I began this blog...

...when the wounds that my husband inflicted were fresh and raw. It's been a while now and I've gotten on with my life. I still occasionally mention what I went through but only when it serves to prove a point that I'm making regarding something a bit more topical than a 2 year old divorce.

Now, I find myself reading the blogs of others who are still smarting from the break up of their own marriages. I was comparatively lucky, my kids are grown and they have their own lives now. This divorce did not include the typical manipulation of the children and the use of them as living weapons against me...at least not as badly as it would have been if they were younger.

When I hear of situations in which a child is being used by one parent to abuse the other parent (which of course abuses the child more than anyone else), I get so angry that you'd almost think it was happening to me. Lately I've been trying to catch up with the blog of a gentleman whose wife is pulling a Kim Basinger on his child. I want to find that hideous wench (Basinger AND my friend's ex) and throttle her about face and then rip her pierced earrings out of her ears. Females like that give the rest of us a bad name and I'm pretty disgusted by them.

I've seen this man called "narcisistic" for missing his son and daring to mention it out loud. I've read his blog and I've read between the lines of his angry rants...recognizing the pain that evokes the words that he writes. Many people think that these fathers should just shut up, pay their child support and stay away. Others don't see what the problem is and they shout about how wrong Alec Baldwin is and how wrong my friend is and how we should "all just get along". That sickens me.

The problem with most of the people who complain about the fathers of divorce is that they have no idea what it feels like to be treated like an old McDonald's cup. They don't seem to get it...they get all sanctimonius and holier than though as though they would smile politely and let someone take THEIR child away.

There's no way that anyone could understand the pain of these fathers unless they've been through it themselves. Well, let me try to put it into some sort of perspective. Say you're watching TV one night after the kids have gone to bed. During one of the many commercial breaks, you decide to go check on your babies. When you open the bedroom door, you peak in to find the beds empty. Your children are gone, without notice and without so much as a big ol' hug around the neck from a little one who adores you.

First of all, how would you feel? Now, later you find out that the kids are safe, but you can't see them without going to court for years and years. Every stupid thing that you've ever done is thrown up into your face and should you dare to lose your temper at any point during this ordeal...that temper is turned against you during one of the court dates. How dare you act all angry...the person who is holding your children has decided that you are a BAD influence on your child. You've always been a loving parent, not a perfect person, just a regular, normal, human being. But every single thing that you've ever done is thrown in your face in front of some self-righteous judge, DFACS jack ass and "child counselor" that now has the power to say when you can and can't see your kids.

If you tell me that you would smile politely and say, "That's OK, I had some other things to do anyway...keep the kids.", I want to say YOU ARE FULL OF SHIT. You, like any other parent, whether that parent be another human or a father lion or even a mother grizzly bear, are going to do what comes to all parents instinctively...you're going to come out fighting with everything you've got for your child.

Anyone who has ever lost sight of their kids in the mall or at the grocery store knows that hideous feeling deep in the pit of your gut that you experience at the moment that you realize the child isn't right next to you. Try living with that feeling day in and day out for years and years.

We are born with an inate desire to protect our children. Nature, God, or whomever made us put that feeling in us so that we could protect our species. We're born with the will to fight to the death to save our children. THAT...we understand. What we are not born with is the ability to chat nicely with the people who have taken our children. We're born with the urge to kill if we have to...just to save our kids. But, in a divorce, that instinct doesn't help us at all. We have to find a way to hide that animal urge that is inate in all of us to protect our kids. Mothers and fathers alike have that urge. It sickens me when I see people who think that only mothers have that instinctive urge to be near their children. Fathers are as protective as mothers are and they deserve totally equal rights in child custody matters. Maybe a nursing mother could take priority, but once an infant is weaned...dad is just as capable as any mom. Period. I find it revolting that the courts refuse to recognize the love that a father has for his children.

Furthermore, I find it despicable that everyone jumps on the father who, after years of pleading with incompetent judges and nasty "mothers" like Kim "THE BITCH" Basinger, finally breaks down and loses it in public or on a video (or audio) tape. After years of being called a rotten father, without any evidence, just a lying wench's word...the father slips and makes some assinine comment. Now, the mother points to the father and says..."SEE! I told you he was an angry jerk!"

I hope that the Baldwin episode is the beginning of a new era in divorce litigation. I hope that the issue of Parental Alienation Syndrome will become as well known as the methods that females use to manipulate the courts when attempting to abuse the system in an attempt to hurt the fathers of their kids and the kids themselves. These selfish females are rarely the best parent for the kids because they NEVER have the child's best interests in mind. They think of nothing more than themselves and the child's feelings be damned.

I'm getting irritated just thinking about this crap. When you have some time, read this man's story, it's the story of one father out of millions of fathers who are out there aching for a chance to love their own children:

Domestic Relations Disaster: It's enough to drive someone crazy...

Yeah, it is enough to drive one crazy...at least it's enough to make one do something that they would never have thought of doing before their child went missing from their life.

When you hear people saying terrible things about a father...remember that sick feeling that you got when, even if it was just for a moment, your child was lost to you.

I shouldn't have to say this but I will. Obviously I am not talking about abusive situations...just the regular fathers out there who love their kids and want nothing more than to be with their children, even if it is only every other weekend.

Meg

By the way, don't tell me how abusive Baldwin was. That divorce has been going on for 6 years and this is the first time that Basinger has found anything to use against him. How far did she push him over the past 6 years to evoke such a reaction? I can only wonder.

I just got home from work...

...and I'm too exhausted to think of anything at all except going to sleep. So, since I didn't want you to have nothing Meggish for today, I decided to rerun a post that I wrote a couple of years ago. Here it is:

Oh my word...

...Funny we were just speaking about Fahrenheit 451 and the way that Bradbury was warning us about a time when everything that is said or written is offensive to someone, I made the point that WE ARE AT 451!

Well, this evening I heard on the news that Ireland is banning the word “brainstorming” because it may offend epileptics. But, don’t worry, they have a replacement idiom for those who might dare to brainstorm and then discuss it.... “Thought showers.” Some of you have heard that as well and the rest of you are thinking that I must be making this up. Oh, I wish I were...it’s pretty funny until you realize that someone is serious about this. They took time out of the job that they get paid to do and they made the decision that to brainstorm was an offensive thing. Well, I submit that these people have a brain cloud and far too much spare time on their hands.

Besides, they have stopped far short of their mission. There is still the possibility that some thoughtless dietician might see fit to serve kidney beans to a dialysis patient or liver and onions to someone with sclerosis. And how dare we worry about the “legs” on our tables while so many people have casts on their own lower appendages. We should have “artichoke focal points” instead of artichoke hearts and “lady digits” instead of lady fingers in case an arthritic cardiac patient should read a menu. While we make those changes, we should also strike sweet onions (diabetics), Po’ Boys (welfare recipients) and jelly rolls (men with love handles) as well. We also need to stop using terms like “Flaky Pastry Dough, (that one offends me personally) “pot roast”...might give the kids ideas. And one more thing: Don’t you think that “fruit” and “nuts” are outmoded, archaic utterances? And how could we be so insensitive as to use the word “bladder” right out loud instead of “receptacle of a liquid” while so many women are buying Depends nowadays? And you know, I have hay fever so I resent being given a “nose gay”...what would a lesbian with a cold think of such a thing?

My legs were very long and very thin when hot pants were fashionable and I consider it an affront to hear the word “sticks”. It takes me back to a time that I would just as soon forget. I think I should discuss this with an attorney, nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen, nobody knows my sorrow.

There is very little verbal territory that wouldn’t be offensive to someone, I think we should use hand signals from now on rather than to risk being attacked by daily onslaughts of such dogmatist terms as short ribs, ugly ducklings and heavy duty.

I think things have gone a bit too far when a man can lose his job and reputation after using a term like “niggardly” simply because it SOUNDS like an offensive term. Oh, wait, the “N” word can’t be offensive, so many minorities use the word themselves. Chris Rock can say it over and over again in one evening but I would imagine that Jerry Seinfeld would have a tough time working it into a joke. So, people aren’t really censoring the word itself, they are actually just censoring who can and cannot say it with immunity.

What an interesting world it is that we live in.

Well, I hope that those Irish folks are doing well after their Thought Shower...I for one feel safer knowing that such an inflammatory word has been replaced. I’m sure that the English language is now safe and sensitive....yeah, fat chance. Ooh...my bad...did I just offend overweight people? Yikes, I'll have to be more thoughtful in the future.

Have a lovely day!

Meg

JQ...

...Did you just give away some important info with this comment?

"C:\Documents and Settings\[userid]\Application Data\[vendor]\[pgm]\" in Vista this has moved to C"\USERS\[userid]\APPDATA\[Mode]\[Vendor]\[pgm]\".

