Hey,

What's going on here? There is an entire conversation going on in the comments section and it has nothing to do with me. What's up with that? This is my blog I tell you, mine. I feel as though my blog is turning against me. Alas, my final respite has vanished into the air. Oh well.

So, I am thinking about going out and doing the picture thing I spoke of earlier but it is really cold out there and I haven't quite figured out where to go.

Oh, Mr. Last Saturday...I got him. Now, keep in mind that the other day he told me he would call and he even made me apologize for underestimating him. OK. I spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to figure that one out, had to get answers from Laszlo in Hungary, and I wasted your valuable reading time. So, I had to know. And this is what I came up with. I called him to invite him over.

"Tonight?" he queried.

"Oh, anytime, you name it."

I listened to him rolling up his tongue for a moment and then I said, "Just call when you figure out what is good for you." He jumped on the opportunity to get rid of me. There. I closed another case.

Some of the side bar conversations are about when a kid should leave home. My Dad said, "18 and out." I believed him. Being the oldest, and the first one to turn 18...I left. And check this out...nobody else left for years. It was a bluff, he never meant it. I was just foolish enough to take him seriously. I didn't think we had to wait for the folks to literally toss us out on our cans.

Being a mother, I find it a little bit more complicated than setting a date. I think each kid is different and as long as they have a plan and are working towards it, they will be fine.

As a parent, you have one job and that is to raise a productive member of society. Some of the kids might need a little longer than others to accomplish that. As long as they are working towards their goals, I don't see a problem with keeping them at home a little longer. I wouldn't make it too pleasant for them...you don't want them to get really comfortable. They most certainly should pay. And don't be cheap, let it hurt a little. Even if you save it for when they do get out on their own. Somewhere in their minds you want them to think, "I could rent my own place for a little more than this! And I would have my freedom, I'm outta here first chance I get."

As to having children at an older age, if you are healthy enough to get pregnant at 46, God bless you. You will find the energy, it will build up as they learn to move. But sleep...forget it. But then again...older women need less sleep so there ya go!

Damn, I am bored. Well, let me see if I can come up with somebody to do.

Meg

...despite what my daughters father said to me: "You will never amount to anything..."


I wonder, do they teach that in some mean and nasty school? It is such an oft said phrase. And just when you feel like you have amounted to nothing, you are expected to go out and make it alone. What a bitch.

You know, it appears as though I have been a little rough on men lately. That was pointed out to be by a man, naturally. I certainly didn’t mean to do that. It’s just that I am a woman and when I bitch, it will usually be about men. But in general, I prefer them to most women.

I don’t want to insult women but I don’t mind saying that, in general, we have the power to be more cruel than any man could ever be. Not all of us take advantage of that power, but far too many do.

I am referring to the women that, for no good reason, keep their kids from the fathers. (I know some men do this as well, so don’t get too upset.)

A woman may not agree with a man or anything he does in the child rearing category, but they don’t have to. The father still has a right to see his children. And of course I don’t mean child abusers, that is totally different. But if the abuse is only in your head or in your mouth when you call DFACS, you are a nut.

I have seen far too many women say whatever they needed to say and employ whatever means necessary to keep a father away from his child. Friends I would have never expected this from have done it. Rick’s ex did it. Now, he sucked as a husband and he was very violent toward ME, but he never hit his kids, not even when his son tried to burn the house down. He loves his kids.

It is amazing how a person can take a loving relationship between a father and child and totally trash it to pieces. These people lie to the kids, to the police, the judges, anybody who will listen. And in doing so, they take time away from children who may truly be being abused. So, that kind of makes them an accomplice in the abuse that goes on while the caseworkers are all attending to false claims.

A loving mother wants her children to be surrounded by as many people who love them as possible. When you use the children as weapons to hurt the other parent with, you are not at all a loving parent. You are far from it.

Right now there is a nut case in Paulding County Georgia who is doing this very thing. The father started out smart enough to record his visits with his daughter until the mother went out of her way to make him feel guilty about that. As soon as he took the camera away, the lies and the fake 911 calls started.

I always wonder about the mother’s family. Aren’t they decent enough to at least TALK to the nuts and try to get them to see that they are being ridiculous? Apparently, they believe whatever the mother tells them. If my daughter ever did anything like this, I would smack the tar out of her.

If there is a family that has gotten along just fine up until a divorce happens, why would someone believe that a member of that fine family would all of a sudden become something they had never been before? It doesn’t make any sense and it doesn’t ever happen. The man who the nut married is still the same man, he didn’t all of a sudden decide to beat up the child he loved so much just because there was a divorce. I guess there may, somewhere in the world, be a man who does change completely after a divorce, but it would generally be a change towards the wife, not the kids.

As baffled as I am at the parents who disappear into that good night...I am more so by parents who teach their children to hate, fear and lie about the other parent. A parent who does this kind of thing would do the kid a favor by disappearing.

Once again, this is a case of numbers, more women do this than men. I am sure there are men who are just as guilty of this and they are just as disgusting. And, being a woman, when I complain, it will come out as though I have a thing against men. I don’t. But I do have a thing against people who care so little about their children that they steal a loving parent from them. Not only have they stolen that parent, they have stolen that parent’s family as well. What do you call it when you steal a kid away from a parent? And then the kid ends up without an entire half of his/her family and most likely will grow up like their mother, bitter, hateful and unaware of how wonderful life can be when you have two loving parents who put the children first.

Hey there...

I just realized that it took a Hungarian man to be honest and informative. Are you American men going to let that happen???? I know that competition isn't as politically correct as it used to be but c'mon, you can't let us women think that we need to go to The New Europe to find a guy.

I can hear a bunch of you saying, "Go ahead, go to Hungary to find men!" But it may not be that simple. What if word got out that Hungarian men were honest? THEY might decide to start coming over here and then what will you do? Can you see it? You are sitting there trying to be all suave and debonair and all of a sudden, in walks Laszlo with all his honesty. All the women would flock around him because they know that he is an honest guy. He seems to have the language thing down (a little too well, I admit) but if those Hungarians get the idea that American women are jonesing for honest men, hell, they might just see a target rich environment and aspire to come here and take away all the decent women.

I'd do Laszlo myself (that is, of course, if he isn't too short) if he came over just for the honesty thing alone. I LOVE Budapest.

You know, you would think that you guys would at least try the honesty thing, even if it were just a ploy. (Yes, Marc, I know there ARE some honest men and some dishonest women, just play with me here.)

(And competition...alas, I miss thee. Did you know that most competitive female swimmers of about 14 years of age can beat the times that Johnny Weissmuller won medals with? That is what competition did for us. Now we don't ever want the kids to compete, there can't be any perceived "losers".)

Anyway, I just wanted to see if you guys would accept this challenge. But fear not, I love you all and wouldn't change a hair on your heads (or in your ears, wherever you grow it) and I am still waiting to find one of my own. I am NOT taking a break from that....I never have and I never shall.

I must thank Laszlo again, he really gave me an insightful answer and that is exactly what I was looking for. Now, any questions?

Meg

Oh well, what shall I say? Blame the gene, there has to be some jerkgene pool somewhere over here.You know, we guys all have a strange desire to call without any good reason AND we expect you to be happy whenever we do! Don't look for reasons, it's at the corner of our Y-chromosome.Ok, seriously? When I call a woman back and I really want to talk to her then I'm into it. I mean the talking and yes, other things as well...Calling back (emphasis is on "back" now) a woman without a real topic or whatever? Come on, see the signs! :) You had a nice time together, he shaved his beard but he is kinda speechless when you meet accidentially? He has no idea what to do with your relationship;I have been in situations like that and I must admit I don't remember having big thoughts back then. AND that's the sign. Seeing a thoughtless guy? ;)Dream: Once, I repeat, once I could manage one dream. I ended up cruising in a construction site, was like playing a beta version of a shooter game, without any goals to accomplish. Felt like a stupid.To that yak-anonymous: She started it few months ago, if she still has it let's say in 2015 then she may change the blog title to Rivorcing Dick but now it is refreshing and I like it.By the way, isn't yak an animal or something?


Now I'm not sure if I am dreaming. I THINK I just woke up and sat at the computer with a cup of coffee. Then, I received an honest, informative answer from a man. Ahhhh, talk about refreshing. I get it dude! Thank you soooo much! And what have we learned here ladies?

I learned that I was right not to sleep with this guy even after all the lovely (perfect) things he said. Damn...that was close. And you know, it has been since September 9th, 2005 for me. I almost did it. It was REALLY close.

So, if there is anyone left out there who thinks that the guy you just met is worth going to bed with, let me tell you that I am no fool and this one had me feeling guilty about not sleeping with him. Not because of anything he said to push it, just that I was thinking that this was the right one to give it up to.

