This is from Infidelity...

If you marry a moron and stay with him long enough, you get to know him quite well. In fact, you know him better than anybody on the planet. I knew my bum quite well. After well over 20 years there wasn't a soul on this planet that knew him as well as I did. One day I found his profile on a dating web-site. I knew he would go there, it was free. I also knew just what kind of woman he would like so I made up Sarah, a woman close to his age who loved horses and lived very near his hometown.

It took all of 24 hours for the asshole to send an e-mail to "Sarah". It's nice to know that he didn't leave me right when he learned the value of honesty, he’s still lying to women and I’m just glad that it’s not me this time. He told Sarah that he had been divorced for a year...news to me, the wife. He told Sarah that his “ex took everything”. Well, I didn’t TAKE anything, he left it all when he left me. Then he implied that I cheated on him. He didn’t have any specific accusations, he just implied it. He said that I stayed out at night...and the only time I did that was when I was doing stand up comedy and I BEGGED him to come watch me. I didn’t know that those evenings were his time to call his girlfriends.

So, he lied to Sarah big time but that’s OK, because Sarah lied like a rug herself. You’d think that he would start to get the message after a while, but he doesn’t. My e-affair with Rick is over...but here is the correspondence from our short-lived relationship, in the order that they took place, starting with his first email to Sarah without any corrections of the genius's grammar or spelling:

Hi, I really like your profile. I just moved her in june from back east to take care of my mother. I'm just getting settled in and looking for a friend to start and go from there. If your interested, write back.

Sarah's reply:Hi! I enjoyed getting your e-mail and look forward to learning more about you. Your profile says that you came here for your family, that's nice. How old are your kids? I am about to leave for a short vacation, but I will still be able to e-mail you. Maybe we will get to know each other really good before I get back. So, where did you move here from?Sarah

Hi Sarah, It was nice of you to respond. My Is Rick,my mother has COPD,it's a breathing disease.I don't know about good son it's just thr right thing for me and her.I was born in Helena and i grew up in the Great Falls area,I have 2 sons 27,23 they live in Virginia. I'm jealous (taking vacation),hope you enjoy yourself. So tell me a little more about self.Rick

And Sarah says:Rick, Nice to meet you! I am going to Idaho to visit my mother. She isn't doing too well either so I go to visit her once a month so it's not really a vacation per se, but I am actually taking my vacation this time to visit her and I will be there for a week. I'm leaving after work Friday, it's about a 5 hour drive. Virgina huh? I have never been but I've heard nice things about it. So, you are an electronic technician? Do you fix computers? I could use a person who knows about them! I have so many problems with mine. I was widowed 10 years ago and I remarried but it turned out to be a huge mistake and I got out of that one quickly. So, now I am just a single mom again. I moved here to get away from my ex, he is still in Idaho and I am hoping that he doesn't find out that I'm there when I go. Do you have MSN or something that we could chat on? How about a picture of yourself? I'd like to email you again but I hate going through this thing because I get a bunch of IM's when I come on. Would you like to chat with me?Sarah

So then:Sarah, It's nice to meet you. So how old are your kids? If you would like to email me direct it's ************,I know about those im's i hate them.I would love to chat with you,right now i use my dad's computer but i'm over there everyday and he has msn messenger and i also use my computer at work. My next purchase is going to be a computer,my ex got everything so i came up here with just some clothes but that's okay because i can always buy material things,just having piece of mind and being with my family is worth it. As soon as i can find a picture i will send you one.Well guess i better start working,talk to later.Rick

Sarah again:Rick,Could I get those services off of my computer? I have AOL.SarahMy helpful hubby says:Dear Sarah,Yes you can download any of them,I haven't used any of them so i don't know which one is the best,I know my stepmother has msn messenger. I've been divorced for one year and i figured it's time to meet someone to enjoy different things with. How long have you been divorced? Girls, I hear there pretty tough to raise, I kinda wished i had a girl but my boys were no picnic.It is a beautiful day isn't it, I went home for lunch and didn't want to come back.I came up from Atlanta,Ga I lived there about 10 years and before that New York and then Virginia, We moved there when i was 12. Well glad i have your email and will talk to you later.Rick

A grateful Sarah replies:One year? Oh what fun. What happened if you don't mind me asking? I have been divorced for 3 years, it was pretty bad. Like I said, I was widowed before and I lost all of my widow benefits by marrying a drunk. It didn't work because I don't drink. Well, I do, but maybe two or three tops but that's rare. What do you do for fun? I have pretty much kept up my camping skills. That's so nice, just being up in the mountains. I sit here looking at them all the time wishing I were up there. Well, maybe after I get back from Idaho. You can't dance? I hate dancing. I hope you don't want to ever go dancing.Sarah

And then he lied even more:It just seemed that i was the only one trying and kept getting accused of cheating for the last 5 years which i wasn't but isn't that what they all say but i feel it was the other way but i'm not sure but she did stay out very late alot of nights so i just could take it anymore. And no i don't think i will want to go dancing. I do love the outdoors but i haven't kept up on my camping skills so maybe you can help me out there.I just started working out again and i guess i just like the simple things but open for anything.Rick

Sweet Sarah:Dear Rick,Yes, the simple things are all I need. I'd love to take you camping. I work out, too. Where do you work out? I've been on both ends of the trust thing, where I wasn't trusted and where I had a hard time trusting. I don't know which is worse. I know what you mean waiting up all night. My husband would lie to me about where he was and I had a hard time trusting him because of that. Then he didn't trust me, but I think it was mostly his drinking. I'm glad you don't want to go dancing. So you're kids are grown? Will they be visiting you any time soon or will you go see them? I'm sure you must miss them. My brother-in-law is an electronics technician and he works on computers, but he is too far away to help me figure out how to work my webcam. Do you know anything about them? Also, when did you want to try to chat? I'm leaving late Friday night after work or early Saturday morning to go to Mother's, so Thursday night or Saturday night would be good for me. I'll be at Mother's all week until the first of October. Hopefully I'll get home Saturday and have Sunday off before I have to go back to work on Monday. Looking forward to chatting with you, hope to hear from you soon.Sarah

Hunky lying husband:Dear Sarah, I work out at the glacier gym,my boss knows the owner and it's close to work so i go right after work. Yeah I miss my kids but they have there own live going,you know how that is in your 20's,maybe next year i will go vist them.I would be happy to try to help you with your computer. So if we chat tonight what would be a good time? For me it would be after 7:30. Just let me know.Rick

And then she says:Rick, I started writing you an email and when I did, I accidentally hit something and it disappeared! I don't know if it went to you or if it just disappeared. I have been to Glacier Gym, wouldn't it be funny if we knew each other! I still don't know what you look like. Where do you work? I work at Peak Real Estate, I am going to take a course in Real Estate in about a month. I'm so excited about that. It does make me mad that if I had never married again I would still have my widow benefits. My first husband was in the Air Force. He was a pilot and he was killed in an excercise and I had enough benefits to where I would never have to work again. Oh well, we live and learn! I can be here at 7:30, if I'm late, I'll email you. I was going to use my daughter's name but she said that if I did, all of her friends would IM me so I am going to create another one when I get home. Then, I'll email you to let you know the name and I will make sure that you know I am gonna be there. OK, I have to get back to work, look forward to chatting tonight!Sarah

He warns her about his bald "spot" when in reality he has a small hairy spot:Well I'm 6'2" about 210 pounds have brown eyes,brown hair except on top where there's a bald spot as soon as i can find a picture i will email it to you. I work at ********* the only repair shop in town,when i moved here i just called them up and ask them if they were looking for experienced tech so that's how got the job, next month i will be starting a second job at ****************.I'm sorry to her about your husband i have alot of respect for pilots,I was in the Marine Corps and my brother-in-law is a 1st Lt in the Army,but sorry to her about your ex, we all make mistakes it's how we deal with them that matters. Well it sure is nice emailing you and looking forward to chatting with you, have a great day.



Shortly after that he finally looked at the time and realized that I was writing from the east coast and NOT Montana. He told me that he signed up on the service to find ME! He couldn't even try the truth when it was so fricking blatant!

Oh well, hope you enjoyed that!

Meg

For the 17,752nd time in my life...

...I've seen the sun rise on a new day. Although I'm not dreadfully thrilled about it, I prefer it to the alternative. And of course, as I do everyday before I come here, I've fed all of my animals.

Those creatures eat better than I do. Alpo has come out with a new flavor for the dogs, Top Sirloin. I didn't think that they could surpass the Filet Mignon, but I guess they felt they needed to. I remember when the poor little animals had to do with 3 flavors, cow, pig and chicken. Thank God my dogs live in an age where they are able to eat the top of the line products...by human standards, that is. How do those fools at Alpo know that the dogs like the same stuff we like? Have they ever tried boiled rat ears? Perhaps they LOVE that stuff and it would be a whole lot cheaper. Just because we think that's gross doesn't mean the animals will. I used to feed my lizard worms...so bat ears doesn't seem all that out of line.

They even have beef stew for the dogs and that's just silly. Once again, they use people veggies, like carrots and peas. The only vegetation I've ever seen a dog take to is grass and my marigolds. They don't seem to put that in the Alpo.

The cat food makes more sense, my cat likes fish. But I'm not sure that he only likes tuna and salmon...maybe he would prefer guppys and beta fish. Those are the only fish I ever saw the cat eyeball. Oh well, I'm just glad that nothing around here has a taste for Irish ladies.

I saw my friend at work last night. The stupid hickey has just about faded away so I couldn't show it to him and whine. So, I just whined.

