wouldn't want to be on a date and try something like salvia. I would quickly become a dead wall.

I read about a young man who had become a desk and he panicked. His mother took him to the emergency room but by the time they got there, it was over and there's no test for the stuff and the kid had absolutely NO side effects whatsoever. There was nothing wrong with him. He had just spent about 5 minutes being a desk against his will. I can imagine how he must have felt I didn't like being an inanimate object one bit either.

If you have kids, you should be aware of that stuff. And if THAT's out there, what the hell else is out there that our kids can have it as easily as they can have a beer? What else is available on the Internet? I'm a big girl and salvia rendered me completely unable to defend myself. Neither beer nor pot has ever done that to me. Maybe it's because I haven't done anything at all in so long that I was extra sensitive to it. But I kinda doubt that's the case. I just think that there's a pretty dangerous drug out there that kids can purchase easily... And people are STILL going to jail over marijuana. This is one fucked up place.

Guess what?

I learned more things last night. I had fun, but I also paid a lot of attention while I was having that fun.

First, I went go-carting and THAT was a lot of fun. I started out trying to figure out how the go-cart handled and then I floored it and screeched around the corners and bounced off the walls, and other people. One guy hit me so hard that I chased him around the track until I got caught him and then I smacked the hell outta his ass. He didn't have to hit me. But once he did, I had to hit him.

I hit one driver pretty hard but I didn't know it was a chick. I felt pretty bad about that especially when she stopped in front of me and told the guy her head was spinning. But they pushed me out and I drove away. I think she was OK, she walked away.

The place that I went to is called Andretti's and it's up in Alpharetta, I think. It was a blast.

Later on the guy started telling me stories about past relationships. Now, that's never, ever a good idea. No possible good could ever come out of that sort of discussion, it could only serve to cause bad shit. And this guy caused a LOT of bad thoughts. I was just getting to like him and he started telling me those stories where he innocently ended up in trouble over something that someone else did to set him up.

If I took the entire date and just counted the part where he WASN'T talking about his past, it was great. If I count the part where he WAS talking about his past, he sounded like a complete liar. So, you do the math.

That's a shame because up until then he was doing just fine. If he would have told me the things that had happened to him only in a way that he took responsibility for them, I wouldn't have minded one bit. We all make mistakes and we all do really, really stupid things. But I like people who are far enough removed from those things that they can be honest about them. So, it wasn't what he said that bothered me...I can handle someone who's done dumb stuff. What I can't handle is someone who did a bunch of dumb stuff but blames it all on someone else.

At one point I said something like, "You don't really need to be telling me all of this." His response was, "Oh yes I do, it gets worse." I really, literally meant "You DON'T need to be telling me all of this." I guess he didn't get it so I shut up and listened to more of it. I was quite disappointed. So, except for the pile of bullshit, he's a great guy.

Did I ever tell you how much I despise a liar? Even if they lie in an innocuous way, I don't like them. That means that they still lie and probably do things that they HAVE to lie about. Crap. I would go into that one totally looking for lies and that's what I hated about my marriage. The lies oozed out of every aspect of my marriage so I certainly don't want to START in a relationship looking for lies.

I don't know why in the world people would do that. But there seem to be a lot of them that do.

Thank God for go-carts. Oh, and for Mario...the nice man who built the place in which I was able to drive like a maniac. I want to do that again.

:):):)

Good morning!!!

I'm tired and I want to go back to bed. But I have a date today and I have to be ready to do something fun. We were going to go out on the guy's boat, but it might rain today so we changed it to a Thai dinner and go-carting. He said that you have to have a driver's license to drive these go-carts. I don't think I've ever been go-carting so I'm not sure what he means when he says that these are the "big" ones. Whatever...it sounds like fun. And, I like Thai food.

See? This is why I like men. They do nice things like take you out and pay for everything. How could anyone dislike them? Of course, I'm not talking about lying men or wannabe's like my cyber stalker...I mean nice guys. There ARE some of them out there.

And if you find out that all they wanted was a piece of ass, you just say "No!" and go home. On a date situation, they have to pay before you have to tell them "No!" so it works out fine for me. If they end up being a really nice guy, then I can show my appreciation when and how it seems appropriate. But one way or another, I get to go out and have some fun. Cool beans.

You know how you want something but you don't want to do all the work that it takes to get what you want? That's the way I feel about men. I want one, but I don't want to have to shop for one. I just want a good one to knock on my door and say, "Honey...I'm home!!!!" Then I would say, "It's about time! What do you want for dinner?" Then, life would just go on from there.

