OOOOOOPPPSS!!!!!

I missed my blog-iversary yesterday! It's now been two years and one day since I sat down at my desk and began this blog.

So, Happy Blog-iversary to me!!!

Meg

By the way...in a little while, I'll tell you guys about how my father's lady-friend/ex-wife handled the stenciling that I'm doing in my father's kitchen. She didn't choose it so it must be tacky...right? Oh, I also wanted to write something to the lady whose husband of 33 years cheated on her and there was one other commenator whom I wanted to reply to...I forgot which one but I'll go over the comments and then I'll respond to her.

See ya soon!

Meg eg-en

I found this on another blog:

"...When I got home I sent my ex this email.

You have to end the charade and tell me the truth. I already know. So it shouldn't matter but it does. You telling me the truth is going to hurt so bad. But I have to know. Then maybe I can just be in pain for a little while then get over it and move on. This charade you are playing is eating me alive. I can't take IT. I feel like I am going to explode.

TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME THE FUCKING TRUTH!!!! FOR ONE GOD DAMN TIME!

http://www.goingthroughdivorce.blogspot.com/

So it isn't just ME!!!! I've often wondered why I've felt the need to hear the truth from Rick...even such a long time after the death of our marriage. I KNOW the truth, I knew it before he left. I had known it for years. Before I wanted to believe it, I knew it. The proof was everywhere I looked. But, like the man who wrote this e-mail...I still need to hear it from Rick.

I've pretty much accepted the fact that I probably won't ever hear the truth from him...but I know that the only thing that could possibly ease the leftover pain would be just that...the truth...from HIM!

Rick used to say that he lied because he didn't want me to get angry. Well, maybe I would have gotten angry and maybe I wouldn't have. But, I have that right. So, I get angry and then sooner or later I get over it. Telling the truth may be tough at the time...but in the long run, it's most certainly the easiest thing to do. When you're honest in all of your dealings, some people may choose not to be around you. That's their right. But, if you make a habit of telling the truth, you end up surrounded by people who accept you for exactly what you are. Then, you have no reason to lie anymore. So, let people get angry if they must...life is easier in the long run.

A coward will never be able to tell the truth and that's a shame. So I know that Rick won't be able to be honest with me. But, that knowledge doesn't take away my need to hear the truth. If Rick ever found his testicles and finally answered all of the questions that I have, it might make me hurt, angry or even devastated.

But guess what?

I'm already hurt, angry and devstated.

At least I'd be hurt, angry and devastated with the truth instead of all of the scenarios that have been going through my mind over the years.

I don't know why I still need the truth from my ex...but like the man who wrote the e-mail...I do. I don't understand why that's so tough for Rick...he knows that I know most of the truth already. I know he knows that...so what's the problem? It has nothing to do with me having "feelings" for Rick...I could be madly in love with someone else but I would still need the truth from him. I don't get it and I don't think that it's really important why I feel that way. When a fireman arrives at a house that's on fire...they don't sit around discussing how the fire started...they just put the damn thing out. So, whatever the reason is that I need honesty from Rick...I do.

I'm glad to see that there are others who feel the same way that I do. Rick is the only "fireman" who can put out the fire that causes my endless pain. But to other people who understand the need to hear the truth...perhaps you have a clue...why do we need to hear the truth from the person who lied to us even after we've figured the truth out on our own? Maybe if I understood that...I could find a way to live my life without the one thing that I need the most...a sincere explanation from the person who devastated me with his inability to tell me the truth.

Meg

Occasionally...

...I write down a thought so that I can remember it. Of course, sometimes I forget the damned thought just looking for a pen. But I try to write it down...because I might like to mention it in the blog, ponder it further, or even write a country music song about. (And I don't like country music...it's just that everything in my life could be found in most country songs.) You never know what my mind might come up with. And as I’ve mentioned a few times...my mind is always thinking about something.

Rick would answer that bonzer womanly query, "Whatcha thinkin’?" with a distinctively testosterone-induced answer..."Nuthin.". At first I thought that he must be thinking about some whore...but eventually I realized that, in answer to that ONE question...he was answering me honestly. The man could actually sit there and think about NOTHING.

I can’t do it...I’ve tried. Well, there was this one time...I tried it so hard, that for a nano-second...I did it...I thought of absolutely nothing. My brain was literally a total blank. It scared the hell out of me. I was afraid it would stop and never start again. Rick was the only other person there so I wouldn’t have had a donor for a jump start. I will never, ever...under any circumstances pull that stunt again and I seriously implore you guys to refrain from ever stopping your own personal brains.

Anyway...what was I saying? Oh yeah...I wrote down a thought. It was a thought that I had after speaking to the person to whom I wrote about a couple of posts ago. When someone is speaking to you...especially about something serious...you should shut-up and listen. I decided that there are two benefits to be reaped from that tact.

First of all, you can observe the other person and think about what they are saying. If they talk long enough...at times they might just hang themselves. You can keep them speaking by simply repeating something that they’ve said. If they stop talking, you can repeat the last thing that they said. Close to 100% of the time, they’ll elaborate on what they’ve said so you have more time to (and this is the second benefit) think about what YOU are going to say when you finally get the chance to speak. Oh, and remember...don't speak too early...listen and think of something good to say.

OK...my break is over...I have to go back to working on the stenciling. This is fun. I love standing at the top of a ladder and painting with my arms over my head for hours on end.

See ya,

Meg

Everyday there are...

...a shitload of advertisements left in my comments section. Most of the people who post the ads post them over and over again because they don't realize that I must accept them before they're put on the blog. It can be a tad annoying, but it's really just a click of the reject button and then they're gone.

Today some perv left an ad for a site that actually said, "pre-teen sex models". Naturally, I'll be reporting that to some authority, I haven't figured out how nor to whom I should report it...but I'll figure it out easily enough. It just amazes me that people would do something like that. I won't go to the site itself...I wouldn't want my computer to have it in the history. But, the right people will know what to do with it.

This morning I'm going to start stenciling around the top of my dad's kitchen walls. He chose the pattern and the colors when he and I went shopping for the stencils...which were my idea because the walls needed something else and my dad was going to buy moulding and hammer that up there. I mentioned the stenciling (like I have in my house) and he loved the idea.

The only problem is his nutty ex-wife. She fully admits that she has "great taste and should have been an interior decorator". Of course my father "keeps all of his taste in his mouth", whatever that means. Since she's moved here, she has replaced his "ugly ass kitchen cabinets", taken up the "tacky floor" in the kitchen and hallway and replaced it with marble tile, chosen the color of paint that my father just finished this past weekend and she bought a stainless steel sink because Lord knows she won't be "scrubbing the kitchen sink in between the cleaning women's visits".

When I showed her the stencils that my father picked out, she said, "Don't I have a say in the matter at all? I don't like the idea of introducing a third color in the kitchen." I reminded her that she has already chosen everything else in the room and...in case she hadn't considered this...it IS my father's condo.

I put the stencils and the paint out of her sight, changed the subject and waited for them to leave for her doctor's appointment. After that, she has a bridge game so with any luck at all...I should be able to get enough done before she gets back so that it can't be undone. I was blown away by her obstinance. How dare I not realize that the mere fact that she didn't pick out the stencils, the colors, or even the idea of stenciling automatically makes it in poor taste? Silly me.

When a sweet person gets Alzheimer's, they turn into a sweet crazy person. When a mean and nasty person gets Alzheimer's...they turn into a mean and nasty crazy person. And this mean and nasty person is about as mean and nasty as they come.

OK then...I have to do that work for my father before they get back. It will take hours, if not days to complete this job so I have to get on it ASAP. I'll be back when I take my first break...see ya!

Meg

Meg...

"This is an excellent piece on drug addicts- but what makes you write it?I grew up in the 80's - a time when anti-drug advertising was at its peak. The programs must have worked, because everytime that I think about anything involving illegal drug usage, I think about brains and eggs frying on pans, little pills singing, "We can make you delirious", and cracked-out totally spaced-out people living in abandoned buildings with missing teeth, dirty clothes, HIV infected sharing dirty needles, and with no money prostituting themselves."

I wrote it because I recently learned that a person for whom I care deeply is a drug addict. I knew there was a "problem", but I had absolutely no clue how bad it was.

Yes, many addicts are exactly as you portray them. But, they all have a few things in common and that's what I was referring to when I wrote:

"...They had dreams of being a teacher, a lawyer or an actor. They went out to play, walked to school and played hide and go seek..."

They start out just like everyone else. I don't know what goes wrong, but something does and if left alone, they will eventually end up as you described.

Almost all of us go through a "party" period in our lives. Most of us eventually outgrow it. I certainly had my fun back in the day...but as with most people, life takes over, children are born and maturity occurs. But occasionally, that growth doesn't occur and the party never stops. Well, it does...but with a funeral, a prison sentence or just your average run of the mill street person.

I'm trying to help someone but I'm realizing that there isn't much that I can do at all. This person (let's call them Gene), has taught me something that I haven't been able to learn in close to 50 years...how to say "No."