Not really, we both thought it was funny. It wouldn't have been if anybody saw it, but nobody did so it was a non-issue. But what have we learned from this? No matter how good it feels, remain alert when a man begins to travel away from your face when he's kissing you.

My daughter called me yesterday to ask me for my lasagna recipe and that could only mean one thing, a new boyfriend. Everytime she meets a new guy, she makes him my lasagna. Actually it's my mother's recipe, but whatever, I hope this guy is deserving of that dish, it really is good and it takes almost a day to make. I hate being this far away from my daughter one way or another. Chicago was bad enough but you could drive there in a day and you can't get to LA nearly that quick. Someone told me the other day that one person driving takes 5 days. I bet I could do it quicker, but I'd probably get 4 speeding tickets before I got out of Mississippi and then I'd still have Texas to get through. Maybe it would take me 5 days...I'd drive north and take 80 all the way across just to avoid Barney Fife.

The only thing I'd have to worry about going that way is Reno. The last time I went there I married a guy I barely knew so I won't be stopping there. Weddings in that town are like Big Macs in any other town. Even if I wanted to get married, I wouldn't want to say that I was married twice in Reno. I can't imagine getting married again although I suppose it could happen. There's just a few things I have to do first. Some guy might try to stop me and I hate it when a guy tells me what to do, either right out or just by pouting. I feel as though I should be able to do anything I want to do without having to worry that some man wouldn't like it. I wouldn't want to do any insane or immoral, just fun.

If I did get married, it would have to be to a guy who would let me do crazy things whenever I wanted to like just take off for Paris without any notice because I found a great fare. They'd have to trust me and I haven't met too many men who would trust a woman to do that. Even just going out with friends...there are men who frown upon that. I don't know what makes a man think that a full grown woman in this day and age should be at all under his thumb, but a lot of them do. I know that there are women that act like that as well, but I don't date them so I can't address them.

I would trust a guy until he gave me a reason not to. I was worried that after Rick, I'd never be able to trust again. That's turned out to be the least of my problems. I was never a jealous person before Rick and I'm not one now so I guess he had something to do with the way I acted then. Him and all of his whores. In the few relationships that I've had since he left, I haven't felt the slightest tinge of jealousy and that's good. Actually, I do think there was one time, but that was because I felt lied to and apparently that's what brings on that crap.

Anyway, there's no marriage material on the horizon so I won't worry about it but it is good to THINK about stuff like that or you end up doing stupid things like marrying some guy you barely know in Reno.

Well, I'm going to see if I can fall asleep. I doubt it, I'm totally wired and I don't have to work tonight so I have no reason to worry about sleep. We'll see. I'll just stand up and see where I go.

Have a good day!

Meg

Meg...

"...You know why I enjoy reading your blog Meg, cos ya say it how it is LOL.. I agree with the short ugly man, yes I know i sound shallow and its not his fault he is short..."

No, it's not the guy's fault that he's short and ugly but it isn't our responsibility to make him feel any better about it so don't feel too shallow. There's got to be some women that like short ugly dudes, let them take care of that. I've done short and I've done ugly but I've never done both at the same time.

Now, you know that there are men out there that are as shallow as we must appear. They wouldn't do a chick who was overweight or ugly themselves so I don't feel guilty about saying this. The short ugly guys can always earn a fortune and then there are women who would go after them, just look at the Three Stooges...those yahoos had gorgeous women all around them and they were pretty damned goofy looking.

When I was younger, I didn't mind short guys but after 2 really bad relationships with short guys, I got turned off of them for good. It was as though they had to act all macho and violent to make up for being as short as they were. I called it "Short Man's Syndrome" and then I heard about the Napolean Complex...I thought that I had discovered that myself until I heard about that.

I don't mind overweight guys, not so overweight that they could be on Maury because they can't get out of a room without having a wall taken down...but John Goodman overweight. I prefer that a man have at least 100 pounds on me and I would wager that Goodman has 200 on me. And, he's tall enough to carry that well.

I did have to tell that guy that I shouldn't have given him my number and that made me feel pretty bad...until he started persisting that I go out with him. So, I not only gave my number to a short ugly dude, I gave it to a short ugly asshole.

Crap, I have to leave for work but I need to suck a few cups of coffee down first. Right now my son's mud coffee would probably do the trick. I overslept today and then I couldn't fall asleep to take a nap and now I have to work all night on no sleep. I'm going to go suck the coffee down now and I'll pop back in before I go to bed tomorrow morning.

See ya!

Meg

I just woke up...

...and my mind is a blank. I guess that's what happens when you sleep with the TV on. My mind is so blank that I don't even remember what I dreamt last night. I know I dreamt about something because I know that I did something in my sleep, like remembering kindergraten, I know I went, but my memories of it are vague. I think my mistake was lying there and stretching instead of getting right up out of bed. The news was on while I stretched and they were talking about the dead chick again.

I'm getting pretty sick of the crap, couldn't they just call to let us know when it's over? The other day they actually had a news alert that her body was being embalmed. I prefer the days when you only got news about celebrities if you bought the National Enquirer, otherwise you never heard anything about them unless they died or married Liz Taylor. Now the news has MADE their lives the news and that never was in the past.

Oh well. That's the least of my problems...I couldn't find the fork I usually use to feed the dogs so I picked up a short pronged fork and stuck it in the Alpo and dug in and then when I went to pull it out, I shot Alpo all over the kitchen. The fork may have been shorter, but it grabbbed a huge hunk of dog food and sprayed it everywhere. I hate doing housework before I drink my coffee but I hate having hunks of dog food hanging all over the kitchen cabinets more.

I made a mistake the night I went out drinking...I gave my number to someone and that was stupid. I should always pretend to be too drunk to rememeber my number once I've had a beer or two because my judgement is as blurry as the rest of my brain. I remember the guy I gave it to and I remember thinking that I shouldn't hold his looks against him. Apparently, I'm a much nicer woman drunk than I am sober because I don't do short ugly dudes, no matter how drunk I was when I met them. But, apparently, I do give them my number and that's a problem.

I hate having to tell someone the truth after I've done that. "I'm sorry, but if I was in my right mind, I wouldn't have ever given you my number." There's not much else to say unless you just put it off and have him call you back again and again. I hate dreading the phone, don't you? I'm gonna have to learn to forget my stupid number. That's all there is to that one. I feel badly about it, but I doubt anyone would want a pity date so I can't do anything for this guy.

Of course, I watch all of the City Condifential and American Justice shows so now I'm more afraid of being found all dismembered out in the North Georgia mountains. You sure do worry a lot more as you grow older. I guess you get smarter. When I think of some of the things I did as a teenager, I want to cringe. We hitch-hiked and met guys hanging out at all sorts of places. I even took a ride from a guy in the middle of the night in Phoenix once...about the dumbest thing that I've ever done. It turned out to be fine, but I cannot believe some of the things that I did as a kid.

If my daughter did some of the things that I did, I'd smack her down good. She's a smart girl but so was I when I was a kid and I never worried about Jack the Raper or anything like that. Of course, things have changed quite a bit but it still couldn't have been too bright of me to take off with strangers like I did.

Oh well. I have to work tonight so I'm going to clean the house a bit and then come back here to write some more before I take a nap. Have a good day and I'll see you soon!

Meg

Meg,

"...My husband also feels the need to laugh each and every time he farts, he thinks it is just sooooooo funny. Why do men do that? My son, step-son, father in law...every one of them laughs..not just ha ha ha but really belly laugh with the shoulders jumping up and down they are laughing so hard. And then there is me, trying to be sooo quiet, not wanting anyone to know. I tried to tell my husband that I simply did not fart but he informed me that I must hold them in because once I am asleep, I just let them rip one after another...."

Yeah, I always wondered if I was farting in my sleep. I never asked because I didn't want to know and Rick was nice enough not to tell me. There was one time when we were dating and for some stupid reason I decided to pick his big ass up and when I strained to lift him, I let one get past the guard. It was awful. We didn't know each other well enough for farting immunity yet and I felt pretty stupid. He just turned around immediately as though in fear of that fart. Oh well, he didn't leave and looking back, I wish he would have.

And the guys who find flatus to be so gut wrenchingly funny just annoy the hell out of me. I find it to be rude and offensive, especially if it smells really bad. That's why I was so damned proud of The Fart of 1994. That was an amazing fart and I wish I could summon it again...maybe even can the smell. It would cure any asshole out there...those fools wouldn't be laughing if they thought they'd have to inhale that hideous stench.

I'd hate to have a great fart like that and be alone. It would be such a waste if my son wasn't here to fart at. He doesn't laugh at other people's farts, not unless they're just really loud or funny sounding. But he hates the stink part. He gets quite annoyed if you fart back at him. I guess he still hasn't learned that life stinks and then you die.

There was a time when farting in front of a guy would have felt like social suicide but now I would just laugh myself. I'd rather be that chick who laughs at her own farts than just a woman who farted.

OK, enough of farts for now.

Alrighty then, I'm going to go back to the other thing and spew forth some more venom at my ex. See you later!

Meg

Good morning!

Another Monday morning. The coffee my son made tastes like shit, the dog is barking at the trash men and the house is so cold that I have goose bumps all over. I don't understand that at all. The thermostat says 69 and in the summer, that would feel great. But, in February it's like living without any heat at all.