This dating crap is too much work. And it never works out anyway. If I like them, they don't like me and if they like me, I don't like them.

I have a girlfriend who's ex is looking for a mail order bride. You know, American men shop for wives all over the world but there aren't any men from other places shopping for American women. Why do you suppose that is? It could be that American women are quite a handful or it could be that the women from other countries are trying to get to THIS country and we don't want to leave. But, if the right foreign dude came along, from a country with roads and electricity, I'd go to his place.

All men have stupid little habits that annoy me so that's where I'd have a tough time no matter where the guy came from. I dated a guy briefly but I couldn't stand it when he said, "Sweet!" to anything that he thought was a positive thing. I wouldn't mind it if he said it for really cool things like, "I won the lottery!"

Sweet!

But something like this...

"I finally found my wallet."

Sweet!

Or, "I bought myself a box of Popsicles"

Sweet!

...is just stupid.

That drove me nuts so I had to loose that one. He was a perfectly nice person and I really enjoyed his company. But if he was already driving me nuts with that constant "Sweet!", I can't imagine how insane he would make me after a year or so.

I learned my lesson when I married a man who said "Phildelthia". That was cute for a minute and a half...but after 20 years of it, it was just proof that I married a moron.

I haven't noticed any stupid stuff that this one does...yet. But I will be paying strict attention to his peccadilloes. I can live with some stupid stuff, after all, these are MEN we're talking about. But a blatant peccadillo that never stops could drive me to violence.

My ex ex used to stand with his hips pushed out forward, holding a blow dryer in his hand about a foot in front of his hips pointing the blow dryer up at his head. That was cool for about 8 months. After that it was just so damned STUPID that I knew I could never spend a lifetime with him unless he went bald.

Then there was the one who would always play the king of spades before the ace was played. He just didn't get it. If you play the king, it WILL get stepped on if the ace is still out there. I was so baffled by that stupidity that he had to go.

I had one who used his knife to push his peas on his fork. It's not like he only had 4 peas left, he ate ALL of the peas like that. If he would have just used a spoon, we might still be together.

Oh! There was one guy whose name was Bob. Whenever he ordered a drink, he would say, "I'll have a BOB! Bud Outova Bottle!" That was never cute.

So that's why I'm still single. Sooner or later they all drive me nuts. But, I can handle it long enough to go out for Thai and go-carting.

:):):)

This is too cute!

Singin' Dog!

I found this on SolarisGal 's blog:

You've Experienced 92% of Life

You have an amazing amount of life experience. In fact, you've seen and done more than most people. So congratulate yourself on what you've done so far. The future is only going to be more of the same!

How Much Life Experience Do You Have?

Yikes! What happens when I get to 100%?!

I LOVE COUPONS!!!

I just went through a bunch of my coupons so that I could go to the store for cat food. I found a bunch of coupons that were for things that I could use. Then, I only used the coupons for things that were on sale or two for one....or just plain free! I got all that stuff in the picture for $7.68. It's been the thrill of my week.

Buongiorno, journal and soup du jour...

...and how are you doing today?

I'm fine thank you. My house could use a good cleaning so I'm going to suck some more coffee and get to work. I can't expect anyone else to do it because now the mess is ALLLLLL mine. Most of what I have to do has to do with laundry and that's one of my worst things. I'd rather do dishes all day long than do laundry.

My best friend loves to do laundry. I wish she were here now, I'd let her have some serious fun. I have a bunch of stuff that needs to be dry-cleaned but the last time I dropped a few things off it ended up costing me very close to 40 bucks. That's insane. I keep the stuff that needs to be dry-cleaned in a mesh bag until I go to the cleaners. That stupid mesh bag is stretching more and more all the time. It'll be a hundred bucks by the time I take it in. I don't know what in the heck "dry-cleaning" is...but whatever it is, it must be dangerous because nothing else would justify charging so much.

Damn it, I just spaced. I caught myself staring off into space. I'm back now.

Ooh! I see raisins. BRB.

Mmh mmh good!

I'm looking around at the mess and it makes me think, "It's a nice day, maybe I should go for a ride with Payton. Maybe to the battlefield, maybe to the dog park." But then I think of coming home and finding the mess still here. That would annoy me so I guess I'll just go ahead and do it now. Crap.

Did I tell you that my nit wit ex has been calling me lately? I mentioned the time he thought that I was my sister. He called again last night and I answered the phone thusly:

"ARE YOU NUTS?!"