Gene asked me for some money around the holidays and I was happy to turn it over. All that bought me was repeated requests for more money with increasingly creative stories behind the requests. Then, I set my purse down and Gene looked down into it and saw a prescription bottle. Gene picked it up and said, "Oooh! Morphine...can I have some?" Then Gene reached in and pulled out my hydrocodone and my Xanax. I had my heart and blood pressure meds in there as well, but Gene knew what the "good stuff" was. Now I represent not only an ATM, but a pharmacy as well. I've had to keep things hidden that I would have never thought to hide before. And, the repeated requests for money and my medicine (Which I NEED!) have taught me, for once in my life, to say no.

I've been a sucker my entire life, I have never been very good at saying no to anyone. From my siblings to my scheduler at work...I can't say no when someone asks me for something. Well, I've said "No." numerous times over the past few days. So, Gene has accomplished something that many, many bums, users and cheats have not been able to accomplish over the past 48 1/2 years...I can say "No." without hesitation.

OK...now I'm going to try to do that "drastic" thing that I spoke of earlier.

Meg

Drugs addicts are...

...excellent liars. They lie to themselves and to others in pathetic attempts to hide and support their foul habits. Their skills at manipulation are topnotch, especially when they’re manipulating those who love them. They take the love that others have for them and they use it, abuse it, trample it and push it to the very limits of the heart’s endurance. They burn bridges in a blitzkrieg-like manner, leaving casualties by the wayside.

Drugs addicts are so wrapped up in their addictions that they place drugs above everything else. Every single thing that they have ever cared about takes a backseat to the drugs. They plan their days around the next fix. Whether it’s a bottle of beer or a hit off of that crack pipe...the drug and obtaining that drug is the most pressing issue of moment. Once the drug is secured and only then, can the addict can stop searching long enough to do something else. And then, anything that they do is done half-assed because the addict is either high or preoccupied with getting high again.

Drug addicts try to get the people around them to do drugs with them. They share their own personal stash with other people in hopes of creating a drug buddy who can buy the drugs next time. Somewhere in their twisted minds, they realize that drugs will end in death, jail or some other negative consequence yet they want to create fellow drug addicts. They don’t care if that potential fellow drug addict is a stranger, a family member or someone else’s young son or daughter...if the person has funds, or access to funds...they are fair game.

Drug addicts cause the people closest to them to worry constantly. The addict never considers the mother, father, spouse or other loved one who spends countless evenings sitting at home waiting for that knock on the door that comes with an invitation to identify a dead body. The truth can’t be as bad as the images that someone conjures up when they’re worrying about a loved one at 2 AM...or could it?

Drug addicts ask for gas money to go job-hunting, to pay for prescriptions or to pay the rent. When that doesn’t work anymore, they sell things that will fetch cash. Family heirlooms aren’t safe in their hands. They steal from neighbors, friends and elderly parents. When the doors are all locked and the bridges all burned, they sell themselves. Consequences are foreign notions to them. Every move they make can potentially drive away another loved one, send the addict to prison or even end their life but they continue on course as though the world will be ending in 10 minutes.

Drug addicts get angry with you when you don’t give them what they ask for. They see your refusal to buy the dangerous drugs as a selfish, mean and nasty action. They don’t understand why you don’t believe them when they tell you another stupid story about a lost wallet, an impending tax refund that should have been delivered last week or another bank error. They argue with you when they’re wasted and misunderstand everything that you say to them. They start arguments over nothing and can actually carry on an entire fight all by themselves. They justify everything they say or do and nothing that you can say or do matters nor does it make a bit of sense to them. When they’re sober, they either don’t remember what they did or they laugh it off as another meaningless thing that they did while they were using. They don’t consider the fact that you were sober the entire time and therefore you felt the acute pain that was inflicted and you remember every single moment of it.

Drug addicts push away everyone that cares about them one at a time. They lose their jobs, their homes, their friends and everything else that they could possibly lose. Most people would say that they made their bed and they should lie in it. Those people are right. But when the drug addict is someone that you love very much, how do you close the door in their face in the middle of the night? How do you say no when they’re hungry? How do you sit by and watch as they pay the price for their behavior? How do you forget the person who they used to be and see the drug addict standing in front of you? When they walk out the door, how do you refrain from worrying that this might be the time that they encounter the wrong person, do too many drugs or get picked up by the police and sent away for a very, very long time? And when something like that does happen, how do you deal with the knowledge that you saw it coming yet you couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it?

Drug addicts were born to mothers that loved them. They grew up with siblings that care about them. They went to first grade and learned to write their names. They played Battleship, watched Gilligan’s Island and waited for Santa Claus. They said their prayers at bedtime, trick or treated and loved the family dog. They had dreams of being a teacher, a lawyer or an actor. They went out to play, walked to school and played hide and go seek. They said the Pledge of Allegiance, sang Mary Had Little Lamb and had a crush on the hottie who sat next to them in 7th grade math class.

Drug addicts must want help before they can be helped. But, chances are that most of them will end up in jail or worse before they ever decide to get help on their own. So, when the drug addict is someone that you love, you have very few options. But, something dreadfully dramatic needs to be done. I just found out that someone that I care deeply for is a drug addict. I’m going to do something...something extremely drastic. And then I’ll have to live with the consequences of my actions and that won’t be fun. But, it won’t be any worse than sitting by a grave knowing that I could have down something and didn’t.

Meg

OH Meg!!!

Yooohooo...Where are you???? LOL It's 12:30am and I'm still in here working. I'll be up til about 1:30 and then up at around 10am...I've got my phone with me at all times, so give me a call tonight or in the morning. Can't wait!:)

Well, we did it...we met and had a lovely time! My Tampa area blog buddy( http://www.mylifeatfullspeed.com/ ), her mother and I went to Panera Bread and had good food and great fun chatting. By the way, I've never been to Panera Bread before but I certainly will go again, the food was great.

My father dropped me off at the restaurant and I told him that I would call him when I needed a ride home. He got sick of waiting for me to call so he showed up and sat with us for a while. If he wasn't caring for his ex-wife right now I would have tried to set him up with the mother. She's very attractive, quite bright and works in the same field as my father. They could have a great time just trading professional stories. But alas...he is too busy caring for his evasive ex...who, by the way, hasn't escaped since the time he lost her 3 times in 4 days. He had to call the cops the first two times and was determined to find her without the help of the police the third time and luckily, he did.

Meeting such charming people has made this blog well worth the time and effort that I've put into it. It also makes me look forward to the next town that I visit and the next time I come to Tampa...I now have 2 new friends here!

I just got back from the restaurant and now I have to cook something for the old folks to eat and then I need to come back here and tell you guys something. So, bye for now...be back soon!

Meg

Hi Meg :)

Great to hear you are having a good time on your mini vacation :)

It's about to get really good...I'll be leaving my dad's at 1:30 to meet a blog buddy! So far, in the two years that I've had this thing, I've met two people through it and they've both turned out to be very good friends and extremely important parts of my life. So, I am truly looking forward to this afternoon!

"...I was serious. I live in Lincoln Park, in the city...Anywho, when you need a Chicago fix...come on down!..."

OOH! Just give me a reason and a place to stay (LOLOLOL) and I'm there! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE that toddlin' town...it's MY kind of town, Chicago is!

"...After 33 yrs he has someone else. they are all a..holes..."

Yeah...that's sort of the point. I'm here to let you guys know that it isn't US...it's the liars and cheats. They just love to blame it on us. To be fair, they aren't ALL assholes...and many women are something rather negative as well. I can't think of a word that will do justice to the females who screw married men and cheat on their wives...why don't we try to come up with a new word to describe the lowest of the low...the sleaziest of all women, the nastiest of all the hoes. What can you guys think of?

Now, before I go to get ready for my friend...I'd like to share a poem with you that I found whilst reading the New Yorker Magazine, sitting on the toilet right before I wrote this post:

A POETRY READING AT BENEDICTINE COLLEGE IN ATCHISON, KANSAS

We moved the poetry reading to the Exercise Room
For coziness. There we shifted a large bike to the side.
A certain exhilaration entered the room
When the words all agreed to point in one direction.

They say Lewis and Clark’s gang one night
Slept over there by the river, and Amelia Earhart
Lived till she was twelve in that gray house.
Maybe we could all do something brave if we tried.

We, even the heaviest, started to float when we
Remembered the sound of a moth on a screen
Trying to get out. Our lives might change today!
Listening with Sister Faith in the Exercise Room.

-Robert Bly


Isn't that a neat poem?

OK...now I'm outta here. I'll be back later to tell you how my meeting went, her mother is coming too...this should be very pleasant!

Meg

OOPS!!!

I can't find the e-mail with the phone numbers of the Tampa blog buddies!!!

Could you e-mail me at MegKelsoBroderick@gmail.com and I'll call ASAP?

Cool beans!

Meggers

Meg...

"...If you are ever in Chicago give a shout. Love meeting new people too..."

AHHH! You may live to regret that....I'm from Chicago and all I need is one, little excuse to go home and I'm there! So, from where in Chi-town do you hail? I grew up in Elk Grove Village and went to high school in Bensenville. I still have one brother still there, he lives in Glen Ellyn.

In the meantime, I'm here in Tampa trying to help my sister. That help may end up with me bringing her home with me.

My sister has been cheated upon by her husband. They got together when she was in high school and eventually married. Shortly after they married, she became pregnant. Then, it turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy meaning the baby was in the tube. They had to take the baby and the tube. Then, shortly after that, she became pregnant again. Well, the same thing happened and she lost another baby and the other tube.