When I was in Phoenix, it was in the 80's during the day and the 40's at night. That's a nice way to live. But if it isn't getting up into the 80's today, this blows. I hate being cold and I've been cold since sometime last September. They have blow up women for men, they should have big warm blobs for women. I'd buy one in a heartbeat and cuddle up to it every night. Except for that, I don't really need a man. Of course, once the grass starts growing again, I'll probably change my mind, but right now, all I need is that blob of heat lying next to me. I must say, Rick was good for keeping me warm, a bigger, warmer blob I have not had in quite some time.

Let's see, what else do you need a guy for? Taking out the trash, yeah, that's it. Oh, and gassing up the car. Not to mention gassing up the house, I can do without that little habit of men. Why is it that men only fart in front of you when they know you really, really well? They would never think of farting around a stranger, but when they're around the one they love it's fart, fart, fart. Unfortunately, I have a man here that is my son and he's very comfortable around the house letting that anus just relax when it shuld be nice and taut...and then he laughs like a 4 year old. That kid never got past the anal stage, he still thinks that the ability to fart is what made Steve Martin famous.

Oh well. OH! Besides that, I actually HEARD both of my dogs fart last night! I have never HEARD a dog fart...until last night. Both of those stupid dogs sleep in my room and I keep the door shut. When I heard the first one, I thought, "Poor Maggie, she's so old she can't help it." Then, the same sound came from the other side and I knew that was Payton...and he's a two year old boxer. I didn't change their food, I don't know what in the world caused that to happen. The nice thing about hearing the dogs fart is that I had a can of air freshener next to me and I was able to spray the dogs before the smell got to me. You can't really do that to a guy. I certainly have wanted to spray a guy or two here or there...but you just can't. They don't like it.

Of course, that works in reverse, living alone, I have full fart freedom myself. I can let them rip whenever I want to and not worry about anyone being offended. I can even do what my grandfather used to do, lift a leg or lean to one side for full farting ease. And when I leave the house all dressed up and pretty, no one would ever guess that I just came from a full fledged fart party.

I still can't bring myself to sit in the living room and pick my nose without fear of being caught in a pick...I just can't do it. Rick didn't mind that at all...I could see him out of the corner of my eye, up to his elbow in a search of something, I don't know what. I would stare straight ahead and pretend that I didn't see him. Now I wish I had just taken video...then I could have had something for U-Tube.

There's a lot of things that I would have done differently if I could go back in time. Besides the obvious, just avoiding Rick all together, I would have called Cheaters, spent more money and put itching powder in his shorts. Damn, I wish I could go back and really screw him this time. I guess I'll just have to live with the alimony and enjoy knowing that he works a lot of hours all for lil ol' me.

Well, I have to try to get myself all inspired to keep on working on Infidelity. Everytime I get close to an idea, the stupid computer freezes on me and then it takes a few hours to get it working again. I come here first so that I can at least let you guys know that I'm alive and kicking. Then, I try to go work on the other thing. I have to buy a new computer but I just hate spending money on anything but traveling. I keep thinking about my trip to Europe and I fear spending a dime. It's amazing how easily I can spend other people's cash...but I cannot stand to spend my own.

Damn...the dogs are hungry. I have to feed them. I wonder if I sprinkled some baking powder in their food if that would keep the disgusting smells down to a minimum? Ya think?

I'll be back after I work on the other blog thing for a while...let me know if you have any ideas regarding what I should include in a book about cheating....I don't want to leave anything out.

See ya soon!

Meg

Meg,

"...I too have had that thought occur to me also, the bit about dating a younger man who has never had kids. For the exact same reasons as you posted about..."

That's because you and I have something that mistresses will never understand, consideration for other human beings. Decent people have the burden of thinking about other people and their feelings. I was dating a guy last year who was quite a bit younger than I. Every relationship comes to a point where you either need to commit for life or just part ways. I knew that we would never marry because he didn't have any kids.

There were other reasons as well, but when I told him that we needed to see other people, he wanted to know why. I told him that it was because I would never be able to give him children. He said that he didn't care and he would rather keep seeing me. But it wouldn't have been fair of me to even stay with him any longer because he told me that he thought he was falling in love with me. He was extremely attractive, a professional and would make someone a wonderful husband. It wouldn't have been very tough for me to fall in love with him if I had let myself, but I couldn't. I had to do what I did even though it hurt me to do it. It hurt him at the time, but wherever he is, I'm sure he's doing just fine now.

I could have kept seeing him for a bit longer, as a matter of fact, I really, really did want to. But when I thought about his parents and how they would react if he brought home a woman who was 12 years older AND a grandmother, I knew I didn't want to be in that position and I certainly didn't want him to really fall for me so I had to do what I did.

If you were reading a while back you might remember when I found out that a guy I was dating was married. We only went out a few times before I found out. But even if we had dated long enough for me to have fallen for him, I would have done the exact same thing as I did do, I would have dumped him. Even if I didn't give a hoot about his wife or his kids, I wouldn't have wanted a man who would have put me in the situation of being "the other woman". For a man to do that to a woman is quite rude and the women who don't mind are sleazeballs...totally. So, they certainly do deserve each other.

It's sort of like one of the reasons that I wouldn't cheat on my husband...I wouldn't have a man who would even WANT a married woman. I had too much respect for my husband and would never be happy with a man who would hurt my husband so much by screwing his wife. Even after I knew I was married to a liar and a cheat, I still wouldn't have cheated on him because I just wouldn't want someone who's morals were so non-existent as to sleep with a married woman. I still have to live with myself and even if I knew I could have gotten away with it, I wouldn't have done it.

And, there's no line of bullshit that could get me to sleep with a married man. Even if the crap he said about his wife was true (and smart women know better than to believe a cheating husband when he tells them how evil the wife is), I would just tell him to call me if he leaves her and the divorce is final. One of my rules for dating is not to date men who have been out of a long term relationship for less than 6 months and even THAT probably isn't long enough. Not only do I NOT want to be the other woman, I don't want to be the rebound woman either. Both roles are really, really bad roles and I don't want to play either one of them.

Lara (the lady who left that comment) is a decent soul and it heartens me to know that some of them are out there! For a while there, I was beginning to think that I was the only idiot around who wouldn't just see what they wanted and go right after it, no matter who was hurt in the process. Since I've been writing this blog, I've learned a lot about people, men as well as women. I've heard from men who have been cheated upon, women who've been cheated upon and people who haven't been cheated on but are still somehow touched by some of the things that I write about. I was in Georgia because Rick accepted a job down here and then we never went anywhere, we just made each other our lives...or so I thought. So, when he left, I didn't have a friend at all in this state. The blog people became my friends and after hearing the pain that so many people out there have gone through, I have a much better view of people than I did before the blog. There are far too many of them out there for me to take one that belongs to someone else and there are even enough that I don't have to take one who has a chance at finding a wife who could give them children.

I had never thought about that situation much at all, I was married for so long that it just never came up. But when I started dating again, I had to think about it because for some reason, I seem to attract younger men. I always have, I don't have a clue why that is. So, I won't be having a serious relationship with the guy that I'm seeing now. I don't know what I will do as far as he's concerned, but for right now, I'm enjoying his company. Now what I have to do is figure out exactly what I want out of this relationship and how long I should let it go on. I'll figure something out.

Oh well.

OH! Guess what I found today? A damned hickey on my neck! He and I made out a bit when we were at his house and I don't even remember when he could have done that. I must just bruise easily or something because if I had the SLIGHTEST idea that he was giving me a hickey, I would have stopped him on the spot. I don't remember the last time I had a fricking hickey! I do remember my first hickey, I was 15 and my mother saw it. She said to me, "Married people don't even do that!" I don't know what that was supposed to mean but I think she was right, I don't remember having a hickey from Rick. I have to work tomorrow night and I keep my hair back when I work so this should be interesting...covering it up with make-up would only make it more obvious so I have no idea how I'll pull that one off. This is NOT a problem that I've had in decades...are there any new hickey cures that I'm unaware of? A professional woman really shouldn't be walking around with a hickey. I can't even believe that I'm saying the word hickey.

OK...now I'm going to work on Infidelity, especially for Solaris...knowing that she's waiting for more makes me feel guilty (which is good!) so I'm going to spend some time there for her. The grandkids and their father are sleeping so I have the kitchen to myself and I'm going to take advantage of that right now. I hope I don't disappoint!

Meg

Good morning!

Or, is it afternoon? Well, it's morning to me because I didn't go to sleep until 4 AM. My nurse friend and I went to Chops, that restaurant that I ADORE...and he loved it, too. He said he's lived here for 10 years and hadn't ever heard of it before.

We had a great time, the food was wonderful as always and the conversation was fantastic. Of course, I rarely have anyone to speak to so when I do, I love it when it's someone who's as bright and funny as he is. After dinner, we actually took a drive to Tennessee! We didn't set out to leave the state at all, we just did. Over dinner we were both talking about how much we like to drive and we decided to just do it. So, when we left the restaurant, we headed north on 75 like we were going to my house and we just kept driving and chatting. We were having such a nice time that we didn't realize how far we'd gone until we saw a sign that said, "Welcome to Tennessee"!

At that point, we figured that we should probably head back south a bit and we did. During the ride back, the topic of his house came up and I asked him about the landscaping. So, he decided to show me his house so we stopped off there for a while and he showed me his basement which he finished himself and he did a great job! I was quite impressed. I was even more impressed that he didn't show me his bedroom. That showed me that he wasn't expecting a piece of ass which made me feel much better.