I suppose that anyone who could hack into a puter would already know that. What I really don't get is why in the world people would go out of their way to fuck up a strangers' computer. I just don't understand the thrill there. Am I missing something? What would they gain from that?

Meg, it's common knowledge that porn sites are full of spyware, which will make your puter crash constantly.

Apparently you're right. It was also common knowledge at Montgomery Ward's that Rick was screwing Noreen Murray...but I didn't know that either.

So Rick might not be guilty, or maybe he was. Only the hard drive knows for sure. Oh and what a treasure trove of data windows leaves behind.

Oh, he was. I followed the highlighted links that he had taken to find free porn. I doubt that he would pay for it...but obviously I didn't know him as well as I thought I did. I still have the hard drive that he left behind...I DARE you to come and show me what else was on that sucker! I DOUBLE DARE YOU! (See photo below)

Never cheated, even when she treated me like crap. Quit the party life before marriage. Always provided well, even when our little company went bust. And here's my payback. Two years and counting in court. Help me understand that one Meg.

Well dude, I would if I could but I can't so I won't. You're asking someone who was dumped on as badly as you were. I gave him close to 25 years of my life that I'll never get back. That's my LIFE we're talking about. I never, ever would have given my life to someone that I wasn't planning on spending all of it with. I let the affairs go because I vowed before God that I would stay with him for my entire life. Like a jack ass, I thought that if our marriage survived the affairs, it would be stronger for it. How's that for stupidity?

I just got a call from the scheduler at work and they need me to work again tonight. I already know that I'm working tomorrow night so this will be a long stretch for me. My contract calls for me to work 60 hours a month. I work that most weeks. Our hourly wage is based upon the number of hours we commit to work. I'm going to change my contract to 108 hours a month. That would add 10 bucks an hour to my wage. I've been thinking about it for a while now and I like the idea. If I did that...the extra $10 an hour would pay for my taxes so that I would actually make the amount that I'm making now only without any deductions. I don't have much else to do with my time, I might as well work my ass off. I like my job...a LOT.

The only problem is that I feel as though I'll never get to play with my new computer. Or maybe I will, but it won't be new anymore. Sniff, sniff...sniff-sniff.

OK...that means that I have to go to bed now. I had planned on hooking my camera up to this sucker (without any sound, I never did find my mic.) but now I don't have the time.

YIKES!!! I just looked at the time! I have to get up in 5 hours...good night ya'll!!!

Meg

OK, the following post is the same as this one...I couldn't fix it so I reprinted it...skip forward to go to the next post. I hope this works!!!!

JQ...

...Did you just give away some important info with this comment?

"C:\Documents and Settings\[userid]\Application Data\[vendor]\[pgm]\" in Vista this has moved to C"\USERS\[userid]\APPDATA\[Mode]\[Vendor]\[pgm]\".

I suppose that anyone who could hack into a puter would already know that. What I really don't get is why in the world people would go out of their way to fuck up a strangers' computer. I just don't understand the thrill there. Am I missing something? What would they gain from that?

Meg, it's common knowledge that porn sites are full of spyware, which will make your puter crash constantly.

Apparently you're right. It was also common knowledge at Montgomery Ward's that Rick was screwing Noreen Murray...but I didn't know that either.

So Rick might not be guilty, or maybe he was. Only the hard drive knows for sure. Oh and what a treasure trove of data windows leaves behind.

Oh, he was. I followed the highlighted links that he had taken to find free porn. I doubt that he would pay for it...but obviously I didn't know him as well as I thought I did. I still have the hard drive that he left behind...I DARE you to come and show me what else was on that sucker! I DOUBLE DARE YOU! (See above photo)

Never cheated, even when she treated me like crap. Quit the party life before marriage. Always provided well, even when our little company went bust. And here's my payback. Two years and counting in court. Help me understand that one Meg.

Well dude, I would if I could but I can't so I won't. You're asking someone who was dumped on as badly as you were. I gave him close to 25 years of my life that I'll never get back. That's my LIFE we're talking about. I never, ever would have given my life to someone that I wasn't planning on spending all of it with. I let the affairs go because I vowed before God that I would stay with him for my entire life. Like a jack ass, I thought that if our marriage survived the affairs, it would be stronger for it. How's that for stupidity?

I just got a call from the scheduler at work and they need me to work again tonight. I already know that I'm working tomorrow night so this will be a long stretch for me. My contract calls for me to work 60 hours a month. I work that most weeks. Our hourly wage is based upon the number of hours we commit to work. I'm going to change my contract to 108 hours a month. That would add 10 bucks an hour to my wage. I've been thinking about it for a while now and I like the idea. If I did that...the extra $10 an hour would pay for my taxes so that I would actually make the amount that I'm making now only without any deductions. I don't have much else to do with my time, I might as well work my ass off. I like my job...a LOT.

The only problem is that I feel as though I'll never get to play with my new computer. Or maybe I will, but it won't be new anymore. Sniff, sniff...sniff-sniff.

OK...that means that I have to go to bed now. I had planned on hooking my camera up to this sucker (without any sound, I never did find my mic.) but now I don't have the time.

YIKES!!! I just looked at the time! I have to get up in 5 hours...good night ya'll!!!

Meg

I've found the first problem with this PC...I can't for the life of me get the post to put spaces between the paragraphs...I've edited it 5 times and it won't stay edited. I just don't understand things like that...does anyone out there know why this won't save?

Oh yeah!

That's what we were talking about! Solaris reminded me when she commented:

"..hmmm I wonder.... what was the reason your puter was screwed up in the first place...hmmm I wonder, no really... ROTFLOL..."

When we first got my old computer, it worked great, for about 2 weeks. Then, it started slowing down, screwing up and just plain booting me off. All I could think of was the stupid programs that Rick had downloaded to "protect" the puter. No one in the house was dumb enough to open email from a stranger, no one did anythig particularly stupid, as far as I knew. All it could have been was the anti-virus crap...right? Well, apparently not.

It seems as though a mutual buddy of mine and Solaris's bought a new computer and her boyfriend quickly trashed it by going to porn sites. I didn't know that was an option. If I had, I would have realized the problem immediately.

Although Rick denied that he ever did such things, there are 2 things going against him here. First, he's a big, fat liar. Second, I once left the house to go to the store and when I got to my car, I realized that I had forgotten something. I went back to the house (I hadn't been gone for more than 3 minutes.) and when I walked into the bedroom, I found Rick in there whacking off to the half ass reception of a cable porn channel that we didn't get. Twisted, slanted, snowy women with moans interspersed with the staticy sound that you get on those channels had enchanted my husband so much that he just couldn't help himself. I guess he was just waitinhg for me to leave the house so that he could run into the room to "meet" his dates for the afternoon, Francis Fuckme and Brenda Blowjob. If I were him, I would have watched until he drove away instead of plopping his ass down in the middle of our room with his back to the door. I watched for a moment dumbfounded while I took in the amazing sight.

I did catch a few porn sites on the OTHER computer and Rick had promised (LOLOLOLOLOL) that he wouldn't do that anymore.

So, that is my evidence, members of the jury. Yes, that man of mine was trashing the computers with his wild and crazy "almost" women. I think I'll put a sign up on my desk reminding everyone that this is a porn-free computer. I'll hook up the old one for all the horny bastards that can't seem to get real women and leave it in the back bedroom. MY computer is perfect and it's going to STAY that way!

OK...I have to get ready for work now...see you all in the morning! And remember, JUST SAY NO TO PORN....online or on some fucked up sex channel that you don't get!

See ya!

Meg

Of all the days...

...to end up working late, I didn't get out until after 9 this morning. I walked home...it seemed like a good idea at the time. After the second mile, my knee started hurting so I called my father to keep my mind off the pain. So, it took me 45 minutes to get home. What a lovely day to hobble down the street. I won't be doing that again anytime soon.

So, here I am, sitting at my beautiful new computer and I'm far too tired to do anything but explain to you why I haven't hooked up the camera yet. I wanted to use the camera that I already had but I can't find the microphone. I need to buy a new one with a mic built in.

OK then, I'm exhausted and I have to wake up in 6 hours to go back to work. I don't work tomorrow night so I will be able to play with this thing tomorrow...maybe I'll go out and get the camera too.

I must now go take my swollen knee and lie it down at one end of the couch and lie my head at the other end. Oh, Solaris, it's a Hewlitt Packard monitor with a Compaq computer. I was going to talk about our converstaion yesterday but I'm too tired to remember what we spoke about. OK then, ya'll have a great weekend...I'm going to bed now.

Meg

I'm really, really getting frustrated...

...I have to work tonight and I don't even know how to open the stupid box. I'm afraid I'll break something. It's a nice box...but it's huge. I have to wait for my son to get home to hook it up and when he DOES get home, I will be walking out the door to go to work so now I won't be able to so much as look at my new computer until tomorrow.