Whew.

And maybe he was serious that night. Maybe he was a lot of things but he didn't call all week and if he didn't think enough about me to call, (like the honest, informative guy said) he didn't think enough at all. Cool.

Next!

Meg

Oh, and thanks for coming to my defense. Yeah, when the divorce is over, I will give it an appropriate amount of time and then I WILL change the name to something like "Rick? Been there, done that".

Ya’ll listen to this shit...

Earlier today I laid down on my couch to take a nap when all of a sudden a huge crashing sound came from the bedroom side of the house. The telephone was on the coffee table so I picked it up and dialed 911 as I was running toward the noise. The 911 lady knew the address so I sort of just threw the phone because I could hear somebody screaming. The sounds were all coming from my son’s room so I ran in and found a fire engine red Mercedes in the bedroom. The ENTIRE car was right there in the bedroom!

The first thing I did was to help the lady out of the car as the passenger door was closest. She was beautiful and dressed to the nines. I’ve never seen so many diamonds on one woman outside of the royal family. She was banged up and bleeding from a gash over her left eye but she seemed to be OK otherwise and was trying, as though she were panicked, to get out.

As I helped her out of the car, she stumbled a few times but then she got her footing and ran out of the room, obviously looking for the nearest exit. She was screaming and I was worried about the driver so I let her go. I wasn’t really in the mood to chase her anyway.

The driver was huge, like Arnold what’s-his-face in California. He was dressed like something out of a James Bond movie, he was wearing a CHARTREUSE turtle-neck. As I tried to help the driver out of the car, I noticed he was looking around for something. I smelled something funny (looking back, it was probably oil or exhaust but I didn’t really have the time to analyze the smell, it all happened so quickly) and I was afraid the car would blow up so I was saying...”Let’s just get out of here!”

He said, “Not until I find my gun!!!!”

So, I kinda thought, “Screw him.“ and as I turned to run, I specifically remember hoping that the woman had cleared a path for me when all of a sudden the guy grabbed me from behind and threw me against the wall. He pointed the gun at me and said I was his hostage. I was listening to him and everything got really quiet. Then, at the exact same moment, we both heard the 911 lady. The phone was on the floor in the hallway (and we were both in the hallway at this point, as well) and we could both hear the lady saying that the police were on their way. He looked at me, apparently changed his mind and ran down the hallway and out the door.

I heard the police cars screeching to a halt before the guy really had time to get to the end of my property. I ran to the front door to see if the guy got away when all of a sudden, the phone rang and woke me up.

I hate that, don’t you? I can never go back and finish the dream. I always just wonder. Sometimes I make up my own ending, the hell with the dream people.

Meg

so what's the supposed to do? you yak and rag on guys who call you all the time. now you're ragging on this guy because he didn't call enough. maybe he lied because he just didn't know how to read you and didn't know what else to say. is it possible that at this point in your life NO man will ever be able to suit you? maybe you should take a little break or just score with some nearly anonymous guy just clear the cobwebs out of your head.sign me bewildered

Listen, I NEVER ragged on guys who called too much...I just said that one of red flags in the beginning of a relationship was a person who called EVERY SINGLE day and usually more than once a day. That, taken together with a bunch of other signs is usually a clue that something is wrong with a person, guy or girl.

And I never said he didn’t call ENOUGH, he didn’t call at all! And even THAT I don’t have a problem with. I was wondering WHY he was continuing to show interest. He didn’t have to, he could have walked away but instead he went out of his way to stay near me and continue the conversation. And besides ALL of that, he NEVER read the blog so he wouldn’t have had a chance to read anything about what I said earlier regarding the “guy who calls too much”. So, if he is confused, it has nothing to do with me.

And “take a break”? Take a break from what? Sitting in my house every night worrying about how I am going to pay the bills? Yeah, I should take a break from that. And what the heck does “score with a nearly anonymous guy” mean? Should I look for a masked man?

This is why I have trashed some of the comments. They are written by some anonymous freaks who have no clue of what they speak. But today I am in just enough pain to be a little cranky so I felt the intense need to respond to this anonymous person.

My motives are plain to see, I have clearly defined them in this blog. I do not put forth effort in some lame attempt to hurt another persons’ feelings. (That is the OTHER reason I trash comments, some people are rude to the other comment-ers. I wouldn’t allow a guest in my house to insult another guest and I won’t allow it here either.) So, my little angry freak, what are YOUR motives? I think it is pretty obvious, I just thought that perhaps you could use the time to reflect on the answer yourself.

I have friends I don’t discuss because they know how to get here and once you know the address of this blog, you are probably not going to read about yourself on it.

Have a lovely evening,

Meg

I am having a loverly day. I was browsing online for ways to make extra money, I went to Craigs List to see what they had. This is pretty much it:


A note on compensation: at the moment we are not offering any.


...stable of science writers who make contributions on a monthly basis, please contact us with a note and an attached short writing sample (~1000 words). This will begin as an unpaid position...


looking for a partner to write and share ideas with.


No pay... but venting is healthy no matter which party you favor.


**Note: This is a call for unpaid, freelance submissions.**


There were some that spoke of compensation:


Give us your wit and we'll give you our money! Five bucks for every one of your ideas that sells.


Isn’t that charming? They will pay me an entire fin for my wit. Hell, I would rather just be sarcastic towards them for free. Some ads actually had the nerve to ask for MY money. The following ad was listed amongst “Writer Gigs” on Craigslist:


Beat the system and place a $20 bet now. If anything, it will make the show more fun to watch ;)


The logic there was, if you are a writer, you must know about such things so you can “Make cash quickly!” by wagering on the Academy Awards. (I never watch that show. I rarely go to movies because I am night blind. Once I have to go to the bathroom, the movie is pretty much over as I cannot find my seat again.)


I also advertised for a room-mate. What a delight that has been. I mentioned Payton, my boxer, to one guy. I told him that I got the dog because I was kinda scared of being alone. He said, and I QUOTE, “The dog is nice. But...there is nothing like the sound of a Colt 45 revolver cocking with a round in the chamber to get rid of unwanted company.”


“Next!”


I told him about the dog, he couldn’t have mentioned the guns? I guess he did, but he should have “felt me out” about that one before just tossing it into the conversation. He asked me a thousand questions and raised every red flag there was to raise, to say the very least. But he never asked me this question, “How much?”

I emailed to him that I was “unnerved” by the fact that he didn’t ask how much. He replied thusly:


OK, how much? I thought it would be a bargain because we were to share duties. Was I mistaken?



Share duties? What the hell does that mean? He offered to cook for me in one email. I guess he thought I was advertising a chef or some form of live-in help. But, no, I wouldn’t give up my privacy for some whacked out cook with a pistol. I don’t want a new human. They require far too much time and effort. I just wanted help paying the bills. But the room-mates don’t want to pay and neither do the jobs. I give up.


Meg

Well. What was the point I was going to make? Damn it. I forgot. Something about guys being nice. Yeah, it is feasible. I’m pretty much going on faith there. Nice, yeah, honest, hhmmm. Not for any length of time. Most of us, women or men, are going to gild the lily now and again.

Yeah, I think it’s fair to say we are all liars. We just vary in degree. I think most men would be as amazed as I am at the best of them. Damn, they are good. You WOULD NOT BELIEVE what lengths some men would go to. Maybe you would, I don’t know. People are either honest or dishonest deep inside. Rick was a liar to the core, he would lie before he gave it any thought. And once the lie was out there, he wasn’t taking it back. That’s his story and he’s sticking to it. No matter how many laws of physics the lie breaks. I would be the opposite way, I would tell the truth before giving it any thought. It isn’t always the smartest thing to do either.

Some men are such good liars that they should be given a medal or something. Maybe they need to register that ability with the FBI because that can be some potent bullshit. They don’t need a knife or a gun, their line is so smooth by itself. It must work for them at times or they wouldn’t do it at all. I figure for every lie I caught Rick in, he must have gotten away with ten. He wouldn’t do it at all if this was the truth, “I swear to God, every lie I have ever told, you have found out about. There are NONE that I ever told you that you don’t know about.” What a jack ass.

Anyway, the lines...oh yeah. I think the funniest pick up line I ever heard was when this guy came up to me, licked his finger tip and then touched my shoulder and then his own shoulder, looked me dead in the eyes and said, “Come on, let’s go get out of these wet clothes.” I liked it. but as most women I tell are grossed out by it, it must have taken some balls to try. I didn’t appreciate how many balls it took until just now. (How many balls it took?)