We also got on the topic of age...a subject neither of us had broached in the past. Well, I am older than he is, much more so than I had hoped. The age "issue" didn't bother him, but it does make me feel a bit bad. It's not so much his age that bothers me but it's the fact that he's never had any kids. I would never want to get serious with a man who hasn't had kids because I wouldn't want to be the reason that he never had any. I know that I could adopt, but I don't even want to raise another kid at my age. So, that makes up my mind so far as how serious this relationship would ever get. I guess we're just gonna have fun for now and see what happens.

I was also thinking that it probably wouldn't be a great idea to date anyone at work even though we both decided not to tell anyone. It's just not a good idea in general. It was Rick's pick up place. I don't think he's ever met a co-worker that he wouldn't fuck. When I would be worried about him cheating, he would say, "The only place I've been is work!" Rick saying that would be like any other guy saying, "I've just been hanging out in pick-up joints!" He has dated some bimbo from every job he's had as long as I've known him. No one ever told him what a bad idea that was.

Anyway, when we left my date's house, we ended up at the Marietta Diner...eating again! We were both hungry so we stopped and split a gyro snadwich, one of my favorite meals ever. Then, he took me home and it was 4:30. I went to lie down on the couch and started watching TV and before I fell asleep, my son woke up and said he was going to pick up the kids. The mother is a mailman and I guess she leaves the house very early. I don't know who get's their mail that early in the morning, surely not I!

Anyway, my grandkids are here and they were taking a nap but when I got about halfway done with this post, they both walked into the kitchen and said, "Hi Grandma! We're up!" So, I have to go and be happy that they're up. Before they took their nap, my granddaughter and I hid (she loves to hide) in a closet and waited. No one was looking for us so we were in there for a long time before my son decided to look for his daughter. It was so hot under all of those close, I thought he would never look for us, let alone find us!

But he did and now they've taken their nap so Grandma gets to have some fun now. I think I'll take my granddaughter and see if she wants to help me cook. Little girls love that...until they get to about 11, so you have to take advantage of them while thet're still young enough to think washing dishes is fun.

Oh, earlier, my granddaughter asked me why I am so nice to her and why do I give here whatever she wants. I said, "Because I LOVE YOU!" She said, "My mommy keeps saying no to me so she doesn't love me." I had to tell her that mommys are supposed to say "No!" BECAUSE they love you but grandmas can give you whatever you want and say "Yes!" because we love them so much and we already said "No!"...to her daddy! My grandmother taught me how to spoil the grandkids well. I miss her so much. Grandmothers are great, aren't they?

I didn't know the kids would be here this weekend and I had planned on writing all weekend. Now I'll have to wait for them to fall asleep for the night and then I'll peck away at these keys until I come up with something really good!

See ya after my grandkids wear me out!

Meg

Meg...

"...Snakes, that's what they are, slimey snakes who shed skin but its the same pattern underneath..."

Now, apologoze to the snakes...they don't lie and cheat on their own kind! Seriously, though...the point is well taken. Leopards don't change their spots and liars don't all of a sudden become honest people out of nowhere. That's how I know that Rick will be miserbale...he refuses to tell the truth when a lie can get him out of any jam he might find himself in.

I think people can GROW UP...my other ex and I were married very young and he cheated a LOT but I think he did finally grow up and learn his lesson but by then it was too late for me, I couldn't trust him and I lost any feelings that I had for him. I wish I could have gotten them back, I never would have met Rick if I had.


"...I say move out, and burn the damn furniture. I can't stand visiting the same everyday places that I'd been with an ex (yes, even the neighborhood Blockbuster), much less LIVE in a "home" that we had supposedly built together. I'm a sentimental person by nature. I have way too many memories and feelings attached to everything. When John and I were going through one of our rough spots, I seriously contemplated moving out of town. I was planning to move to Paris. I just wanted to get away. Anywhere that wouldn't remind me of him. Out of site, out of mind. I think that's the best way to get over someone.

And Lord knows that is my M.O., I leave the state when things get rough. I've done it so many times that I've lived in 6 states so far. But, my son has his daughter here and I begged him to move in with me when I was so alone that I can't just kick him out on his bum now.

I would love to blow this pop stand, but I have too many responsibilities. The house and the neighborhood has almost lost it's Rick charm....he's been gone for so long. I do think that I'd like to have a new place to start over but right now I feel like someone is holding me back by a foot. Oddly enough, I had considered going to Paris myself. I would be there if it weren't for my kid. I'd just empty my bank account, cash the alimony and go to the airport to await the first flight out of the country. I want to do all the things that I couldn't do because I had kids so young.

It just seems that, as women, we are always responsible for someone else. When I lived at home I was the baby sitter as the oldest of 6 kids. Then, I got married and immediately became pregnant. Then, when the kids started leaving home, I had Rick and then the kids started needing this or that so I've been working, living and basically breathing for other people my entire life. And then, I run into the most selfish entities that God ever created. I don't get it. I wuld love to have someone say to me..."Go do what you need to do, make yourself happy for a while!" But all I ever get it, "Why do you need to travel alone? Do you want to FUCK someone else!?" Now, do you honestly think that a guy like that will end up at the alter with me? I don't know what makes some men think that they can get away with such intense control mechanisms. It makes me want to SCREAM!!!

To each his own, darlings. I have to say, getting rid of everything acquired together was the ultimate "fu" to the ex. It was my way of saying that you may have come close to ruining my life, but I will rise from the ashes and become better than you could ever dream to be.

Of course this is the perfect answer. And there was a time when I would have done just that. But I chose each stick of furniture myself, with Rick's approval...and I like it. I certainly like my art work. I guess that's what would make it the ultimate FU...'ey?

But...whatever I do with my "stuff", I absolutely will rise from the ashes and become better than I ever thought that I could be!

My goal for the rest of my life is to make Rick one sorry sonofabitch. I know he's not sorry enough now or he would have apologized at some point. But trust me, I am going to do something good...I just haven't quite figured out what it is yet.

Lately I've had some sort of energy/motivation that I haven't had in such a long time that I don't remember when it was. I don't know where it came from but I have to say, I like it.

I've been able to get so much more done in the area of housecleaning and other boring things that I have to take care of. I don't know where this burst of whatever it is came from, but I'm glad it's here and I hope it doesn't go away. Has anyone else experienced something like that? You have absolutely NO motivation nor the energy to accomplish ANYTHING. Then, one day you do, I don't know why and I'm wondering what this could mean...if anything.

Well, tonight I'm going out with nurse boy...to a place called Chops. I know I'll have a good time, they have great food and my date and I can talk for hours without getting bored. Now, what to wear, what to wear?

Meg

Meg...

"...Don't get rid of your stuff...Her life sucks in every way, so she has to have something to hang onto. And it usually ends up being the men you're better off without anyway..."

Thanks! I really like my couch, it's perfect for sleeping on and I like it a lot. And to your other point, yeah, a mistress cannot possibly be very content with their life. They know better than the wife what a lying cheat the husband really is. So, they get to live somewhat paranoid, never knowing if the husband was just using them to leave the wife and whether or not the mistress will be next.

All the trouble that we go to to find a man that makes us happy and these women have no standards pertaining to whom they would NOT fuck...married men are NOT on their list of keep aways. These idiot women, with their eyes wide open, go after men who are, by definition, liars. A married man having an affair is a liar, no two ways about it. And the mistresses don't even mind!

They actually think that the husband loves THEM and THEY are the one woman who the husband will be faithful to. What a joke.

Of course, I just wait for Karma...I love watching it in all it's glory. And, it comes at you the way you put it out there. Rick will have something devastating happen to him in the love department and the mistress will as well. Neither of them has any respect for honesty so you know that they're perfectly willing to lie if they have to...and sooner or later, they will. Then it's all a domino effect after that.

Odd isn't it? The most important aspect of a relationship...trust...and they will never truly have it because their relationship was totally based on lies.

Anyway, fuck them. Kroger (the grocery store around the corner) is apparently discontinuing those lime popsicles that I like so much. I can easily eat a box of 6 or more in one day...I just love those suckers.

They were $2.99 a box but I only bought it when it was on sale, usually for $2.50. Now, they're $1.79 and I buy all that they have everytime I go to the grocery store but they keep on finding more of them. So, when I go back I buy them all again.

It was a relatively lovely day outside today so I turned the furnace off. I'm hoping that I don't have to turn it back on until October or November. Well, I'd have to use the AC so one way or another, I'm gonna have to pay a lot of money to avoid discomfort. Right now I'm sweating like a pig and I hate that.

Oh, I was also doing laundry today and that never makes you very cool, does it? As a matter of fact, the machine has stopped so I have to go and change the loads. I hate laundry!

Meg

Meg...

...I made a conscious effort to get rid of anything that my ex hubby and I had together. There is NOTHING in my house any longer that was acquired "together".

I was looking around my living room the other day. Rick and I spent a long time choosing our couch. We both liked the chairs and bought them together. Of the 2 tables, they both have Rick stories. The lamp is one that he bought for me unexpectedly because he knew how much I loved it. The electronics is all from him because that was his job and forte'. We chose the artwork on the walls together. I would have to throw away everything except the refridgerator and the stove top.

Do you guys think that I should get rid of it all? I could...I could just have a "Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair" yard sale and let things go relatively cheaply. What do you guys think? I'd still have to replace it all so that would cost a buck or two.

We were in this house for close to 10 years and we had furnished it how we wanted it over that time period so of course he was with me when I got everything. Rick said that I should move out of the house, I think he's right.

This has me thinking. All joking aside, do you think that mistresses feel guilty?