Damn, this is like being a kid on Christmas Eve and the tree is surrounded with presents that I can't open. Actually, it's worse because this box isn't wrapped up, I know what's in it, I paid for it myself, I'm 48 years old and I STILL can't open it! Oh well, I guess I can be an adult and wait until I get home in the morning. Of course then I'll have to go to sleep because I have to work again tomorrow night.

When I get home, if the kid set it all up properly, I'll make my first video as soon as I walk in the door. I will have been working all night and I'll look like crap...but the first cartoons didn't look that great either. The more I think about it the more I realize that I will be sleeping and working all weekend so my kid will be playing with MY new toy all weekend. Sniff, sniff.

I have to take a shower and make sure my uniform is ready, I'll be back after I get everything ready so that I can just relax for a while before I go in to work. I'll be back in a little bit. I haven't even watched the news yet so if something happened since I last saw the news I might run back here and talk about it...if this stupid computer will let me.

Oh, someone made a comment down there somewhere that he hadn't heard of Parental Alienation Syndrome until recently. It was identified by Dr. Douglas Darnell and it is a true syndrome and a very sad, sad thing to see. It's also thought to be relatively uncurable at some point so it's important that fathers (or mothers) not let it happen, or at least fight like a mongrel if you see it starting.

OK, see ya!

Meg

I did it...

...I bought myself a new computer. There's one small hang up, I don't get it until tomorrow. I did buy it, paid in full, but the Circuit City guys are going to put all the software on the thing and they also have to fix the computer so that it will allow me to use a web cam with it. The PC that I bought has Vista for an operating system and for some reason, that isn't compatible with web cams. So, they'll do something to it that will let me use one.

I paid extra to have the computer all ready for me to just plug in. I can do that. They're also going to be putting the security stuff on it and a few other things that I wanted. Basically, they're installing all the software that I bought tonight. Rick used to work at the Circuit City service center so I said that I was his wife and the guy remembered him. He worked with him at the service center but obviously he quit before Rick got arrested on the job for being violent...now that I think of it, they went there twice. Once for popping me in the face and the other time, he threw a table at me as I was running away from him. He had pulled all the phones out of the wall but, unbeknownst to either of us, the first 911 call went through so the cops came anyway. It was the Monday after my Friday cancer surgery and in the struggle, blood was oozing from my incision which was on my neck and the cops thought that he had slit my throat. They took one look at my bloody neck, my bloody leg and my pathetically emaciated body and then they looked at my 6'2", 230 pound husband and took him away toot sweet.

Anyway, I told the guy that I was Rick's wife (Rick, Sahad says hello.) and they said that they would have it ready first thing in the morning. The guy said that he would start it tonight and pick it up as soon as he gets in tomorrow. I need to pick it up as early as possible because I have to work tomorrow night so I need to take a nap in the afternoon.

All together, everything that I bought cost me a little over $1,100 but there's well over $300 in rebates so I guess it'll end up costing me a tad over $800. A computer dude friend of mine is going to take the old computer, wipe out the hard drive or something like that so that I can give it to my son.

I can't wait for it to be up and running! I bought the components seperately because I wanted a certain monitor that was high definition and large. It's almost twice as wide as this thing. They didn't have that one in stock so I have to go to another store tomorrow and pick it up. It's not too far from the store that has my computer so it's not a big deal. That monitor was just too cool...I couldn't even think about getting a smaller one after I saw that one. The picture was so unbelievably good that I just had to have it.

Oh well, I can't use my new puter tonight...sniff...but by the weekend I will be coming to you in person with that web cam. For now...I'm going to look up Vista and see what operating system I bought.

See ya soon!

Meg

I give up...

...I hate my computer so it's history. I'm going shopping for a new one this afternoon. My only problem is that I don't know how to hook the sucker up. I was able to figure out VCR's...maybe I'll be able to figure out how to hook up a computer.

The only things I want off of this computer are some pictures and some things that I wrote in the word processor. Does anyone know how to save things like that? I can save the stupid PC and stick it in another room but that seems like an awful lot of trouble to save pictures and articles. I'd rather put those things on the new one.

Anyway, I'm going to ask the sales person for a computer that would allow me to make videos that I can put on the blog. I don't know what that is, but I want one. So, if I can get the new computer hooked up tonight, I should be making videos tomorrow.

I'm almost afraid to even go behind the desk and try to unplug this dumb thing. Rick hooked it up and nobody has so much as touched the wiring since. I suppose I can do it all myself, but it may take me a month or so to figure it out. Anyway, I'm about to go and get ready to go out and get the new computer so if anyone knows how to save things off of this one, let me know soon.

Before I leave, I'm going to wander around online to see who has the best sales right now so I can go straight to that store. OH! A thought just occurred to me...once I pull out this desk, I'll have to clean behind it! Oh damn, I'm not going to have a good evening. Whatever, I can't keep fighting with this computer, I spend more time trying to sign on than I actually spend online. I would love to beat this one with a baseball bat.

OK then...I'll be back after I get my new computer hooked up but I will be looking to see if anyone knows how to save stuff. I need to save the stuff that's in 2 programs, the picture program and the word processor.

See ya soon!

Meg

By the way...

...I was wondering how long it would take before Hillary started acting like the next "black" President. She's done it. While speaking to a crowd of black peole, she changed her accent to sound like a homegirl. I would find that to be extremely offensive if I were a black woman. We'll know that the campaign is in full swing when Hillary and BJ Billy start going to churches (black and white) and coming out arm in arm.

Watch for Hillary...she's coming to a church near YOU!

Meg

Meg...

"...In fact, I'm not afraid of life itself - just like you told me, "life is not always good, you have your good and your bad, and your good and your bad..."And you're damned right! Let me take life as it's handed to me, I can do it..."

Yeah, that's something I figured out relatively early in life. Things go horribly wrong and sooner or later, you get past the bullshit. Life is sweet for a week or two then something new and improved comes along to smack you in the face. That, too, will disappear only to be replaced by another disaster. We pretty much live our lives from one disaster to another and then we die. That's not meant to sound defeatist, it's just the way it is. It's how you handle these uproars in your life that make a difference.

When I was a kid, my mother hung a plaque made by her mother made that had the Serenity Prayer on it. I read it a thousand times as a kid before I understood it. It's truly a good thing to remember when you go out and face the world every day of your life.

I meet people, mostly Type A personalities, who are constantly worrying about something. I can't stand to be around them. They worry about bills that need to be paid, they worry about their jobs or their housework...anything that they think needs tending. If there's something that you can do to fix your concern, by all means, fix it. If there just isn't a damn thing that you can do, fuck it. To do more and to worry often is so non-productive. You could accomplish a college degree with all of the worry you put into things that you couldn't possibly change.

Life is a challenge, that's all. Sometimes it's more challenging than others, but it's rarely easy. A deep breathe and a good book will cure many an ulcer if you let them. I guess since I've always worked with dying people, old people or just plain sick folk, I see how bad life could be so the stupid stuff isn't so hard to deal with. If you have your health, you truly have everything because as long as you're healthy, you can always start over and stalk your goals like a madman. Anything you want is yours...if you want it badly enough.

"...Meg, I am so sorry that you have to go through this, believe me, it is not my intention to see you get cursed/yelled at and falsely accused..."

That's exactly the stupid stuff to which I was referring. I left home when I was 18 and ever since then I've been married to 3 men who cheated on me, a couple of rather abusive bastards and I've suffered a few serious illnesses. I've had brain surgery (talk about a headache!) and I was given a 50-50 shot at survival twice. I've buried 2 of the most important people in my life, one of them being my mother. Do you really think that this crap is even a blip on my radar?

When I was raising the kids alone and going to college, people asked me how I did that. My answer was, "I just put the blinders on and do what has to be done." It worked when I was 23 and it works now. Of course, sometimes I have to remind myself of these things, but for the most part, I'm pretty thick skinned.

So, don't worry about her bugging me, I surely don't. I told you that my father is an attorney and he tells me what to do to protect myself in any situation that I happen to be facing. I do what he says and then I watch Jeopardy.

Although I wouldn't do this at night, yesterday when I got home from work, I laid down on my couch and fell asleep immediately. I didn't expect to fall asleep that quickly so I didn't shut the front door. I slept for 7 hours on my couch, in my living room, with the door wide open and the phone 20 feet away from me. No one would get past my dog so I know that I was safe, but I put so much of my bullshit in the hands of someone else so that I don't worry too much.

And, I don't wish anyone harm, I don't have to. I don't have to retaliate because I know personally that karma is a bitch and life is as much of a bitch if not more so. It's not just me, no one is immune to the ups and downs of life. So, when you worry that some nit wit is getting the best of you...forget about it. Life will be as "challenging" to them as it has been to you.

"...It's more than a game for her. You, Sol, and whoever else need to cut her off..."