And then I immediately hung up. I can't believe this kook believes that he is in any position to counsel me regarding anything at all. If I didn't know better, I'd say that he had a lot of balls to be calling me.

Even IF his life wasn't a mess, an ex-husband has no place speaking to an ex-wife unless they've remained friends all along. Ever since Mark married the child, he hasn't been allowed to have a relationship with me that wasn't of a derogatory nature. I kept think that this chick would grow up but she's never had to so she's still just as immature as she ever was. And when your her age, immaturity comes out as being an asshole. Not to mention the fact that she's a drunk/addict...that alone would stop any mental or emotional growth. They deserve each other.

Since Mark hasn't spoken to me about anything positive in decades, he has no business whatsoever calling me to discuss any problems that he think's MIGHT exist. I heard his rant when he thought that I was my sister. If he believes everything he said, he's dumber than I thought.

Oh well, I guess he'll pay more attention to his own life someday...maybe in 30 or 40 years when he can't remember who the hell I am.

:)

OK then...

...I finally have the itinerary for the court show that I'm going to appear on:

Hi Meg,
The travel dates would be July 8-10. You would be staying at the Sheraton Downtown. You and ******* will be on different flights and a different hotel. I would just bring a little cash, clothes for court, and all evidence.

So, now I know when I'll be going although I don't have the flight numbers and time of departure yet.

When I do go, I'm pretty sure that they'll give us the air date so I'll give you guys that when I find out myself.

Good morning!

I have to run a few errands and then I'll be back. Since I don't have time to write anything now, I'll just rerun the very first post of this blog:

Rick is a selfish, lying cheat

There were many signs that my husband was cheating on me again but when he started brushing his teeth on a daily basis, I knew something was up. This bald man with no self esteem has never been able to tell a woman "No." Having seen some of his mistresses, I can't imagine what he would refuse. It is amazing how many women would want a man that would cheat on his wife. But if Elvis impersonators can get laid, I guess a bald man with a twisted penis can get lucky. His penis is not only twisted, the head is smaller than the shaft. It looks kind of like a pencil with a worn out eraser. They say that baldness is caused by increased levels of testosterone so I guess that explains this man's voracious appetite for sex. I once found him masturbating to an adult movie on a channel that we didn't get. He was getting off to the slanted, half silent, half moaning reception of some sex channel. Usually, I would find a man with such a sex drive appealing but I prefer quality over quantity. I once glanced at the alarm clock as I climbed into bed. It was 11:00. Rick then began to get "frisky". Foreplay, the act itself, the climax and the first snore all by 11:08. I swear on my children's life. I couldn't believe it. He had never taken so much time in his life. Now he is someone else's problem. I can't help but relish in the thought that one day, Rick will stop all this tooth-brushing and turn into his regular self for her. She will get to wonder how this man who used to brush his teeth can't seem to keep a pair of underwear free of skid marks for 12 hours. I have spoken to other men about this and it even grosses them out. When you gross out another man, you are, well, gross. I wish I could say he will challenge her with his mind but up until I pointed out his mistake, he was calling Pensacola "Pepsi-Cola" and Philadelphia "Philadelthia". At first I thought he was a quiet, mysterious man. I slowly realized that he was just a moron who had nothing to say. Perhaps she thinks she has latched on to a man who will pay her bills. She may think he has a good job and compared to other men who date trailer dwelling bimbos, I bet he does. But, this is the exact same job, title and position he had when I met him 23 years ago. I don't see him becoming CEO anytime soon. He did start working out again for his mid-life crisis so I guess his body will be something. Except of course, for the misshapen penis thing.

OK then, I'll be back soon with a regular post.

See ya!

Meg

Tracie, see if this helps

"My dog has some medical problems that she needs to take pills for. Only problem: she can smell them no matter what we mix them in. And, if by chance, she does take them--she pukes them up. My husband is beyond frustrated..."

First, this is how I give Payton his medicine:

And if she has a problem keeping the medicine down, have ice water ready for her and see if you can get her to drink some immediately. Of course, if she'll eat a cracker or a piece of bread right away, it would help as well. Try doing this before she eats so that if she does upchuck, there won't be so much of a mess.

Good luck and let me know if this helps at all.

:):):)

This is pathetic...

An Indiana man (I'm sorry, he's not a man, he's a fully developed male) named Steve Tyron robbed a little girl, Dominique Morefield.

Dominique needed a few bucks so she did what a lot of little girls do, she sold lemonade from her little lemonade stand. I did that when I was a little girl and it never occurred to me that anyone would steal my money. My only security was the lid of the baby food jar that I used to keep my money in.