No. And this is why...in order to deal with their own guilt they have to make the wife some evil entity who deserves all of this bullshit. They are absolutely self-centered, selfish, they do what they want to do when they want to do it without any consideration for any consequences. They have to live like this so that they can live with themselves. As the evil wench from hell, the wife doesn't deserve any pity or guilt from the mistress/whore.

You have to remember that the husband is telling the mistress all sorts of lies about the wife in his OWN attempt to assauge his guilt. He builds her up to be some sort of mean and nasty bitch who makes the husband totally miserable. Then, the mistress and the husband have a common enemy and they feed off of each other. I despise them.

Now I have to cook. And I'm already annoyed, nothing better go wrong with my batter recipe!

Meg

I have a tool...

...that tells me how people get to my blog. It comes up as a result of some pretty wild searches, I guess if you hang out long enough you get around to everything. Anyway, yesterday someone searched "how to trust a woman not to steal your money after divorce" on Google and they ended up here. I don't know why, but they did.

And since the guy ended up here, even as the result of an accident...I feel the need to help him out and answer his question.

YOU CAN NOT TRUST A WOMAN NOT TO STEAL YOUR MONEY AFTER A DIVORCE. Duh. I thought you guys knew that.

You can't trust us not to steal it before a divorce, surely you wouldn't be able to trust us after a divorce. But, as I've always maintained, a woman can explain, in detail, how she is going to manipulate you and the tricks that she's going to use to wrap you around her tiny little finger and then she'll do it...and even though she told you what she was going to do, you are still totally shocked when she does it.

You guys are that pliable...yes you are. Some require more handling than others, but most of you have your weaknesses and we can learn what they are rather quickly.

So, in closing, to the man who searched the "trust" issue, the answer to your question is that you can't trust us. But we're the only game in town and you'll still play with us...because we show our appreciation well:)

Meg

Meg...

"...did you keep up with the court case, if so what was the verdict?"

Yes I have and the jury is still out. I'm a litle bit surprised by that but if I had to guess, they're doing what I was doing, debating between murder and manslaughter. I'll let you guys know when the verdict comes in, I check everyday.

lol - shouldn't mistresses be considered as sex offenders?

In a way...but what I think is that they should be shunned by society like they used to be. It's amazing how much society and it's "norms" have changed in just my lifetime alone. There was not one noticeably pregnant girl in my high school. There wouldn't have been one...they would have tossed them out on their ear. Now they have day care and special classes.

I prefered the Scarlett Letter and the stock myself. I'd like to see an adulterer in the stock and go up and smack them a few times. To some extent we do that nowadays, shun them I mean. We can say anything we want to about them and no one would blame us. But, you sure the hell can't see them coming and that's a shame.

Amber you are contradicting yourself there. You are trying to achieve the same lifestyle that you are trying to destroy in other peoples marriage.Why does this read as though you are 15 yrs old? 16 the most?

Well, I wrote the Amber letter myself a year and a half ago. When I found it again, it took a minute to remember that I had written it.

I have been cleaning my house a lot lately so I haven't been able to write on the Infidelity project but I'm going to get to it today...especially for Solaris!

I started munching out on strawberries last night and before I knew it, I had eaten one entire carton of them. I have another carton, I'll use that one with my strawberry yogurt. If my son wasn't here, I'd hardly have to buy any groceries at all, just some Hot Pockets and fruit. But he's a man and he likes meat and potatoes. It does keep me cooking which is probably a good thing. If I were alone and waiting until I got hungry, I'd never cook anything. As it is, I eat because I have to, not because I'm hungry. I think I'm becoming immune to the Marinol, the dose probably needs to be increased. The bottle that I take now is over $300. I couldn't possibly afford all of my meds if it weren't for the insurance.

The nurse guy that I had over for the last two Bears games called me last night. We've spoken a couple of times and last night he finally asked me out. He let me choose a restaurant and I hate when guys do that because my favorite restaurants are so expensive. I just don't know any cheap restaurants except for the Marietta Diner and that's not really date material. He specifically said, "Don't consider the cost, just tell me what you like." So, I said Chops. We would have to dress for that occasion and I'd like to see him dressed up a bit.

Another guy that I've spoken about called me this week, too. He's the one who has never made a move on me although we've known each other for YEARS and we have cuddled on his couch watching movies in the past. I didn't get to speak to him so I don't know what he wanted but I'm sure it wasn't sex. I'll call him later to find out. If things come in 3's, one more guy should be calling me this week.

Well, the lottery thing isn't working out. So, I have to pay the bills out of my own money and that just sucks. Also, none of my daydreams can come true if I don't win the sucker. I'd love to just get on a boat and sail around the world. But, as I said, I'd probably need some back up money and I doubt that what I have now would do the trick.

The other day I mentioned how everything in this house has a Rick story attached to it, even if he was just with me when I bought it...we were always together. I was even spoiled, if I wanted something badly, he would give it to me. Apparently, he liked me at one point. The more I look around the house, the more I see that this place is a mausoleum to our marriage and I'm living in it. Ick.

I've got to get the heck out of this place...once again...lottery tickets! My mother was a gambler and she once won $50,000.00 playing Bingo. I'm not a gambler, I feel guilty blowing 50 bucks at the track if I don't win. So, of course I don't buy a LOT of lottery tickets...I just can't justify it.

There are 3 things that I hate, hate, HATE to spend money on and they are bras, purses and lottery tickets. I don't know why, I just do. And it drives me insane that the only bra's that I can wear are Victoria's Secret and everytime I fall in love with a purse, they cost 50 bucks. I can never find something I like AND cheap.

I watched a cute clutch style purse that was totally covered with buttons of different colors. It was adorable. Everytime I went to the mall I would visit the purse. One day, I finally bought it. I took it home and guess what? My daughter had seen it too and she was ALSO in love with the purse. I didn't even get to use it once.

OK, I better go while the gettin's good. See ya later!

Meg

Now my stupid computer...

...is really screwed. We bought it a couple years before Rick left so you know it's an old fucker. I plan on using every single bit and RAM that this puter has in it. I'm gonna squeeze the life out of it.

I went grocery shopping tonight and spent well over $200. That's not easy to do. Well, I mean that because you have to put it all away...it isn't too tough to actually SPEND that much money. I did it with ease. The only rough part was the blueberries. I put them in the cart (up in the place where the kid sits if you have a kid) and it fell out and landed all oevr the produce section. Then, I had so many groceries that a guy was helping me unload them and HE let them slip and fall onto the floor. So, I picked up blueberries twice today.

I was trying to buy two packages of blueberries and somehow I ended up with 3 of them. All I can think is that they gave me the one that dropped on the floor when they gave me the new one. I checked the receipt...it only charged me for one. So, the whole blueberry thing is pretty dern confusing.

I told my father about the real estate thing and he had nothing positive to say. He had never, ever approved of any ideas that I've ever had. I learned something from my parents...you should always give your kids direction and support so that they know they are capable of doing whatever it is they want to do.

I love my father but ever since I was a kid, anything that I asked him about was a bad idea for one reason or another and he never had an alternative plan to offer...he just didn't like mine.

Once I said to him, "Dad, it's time to talk about college.", he responded, "I have 3 sons to put through school..." Basically he nixed the plan because I was a girl.

Then, I decided to go into the Army and he responded, "If I thought that a daughter of mine had nothing better to do with her life than to join the Army, I would be severly disappointed." I remember what he said verbatim.

Well, this time I'm not going to let his tone stop me from doing what I want to do. I have an appointment set up with a lady next week. I'll let you guys know how that goes.

Anyway, I need to go to bed now...I'm exhausted and it's getting a tad late for me, old lady that I am. I proved to myself last Saturday that I have no business drinking. Man, I didn't think I was drunk at the time but I had a helluva hangover on Sunday. I just wanted to stay in bed until the middle of the summer.

OK then, see ya!

Meg

Amber the slut...

...has been here before. When she last visited the blog, commentators were not very nice to her. So, that's why she's so angry from the get-go:)

OK then, meet Amber:

Hey ya'll......this is Amber and I just had to come back here and tell you mean and nasty people how bad it is to laugh at someone. You'll all don't know me, I could have a sex addiction for all you know. Maybe I need your compassion and not your laughter. That "industrial carpet cleaner" comment was unnecessary. I use A-jax like everybody else.

After all, I don't necessarily go AFTER married men, it's just that I don't care one way or another. See, I don't target your husbands...I just don't send them home if they come to me. And they come to me because you all don't do what I do. You don't fuck your man in all the right places and at all the right times. If I have nothing better to do with my time than to manipulate men sexually, what business is it of yours?

I love the feeling of being able to control men with my body. I have nothing else going for me so I devote all of my time to finding ways to make men worship me. I make them prove themselves to me over and over again. It isn't good enough that they lie to their wives, I want them to HURT their wives. If I can make them go home and treat their wife like shit...while letting them think it's their own idea...I've done a good day's work.

I like to let them talk about the wife and then I can learn all of the weak spots and drill them home at the most opportune moments. I feel much more happy with myself after I've manipulated a man into thinking that he has been treated so poorly that he deserves to cheat on his wife. It's easy for me to do because the wife has no clue that anything is going on so she can't defend herself or even try to compete with me. She has no IDEA that she's even IN a competition. She's living life as she always has, taking for granted that her husband is where he says he is.

I have to be sure that she doesn't find out about me until I've taken every minor complaint the husband has about her and magnified it to the point where he pretty much despises her. The way I make mountains out of the moe hills of his life combined with a lot of INTENSE (Rick's word) sex...before you know it, he can't stand her for keeping him away from me.