I've taken steps to protect myself, it would be counter-productive to blog about them. But trust me, I'm good here. JQ is right, this isn't a game for the nut. She is totally obsessed with everything Solaris. There's only 1 possible reason, that behavior is better than her other option. She either lives her life happily and gets her fulfillment from that or she does this insane crap. She had a choice to make and she weighed her options. This was the best she could come up with. So, obviously, her life is not good enough to provide her the satisfaction that she needs so she's come up with this twisted game. She seems to want something that Solaris has...maybe it's a marriage license, maybe it's just decency. But she certainly doesn't have enough to do with her own life so she seeks to fill in those gaps with nasty, mean and psycho behavior. Does that bug me? Nope. I don't think about it when I'm not on the blog.

You know, I've been hearing a LOT of support for Alec Baldwon lately. That truly makes me feel so optimistic about father's rights. We seem to have needed a famous person to bring this hideous issue to the forefront (Parental Alientaion Syndrome) and perhaps now the country will hear more about it. I know what Alec did was over the top but I also know how a person can be provoked into doing things they NEVER would have done when they're being treated so unfairly. JQ mentioned a time in court when he made a comment that he thought was descriptive and it was taken as rather threatening. He's a reasonable guy...what could anger him so much? Like we mothers, fathers will do what they can to be with their kids. I don't know what in the world makes a mother think that she has parental rights and feelings while the father has none. If someone tried to keep my kids away from me...I'd be more than upset and I would surely say something that would offend someone. Anyone who thinks they are above Baldwin's behavior just hasn't been pushed enough...yet. So, don't throw too many rocks at him, your next house may be made of glass.

OK, now I have some work to do and then I'll pop back in. My dog seems to miss my other dog. he has taken to spending a LOT of time in his kennel. He's always gone in their to take a nap, but he's never spent so much time in there. I have to get him and take him for a walk to the Battlefield and let him have some fun today. I wish the skies weren't so overcast, but they might clear up this morning. I'll be back in a while.

See ya!

Meg

Meg...

"...I really want to get folks's opinions. So I'll sum up my question from my blog - if a woman is assertive and strong and opinionated, why do other woman mentally classify her as a bitch?..."

First of all, there is a difference between an assertive, strong woman and a bitch. I admit to being a bit of both but I know when I'm being a bitch as compared to being an assertive woman. I guess you'd need to define the terms here.

Although some people do call an assertive woman a bitch, most of those people are intimidated and they don't know how to handle being intimidated, especially not by a woman. So many people are used to seeing women be relatively mild. When they see a strong one, they aren't used to it and they don't understand it so she MUST be a bitch...right? Otherwise the other person has to admit the truth...that this is a woman who speaks her mind and the people who do call her a bitch ARE intimidated by her. It's always easier to blame someone else for one's own shortcomings.

I think that a bitch is a person who does things strictly to hurt a person. It's perfectly fine to be assertive, strong and opinionated...to a point. I tried to raise my daughter to be a strong woman without turning her into a bitch. It worked quite well. Once you can no longer honestly rationalize why you're doing what you're doing...you might want to consider the fact that you just might be a bitch.

A bitch does things for one reason and one reason only, to inflict pain of some sort on another person. Our resident bitch here has been calling a friend's job and harrassing her boss. There's no reason for that. It's not like my friend is a waitress who forgot to bring a fork, this is a woman whose husband the bitch stole, that's all. Why would she take time out of her day to do things like this? No other possible reason except to inflict embarrassment and try to get our friend fired from her job. Only a bitch would do that...there's not a damn thing assertive or strong about her behavior.

Motive pretty much tells you whether you're a bitch or a strong woman. If your motive is a reasonable one that helps you and doesn't hurt anyone else, you aren't a bitch...you're a strong woman.

You mentioned "women calling other women" bitches. I don't think it matters whether or not it's a woman or a man doing the name calling, it's not a nice thing to say about someone else. Some people use the word often and call EVERYONE a bitch and then some use the word correctly. I like to think that I use the word correctly...even when it's me doing the bitchy stuff.

The bitch that I was speaking of is most assuredly a bitch. She gets angry at her elderly in-laws when they speak to me. I have to speak to these poor people and then keep it a secret because if I don't, the nut will complain to everyone that will listen to them. She has always been manipulative of my children and she's just plain nuts. You'll have to trust me on this one, I wouldn't want to get her to prove it.

So, what do other women out there think? For that matter, what do the men think? So much has to do with the way you were raised so not everyone is going to find the word as offensive as others may find it. How do you folks define a bitch as opposed to an assertive woman?

Now...every bit of me aches from working all night and I'm exhausted so I'm going to lie on the couch and stare at the ceiling.

See ya later!

Meg

A blog buddy writes:

"...However, I do know that men can and will alienate their children from women as well. I have been legally kept from my children with NO VISITATION for SIX YEARS! False accusations and what appears to be political connections were my estranged husbands silver bullet!..."

Yes ma'am. That's why I try to qualify every comment with, "I know that the other sex can do it too, but this is MY experience." So, I know exactly what you mean. I never forget that there are 2 sides to that situation.

I'm just curious, girl...was there a female involved in any way? My other ex and I got along great after the divorce. Hell, we signed our divorce papers at a lovely resort where we spent the occasion....for a long weekend. We got along just great. If the kids needed anything, he saw to it that they had it. Whatever, no problems.

Then, when he was 34, he married a 16 or 17 year old. She was so dreadfully jealous of me that she behaved like a...TEENAGER! I gave her time to grow up...didn't work one bit. I thought, wait until she has a baby...but, once again, it only got worse, now she wanted everything for HER child. And the really insane thing is that this nut and I have never, ever lived in the same state since she met my ex. AND...I havn't seen her since my daughter's high school graduation and that was in 1997. She STILL can't stand me. I seem to frighten the poor thing.

So, although my ex is the one who really messed me up, just remember that behind every asshole of a man stands a bitch of a female. So, I repeat my original question...Was there a female involed?

Meggers

I thought that I...

...had taken my phone number off of this thing but a little wopig seems to have found it. There are some people from whom I don't mind hearing and there are some people from whom I'd rather not hear. The worst of all people to hear from is anyone calling me drunk.

Solaris' little wopig has taken to sucking down massive quantities of liquor and then proceeding to call innocent sober people. I hate when that happens. Especially when a person is too drunk to reason with.

There was no reasoning with this whacked out drunk...so I hung up. I had to do this about 6 times before she stopped. At first it was sort of funny because I was insulting her well. But, my insults fell on deaf ears and I didn't want to waste any of my best stuff on that fool.

See ya!

Meg

I called my supervisor...

...and told her that I was ready to go back on the schedule full time. I may regret that soon, but I do love my work. I've had jobs where I would wake up and start scamming a way out of work while I was in the shower. This job is great, I never know where I'll work next and I've had enough experience to go pretty much anywhere in the hospital. One of the nurse managers did put me on her schedule 3 days a week so I will be working on that unit quite a bit.

They have different levels of pay scales at my job, your pay is based upon the hours you commit to working. I had been working the top number of hours for the 2nd lowest level of pay because I was afraid to commit myself to too many shifts. This time, I'm going to go straight to the top. I figure that would at least pay for my taxes. It's amazing how much they take out.

After the holidays I went to working only the hours that my contract said I had to so that I could slow down for a while. Now I have and the weather's nice so I'm going back to busting my ass. At least I'll be working nights. That's not as easy as it could be, but it is easier than working days when the docs and the bosses are all over the place.

If I can, I'm also going to go back to school soon. I may start this summer or next fall for sure. I'm pretty degreed out in nursing so I may actually go to law school. I was discussing that with my father. I love having a goal like that...it keeps me going when nothing else will. That's how I went to nursing school with 3 pre-school aged kids. People used to ask me how I did it. I would say, "I just put on the blinders and do what needs to be done."

Remember when I said (a few times) that I accomplished more as a single woman than I ever have as a married woman? Well, I'm going to do that again. I don't know how long I have to do it but I'm gonna give it my best shot. I'd have some help from family members, my father was an attorney, my son and my brother are both in law school, there are enough lawyers in this family to defend the mob. We could form a small law firm just with the family alone.

They say that living well is the best revenge...which is true but I think that they should add "great success" to that old adage. By the time I'm finished, I'll be doing so well that Rick will wonder how he ever got a woman like me in the first place. He's a nice guy (now that I don't expect anything out of him except cash) so I guess he'll be fine....but I'll be great!

OK, I have to go to the damned DMV today and then I need to take a nap so that I can work all night. I'll be back before I leave for work unless my day goes completely haywire...but I should have a chance to pop in at some point. Have a great day and (as I used to tell my kids when they left for school in the mornings), "Act like you're somebody!"

Meg

So much for working whenever I want to...

...I was working so many hours last year that I had to cut back the hours that I was working out of pure exhaustion. I spoke to my doctor and he said that I could work as much as I felt able to. That's the first time that I've had his permission to work in 3 years. Now I can work at that hospital without being afraid that I would run into him. And, I want to save up the cash to go to Europe soon.