But Dominique didn't have the luck that I had. She was held up at her stand. Her robber wasn't another kid from down the street, it was an adult. But, Dominique has something that Steve Tyron will never have. She has courage. that little girl chased the thief until he ducked into his house and then she called the police who came to her rescue. Tyron hid in his house, holding police at bay for 45 minutes. Not only is he a thief, but Steve Tyron is a yellow thief. The cowardly nit wit was surrounded by cops and he hid like a 3 year old.

But kudos to Dominique..she had the courage to hunt the crook down and she had enough brains to do the right thing. That little girl will have a great future, of that I'm sure. At 12 years old she already has more chutzpah, more brains and more motivation to earn her own money than the full grown Tyron will ever have.


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25211398/

I was going to...

...write something here last night but I couldn't think of anything to write about so I figured I would just do it in the morning. Well, it's morning. The only thing new is that I slept all night and then I woke up and fed the animals.

I have TOTALLY spoiled my dog when it comes to feeding him. I told you before that I made him kibble omelets...that turned into some sort of people food all the time. I mix it with the dog food. This morning I didn't feel like cooking eggs so I just stuck a TV dinner in the microwave and then I cut up the meat and dumped the entire thing in with the dog food. I mixed it up really, really well because I didn't want him to just eat the TV dinner and leave the dog food. I don't know HOW in the world he did it, but somehow he ate everything but the peas from the TV dinner. The bowl had a can of Alpo in it, a bunch of kibble and one turkey TV dinner all mixed together and he ate it all without eating the peas:




Amazing, isn't it? When you think about the fact that he did it without a fork, spoon or opposable thumbs, it's really perplexing. How do dogs do that? How do they eat all around the peas just using a dog mouth? I'm baffled.

That's why I can't put his medicine in the food. He would eat a huge bowl full of food and that one little pill would be sitting on the bottom of the bowl. And after the way he reacted to fleas last year, I don't take any chances anymore. I put everything that I can think of on him to keep him flea free. I even order those Capstar pills that kill every flea that bites him. Payton is one giant flea bait dog...any flea that jumps on him had better jump off without biting him or it's curtains for the flea. You would think that after a while, the fleas would start spreading the word..."Don't jump on that guy, Frankflea and Fredflea tried it and we NEVER saw them again!"

It's easy to give Payton his medicine, but the cats are a pain in the ass. I have to catch them and then wrap them like a papoose and then hold them like a football so that I can have both hands free to open their mouths, shove the pill in and then hold their mouth shut until they swallow it. At best, they're in such a hurry to get away that they scratch the heck out of my lap with their back claws. Declawing them just stops them from scratching the furniture, it does nothing to stop them from using their back claws when they jump off of me.

Did I tell you about my 500 dollar electric bill? Well, to be honest, it was $499 and change. It has NEVER been so high before. The worst it's ever been is a bit over 300 so I had no reason to think that using the AC would cost me so much. I didn't even keep it at 72 degrees...I wouldn't want to annoy the rest of the world by doing that so I had it at 75. THAT'S what cost me 500 bucks. I've turned the AC off and opened the windows and turned on all of the fans. I've been sleeping on the couch with the front door open. I can do that because no one can get close to my house without Payton barking like a maniac. He's the best burglar alarm that I could have.

So, if you drive down Polk Street in Marietta and see a house with the front door wide open, don't even THINK about coming near the door. Payton may be very sweet, but he is one intimidating canine. I've never seen anybody look at that huge dog when he's barking and come closer, people usually just back away and leave when they see him. When I traded a husband in for that dog, I truly got the good end of the deal.

This is what Payton does when he hears something...and all he heard was me knocking on the wall. He's STILL barking as I write this:

LOLOLOL, yep, I am one safe woman with that dog around here.

LOLOLOL...

...my idiot ex husband, not Rick but the moron Mark, just called my house. I don't know why he called but for some reason he thought that I was my sister. I played along with it and listened to him go on and on and on about some half true, half bullshit story from ions ago. Even if my sister HAD been here to answer the phone, she would have told him to fuck off because she's aware of his current mental status and his history of manipulation. I haven't seen that yahoo in over 20 years except for the night of my daughter's high school graduation back in the 90's. And I didn't speak to him then except to say hello.

I speak to my ex in-laws and between what they tell me and what the nut says when he calls me, I can tell that he's losing it. That's not my problem.

Anyway, I have an ex husband who, well over 20 years after our divorce, still can't stop calling me. So my cyber stalker dude is a walk in the park.