Within a few months, her charming husband, Todd Hanson, impregnated a tramp who had called herself my sister's friend. My sister left him and the tramp (Ashley) married the bum. So, before the divorce, my sister's husband had a child with another woman. He now has a happy life and my sister is alone and missing two fallopian tubes.

Then, I guess just to be cruel...Ashley had a friend of hers call my sister repeatedly to taunt her with comments like, "Why would Todd want a woman who can't have kids? At least Ashley can give him babies...you can't!" Todd is in for the future her deserves with a wench like that.

Todd is a fireman with the Vinton, Virginia Fire Department. If your house starts to burn and you live in Vinton, hide your wife from the short, skinny dude in the fireman's suit. And...if you live in the Vinton area...hide your man from Ashley Hanson. Obviously neither of them respect the marriage vows. My sister is a sweet, sweet woman but she is very easy to fool. She's just extremely sweet and naive so it was easy for Todd to get away with his affair. Obviously, Ashley isn't too bright either...Marie and Todd had an affair a short time after Todd married the twit so my sister was lucky enough to give a bit of her own back. They are still in contact with each other and get together whenever she goes to Virginia for a visit.

Personally, I wouldn't do that because I would never give Rick a chance to pass along anything he may have caught in that trailer park, plus I like to think that I have too much respect for myself.

OK...my father is off for his daily does of Starbucks because Lord knows...Folgers isn't good enough for him. And I'm going to check my e-mail for the phone number of a local blog buddy to see when she and I can finally meet. And...when I get home, the first order of business is to meet the local blog buddies!

Have a great day and I'll be back later!

Meg

Meg...

"...Welcome to the Arctic Circle!! LOLOMG!! Can it get any colder in the Bay area tonight??? I don't think so! I got an email warning about the temp being in the low to mid thirties in the early morning hours...."

Well, that's just because I have that kind of luck. It follows me everywhere. The very first time I ever visited Florida was the coldest weekend of the entire year. Seems as though I've done it again.

I woke up this morning to my father saying, "Girls...it's time to wake up!" Talk about bringing back memories of childhood. Marie and I are sharing a room like two sisters should.

Anyway, I walked into the kitchen and realized that it had to be 60 degrees in this condo. I said to my dad, "Why is it so cold in here?" He said that he had turned the heat on and I guess it is warming up a tad. But I was right...it WAS 60 degrees in here! Oh well, I didn't really come down here to vacation on the beach anyway.

Yesterday we got an e-mail from our other sister saying that a childhood friend of ours had been found dead in his New York apartment. I was stunned. I used to baby-sit him and his older siblings. His mother and I became good friends as I got a bit older. Her older kids were friends of my younger sisters. The younger kids were the ones that I baby sat.

Tommy, the one who died, was always a sweet little boy. I haven't seen him in a very long time and had no idea that he was living in New York. They found him dead in his apartment and he had been there for a few days. It has become a coroner's case so we don't know what killed him. He did have health problems since the day he was born so I guess it was something to do with that...not something sinister. We'll know soon.

I just cannot imagine getting a phone call saying that your son has been found dead, alone is his apartment hundreds of miles away from where you live. I haven't seen Tommy in a very long time and I'm aching over his passing, I don't know how his mother is dealing with it. It's just not supposed to happen like this...we shouldn't find out that people who we baby-sat have died. Parents should never have to bury their own children. Life isn't fair, I realize that. But does it have to be so damned UNFAIR? I'm sure we'll be learning more about this as the days go by.

OK...so here I am, shivering in Tampa. I've heard from one of my blog buddies (see the comment below the last post) so I will finally be meeting another one of you! Then, when I go home...I HAVE to meet my local blug buddies...I'm really looking forward to that. This blog has been rather good to me and making good friends is the best of all the things that I've received from it. How great to be able to fly into a city and say, "Hi guys! Anyone up for a meeting?" And, as much as I plan on traveling this year...I can't wait to see how many of you I will be able to meet. One of these days I'm going to write a book about my divorce and the blog and a HUGE message from the book will be the wonderful people whom I've met through this silly thing. I never had a clue that this was a possibility when I began it!

My other sister also lives here and her step-son is going to be having his Bar Mitzvah while I'm here. I knew that she had married a Jewish guy...but I never really thought about the opportunity to participate in the rituals of the religion. I'm pretty excited about that.

I dated a Jewish guy when I was 17-18 and we were in LOOOOVE! His parents adored me until we became very close. Then I became the "yutz" and the "shiksa". They finally made him break up with me because he needed to be with a Jewish girl...not a shiksa. After that I swore that I would never date another Jewish guy unless he was an orphan. It's never come up...but I think that my sister has proven that a "mixed" marriage can, most assuredly, be a success.

Have any of you guys ever been involved in a relationship that your parents disapproved of for racial, cultural or religious reasons?

After I realized that this guy's parents disapproved of me because of my religion, I asked my parents if they felt the same way. My mother responded, "I thought we raised you better than that? Of course we don't care...we just want you to be happy." I had a wonderful mother.

Of course, my father DID tell me to stop marrying men who's last names ended in a vowel.

See ya soon!

Meg

PS Stay tuned, in my next post I am going to "out" my sister's husband and the bimbo that he cheated with. This is going to be a GOOD one!

Meg...

"...Have a great time.....enjoy the sun!..."

Well...I'm here!!! I think I see the sun about to peek out through the clouds. It was cold and raining when I landed...imagine my disappointment! I was dressed for warmth and I got coldth.

When I got to my dad's place, I immediately changed back into my long johns and warm clothes. The weather reports said that it would be close to 70 so I'll wait and see if it ever does get that nice. I'm sure it will. Now all I need is a ride to the beach and I'll be happy. My sister is here...I haven't seen her in quite some time. I don't even remember the last time that I saw her. So, she and I will be spending some time together.

Now...where are the folks who said that they wanted to get together when I came to the Tampa area? I'm here!

So far I've gotten up, showered, primped and flown to another state, gone grocery shopping, cleaned my father's kitchen and helped my father paint the same kitchen. It's not even noon yet. I'm sure I'll be needing a nap soon and then I'll be ready to act like I'm in Florida and grab some rays. If the water is anywhere close to warm, I'll jump in it when I go to Clearwater. I didn't bring my bathing suit, but that's never stopped me before.

If there's a person in this state with an extra ticket to the Super Bowl, I'll change my airline reservations and go with you! And don't worry...the PB&J sandwiches are on me!

OK...my sister is right behind me asking me if I want to go to the mall with her. There's little else that I despise more than malls...but very few that I love as much as my sister so I guess I'll go. BUT...I'm leaving my MasterCard here.

See ya later!

Meg

Meg...

"...Terrorists Hide behind an EVIL IDEOLOGOY... I won't even suggest it is a religion..."

You know, how interesting that you should say that. This afternoon, while channel surfing, I switched to a show called "Islam at a Glance". I've heard so many times what a "beautiful religion" Islam is. Well, I decided to take a glance myself and see what I could learn.

I was stunned. There was an American man who was doing nothing but preaching hate and blaming Jews and Christians for every ill that has ever befallen the community from which he came. Not once did he mention taking responsibility for one's own lot in life and not once did I hear anything "beautiful" nor anything close to it. Of course, I won't judge the entire "religion" by that one show...but I see where the hate and bigotry comes from. I was disgusted.

I actually sent Air Tran an e-mail yesterday, applauding their actions. All of the news and media agencies here seem to be on the side of the bratty three year old, and the poor excuse for parents. Air Tran would probably like to know that they are supported!

I say kudos to Air Tran for taking that course of action!

I bet you a dollar to a donut that they HAVE heard from many people who applaud their actions. I would imagine that the first people to do so were the other passengers on that airplane. Personally, I would have given them a standing ovation. I don't know how many dinners or pleasant flights have been ruined because of some idiot parent who refuses to make their child behave.

As a parent, you have ONE responsibility, to raise productive members of society. If you fail in that job, society will do it for you. A swift smack on tha backside is nowhere near as cruel as what happens to the backsides of prisoners.

Those nit wit parents sat on television with the brat climbing all over them and their couch...showing the entire world what failures they are as parents. I don't know what channel applauded the parents, every announcer that I heard agreed with Air Tran.

There's a huge difference between abuse and discipline and we need far more discipline in today's world. I am so thankful that the mother of my grandchildren is a relatively strict parent...I love those kids far too much to watch them grow up to be misfits or outcasts.

And yes, parents do seem to want to be friends of their kids rather than parents. I can't imagine where that comes from but I did hear my aunt say once that, "Dr. Spock ruined a generation of children." I think she was right.

For some reason, schools don't even seem to get it. They want to take away grades and competition. That's INSANE! Did you know that 14 year old female competitive swimmers of today can beat the times set by Johnny Weismuller? Competition did that. It makes people strive to do better and better. The fear of having one kid called a loser has taken away the honor of others being called winners. I think that my parents were about the last generation of parents to have society behind them when it came to raising their own kids. If I would have called the cops on my parents, the cops would have high fived them for caring enough to be the bad guy when it was necessary to do so.