So, I called the schedulers and told them to put me back on the schedule. One of the nurse managers that I work for quite a little bit has asked if I could work 3 nights a week on her unit like a regular nurse instead of a floating nurse. But, I would still get paid for being an agency nurse. It's a unit that I like so I said yes. That means that I'll be back to working like a fiend.

It also means that I will be traveling, finally.

OK, now I have to act like I'm working a LOT this week and clean up my house. See ya later!

meg

Help me Rhonda...

...some anonymous...how can I say this nicely...troubled soul wrote a nasty comment after a father used his own personal web journal to voice his feelings. The guy does what we all do, he shares experiences and he discusses how he feels about things. This blog community does that. That's why we all know each other. But every so often, some loser wanders in and leaves a stupid comment like this one:

Read your posts over and count how many times you talk about your feelings, your wants and your needs. (Of course, this is exactly what the blog is for. Someone said to me once, "You act like that blog is one of the most important things in your life!" I responded, "So what if it is? How does that affect you?" That shut his ass up.)

Narcissm at it's finest.You have chosen the martyr role. And yet, you cannot look away. What kind of idiot comes to a blag and whines that they don't like it? Do they also buy tickets to movies they don't like? What a pion.

You get off on the fight.If you had agrred to provide a living wage to your child..that is child support and agreed to some basic ground rules you would have an adult mature relationship but you couldn't. Because you are a martyr horribly wronged. There was never any evidence that this man was anything but an honorable man so this whacko is speaking from a false premise. If someone manipulated my relationship with my kids, I would be a VERY VOCAL VOICE IN THIS COUNTRY.

Try just giving in, stop fighting. What kind of father would he be if he gave up on his own kid? You expect the impossible and whine when you don't get it.

Every time you engage with your lunatic ex you hand her ammuntion. Women like that don't need ammunition, they're already fully loaded.

If you stop she has to because she wont have anyone to play with anymore.It takes two dysfunctional people to create such a mess. That's a crock of shit. One totally whacked out ex can single handedly make life miserable for all involved.

How about you try on a new persona? Try being the one that doesn't want to fight anymore? Obviously this yahoo has no children so she must not know it, parents do not give up on their kids.

Don't give me that martyrs whine about how your dear son will feel abandoned. His son knows that he loves him, he's ALWAYS there for him. You need to travel on to another blog.

...Take it from someone who lived through two ridiculous asshole parents who couldn't stop telling everyone they were only doing this because they loved their kid while making said kid miserable with the never ending fight.i hate both my parents now and I haven't spoken to them in twenty years. Just because they loved me soooo much. Oh, well that explains it. You're a miserable hag and you have no business being so mean to a total stranger. If you don't like what he says, get lost.

Geez, there are so many morons out there!

See ya,

Meg

Here are some pictures...

....from the Aquarium. The first one is the kids watching the jelly fish:

This one is just a bunch of fish.

This is a BIG fish:

This is Grandma and Granddaughter matching pony tails:

This is a HUGE tank:

OK, that's all that it will let me upload right now. I'm lucky it let me do this much. What a touchy ass computer I have.

Meg

Good morning!

I had a great weekend playing with the kids. I literally played with them the entire time they were awake and slept with them at night. We played a card game that's easy for them, we called it Concentration and just tried to match cards laid out in rows and columns. The girl was so good playing that game that I decided to try to play Battleship with her. My son helped her for a bit and then he went to the bathroom.

When he got back, I was trying to sink a very long ship that never seemed to sink. She screwed it all up while he was gone so we just played Go Fish.

Then, yesterday we went to the Aquarium where the boy looked at the crabs and said, "Look! I eat those at the buffet!!! Do we get to eat them, too?!" I told him we couldn't eat those but if we caught a jelly fish he could eat that. He didn't want any jelly fish, even after I told him they tasted like chicken.

You know what would be interesting? They could somehow genetically alter the jelly fish using DNA from peanuts and we would get peanut butter and jelly fish!

OK, I'm gonna publish this, come back and write more and then publish that. This is in case my stupid PC boots me. I have to stay a couple of steps ahead of it or it will catch me unaware. BRB

Late last night that nit wit guy who I dumped last week called to say that what I did wasn't "fair". He actually believes he still has a chance. He must be the kind of guy who breaks up with you whenever you have a fight. They never mean what they say. I, on the other hand, always mean what I say. So, as I told fat boy...."I didn't say it was fair, I said that's the way it is...Gotta go, bye."

Then, just to be safe I turned off the phone. Nobody else would have called me that late so I wasn't worried. OH! That reminds me, I changed my phone greeting. I'm not sure that my father will like it anymore than he did the old one but I like it. It goes like this: "Hello. If this is an Emergency, please hang up and dial 911. If not, leave a message."

I never say I'll call back...but people seem to love leaving messages. I never even listen to them. Right now there are 22 messages on my answering machine and I don't know who any of them are from. I do check my caller ID...I always did. But now all the people who wanted me to get an answering machine have one to speak to. My dad wanted me to have one so badly that he gave me one for Christmas. (You know, there was a REASON that I didn't want one of those.) There were other people complaining that I didn't have one as well. I hope they're all happy now. They get to leave a message. I won't ever hear the messages, but I'm not the one who wanted to hear them in the first place.

I guess he thought he had me when I finally got call waiting, which I didn't want either. It was so important to people and now I can't complete a conversation without saying, "Hold on, let me see who that is..." I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!

Oh well, there's too much new stuff nowadays. If an educated person from the 50's showed up today, they'd be screwed. I doubt they could get a car from today started. Life was so rough back in the day. If you wanted to speak on the phone, you were attached to the phone leash. If you wanted to watch the news, you had to wait until 5 o'clock. If you wanted to send a message to anyone who was far away, you had to stick it in a mailbox. It was awful, you wouldn't have believed what we went through. Oh, and NOTHING interupted television shows except commercials and deaths of Presidents. There weren't any logos or commercials at the bottom of the screen, I don't know how we ever had an advertising world without that stuff.

Well, that's it for now. I'm going out tomorrow night so I have to start thinking about what to wear. This is one of those dates that takes 2 days to get ready for. OK then, I should start now.

See ya later today!

Meg

This morning I told you guys that...

I was taking my son and my grandkids to the Georgia Aquarium and then I received this comment:

We just got back from there. I took some great pictures If you are interested!Heatheheathe_kias@msn.com
heathe_kias@msn.com

I am very interested, especially since my dog ate the cord that attaches to the puter so if I don't get a new one soon, I'll never get those pictures that we took today out of that camera. So, yeah....I'd love to see them and show them on this blog...it's such a neat place. The kids just LOVE it and it's even cool for us parents.

But first I have to figure out which part of your comment is the actual link, I'll try to get it right before I end this post...that is unless my stupid puter won't let me do it before it boots me. In that case, I'll fix it in the morning. Every so often, I have to publish this so that I don't lose the post all together. I'll go right back and finish the post, but if I get booted before I can post the rest of it, I'll fix it the first chance that I get.

Anyway, I did have a great time. The kids loved it and they got to pet baby sting rays, baby hammerhead sharks and they were able to "touch"...very gently...the anemonies which were just beautiful. Of course they have large fish, even a few whale sharks The kids liked the penguins, the jelly fish and the Nemo fish the most but they had a great time.

I told you that I bought annual passes for all of us, right? Well, it didn't cost me a thing to get in, I got a dollar off the Aquarium parking, I got 10% off our lunch and the toys we bought in the gift shop on the way out. And guess what? Including the gas to get there, I still spent 96 bucks. BUT....I didn't waste any money on tickets!

I think from now on we'll just go for a while and then go out to eat. Let the kids refuse to eat better food for that much money. We'll go every so often and see it little bit at a time...the trick will be getting through the gift shop without the kids wanting toys. I'm a sucker for those babies.

I hate tourist attractions that force you to go through the guft shop on the way put. They all seem to be doing it now. Oh well, whatcha gonna do?

Now, I'm going to go to bed. I'm not going to sleep, I just cleaned my room totally and I feel really comfy lying in fresh sheets in a clean room with nice jammies after taking a long shower. I'll just stretch out and read a book. Be back in the morning!

Meg

Hi!

I'm leaving to take my grandkids and their father to the Georgia Aquarium, the biggest in the world. It's pretty cool. I have annual passes so I need to use them. The kids love it so this will be lots of fun.

I'll be back when they go home early this evening.

See ya, have a lovely Sunday!

Meg

My son just left...

...to get his kids. I'm sitting here waiting impatiently. I've cleaned everything up so that they can make a mess of it all. Tomorrow we'll all go to the Aquarium. Remember last January I bought annual passes? Well, I better start trying to get my money's worth outta those suckers.