Anyway, I have seen some damn good women liars, although, since we don’t depend on each other for sex, we have much less reason to lie to one another. If you depend on a person for sex, it is amazing what kind of crap you will buy. Every friend in the world could point it out and you wouldn’t believe them. I have sat back and watched girlfriends lie with less than stellar performances and then see the men fall for it. If I hadn’t met Rick, I might not have believed it possible. But a smart person can be fooled as easily as an idiot can be. Rick isn’t the only liar I ever met, not by a long shot. He just got close enough to do damage.

Did you ever meet one of those liars that are actually laughable? Should you attempt to point out their less than sincere efforts, they are terribly offended that you don’t believe them. They will somehow find a way to blame it on you. That, by the way, is a cardinal sign of a dishonest person. If you find yourself starting to feel guilty when you are the one who first claimed offense, you just might be being manipulated by a master manipulator.

I suppose I should go see what I was going to write about. Have a good evening.


Meg

Is it possible that I am giving men too much credit? Should I give up and assume they are all nimrods? I am going to address this topic next....see ya soon.

Meg

Good morning...



This morning I am just kind of watching the kids...that is my granddaughter and her brother. I have adopted the little guy as my own. His father took off before he was born. I often wonder what men think about when they do that. Do they think about the kid at all? Is there anyone out there who walked away from a child and has never gone back? Can you, under the cloak of anonymity, explain the thought process behind doing something like that? I have always wondered. My son would cry out loud in his room when he couldn't see his daughter. He spent a lot of money on attorneys and did whatever it took to see his child. I am so proud of him for that.

If you did walk away from a child, can you tell me, did your father walk away as well? I wonder if a man is more likely to do this if he never really had a father himself. As the daughter of a very good father, I couldn't imagine growing up without a father or keeping my children from theirs. I think a kid needs all the people who love him/her in their life that they can possibly have. I get very angry at friends of mine who, for no good reason, kick the father out of the kids' life for no reason other than spite. Melissa, a very good friend of mine, was extremely cruel to her kids and their father. I couldn't believe she did it. SHE was the one who cheated yet she took him to the cleaners. I would like to hear from fathers who did walk away and from fathers who were pushed away. No judging, just curiosity. And the hope that someone might learn from your story.

Meg

It would appear as though Terri Schiavo is about to be free of the aggressive life support system that we in the medical profession call nourishment. You may know it as breakfast, lunch and dinner. According to her husband, Terri stated she never wanted to be kept alive artificially. One must wonder if she ever meant that she wanted to be starved to death.

As a nurse, I have personally requested that doctors discontinue certain medications (with the families’ approval) once a person has been in a vegetative state for a long period of time and quality of life is non-existent. We have stopped heart medication, blood pressure medication and even pain medication but I have never requested that a diabetic patient have his or her diabetes medication stopped. That was too close to starving someone to death.

There are certain things that are considered minimal care and are given to every human being, regardless of what percentage of their brain is pudding. We clean them, move them to prevent pressure sores, clothe them and yes, we feed them.

Which one of those life support measures would you want us to leave out should your child enter a persistent vegetative state? Should you even have a say in that matter? Or should the decision be left up to someone who has a financial interest in the outcome? If the judge had a financial interest in this matter, he or she would step aside as it would be considered a conflict of interest. But a husband with another family that would receive a windfall is allowed to make this decision. It is stunning.

There are people all over the world that are in persistent vegetative states and we aren’t starving them, why are we going to starve Terri? They have families that visit them, love them and would mourn their passing. I couldn’t even imagine broaching that option with those families for fear of being called a heartless, uncaring nurse.

When people don’t want to be kept alive artificially, they sign a paper. If they enter a state such as Terri’s, the family still has the final say. You could sign a paper everyday stating you don’t want to be kept alive artificially but should your family request that life support be maintained, maintained it is. That is because the family has the potential to hire an attorney and sue. So, we listen to the family.

Usually, the family is more concerned with the patient and their wishes. They would never go out of their way to fight for years to starve their loved one. To remove a respirator, yes. To stop dialysis, yes. But to starve them, never. That is, unless the family has a new family and wants the money that the death would guarantee. There is no other reason that a person would fight so hard to “allow death” to occur. With a family willing to take over the responsibility, why is Mr. Schiavo doing this? He says it is because he is honoring her wishes. Does anyone seriously believe that Terri would have wished this hell on her parents?

Did Terri feel so strongly about this issue that she would have chosen to put her family through this pain? If so, why didn’t she make it legal and sign papers to make her wishes known? If she had, she would have found that you can check certain life support measures that you want and others that you don’t want. That is because different people have differing opinions regarding what is considered extreme life support. Some people consider nourishment to be a basic necessity of life, not an extreme life support measure. So, once you make the decision not to be kept alive artificially, there are STILL decisions to be made, such as what exactly you consider life support.

This is a topic that should be brought up with your loved ones. Every person should make their wishes known. They should discuss it with someone that they trust enough to make that decision for them should the time come. Usually, that person is your spouse. But if your spouse has a new spouse and could use the money your death would make certain, would you still want them making your decisions for you? Or would you prefer to leave that type of decision up to family that most assuredly has no other motive than their love for you? One would think that once a husband has moved on and begun another family, he is no longer a viable candidate for this position. I sure the hell wouldn't want Rick involved to ANY extent. I have a feeling that Terri would not wish to have her husband and his new family profit from her death. But that's just me.


Meg

By the way.....

You know how we have stupid little quirks that keep us from stepping on cracks and stuff like that? Why is that? What possible survival instinct would account for this?

"These are the things that bother me, not a lot of things across some sea."



Meg

Two of the most difficult things about going through this divorce have been the loneliness and the wondering of why. I got over wondering why a long time ago. I am still curious, I just don’t obsess about it anymore. The loneliness has been a little bit more difficult. For months, I just didn’t let myself be alone and awake too much. I was pretty much dependent upon other people to distract me from my self pity party.

I’ve always told people that they should learn to enjoy living alone before they get married. That way, you know you aren’t getting married just to avoid being alone. If you enjoy being alone, chances are you might avoid an irrational decision because you wouldn’t want to give it up for just anything or anybody. I’ve also always told people that they should be their own best friend and counsel themselves accordingly. I keep trying to do that myself but I have to admit, it is difficult to listen to me sometimes. In the past, I have never been able to fathom being alone much less enjoy it. So...I just didn’t do it.

I did do a lot of sleeping. It was either that or drink and I don’t really drink so I just slept. (And, I started this thing. This has really been great because I have “met” some very kind and good people through it. It reinforced what I already knew, that there are plenty of decent people out there. And they are funny, charming, eloquent and wise. I have pretty much allowed myself to be in the presence of a person who was an idiot. I didn’t branch out too much from that. So, it is nice to see so many bright people. They really are BRIGHTER. In every sense of that word.)

Anyway, I have been forced to be alone for so long now that I am sick of sleeping and I want to be awake and doing something. So, last night I was doing something and realized that I hadn’t minded being alone. I didn’t need to be around anyone else and I was wide awake. Of course, I screwed it up by overanalyzing the entire little epiphany, but nevertheless, I didn’t mind being alone. So, distracting myself was a very good thing.

Meg

Good morning!

The coffee is starting to kick in and I think even my fingers are waking up so I thought I would just pop in and say hello. I have nothing specific on my mind this morning, is this what it is like to be Rick?

"Whatcha thinkin'?"

"Nothing."

I used to wonder but now I believe he was telling me the truth. Hard to tell with that one. I actually DID think of nothing once. I was lying on my bed and I did it, for just a split second...it was almost like an out of body experience. It scared the hell out of me. I thought my brain would stop and never start again. Rick was the only one there so there really was no one to "jump start" my brain. I will never try that again. Well, I'll be back when I have something worth saying. Knowing me and the way I value my own opinion, it shouldn't be very long at all.

Meg

Building a new man from scratch might be illegal. Maybe you could find one you like and clone him? From what I read lately, it's all the rage with sheep and cats. LOL

Cloning? If I have learned anything from being around Rick it is that cloning is immoral. And besides, I haven’t finished browsing amongst the herd I already belong to. It’s really a pity because I wouldn’t mind prison for a while. I just haven’t thought of a classy enough caper yet.

I'm always aspiring to be a better man. Only, lately, I'm realizing that I was never as bad as I always imagined. :-)

None of us are. We all do the best we can with the tools we have on any given day of our lives.

Can anyone adequately describe what this feels like:

I distracted myself tonight.

Meg

I noticed that many guys I got serious with would kind of cut off when something was wrong. It was like they had too much pride to say they were sorry or to even act sorry. What is up with that?