OK...I'm packed and ready to fly away. My flight leaves at 6:50. Talk about competitive...I paid $49 each way for my tickets to Tampa. There's a local consumer reporter named Clark Howard and he has a website ( www.ClarkHoward.com ) that has the best deals in town. Of course, the town is Atlanta, but I would think that most other towns should have something simlilar. Barring an emergency or an immediate need, I only buy things on sale and I never buy airline tickets until I'm sure that I've found the best prices possible.

I printed out the form that I need to report a lost passport although I know that I didn't lose it, Rick took it. As soon as I get my new one, I'll dedicate more effort to finding a great deal to Europe. Clark Howard's website had tickets to London under $300...this shouldn't be too tough. If you take your time and put forth the effort, you can travel for a lot less than one would think. And now you can't even go on a Carribean cruise without a passport so I HAVE to get that sucker replaced.

I took a good long nap today and then I got up and packed. Now I have a few more things to do before I go to sleep and I have to be out of bed before 4 so I should be off. If I have a minute before I leave in the morning, I'll pop in to say hello, otherwise, the next time I speak to you it will be from Tampa...and I won't be wearing the long johns and sweats that I'm wearing now!

Have a good one and I'll see you tomorrow!

Meg

I just watched United 93...

...and it made me angry all over again. I hope potential hijackers realize that they will never be able to take over another plane again. That was the last flight that held passengers that would sit quietly by for any length of time while terrorists wreak havoc.

I don't even think that we need air marshalls...a plane load of American citizens will take care of any bastards that ever try that crap again.

God bless the people on that flight.

Meg

I heard that an Air Tran...

...flight was recently annoyed by a family who simply could not keep their kids quiet. The airline finally kicked the family off the plane. I had that problem once.

A few years ago I was headed back from Heathrow and there was a family with 3 kids who would simply not stay in their seats. They were running up and down the aisles and playing with flashlights as we tried to watch the in flight movie. They were loud, annoying, and the parents did NOTHING to stop them. I spoke to the flight attendant who spoke to the parents but it did no good. I took matters into my own hands. The father and I were both in aisle seats, across from each other and he was a few seats ahead of me. Everytime the kids acted up, I bounced a tic-tac off the man's head, then I pretended to be alseep when he looked back. Like Pavlov's dogs, he eventually made the connection and he finally shut the brats up.

I often wonder where that father is and how annoying the kids are now that they're a few years older.

OK, I had to tell you guys that. I woke up at 4 and wrote a LONG post but the puter crashed and I just got back on. So...when I'm up to writing that all again, I'll be back.

See ya soon!

Meg

Hello there!

I'm having a relatively boring day. Except for going to the doctor, I have nothing to do so I think it's time to come up with a plan. As much as I like being alone most of the time, I do like the IDEA of having a steady guy to hang out with. What a predicament.

Basically, I would like a guy that I could stick in the drawer and bring out when I want to play with him. That kind of guy is tough to find. Most of them either suffocate me or ignore me, I can't seem to find an in-between type of guy.

There was the one guy who Rick accused me of cheating with. I never did cheat on Rick...and even after we broke up, the guy never took any opportunity to make a move on me. So, we remain friends, nothing else.

I haven't seen him in a while but over the weekend, I heard something that I find rather distressing. My son ran into him at a sports bar the other night and the guy stuck to my son and his friends like glue. One of my son's friends was drunk and for some reason, he invited my friend to come with them to another one of my son's friend's house. So, he did. I used to wonder why this guy never made any moves on me but I stopped wondering a long time ago and just accepted the fact that he and I were going to be nothing but friends. But...I don't like the idea of my son and I sharing a friend. I doubt that my son likes it much either. As a matter of fact...I know he doesn't.

This guy is nice enough, but he's rather odd...in a quirky sort of way. He plays the accordion and the mandolin...not that there's anything wrong with that. But, it is tough to keep a straight face while being serenaded with an accordion. I try really hard, but I can draw blood biting my lip as hard as it takes to keep myself from cracking up. Oh well...it could always be worse.

Anyway, that leaves me back where I started...with nothing to do. I think I'm going to just go out and find myself something fun to do that doesn't require accompaniment. I'd love to go bowling...but I hate not being able to take score and it seems as though parents don't teach their kids bowling manners anymore. On top of that, every time I go, the shoes stick and the lady working at the counter just says, "Yeah...you need your own shoes, ours always do that." Seriously.

Alrighty then...off I am to find an adventure. To paraphrase Frodo..."Be careful when you leave the house, you never know where your feet are going to take you." Well, I'm curious to find out. So, I'll be on my way...to where I do not know. But, I'll be back soon!

Meg

I'm traveling again...

...back to Florida. My sister seems to need me so I'm on my way to see what I can do, if anything, to help her. I love my baby sister and can't stand to think of her being unhappy. I found some really cheap airplane tickets which is good because I'm sort of broke after paying for the insurance.

I had to keep the policy that I had before and even though Rick is supposed to keep me insured, he just can't afford that kind of money plus the alimony so I told him to pay me what he had been plus the amount that he was paying for the insurance before. I will lose in this deal, but it isn't easy for him either. I know that I probably shouldn't do this...no good deed goes unpunished...but it's better than having him give up completly because he can't afford the entire thing. He's already working two jobs as it is. Someone should have told him that it's cheaper to keep her.

I leave for Tampa on Thursday morning. I really need to get away because I've been working far too much. So much so that I haven't had much time for anything else except sleep. When I think back over the past two months, it's all a blur. I barely remember anything and I've forgotten to call people that I should have called and I've not done things that I should have done.

While I'm there, I will be doing what I can to get a job down there. First, I'll see what I can do for my baby sister, then I'll take care of business. Oh, the flight was $49 each way...not bad, 'ey? I could have flown into Orlando for $39 but that's over and hour from my dad's place and he'll be picking me up. I'll be back in time for my Super Bowl date and with any luck at all...I'd love to see the Tampa blog buddies. Oh, then I need to see the Atlanta people, I ended up working the last time I was supposed to see them. I have a tough time saying no when work calls but I've got to...I need a life. The money isn't any good if I can't ever spend any of it on anything besides bills.

OK, that's it...I just wanted to tell you about Tampa...back soon!

Meg

I was reading another blog...

...and the guy who writes it (Andrew from To Love Honor and Dismay) mentioned love songs. He put the words to his favorite love song and invited his readers to do the same. So, I did. I have always loved In My Life by the Beatles although there isn't any one guy who I associate it with. I guess I'm still waiting for someone to feel that way about me. These are the words:

There are places i'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends i still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life i've loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When i think of love as something new
Though i know i'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know i'll often stop and think about them
In my life i love you more
Though i know i'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know i'll often stop and think about them
In my life i love you more
In my life i love you more

I've had many songs with many guys over the years. Sister Golden Hair still reminds me of Mark Sokol from 1975. I Honestly Love You will forever be the song that brings back memories of Dave Bachar (my highschool sweetheart). There are a few others and I always smile when I hear them. Rick and I shared a couple of songs, Rock Steady was probably the one that was "our song". But, I can't listen to that one with any fond memories just yet.

With any luck at all...The Super Bowl Shuffle will be my song to share with the guy who came over yesterday to watch the game with me. My cheering, yelling and all around bitching at the TV didn't scare him off so he'll be back for the Super Bowl. His team was out of the running early so he is cheering for the Bears...for me.

I had such a great time, after the game we sat and chatted for hours, sipping that bottle of champagne that I've been saving for a special occasion. We listened to 70's music and just enjoyed each others company. When he left, I walked him to the door and there was that uncomfortable moment when I could tell he wanted to kiss me but didn't know if he should. So, I took care of that...I grabbed his head and planted a big fat juicy one on him.

It was so nice not to have to fight a guy off on the first date...he was the perfect gentleman. He didn't even mind when I received a phone call from someone I haven't heard from in years, the wife of an ex-Bear who was on the team that won the Super Bowl in the 85-86 season. She found me through the blog and invited me to a party that a bunch of them are having in Chi-Town and I'm going to do everything I can to make it there. I hope I can go...there's someone that I would LOVE to see again.

Anyway, I'm going to look up plane prices to Chicago now. I'll be back later, have a great day and send me your own love songs...I'd love to hear what songs you guys remember.

See ya,

Meg

YES!!!!!


Is it luck or is it talent? I can't tell, the BEARS make it look so easy. There are 5 minutes left but this game is OVER and the BEARS have WON!!!!

See ya at MIAMI!!!!

Meg

Before I left for the store...

...I HAD to read Abby. That nit wit has done it again. Look at this:

I have a 15-year-old nephew I have suspected is gay for a long time. I recently saw his profile on myspace.com because I search there often, checking on my daughter. I found that he is on there and has listed his sexual orientation as "Bi."...I am sure that his mother, my sister, is not aware of this. Is it my responsibility to tell her? -- DISTRESSED AUNT IN MIAMI

DEAR DISTRESSED AUNT: If your nephew were engaging in self-destructive behavior, I would say tell his parents. However, identifying one's sexual orientation doesn't fall into that category.

OK...if the aunt found that her straight 15 year old neice was online advertising her sexuality, would THAT be considered self-destructive behavior? Would Abby still say that the aunt should continue to keep the mother in the dark?