As I was washing the kitchen floor I started thinking about my curtains. A year and a half ago I went to New Jersey for a few days and when I came back, my beautiful kitchen curtains were gone. My son hasn't ever told me what happened except that "they got lost after I took them down to wash them". Bullshit. No self respecting 27 year old takes the kitchen curtains down to wash them. Today I'm gonna see if he wants to tell me the truth. It's been a year and a half.

I was with a date when he hit a tree after skidding on ice. He took me to his house where all of his brothers and he hatched a plan. They parked the Malibu out on the street and put the crash side toward the street. When the parents came home, all 5 boys acted like they had no clue how that happened.

Then, when another boyfriend's parents went to Europe, we had a party and someone dropped a cigarette down the couch and it started a small fire. We were able to hide it by flipping the cushions but sooner or later they had to figure that one out.

It's amazing what kids will do...and we fall for it.

OK then, gonna see my babies!

Meg

This is an article...

...that I wrote for an online men's magazine. I wrote it in 2005 so that's how long I've known that Basinger was being an ass to Baldwin. I think that more people need to become aware of Parental Alienation Syndrome and the courts need to become familiar with it. Men, if you ALL start going to court and using that term where it applies, the courts will have to look it up. Tell anyone that you know who is going through this...I think that all men of marrying age should be aware of this syndrome so that it can be fought before it gets too bad:

Kim Basinger seems to love backing causes, and now it would seem as though she is now vying for the title, “Saint of Mothers Who Assassinate Father/Child Relationships For No Good Reason”. After co-parenting daughter Ireland for 10 years, Basinger has decided that father Alec Baldwin is no longer worthy of the role of father because there has not been enough “consideration for my time and work commitments” and Baldwin’s presence is a “disruption to Ireland’s life.”Court documents filed by Baldwin request the “disruption” of “co-parenting counseling” and a change in therapists. Co-parenting counseling seems quite reasonable to most people. Especially considering the history of the couple who have been bickering over the 10 year old since their 2001 divorce.

Of course, we are not privy to any of the particulars in the case. But one would expect that had Mr. Baldwin committed some hideous infraction in the time since the brutal divorce, Basinger would have seen to it that the media was aware of the situation. So, in this case, surely no news is good news. Yet Basinger's attorney fills 69 pages of court documents with reasons why she should not attend co-parenting classes with her ex. (of course more recently, Alec did make a mistake...if that the WORST thing that he's, Basinger should be pleased. I can think of a few things that she's done that I consider worse. Like she's never lost it in front of her kid. Right.)

Basinger seems to be leading the charge of women who seek to remove superfluous husbands by proxy. They effectively take away all access to their children from father’s who are guilty of nothing more than existing past their usefullness. Beyond child support, these women are convinced that the men with whom they produced these children serve no purpose. So, these men are banished from the lives of their children by women who find them to be more of an inconvenience than an asset.

Shortly after these men become burdens to their wives, all too often, they come home to an empty house. Phone calls fail to verify the location of the man’s family. That’s because the men don’t seem to call the people who DO know what’s going on, the police. Of course, he needn’t call them, they’re on their way over to arrest him for domestic violence or something worse. Now, the first step is done. He’s out of the house.

The next step is to keep him out of the house and that takes a very long time. But, as an affront to women who are truly victimized, these women manipulate the court system for years in their efforts. The more sadistic of these women begin poisoning the minds of innocent children. A “victimized” wife can get a man out of the house overnight. It takes a “victimized” child to keep them out for good.

The brainwashing that these children receive is extremely effective. It takes some particularly accomplished manipulation to evoke such “obsessional hatred”, that it “extends to the targeted parent's extended family without any guilt or remorse.”

In The Parental Alienation Directory, Dr. Douglas Darnall states that the young victims of mothers consumed with hatred, "have no capacity to feel guilty about how they behave towards the targeted parent or forgive any past indiscretions." Dr, Darnell describes a pattern of behavior that he has termed Parental Alienation Syndrome and it is not a pretty picture. Although men most assuredly have the ability to exact this behavior upon children, for whatever reasons, the majority of parents who inflict PAS upon children are women.

Loving mothers want to see their children surrounded by as many people who love them as possible. But the mother’s who cause children to have “difficulty making any differentiations between...personal experiences with the targeted parent” and “what they are told by the Obsessed Alienator.”, are more concerned with some fantasy life where the father simply does not exist than with the welfare of the children. In a society where we chastise men for not rising to the occasion when they father a child, how can we let these mothers off the hook when they steal not only the father, but the father’s entire family from the child? Grandmother’s, Grandfather’s, aunt’s and uncle’s are all fair game for these women.

When the accusations fly, the extended family is not immune. A women in metropolitan Atlanta accused her daughter’s grandparents of standing by while the father, “struck her once, throwing her to the ground. Then, he struck her again and she fell to the ground again.” In this devastatingly classic case of Parental Alienation Syndrome, this particular father is about the give up on his daughter after two years of fighting with his ex wife. He has been arrested 3 times, his elderly parents have been named in abuse accusations filed with the Paulding County Georgia court. During the Christmas holidays, the counselor ordered by Paulding County told this father that “the best Christmas gift that you can give your daughter is to stay away during the holidays.”

When Alec Baldwin requests a change in counselors, it’s entirely possible that he may have good cause. With “therapists” out there telling fathers that they can best serve their child by “staying away”, perhaps Baldwin’s request should be given due consideration.

Unfortunately, “severe alienation is usually irreversible” and more and more men like the Paulding County Georgia father are throwing up their hands in utter desperation after years of false accusations and alienation from their children. Until judges and therapists, along with the public in general, recognize PAS for the crime that it is, father’s without Baldwin’s resources will continue to “stay away”. Hopefully, Baldwin himself will continue...to the best of his ability...to be a “disruption” in his daughter’s life.

For more information, go to:

http://www.parentalalienation.com/pasdirectory.htm

Any female who is being honest...

...will admit that by the time some of us are 11 years old, we know how to be very mean. Not all of us, but enough to notice every so often. Those of us who had parents who taught us justly and selflessly wouldn't likely be as cruel as would a young girl who is taught from an early age that she is perfectly within her rights to be a mean and nasty little brat.

You usually find that type of little girl when you have a parent that is subjecting the children to Parental Alienation Syndrome. When one parent wants nothing more than to take a small child and mold it into some sort of weapon to fire at the other parent, you'll most likely get something that will inflict deep wounds. I know as well as anyone what an evil parent is capable of and in my experience, the hatred and nasty behavior is choreographed by a female, although I'm sure that a man could do it as well.

In my experience, it takes a female to create the nastiest of these situations. A mother who has a lot of time to spend with her children can teach those children that "Daddy is evil." even though Daddy was there from the beginning. Before the divorce he wasn't a bad man, Mommy loved him enough to make a baby with him. But all of a sudden, a bitter bitch can work on a little girl so much that the child is totally convinced that not only is daddy evil, the regular rules don't apply to her. So, she can be a little bitch and Mommy will simply reward her for it and relish in the pain of the father.

To drag a man into court time and time again when he has committed no crime is, in itself, a crime. At least it should be. But since this is how lawyers make their money, along with court appointed counselors and DFAC's people who are constantly called by the evil parent, I doubt that it'll stop anytime soon.

Can you imagine how it must feel to all of a sudden have your child taken away from you? Then, you try to maintain the relationship that you had before but your ex won't allow it. She manipulates the kids and tells them how rotten you are. Eventually, you start to see the hatred growing in the little eyes that used to smile at you before the love was replaced with lies and false allegations. You have to go to court whenever the fool makes things difficult and she will, until she teaches the kid to do it for her. Then, things get really bad.

I don't know what Alec Baldwin was thinking when he called his daughter a "pig". But I have an idea what he was feeling. I've seen that look on too many father's faces. That look of helplessness that comes from not being able to hug your child. That look that a father gets when his little girl thinks of him, not as her loving father, but as the mean man who hurt mommy and did God knows what else. The worst of these women actually behave like this and then take their kids to church where there is that one Commandment that they can break, the one that tells them to honor their father.

I'm quite sure that Kim Basinger is very proud of her despicable self. She probably thinks that the entire world is on her side. I am quite sure that plenty of people see that although Alec lost it, Kim is mostly to blame. She totally set up the situation that led to all of the hositilty that never had to exist in the first place. And she has stolen something precious from her daughter that can never be replaced...a daddy in her life to love and be loved by.

The nice thing about it is that this crap will blow up in her face when the monster that she created is loosed on HER. And, that will happen. It doesn't replace the years that were missed and it won't help the little brat that the mother created, but it's always fun to watch someone get their ass kicked by karma. It's one of my favorite things...and so predictable. I love it.

Meg

As I was lying in bed...

...half awake and half asleep this morning, I thought I heard someone say that cardio work outs were no good if you wanted to lose weight. I woke up and realized that I did hear that. In fact, they might not even be very good for your heart in general. I think I'll just sit still for a while. I've always wanted to, but I thought that I had to move around to be healthy.