I think it may be that I’m sorry also means I’m wrong and a lot of people have a problem with that one. It probably has nothing to do with you personally. Admitting you are wrong is kind of hard to admit to yourself, much less to another person. And you know what? I don’t think it is specifically men that have a problem with that, it’s just that you are a woman and your experience is with the men. I can have a hard time when I’m wrong and it is basically because I hate to admit that I allowed myself to get into a position where I must apologize. What’s more important is the way someone behaves. Rick could say all the right things but he lied about everything. So, if he apologized for something, it was only because he had to in order to get something he wanted.

If a man wronged me, I would prefer he simply not repeat the behavior. The apology might be nice but it means absolutely nothing if the behavior doesn’t stop. I guess it is all in how you were raised. Some parents go out of their way to instill specific values in a child. My father would lecture me until I thought, “Just whip my ass and let me go.” But, I remember the things he taught me. One of his biggest issues is personal responsibility. I remember him saying that admitting when you are wrong is a sign of maturity. So, I can easily do it, I just don’t like it because it means that I screwed up. Contrary to popular opinion, men DO have feelings and one of them is pride. I am a woman and I have a hard time with it so I cannot even imagine how difficult it must be for a good man to admit he screwed up. A bum will easily apologize and then do the same damn thing the next day. So, I think it is actually a good sign in a way. It means that they DO feel badly about something they did.
OK men...did I get that one right?

Meg: I also am in disbelief in some of your Rick stories. And in a secret guilty way, they make me feel better about myself.

You know, I knew that some men would feel this way. I also think that when you feel better about yourself like that, the next logical step is to try and aspire to be a better man. So, my secret is out. I am trying to build a new man from scratch.

Meg

Meg, I thought I should clarify on the sports comment.. to be clear on this what I really mean here are men that sit in front of the tube with sports. I call these guys football duds. Now it's just too damn bad that this might offend the widdle feewings of a few men reading here. The bottom line is, in my personal anecdotal experience I have NEVER had a good man who was a sports dud, they've all been the same. I see televised sports as the #1 indicatorof problems with a man, period. When I decided that I did not want any man like that, and that I wanted a man who hated sports as much as I do, it was like the assholes disappeared overnight. I'll tell you what else goes hand in hand with this crap, and that's the porn. You can bet if a man is calling phone sex or looking at porn he's also a sports dud on the couch in front of the TV with bad personal hygiene and a cheating heart. And I say this as a former phone sex operator people!!! When I worked in the phone sex business we could predict our traffic and plan our business based on whether or not "the big game" was on TV that weekend or night. EVERYTHING in the business in regards to traffic planning was made like this:1. Game on TV (gonna be slow)2. The Stuporbowl (we take the day off, no business at all)3. Family Holidays, (men are with their wives and families, slow traffic)4. Business always picks up during tax refund season 5. Business picks up after football and basketball have gone away.Ok, and here's something else, the men who call phone sex are just like Rick. JUST LIKE HIM. Take it from someone who knows. When I worked in the biz I talked to so many heartbroken wives on the phone who had their credit cards used by these guys it was insane. THEY ARE ALL MARRIED LOSERS!!!

Dear Fannie,

I believe you and I am sure that you are speaking from your own personal experience. That is ALWAYS valid. My experience was different but hey, we all make our own rules and go with what works for us. Don't ever feel as though you need to prove anything to anyone...it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, your experience is your experience. I speak from my own experience and I don't feel as though I need to prove anything, I put it out there and I take my lumps if I must.

That being said, I think that perhaps men in general just like sports. Home Depot is empty during the Super Bowl as well. Rick never cared much about any sports unless the Vikings made it to the play-offs. I had another husband (I can’t believe I have let him off so easily, I imagine I will get to him someday) and he only watched games that he had money on. Do you want to hear something funny? I LOVE sports! I am the biggest Cubs fan you will ever meet, my first crush was on Bobby Hull (until I saw a picture of his bald, toothless self) and I dated a quarterback for the Bears. I am totally into baseball, football and hockey. When I was a little girl, I would RUN home from school to catch the end of the Cubs games and I remember wearing a hidden radio with an ear plug to school during the 69 baseball season. I was 11. I used to take my allowance and catch a bus to Wrigley Field to watch the Cubs play and my parents never knew. I would even go sneak into the ballpark on off days to watch the players practice. I would sit on the first base dug out and chat with the players, Cubs, Phillies, Mets, Cardinals...all of them. So, I see the appeal of sports and to me, a guy who was into sports would be a plus because it would be something we could enjoy together.

I am absolutely convinced that you are sincere and I am positive that you are not the only woman who feels like you do. That is why I put your last comment up here. There are some very decent guys who read this blog (if there are any ladies near Monument Colorado, do I have a guy for you!) and I think that they read it to learn about women. You are a woman and you have shared your experience with the men who are reading. They will most likely not appreciate your opinion, but I think that is because they are mostly good men. Whack jobs like Rick wouldn’t bother reading something like this because they are far too self involved to care a bit about a woman’s opinion.

Personally, I appreciate it. I said in the beginning that I wanted to learn from other people and I meant it. I have read and absorbed what you have written and I am glad that you took the time to write it. And, as annoyed as they might be by your opinion, I think that they are the type of men who are open to hearing what different women think.

So, are there any other women out there that have identified a trait that they find to be revealing about men? And men, what do you have to say about us? Inquiring minds want to know.

Meg

Good morning!

OK, now I have pontificated upon what NOT to do. I thought I might mention a few things that are very nice to do. Most of us are very easy to please, we are usually pretty happy just to be loved. I've heard it said that women give sex to get love and men give love to get sex. So, you have to figure out what love means to your woman. Some of us are cryptic, and some of us aren't but I think that most of us would tell you exactly what it means to us if you asked. So ask. Ask what you can do to make her feel as loved as she is. Tell her you don't want to ever look back and say, "If only I had done more for you." But, on your own you could:

Bring her coffee in the morning before she gets out of bed.

Offer a backrub after the day is over. (And EVERY SINGLE TIME she says, "My back is killing me.")

Surprise her with flowers, delivered to her, for absolutely no reason at all. (Can you imagine her co-workers telling her what a great guy she has?)

Call her unexpededly just to say "Hi, I was thinking about you and had to call."

Demand that she take a day off and take care of her "chores" for that day leaving her to be free to do whatever she wants to do.

Call her, tell her to dress up and go to a local nightspot. Then go there yourself and pick her up like you've never met her before.

When shopping, be alert to little things that she would enjoy and take them to her. (Pay for them first.)

On a fine spring day, make her a little flower patch in your yard.

Pitch in while she's cooking dinner.

Ask her if she knows how much you love her.

There are a million and four things you can do that are not at all costly, no matter what currency is involved. And they are ALL good investments. A woman who knows she is loved is just plain better in bed. She has less to worry about in the self esteem department and can then take more time to feel and enjoy you. When we don't feel loved, we get pretty worried about it and we can spend a great deal of time wondering what we could do to make you love us.

Rick once told me that he missed the self confidant woman that I used to be. He forgot something. I was self confidant because I felt loved. When he stopped doing nice little things for me, I was no longer so confidant and I was worried all the time. He didn't like me and I didn't like me much either.

I'm not saying that she should be dependent upon you for her happiness, just that if you want a more carefree, responsive wife, make sure she hasn't anything to care about except making you a happy husband. It pays off in dividends you never thought about. I promise.

Meg

Hi ya'll!

I just had a very long conversation with a friend of mine who is going through a divorce. It's one of those divorces where the wife is accusing him of everything under the sun and I didn't understand it because he is such a nice guy and doesn't deserve this. Well, tonight he mentioned something that finally gave me a reason why this woman is acting like she is. Although I feel uncomfortable second guessing a woman that is so unbalanced, I thought of you when he told me what he told me.

He mentioned that he enjoyed pornography once the marriage had disintegrated to the point where they were sleeping in separate bedrooms. When I gave him a woman's perspective, he was truly surprised. It occurred to me that other men might be as clueless as my friend was and might be interested in one woman's perspective.
I understand that some men enjoy pornography and find it to be innocent fun. I get that, I really do. But unless it is part of a "team" effort, it is akin to cheating. Not all women feel this way, but plenty do. I know there are even women who enjoy it as well but trust me...some find it to be extremely offensive.

"Tom" said that he considered his wife to be the love of his life and that sex with her was wonderful as well. He told me how important she and thier intimacy was and in the next sentence said that when he stopped getting it from her he turned to porn. So...basically, he was saying that the wonderful feelings he had when he was with her were evenly swapped out for pornography.

Nobody gave me the job of being a judge of other humans and I am trying very hard NOT to sound like one. But...can you see how a woman can feel as though she is easily replaced with scum? We all know how degrading to women in general that porn is in the first place. But to say that you need it if you can't get it from your wife is saying to the wife that the relationship is something less than she might have thought it was. So it degrades not only women but the relationship as well.