Or, do we just "protect" the 15 year old gay kids who are out there setting themselves up for a predator to pounce on? Gay, straight, bi or somewhere in between, a 15 year old child does NOT have the maturity to handle the potential freaks that might just see his myspace ad as an invitation to engage in some kind of conversation that could easily lead to a meeting and potentially a disappearance. How many young children need to be kidnapped before we take this sort of thing seriously?

Jeez, is it me? What do you guys think?

Now I HAVE to go to the store.

Meg

By the way...

Today is my date/football game with benefits...I hope! So, if you watch the Bears game, think of me. I'll be trying to sneak a bit closer to the guy who will be on my couch watching the game with me. I am going to go shopping now (at 7 AM!) to get the stuff to make appetizers with. With any luck at all, this will turn into a Super Bowl date as well!

Meg

I expected someone to say this:

"I couldn't just pretend everything was okay. Affairs are deal-breakers and I wouldn't put up with it. Just my two cents."

...when I answered the woman who wondered if she should confront her husband about his affair. I consider affairs deal breakers as well, thus my divorce. But, I suffered a couple of them before I had the confidence to divorce my little cheater.

That confidence was a hard time coming and if I had left Rick earlier, I would have, and did, take him back. I was wrong to have done that and I regret it everyday of my life. But, I wasn't ready to leave him before and I don't think that lady is ready yet either. I read her entire email and she just is not ready to confront him. They have small children and she doesn't know what to do. I wrote her back with some more advice about how to leave when there are small children involved.

I know from experience and from watching friends that if a person leaves their spouse before they're ready to leave, they'll regret the decision and just end up going back for more abuse later.

I have a very good friend whose husband is a drug addict and she refuses to believe it. I listen to her over and over again, telling me the same stories about what he does and how he behaves when he is high or when he is looking for a fix. It's so odd because my friend doesn't so much as smoke. But, although she knows what her husband DOES...she isn't ready to call him an addict and demand he get help or kick his ass out. He doesn't work and hasn't in years. They have 2 small kids and neither of them have ever seen their father leave the house to go to work.

My friend will describe his behavior and if she heard me describe that behavior, she would see it for what it is...but she just doesn't see it when it comes to her own husband. Amazing.

The mind is an interesting thing. It will tell you exactly what you want to see or what you need to see to continue destructive behavior. When I had my first kid, I gained a LOT of weight. I didn't try to lose it until after I stopped nursing the baby. When I did finally diet, I went nuts. I became anorexic. I remember stepping out of the bathtub, onto the scale. I weighed 92 pounds and I'm 5'8". Then I looked at myself in the mirror and saw fat on me. There couldn't have possibly been fat on me at that weight...but my mind absolutely saw it.

When I had the cancer the year that Rick had the trailer trash, I got down to 88 pounds. I didn't want to lose that weight and I saw the reality of it...I was emaciated. I tried everything that I could to gain weight then. Now I'm still rather thin, but I've gained 30 punds since Rick left and I see myself for what I am...a skinny chick.

You can't really argue with your own mind or your own heart. It makes us do things that no one else would understand. If a friend did some of the things we do, we would see the situation for exactly what it is. The lady who wrote to me will see what she needs to see...when she needs to see it. That's why I told her to go and get proof of the affair. Not only will it help her later in court...it might just convince her of the reality of her husband's behavior.

I left my first husband twice before I left him for good. He was abusive as well and I let that slide. It was only when he had an affair that I left for good. At that time, those were my standards...odd as they were. I look back now and think that I was an idiot for staying...but nothing could have convinced me to leave until I was ready...and when I was, I did.

I've listened to too many friends complain about husbands that they had no intention of leaving even though the husband's were total assholes. They were abusive, cheaters, and addicts...but my friends were not ready to hear the truth, much less accept it. Although they weren't ready to hear it...if they had just listened to what they, themselves, were saying, they would have been blown away that they were talking about the man that they loved. Eventually, almost all of them did leave, but they did so when they were ready to leave and sick of the treatment that they were receiving. In the meantime, nothing I could say would have mattered. I lost a very good (childhood!) friend trying to tell her what her husband was all about and I won't lose another one like that.

That's why I always say to be your own best friend and talk to yourself. I do that often now. I used to feel the need to talk to my friends and see what they thought when I had the answers all the time. It's sort of like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz...it wouldn't have helped if Glenda told Dorothy that she had the power to go home all the time...Dorothy had to learn that lesson for herself. And, unfortunately, some of us have to suffer a few extra rounds of abuse before we are ready to do what we have to do. We all have our breaking point...and I'm sure that the lady who wrote that letter will have hers as well. I just hope that she doesn't waste too much time finding her own. I did, and for that, I will be forever sorry.

If I would have left the first time that Rick cheated, I would have been single again at 31 instead of 47. Ain't that a bitch?

Meg...

"...I recently discovered that my husband has been having an affiar and I'm heartbroken. I keep pretending that everything is OK just to see if he will stop seeing the other woman....should I confront him or should I keep on waiting to see if he will change his mind and come back to our family?...How do you stay so happy?..."

My mother once told me that I shouldn't say a word if my husband cheated on me. She was telling me to do what you're doing and to just wait for him to come back to our marriage. She said that if I were to confront him, he would be forced to make a decision and that I might not like the decision that he made. I understand her point but I couldn't do that. I couldn't keep my mouth shut no matter how hard I tried. I did try to do it once...but I just couldn't.

I can't tell you how to deal with this because the stakes are so high and they're yours to pay. I guess you just have to do some thinking about how you want to live your life and what it is that you want out of it. As tough as it was to divorce my husband, I couldn't live my life constantly wondering if he was lying to me. I didn't want a divorce, but I didn't want a husband who liked to screw other women either.

One way or another, before you let him know that you're aware of his affair, I think that you should try to get indisputable proof of it. If you can, it will be very helpful whatever you decide to do. If you want to divorce him, you'll have the proof you need for court and if you decide to confront him, he won't be able to deny it. He most likely will do that, so be ready if you do ask him about what he's doing. If you don't have any proof, he'll just deny it and then tell you how nuts you are for accusing him of such a thing. And, the worst part of that is that you will WANT to believe him. So you need to be absolutely sure of what you're accusing him of before you say a word.

Once I drove to Rick's mistress' trailer park and parked my car outside of her trailer. She must have been home because when I got back to my house, Rick was very angry at me, but he had no reason for it. He knew that I had just come from his tramp's house yet he wouldn't say a word about her...he just told me how he didn't love me anymore. She called him to tell him that I was outside of her door and yet he still wanted to pretend that he was a great guy and I was a jealous fool.

Another affair that he had ended when I found a love note that he had gotten from another slut that he was dating. She wrote things in that letter that no woman would write unless she was sleeping with the guy she was writing to. Yet, when I showed Rick the letter and confronted him, he denyed it all. Then, he grabbed the letter and I never saw it again. That made it tough for me to read over again so I was able to believe him after some time had past. I knew better, but I wanted to believe him. So, get yourself some good proof before you do anything and put it somewhere that he'll never be able to find it.

I may sound happy and for the most part, I usually am. But, I'm still sad about the death of my marriage and the creeps that murdered it. After some time passes, you sort of get used to the way that your life has turned out and it doesn't hurt as much anymore. I would have preferred to have been happy with Rick for the rest of my life but that option was taken away from me. So, I'm making the best of what I have left and that's ME. I'm still here and I have to keep on living, as tough as it may be at times.

Whatever happens, you'll be fine. Time does heal most wounds and the ones that it doesn't heal certainly hurt less and less as time goes by. Life just takes over and before you know it, you're having fun and living your life again. It just happens and you couldn't stop it if you wanted to. If I could do anything over again...I can't imagine what it would be. I suppose I could have tried to stay awake more and be a bit sexier than I was...but I don't know how I could have done that when I was so sick. And, that sort of implies that I did something wrong and I didn't. If Rick had any problem with me and our marriage, he could have told me and I would have done more. But he always said that everything was fine and I believed him.

When someone does something so wrong as cheating on their spouse, it can't be blamed on anyone else. Cheating is wrong however you look at it. So, it isn't your fault and it wasn't mine. And, affairs aren't about anything one person does wrong...they're all about a weak person who wants the cake and wants to eat it too.

If you want to keep on pretending everything is fine, that's what you need to do. If you aren't ready to leave, it won't matter what you say to your husband. When you're ready to leave, you will. In the meantime, all of you efforts are for nothing. If you leave your husband before you're ready to leave him, you'll just end up going back like I did. Then, it will happen again. Sooner or later you'll be ready to leave or he'll just leave. The only thing that I would suggest is that you take action while it's still in your power to do so. If you don't...things will end up out of your control and you won't have a choice in the matter at all.

Meg

Hi there!

I didn't have to go to work tonight after all. I was cancelled. I guess that's the opposite of being called in, you get called out. This has happened 3 times now and it's always a pleasant surprise. They pay you for two hours if they cancel you and call it "inconvenience pay". Whatever...I used the spare time to go shopping.