I grew up a long, long time ago. Back in the day, we were taught that you lost weight by burning more calories than you took in. Today we can eat all the bacon and eggs that we want on the low carb diet instead of the bowl of berries and oatmeal that I eat every morning. I've been working out 3 or 4 times a week for years and now I find out that I could be hurting myself by doing that. You know, that's all I need to put a stop to my morning excersizes. After all this time of working out, I thought it was a good thing that I was developing an ass and abs...but I could be hurting myself badly by doing that. Who knew?

I think I'm just going to sit in front of the TV and watch until they make a final decision as to what the hell we're supposed to do to keep healthy. They'll probably figure it out after I croak. I quit smoking and got cancer...now I'm totally confused. By the way, the other day someone asked me how that was going so I'll tell you what's going on. The doctor that my doctor sent me to is taking tests trying to see if this thing on my esophagus is a "new" tumor or a metastasized tumor from my para-thyroid gland. I'll let you know how things are going occasionally, but I don't like to dwell on it. Like the freak who shot all those kids, I don't like to give it too much of my attention. It wins if I do. I like to "act as if" I'm perfectly healthy and maybe I can trick my body into buying that.

OH! I should go check my emails from the freaky dudes at the dating site. I'll be right back with them...don't go far!

OK, here's one talking manspeak again:

I am not married and have never been married! I am just getting out of a relationship in which we both have been unhappy. I am very much a gentleman but I do have a wild, naughty side and love to have fun!!

Womanspeak translation:

I want to have my cake, eat it and then have more cake, eat that and then start over again.

Rarely do these guys have "fun" the same way that I do. They usually have fun in the sack while I'd like to go ride a roller coaster. It's not that I don't WANT to play in the sack, I just don't base relationships on it. I think of having someone to do things with and this guy is thinking of grabbing himself a lil wopig action and I'm not going for that. (Not for under 2 grand anyway.)

Here's another charmer:

I am a good looking, MWM who is looking to please a woman in any way she needs, Orally in particular, but I dont get the full foreplay and passionate play that I need and talking to her has been like talkingto a brick wall. If you are a married or LTR female who loves your spouse and just needs more. I am for you...if you want to live some fantasies that he would never do, I am for you...If you need a third party male that you can trust not to stalk and become a problem later, I am for you.

If you're half the freak you appear to be, you're not for me. Oh well, at least he's honest.

I found early on that those web dating services were pretty much just a hook up service. Men don't need to put too much effort into anything, they just call themselves a dorcot or a lawyer and say that they want sex. Apparently that works or so many of them wouldn't do it.

Right after Rick left, I dated a few guys that I met online and almost every single one of them expected sex on the first date. And, they weren't at all coy about that fact. I can think of 2 guys that I met who were decent types, the rest of them were all bums. Even Rick, remember when I caught him at a web dating service? I set a trap using a fake name and profile specifically aimed at him and it worked within 2 days.

I've learned so much about men since that fool left. And about the fool himself, he was no different than the other freaks that advertise online. He's just one of those idiots who thinks with his dick. In case you weren't around when I nabbed Rick online, this is the link to the e-mails that we shared when I was "Sarah" and he was the wounded hubby:

http://diaryofmydivorce.blogspot.com/2005/09/ok-my-surprise-is-ready.html

Meg

The news media is trying...

...to justify the airing of the tapes sent by the nut who killed 32 innocent people this past Monday. Their agument is that we can learn about the murderer himself. I don't know what more I could learn...the tapes just confirmed what we all knew, the guy was nuts. He wasn't "innocent but guilty" nuts or "not guilty by reason of insanity" nuts ...he was just a plain, everyday, dangerous nut who lost his last marble.

I remember the days when a freaked out murderer couldn't get a manifesto published unless the cops wanted it done for a very good reason. Somehow we got by without bearing witness to the rantings of any homicidal maniacs. I wonder why they think that we should know about it now?

If the media would stop paying so much attention to the murderer and a bit more to the victims, younger nuts-in-waiting will have fewer "heroes" to refer to when committing mass murder.

Bonnie and Clyde killd a lot of people as well and they're almost romanticized while we know nothing about the victims. I wonder how long it takes for murderers to turn into folk heroes for some people? This particular nut (whose name I won't even use) has the title for the most people murdered at one time in America. How long before some other put upon kid tries to break that record in honor of this nut? I shudder to think.

I found this on a guy's profile...

...he wrote this lovely sentence for ALL women to see:

"...BTW, please have the confidence to post a picture of yourself. Looks are not everything!!!"

How's that for manspeak? Luckily, I've been around enough of them to be able to pick up on the meanings of some of their words. This is what we English speakers call MANIPULATION. "We make you feel like you're an idiot if you don't post a picture and then we lull you into a sense of well being by telling you that "looks aren't everything" so go ahead, send that picture! Then, we can decide whether or not you have reason to be confident, if you do, we'll be back in touch."

Then, one of the only single guys who wrote (at least one of the few who SAYS that they are single) emailed me to ask me to "chat me at *********.yahoo.com" That's it, not even, "Do you know how to chat on yahoo, do you even want to? Blah, blah, blah...looks like a cyber-sex nut and those, I do not do.

A guy that I'm seeing and I were reading the emails last night and he got quite a kick out of them. He and I tried to guess what these guys were really like so we just made up stories by their pictures. We laughed so hard we had tears in our eyes.

Anyway, I had a tough time sleeping last night so I wandered from bed to bed to couch and back to bed again. I kept having those Rick nightmares again. I kept on dreaming that he was cheating on me and guess what...HE WAS! It's funny, I wake up as bothered as I was the first day that I found out he was cheating. It doesn't take as long to get over after a cheat dream, I drink a cup of coffee and then I watch the news until my mind wanders into another day and I'm fine.

Then, I read a friend's blog and see another friend saying that I kiss and tell. I've never kissed and told unless the guy did something incredibly stupid. If I mentioned all the normal guys I went out with, this blog would be full of good stuff and that's no fun. So, I just mention the idiots. I know a couple of guy that I've dated who still read this everyday and are quite confident that they won't be on it...they didn't act like morons...just guys. I don't mind a guy who acts like a guy...even if he isn't perfect. So, there...I don't kiss and tell! Unless of course you happen to be a county commissioner and a JERK at that.

OK then, I'm going to go switch the laundry loads and jump in the shower. See ya soon!

Meg

I opened an account on a dating service...

...for blog fodder like I did a couple of years ago. Like I did last time, I made up a fake name again. I can't tell you what it is...it might blow my cover. But anyway, in my fake profile there is one thing that is true. That is when I say...right on the front of my page...that, "... I don't do adultery. Other than that, I'm easy to please....".

So, from whom do I hear? A couples of guys, HardNDirty33 and NiceRedHead, who "prefer not to say" whether they're married or not.

Then, there's one who writes to me:

Well to be honest and upfront i am in a relationship.I am not married at all buy no means but i do have a girlfriend.I am looking to make new friends.I don't believe in lying about anything i believe in being upfront and straight forward.

Well, it's nice to know that he's "honest".

And then there's this pearl:

I hope this is not inappropriate, if so i apologize in advance..I am a discrete, professional, straight married male.6'1" 188 lbs. white, brn/blue, athletic and nice looking. I believe discrete encounters should be fun and full of laughter.. and upon leaving both of us have a big smile and a fond memory....hopefully have a relationship that adds to both of our lives.

It takes more than a "big smile" for me to have a "fond memory".

Then there are the nit wits whose profile shouts, "RUN! I FREAK OUT EVERY FEMALE THAT I MEET!!!!" How's this one for a potential postal employee:

im going to try this one more time to see where it goes. the last time it really suck most of the ladies on here don't know how to be honest

That one will be on the news someday, of that I am sure. Now...I would be remiss if I left out another married man who has no clue what bait to use when fishing for a lady:

He seems rather proud of his armpits...doesn't he? I wonder if his wife knows that his armpits are all over the internet? I think I'm going to begin a bit of an exhibition. Like an artist, I'm going to use my talents to seek out and hunt down stories from the world on internet dating and see what I can find. Once I found a guy who acted like a jerk and I put him on the blog only to get a comment from someone who knew the guy as a county official in Michigan. I got that one. I posted our entire email relationship online...it wouldn't have been good for any elections that might have been coming up as far as that jerk was concerned.

Here's the link to the first post after I found out who he was:

http://diaryofmydivorce.blogspot.com/2005/10/ok_112904574249641964.html

For the following week or so after that...I nailed that fool. He deserved it, trust me.

Anyway, I'm gonna play with these yahoos for a while.

See ya!

Meg

Good morning, afternoon or whatever.