I know that you can be a very loyal husband and enjoy pornography. I also know that some women don't mind one little bit. But I am referring to the ones that DO mind. To most of them, it isn't a matter of jealousy. It is simply a matter of respect and consideration. As innocently as men may pursue this little hobby, they are pretty much saying to thier women that sex is no more than a bodily function. Sometimes it may be but if you are in a relationship that involves fidelity, sex should be a bit more than that.

FYI...some women feel as though a guy who needs to dabble in the manly art of smut is obviously not at all happy with the woman he is with. I wonder what my friend would have thought if his wife was the one enjoying the porno crap. I should have asked him and I will the next time I speak with him. How would your ego take it if your woman used other men to "relieve herself"? We women can be pretty sensitive and we don't take kindly to being a toilet for somebody's sperm. If sex is no more than a fart to you, then stop reading now. But if it is a part of a beautiful relationship that you cherish, consider how your partner would feel if she found out that you enjoy looking at another woman rather than at her.

YOU might not see it that way, but trust me, WE do. So, if you have someone that you want to keep around, let her be the only one that does it for you. And...remember what I said in an earlier post, if you want to go and get all crazy, look at your wife. She just may have more in her than you realize and she may be waiting for you to bring it out of her. And if, occasionally, you can't help yourself, keep it in the bathroom with the door locked.

Meg

You know...


I had not even realized how much I had missed cuddling. Man, it felt good. Do yourself a favor and cuddle with someone tonight. And, never, ever take it for granted. It is a lovely thing to do. Also, making out is pretty damn fun as well. There is something nice and sweet about making out when you know there is NOT going to be sex involved. I had forgotten THAT as well. It was great. (Except for the rash on my chin from the little beard thing.) Take your significant other onto the couch tonight and make out. TRY it without having to consumate the evening. Then, let me know how it went. I can't be the only one sharing here!


Meg

what does the opposite mean, meg? I've had the tendency to find the "distant" men. Go out a couple times, enough to show interest... then they get "busy". (I am by far not overzealous myself... I'm not talking about having to go out every day or even talk every day to each other. I understand the possessiveness you are referring to.) But when I finally make a comment relating to the fact that they don't seem interested and perhaps we should go our seperate ways, suddenly they show attention for a little while... until they get comfortable again.

Sounds to me like you are just busy kissing the frogs. They are certainly out there. You don’t say how old you are and that makes a big difference. If you are in your 20’s, this is just dating. If it has been going on for decades, I would ask questions. Literally, I would call a few of them up and say, “Listen, I am trying to figure out why I haven’t been terribly lucky in love and I was wondering if you could tell me what lost you?” I know that sounds nuts to most people but to me it makes perfect sense. You have nothing to lose and you might get lucky and find an honest man (LOLOLOLOL) that would answer your question.

Oh, there is one thing I picked up on that I would suggest, just my opinion, but I wouldn’t tell THEM that they are not seemingly interested. I would just make it apparent that I wasn’t terribly interested. I don’t know why, but that works well. You know, the whole “chase them until they catch you” crap. One other thing, I never say the words, "go our separate ways" until I mean it. Those words should be the end of a relationship, not the beginning of an argument.

I am going to assume you are young if you are still trying to play the dating game by being so blatantly honest and open with these guys. These are men, they cannot handle it. Just do what they want you to do, play it a little closer to the cuff. Sorry guys, I live and learn, I don’t make this shit up.

saturday seems to be suspiciously missing. anything happen that you'd like to share with us?i smell news here and would love to hear it.


Hhhmm. Very good. I am wrestling with this one. Well, if you are paying that much attention, then you might remember that I was dancing around my house Friday night. After a while of that, I felt froggy so I jumped. This really cute guy who is my age but doesn’t look a day over 33 anywhere I could see seemed to take a little liking to me. Yada, yada, yada...I made a lovely filet dinner Saturday night. :)

Meg

And yes, I got you his picture. LOLOLOL.

Hello, I've been reading this for a little while now. I just wanted to say that it has helped give me the strength to leave my ex-as-of-last-night fiance. He is very verbally abuse towards me, calling me fat and whatnot, even when I was pregnant. Oh, and he decided to tell me, a year and a half later after the incident(s?), while I was pregnant, that he cheated on me. I lost the baby and all, but I know that's for the best.Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for helping to save me from what could have been a very miserable marriage!

Well, if the only I ever accomplish with this thing is to save one person from a life of hell, I am happy.

Now, I don’t know whether or not abusive women follow the same pattern as abusive men but the pattern that the men follow is very predictable and can be hard to resist. That is, if you have low self esteem. And somehow, they seem to know who the women with low self esteem are. If by some chance you DO have a shred of self esteem left, they will call you names and try to be sure that you will never feel as though you could do any better. A man who loves a woman tells her how wonderful she is, not how fat she is. PERIOD.

The initial behavior is very hard to resist. They tell you they love you before they could possibly even know you. They never end the first date, coming over every single day and calling when they don’t come over. A woman with low self esteem could have a hard time resisting that. That’s how it starts.

Next, they have somehow gotten you to stop seeing your friends. Usually, they tell you that your friends are “sluts” or some such crap and they would be happy if you would just stay home with them. A healthy relationship is like two circles that overlap. But, part of each circle should have its’ own space. So many women will stop seeing their friends when they meet a new man. It may seem so sweet in the early phase of a relationship but it is stupid. And that is because, sooner or later, you WILL want to go out with your friends. And then, you are in trouble. An abusive man will see this as a step backwards in a relationship and he will assume that you have a new man. Why else would you suddenly want to go out without him? You have let his circle overlap yours and you have left yourself no space at all.

I had a man get jealous of a book I couldn’t put down. An abusive man wants you to be totally under their control, and waiting at their beck and call. They can even seem so loving but if they wore a big “I ABUSE WOMEN” sign, they would never get a date. So, they know how to charm you, and quickly. And then you have forgotten about the guy you met two weeks ago and take off with the new one because the other one didn’t call you enough. Well, THAT was the normal man. He has a life and is taking care to keep it healthy and happy. Healthy relationships don’t usually start off like a ball of fire, they take time to nurture and grow. But they are infinitely more worth it. There is nothing like having a friendship that slowly develops over time into something really wonderful. Never feel like you have to jump on the one that seems to easy to grab hold of. There IS a reason he is so available!
What courage this lady has. I only hope that very soon, she will feel what I am feeling, the excitement of wondering what life has in store next. Personally, I can’t wait to find out!


Meg

HI!!!!!!


I am blasting music throughout the house and dancing like a fool. Thought I would catch my breathe and say hello. Today was boring. Oh, to the person who left that nice comment, I am not sure if this is considered a nasty divorce or not. I've been very sweet myself. :)

Oh, good song...gonna dance some more.

See ya soon,

Meg

By the way....


I forgot, I am going to audition for a role in a movie called Horror Hill tomorrow, LOL. I will probably be killed in the first scene. But..I WILL NOT wear a mask!

Meg

Solomon, my new friend and his new friend!

Posted by Hello

HI


I did the shoot yesterday. It is a movie called The Gospel with Boris Kudjoe and some other folk you all know. I found out that the movie I did last year, Warm Springs, will be out in April on HBO. I spent yesterday freezing my ass of at an abandoned mental hospital that they used as a location to shoot this movie. They also shot Dumber and Dumberer at this location. I was used as a technical advisor as well as an actor. As the technical advisor, I told them the nurse should wear a mask in one scene I set up. So, like and idiot, I masked myself in this movie. Once again, I am in the movie, but I covered up my own damn face. Oh well. I did make a new friend, he is in the picture with one of the actors from The Gospel. His name is Solomon and he is a great young guy who I am glad to call a friend. I didn't know him 24 hours ago. Life is funny.

When I got home, I was flipping through the channels and came to the Comedy Channel. I almost went past it as Rick and I used to watch stand up all the time. I realized that I was avoiding all the things I used to enjoy because everything reminded me of Rick. Well, screw that, I am going to make new memories and continue on with my life. Unfortunately, the next thing I have planned for my life is a dentist appointment and I have to go and get ready to go there. I will be back to make you smile this afternoon.

Have a great day!

Meg

This is one of the guys I worked with yesterday, He was in Ray. Back soon!

Posted by Hello

Well, that was a big fat waste of my time.

I was so damn bored that I wanted to just spit. (I don't know what that means, but it sounded good.) I went to two places and they were both dead. The bartender guy at one place was nice, but he works on tips so I don't know how to take him. Then, a huge pimped out guy was being very attentive, but I don't like the hours. It was stupid to go out on a Wednesday night and think there would be more than five people out at a sportsbar, esepcially when there really aren't any good sports going on right now.