Of course, I've convinced the husband that he deserves not only me, but new clothes, a new car and a cleaner place to live that is full of peace and sex...not a bustling family life that an entire family depends on. I've built him into a pathetic, trapped and put upon man and turned her into an albatross, a whiny, needy and uselss parasite who must be excised from his life.

Once I have successfully accomplished this...I don't care if she finds out or not. I actually want her to know. That's when I can be ready to pet his head when she smacks him on it with a frying pan. Now I may even try to let her find out by doing things like making hang up calls but denying it to the husband. And of course he believes me, by now she suspects something and is asking him questions so he's in that denial, "You're crazy, woman!" mode and he won't listen to ANYTHING she says.

Or maybe I'll leave text messages when and where she will find them. I'll be sure to make the message something that he CANNOT explain away...something like talk about us having a baby.

Hopefully, if I have a husband of my own, both spouses will find out at the same time so that we can run right to each other and live together. That way I can go from one man to another without having to pay any bills by myself. That's my ideal situation. Living with a man increases your chances of getting pregnant by him. Once he's living with you...pregnancy is the best way to keep him there.

I don't think about long term consequences or who might be hurt because this is what I need to do to feel good about myself. And if I think something will make ME feel good, I'm going to do it. Fuck anyone who doesn't like it. The families will all learn to live with it, especially after I have a baby. They'll HAVE to. Or I won't let them see their grandchildren...or their son. This is my life and it's ALL about what I want. Oh, I DON'T want HER kids living in my house, unless we would have to pay a LOT of child support...then our house would be the best for the kids.

And I'll do whatever I have to do to make him see what a rotten job she has done with the kids. By the time I'm finished with him, he'll be an expert at tough love...I'm sure that HER kids are gonna need it. They better not come running to us for money. Especially after they're 18...her brats should be self sufficient and responsible. Their father has no reason to pay for them after they're 18. He owes that money to me, my kids and any kids he and I might have.

If anybody has a problem with the way a mistress thinks...fuck yourself. I'll go fuck your husband...whether I want him or not.

Amber

It's totally muddy outside...

...and my dogs will come in and muddy up my floor. Before I let them in I'll block off the part of the house with carpet, I have to wash the kitchen floor anyway. I should have done it yesterday and now I'm glad that I didn't.

OK...nothing new much to report here, I just had to work so many hours that I've neglected you guys but I'm off for the weekend so I'm going to be working on Infidelity. That's so fun for me, I just go back to when Rick left, I get annoyed all over again and then I start to vomit venom. As I said in Infidelity, the anti-venom is the truth. But, lacking that from the person from whom I need it, I have to bare my fangs and hiss.

I was going through some of the stuff that I'd written on this thing a long time ago and I keep getting shocked at what I said. I'm a hoot...you guys must think I'm nuts. Anyway, it's already out there so there's nothing that I can do about it now. I'm about to introduce Amber the Slut into my story. Amber is a collection of whores all balled up into one huge sleazeball character representing women who screw married men. I know we should concentrate on the men more and I do, but I can't leave the bimbo's who steal our hubbies out of the story, now could I?

Of course not, if they had acted like ladies our hubbies would never have the cajones to leave us in the first place. They never leave until they have someone else to kiss their ass. They never have a REASON to leave. Mine didn't, he told me everything was fine. Fine, fine, fine. But when he finally got his bimbo...he couldn't list my faults, there were just so damn many of them. All of a sudden, he hated everything that I did.

See? This is what I need to do, irritate myself. Good idea! I'll come here first to get myself all angry and then I'll go to Infidelitys and work on that little piece of vindication. Ooh, I just thought of something. When the reporter called Rick to get a comment from him regarding the blog, his comment was "She can be very vindictive."

That was the best he could do and that word was HIS word. Doesn't it sort of IMPLY that I need vindication from something HE did? He never was as bright as he could have been. His words alone sink him but he won't accept that as evidence, I literally have to catch him, penis in nasty pussy, toes wiggling and face all orgasmed out. Other wise, he subscribed to the Deny All Theory. That's the theory that men have that states if you deny it often enough, she will believe yu sooner or later. So, he would deny everything, even his previous admissions...it's been so long that now he can manipulate history to his favor.

Yeah, I'm making myself angry.

I think was it is is that I'm wondering how much of his behavior was action and how much was reaction. Did he plan the pain that he dished out? No. He couldn't have. But, he did do a very good job at it. He HAD to have planned it...it was choreographed for maximum intensity on the pain scale. And now, being the vindictive lady that Rick says that I am...I'm off to work on Amber the Slut.

Meg

OK, now it's another comment, so the question is moot.
Do you guys know what the heck this quote of the day is supposed to mean? I'm baffled.

Meg

Something that I was...

...thinking about recently (and found it's way into Infidelities for Dummies), was how many things in my house I've had since the day Rick and I picked them out.

I sat in the living room looking around and everything from the couch to the paintings on the wall, we got together. Then I looked down the hall and saw the small table and mirror that I thought was an antique but ended up being from some mall store who's name I can't recall at the moment. It'll come to me.

Anyway, about 98% of the stuff in this house has a story that starts with the word, "we". "We were shopping for a couch and we spotted this one..." "We were at the mall one day and I mentioned that I liked a lamp..." We, we, we.

Damn, I wish I had some more popsicles. I can eat more than a box in one day. There are 6 of them in that box and I eat them 2 at a time.

So, I called a couple of places for the real estate thing, one real estate office and I got the addy to one online course. I tried calling my father but I just got the answering machine. I could have him look over the internet one, if it doesn't matter in the long run, it would be easier to do it from home. But, if a certificate from an online program is like a Venezuelan medical license, I don't want to do anything like that.

Oh well. Hopefully my dad will call me back soon and he won't have some problem with the nut lady that will take forever to fully argue about. I had planned on going to Florida but as long as the nut lady is there, I don't want to be.

I was watching commercials yesterday and I cuoldn't believe how lame they're getting. One product claimed to make your skin more "resilient and supple". Guaranteed.

The only problem is how do you prove that? How do you tell if you skin is more resilient? I sure don't know my supple score.

Then there are some diarrhea medicines that make you able to squat safely. I can't BELIEVE those commercials.

And my absolute WORST types of commercials are the ones that you can't zap or mute because they have them ON the movie, during the movie, taking up half of the screen. What the hell is that all about? I remember the first time I saw that, it was for some shark program and the television screen just turned red with blood at the bottom before it would tell you what it was. I couldn't believe they would do that then and I'm stunned at how much they do it now.

My mind is drawing a blank...I hate that. I had something else I wanted to say but I had to finish that paragraph first...how I've forgotten what I was gonna say. Oh well. My kitchen is a mess so I should really clean that up. I'll pop back in when I remember what it was I was gonna say. OK?

Meg

Meg...

"...When my husband left me, he left behind his real estate licensing course materials (and the rest of his work and normal stuff lol). I'm thinking of studying the books myself - I think I can make a fortune where I live..."

You know, I bet we all could. Those books are a hint to you...do it! We could all do it and then get together as "The Ex Wives Club" Trump style.

Around here, as in most metropolitan areas, I would think, there are sub-divisions going up all over the place. Here in my neighborhood they keep on building new groups of really expensive homes and they're driving the property taxes way, way up.

I don't know much about the real estate business but I've seen some of the people who do it...it can't be that hard. My father's second wife did it and if she can do it, a 4 year old can do it. The only other sales job I've ever had was in custom window coverings and I was very good at that. I sold the most in my department and I knew nothing about window treatments before I took the job. I learn really fast.

I was so good at it that if a customer walked in, as many would, and said, "I'm here to spend a LOT of money so I want the best sales person that you have here!", the other people would just come and get me instead of even trying to take the sale themselves. I guess they were too intimidated by people who spoke to them like that.

That's the last job that I had that wasn't in nursing and I wouldn't have quit it except Rick got transferred to New York and like an idiot, I went with him. In October. To the Canadian border. Damn, that place was colder than any place I have ever been. My front door actually froze shut once and my son thought that I had locked him out. I thought it was funny and couldn't keep myself from laughing and that just made him angrier. I was blow drying the ice of the metal door to defrost it and cracking up the entire time. The more he yelled at me, the funnier it was to me. I know it doesn't seem all that funny now, I guess you had to be there.

Anyway, I did like that sales job, and I was good at it. I find that to be good in sales, you have to know what you're selling and know it well, be honest, funny and outgoing and you'll do well. I doubt that the basics would be any different, no matter what you're selling. Anyway, I think I could do well.

The only immediate problem is that I don't have any business like clothes. I have a bunch of nurses uniforms and blue jeans. I have a skirt or a dress here or there, but not enough to make a wardrobe out of. I DO have a bunch of clothes from before I lost all that weight, but they would fall off of me if I walked briskly.

My father specialized in real estate and taxes as an attorney so I bet he could be a big help. Of course, bless his heart, if you don't do something his way, he gets annoyed. And now that I old enough to stand up to him, he doesn't quite know how to handle me. I figure just like an adult would be good at this time, but parents just can't think of you as anything but their kid, even if the kid is pushing 50 years old. But, I'm know my dad, I could learn a LOT from him, a whole lot.

Anyway, as soon as I get my ass off of the computer I'll start making phone calls. I think I'll do some research first, like what agencies do the best and stuff like that. Anyway, before the next post, I should be able to tell you when I'm starting...I hope...because I'm quite serious about this. I've thought about it before but when Rick was here I was totally obsessed with trying to find out what was going on and when he left, I was just in shock for so long that I got into a habit of not doing anything, I was in a stress induced holding pattern.