I started shopping early...that's for damn sure. Some uniform/scrub and shoe company had a sale in one of our conference rooms. There have been signs all over the hospital for the past couple of weeks but people have been writing, "Too expensive" all over them. So, even though I needed a few more uniforms, I decided to pass the sale. Then, my toe came through my 20 year old Nurse Mates. I paid 60 bucks for them in '87 and they've stood me in good stead. 60 bucks was considered outrageous back then and I still remember staring at them, trying them on...going back and forth in my head over whether or not I could justify 60 bucks on one pair of shoes. But, they WERE Nurse Mates and they WERE comfortable. Oh, and...they were sort of ugly. They were just big saddle shoes without the black stripe. Anyway, I was going to go shopping Monday for shoes...but last night my big toe popped out of a small hole that's been developing over the past month or so. I couldn't wear them like that tonight...so I just decided to bite the bullet and buy a pair at the hospital's sale after I got off of the floor this morning. (Actually, it was a function of the Volunteer's Office.)

I was amazed at how many different colors they had. White was the rarest color there was. Up until recently, I always wore white....uniforms, shoes, socks...the whole nine. But when I took this job, I gave. I had to buy new stuff when I started this job anyway because of all the weight I lost when I was sick. So I went ahead and bought a few pretty scrubs. Tonight I bought a few more. I found three huge clearance racks at the uniform shop at the mall and went through them with a fine tooth comb. I was finally able to find three tops and three pairs of pants. And...nothing that I purchased cost more than $12.99. As a matter of fact, most of the stuff was only $9.99. So, I made out quite well.

I also had to buy a new stethoscope. My old one was falling apart. The new one is good...I hate the cheap ones. I can't hear a thing with them and I wonder who in the world can. If you ever see one of the cheap, black (they sometimes come in other colors...you can tell the cheap ones by the stiffness of the "rubber" part. They should be thick and flexible.) stethoscopes, put them on and listen to your belly. You should hear grumbling. I never do with the cheap ones so I get the good ones.

Of course, I don't buy the most expensive...but I buy the best that you can at any uniform shop. They're about 30 bucks and they last for years. (OOH! I just remembered that I forgot to get shoe white. I still have some left over from my old ones but I wanted to get the kind that you buff on instead of the kind that I have. It's the type that reminds you of a Bingo dabber-type thingie.) I suppose they have places where you could spend a LOT of cash on a stethoscope.

I think I paid the same for my BP cuff as I did for the stethoscope, if memory serves. I don't trust the new ones. I like the old kind that I listen to myself. The newfangled machines will get you in the right ballpark, but they are nowhere near as accurate as the old fashioned ones. I'll take a BP manually if I think that there's a problem or if one of the machines gives me a dangerous BP.

Back to the white uniforms...they're tough to find. And white dresses are almost IMPOSSIBLE to find outside of a catalog or online. You can't try those on so that's no good. Things sure have changed since I became a nurse a thousand years ago. We couldn't wear so much as CLEAR nail polish because it harbored micro-organsims. Now they wear those hideously long acrylic or ceramic nails that are notorious for becoming infected with fungi. Yuch.

The white uniforms were great for a few reasons. First of all, I could bleach them! God knows what you carry into your house on those clothes. I would go straight to the washer, take off my uniform and toss it in the washer. Also, it's traditional. That means something. I can do without the stupid caps...but I like the idea of wearing a white uniform...it meant something. (I know there are a bunch of nurses out there saying that the caps meant something as well...but when I was in nursing school, the caps just meant that we were nursing students.) One more thing...when you have a confused patients...you can, at times, calm them down by telling them to look at what you and ask, "What am I wearing? They say, "A white uniform." Then, I would ask, "Who wears white uniforms?"

"Nurses.", they would answer. And then they would get a bit calmer. It works especially well with older people and they actually prefer the white as well. They've told me numerous times that "You can't tell who's a nurse and who's a housekeeper...they all wear scrubs."

Whatever. I think I'll get a few white uniforms next time, just for a change of pace. But, I did get some pretty stuff today! I can't wait to wear them now...along with my new shoes.

See ya!

Meg

2HOURS!!!

That's how long it took me to post the following post that took me 20 minutes to write. I should have gone to sleep after I wrote it as I usually do, but I was bound and determined to post the stupid thing so here it is:

Well...

...I did it. I just walked right up to him and asked his sexy ass to come over to my house this weekend for appetizers and football. Neither one of us knew when the next game was so I have to check that out...but barring any unforeseen circumstances, it's a date. I hope he thinks of it as a date, I sure do. And, ever since I first laid eyes on him and then heard him speak two coherent sentences, I've wanted to go out with him. He is bright, witty, easy going and he has a very pleasant, cheerful attitude. I like that.

Although I rarely drink, I do ocassionally buy a nice bottle of wine if I should come across one. Pretty soon on I will be the proud owner of a rather impressive wine rack. I can offer him his choice of any number of fine bottles of wine, or...as most likely will be the case, he'll probably just want beer. I haven't decided what type of beer to get. I could ask him, but I don't want to act like I'm going out of my way...at least not too much. So men...any suggestions? Regarding the beer, I mean.

That reminds me, I bought a bottle of wine to open and drink from...it's Ruinite...Lambrusco. Ah, that is a lovely wine for the women who hate the taste of alcohol. I can imagine me drinking quite a little bit of that stuff if I could stay awake long enough. You know, that's a lovely idea, I think that I will have a glass of Lamrusco. This is my evening...right? Yes it it. I shall toast you guys right now! (Well, not right "NOW"...actually, because I don't have a glass of it in front of me...but that can be quickly remedied. BRB.

AAAHHH. That's a lovely glass of wine. I'm actually quite pleased to even have any wine available when the rare urge hits me. Usually, I pay a LOT of money for a couple of glasses of wine. Apparently my son believes that any alchohol product that has been around for more than ten or eleven days...is community property. I paid 70 bucks for a glass and a half of pinot grigio once. Anyway, the Lambusco isn't too expensive and it's really, really, really good. So it galls me that the kid would suck that bottle (or my pinot!) down when he would just as well have a cheap bottle of muskatel. But as I said....AAAHHH, I am just happy that he finally allowed me to keep a bottle long enough to have when I'd like it. (As she takes another sipp..."AAAAHHHHHHH.", she sighed contentedly.)

So, what was I speaking about? OH! My nurse friend and our "date". When nurses give report, they do it one on one. We have to literally go face to face and tell the oncoming nurse everything she needs to know about the patient's condition and what kind of tests, procedures or surgeries, if any, that they're having. That takes about 5 minutes a patient, maybe less if there's just nothing going on. When sexy nurse dude and I give report to each other...we trade humorous quips that have taken on some rather flirtatious undertones. I like a guy who can keep up with my mind when it comes to conversations like ours.

OK...now I MUST go to bed!

Ya'll have a good day and I'll see you later!!!

Meg

Meg...

"...What happened to the date with the foreign nursewho you were going to have over and watch the bears game??..."

I never said it would be last Sunday, I had the grandkids this past weekend and somehow, I just knew that there would be more than ONE MORE BEARS GAME!!!!!! So, I was waiting until I ran into the guy...now I know where he works all the time, I keep seeing him when he's floating to the unit that I seem to spend most of my time. It's an ER overflow unit and you never know what you"ll get. Anyway, today is Wednesday and I know where he works. I'll hunt his ass down if I have to tonight...thank's for reminding me.

"...although my ex never told me that he was unhappy and he never gave us a tangible opportunity to reconcile..."

Yeah, cowards that they are. They didn't have the balls to leave until they had some white trash to fuck while they make the transition out of everything they are supposed to be avowed to. Mine was a prince too.

"...It's no use even mentioning the things you wrote about on this post. People will think that you are a crazy conservative, even though all you want is for a stable society..."

Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. I'm not talking to them, they're a lost cause. I'm justing letting you know that you aren't the only one who thinks that way. There's nothing wrong with slowing change. Why would that be inherently evil? Did you read Future Shock?

"...this causes fathers who want to do the right thing to be looked on as an oddity as an unnecessary third wheel to the determent of the kids..."

Did you read the thing I wrote for a man's online magazine? I'll have to find that sucker.

Here it is sorry...you have to use the entire thing. I can't have something long on the blog...it messes it up):

http://diaryofmydivorce.blogspot.com/2005/12/
kim-basinger-seems-to-love-backing.html

"...This is extremely irresponsible advice and there should be a letter writing campaign to let her know how stupid she is..."

I thought so too. Here is the link if you'd like to do that:

www.DearAbby.com

"...In my opinion the time the father spends with the kids is so much more important than the amount of money he pays for child support..."

I've often thought that, given the choice, I would have taken my father over a bunch of cash as a kid. I can't imagine what I would have traded a father for. I had a good father. He wasn't perfect, but he loved us and he was at home. Who else would have been if it wasn't him? Not all the men that I've met are bums.

We tell kids stories with wonderful morals to them and then we say that adults don't have to honor those morals. It doesn't make any sense...surely a father can provide things that cash won't buy.

Hi there...

I took the wee ones to the Georgia Aquarium on Sunday and they loved it. I took a bunch of pictures of their amazed faces. They did that face so often that I ran out of film before I get to the fish touching pools. It was quite impressive and I'm hard to impress, having come from Chicago, the home of some of the best zoos, aquariums and museums in the world.

The Georgia Aquarium is the largest in the world and it has whalles and whale sharks and some huge catfish. It had some huge hish...period. There were beautiful jelly-fish and amazing seahorses. They had tiny worms of some sort that stuck their heads out of the sand and then went back in when a fish came by. They acted in unison and it was pretty neat. The kids couldn't see much because of how short they are but I taught them to push their way through the crowd, they'd never see anything if they didn't do that. And as short as they are, nobody really minds because even 7 year olds can see over them.