And you know what? I had my father's car and I felt guilty just driving it TO a bar, much less driving home in it after drinking two beers. What is it about parents? I will be 50 years old in 4 years and I was worried that he would somehow find out. One night when he was staying here, I went to a friends house. This friend has a chronic illness and is bedbound. I sat with her one evening watching movies and came home at about 1 am. My father had locked me out of my own house! I had the keys but he put on the dead bolt on one door and the hook latch on the other. I got in, but I had to tippy-toe into my room just in case dad wanted to "talk". MY HOUSE, MY AGE, and he still wants me in at a decent hour. Jeez.

Well, I am up early because I have to go do that shoot today. the lady called yesterday to ask if I had any nurses uniforms. Yeah, I do. So I am going to take a shower and BRUSH MY TEETH (all of them) and be on my way. When I get home, I will tell you all about what this shoot is, I still don't know. Hope your day is going well, see ya later.

Meg

OK, OK, OK...


I am so pysched. I just had a great idea and I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner. I am going to go out and interview men (maybe women but only if there is a shortage of men.) I will have to get a pad and pen so it doesn't look like I am just hitting on them (I can't make this thing straighten out and I am sick of trying so if it is crooked, I am sorry. Oh, now it isn't crooked, I give up),LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.and see what happens. (It just occurred to me that it IS possible that nothing will happen. Crap.) Oh well, a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.

I will tell you what happens when I get back.

Wish me luck.

Meg

A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a Genie. The amazed woman asked if she actually got three wishes. The Genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So... what'll it be?"
The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring peace and harmony.

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I'm good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable."

The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know -- one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time and is faithful. That's what I wish for... a good man."

The genie let out a big sigh and replied, "Let me see the friggin' map again..."

Thank you, Lori

Now I have a question.....

As I have said before, if you want advice about a man, ask another man. So...men, why is Rick STILL denying his affair? I know and he knows I know, why would he be denying it at this point? I must know.

Meg

Meg,

What have you learned from your divorce? How do you avoid ending up with a nut?

Actually, I can answer both of those questions with one answer. Now, it may be a very long answer, but it is STILL one big answer. What I learned is that I should have never deviated from my RULES. When I was in my 20's and had endured a few yuchy experiences, I developed a set of rules to date by. Like any true jack ass, I tossed almost ALL of them out the window when I married Rick. And I did it on purpose. I knew he didn't fit the rules. I also knew that by marrying him I would be leaving a lifestyle behind that I had enjoyed. I just thought that this marriage would be a better way to go, LOLOLOLOL.

Everyone has to figure out thier own rules but here are a few of mine that I blew off for the Rickster:

1. Never date anyone who makes less than you do. (This rule was to weed out the guys who thought that by nabbing a nurse, they would more than double thier income. I would then have to question thier motives.)

2. Never date anyone who had been in a serious relationship within the past year. (This one was to avoid being the rebound chick.)

3. Never date anyone who drives a battlestar-galacticar. (Some degree of financial security is good in a man.)

4. Never date anyone who sits there and talks crap about thier ex. (You will be the next one he rags on!)

5. Never date anyone who lives with his mother. (No explanation needed here.)

6. Never date anyone who "loves you" within a couple of weeks. (Red flag for stalker people.)

7. Never date anyone who calls you EVERY SINGLE DAY after the first date. (Too desperate or stalker.)

8. Never date anyone under 6'2". (This one was from my ex, he was short and violent. I thought I had discovered "short man's" syndrome only to learn about the Napolean Syndrome later.)

I had a bunch of others that I cannot remember at this moment but you get the idea. I learned that I should have trusted my first instinct and followed my rules.

I met Rick a few months after his divorce. He was living in a cock roach infested (studio) apartment. I had never seen a cock roach in my life. I felt so sorry for him that my nurturing side slapped my brain down and the rest is history. He was driving an old beat up car and he made 6 bucks an hour. OK, I broke EVERY SINGLE DAMN RULE THAT I HAD CAREFULLY THOUGHT OUT!

Well, he SAID he was 6'2", but he was only 6'1". I have since learned that men add an ego inch to thier height. (I also know that all short men don't hit and all tall men don't avoid hitting, but hey, I was only 23.)

To avoid the creepy people, develop a few rules and stick to them. Don't get anxious, the right one will come along. I have always told my kids that as long as they had a plan, I didn't care what they were doing (as long as it was a legal plan, of course.) I told them that you get the jobs you apply for. So, apply for the BEST JOBS out there! It may take longer, but you will get one of those jobs unless you keep putting in applications for jobs requiring a paper hat. You may have to wear the paper hat while you are looking, but DO look! The same thing goes for most everything else in life, jobs, mates, friends, houses, whatever, have a plan and go after the good ones. You won't get good people, jobs or whatever if you are stuck with a bad one.

Notice that no where in my rules did I list good looks. That has never been terribly important to me. The biggest reason is that a person can be a 10 until they open thier mouth and then they suddenly become a 3. And, that works the other way around as well. A goofy looking person can become quite attractive if you get to know them and find out how funny, kind, decent and charming they are under that face. Maybe that explains the attraction between Camilla and Charles.

Back to having a plan...set a goal for yourself. Whatever category that goal is, if something is important to you, set a goal and develop a plan. You can't just go through life floundering and taking the easiest route every time. You will end up in some God forsaken state that you have never been to before and your entire support system will be gone.
When I felt sorry for Rick, something in my female-nurturing system took over and I forgot about myself and my plan. Although I knew my lifestyle would change drastically, I never knew I was slumming until it was too late. You have to learn to control feelings like those. And, you have to remember what you are trying to accomplish. I don't mean to make love and life sound like a business, but you can't just let your feelings lead you through life. Feelings are natural, not good or bad, they just are. So, learn to put them in the proper perspective. You can be flexible with your rules, but don't ignore the majority of them. Had I obeyed even TWO of my rules, I wouldn't be going through divorce court now.

Meg


Back in a few with something else.

Mr.Smiley said...

I'm thirty, clean, don't cheat, don't beat, don't stray, don't play. So, I'm single. Women say they want nice guys, but that doesn't give me somebody to cuddle with on Friday night, now does it? Actually people either think I'm asexual or gay. I'm in Augusta, one of the only nice guys here.


You know dude, I don't think you are very smiley at all. At least not at the right time or not at the right places. People enjoy being around other people who are enjoying themselves. Go do something fun and do it often. Act like a kid again. Eat Fruit Loops once in a while and read the back of the box. Look for a four leaf clover and see what picture the clouds are painting. This is stuff you will NEVER regret doing.

When I was 15, I read, in one of those teen magazines that young girls read, that you should just go out and make a friend. I happened to want a friend and there happened to be a new girl in school. I just went up and asked her to come over to my house on Friday night. She did and eventually, I stood up for her at her wedding. I made a friend simply by solicitation. And all because of a silly teen magazine that I bought for the pictures of Donny Osmond, my first love. My crush on Donny Osmond lasted longer than my first marriage. Seeing him on Pyramid is a bit freaky, I must say.

Anyway, my point is that you should go up to a woman and ask her out. What have you got to lose? Be romantic, send flowers, silly cards and things like that. We love that crap. It is cheap to find out if she is interested. And it is also worth a few bucks to weed out some whackos. If you make a concerted effort, sooner or later, one will stick. I promise.

Right ladies?

Anyone out there from Augusta?

Meg

Well...I had an interesting day!

Rick wanted to get the divorce over TODAY! He may want to get married again before the baby is due. Anyway, he actually said that he left me because I WAS CHEATING!!!!! No evidence, just that little accusation. So, on February 25th, he must give me $850.00 to make up for the rent for the month he left without paying it. Then, I will receive $800.00 a month in alimony until the final hearing at which time alimony will be $700.00 a month for one year, $600 a month for one year, $500 a month for one year, $400 a month for two years. There are a few other silly little things that will be added and I will go into more detail when the final decree is issued. Not only did he accuse me of cheating, he said that to THIS VERY DAY he hasn't had a girlfriend, date, or even a phone call from another woman. I can prove that he is lying but it doesn't matter, I am happy with what I am getting. So, that is what happened in court today.

Now, I am looking forward to the new role I will be starting on Thursday. I will keep you updated about that. So, now that court is over for the time being, I can concentrate on my health more, I am not so stressed about rent, the $850 will cover March so I have some breathing room. Oh, we will have the final hearing within 30 days. And then...I will have the criminal proceedings to report on.

Thank you to all of my blog buddies, your support has given me smiles where none existed. I have something in mind to (hopefully) entertain you so stay tuned!!!!!!

Meg

The court date is over!!!!