I just woke up after staying up all night doing my taxes. I put it off until 11 PM on the last day possible because I assumed that I would owe them money. I started e-filing on my idiot computer and the stupid thing shut down so rather than wait until the computer wanted to work, I called my father and had him do it on his computer for me. I just gave him all the info and he did it all for me. I hope we did it properly...I'm a little bit worried because I ended up getting a refund and I didn't think that was going to happen.

I went online to check everything but it won't let me in unless I know the exact amount of the refund and I don't. I could call my father but that telephone tax session was worse than the time that he tried to teach me to drive a stick-shift. I think I'll let him get over the ire with which he spoke last night and then I'll ask him. (He isn't known for his patience...my sister is smiling as she reads this.)

I suppose I should have paid H&R Block but ever since they sent my tax return in for Rick without my signature on it I don't trust them. But it really was pretty easy. Maybe next year I'll charge 10 bucks to e-file for people who don't realize how easy it is. I only know how to do the 1040 so if anyone has anything more than that, they'd have to find a smart person. But for the easy stuff, I don't know why everyone doesn't just sit at their computer and e-file by themselves.

Since I waited so long to start the dumb taxes, I didn't finish until after midnight. I told my father to date it for the 17th. I wonder if that'll make a difference...ya think? I thought about having my daughter do it in LA, it would have been on time then...but I couldn't get her to answer the phone.

Well, since I just woke up, I'm gonna go suck coffee for a while and then I'll be back as soon as I can remember my name and why I'm here.

Who am I?

Meg,

"how would you like if someone called you a nappy head hoe? that would be so different then wouldnt' it?"

Uh...it wouldn't bother me one bit. I've been called worse. Besides, when I was seven I knew that I was paper and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. So, I don't mind what other people say. I just hope they're having fun and I go somewhere else. Life's too short to spend time so negatively.

I'd rather be the person who was called a name than the person who did the name-calling. Imus and Kramer both look like idiots and their "victims" won by default. Playing the race card is like leading with a Jack and the other 3 players slap a Queen, King and Ace on your card...you lose.

The problem is that some people don't know that they've lost and they just keep on leading with the same stupid Jack. That's what I think of Sharpton when he acts like such a nit wit.

Transition:):):) Anyway, don't you hate when someone does something that you can't stand? I can't say exactly what I'm talking about but compare it to this...you're dating someone who drinks too much and you give them an ultimatum..."Quit drinking or get lost."

So, they quit drinking...for a couple of months. Then, they start drinking occasionally but, "It's OK, I really, really don't drink nearly as much as I did...You can't get angry over a few beers on Sunday, that's ridiculous.!"

Well, it may very well be ridiculous. But I don't want to be around a person with a drinking problem who thinks that they can drink "a little". Period. Of course he has the right to drink all that he wants to...but I have the right to walk away from him when he does.

The result of that is...one more time, I get called a bitch. That doesn't bother me...I see it for the attempted manipulation that it is and I walk away, usually quickly. I see so many men trying this crap that I have to wonder if they all used to be bullshitting me and I was just too young and stupid to see it. Or, are men getting dumber since that Chernobyl incident? I can't tell which one it is.

It's interesting that controlling men start out acting nicely because they know you wouldn't warm up to them if they acted like idiots. Then, when they feel the time is right, they act like idiots. They know how to be nice, they just choose not to. I can spot them quickly and I notice the way that they start out the manipulation mildly just to see if they can get away with minor shit. Then, it gets worse and worse as time goes by and they pay no penalty.

I don't usually date a guy long enough for him to change...I can sniff out most assholes. Obviously, I'm not perfect in my detection skills, I wouldn't have this blog if I were. But I can usually tell one when I see one...it's something for which I am always looking.

I have to say that I love it when a guy tells me that I'm "being unreasonable" and I'm "a bitch for not allowing him to drink (or whatever the deed that I dislike is)". Most of them think that I'll respond by begging them not to be angry and instead I just say they're right...and then I walk away. They don't expect that and the look on their faces is priceless.

I need to try to take a nap and that shouldn't be too easy because I've been sucking coffee all morning so that I could stay away long enough to clean the house after my guests. Now I'm wired. But, I'm going to lie down and try to have an out of body experience.

See ya!

Meg,

Being from downunder, I googled what Imus said , what the hell is a nappy-headed hos, and is something offensive if you don't know what it means?

Well, first of all, nappy is a word that some black people use to refer to the texture of their hair. I went to school with a girl named Penny who was nappy headed and she was white. So, it's not necessarily referring to blacks, but it usually is. A ho a term that came from people who speak the black vernacular meaning whore. So, apparently, a nappy headed ho is a frizzy haired whore.

40 years ago, words were offensive if the person saying the word meant it to be offensive. Today, words are offensive if the person you say them to perceives them to be offensive. That's what Imus forgot. I don't know what was in his heart when he said it so I don't know if he meant for it to be offensive or not. But, in America today, anything a white person says is open to interpretation by others and therefore, we have to walk on eggs when we say things because anything we say can be taken out of context.

I work with a lot of black people and I never have a problem with any of them...we all get along fine and if there is any prejudiced, it's kept under my radar. I think that one on one, blacks and whites get along fine but the problem comes when idiots like Sharpton and Jackson get out and try to stir up all the animus that they can.

Although what Imus said was stupid, I don't think it was any more stupid than anything else he says and I don't think he meant anything racist, that's just the way Imus speaks. The only thing that surprises me is that this didn't happen sooner. But, as I said, we'll never know what was in his heart.

When I was the Assistant Director of Nursing at a facility near here, one of my jobs was to plan and deliver the orientation to new employees. In the list of things that I HAD to mention, along with proper body mechanics, infection control and patient confidentiality...management had me give a little speech on the fact that we should always be concerned with how our words or actions are PERCEIVED. I thought that was so stupid because one person has no control over how another person PERCEIVES what he does or says. We can use our common sense and hope for the best, but I would never offend anyone on purpose...I have done it because, being from the North, I can be a bit curt. I was basically in charge of the clinical area, I always mentioned anything that I saw that was wrong...it was my job. I said things quickly and to the point. Then, I'd walk away and go on about my business not realizing that 4 people just thought that I yelled at them. It was fine, I got the job done because everyone was afraid of me. But if I was going to yell at someone, I'd take them in my office, I wouldn't shout it out on the floor. I was just pointing things out as I walked down the hall.

So, although I meant no harm and would have forgotten the incident in 5 minutes, people PERCEIVED me to be angry at them. I can't stop that, either you know me or you don't. If you don't know me, you might wonder how to take me for a while but eventually you would learn that I'm just a woman who speaks her mind 24/7.

There are some things that people say that are stupid and are offensive, that's a given. I hear black people saying things that offend me all the time. Not at work...we all act professionally. But, if I were to judge all black people by the way black people on TV and radio speak, I would think that they were all gun toting thugs who had no respect for women, never knew their fathers and came from filthy neighborhoods. But the blacks that I meet are all hard working family people whom I respect.

Nevertheless, while the normal blacks are quietly living life, the lunatics are out there getting angry at their PERCEPTION of what you might say. The man who used the word "niggardly" lost his job. The stupid word means cheap, nothing else. This guy meant "cheap" and the lunatics PERCEIVED him to mean something dreadfully offensive.

I don't know why I don't have the freedom from being offended that others seem to have. I was raised to be offended when I hear the "N" word and to this day, I cringe when I hear it. My parents didn't teach me that it was only OK for blacks to use...they taught me that it was the very worst word that you could possibly use. That's how I was raised. I never heard that word growing up, I grew up in a nice, quiet, peaceful suburb of Chicago and no one there was tacky enough to use the word. If they did, they certainly didn't use it in public so I never heard it. Although I have heard it a few times being in certain areas of the country, I hear it constantly by blacks on TV, radio and the movies.

I submit that I am more offended at the word than would be people who use it themselves. How offended could you be by a word that you use in everyday converstaion? I never use it...I shouldn't have to hear it.

I do understand the idea of using a word and taking the power out of it by making it your own...but the fact that it offends some people doesn't change. And I know that you may not MEAN anything racist by it, but I PERCEIVE it to be racist.

One more thing, if black people can use these words (like nappy headed ho) and not mean anything negative, they should understand that other people can use them innocently as well. I can sit in my house and say, "nappy headed ho's" all day long and it won't matter. It won't make me racist. I can even say it around other white people...they know that we can say that stuff and still NOT be racists. It's too bad that Sharpton won't give others what he tries to give his own people...the right to be assholes and speak freely. Sharpton would have us believe that freedom of speech does not give us the right to actually speak freely. What a scary dude.

Oh, by the way, Sharpton needs to stay off of TV shows that challenge him at all, he doesn't stand up well to any thinking person. I wonder how he fools it to so many people? I would have thought that people were smarter than that. I guess if it's something that you WANT to believe, you will believe it.

See ya, I have a house to clean. I'll be back when I take a break.

Meg