I bought us all season passes so I can bring them back and go by myself again, that's pretty cool. Now I have someplace fun to go for free if I want to.

So I had the housekeepers over with the grandchildren. That's sort of like mixing an acid with an alkali...you just get a base and start out neutral again. So, I hope that the housekeepers come back before the kids do this time, I'd love to start ahead of the game just once.

The Bears won today...I was pleased but I didn't get to see the game since I was at the aquarium and I'm glad. They won in overtime and I don't think I could have really handled that much tension. I prefer games where the Bears are so far ahead that my heart doesn't skip a beat when the other team scores.

I hear Bonanza coming on in the backgroud...that means that it's 6 AM. I think I want to make waffles today....doesn't that sound good? I think so. If I make them now my kid can have one before he leaves. He'd say "No" if I asked him but if I just hand him the waffles, he'll eat it. So, that's what I'm gonna do.

See ya,

Meg

Dear Abby...

...has done it again. What an idiot she can be. A man wrote to ask for advice because his "materialistic" wife doesn't work but she wants certain things that she expects him to pay for...

"My wife, "Darla," and I have been married for 10 years. We have three children. I have always worked hard to provide for my family.Darla is very concerned with material things and likes to "keep up with the Joneses." I work two jobs to maintain this lifestyle, sometimes literally from sunup to sundown. Lately, I feel burned out...."
FRUSTRATED IN PHILLY

DEAR FRUSTRATED: "My advice is to offer her the option of marriage counseling, and if that doesn't work, consult a lawyer. It may be expensive, but at least you won't be responsible for her debts. And it could add years to your life."

So Abby has taken the lazy way out, offering counseling or a divorce. Not once did she mention the fact that the wife is at home taking care of 3 small children. Not once did she consider what those kids would go through should the parents divorce. Not once did she consider the fact that this couple tooks vows to stay together forever.

I admit that the husband has a point, but why is divorce the answer to that problem? I would have told him to stop paying for the things that they don't need. The wife couldn't keep on spending the money if it just wasn't there. Wouldn't that be easier that ruining a marriage? Abby copped out on that answer and I think she is part of the problem, not at all part of the solution.

When I was a little girl, my mother was the only mom in the neighborhood that had a job outside of the home. I felt funny about that since all of my friend's mothers were stay at home moms...a phrase that hadn't been invented yet because all moms stayed at home. It was just the way things were back then, mothers stayed at home and fathers worked to pay the bills. In one short generation, things changed so much that by the time my youngest went to high school, I quit my job to be able to stay at home with my last kid and lived to regret it. It was my last chance to "mother" one of my own and I wanted to do a good job of it.

Well, when I announced my decision to my son, his response blew me away. He said, "What do I tell my friends when they ask me what my mother does?" I wanted to say, "Tell them that I wash your dirty underpants."...but I didn't. I was just amazed how things had changed. I was embarrassed that my mother worked outside of the house and my kid was ashamed that his mother stayed at home. In one generation, the norm changed so much that mothers went from staying at home to raise their kids with society telling them that it was the right thing to do...and now Abby tells men to consult a lawyer if his wife refuses to get a job.

Abby should just publish a column that says, "Whatever your marital issue is, go to counseling and if that doesn't fix the problem, get a divorce." That's all she ever offers anyway, why take the time to repeat it everytime a person asks for her help with a marital problem?

The biggest problem in our country right now is the lack of two parent homes. That's not to say that all children MUST have two parents in the home, but I am quite sure that if more of them did, children would grow up much more able to function in society. When I watch talk shows that have some troubled kid on the program...inevitably, the mother is sitting next to the kid and the father is nowhere to be found.

The percentage of people in prison, whatever the race or nationality, who were raised without fathers is stunning. Children need fathers AND mothers...no matter what the Hollywood idiots are doing today. They have children out of some sick desire to grab attention and they consider the kids some sort of status symbol as though anyone couldn't do it. The entire country was outraged at the silly comment that the Vice President made when Murphy Brown had a child out of wedlock. Well, he was right.

Like it or not, TV and the people on it ARE absolutely role models...even if you're just referring to a character. Kids watch television and then they think that what those freaks are doing is normal when it isn't. Even if it is becoming the "norm", that doesn't make it right. Slavery was the norm a short time back...that didn't make it right.

I don't care what people do in their own lives but when the entire nation believes that there is no need for fathers, they're just a step away from doing away with mothers as well. There isn't one person out there trying to tell children that fathers are a good thing for kids, to the contrary, they are saying that a woman can do as well alone as she could with a man in her home. That's sweet and makes single mothers feel good, but it's complete bullshit.

A mother absolutely CAN do a good job raising kids without a man...but 100% of children would do BETTER if they had a father in their life. Of that, I am sure.

Society used to keep people in line by shunning those who stepped outside of the rules. They may have gone a bit overboard, but there were rules. Now, anything goes. If you want to raise kids without a father, go ahead and do it! Why not? You CAN...and you want to...so just do it. That's incredibly selfish and it doesn't do one thing to help the children. It serves no one but the woman who wants to have a child.

There isn't a thing anyone can say that would convince me that every single child would be better off with two parents. There are situations where the father is gone for one reason or another and the mother has to raise the kids alone, and that's a shame. But, in every case, kids would do better if they had a father in the home. This is assuming that the father isn't abusive, of course.

Abby did a terrible thing by telling that father to get a divorce. She did a rotten job of advising the father and she did something worse, she gave America one more reason to toss fathers out on their ears. This reminds me of a scene in the movie Broadcast News. I need to see if I can find the quote from what Albert Brooks told Holly Hunter when she announced that she was going to marry someone else. I'm going to go look for it, if I can find it, I'll post it...I'll be back in a while to either post that scene or to descibe it myself...I hope that I find it because I couldn't do justice to the words in that scene. Be right back.

Meg

Here's the quote I was talking about:

"What do you think the Devil is going to look like if he's around? Nobody is going to be taken in if he has a long, red, pointy tail. No. I'm semi-serious here. He will look attractive and he will be nice and helpful and he will get a job where he influences a great God-fearing nation and he will never do an evil thing... he will just bit by little bit lower standards where they are important. Just coax along flash over substance... Just a tiny bit. And he will talk about all of us really being salesmen. And he'll get all the great women."

Well, little by little, our standards are being lowered...one step at a time, the standards of our society are going downhill. If we had changed overnight...people would revolt over these types of changes. But, since we changed our standards relatively slowly, it's perfectly all right. That's a shame.

Hi there!

The housekeeper is on her way and she keeps getting lost even though she came here once before. She isn't from America so she has an accent...so badly that I keep saying "Stay on Polk Street!" and she keeps saying, "I'm turning onto Hope Street." My patience is wearing thin. I worked all night and the grandkids are spending the weekend here. I've spent the entire morning playing with them and brushing my granddaughter's long, long hair. That wasn't fun for anyone. My son took the kids out for a while so that the lady could work.

Ah, they're here! The lady brought her daughter so I bet that'll make the work go quickly. I can't wait to see my house cleaned up again, it will be worth every penny that I spend on it. Merry Maids wants $180 for 4 hours. They come in and do what they can in the 4 hours and leave it at that. This lady has someone working with her and she's going to stay for the entire weekend getting the house in shape. When I asked her what she charged, she said that she would clean the entire house, no matter how long it takes, for $150. I actually offered her more because I was expecting to pay a LOT more that $150. I just want the place clean, I'd rather pay her to do it well than to have Merry Maids come in and rush around for a few hours. After I pay that kind of money, I don't expect to be cleaning anything myself.

But, it is true that you have to clean up a bit before the maids come over. I don't want to pay someone to do my dishes or any of the piddly stuff that I can take care of myself. I sure do feel lazy sitting here typing with 2 women cleaning my house. Oh well, she's getting paid for it.

Last night at work I had a patient with a nutty son. He calls every nurse if he isn't there himself. He actually called to tell me to do some things that no nurse needs reminding, like flushing the tube that goes into the lady's stomach for tube feeding. I was rather annoyed. I don't need someone to tell me to be good to their parent, I would be nice to anyone.

Some people think that by constantly bitching they get something done. Well, all they accomplish is keeping people out of the room that their loved one is in. No one wants to set themselves up to get in trouble so when the family is a bunch of idiots, they see to it that the patient gets the bare minimum of care and that's not right. No one would go out of their way to be nice to someone who's family constantly complains to supervisors.

Another stupid thing that families do is to tell the nurse or doctor not to give them anything for pain or agitation. I don't know why anyone listens to these people. They never have a decent reason for not wanting the patient medicated for pain. And why they won't allow sedation is beyond me. If a patient gets agitated enough, they will pull every tube they have out and then they have to endure the re-insertion of those tubes. Family members like that should come and sit with the patient all night if they don't want them medicated. But, they never do. They just go home and sleep.

The pain in the ass from last night has quite a shock in store for him. He's sending his mother to a nursing home after she's discharged from the hospital. If he thinks he has troubles now, wait until he realizes the way that nursing homes operate...that'll make him appreciate all that we did for her and soon.