I am going to call my family and tell them what happened and then I will be back to tell you!

Meg

Good Morning!

Unless they call and cancel again, I will be going to divorce court today. I don't know what it is for, the paralegal said any time you file for divorce, you automatically get a court date. So, this is that date. I don't know why they do that since Georgia law requires mediation before a judge hears the case. But, today I will ask for Rick to reimburse me for September's rent. He left in the middle of the month and didn't tell me he hadn't paid the rent. I will ask for the car as well, although, if you have been reading this blog, you know that car isn't insured. But...it moves!!!

Anyway, I have to meet my lawyer at his office at 1 pm EST and the court is 1:30 pm, so, be thinking good thoughts for me at about that time. I will be trying to receive them.

You watch and see, I bet Rick even brushes his teeth for this. I can't know if he wiped his ass but I'd give odds he won't. OH! If any of you are in Marietta and have nothing better to do, come to the Square and attend my divorce! I would love to see you! If you can't be there, I will understand and update you afterwards.

So many schools are teaching Sex Education and Family Life...I think they cannot possibly teach the kids anything more than they can learn at court. The boys should all go to support enforcement court and the girls should all go to domestic violence court. And, ALL of them should attend a day of divorce court.

I want to thank Stacey, because of her I have a pair of crush velvet low rise slacks and a cute little top that will be appropriate for court. Not only that, but they look good on me! Now, what to do with my hair? Rick always wanted my hair cut short, I guess he was jealous of me as my head had hair and his ears, nose, unibrow and back have it, but alas, not his head. I remember him doing that comb over camouflage thing. He insisted that it was just his natural part. I told him that no one had a part behind his ears and he should grow the hair from both sides and he would have twice as much camouflage.

I haven't cut my hair since he left as I never wanted short hair in the first place. People, make YOURSELVES happy, not some nimrod who puts such store in YOUR personal appearance.

Well, it is early in the morning and I have to do a few things before court. If I have time, I will be back before court...but if not....come back later and see what happened today in court!!!!!


Have a great day!

Meg

OK, I don't know why, but for some reason the last post I created...PRACTICING FOR COURT ended up two posts back. I don't know why and I can't fix it. So...scroll down for the latest post. This should work. Unless of course, this post is ten posts down.

Meg

My Horoscope for today and...

READERS SPEAK OUT!

Horoscope....

Your coworkers will be sensitive to your current conflict between rebellion and security. Don't get defensive. Instead be truthful. If you share your discontent, your brilliance will be received more openly

See, even my horoscope thinks this is a good idea!

I just read your "blog", it was linked from the Metafilter site. You are funny, in a good way.

Well, you have to give some credit to Rick, he is my inspiration for all things humorous, good way or bad way.

Gimme candy said cutie pie Stace,
All covered in leather and lace,
Yeah that would be nice,
I might do it thrice,
Don't get it all over your face.

OK, OK, I asked for this.

Jesus Christ!! Did I write THAT? Sigh...

Now you know how I feel some mornings when I read yesterday's post.


let me say that Rick is a fool and it's a damn shame he was so selfish and blind.

OK, go ahead and say it. I won’t stop you.

"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

Nothing to add, just a sincere thank you to the many people I have met through this blog.

I was just looking at your blog. Do you like bluegrass?

I just don’t like weeds, any grass will do. But blue grass would have let Rick know that the stuff in our yard is crab grass.

so where is your dick head ex hub to be now?
Mine ended up being ok....we live about 4 miles apart

YIKES! Only 4 miles away?They allow that? I didn't even know it was an option.

"Happiness is finding your glasses before you've forgotten why you want them."

Or, in my case, remembering the thought I had until I find a paper and pen to write it down with.

I know that shit is a pain in the ass.

Speaking of which, how do you get shit out of your hubby’s underpants?

I'm going to fix the ex. I will exact a fitting revenge, fear not. Ok, that's handled. Tell me about you and what you need.

Uh, I think I can handle it myself, thank you.

I was just reading your article and found it interesting that you were located in Marietta. That’s where my ol' boy lives. And I had to teach him a lesson or two in honesty as well.

So, tell me, how did YOU do it? I’d like to know. And...by the way, did you use dioxin?

I am discreet, little lady, and can do for you anything and everything, you need only ask it of me.

Well, well, well. That’s intriguing. Let me think a while and I will get back to you.

Dump the jerk and get to a church, almost any church.

Well, one day some Mormons came by. I was too busy to talk but I told them to come back later. They didn’t. I consider that to be the worst form of rejection.

After reading about your husband, I now feel better about mine. The worst he does is snore.

Like I said, as he is snoring, stick a little string up his nose and twist it. The look on his face will be priceless. And, for a moment, the snoring will stop.

I divorced my wife because she made everything hard except the one thing I wanted her to make hard.

We all have our cross to bear. Did you ever try Rick’s old trick of watching sex channels that you didn’t subscribe to? He got pretty hard watching those slanted, distorted movies.

Sometimes a woman needs to be slapped, my father taught me that!

Are you Rick’s son? You can write Daddy at the Cobb County Jail.

I found that a good way of dealing with the emotional strain is to joke about the situation.

OK, A toddler was riding his tricycle down the street. As he passed the penitentiary, a man came running out the gate shouting, “I’m free! I’m free!” The little boy said, “Oh yeah, well I’m four.”

Damn, I love a corny joke.

That one got me onto the speech team in high school. Frank Tarango, the greatest teacher/coach I ever had, had a healthy respect for anyone with the nerve to tell such a stupid joke at a large audition. I love him, where is he? Last I heard he was teaching at Elmhurst College.

PRACTICING FOR COURT:

Yes, your honor, Rick is a liar and a cheat. He is also an abusive bully. His penis is truly twisted and misshapen. It also has a problem, it doesn't work for any length of time. I tried to fix it but it only went faster. That would be good for a drive through window, but not for a penis. He sits on the couch picking his nose without a care in the world. Is that grounds for divorce? Or would you just classify it under emotional abuse?

Anyway, he isn't too bright but he is amazingly cunning. How do people who are so stupid lie so well? I'm sorry, your honor, I digress. He also has a butt wiping problem as evidenced by his underpants, I doubt the court can remedy that, his mother didn't try and I couldn't get him to do it. He blamed it on his hairy ass but I have a lot of hair on my head and there is no shit in it. He started brushing his teeth daily and he was busted! Only one of his tramps du jour would evoke dental hygiene from him. He left me carless, jobless, and in very poor health. BUT...at least he left.

OK, I think I am ready.

Hi there!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!

When I returned from taking my Dad to the airport (he is letting me keep his car while he is in Chicago!!!!!) I saw a number on my caller ID and thinking it was someone I had met through the blog, I called it back. It was the casting agency who I auditioned for to get the part in the Warm Springs movie that comes out sometime this year on HBO. I never expected to hear from them again but they called me and offered me a part in another production. She gave me the details but all I remember now is that I will be playing a nurse. She said, "We chose you because you look like a nurse." When I told her I was one, she freaked like I was freaking. It will only be a few days work but every little bit helps. I will give you the details when I am paying more attention. My first call is 2/17...I just realized that 2/17 is this week! What a nitwit I can be. Well, she said they will call me with the details the day before the call. I am sooo excited because this is the first part I have been offered as opposed to seeking out!!!!

On a lighter note, the lawyer's office called and said now we WILL be going to court tomorrow at 1 PM. I don't know why but I asked if opposing counsel had anything to do with it and they said no, that the opposing counsel was as surprised as my lawyer was. Soooo, as usual, I will let you know what happens. I am a little curious myself.

Well, a very kind reader/friend has sent me a gift today so I will be enjoying that and my granddaughter gave me a dozen roses, I counted them, THERE ARE 12!!!!!!!!!! I guess grandchildren are pretty loyal.

Well, now that my dad has left, I must do laundry (he hates the sound of the washer and dryer.) and try to come up with something decent to wear to court. Have a great day!

Meg

Just a thought...

Writing a blog is like writing anything, you just talk in your head and write it down. Don't worry about grammar or spelling, whatever. There are people who will do that for you. And, editors edit. So many people have written me to ask about creating a blog and it is truly easy. You just do a web search for free blogs. If I can do it, anybody can.

Before you think you have to go out looking for more "intense" sex, check out your spouse. Women in particular, guys, just need some prodding. Not all of them, but I swear to God, there are a lot of them. They just want you to bring out that side of them, I promise. Ladies, will you ANONYMOUSLY give me an Amen! in the comments section on that one?!

And if I am wrong, I must accept the fact that I am truly a freak.

Hhhmmmmm....I must come up with at least one more thought to make this post seem balanced to me. Oh well, all I can think of is RICK SUCKS!