Then yesterday I was thinking about my son and how I'd like to be able to help him more and my daughter...I'd like to have as much money as she needs. She doesn't take advantage of it, when she asks for money, I know she needs it. And with any luck, one of these days she'll get married and I'd like to be able to see to it that she has the wedding of her dreams.

So, those are a couple of the reasons why I want to do this...as a nurse I just work and sleep, work and sleep. The money is OK but if you can't do anything with it, what good is it? And when I was thiking about my kids, it was like en epiphany...they rely on me for so much...I hadn't thought like that since they were kids. But even adult kids need their mothers occasionally. And I want to be the best that I can be for THEM...and for me of course.

"...Anyway...regarding Maggie - that is odd that your vet would tell you to use buffered aspirin when she is in that much pain. If she is having that much trouble going up and down stairs you might need something different..."

I just called the vet. She gave Maggie something for pain when she had her surgery, I'm sure she'd give her something now. They just said to use buffered aspirin until I bring her in. I hate that, if the vet tells me that it's best to put her down, I would do it so I'm afraid to even GO there. I'm not ready to let her go yet.

Now, if my idiot over grown puppy would just shut the hell up...I'd be golden. My brother told me that boxers have an extremely long adolescence. He must be right because this dog is a total jack ass. He does actually box the other dog who I wish would growl and snap at him, she doesn't like it but she dosn't do as much to stop it as she could. I guess she's just patient.

For a while there, whenever Payton would go after Maggie, I would punish him by putting him outside. After a while, he figured it our and when he wanted to go outside, he would attack Maggie. Nothing serious, just doggie style rough housing. It's tough to keep him off of her now, you'd think he would get the point but he doesn't.

Now, he IS a GREAT watch dog...no one's getting past him without waking me up. That dog barks so loudly that people who comes to the door are frightened of him, from police to the pizza guy, everyone asks, "Does he bite?" And I don't know, I've never said "Sic 'em!"

He really is a patient and good hearted dog, I'm glad of that. I'd hate to end up on Judge Judy one day defending my dog for chewing up my neighbors ladder or some such shit. I'm pretty lucky, he just walks through the driveway to get to the fence and into the backyard he goes. He hasn't jumped the fence (yet) and he doesn't try to escape although he did get away from me one time and some lady was walking down the sidewalk. She was a bicth over it so I was a bigger bitch. Very few women can out bitch me.

OK then ladies and gentlemen, I must go and act like I want to be a real estate agent/tycoon.

See ya when I find out what I have to do!

Meg

I finally got...

...signed on my dumb computer. It can be a bitch if it wants to be. I made a decision today, I want to go to real estate school. That shouldn't be too tough, I'm pretty smart and the only sales job that I ever had was one that I was very good at.

This nursing thing is hard and although you get paid pretty well, you'll never get rich doing it. So, while Rick still has to pay alimony I'm going to take advantage of the time and go as soon as possible. I'll probably call them in the morning, whomever "them" are, I don't know just yet.

For some stupid reason, I decided to have a few drinks Saturday night. I should know better than to do that because 2 beers gives me a hangover, highballs would just be worse. I don't know how alcoholics do it...I would hate to be sick all the time.

There was a time when I drank until someone said, "MEG!!! WE AIN'T GOT NO MORE LIQUOR!" But I ended up on medication that you couldn't take and drink ANYTHING without getting sick. It was for trigeminal neuralgia, and I had to take it for the jaw pain, nothing else would work. I even tried just drinking so much that I didn't feel the pain and wouldn't need the medicine, but in the end, I just had to stop drinking all together. The pain was that bad and the mixture of the drug and the booze was just too much for me.

I bet it's how people feel when the drink on Antabuse, those pills that are supposed to make you stop drinking. If that stuff is half as potent as the tegretol that I was taking, I KNOW they wouldn't be drinking AND taking the pill. I had a job once where I had to give people their Antabuse because the court ordered verification that someone SAW them take it and we nurses did that. I really liked that job, I was young and most of my patients were guys my age who partied a LOT. I had no idea how sick those guys got when they drank on Antabuse, the tegretol made me hideously sick and that wasn't even made for drinking, it's made for seizures.

Then, one day the medicine stopped working and the pain was constant. I went to a neurosurgeon who evertully did brain surgery and found that I had a bunch of blood vessels wrapped around my trigeminal nerve. Oddly enough, my mother developed the same thing when she was in her early 60's. I got it in my 20's. They said that when a young woman gets it, it's usually a precursor to MS so I had to have scans every 6 months looking for the plaque that gets on your nerves with MS. Anyway, it was basically a structural thing and the doctor isolated the nerve and put a teflon mesh tube around it so that the blood vessels wouldn't impinge the nerve anymore.

And then, I didn't have to take the medicine anymore so what did that mean? It meant that I COULD DRINK AGAIN! But I soon learned that I had developed an aversion to alcohol and I couldn't stand to drink the stuff. I drink just often enough to remind myself not to do that again and Saturday was one of those nights. Usually, I can't finish the second drink, I just get sick and it doesn't taste good. But, every blue moon or something like that, I get "lucky" and I can put back a few. I mixed drinks and that was stupid. I started out with a Long Island Iced Tea and then switched to beer. And then, just for good measure, I knocked back a few Buttery Nipples. I did have a good time, but I sure as hell paid for it Sunday. I couldn't hold down stomach acid, much less food.

I just tried to sleep through it all and that worked pretty well since there was no one around to bug me. I would have hated to have anyone around, it was one of those, "Please, don't speak so loudly and WILL YOU TURN OFF THAT LIGHT!" It was awful. I kept dosing on and off on the couch and I woke up in the middle of the night and I still felt badly, but this morning I was fine.
I wasn't sloppy drunk, just stupid drunk. I put on some dude's jacket to get warm and I ended up leaving in it. I just totally stole his coat. So, somewhere out there, a guy named Wayne is cursing me as he shivers.

I'm going to publish this and then write more, I don't want to lose what I have so far.

BRB

Anyway, I am really excited about this real estate thing...what do you guys think? Does anyone know what the housing market is doing lately?

And, I'm working on my handbook, Infidelty for Dummies, on the blog that's not a blog, I add to it, I don't create new ones. I think that if you guys bugged me, I could get better motivated to work on that stuff, Solaris Gal did it already! I'm really motivated to earn a bunch of cash for my kids, but I have to be motivated to sit my ass down and write that thing.

I know it sounds stupid, but I ask my ancestor's for their help. So far that hasn't panned out but I sort of think we owe it to our ancestor's to be the best we can be. After all, they are the ones who survived throughout history...the strong ones. So, we all truly come from a very long line of survivors.

Well, I think that I should go to bed now. That is if my stupid boxer will get off of my bed. The old one can't get up there anymore but before she stopped doing it, she passed the little trick onto my boxer. He's a mutant large boxer and she's a german shepherd/some really huge dog mix. So, they both weigh more than I do. I have to feed 250 pounds of dog everyday.

Oh, I called the vet about Maggie (the old dog) and she said to just give her buffered aspirin so I have been. I can't tell if it's working or not yet. Damn, I just digressed like a mother fucker, I was on my way to bed.

I'll be back in the morning, probably before I call the real estate people. If anyone has any helpful hints, like how to spot a scam set-up, I would really appreciate the information!

OK then, nighty night!

Meg

Damn...

...the night went by quickly. I kept waking up from stupid dreams (yes, MORE of them!) and I thought the night was lasting forever but when I opened my eyes the last time, it was 8:30. I never sleep that late. I know that I was dreaming about Rick again but I don't remember what it was about, something derogatory I would think.

I've been trying to put the blog in some orderly fashion and it's been reminding me of things I had forgotten. My word processor is screwed up so the only way to do it right now is with another blog so I have been putting it in one of those. Right now it's at InfidelitiyForDummies@blogspot.com and it's NOT a blog. I add to it so the new stuff is at the bottom. I have been adding things as I remember them so there's stuff that isn't in the blog, but a LOT more of it is in my head right now. Last night while I was trying to fall asleep, I came up with a bunch of things to write but I didn't have the energy to get up and write it. I wanted to come here first so Hello!

All of the icky feelings that I had over 2 years ago are back now, even that hideous ache in the pit of my stomache. That's a good thing because I get a bit more caustic when I'm feeling like that and it makes for much better reading although it feels awful. I guess that's why I've been dreaming about Rick so much lately.

My son went out last night with a friend and brought his friend back to spend the night because "he had too much to drink to drive home". Well, wouldn't that mean that he shouldn't have driven here? Both of them are still in bed, my kid is taking the day off to go buy a new car. I don't know why his friend is here. I hate having strange men in my house unless I picked them out.

My older dog just collapsed on the floor and when I went to help her, I couldn't get her up. She hasn't been wanting to go outside lately and now I think it's because it hurts her too much to climb the 4 steps to get back into the house. Something tells me she isn't going to be around much longer.

How do you decide when a dog's life isn't good enough anymore? When I found her she was emaciated and her hair was falling off. She was pitful. I couldn't help but take her in and care for her. Now I think she's had about as much time as she's going to get. I just can't lift her up, she weighs more than I do. She does enjoy eating...that's about her only pleasure in life. And that dog will literally eat anything you put in front of her.

Well, I got her outside and now she's barking to come in but I know that'll mean that I will have to carry her up the stairs, damn it.