I've been working...

...on that stuff about Shillings for hours already today and for the moment, I'm bored with it so I'm going to take a break. I've been calling restaurants all morning. My ear is getting soggy from sweat and the phone is about to start dripping so screw that for now.

Last night I went to my pool league. The week before, I was the only person from my team who showed up. That week I learned that our team had been dissolved because the captain was stealing the dues that we paid every week instead of turning the cash over to the APA. So, most of us were listed as owing the APA a LOT of money. Personally, I "owe" them $90. I never played ONE TIME without paying my measly 7 dollar dues.

Our team is sponsored by the guy who owns our home bar. When the malfeasance was discovered, he decided to pay the APA all the money that was owed and they began another team. Last night was the first night that we played together. We are the only ALL GIRL team in our local league. One nice thing about playing with a bunch of girls is the fact that we all seriously just want to have fun!

We have a few good players and a couple of new players, New to the game of pool, not just new to the league. One of them is a 65 year old woman with lung cancer. Talk about someone seriously out to have fun! That woman is the most pleasant person I've met in a very long time. The fact that she's on our team at all should give you an idea of her chutzpah.

I had planned on inviting my team to my birthday party but the team disbanded so I mentioned it to my new team. One of them works at Faces and she works Saturday as does at least one other team member. I've known them for a long time. Dawn, the captain, said that I should have my party at Faces on Friday night and if I do, she'll make a nice buffet for me.

They also have music so I think I'll just do it like that. I won't have to prepare hors d'oeuvres and I won't have to clean up my house the next day (which would actually BE my birthday). My birthday is the 29th of this month which falls on a Sunday. The party will be the Friday before that, the 27th. Anyone out there who would like to come to my birthday party can just come on out to Faces on Power's Ferry Road in Marietta on Friday the 27th of this month. The more the merrier!

I would just LOVE to be surprised by the likes of Anne Arky, Limerick Gal and Emily! Of course, I love surprises so I'd like to see someone show up that I never would have expected to show up. Even JQ could come to my party if he brings a nice enough gift. Who knows? After about 17 shots, I might even attempt to dance with him.

I really, really want to keep writing but I have something that I have to take care of. Let me get that out of the way so that I can sit here and write without other stupid stuff to mess with my head.

OK.

Now I've gotten the information that I need. I'm trying to find a legal way for Reardon to tax his employees at 20% without having them fill out tax papers. This is what I've learned so far.

The 8% figure comes from the law that says a server needs to declare at least 8% of their total sales. They SHOULD declare 100% of their tips. BUT...the onus is on the server to declare their income because it is illegal for the restaurant to change the declared taxes that a server reports. The restaurant may have it's own policy regarding the declarations, but once again, from the IRS point of view, the onus is on the employee, not the owner of the restaurant. The owner will not be audited if there is a discrepancy, the server will be.

The only way that Reardon could legally tax his employees at 20% without tax paperwork is if he is not listing them as employees but rather as independent contractors. If that's what he is doing, he saves a LOT of money because he doesn't have to pay certain insurances or he can pay less in insurance and payroll taxes. He may not have to pay worker's comp at all. So, if he is doing that, he needs to give the employees a form at the end of the year to on which the "contractor" can declare tips and other income. There is NO law that allows a restaurant owner to tax employees at 20% of their total sales.

So, now I see why Reardon would do what he's been doing. There is a legal explanation, but it is not customary in this area and it serves to benefit him, not the servers. Now, I don't know if that's what Reardon is doing, but it is one explanation.

Of course, none of that justifies calling employees "fucking idiots". It doesn't explain away fanny pats and it doesn't explain why he threatens his employees with that stupid, "There are 100 people standing in line for your job so if you don't like it, get out."

OK then.

Damn it...

...I just heard from one of the servers at Shillings. they DID get a check with money on it, but the totals were like 13 bucks or 20 bucks. the 13 dollar check was for 30+ hours and the 20 dollar check was for over 60 hours. On top of that, most of the servers are STILL getting zero balance checks. But, the owner did have them fill out paperwork for the IRS, at least he covered his ass there.

I was told that there are people who have worked there for years who have never given Reardon a SSN, much less fill out the tax forms. I'm not going to leave this one alone until Reardon begins obeying the labor laws here in Georgia. And that includes the laws that say you cannot TOUCH employees in a derisive or sexual manner. Do you hear me HONEY?

Now I'll BRB again, there's someone at my door and I have to go hide before they peek in the window and see me here.