That's all there is, for the moment.

Meg

Ain't poetry special?

Ordinarily, all I remember is that iambic pentameter stuff that I learned in high school. (F-F-F-E-N, T-T-T-O-N, F-E-N-T-O-N, Fenton, Fenton, Fenton! -Fenton High School, Bensenville, Illinois....Class of '76!)
But, I do seem to remember haikus as well.

The comb over job
Camouflaging your bald head
Fools no one but you.

OR...

How neatly you space
Those eight hairs on your head
Try hair plugs next time.

OR...

Misshapen penis
Evokes laughter from many
Keep it in your pants

OR...

Oh, Rick how you like
To hit those smaller than you
You belong in jail.


Be back later with more updates of the life of Meg.

Meg

Are the horoscope writers reading my blog?

My horoscope for today:

If you are holding on to a feeling from the past, today may be the day that you can finally let it go. Don't be afraid to use a simple ritual to leave something behind that you no longer need. Light a candle, do a dance, say a prayer or stare at the stars -- but do something special. Afterwards, you can focus your intent on the present moment.

Do a dance? What dance? The jitterbug? The foxtrot? The Hokey-Pokey? I think I'll go with the "do something special". It gives me much more latitude. Hhhmmmm, what special thing can I do?

I know, I will leave it up to you all. Now, consider the fact that I am broke and unable to get a job without a car and I am in constant pain. Perhaps you could send me the instructions on how to create a voo-doo doll. Do you know where they sell dioxin, LOL? OH! Maybe you could send me a Valentine's gift! Lord knows I won't be getting one from my husband, even if we were still together. I could still use a dozen roses, a dozen, not 11. I prefer red but any color would do. But, I do like surprises so you could use your imagination. Now, one year Rick and I had a mouse problem. He gave me earrings that I thought were cats. He said, "No, they are mice, remember the mouse we had last fall?"

Thank God we didn't have cockroaches.

So, not to appear ungrateful, but no vermin, even if they are in the form of 10 karat gold. You might ask how that is "me doing something special". Well, receiving a gift would be terribly special to me as I have rarely gotten any since my marriage to Rick. And, then I could tell the world that I am worth the time and effort it takes to buy a Valentine gift. Or maybe, it would be you telling me that same thing.

Meg

Good morning!

As much as I enjoy venting on this blog, I get the biggest kick out of reading the comments you guys put out there. I wanted to share a bit of advice with all of you who haven't figured it out yet. If you are having trouble with your mate, do not, I repeat, DO NOT ask advice from one of your OWN kind, go find one of the other. They understand the motives much better than your own kind ever will. The best advice I have ever gotten regarding men has come from other men. Of course, you have to be sure the one you ask is objective. You could find yourself getting advice from the one who secretly wants you (or your man)! Nobody asked about that but I thought I would toss it in as it is barely 6 am and my brain hasn't absorbed the coffee yet. I will be back later with much more clearer thoughts after I take my father to the airport this am. In the meantime, let me tell you a stupid joke:

There was this string. He was walking down the street on a hot summer's day and he had a taste for a beer. He hopped into a bar and onto a bar stool and said, "I'll have a beer!" The bartender replied, "We don't serve string here!"
The string left, walking down the street. He came across a friendly appearing man and the string asked the man to tie him in a knot. The man hesitated, but he tied the string in a knot. The string then asked the man to fray him around the edges. The man was a little confused, but he did as the string requested, he frayed the string around the edges. The string then hopped back into the bar, hopped back up on the barstool and said, "I'll have a beer." The bartender asked, "Aren't you that same string who was in here a while ago?" To which the string replied, "I'm afraid not."

Yeah, yeah, I know it is dumb but I still laugh when I tell it as it is amazingly stupid, corny, and to me, funny.

Love ya!

Dear Meg,

Rick seems to be the typical scumbag, someone whose personality men can understand but at the same time, Us good guys fear that part of us, seems like Rick just let it all slide, What a worm! Marriage is hard, raising children is hard, but so is everything else that is worth a damn in this world. I have no repect for men who take the path of least resistance.

Yeah Dude,
I guess you are right. All men (and women, for that matter) have the potential to be all sorts of freaky things, I suppose. I guess it's behavior left over from our barbaric ancestors. But a bunch of us had fathers that went out of their way to actively teach values. I often thank God that I did. Certainly mothers play a great role, too (But I am answering the man who posted the above comment), but to the men who would grumble that men are losing control of society, remember that old adage: The hand that rocks the cradle rocks the world. We all just assume it refers to women. It does not. We may no longer need the family unit to survive, but I kinda think we need it to survive with any degree of a peaceful easy feeling. Children raised without fathers (or by fathers that were women abusers, liars, cheats, gun runners, pimps and/or drug dealers) fill the jails and wreak havoc on the outside. So, if you want to be a real man, woman, or just a decent member of out society, consider what behavior you would want your children to emulate. They will most certainly do it.


Meg

There once was a man named Rick
He had a freaky twisted small dick
His wife tried to teach him
But she just couldn't reach him
You'd think he'd at least learn to lick.

But Rick was not very bright
And nothing he did in bed was quite right
His wife was very frustrated
She thought he should just be castrated
As she lay there in bed every night.

He often played with his very own knob
Even though he could have had a great blow job
He had very odd views on sex
Blaming every little thing on his ex
Said she cheated on him with some guy named Bob.

Rick turned out to be a big fat liar
Can't get the truth out of him with a plyer
So his ex wife most likely was decent
He lied then and told more lies quite recent
And many illegitimate kids he did sire.

Now, the sex was not that big of a deal
But violence made him feel like a big wheel
He smacked his wife to feel like a man
He never learned how to wipe in the can
I guess he is just a big fat schlemiel.

Dear Rick,

You will never know how much it hurt me when you hit me in the face the day you left. Not so much from the pain of the smack, but from the nasty words you said to me. I couldn't believe that the man who promised to take care of me forever was hurting me in such a cruel way. The contempt with which you looked me in the eye as you were hitting me broke my heart. The bruises healed, but I will never forget that contempt. I will never forget how you promised to stay if I jumped through all of your hoops and tried so hard to make it work, like a fool, I admit. But you never intended to stay. The decent thing to do (look up decent in the dictionary, you can find one at the library), would have been to tell me the truth so that I could try to prepare for life alone. But that would have taken courage and you don't have a shred of it.

I accepted your twisted penis with it's rapid fire qualities, I accepted a few affairs. I accepted the life you chose for us, watching the televison as in an effort to assure it was never stolen. When I inhaled next to you, I didn't vomit from the odor and even bought you your first deodorant. I asked you to go to the dentist when your teeth began to get longer from the recession of your gums. You balked at that and didn't even have the decency to brush those teeth on a daily basis. When you did go to the dentist and they gave you the rinse to help with the hideous periodontal disease, you didn't care enough to use that. When you started brushing your teeth and buying mouth wash, it wasn't for me, it was for one of your trashy bimbos who thought nothing of bopping a married man. You watched Dr. Phil and said what bums those men were who cheated on thier wives as you were keeping your own little secrets. You punched holes in our walls and I just sat back and watched you repair them so that no one wouold know what a freak you were. I stayed anyway, I accept full resposibility for that but I have one question, how do you look at yourself in the mirror? I don't mean "How do you keep from cringing at your teeth? but rather, "How do you justify your behavior?"

I didn't ask where the viagra was going and I didn't even realize that when you used me for a toilet for your sperm that you were really only attempting to get off so that you MIGHT last a little longer for your tramps. Why, after decades of calling me your soul mate and telling me that I was the only family that you had, did you leave me when I was too ill to take care of myself? I accepted the anniversary gifts that never came and the fact that you never took me out of the house. How many women would go for that for any length of time? Not many, I assure you. You, your twisted freaked out one eyed wonder worm that is just a tad dysfunctional, and your nasty teeth will not satisfy the type of woman who would accept you and your BS for any length of time. Well, she probably wouldn't mind the nasty teeth, but the other things will grow old sooner or later.

When you said that our sex life was not as "intense" as it used to be, you didn't even realize that you were admitting to having sex with other women (I assume they were women). Well, honeybuns, it takes effort to keep the fire burning and you will never know how to do it as long as you keep leaving when the honeymoon phase of your newest squeeze gets old. A mature relationship of over 20 years can never compare in intensity to the new relationship and sooner or later you will be bored with that one or she will become bored with the Speedy Gonzalez type of sex that you are soooooo good at. I do have one question, why did you do this to me?

Have a lovely day.

To all other people who are cheating, read that very carefully, maybe you will learn something and then you can have the wonderful benefits of sticking out a marriage and the warm, loving feelings that go along with it.

Meg