Anyway, what I thought right before I fell asleep last night was that during the Summer of Hell, the summer I was so sick and Rick was so cheating, sex changed from making love to shutting me up. I would complain that we hadn't made love in a long time and he would do me just to shut me up. I never thought of that until last night. He did me the night before he left, and he knew it would be the last time we would ever make love and he didn't tell me. I would have done a bit better had I known. I just thought it was another Thursday night in the sack.

So, from that thought I went to a bunch of other thoughts and before I knew it, I was dreaming about the bastard again. Tonight when I lay down I'm going to think about Michael Madsen. OK, I'm off to irritate myself further and write more about the mean man that I married.

Meg

Good morning!

I guess it's morning...if you're a farmer in Iowa. My son is still in bed but since I went to sleep so early last night, I couldn't sleep any later than 5 AM. I don't have a rooster, but if I did, I doubt he would be cock-a-doodle-dooing right now.

I think what woke me up when I did wake up was a dream. I was dreaming about visiting Rick and his family. His family was normal and he spent a lot of time away which gave me time to search the house. I didn't know who's shit was what so I wasn't sure what to destroy. I haven't dreamt of Rick since I don't remember so I'm not sure where that came from except maybe when I was cataloging the posts on this blog yesterday. I started at the beginning, January 2005, and got bored at March of the same year so I just went into my room to watch Seinfeld and then I fell asleep.

During the dream, all of the old emothions came flooding back in, I hate that. When he was here I would dream that he was cheating (little did I know) and I would wake up wanting to punch him in the head. Now I wish I had.

I've been trying to think of a way to put this blog into some sort of order and I think I've figured it out but it's close to 2,000 posts and I have to go over each and every one of them to decide which group they should go in. This is the second time I've gone back to read any of the earlier posts, the first time I was so shocked at what I had written that I wanted to delete things and I couldn't do that so I had to stop.

I'm not going to do that anymore but I sure could use a secretary...this is a LOT of blog I have here. I think I'm going to take the weekend to finish grouping the posts and then start putting them together into a story of sorts. I haven't decided whether to make it an actual diary or a how-to manual, like Infidelity for Dummies (or dumb wives?). Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Oh man, I have 3 mammals surrounding me in one big semi-circle so I better feed them and let them out. Then I have to shut down the stupid computer before it boots me and let it sit there and rest, it seems to like that. Then, I'll be back, probably when the sun is out.

See ya!

Meg

Meg...

"...Hopefully justice will prevail in this serious case..."

Me too of course, but I doubt that it will. I cannot imagine the jury coming back with a not guilty verdict simply because of emotion, but honestly, I didn't see any evidence of premediation at all. I think they were guilty of cruelty, torturing the kid and many other things...but not murder.

I don't think they should ever get out of prison, but the way the judge defined murder, it just didn't fit this case. Involuntary manslaughter, maybe...but not murder. I saw this case on Nancy Grace last night and finally learned what a glue stick is, you load a glue gun with it. It was a nasty little thing and I'm sure that it hurt like hell to be "licked" with one of those suckers.

Hey Meg, if you're so bored down there, come up north and see my two feet of snow. You can ski down my driveway for free.

I grew up in the Chicao suburbs and lived 30 miles from the Canadian border in Upstate New York so thank you, no. I've done my time in the Arctic Circle. I remember the blizzard of '67, we lived in an "L" shaped ranch that had the front totally engulfed in a snow drift. The snow was so deep that we could easily drag our sleds up to the roof in back and ride the sleds all the way to the street on the snow in front of the house. The snow was too deep to shovel so my father and brothers tunneled out. I remember pictures of my brother standing in a tunnel with a shovel and no teeth, he must have been 8. Oh, if it was 67, he WAS 8...DUH.

When I took the dogs out this morning, I was so cold that my nipples are STILL hard. Damn, it's almost March and it's colder here than it ever gets. I know that's not much to you Northerners...but trust me, we are suffering here as well, just without the beautiful snow. The best we ever get is an ice storm and those are a bitch. Nowhere near as pretty as snow, they keep the roads very dangerous and the grocery stores free of milk and bread, as though we would ever have any nasty weather that would last longer than a long weekend.

And better yet, you can talk to my prickhead lawyer instead of me so I don't break his fuckin neck.

Now you're talking! Lawyers aren't any smarter than the rest of us, they just have more education. I'd like to ask your wife's attorney this one, simple yet powerful question, "Why are we in court?" I assume you and your attorney made a decent settlement offer so I'd love to put them on the defensive immediately by simply asking why you are in court.

That works for anyone by the way. If someone asks you a stupid, nosey or embarrassing question, simply ask, "Why would you ask that?" They are immediately put on the defensive and that's where you leave them. If someone asks a stupid question, they have no answer as to why they asked it so you can just walk away while they're stumbling for an answer.

OK, last night, right before I left the house to go to work, I got a call from my son. He was in a car accident and thank God no one was seriously hurt...but his car was demolished. He loved that car and had it for years and years. It was a collector's edition Mustang and he'll never get back what it's worth.

Some nutty female made a left turn in front of him and he T-boned her. She was the only one cited in the accident so my son will eventually get over this, but right now he is one unhappy young man.

His face was covered with gun powder, I had no idea that the air bags were loaded with that stuff. He was riding with a friend and they were both saved by the air bags. There wasn't a thing he could have done to avoid the wreck and now he knows what I mean when I say, "Be careful!" every single time he leaves the house. As much as you may trust your own kid, you can't do a thing to stop them from coming in contact with idiots who don't know what they're doing.

He was soooo angry after the accident so I told him that maybe it was God's way of saving him from a dreadful, life threatening accident that may have occurred if he had kept driving straight and didn't get stopped by the accident. You just never know. So, as bad as this was, he DID get to come home last night so that's the important thing.

OK...now I'm working on an article for a newspaper and I can't get past the second paragraph so I have to go give it another try. I'll show it to you if I ever finish the stupid thing. This is the second time that I've written THIS post, the first time I lost it as I was just finsihing it...I could have screamed. OK then....now I'm going to finish the OTHER thing that I've got to finish!

Meg

Meg...

"...When I read that you gave this man your number, I wanted to scream NOOOOOOOOO!..."

Well, I thought about the danger involved but then it occurred to me that people who abuse children are usually cowards and rarely assault adults who can hit back. And...yes, it was difficult to be civil with the "man", but I wanted to talk to him and ask him for his side of the story.

Today was the closing argument phase of the trial and after lunch, the judge will give the jury instructions and then the case will go to the jury. So, for all intents and purposes, the trial is over. I can't discuss anything that the father and I spoke about until after the jury delivers it's verdict, I promised his attorney that.

Although I missed almost the entire trial, I did hear the closing arguments and that was upseting enough. First the prosecution got up and spoke. The DA went through all of the facts and what the exact charges were. At that point I saw the autopsy pictures and I wish that I hadn't. I was stunned at how emotionless the couple sat there as the prosecution described in detail all of the injuries that were on the child's body. She held up electric cords, belts, metal coat hangers and something called a "glue stick". I haven't ever seen one of them before, so I don't know what they are but it was about a foot long and appeared to be rather pliable. She said that the child was beaten with those things as a "weapon of choice" for the mother. She showed an empty "glue stick" bag that held 24 of them new and asked rhetorically, "How many licks would you need to inflict upon a child before one of them wore out?" They also mentioned that the father himself said that he "disciplined" the boy everyday.

The box/wicker basket was there as well, this time they had a life size replica of a child and they stuffed it in the box and slammed the lid shut saying, "That's how the boy got those bruises on his head and shoulder, when his mother slammed the box lid on top of him. When he tried to get out of the box, she tied it up with extension cords and had the older son help her do that. We know that from the older son's testimony."

The defense's main argument was that the boy had exzema and had scratched himself so much that he got a skin infection that led to sepsis and killed him. That was pretty much it. They then argued reasonable doubt and other technicalities. But, it's tough to get past the fact that the medical examiner, and other doctors as well, said that the "manner of death" was "homicide". That was pretty much it, they didn't argue much else at all.

Sitting hand in hand at the defense table, the parents remained stoic and emotionless until the prosecution's rebuttal which ended with the DA placing a birthday cake on the prosecution table, lighting 8 candles, singing Happy Birthday to Josef and then asking, "What's missing from this cake?" Then, she pulled another candle out of her pocket and said, "The ninth candle...Josef will never have a ninth birthday." At that point, the mother broke down and buried her head on her husband's chest, sobbing. The husband also looked as though he was crying.

When the courtroom cleared, I walked to the elevator and hit the down button. As I got on the elevator, I saw the mother and a group of women with her getting on the elevator with me. If I didn't know who the woman was, I would have thought that they were just a group of women heading to lunch during a work break. There wasn't any emotion then, instead the woman was joking with her friends and chatting about where they should eat lunch.

The couple looked so professional, you wouldn't have ever expected them to be murderers. Also, their home (which was shown in videotape) was a very nice one. It was quite a mess, but who knows if that was before or after the cops got done searching it. I hope it was before because the DA mentioned how messy the home was, showing bunk beds that had no room for anyone to sleep on. Anyway, appearances can be quite deceiving, the mother looked more professional than the DA herself did.

Oh, at one point, the DA said that the father told the older son that they "couldn't take Josef to the doctor because the parents would be taken to jail". With testimony like that, I'd be very surprised if there was anything other than a guilty verdict. I guess the only mystery left is whether they're guilty of murder or involuntary manslaughter. I doubt this will take very long at all. I'll let you know as soon as the verdict comes in.

So...that's my outing for today...I wonder what kind of trouble I'll get into tomorrow? Of course, it is still early...

Meg