I shaved that lady last night because I can't stand to see a woman with a mustache. This one even had a beard. After I shaved her face, I went and got some small scissors and trimmed her eyebrows. They were long and most of them were grey. I'm quite sure that if the lady could speak, she would tell us to shave the stupid goatee off of her face and trim back those eyebrows.

OK then, the housekeepers are keeping house and my son has taken the kids out so it's time for me to take a bit of a nap. I'm quite sure that I'll be awoken to the sounds of the wee ones.

BTW! If you have a small kid, go to www.coloring.com and let the kids have fun, it's a really, really good site for kids to make pictures with. My granddaughter loves it and will only stop when the computer itself stops.

Alrighty, I'll be back after later!

Meg

Dear Meg,

"I used to get hit on by women all the time when I worked at the Limelight in NYC. And getting hit on by a chick is the same as getting hit on by a man...it warrants the same response that you'd give a guy you didn't want to go out with...Sorry, not interested - OR - Wanna go get coffee?? (if you were interested)."

Well, I wasn't interested as I am quite into men. I wasn't offended, actually I was more befuddled than anything else. I wasn't sure what she meant by her actions so I pretty much just kept thinking, "Is this chick HITTING on me?!" So, I didn't have the time to be offended, I was too confused to be offended.

For all I know, I HAVE been hit on by chicks before and just didn't realize it. Rick always said that men were hitting on me when I didn't realize it, maybe the female version just went over my head as well. The more I think about it, the more I'm sure she was absolutely hitting on me. She has the same look on her face that men get when one of them is attracted to me. It was a look that said, "Ooh baby baby...I like what I see." And she kept on looking at me. Every time I glanced over at her, she was looking at me and smiling.

I remember when I met my first lesbian (that I KNEW was lesbian anyway). I was 18 and was living in California, right outside of Frisco, surprisingly enough. We were both working at a nursing home and one afternoon we went outside to eat our lunch in the grass. We were chatting away and for some reason, she just came out and told me that she was a lesbian. My reaction was apparently funny to her, I said, "Oh, I've never met one before...can I touch you?" She didn't hit on me...I don't think.

If a chick came right out and hit on me to the point where I realized what she meant, I would handle it the same way I handle guys who hit on me that I'm not interested in, politely and graciously. I can't imagine it happening very often. Hell, it's only happened once that I'm aware of in 48 years.

I worked last night and my patients were pretty quiet so I was helping the other nurses. One of them said, "You obviously love being a nurse, it's shows in the way you jump to help other people." That made me feel quite good.

My son surprised me with a cell phone yesterday. I'm not sure why, but he did. I thought that was very nice of him. He didn't have to do that. Now, if I can only figure out how to use the stupid thing, I'll be golden. I can answer it and make calls of course, but I can't figure out anything else on it. I guess I have to call everyone that I know and tell them the number. For a minute and a half, I considered yanking the house phone, but knowing myself the way I do, I best not even think about that. At least I know where the house phone is, on the counter in the kitchen. I need a phone for when I lose the cell phone.

OH! I'm going to be starting another blog. It's actually just going to be a continuation of this one. Blogger is changing everything and every other day they put up a page so that when you sign on, you can't figure out how to get to the blog itself. You just get this dumb page that's advertising their new version. I don't want the new one, I'm happy with this one. But, it's annoying enough so that I am going to be looking for another server. Do you guys have any suggestions about blog servers that are really good? I don't know any other ones to look for and even if I did, I don't know if they're any good or not so any advice that you can offer would be greatly appreciated. As soon as I have the time, I'll change it. That'll probably be sometime very early next week. There will be a link to it on this one so that you can just come here and click on the link to get to the new one.

I have to work again tonight and then we'll have the grandkids for the weekend. So, I will be having a LOT of fun!

Oh, by the way, before my son gave me the phone, he set it up so that my name was on the screen. Instead of my name, he put "Grandma" on the phone. Isn't that adorable? He's such a peach.

Now I really have to go, I'm hungry and I need to make myself some french toast. I've had a hankering for it all night. I bought myself some real maple syrup so I'm looking forward to eating the french toast with that. Ooohhh....I still have blueberries! Those will be great on top of the french toast! I can't wait!

See ya later!

Meg

P.S. French toast reminded me of something. When we were growing up, my father gave us all silly nicknames. I was Peggy the Pig (I just loved that), my brother Kevin was Knucklebird Kevin, Wayne was Freddy the Frog, Lori was Lori Bug, Mike was Mickey Mouse and Marie....was French Toast.

One day right after they brought her home from the hospital, we were sitting around the table eating french toast for breakfast. Someone mentioned that we all had nicknames and asked my dad what we were going to call the new baby. He asked us what we thought and Mickey Mouse said, "How about French Toast!" So, the new baby was called French Toast. Thank God we weren't eating a butt roast.

Hi hi!!!


I just got home from work, completed my "walking in the door routine...and sat at my desk to chat with you guys. My routine consists of walking straight into my bedroom, emptying out my pockets, tossing my scrubs into the washer and then I plop myself on the couch. I can do that because I always wear long jons under my clothes. (I didn't war them Monday night when I went out...that wouldn't help matters at all.)

Sometimes I make a detour into the kitchen and make myself something to eat. Then, once I start, I usually end up eating a lot of food. The trick is...not to start. So, let's see what I can do now.

Yesterday, I fixed myself some scrambled eggs, link sausage and english muffins. Then, I had some of my candy which only whetted my appetite for sweets so I had a Krispy Kreme Donut. (Schocolate glaze with white (clear) glaze on the bottom. They were some damn good donuts. I also had a thing of yougurt with raspberries. That was good. Oh...and an icee. I can't get italian ices in Atlanta, at least not the kind that they have in Chicago.

"What flavors do you have?"

Duh. That question just makes me ill. There's only one italian lemonade flavor...and oddly enough, it's lemon. So, to get around that, they just call it italian ice. That really burns me up

Anyway...I saw a perfect townhouse for me. It has a seperate entrance/studio apartment downstairs for my son. He would have to pay the $400 extra that it would cost ($500 with a kitchette) but I think he could swing it. He would simply have to stop partying. That, and that alone would do the trick. I did. It works.

We all went thourgh a period of our life where we had a bunch of fun and I'm no different. I was ready to settle down there for a while and enjoy the rest of my life with the same "man". If you don't stop that behavior, you will find yourself without your partying friends because they've all grown up and are living their lives productively. Neccessity is a major motivator...I must say.

OK, I gave. I mixed some blueberries and mixed berry yogurt together and now I'm, eating it as I type this. I had planned on having rasberries but apparently I've eaten them all. The blueberries are fine.

One of the things that I like about being alone is the grocery options. I get whatever I want and I don't have to justify any of it. I don't have to worry about lots of meat. I like it occasionally, but not everyday. I much prefer fruit. It's so damned good and good for you. If you find a kind that you do like, you should make a habit out of buying them. They are SOOOOOO good.

I think that I'll plant some of those suckers in the summer. My great-grandmother, Pansy, had a sister, Willie...and Willie lived on the top of a mountain called Tip Top. I think it was Tip Top West Virginia although it wouldn't shock me to hear that it's in Virginia. Whatever. Anyway, Aunt Willie's house didn't have any running water. It was a nice house, it was just built before indoor plumbing and they never felt the need to update the water system. Eventually, my grandfather did it for her but in the meantime, when I stayed there overnight...I would dream that there was a huge flood and I had to swim to the outhouse. It was one of those recurring nightmares that you have when you're a kid. Anyway, my point...and I do have one...is that Aunt Willie had bluberries. And...she grew them in this funky red dirt they have here. So, I bet that I could grow berries of some sort, if not a few. I would appreciate any hints in that arena.

Well, I'm quite cold, all I have on are my long johns. I sleep in them, get up shower and put on clean long johns. I wouldn't imagine just wearing those flimsy scrubs. I would freeze my butt off.

And that leads me back where I was when I started this post...wearing the long johns that I worked in. Then, I'll shower after I wake up. But, for now...I must say Good Night!

Mg

Dear Meg...

"Are you sleeping with any of the men on your list?"

What am I? Hard of screwing? Of course I am. As a matter of fact...there's one who specifically serves that very purpose. In the interest of full disclosure, I've slept with two of them. But one was a better friend...to be kind...so I gave the job to another guy who seems to have a better understanding of the equipment. I don't have as much time as I used to, I can't waste it putzing around in the bedroom department.

I pretty much stick to one at a time...I find it less confusing. But, I have been known to overlap briefly. But, right now I'm being a pretty good girl. Of course, the guy that I'm talking about does read this...so who knows what I'm up to? :)

Aw...I'm just messin' with you baby...you know you have tenure.

I must say, he has earned the position. He beat out a much taller guy and one with a much nicer car. I like this one, he knows when to be efficient and when not to be. That shit just can't be taught...it's a gift. You either have it or you don't. And my lil' buddy has it. Another :)

So, he gets points for that and I have to say, a very high "A" for effort. He is rather enthusiastic about...shall we say...mealtime. I like that in a man. And...I'm an outstanding hostess, quite welcoming and warm.

I'm very satisfied with his work and I have to say that, barring any unforeseen circumstances, I think that he will have a lengthy and prosperous future with my little company here. Things certainly are looking up for my lil' buddy.

See ya, I worked all night and I have to go to sleep for a while. Have a good one!